A Sovereign Summer

by DukeBrymin

Before Harry could treat Ginny like a queen, he had to change.

8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: In Which Harry Makes the Acquaintance of Zippy, and Even More Importantly, his Mother.

When Scruffy arrived with Harry's evening meal, he found a most peculiar sight. Harry was standing, stock still, in the middle of his bedroom, arms outstretched, legs splayed and almost completely naked. His face was bright red, and the look on it was enough to curdle milk. In addition to Harry, Scruffy saw something that he had never seen before; an owl, laughing. Or at least, that was what he assumed the white owl was doing, from the rhythmic hoots and barks coming from her beak.

Scruffy was, of course, extremely curious as to the cause of this singular sight, but knew his duties. He conjured the normal dining table and chair and laid out the place setting. Placing the basket on the floor, he commenced unloading it and placing the delectable meal (barbecued ribs, which Tom had recently heard of from his brother, who ran a bar in Las Vegas, Nevada, in the United States, and green beans, along with a delicious peach cobbler for dessert) on the table. This done, he turned to see what was going on.

Looking more closely, he saw a flying tape measure, zipping around the inadequately-clad form of Harry Potter, extending to measure body parts, then whistling to a quill, which was poised over a piece of parchment, which then wrote cryptic notes. Scruffy just stared. It had been awhile since he had seen Zippy; house elves, as a rule, don't go to Madame Malkin's to get clothing, since clothing is somewhat anathema to their role in life. But Zippy was legendary for its speed of measuring, and its less than adequate regard for modesty, dignity, and personal space.

As he watched, Zippy whistled out what was probably its last measurement, then flew itself back over to the parchment. The quill finished marking its notes, then the parchment wrapped the quill up in itself and attached itself to the measuring tape. The beautiful white owl, recognizing its cue, flew over with a bag, holding it open for the implements to jump into, then soared out the window, with one last hoot of laughter.

Scruffy looked back to Harry, who was hurriedly dressing himself, and, exercising great restraint, contented himself with saying, "It is a wonderful thing that Master Harry Potter, sir, will be getting new clothing." He just about managed to keep his cool, but a snort escaped him at the very end. Mortified, he snapped his fingers and disappeared, without his usual deferential offer to help in any way possible.

Harry was very grateful for this; he was embarrassed enough by the whole ordeal, and didn't feel like discussing his lack of attire with the restaurant elf.

oooooooooo

Harry would have enjoyed his meal a lot more if he hadn't been so anxious to see his mother. As it was, the only note he took of the food was to gripe that it was rather messy, and wipe his hands on the pristine white linen napkin. After polishing off a healthy portion of the peach cobbler, he cleaned up as best as his distracted mind could manage, and sat himself to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

.

.

.

And wait.

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.

.

Just as he had decided that his father had been playing one last prank on him, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Harry, my sweet boy!"

He knew that voice. It was a voice that he had previously only heard pleading in fear, but now it was full of love, peace, and happiness.

Harry slowly turned around. "Mum?" he half-asked. After all, who else could it be?

"Yes, Harry, I'm here."

Crying out in wordless happiness, Harry flung his arms around his mother, and burst into tears.

Lily, who could give Molly a run for the money when hugging children who really needed love, just held Harry, rocking him back and forth, and whispering soothing nothings into his ear "the same things, if truth were told, that she had whispered to Ginny the previous night.

Eventually the tears stopped flowing, the emotions of the situation easing somewhat, and both green-eyed Potters sat back to take stock.

Harry quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped his eyes, offering one to Lily too.

"Oh, Harry. It's so good to see you looking so much better."

And in truth, he had visibly improved over just the past few days. The quantity and quality of food that Tom had been providing him, mixed with even just the small amount of exercise Harry had started doing, had started firming up and filling out his lean body. The visits during the three previous nights had served to lighten the shadows that had lain heavily on the young man's face. And for the first time in close to a year, Harry's eyes held hope.

"Mum, is it really you?" Even after all that had happened, Harry wasn't sure he could believe his eyes.

"Yes, Harry dear, it's me. I'm here to visit with you, teach you, and most importantly of all, tell you that I love you. Were you expecting the Tooth Fairy perhaps?" she asked with a gentle smile.

"No, Mum, it's just that this has been so unbelievable. Cedric, Sirius, Dad, and now you. It's just been so wonderful, I'm afraid I'll wake up from a dream and find that none of this has ever happened."

"Oh, Harry, it's not a dream. I know it seems like that, but we're really visiting you, and you won't forget us. I'm sure you have been told, but it's so important that you live, and that you be happy, that we were given special permission to come and help you."

"Yeah, I don't really understand that. I know I have to live to beat Voldemort, but why is the rest of it so important? I mean, wouldn't it be better if I just forgot about having friends, and trained all the time so I could fight him? It just seems like that's the only way I could ever have any hope of winning."

"Harry, what did your father tell you about having love in your life?"

"That love makes me stronger."

"Right. And if that were the only reason, then it would still be important. But as your mother, I have other reasons. I don't want you to defeat Voldemort." Lily said this last as if she were sharing a great secret with Harry.

"What? You don't. . . But, isn't that my purpose in life?"

"No!" Lily stated, conviction in her face. "No! You are not just a weapon, you are a person! Your purpose in life is to live, to be happy, to spread happiness and joy. Sure, part of that is due to your being able to defeat Riddle, but that's just a small part of what you can accomplish. You are special, Harry, and not just to me. People who meet you know this. They can see the love shining in your eyes, even if you don't think you know what love is. You, who grew up in this horrible house, have so much love to give that it's vital that you be allowed to share it. But, Harry, even that isn't important to me. What's important to me is that you be happy. The rest of the world can go hang; I just want my son to have joy. And if it takes killing Voldemort and his Death Eaters to do it, then you do it!

"Unfortunately, it looks like that's exactly what it will take, although that's not all that your happiness depends on. That evil git will keep destroying things that he can't understand, and as long as he's doing that, it'll get in the way of your life. But, other people are going to teach you how to fight. I'm going to teach you how to be happy, because that's what I want."

Harry was surprised by the vehemence of his mother's response. He felt a warmth spread throughout his body as he took those words in. His mother cared more about his happiness than about him winning his fight against Voldemort! There weren't words to describe the feeling that this realization awoke in him.

Harry sniffed. "Do you. . . do you really mean that?"

"Yes, Harry, I do. I want you to be happy, and that's what I'm going to teach you, okay?"

Harry started crying again. "You're the only person who's ever said that; who's wanted me to be happy more than anything else. . ."

Lily put her arms around him again. "Well, it might be true that no one else has said that, but I can think of at least one person that would say it if she had the opportunity. . ."

Harry looked up at his mother in wry recognition. "Let me guess, Ginny Weasley?"

Lily smiled. "Of course!"

"Why does this feel like a vast conspiracy to get me together with Ginny?"

"Harry, I don't want you to think that we're pushing you towards Ginny, okay? We have seen her, and know what kind of person she is, and we, your father and I, and Sirius too, for that matter, think she's a great person, and could be a wonderful partner for you. But just because we think that, doesn't mean that you have no choice in the matter, okay? If you don't feel anything for her, and would rather try your luck with that Lavender girl, who certainly has a couple of nice things going for her, or Parvati, who's very pretty too, although her sister Padma is a little bit more suited for your intellect, or even Daphne Greengrass, then by all means, go ahead. As long as you're happy with her, we'll be happy for you."

Lily had watched Harry's face as she went through the list of other girls, and was privately amused at the complete lack of interest in any of those listed. Of course, her motherly instincts led her to believe that it was rather inevitable that Harry and Ginny should fall deeply, madly, head over heels in love with each other, but she also knew that pushing him towards the redhead would have a deleterious effect.

"You mean," Harry said sarcastically, "there isn't some sort of prophecy about me and how I have to fall in love with a redheaded seventh child? Or is it a Potter family curse that I have to fall in love with a redhead?"

Lily looked severely at her son. "Harry, don't be snarky. No, there is no prophecy, and really, the tradition of Potter men falling in love with redheads is probably honored more in its negation than in its fulfilling. I just meant that I think that in her heart, Ginny really does want you to be happy, no matter what. After all, what did she suggest you do when she fed you chocolate in the library?"

Harry, shamefaced, ducked his head. "Sorry, Mum, it's just that everybody keeps bringing her up."

"Really? I didn't mention her, you did. . ."

Harry blushed, spectacularly, as he realized that his mum had a point.

"Anyway, Harry, do you remember Ginny's asking you if you wanted to talk to someone?"

"Um, yeah, she said that we could try to find a way to talk to Sirius."

"No, before that. She asked if you wanted to talk to Cho, didn't she?"

"Oh, yeah! But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh, Harry. You have a lot to learn about girls." Seeing Harry about to interrupt, she continued, "Yes, I know your father gave you The Talk, but that's more about mechanics and making things nice for the girl, and what not to do; at least, I hope he gave you the don't do this before marriage part of The Talk, didn't he?"

Harry nodded, not keen to discuss with his mother what had been a supremely informative, yet very embarrassingly frank discussion about body parts, and methods, and other topics that he didn't even want to think about right now.

"That's what I thought," Lily said, sitting back on the bed so as to be comfortable. "Ow!" she yelled, jumping up again. "Just what kind of mattress is this? Surely Petunia could have done a better job providing you a place to sleep!"

"Well, maybe, but at least it's better than the broom cupboard," Harry responded, in a rather fatalistic tone.

"Harry, the next time Tom's delightful pub elf shows up, ask him to magic you a better mattress. Then, send Hedwig to Fithipole Fortescue's Furniture Fort and request a catalog. Order yourself a new bed. It's no wonder you don't sleep very well here. In addition to the poisonous atmosphere, you have been sleeping on the world's worst mattress!"

Harry giggled a bit at that, and Lily looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I suppose Sirius told you the joke about the mattress, right?"

Harry nodded, and tried to look penitent, but failed miserably, if the look on Lily's face was anything to go by.

"Perhaps it wasn't all bad that Sirius didn't end up raising you," Lily pondered. She held her hands out as if weighing the relative merits of two things. "On the one hand, you would have grown up safe, loved, and aware of your heritage. But on the other hand, you would have had your head stuffed with horrible jokes and terrible prank ideas." She sat there for a bit, then smiled at Harry. "Just kidding, Harry. But I'm not sad that Sirius hasn't corrupted you. He has quite the repertoire of off-color jokes that it's just as well you don't know."

Lily sat back down, avoiding the spring, and continued her discussion from before. "Now, what I meant was that Ginny was trying to help you. She thought that maybe you would feel better by talking to someone, and so suggested someone that she thought you wanted to talk to."

"But why Cho? She and I ran out of things to talk about after about five minutes, and after that we just argued!" Harry rummaged in the basket for a bottle of butterbeer, then grabbed a second and offered it to his mother.

She looked wistfully at the bottle, then at him. A look of determination came over her, and she took the bottle, opened it, and drank half of it in one long swallow. Lowering the bottle, she smiled brilliantly, and chuckled. "Did you give your father something to drink too?" she asked.

Harry said, "No, I didn't think about it. Although he ate a few biscuits, I think."

"Well, we've never really done this before, you know, visiting someone in a more solid form. Usually we can just appear in dreams, and that only on rare occasions. So, we weren't exactly sure what the rules were. I had never thought to be able to drink while I was here, but I'm rather glad that I can-it's been awhile since I've tasted butterbeer; I've quite missed it. Maybe I can talk the Powers That Be into allowing us to get some up there." Her voice trailed off into a contemplative silence. Then she shook herself, looked at Harry again, and continued the conversation.

"Well, did Ginny know that things were utterly bollixed up with Cho?"

"Um, I don't know-I never really felt like talking to anyone about her and me, especially Ginny, for some reason."

Lily smiled mysteriously, but continued. "Well, then, she was just trying to think of someone that you might like to have around. Now, how do you think she felt about offering to find Cho for you?"

Harry sat back and thought about that. He remembered quite clearly the scene in the library, and how willing Ginny had been to listen to his problems. He found he could even recall how she looked when she had mentioned Cho, and the slight pang of . . . was it sorrow? or maybe, hurt? that crossed her face. "I think it made her sad," he said in realization. "Why would she be sad about trying to help me?"

Lily looked at him, silently cursed Petunia for not allowing Harry to grow up with normal interactions with members of the fairer sex, and took it upon herself to explain. "Harry, I'm not sure," although she guessed that what she was about to say was the unvarnished truth, "but one possibility is that Ginny wanted to be the person that you wanted to talk to. She's liked you for a long time, and tried to be your friend, and one of the ways she could feel like it was working is if you sought her out for any reason. So the idea that you would choose Cho over her to talk with wasn't a nice one to contemplate. Can you see what I'm saying?"

Harry reflected on this, then said, with evident frustration in his voice, "I just wish she'd come out and say things! I mean, I am never sure what people mean when they talk around the subject. I was pretty sure Cho liked me, because she kissed me. But then, in that stupid tea shop, she started talking about all sorts of things that Hermione says didn't really mean what I thought they meant, and because I didn't understand Cho got all upset. If Ginny likes me, why doesn't she say something?" The idea gave Harry a warm, squirmy feeling in his stomach, slightly similar in character to what he had felt when he had first started noticing Cho, but much warmer, for some reason.

"Oh, Harry. Girls are taught very early not to come out and say things. That's more of a man's prerogative. Think about what would happen if a girl came up to you and told you that she liked you, and you said that you didn't like her that way. She'd be devastated, and you'd probably not be able to look at her again without both of you being embarrassed. So, rather than risk that, girls hint around at things, and give little signs. They figure that if a boy likes them, they'll recognize the signs and respond accordingly."

"You mean, they expect us to understand all that, and do the same thing back to them? That's crazy!"

"Yes, Harry, it sometimes is. And when it comes to boys who don't understand those little signals, it causes endless frustration and some heartache for the girl, who mistakenly assumes a lack of interest when it's really just missed signals."

Lily let Harry think about that for a bit, while she sipped her butterbeer. Finally Harry looked up at his mother.

"So, um. . ." and Lily could see that this was costing Harry quite a bit to voice, "do you think that Ginny might still, um, like me?" As soon as he said it, he ducked his head and examined his fingernails.

"Harry, please look at me." Lily waited until her son had raised his head. "Harry, you're a boy, you're a Gryffindor, and you're a Potter. That means that you have lots of courage and strength, otherwise you wouldn't have turned out to be the wonderful man you are now. That also means that you can take charge in this situation. I do think Ginny likes you, but she's probably decided that you're never going to like her, so she's contented herself with just being your friend. You need to take the initiative here, and let her know that you're interested. And I don't mean by doing little girly, flirty things; I mean by telling her that you like her, straight up."

Harry looked horrified. "But. . . but . . . I could never do that! She'd just laugh, or something. And. . . and what about Ron? He'd kill me for coming on to Ginny in that way! And. . . and . . . shouldn't I just, you know, kind of, maybe, spend more time with her, and she'll, like, understand?" The panic on his face made Lily chuckle.

"Breathe, dear, you don't want to pass out. Calm down. It's not really that bad. Of course you should spend more time with her. You need to get to know her better anyway, and spending time with her will help you decide for sure what you want to do. But I can pretty much guarantee that after almost four years of her trying to get your attention, it's going to take something very clear and obvious on your part to get where you want to be with her. So, think about it this summer; how you'd go about telling her you're interested. It would be nice if you could come up with something kind of romantic, but don't let that stop you, okay? Just make sure you don't wait too long. Maybe she is interested in that Dean Thomas person, and maybe she's not, but you need to let her know no matter what."

Harry sat back with a whoosh of air escaping from his lungs. He'd faced Voldemort numerous times, Death Eaters, and Dementors, but somehow, the prospect of telling the beautiful redhead about his feelings scared him more than he could ever remember being before.

Lily put an arm around her son, and pulled him close. "Harry, I promise you that you won't be sorry about this. And, if after you get to know Ginny better, you decide she's not the right one for you, you'll still be able to be friends with her. Just grab your Potter courage, and go for it."

"What do you mean, my Potter courage? You mentioned before that I was a Potter so I should have courage, but I've never heard anything about that."

"Oh, right. Well, the Potter family motto is Audaces fortuna juvat, which means Fortune favors the bold. Over the years, it's been shown that those who are daring usually get more of what they want than those who are timid. That's why we're usually sorted into Gryffindor."

"But, Mum, the Sorting Hat told me I'd be good in Slytherin before it put me in Gryffindor! Does that mean I'm not really Potter material?"

"Harry, do you remember exactly what the Sorting Hat said? Can you tell me?"

"It said something about that Slytherin would help me on the way to greatness."

"Harry, that doesn't mean it wanted to put you there. It just means that Slytherin would have been a decent alternative. The Sorting Hat is smart, and tries to let people choose. Some, like your friend Ron, or that offensive oaf Draco Malfoy, are so set on one house that the Hat doesn't even try. But you went in with a much more open mind, and it gave you some latitude in where it would place you. It never said Slytherin was the best for you, just that you would have done all right there."

Harry was rather relieved. He'd always felt somewhat bad about that, in spite of Dumbledore's reassurances that it was his choices that made him who he was. His mother's explanation made a lot of sense to him, when he finally really thought about what the Sorting Hat had actually said.

"You're right, Mum. That makes me feel a lot better, thanks." He gave her a hug, then sat back. "So, can we get on to things other than my less than spectacular love life?" The grin on his face made Lily feel a little better about having meddled as much as she had.

"Of course, dear. Now, why don't you hand me a couple of those biscuits, and get your paper and pen again, and I'll tell you what I have been thinking about, okay?"

When Harry was ready, Lily swallowed then continued. "Okay, now, Harry, the first thing is that you are getting to be a young man. Don't pull that face on me; I'm not planning on giving you The Talk again. I just wanted to point out that you're growing up, and it's time you started taking control of your life. You have a tendency to let other people influence your choices too much, and I think you'd be a lot happier if you changed that. Take, for example, your dependency on your friend, Hermione, for getting good grades."

Harry looked rather guilty at this. "But, Mum, she always does so well, and offers to help me and understands things so much better than I do. She's just so much smarter than me!"

"Come now, sweetheart, you and I both know that's not true. You have a brilliant mind, you put clues together very quickly, and have an understanding of how magic works that surpasses even Hermione's. The problem is that you've trained yourself to not do well. Isn't that right?"

Harry couldn't help but remember his primary school days, when he'd deliberately perform poorly in class so as not to get a whipping for outdoing Dudley. Reflecting on his Hogwarts years, he realized that he was still doing it. He was still deliberately underperforming, and he had a sneaking suspicion why. "I guess so. I couldn't do better than Dudley, and I'm still doing it, aren't I?"

"Yes, Harry, you are. Do you think Hermione is going to be mad at you for doing better than she does? Or perhaps Ron will be upset that scores are higher than his?"

"Well, no. At least, I hope not."

"They certainly wouldn't be very good friends if they couldn't be happy for you, would they? I mean, if they let academic standings come between you, then maybe there are other issues that should be addressed."

This talk of his friends deserting him over marks made Harry rather more nervous than he had been. "But what if they do? I don't want to lose them-"

"Oh, Harry. I think you're worrying over nothing. I don't think Hermione's that petty, and if you explain things to Ron, he shouldn't have a problem about it either. In fact, I think the only real problem he'll have is that you'll have less time to practice-"

"Quidditch," Harry interjected, wryly.

"Exactly. But that's okay, you're already the best Seeker Hogwarts has seen in ages, so practicing all the time isn't as necessary as Ron makes it out to be." Lily looked at Harry. "And tell me, how would your Ginny react to your studying harder and getting better grades, hmm?"

Harry imagined a scene where Ginny found out that Harry had outscored Hermione in, for example, Transfiguration. He could easily see the smile on her face, and the sparkle in her eyes as she congratulated him. "She'd be happy for me, wouldn't she?"

Lily just nodded.

"Okay, so, I need to work on my studies. Right?"

"Yes, that's part of it. You need to pay more attention in the important classes; you are going to drop History of Magic, Astronomy, Divination, and Potions, right?"

Harry was shocked. "Potions? But. . . but I need Potions to become an Auror, don't I?"

"Harry, you need to have a NEWT in Potions to be accepted in Auror school, normally. But there are a lot of ways to fulfill that requirement. There are always private tutors that can help you if you decide you need that, and let's face facts; that greasy git of a Potions professor will never teach you what you need to know to pass the NEWTs, will he? And besides, after you finish ridding the earth of that idiot, Voldemort, you might not even want to be an Auror, so why put yourself through that kind of torture?"

Harry thought about that. It was, perhaps, some of the best, clearest insight into his future that he'd ever heard. He had told Professor McGonagall that he wanted to be an Auror, but that was kind of a reflexive action on his part. And, fatalistically speaking, it might not even matter, depending on who won the Final Battle. Then another thought popped into his head. "I'm pretty sure Professor Dumbledore will want me to take Potions anyway."

"Harry, we're talking about making yourself the sovereign authority in your own life. Professor Dumbledore doesn't really have any type of authority over you other than as Headmaster of your school, and can't force you to take any classes you don't want to. This would be a good place to draw your line and stick to it."

"But, everyone tells me to just trust him and all that."

Lily sighed, and leaned back. "Harry, Albus Dumbledore is a good person. He tries very hard to fight evil, and he works to run Hogwarts the best he knows how. But that doesn't mean he's perfect. Has he ever done anything that you didn't particularly think was a good idea?"

"Well, yeah, lots of times. But he always tells us it's for the Greater Good, so, shouldn't I, like, trust in that?"

"Harry, the greater good is a worthwhile goal. But there are going to be, and have already been, times when the greater good goes against the good of Harry James Potter. And what did I tell you? I want you to be happy. I don't particularly care about the Greater Good, if it comes in opposition to the good of my son! And he never really specifies for whom that Greater Good is!

"Now, I'm not saying that you should just ignore the rest of the world, although occasionally we've all had thoughts of running off to Tahiti and letting the rest of creation go hang. We all have a responsibility to help out. But I want you to start taking care of yourself." She stopped for a moment, then continued. "Here's an example. Remember that Dumbledore tried to get you to learn Occlumency from Snape?"

Harry nodded fervently. "Yeah, that was just horrible. And because I couldn't, Sirius died-"

"Harry! Stop that! Sirius and you have already talked about that, right? Don't dwell on it. Rather, learn from it! Did you learn anything at all from Snape?"

"No, he just told me to clear my mind, and then attacked."

"Right, he didn't explain how to do anything at all. Do you really think he had your best interests at heart? Of course he didn't!" she said, answering her own question. "He was really just taking advantage of the opportunity to torment you. It wouldn't surprise me if he was just softening you up for Voldemort to be able to access your mind more easily."

Harry interrupted, shocked. "He's working for Voldemort? But, Dumbledore keeps telling me that I should trust him; that Snape's on the right side."

Lily responded with a shrug. "Is he working for Voldemort? I honestly don't know. He's so sneaky that all of his actions can be explained away, and we really can't tell." Her face grew hard then. "But what I am saying is to look out for yourself; it's patently obvious that Dumbledore won't do it, if it interferes with his plans. And most of the other teachers are too cowed by Dumbledore to stand against him. But I want you to be prepared to stand up for yourself. There's a few things you can do to prepare yourself for this, okay? So write these down, too. First, trust McGonagall. She'll have the courage to stand up to Dumbledore if she feels that a student is being mistreated. Tell her if things happen to you that are unfair, or that seem wrong to you. She'll believe you. It might be a good idea to invest in a pensieve. Gringotts has a service that can help you. Ask one of the goblins, maybe Griphook, to find one for you. It won't be cheap, but it'll be worth it."

Harry finished writing down these instructions, and looked up. "Yeah, Sirius told me the same things about McGonagall, and to give pensieve evidence, but didn't tell me that I could buy my own pensieve."

"Well, you can, and it might be one of the best things for you to do. Anyway, the other thing you really need to do is buy a copy of Hogwarts Rules and Regulations. There are a lot of systems put in place to protect the children, but no one seems to remember them. There are some things in there that will help you quite a bit in your plans, so it'd be good to read through it, especially the parts about house points and detentions, okay?"

Harry obediently noted this down, while thinking that perhaps it was time he read Hogwarts; a History also.

"Okay, got that. What else?"

"We still haven't finished talking about your grades, young man," his mum said, with a stern look on her face, belied by the sparkle in her eyes.

"Oh, that's right. Um, I'll write down Try to be the best student I can be, okay?"

"Do, or do not, Harry, there is no try."

Harry looked up at her blankly. Lily just shook her head and continued. "I know you can do great; I have faith in you. And maybe you can start this summer. It wouldn't do you any harm to go back and study your books, especially the Defense books. In fact, this is an official request from your mother: please do so. Get your Charms, Defense, and Transfiguration books and go over them again, starting from first year. Don't look like that, Harry-it won't take you as long as you think. But it's important to understand the lessons you've been taught already; it'll help you learn the future subjects much more easily, okay?"

Harry dutifully wrote this task down also.

Lily sighed and looked at Harry's bedside clock. "Okay, there's a few more things I want to tell you, and I want to get them out of the way so that we can move on to more fun things, okay? So, here we go. One of the reasons I want you to study harder is because I want you to find my research notes. I worked as an Unspeakable, specifically I was researching protection charms. One of those made it so that Voldemort couldn't kill you when you were a baby. There are some other ones that I invented that we didn't have the opportunity to put into practice. So, sometime soon, hopefully this summer, I want you to find our personal vault and find my research notebooks. Don't let them out of your control," she warned, "as Dumbledore will take them for his own use, and Hermione would probably never sleep again until she'd finished memorizing them all. But you, and maybe Ginny, read through them and see if you can find some that will protect you and her, okay?"

Neither one of them chose to comment on the apparently foregone conclusion that Ginny would become such a huge part of Harry's life. Lily was happy to see this.

"So, we talked about not blindly trusting Dumbledore. The best piece of advice I can give for this is to trust your own instincts. You've got a good head, use it, and try to learn to listen to your magic. It's kind of hard to learn how, and not many people believe it helps, but our magic can give us a kind of nudge in the right direction when we need to do something. If you can learn how to use that, it'll help you quite a bit in the future. And, if things work out between you and Ginny, trust her with everything. You know she just wants you to be happy. She'll stand up for you against anyone, and she'll support you in anything. Let her into your life, share everything with her, and you'll have the best ally you could ever find."

"But, what if she doesn't really want to be with me, like that?"

"She'll still support you, Harry. You two don't have to be boyfriend and girlfriend for you to be able to trust her and have her support. It'd be easier, of course, and more fun," she added with a grin, "but however your relationship is, she'll back you one hundred percent."

Harry blushed slightly, and wrote down Trust in Ginny. With great effort, he resisted the impulse to put a heart over the "i" in Ginny.

"Okay, Mum, I'll work on that."

"Good. Now, one final thing. I want you to act as if you have already beaten Voldemort, okay? I know that you have resisted planning for the future because you've never been sure that you had one. But I want you to look ahead to what's going to happen afterwards. Think about a career path, think about where you'd like to live. Think about marriage and children-I know, that's further down the road, but that doesn't mean you can't start contemplating it. If you start thinking as though you've already won, you'll feel better about yourself, and you'll be giving yourself a boost in your self-confidence, and it's rather important that you have confidence in yourself."

Harry scribbled furiously for a little bit more, then looked up expectantly.

Lily smiled and reached out her arms to him. "That's it, Harry. That's what I want you to work on. Now, come over here and let's talk about other things. I want to spend the rest of our time together helping you feel happy."

Harry smiled, then moved over to sit by his mother, her arm around him, his head resting comfortably on her shoulder. And in the few hours that they had left, he found a happiness inside himself that he had never known before. The comfort of his mother's touch, the joy that came with knowing that here was a person who would always love him, and never hurt him; these all blended together to cause a change inside of Harry. The hurt, the pain that the Dursleys had caused him throughout his years with their lack of care, lessened and ceased to have a hold on him. He found himself reveling in the physical connection that he felt with her, and starting to yearn for the same type of thing with his friends. He realized that the hugs that Mrs. Weasley gave him had a similar feel to his mother's, and the hugs that Hermione insisted on felt like he imagined a sister's would be. And he even dared think that maybe he'd be able to hug Ginny the next time he saw her. As that thought took root and started to grow, he found that it brought him great peace, and he promised himself that he would greet her with a hug and see where that took them.

As the time that mother and son had together slowly came to a close, Harry found himself crying again. He would never be able to explain how much these visits had helped him. He felt that, for the first time, there was hope for the future. He knew now, beyond doubt, that his parents and Sirius loved him, and he found within himself a new courage, a new fortitude that would help him to move forward with the new course that his life was taking. And, he realized, he'd be able to take control of that life, and go in the direction that he chose, not the one that everyone else seemed to expect for him. He threw his arms around his mother, and held on as long as possible. As the sun peeked over the horizon, she squeezed him tightly, kissed his forehead, and disappeared, saying, one last time, "I love you, Harry."