I woke up around early 4 am by my groggy glance at the clock in the hallway. I got up and turned the tv off and went upstairs after fixing up the clean-living room. I looked around my room feeling a cold draft from the cracked window.
I didn't open that. I closed it and locked it. I laid down on my bed and went to sleep until I heard Uncle Charlie downstairs. I couldn't move or get up to greet him, I was sucked back into slumber for a couple more hours.
When I woke up, I cleaned the house before taking a shower. Uncle Charlie at the sandwiches, finished the coffee and half the soda and a water bottle. I ate the rest of my salad I had put into the microwave; I read my book to not disturb Uncle Charlie's slumber with the television. For lunch I had a slice of pizza, and I planned to make something small for dinner.
Around 3 pm Billy called about plans for dinner at his house, I told him Uncle Charlie was still asleep, and I'll relay the message when he gets up.
"Charlies still asleep? He didn't work today?"
"He had to do a night shift last night when we got back to the house."
"Oh! Okay, let him know I called."
"I will."
I returned back to the couch just as Uncle Charlie was coming down the staircase.
"Billy called asking us to come over for dinner." I reported as I followed him into the kitchen.
He opened the fridge to grab the orange juice, "Oh… do you want to or were you planning on cooking?"
"I didn't know what to cook, honestly. We can have dinner at Billy's if you want to."
"We can go to Billy's." He says, groggy as he pours juice into his glass. "I'll call him in a minute." He says sighing and sniffing as he looks at the clock in the hallway.
"Okay." I walked back to the living room and sat back down on the couch and reopening my book to read.
A few minutes later Uncle Charlie walking into the staircase, "Get ready, kiddo."
"Okay," I got up and followed him up the stairs.
I dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater with a tank top and a solid tee under it. I pulled on my sneakers that been washed off of all mud from my adventures from a month ago. I did a double take seeing Uncle Charlie walk out of his room in a pair of jeans and a button up dress shirt, he stopped just outside his door and looked down at his outfit. He looked snazzy but too much for dinner with family friends.
"Too much?"
"Not unless you're planning on winning over Billy's heart."
"Sue is coming for dinner."
My eyebrows shot up, no wonder he dressed in that button up, "Oh." I smiled and he gave me a look.
"What?"
"Nothing."
A pause of silence as I thought over this situation.
"You want to impress her, don't you?"
"Is it obvious?"
"Like a open sore. Come on," I gestured for him to go back into his room. "We'll find something impressive but not too… dressy." He let me pass and I walked over to his open closet.
"What's wrong with it?" Uncle Charlie asks.
"Nothing, you just look… uncomfortable." He was uncomfortably fixing his shirt. I picked out a solid black tee and a newer grey shaded flannel with the tag still on it, I held the clothes out to him. "Put this on and comb your hair."
"What's wrong with my hair?"
"You look like you just got up."
He looked at himself in his cloudy dresser mirror, he ran his fingers through his hair to tame it, "You're right."
I looked over his jeans, they looked a little raggedy to go with the new flannel.
"Maybe I should take a quick shower." Uncle Charlie suggested after smelling his armpits.
I chuckled, "And a new pair of jeans."
"What's wrong with my jeans?"
"You got a hole on you tushy." I quipped as I walked out of his room.
"What?" His voice went higher, and I laughed when he grumbled unintelligent words. He must've checked himself because the hole was a fib.
"I'll be downstairs." I informed as I descended the staircase.
I smiled over at him when we settled in his vehicle, he looked more comfortable, and he still looked genuinely nice.
"Now if Sue doesn't like this outfit. Oh well, another bachelorette will."
He grumbled about not wanting any other bachelorettes. Charlie talked about Sue and her kids, Leah and Seth, for the whole drive with optimistic confidence. He grew nervous by the time we pulled into the driveway of Billy's house. A beige sedan was parked next to an older red model Volkswagen. The house looked lively with the open front door and the lights on within, I can see people walking around inside. I smiled at Uncle Charlie as he mocked a glare.
"Let's go see your girlfriend!" I sang-songed, teasing him, with a wide grin.
"Keep it up, I'll lock you in basement." He threatened.
"Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Chief Swan is nervous, nervous."
"Five minutes in the basement." He says while getting out of the car.
"He is nervous, nervous, nervous!" I exclaimed when I got out the car.
A gush of wind swept my hair over my shoulders from behind, it blew in my face as I turned to Charlie as I walked to front end of the car.
"An hour!" He threatens with red ears and an embarrassment smirk on his face.
I cackled and jogged to catch up with him.
"Hey!" Billy calls from his small living room while an older girl that looked just like was standing him, she waves and greets us with an enthusiastic:
"Hello!" She's not Sue Clearwater by her facial features, she was definitely Billy's daughter, it was unmistakable.
"What's up?" A boy with burly muscles grins from the stove with an older woman at his side.
The older woman must be Sue, she looked over her shoulder and I had a strong feeling I was right. She is gorgeous with long black hair and a strong facial features, she also looked like a sweetheart.
"Hey, Rach, Paul. Sue, this is my niece, Vivianna," Uncle Charlie says walking further into the house and over to Billy by the couch. "Vivianna, this is Rachel she is Billy's eldest daughter, Paul is her boyfriend and Sue Clearwater."
I followed him like a lost puppy, my hand trembled slightly when I waved and smiled at everyone who gazed in my direction. Oh, I'm such a spaz.
"Hi, Vivianna," Rachel greets with a soft smile.
"Hi."
"What? Are you nervous now?" Uncle Charlie asks quietly as he sits down on the couch near Billy.
"Haha," I mocked and sat down next to him.
"Who's nervous?" Paul asks, grinning ear to ear while turning away from the stove.
"Vivianna."
"Him."
Uncle Charlie and I answered simultaneously.
"I am not."
"Pssh, please." I smirked at Uncle Charlie, Billy and Rachel looked on with smiles and amused chuckles.
He pointed a warning finger at me, "An hour and a half."
I put my hands up in surrender, "I didn't say a thing."
"Just a warning."
"Paul!" Sue calls from the stove.
"Oh shit! Sorry!" Paul turned back to the stove, Sue and Paul bickered lightly about the food on the stove.
"What'd he do?" Rachel inquires joining them in the small kitchen.
"He's burning the spaghetti sauce," Sue replies while swatting Paul on his arm with a wooden spoon.
"Ow!" Paul grabbed his bicep.
"Oh, you big baby." Rachel and Sue teased.
Paul looked over at us with a wide-eyed expression of offense, he turned back to the women, "Have her hit you with the spoon, see if I'm the big baby then."
"Such a drama queen," Billy joked.
Paul scoffed in offense, Uncle Charlie and I laughed from the couch, "Ugh, this house is always out to get me."
"You have nothing to offer to take from you, Paul." Everyone turned to a new voice, a deeper and huskier voice that was laced in sarcastic humor.
I swore my heart stopped when he stepped into the room and observed everyone. His dark eyes landing on me last, my heart began to flutter in my chest and my stomach filled with butterflies. My hands began to tremble and grow cold. Oh, my goodness was my delusional crush strong.
"Jake! Please!" Then another voice, younger and in a high pitch plea, "I won't take up too much time." The younger boy must be the boy Uncle Charlie was talking about last night, he looked a year younger than me, and then he followed Jacob's gaze on me when he didn't answer him. I never seen someone grin so wide in my life when the boy that looks just like Sue met my eyes, he looked over at Uncle Charlie who spoke up.
"Hey, Jake. Hey, Seth, what are you two doing?" Uncle Charlie asks.
Seth looked up at Jacob with a scrunch of his eyebrows, "Jake was going to show how to fix something."
That seemed to make Jacob snap to reality and his face contoured in annoyance as he looked down at the younger boy, "No, I wasn't." Jacob replied, sharply.
"But Jake—please?!"
"Seth, stop begging." Sue says sternly from the stove.
Seth groaned and grumbly stormed over to the couch and sat down with a huff.
Uncle Charlie padded the pockets of his jacket and his jean pockets, "Hey, kid, can you go grab my phone from the car? I'm expecting a call."
"Yeah," I replied and opened my hand for him to drop his car keys in my palm.
Leaving the house for not even three minutes provided me time to get my nerves under control. I jumped when the passenger door to the beige car opened just as I closed the drive door with Charlie's phone retrieved. An older girl stepped out with a scowl on her beautiful face. Why is she so upset? I couldn't imagine what she was upset over to contour her face in an expression like that.
"Hi," I greeted.
"Hi." She greeted me indifferently.
"Are you Leah? Charlie talks about you three all the time."
"You must be, Vivianna." She says with a snap of her fingers, "The one who tried to commit suicide." She says crossing her arms. I felt my hand grow cold and my body stilled as she walked to back end of the vehicle, "Next time, make sure that you actually kill yourself. No, better yet, you should be dead." She walked away and I stared after her with everything within me going completely silent.
I walked back to the house and closed the front door behind me.
"Vivianna, you hungry?" Rachel asks as she and Sue were assembling plates of spaghetti, meatballs, and sauce, Jacob, Paul, and Seth in the living room with the men.
My stomach growled in response, and I nodded.
"Come sit," Sue pats a chair at the table after she placed a plate down.
I handed off Uncle Charlie's phone as he came to get plates for him and Billy. Uncle Charlie studied my face, and he stopped in his tracks. Rachel stopped abruptly and looked between us.
"You alright?" He asks, I looked away and sat down at the table.
"Yeah." My tone was leveled but he heard the edge, he went to speak but Billy interrupted.
"Are we picnicking? I'm kind of getting cramped in here." Billy asks rolling towards the hallway, Charlie's attention was reverted to his friend.
You should be dead. You should be dead. My mind repeated, tormenting me as everyone left down the hallway and I stared back down at the plate in front of me. Silence filled the house, and I finally broke down.
I sat down on the floor of the bathroom with my legs to my chest and my head in my arms. I don't know how I was crying until I heard someone gasp from the doorway.
"Oh."
I looked up to Rachel, standing there, I wiped my face, and I stood up from the floor, "I'm sorry." I slipped past her to find a new hiding spot.
"Whoa, wait, hold on there. Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
I shook my head, swallowing the knot in my throat, "Nothing, nothing." I walked away in a haste, and she let me go this time.
I sat outside by Charlie's car, I didn't even care that my bum was getting wet and cold. I pulled my hood up and wrapped my arms around my legs again. I stared out at the darkening lawn with a deadened mind.
"Vivianna?"
"Vivianna!"
The first one was somewhere from around the back of the house by Jacob and the other was in the front doorway by Uncle Charlie.
"She's right there." I heard Paul say.
I looked up, really praying to be alone but that didn't happen. Uncle Charlie came into view as the porch light turned on and he crouched down in the view of the house.
"Hey, hey, what happened?" Charlie pushed my hood back and pushed the hair out of my face. "Talk to me, kid."
I clenched my jaw, inhaled through my nose sharply as more tears fell from my eyes, "Why would she say that?" I murmured, my voice cracking.
"Who said what? What happened?"
"Leah." Was all I said before a choked a sob, I buried my hands in my hair.
"What did Leah say?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, "She said that next time I should make sure that I killed myself, that I should be dead."
"What the fuck…?" Charlie stood up and turned to Jacob a couple feet away whose arms were quivering, "Where is she?" Charlie demands as he walks towards the house and Jacob walks over to me.
"Who?" Rachel asked.
"Leah." Charlie and Rachel enter the house.
Jacob squats down two feet in front of me, "Vivianna, don't listen to her. You know that you are wanted here, right?"
"Why do you care?"
"Why wouldn't I care?"
"You don't know me. But Leah is right."
"Leah is not right. She's nowhere right. Leah's a miserable bitch; she wants everyone to be as miserable as she is. She's wrong, Vivianna."
"Why do you care, Jacob? Just as much as I am nothing to her, same goes with you."
"Vivianna, you are a person. Leah may not give a shit about others or their feelings, but I do."
"My feelings don't matter."
"If they didn't matter," Jacob says in a softer tone, "You wouldn't be crying over what she said. You care about them, you know that what she said wasn't true. You want to be here."
"You don't know what I want."
"I know that what she said hurt you. If you didn't believe what she said wasn't true, you wouldn't be right here."
I didn't say anything else because he was right.
"Charlie, I'm sorry!" I heard Sue call from the doorway with his footsteps on the driveway.
"Come on, Vivianna, we're leaving." Charlie says, his tone demanded no argument.
Jacob reached out his hands to me, I looked at them for a split second before reaching my hands out to him. I retracted my hands when his hands shocked mine and the currents traveled up my arm, but I reached out to him again. Getting to my feet was easy peasey lemon squeezy, Jacob caught the passenger door from Uncle Charlie opening it from inside the car. I let go of Jacobs hand and slid into the cruiser, he shut the door behind me and stepped back a couple steps.
I kept my face hidden from view of the windshield, I pulled my hood back up and my hair assisted in keeping my face hidden..
"Don't be a stranger, ol' man. You both are always welcome to come over anytime." Billy calls from the ramp, his voice muffled.
Uncle Charlie sighs before reversing out of the driveway.
…
Once we got into the house, Uncle Charlie hid anything that I could potentially hurt myself with locked away in the hall closet. He made me take my emergency anti-anxiety med before getting me to talk about Leah again.
"I greeted her first, she didn't seem to be too happy with talking with me by her own greeting. I asked her if she was Leah and that you talk about her and her family all the time. And then she said, I must be Vivianna, the one that tried to kill herself. That next time that I should make sure I died or better yet, I should be dead."
"That's it?"
"That's it. She walked away after that into the woods."
He let me go after that when the phone started ringing. I changed out of my clothes and into pajamas before laying down. I heard Uncle Charlie arguing with someone downstairs.
In that moment, I was really glad he decided to sweep the house of weapons before letting me escape to my room.
My anxiety med kicked in and knocked me into a dreamless sleep with this last thought.
Leah's a bitch.