I do not own Merlin
"What did you just do?!" Gaius asked looking incensed.
"Erm..." Merlin said looking fearful.
"Tell me!" Gaius said forcefully.
"Gaius," Hunith scolded and Gaius gave her a slightly sheepish glance.
"I don't think I've ever seen you look that scared before," Gwen commented feeling for her friend. He'd just seen someone get executed for having magic and still had used it to save Gaius's life despite what could have potentially happened.
"I grew up with that fear. It's always been a part of me and seeing that execution didn't help matters so of course I was scared," Merlin said with a shrug as the others winced at the thought of growing up in fear for something they had no control over.
"I—I- I have no idea what happened," Merlin stuttered.
"You really need lessons in lying mate," Gwaine said shaking his head in amusement.
"True. How on earth are you even alive?" Elyan asked shocked. If he, after just watching an execution for magic, used it only moments later and then came up with the most crappy lie in history, only on the first day, then it was a wonder he'd managed to keep it a secret this long.
"Sheer dumb luck," Merlin said with a smile and shrug.
"You can say that again, though I admit you have gone smarter over the years," Meilani said ruffling his hair.
"I had to," Merlin said grimly, the seriousness of the statement sobering everyone up.
"If anyone had seen that..." Gaius said.
"Er, no! That-that was- that was nothing to do with me. That-that was..." Merlin stuttered.
"You're adorable," Gwaine teased ruffling his hair as Merlin batted it away with an embarrassed scoff.
"Shut it Gwaine," Merlin said shaking his head, his cheeks red.
"No, but seriously, you actually are," Gwaine said winking at him.
"Gwaine!" Merlin said scandalised and Gwaine and the others laughed at him.
"I know what it was! I just want to know where you learned how to do it!" Gaius said.
"Nowhere," Merlin said shaking his head.
"So how is it you know magic?" Gaius asked.
"I don't," Merlin said.
"Where did you study? Answer me!" Gaius demanded.
"Gaius you're scaring him," Hunith scolded.
"Sorry Hunith," Gaius said apologetically. He could now see the amount of fear that was in Merlin's eyes.
"I-I've never studied magic or, or been taught," Merlin said.
Arthur scoffed and Merlin sighed as he looked at him and said, "That was admittedly a bit of a lie but in my defence I was frightened. I did have lessons with Lani after all, but those were far and few in between with her travelling."
"Are you lying to me, boy?" Gaius demanded.
"What do you want me to say?" Melrin asked slumping in defeat.
"The truth!" Gaius said.
"I was born like this!" Merlin said.
"That's impossible! Who are you?" Gaius asked.
"You didn't think it was possible?" Arthur asked.
"No. Merlin's an enigma few could hope to understand," Gaius said with a proud countenance. Merlin was truly something else.
"You got that right," Gwaine said smiling at his best friend.
"Oh, erm..." Merlin said as he pulled off his backpack and pulled out a letter handing it to Gaius as he said, "I have this letter."
"I- I don't have my glasses," Gaius said.
"I'm Merlin," Merlin introduced himself.
"Hunith's son?" Gaius asked.
"Yes!" Merlin said brightening up.
"But you're not meant to be here till Wednesday!" Gaius said.
"It is Wednesday," Merlin said hesitantly quite confused but clearly not wanting to offend.
Hunith laughed at her brother as did a few others before they stopped when Gaius looked at them with his eyebrow of doom.
"We'll see how you'll be at my age. The days start to blur together," Gaius grumbled.
"Ah. Right, then. You better put your bag in there," Gaius said pointing to the door.
"You- you won't say anything about, erm..." Merlin said anxiously.
"No. Although, Merlin, I should say thank you," Gaius said and Merlin nodded but before he went in his room Gaius said, "How's Mei by the way? And the baby? She didn't come last month as she normally does to one of the outlying villages I normally visit so I assume she's quite busy caring for..." He trailed off confused when he saw the pained look on Merlin's face. The others could see the emotions that filtered across his face, the most prominent one being grief. "What's wrong?" He asked then.
"You don't know?" Merlin asked his voice pained.
"Know what?" Gaius asked confused.
"Did you not get the letter I'd sent before?" Hunith asked confused.
"No," Gaius said.
"Must have got lost on the way or something," Hunith said with a shrug.
"She didn't tell you either," Merlin said with a sigh before he dropped his bag in his room and moved to Gaius the both of them sitting on the bench now. "She...Before she was pregnant, she got shot with an arrow in her stomach when she escaped a raid on one of the druid camps she was staying in. There was only her and another man who helped her, except he didn't have an affinity for healing spells and was only able to partially heal the tearing but...when she got pregnant, a healer at another druid camp who was checking on her told her that...he told her that because of what happened, there would be problems with her pregnancy. Miscarriage and s-severe blood loss being two of the more likely outcomes. They said she had a higher chance of surviving if she aborted the baby but she couldn't. She...She...It was a girl, the baby's a girl. She's adorable, she has Lani's eyes and her mouth, the rest is obviously from the man she was in love with, her name's Anna by the way, Lani told me that was her name just minutes before she..." Merlin rambled heedless of the tears trailing down his face.
"Merlin is she..." Gaius asked not being able to say the word and Merlin's eyes told him everything and he swallowed his face crumpling slightly and Merlin got up and rounded the table to hug him. They didn't know each other as well as Gaius and Meilani did but they loved the same person and it was better to share grief than dealing with it on their own.
"I think I'm gonna cry," Meilani said as she pressed her hands to her eyes. To think that she was so missed by the people she loved, it just...she'd already seen this...she'd seen them grieve already but she still felt as she had done the first time.
Merin smiled sadly and hugged her as she hugged him back tightly, "We've all missed you Lani," he whispered softly.
"I've missed you all too," Meilani said before they pulled away from each other with a smile before turning back to the memory.
Later that night, Merlin looked out his window at a beautiful view of Camelot.
"That is so unfair. I'm the King and even I don't have such good a view," Arthur said in an attempt to remove the sad atmosphere in the cave from the last memory.
"I think being king makes up for it," Merlin said teasingly and Arthur rolls his eyes at him but was inwardly happy that their banter remained the way it was.
It then showed Gaius looking somber with his head down before he sighed and unfurled the letter reading it with his glasses now on. "My dear Gaius, I turn to you for I feel lost and alone and don't know who to trust. It is every mother's fate to think her child is special, and yet I would give my life that Merlin were not so. Meilani was there to temper and calm his magic somewhat when his emotions had it go out of control but without her, it's been getting harder. His grief is not helping matters either, his emotions are affecting the weather here I can't help him anymore. I don't know how to. Ours is a small village and he is so clearly at odds with people here that, if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him. Without Meilani, he's empty of a hand to hold, a voice to guide and someone that might help him find a purpose for his gifts so I applore you as my brother, to fulfill this role for him. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her son, keep him safe, and may God save you both."
"Wait, you're Gaius's sister?"
"Your emotions affect the weather?!"
"Gaius is your uncle?"
"Just how powerful are you?"
"Ok shut it," Merlin said over the others questions and they quietened down immediately. "Ok, yes, my mother is Gaius's sister which makes him my Uncle. And sometimes, when my emotions get a bit out of hand, it does tend to affect the weather both negatively in the form of thunderstorm or rain depending on the depth of my mood, or positively, in the form of sunlight or other things, which is actually kind of weird considering I actually rather prefer thunderstorms and rain over any other weather."
"But...how can your emotions alone change something like theweather?"Arthur asked shocked. He'd already known Merlin had a preference for the rain, he was always in a good mood close to a thunderstorm.
"I don't know. It just does. I told you I don't exactly know the limit of my powers," Merlin said with a shrug.
Morgana looks out the window from the landing.
"Morgana," Uther said.
"Yes?" Morgana asked.
"What is it? Why are you not joining us at the feast?" Uther asked.
"I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration. That poor mother," Morgana said looking down at the courtyard with a forlorn face.
Those who knew this Morgana swallowed and looked away, even Morgana herself. How things have changed they all thought.
"It was simple justice for what he'd done," Uther said.
"To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone," Morgana said.
"You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like," Uther said.
"How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?" Morgana asked.
"Until they realise there is no room for magic in my kingdom! You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen," Uhter ordered.
"I told you! I want no part in these celebrations!" Morgana said angrily.
"I'm your guardian! I expect you to do as I ask. If you show me no respect at least respect our finest singer," Uther said before turning and walking away.
"You know, the more brutal you are, the more enemies you will create!" Morgana called after him.
"You both have very similar personalities," Meilani commented.
"I am nothing like Uther," Morgana spat angrily.
"You know, you're actually right. You're worse. Despite his many faults, which I'll be the first one to attest to, without his hatred for magic and everything he did in order to eradicate us, he did care for his people in his own way. It's not every king that would try to fight for their kingdom on the battlefield and yet he did. Like the time with the skeleton army invasion when still, despite the weakened state he had been in, he refused to sit idly by to let others do the work for him. Before the purge, I would actually say he was one of the best kings in the five kingdoms. You on the others hand don't give a shit about anyone but has slaughtered thousands in his bid for revenge and you have done the same if not he turned his grief into hatred, you turned your fear into the same and where he chose to eradicate all magic users, you chose to do the same to all those who dare oppose you. You are not fighting for magic, you are fighting for yourself and your own selfish ends. It may have started off as a goal for you to achieve, all those honeyed promises from Morgause that you lapped up without thought, but then it just became mindless cruelty. Take the doroccha for example, do you have any idea how many magical people you wiped out with that act alone?" Meilani asked angrily. Morgana clenched her jaw shut as Mordred looked between them unsurely. "Uther had slaughtered more than enough without your interference. Magic was useless against the doroccha. So many druid camps just wiped out because they couldn't defend themselves and all because of you, because you're thirst for the crown has driven any ounce of good out of your heart and all that's left is an empty shell of who you once were. You can deny it all you want Morgana but you take after Uther more than you realise."
Mordred wanted to deny it but she was right. It was the reason he had left her to begin with but now he had no one but her and she was the only one who would do him justice, do Kara justice, but was that really true he thought as he stared at the woman that had raised him.
Morgana's eyes flash gold as her face twisted in anger and denial but nothing happens, she tried again but again nothing happened and she starts to panic before the voice said, "I warned you Morgana."
"No! Give me back my magic!" Morgana said angrily and fearfully.
"Not until you calm yourself down. The truth is always hard to hear but lashing out will not do you any justice,"the voice said.
"It is not the truth. I amnothinglike him," Morgana said adamantly but the voice paid no heed to her angry vitriol as the memory played.
It then showed as Mary Collins infiltrated the camp where Lady Helen and her guards were staying. It showed as she entered Lady Helen's tent, pulled out a voodoo doll and stabbed it subsequently killing Lady Helen. Then she uses magic to steel her appearance as the others watched in horror.
"That poor woman," Gwen said shaking her head sadly.
"Can you do that?" Arthur asked Merlin.
"Changing the appearance of oneself or the killing thing?" Merlin asked and the others had to stop themselves from reacting to that. It took a bit of effort because it was Merlin. Merlin, the man who didn't want to see innocent animals get killed for sport, who they thought couldn't hurt a fly and yet was talking about killing so nonchalantly. How much did they really know about their friend they thought.
"Both," Arthur said in the same situation as the knights.
"I can change my appearance at will and as I have said before, I have killed, but not like is magic of the darkest kind," Merlin said with a slight shudder.
"All magic is dark," Arthur said but after a sharp glance from Meilani and a hurt look from Merlin, he sighed and said, "Sorry. I just..."
"It will take time Sire," Merlin sighed as he turned away from him and to the memory. Arthur sighed himself as he ran a hand through his hair, he didn't want to hurt Merlin, far from it actually, but it was still a concept too hard to accept so quickly.
Merlin is sleeping in his bed, the moon shining in through his window, when suddenly golden swirls of light began to dance in the air. They swirl around him bathing him with light, giving him an almost ethereal glow. Many people have said that he has almost elvish features and in that moment, he truly looked otherworldly. The light began to form shapes in the air animals raced around him, horses galloped, fish and whales swam, rabbits scuffled by before they suddenly whisked away into nothing.
Blue light then began to emanate from him creating small wisps that formed together to create butterflies of the most beautiful kind. They fluttered around him before one settled upon his nose. He twitched slightly before his eyes opened and he looked around and a bright smile made its way onto his face.
"Wow. Merlin that was beautiful," Gwen said her voice hushed still in awe of the beauty she'd seen.
"She's right mate. You're honestly something else," Gwaine said shaking his head his eyes still slightly wide. Percival looked floored. Elyan was slack-jawed. Leon was wide-eyed. Lancelot looked both proud and in awe. Meilani smiled at her brother's flustered state. Arthur's eyes remained on the screen, not understanding what he was seeing. How could something he was brought up to believe as evil be so beautiful he thought. Uther looked away in a bid to forget what he'd seen, the memories it brought up were bitter and painful. Mordred wanted to look away himself but he couldn't because despite his bitter resentment and hatred, the beauty of the magic was too hard to ignore. Morgana just looked lost, she'd never seen magic behave like that before.
"It...It was nothing," Merlin said rubbing the back of his neck, a picture of modesty and slight embarrassment.
"I didn't know you still did that," Hunith said with a fond smile.
"It only happens when I'm really calm, those times are far and few in between now," Merlin sighed and Meilani ruffled his hair to cheer him up and he smiled at that. He looked to the others and saw the awed looks on their faces before he turned to Arthur only to see somewhat of the same look and he smiled slightly as he said, "I'm sorry you couldn't see the beauty in magic Sire."
"Arthur. Not Sire. Not to you," Arthur said shaking his head as he looked at the wonder standing in front of him in disbelief. How could someone so pure care for someone like him he thought? He'd killed his people countless times and yet he still stood by him, through everything. He couldn't believe he'd thought for even a second, that he was evil after seeing what he'd just seen. How could he be? It was then he realised that he hadn't. He'd been angry, yes, beyond mad, to be honest, but not at the lie itself but at the fact that it was a lie. That made a lot more sense in his head he though, well this actuallywasin his head, and now he's not making a single lick of sense. He sighed to himself, Merlin always had that effect on him. Making him question himself and everything around him.
A blindingly bright smile stretched on Merlin's face at that and the others couldn't help but reciprocate, No one could ever not smile in the face of Merlin's joy. It was too contagious.
"Gods Merlin. You're adorable. I'm keeping you," Gwaine said tugging him to himself ruffling his hair affectionately and Merlin just let out a laugh at that whilst the others rolled their eyes at Gwaine.
A sound was then heard outside the door and his smile immediately dropped as he looked at the door worriedly before his eyes flashed gold and everything around him dissipated leaving him in the dark once again and he settled back down with a forlorn sigh.
"It's sad that you have to hide something so beautiful," Gwen said with a shake of her head.
"It would have been quite the trial though. Uther will start off with, "I have judged you, Merlin Of Ealdor, guilty of..." then Merlin will obviously interrupt and say, "...making a butterfly out of thin air. My most sincerest apologies. I'd never do something so absolutely evil, so dastardly, so entirely horrible ever again. I cannot believe myself right now my lord. That butterfly could have killed you. I hope you can accept my most humble apology," Meilani said sarcastically and the cave erupted in laughter as they pictured Uther's face, well they didn't need to, he was after all sitting right there.
It showed the rays coming through the window of Merlin's room signifying the fact that it was now morning and suddenly a voice was heard, "Merlin. Merlin."
"What on earth was that?" Arthur demanded.
"Wait and see Sire...uh, I mean Arthur," Merlin amended at Arthur's pointed look.
"I have a feeling I'm going to hate those words," Arthur said with a sigh.
Merlin wakes up at the noise looking around confused before shaking it off as he gets up and enters the Physician's Chambers."I got you water. You didn't wash last nigh," Gaius said.
"Sorry," Merlin said.
"Help yourself to breakfast," Gaius said gesturing to the bowl on the table and Merlin does sitting down as he looks at the watery porridge.
"That's your breakfast?" Arthur asked looking surprised and appalled.
"Not all of us are wealthy enough to afford such hearty meals as your protruding stomach is accustomed to Arthur," Merlin said shaking his head with a small grin on his face as the others stifled their laughter whilst Arthur sent an embarrassed and indignant glare at Merlin as he said, "I amnotfat."
"If you say so Sire, though that belt might say otherwise. The poor thing is reaching the end of its tether. I doubt it'll be able to hold out much longer with the number of times I've already mutilated it with added holes," Merlin said grinning impertinently.
"Merlin," Arthur growled in annoyance as the others lost control of their laughter. He sent a betrayed glance at Gwen who promptly coughed and schooled her features but the amusement in her eyes was obvious.
"Shutting up Sire," Merlin said as he turned to the memory with an actual real smile on his face. He felt so much lighter now than he'd ever had before.
Gaius gives him a side-look before he intentionally knocks a bucket of water off the table. Merlin stands up and stops it instinctually and the water pauses midair.
"Wow. It looks so cool," Elyan said as he looked at the paused image of the water, it looked like crystals to be honest.
"It does. It's actually quite beautiful, like floating crystals," Gwen said with a smile.
Gaius gasps and they both look at each other before Merlin lets the bucket drop as if just realising what he'd done.
"It's truly instinctual for you isn't it?" Leon asked. "You looked so caught off guard with what you did like you had no intention of doing so in the first place."
"At this point in time, my magic just used to react. I've got a lot more control now than I did then. You've got to do what you've got to do to stay alive," Melrin said with a shrug and don't they all know it they thought exchanging understanding glances.
"How did you do that? Did you incant a spell in your mind?" Gaius asked.
"I don't know any spells," Merlin said shaking his head.
"So what did you do? There must be something," Gaius insisted.
"It just happens," Merlin said with a helpless shrug before he picks up a mop to clear up the water.
"Well, we better keep you out of trouble. You can help me until I find some paid work for you. Here," Gaius said as he places a small sac and bottle on the table. "Hollyhock and Feverfew for Lady Percival, and this is for Sir Olwin. He's as blind as a weevil, so warn him not to take it all at once."
"Lady what? Something you're not telling us Percy?" Gwaine asked teasingly and Percival just raises a single eyebrow at him with an amused tilt to his lips before shaking his head as the others laughed.
"Okay," Merlin said.
"And here," Gaius said handing him a plate with a sandwich on it and Merlin smiles so brightly at the sight of it as he takes it off the plate with grateful eyes.
The others smiled both amused and sad at how happy he was about something so small, but those who knew him were already used to that particular trait of his. He was the only one who you didn't have to overthink about getting presents for because you knew he'd be happy with anything, but for some reason that made them think even more because you just want it to be perfect.
"Off you go. And Merlin! I need hardly tell you that the practice of any form of enchantments will get you killed," Gaius said gravely and Merlin nods with a serious look that was so uncharacteristic for the usually happy man.
Merlin eats his sandwich as he walks down the Physician's Corridor and through the Square to deliver the medicine. He knocks on a door and a squinting old man answers.
"Erm, I brought you your medicine," Merlin said helping the man to take the drink from his hands. Sir Olwin pops the cork and starts drinking it.
"Oh, and Gaius said don't drink it all at..." Merlin said before pausing as he watched the man drain the vial and he smiles unsurely as he said, "I'm sure it's fine."
"Merlin!" Gaius said wacking him over the head as the others laughed at him.
Merlin pouted as he rubbed his head and said, "What? He's fine now isn't he?"
"That's not the point Merlin," Gaius said shaking his head at him.
"Well I assure you that there was no side effects. I went back to check just in case. He's actually pretty good company you know. He has so many stories to tell. I could honestly sit there all day just listening," Merlin said with a smile as he remembered the multiple times he'd sat with the man who told him so many stories from his youth.
"I'd never seen him smile so much as he does now," Gwen said with a smile.
"And that man can sure hold his ale," Gwaine said with a smirk as he remembered the many times he'd sat in on Merlin's many conversations with the man. They'd had a lot of fun.