GACHA

Kaminari bit his lip as he tapped on his phone. The roulette wheel spun in a dizzying flash of colors. "Come on, epic roll, please!"

The first slot stopped on a big orange star. Kaminari's heart leapt into his throat. "Score! Come on, daddy needs a legendary!"

The next slot came up orange. His mouth went dry. "Two. This has to be at least an epic!"

Kaminari's heart pounded. The phone shook and an ethereal glow surrounded it as the final dial slowly slid to a stop. For a moment, a third glowing orange star filled the screen. Kaminari's eyes went wide as saucers. Then the dial clicked one more time, landing on a chipped bronze star and making a sound.

"Common loot, Dave Guy," the phone said.

"Argh!" Kaminari threw his hands up. "That's my tenth roll! Now I have to pay for more!"

Sero patted his back. "Come on man, you know that's how they get you."

"But dude, it's five percent for a legendary! Surely it won't take much."

"It's five percent for each star."

"So?"

"One star is one in twenty. Two stars is one in four hundred. Getting all three is..."

Sero nodded at Kaminari, nudging him into answering the problem. Kaminari scratched his head. "Five percent?"

Sero threw his hands up. "Eight thousand! How'd you even pass the entrance exam, man?"

"So if I do it eight thousand times, I'll get one. And ten yen a spin means I'll need… at least a hundred yen. Momo!"

"Kaminari, no. That's not how probability works."

One loan provided at a generous rate of twenty percent compounded hourly later, Kaminari giggled as he bought up a thousand spins. Ten thousand sounds later, Kaminari sobbed over his mountain of Dave Guys and dumpster-themed accessories.

Kaminari sobbed into the couch cushions. "It isn't fair! Why can't I get one good roll?"

"Honestly, I think the universe hates you. Have you considered playing a game that isn't pay to win?"

"But that's too much effort! Is getting all the best stuff right away too much to ask for?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

Izuku walked by and saw the game open. "Huh. I have not sampled this form of media before. May I attempt it?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Kaminari tossed his phone at him. "Not like you could do any worse."

Izuku spun. An orange glow suffused the phone, and triumphant music played from the speakers. "Chad Guy, Pinnacle of Manliness, Legendary Drop. Congratulations! You are a valid human being, and your dad is very proud of you!"

Kaminari pried his phone out of Izuku's hands. "Yes! This is the happiest day of my life!"

"That was very easy," Izuku said. "I think I will do something more fun now. There is paint drying on that wall over there. I shall watch it."

As Kaminari drooled over his phone, the drool made his phone short out. Panicking, Kaminari bought another phone and checked his account. Chad Guy was gone.

500

This chapter has been sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends! Your dad will be very proud of you if you spend money on this product and will come back from the store with that milk.