"God, do you remember when you had me break up with that girl for you and she wouldn't stop crying?" Hannah said with a laugh as she and Christie sat post-dinner on her living room sofa. It wasn't the Saturday night they had planned, but it was still nice. Cora was thankfully a good sleeper and had gone down before their takeaway arrived, so they hopefully had the rest of the evening together largely uninterrupted. "What was her name…"
Christie took a gulp of his wine before leaning forward and placing the glass on the coffee table. "Claire."
"Right, Claire! One of your many blondes," Hannah scoffed as she subconsciously mirrored him and put her own wine glass down. "You always did go for blondes…"
"Not true," Christie countered, reaching out to bring her face closer before leaning in and brushing his nose against hers, speaking the next words so close that Hannah felt the warmth of his breath tickle her lips. "I fell in love with you when you were a brunette, remember?"
They kissed briefly but soundly and Hannah smiled when Christie pulled away. "You know, I think about going back to being a brunette sometimes."
"You should do it," he encouraged, pushing a strand of her fringe to the side.
"But maybe it would be too much of a backwards step."
Christie nodded thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I'd want to go back and do things again, even if I could do them differently." He stroked his thumb absentmindedly against the exposed skin on her upper arm. "I have a great life, a great career. And I'm here, with you. And" —he moved to whisper the final part close to Hannah's face—"I get to do this," he said leaning in to kiss her.
"Hmm," she hummed contentedly as he moved away.
"I like seeing you like this," Christie told her as he brushed his fingers along the hem of Hannah's t-shirt. Dressed in an off white v-neck and a pair of grey jogging bottoms, she was fully in relaxed mode.
"Oh yeah," Hannah said in a self deprecating tone, "it's very glamorous."
"But it's you and it's real," he said, leaning in and talking close to her ear. "And I think that's very sexy."
Hannah smiled, blushing, as his lips made contact with the pulse point on her neck.
"Are you…" She struggled to get her words out, senses in overdrive with the weight of Christie's body pressed against hers and his mouth on her neck. "Are you giving me a love bite?"
"Well," he whispered close to her ear, "I said it would be like we were back in high school, and I've got to give you the full experience."
Feeling his arousal pressing between her legs, Hannah ground her body into his, electing a moan from somewhere deep inside Christie's throat. The moment was shattered however when the noise of Cora crying came through the baby monitor.
"Ugh," Christie groaned as he moved and attempted to sit up.
"I'm sorry," Hannah apologised, cringing.
"It's alright," he relented with a sigh.
"Could you get her bottle?" Hannah shouted down, already halfway up the stairs.
"Sure," Christie replied easily, finally standing and walking to the fridge.
"Just pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds," Hannah continued.
As he waited for the bottle to heat, Christie contemplated that this was exactly what he'd signed up for when he'd agreed to come back to London. To be part of Hannah's life meant being part of this, and no matter the inconvenience, it would always be worth it, to be with her as she really was. And truthfully, he liked this side of her.
Hannah had placed Cora's Moses basket in her room for the night and unbeknownst to her, Christie stood just outside the doorway - the requested baby bottle in hand - watching in wonder as she tried to soothe the fussing baby, bouncing her and cooing soothingly. After a few moments, Hannah caught a glimpse of him.
"What?" she asked of the curious way he was looking at her.
"It's just…" He shook his head before entering the room and handing her the bottle. "I've never seen you this way before. With a…baby."
Swallowing, Hannah nodded, a look that sat somewhere between sadness and regret on her face. Cora fed, she placed her back into the Moses basket and went to sit on the bed next to Christie.
"I er… I still sometimes think about it, you know," she said. "What could have been, what might have been…you and me with a baby."
"Yeah," he agreed, his voice with a tinge of melancholy.
"And I know…I know I've said it before, but…I should have told you. You deserved to know."
"I know," he said as he nodded in agreement before reaching for her hand. "But I have a fantastic life, I have you, and maybe this is how it was always meant to be, for us to find each other again, later. And truthfully," he phrased his words like a question to himself and Hannah waited as he got the courage to answer it. "You probably made the right choice. We were young…I was young. I want to believe I would've been a good father, stuck around, but…I was an idiot who would have fucked it up somehow."
Hannah shrugged, her opinion better of him than the one he currently had of himself. "Maybe you would have." She punctuated her words with a kiss. "Maybe you wouldn't."
"It's ironic," he snorted, "that now I'm finally mature enough, we're too old for that."
"I am," Hannah corrected. "You aren't. If that's something you still want, children, I…I don't want to stop you."
"Hannah, it's OK, I've made peace with it."
"You could meet someone else, someone younger, someone who can give you that…" Frowning, she looked down for a second, making eye contact with Christie again when a thought struck her. "That person you were with in New York - the woman - she was younger than you, right? You could have had that with her."
"But I don't want that with her, or anyone else." He laughed a little as he reached for her hand. "It's not children I want, it's children with you, and that's not going to happen, not now. But that's alright because I love my life and I love you."
It took Hannah a moment to process his words, but once she had, she nodded and smiled. This was the honest conversation they needed to have, she realised.
"Plus, a baby, at our age?" Christie let out a small huff of a laugh. "I don't envy Nathan. And I like our life together, what it could be. A baby would get in the way of things. I think maybe it's some sort of…" He searched for the right word, finally settling on the best he could think of, even if he did feel silly saying it. "Fate that I get to be with you when I'm no longer so young or so stupid as to make the whole thing implode."
Smiling warmly, Hannah agreed. "Yeah."
"And he you never know," he said mischievously. "Maybe Liv will make you a grandmother soon."
"She better fucking not," Hannah scoffed, nudging him playfully.
"I'm going to have to cover that up with makeup for a week," she said with both amusement and mild disbelief as she examined her neck in the bathroom mirror the following morning. Fresh out of the shower, her hair hung in damp tendrils that she pushed behind her ear to examine a clearly visible, coin-like merlot hued bruise.
Christie sniggered as he brushed his teeth, rinsing out his mouth and spitting before he turned to speak to her. "C'mon, admit it, it was fun though."
Hannah blushed a little, turning to face him. "It was fun," she said with a smile as she leaned in to kiss him. "Mmm, minty."
"I'll go and start breakfast," he told her breezily as he entered the bedroom and pulled on a t-shirt and jeans. "Toast and eggs good?"
"That is very good, thank you," Hannah beamed. "You're spoiling me, I might get used to this."
"You deserve it," he told her before giving her a quick kiss, pausing to bite his lip for a second before he continued. "As far as getting used to it goes, I was thinking…"
Hannah looked at him, biting her own lip.
"I'm not…" He sighed. "I'm not saying now," he continued, holding his hands up. "Definitely not now, but I was thinking…"
"You were thinking," Hannah encouraged, taking a step towards him and taking his hand loosely in hers.
"I was thinking, maybe when you sell this place in a year or so, maybe we could pool our resources…get a place together."
Hannah nodded stoically.
"Just-just think about it," Christie offered.
"I can do that," she agreed happily.