In the Clouds

"Sore head?" Carol asked, walking into the living room the next morning where Daryl had slept on the sofa all night.

"Yeah." Daryl grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"Here." Carol said, sitting a cup of coffee on the coffee table.

"I only had four cans." Daryl said.

"Never could hold your alcohol." Carol said as Daryl rolled his eyes, sitting up and reaching for the coffee, "And your body won't be used to it. Did you even eat anything yesterday?"

"I… had a sandwich on the bus." Daryl said, "Tasted weird, though."

"You'll be used to whatever it was they gave you in prison." Carol figured.

"Yeah, I never want to see mashed potatoes ever again." Daryl told her.

"Noted." Carol said, watching him sip at the coffee, wiping the sleep out of his eyes, "I know yesterday was a lot."

"Yesterday was a shitshow." Daryl corrected.

"Being horrible to Shiv isn't going to serve you well if you want to be a part of Brianna's life." Carol said.

"I'm mad at you, too." Daryl told her, "I'm mad at everyone. Why the hell did no one tell me? Why didn't Shiv tell me?"

"If you let her explain last night instead of insulting her, maybe you'd know." Carol shrugged, "She came by this morning to take Brianna to pre-k. She did not look happy."

"Let her sulk." Daryl shook his head, "She's the one in the wrong here."

"Is she?" Carol said, "She's been raising a kid on her own for four years. She lost her career aspirations. Her friends. Her own parents want nothing to do with her." She said.

"Not my problem." Daryl said coldly. He was still too angry to think rationally.

"It is your problem, actually. You're the one who got her pregnant." Carol said with a stern look on her face, "Now you can waste time being mad about everything, or you can go talk to her and work it out. Start getting to know your daughter."

"Work it out? You make it sound so simple." Daryl shook his head, "She's the one who kept it from me. She can make the effort."

"Are you not even going to ask about Brianna?" Carol asked with sadness, "About what she's like?"

"I'm going to shower." Daryl said, standing up from the sofa, shaking the blanket off him and heading for the door.

"Daryl, you can't ignore this." Carol told him as he left the living room and headed upstairs.

"Morning. Sorry I'm late. Thomas had to change his clothes before we left. Spilled his orange juice all over him." Punk shook his head, "This is why I don't let them pour their own drinks." He said, realising he was talking to himself as Shiv was busy making coffees and Finn was loading up more fresh pastries to the counter.

"There's a delivery man out back. Needs your signature." Shiv said, putting the coffee on the tray and heading over to deliver it to the man waiting at his table.

"She alright?" Punk asked Finn.

"No. Don't think so." Finn concluded, "I am not enjoying the atmosphere in here today." He whispered to Punk, "She seems really… angry." He said as they both watched Shiv return with the empty tray, slamming it down onto the counter and walking by them to get more milk from the walk-in.

"Yeah, I can see that." Punk said, watching Shiv come back through with two pints of milk.

"That delivery guy is waiting outside for you." Shiv reminded Punk with attitude.

"Right. Yeah." Punk nodded, making a scared face to Finn before heading through the back and signing for their food delivery.

"You want me to make you some breakfast?" Finn asked Shiv who began running mugs through the dishwasher.

"No. I'm fine." Shiv shook her head.

"Are you ok? I know yesterday was probably a lot." Finn said.

"I'm fine." Shiv nodded.

"Ok." Finn said awkwardly, "I'll be back here if you need me." He said quietly before slipping away to the kitchen where Punk was taking their delivery in.

"You heard from Daryl?" Punk asked Finn.

"No. I called him last night but… nothing." Finn said.

They were all worried about how Daryl had left them last night. Drunk and enraged by finding out he had a kid which no one told him about. They worried about his safety and if he got home ok. It had no doubt been a crazy day for him.

"If we get a quiet spell in the afternoon, I might head over to his mom's. See if he's there." Punk nodded.

"Good idea." Finn nodded.

"He's there." Shiv said, coming into the kitchen, "And you guys are terrible at whispering." She added, "I need more napkins for the dispenser."

"In the cupboard." Punk told her, looking over at Finn who just shrugged, "So you… you saw him last night?"

"Yeah." Shiv said, "Did you guys really think getting him drunk on his first day back was the right move?" She asked, crouching down, looking for a fresh box of napkins in their storage cupboard.

"It was… his call." Punk said, "You were there when he got home?"

"Yeah." Shiv nodded, finding the box, taking it and closing the cupboard door, "He's a piece of shit." She looked at them both before heading out of the kitchen to the front of the shop.

"Jesus, it just gets worse." Finn scoffed, "You think he got mad with her?"

"Drunk mad by the sounds of it." Punk groaned, "I thought he'd be happy to see her, honestly. I thought maybe this whole avoidance of talking about her in prison was cause it was too hard for him to think about her. Now I think they really don't like one another." He shook his head.

"I mean… she didn't tell him about Brianna. I get why he's mad." Finn said quietly.

"Yeah, but he killed someone and went to prison for it. That's not Shiv's fault." Punk said.

"It's probably best we don't say anything to her." Finn suggested, "She's scaring me." He admitted as Punk rolled his eyes.

"Oh… hey." Lyla said, surprised to see Daryl walking into The Brewberry.

"Hey." Daryl nodded, "Can I get a coffee?" He asked her, walking over to the counter.

"Uh… yeah." Lyla said with confusion.

"I can't go across the road." Daryl said bluntly.

"Right." Lyla nodded, "Just a black coffee?"

"Yeah." Daryl nodded, looking around The Brewberry which had a few people scattered around at different tables. It was pretty much the same as he remembered. Bright and funky. Fairy lights and flowers. Art pieces hanging on the wall and a bookshelf in the corner.

"Sore head this morning?" Lyla asked.

"Yeah." Daryl said, "Probably wasn't the best idea."

"Probably not." Lyla said, "Cake is good for soaking up alcohol. You want a piece of something?"

"No. I'm not hungry." Daryl shook his head, "What happened to Carlo's pizza place? Did he rename it?" He asked her as she passed him the black coffee, watching him put an absurd amount of sugar in it.

"Uh… no. No, he moved his shop to New York. It's new owners. Still does good pizza, though." Lyla said.

"Oh… so you and him… it's not-"

"We broke up." Lyla nodded, "Amicably, though."

"Sorry. That must have sucked. Him moving away." Daryl said, adding more sugar to the coffee.

"You got enough sugar in there?" Lyla asked, horrified.

"Think so." Daryl nodded, watching as AJ came in from the back with a tray of fresh croissants.

"Hey." AJ said with surprise.

"We'll probably need an extra delivery of sugar if Daryl is gonna come by here every day." Lyla told her as Daryl just gave her a smile.

"How are you?" AJ asked, sliding the tray of croissants into the slot at the counter.

"I've been better." Daryl shrugged, not really knowing what to say. His head was in the clouds. He didn't know if he wanted to smash something or cry. Or both.

"I was just going to have a coffee break. You wanna sit out the back with me?" AJ asked him.

"Yeah, alright." Daryl nodded, "Can I come through the back? You know, with the whole, no boys beyond this point sign." He pointed up to the infamous sign above the coffee machine.

"Yeah, just don't tell Becca." AJ smiled, making herself some coffee as Daryl made his way through the back of their shop.

"Where is Becca anyway?" Daryl asked, walking out the back exit, sitting down on the step as AJ joined beside him.

"It's her day off." AJ said, "She's probably spending time with her new cows."

"Jesus." Daryl shook his head with a laugh, digging into his pocket and pulling out a carton of cigarettes, "Do you mind?"

"Oh… no." AJ said, "But, I don't approve."

"I know. Picked it up in prison." Daryl said, "I'll get patches or something soon." He promised.

"Yeah, you better." AJ said, reaching up and closing the door behind them so his smoke didn't travel into the kitchen, watching him light the cigarette in his mouth.

"I'm mad, AJ." Daryl told her honestly, "I'm mad at everyone."

"I know." AJ nodded, "And I don't blame you."

"How could you guys keep this from me?' He asked her.

"Because we knew Shiv didn't want to tell you. We didn't feel like it was our place to tell you something like that." AJ said.

"Why didn't she want to tell me?" Daryl asked.

"I don't know. She was scared." AJ assumed, "And maybe the thought of telling you she was pregnant, and you not being able to be here, maybe she didn't want it to hurt you."

"Well, I'm hurting now. So what difference did it make?" Daryl shook his head, taking a draw of his cigarette.

"We didn't even find out until two years ago. She disappeared when you went to prison. At first we thought she'd gone back to college but none of us heard from her." AJ said, "Then she showed up one day with a two-year-old. Not the same Shiv we all knew."

"Why did she leave?" Daryl asked.

"Her parents threw her out. They were already mad with her for what happened with you. Ashamed of her. Then she told them she was pregnant. You can imagine how thrilled they were." She said sarcastically as Daryl shook his head.

"She could have gone to my mom. Or to you guys. How did she support herself and a baby on her own? In the city?" Daryl questioned.

"I don't know. She doesn't really talk to us, Daryl. We all assume that it was maybe a college friend she stayed with. Or maybe a shelter of some kind." AJ shrugged, "She started working with Phil when she got back. Got herself an apartment for her and Brianna. And for the most part, she's just kept her head down."

"Why didn't she work here?" Daryl asked. It was different talking to AJ. He felt he was getting the honest truth from her. The way she spoke softly made him feel a lot more relaxed. It was nothing against Punk or Finn, or even his mother, it just felt more real and sincere coming from AJ.

"She didn't want to. As you can imagine, Lyla and Becca swarmed her with questions. And at the time, Phil really needed staff. Him and Finn had been surviving on their own but it was getting too much. It just fell into place." AJ said.

"Yeah, that's what Phil said." Daryl nodded.

"He wanted to tell you." AJ said, "He really did. He's lost so much sleep over it. Hates himself that he had to keep it from you. But he didn't want to hurt Shiv either." AJ explained, "None of us did."

"So you all just tiptoe around her?" Daryl asked.

"Pretty much." AJ nodded, "She's a… wonderful mom." She told him as he turned to her, "And Brianna is the sweetest kid. She's in the same class as the twins at pre-k."

"Does she know about me? Brianna?" Daryl asked. It felt odd to say her name. To hear himself saying her name. His daughter.

"I don't think so." AJ shook her head as Daryl nodded, flicking the ash on the end of his cigarette away before taking another draw.

"I thought she would have moved away. Graduated and started her own business somewhere. Found herself a nice guy." Daryl said, "Instead her life has been just as miserable as mine, by the sounds of it."

"Don't say that." AJ said unhappily, "She loves Brianna to death. Everything she does is for that little girl. I know that much." She said, "Please don't imply that by having her, Shiv ruined her life."

"I think that's what I said to her last night." Daryl nodded.

"Oh, Daryl." AJ sighed unhappily.

"She should have told me." Daryl shook his head, "Even if I was in prison. I had a right to know. I mean… kids can visit their dads in prison. They got a family room there. I could have… met Brianna. She could have sent me updates and pictures of her. It would have hurt but… at least I would know." He said.

"Maybe she didn't want Brianna's first impressions of you to be some guy locked up in the city." AJ said.

"Sometimes I genuinely feel myself hating her for this." He admitted.

"You don't hate her. I don't think you ever could." AJ shook her head, "You guys need to work it out. If not for each other, then for Brianna. I mean… don't you want to be part of her life now?"

"What the hell do I know about being a dad?" Daryl shook his head, "She's probably better off without me." He mumbled.

"No, she isn't. You'll be a great dad." AJ said firmly.

"She looked shy when I saw her. Is she shy?" Daryl asked.

"A little." AJ nodded, "But she's sweet and kind. She loves the My Little Pony collectables. And Frozen. She goes to gymnastics and likes watching sports." AJ said as Daryl smiled.

"What's Frozen?" He turned to AJ with confusion as she smiled.

"A Disney movie." AJ nodded, "You'll come to know. Don't worry."

"I know nothing about her." Daryl sighed, "Shiv probably won't let me near her after last night."

"Just let her cool off." AJ nodded.

"She doesn't look that different. Shiv, I mean." Daryl said.

"You guys are still babies." AJ said, nudging him playfully.

"It's not going to work out." Daryl told her, "Me and her. Too much has happened. Craig. It was over the minute that happened." He said.

He was beginning to realise he resented Shiv a great deal. He didn't give a second thought at the time. He wasn't going to let her go down for it. Never in a million years. But after four years of rough living and knowing he'd missed out on his kid's life, he resented her so much. He couldn't pretend he didn't.

"Just take it one day at a time." AJ suggested, "And maybe stay away from the booze. Don't use it as a coping mechanism. You'll just find yourself with more problems than you already have."

"Yeah, maybe." Daryl nodded, "I really thought I'd be able to work with Phil and Finn again." He shook his head, "Where the hell am I going to find a job in this place?"

"I wasn't joking about you working here." AJ said, "You know your way around a coffee machine. I'd happily make you an honorary Brewberry girl." She said as Daryl laughed a little.

"I don't know if I'd remember how to make a decent coffee." Daryl admitted, thinking more seriously about the offer.

"I would ease you in gently." AJ said, "What do you say?" She said as he turned to her.

"Shit. Ok." Daryl nodded, "I'm not going to find anything anywhere else." He figured.

"Oh, so we're an afterthought?" AJ scoffed.

"No. But it probably does makes sense, I suppose." Daryl nodded, "When can I start?"

"Tomorrow?" AJ asked as he nodded, "And get yourself some Nicotine patches in the morning. It is not a good look." She told him as he took a draw of his cigarette and nodded.

"Yeah, I know." He said.