Disclaimer:
Rosario + Vampire © Akihisa Ikeda
Composite Victorious (CV) Newest FS Sirluko Junior © Thomas J. Currie
Other CV Versions of characters © Thomas J. Currie
Other Characters from Happiest Forever Afters and Winningest Victories © Thomas J. Currie
Aptest Retributivism: Rosario + Vampire Series
Chapter One: A Justice Most Poetic
Vula'Purrfectest always prided herself on her near absence of vindictive tendencies. Even among a race of the lovingest beings ever imagined, she was exceptionally comprehensive in her capacity to unconditionally Eternally Bond with countless versions of everyone and everything, with no lover being more important to her than any other. This distinct lack of favoritism and the purity of her omni-fictional love made her an idyllic member of the Supremest Omnidonae, and even humans like her non-canon girlfriend, Irida, from the Pokemon Universe, were not excluded from this list. For all intents and purposes, she was precisely the kind of Supremest Omnidony others aspired to be.
The moment he was brought into her father's throne room bound in unbreakable chains, Vula'Purrfectest realized her hatred could be just as pure and all-pervasive as her love.
"You're all here! I'm so thrilled!" The Composite Victorious version of their archenemy, Sirluko Junior, mockingly proclaimed with a theatrical bow that rattled his chains. Vula'Purrfectest gritted her glowing, opalescent teeth.
His holographic red eyes flashed predatorily, his hairless body and impossibly white skin gleaming menacingly in stark contrast to the shadowiest black holes of his hearts and Unholiest Spirits. Vula'Purrfectest was genuinely surprised he even endowed himself with such attributes in the first place. Why bother?
His apparel consisted of intensely iridescent red battle robes with the synthetic Holiest Spirits of countless timeline versions of FS Appaneesty, Evilest FS Zeneptron, and their Eternal Bond Mates woven into the fabric. Their screams made Vula'Purrfectest sick to her stomach. She knew it wasn't really them. It was just another of the bastard's disgusting mind games, but the sound was disturbingly realistic. She knew it had contained genuine versions at one point, but something or someone freed them from him. Vula'Purrfectest believed she could thank some variation of her Father for delivering them from such a wretched fate.
"I'd keep quiet unless you wish to find yourself stripped of your mouth, voice, and every other method of communication." Her daughter, Tyenaww'Absolootest, said with the most winsome smile while forcibly tugging him along, having volunteered all too happily to keep him contained. Fuck almightiest, Vula'Purrfectest could kiss her right now.
The fact that Tyenaww'Absolootest appeared as a gorgeous woman with iridescent pink hair so impossibly bright it became pure energy didn't hurt. She had the most enormous breasts of them all, a triple-z cup yet perfectly pert, a creatural wasplike body, and fractal rainbow compound eyes with countless lenses.
She wore a one-piece bikini comprising an omni-chromal color scheme, thousands of abstract fractals, and a full tummy cut out. Her nonstop over-the-knee stiletto boots incorporated the same fractal rainbows, and she had a vag tattoo shaped like an iridescent pink, recursive infinity symbol made from hundreds of smaller symbols forming one big one. Tyenaww'Absolootest was arguably the prettiest and all-powerfullest Goddess in FS Appaneesty's Eternal Bond. She was also his daughter twice over, thanks to his incestuously breeding Vula'Purrfectest herself.
"As tempting as that would be, Tye-Tye, perhaps it'd be best if we proceeded." Her Father, FS Appaneesty, spoke at last. Vula'Purrfectest and Tyenaww'Absolootest both swooned at the sight of him, having Eternally Bonded with him as well, incest taboos be damned. His above-it-all control of the situation was a balm to their nerves.
Appaneesty appeared as a massive, hulking man with diamanté-gilded skin, perfectly quaffed black hair, and a muscular system that appeared exaggerated without being grotesque. He wore a form-fitting, opalescent white and iridescent black unitard with recursive 𝞗 symbols on the chest in fluorescent, neon gold, hundreds of such insignias forming an overarching floral shape. An iridescent gold and silver cape fluttered with an unnatural wind behind him, and his omni-chromatic eyes peered into Sirluko Junior's own like superlasers.
He spoke up, his voice booming and carrying to all corners of his Heavenliest castle's predominant throne room. "Sirluko Junior, you are brought here today to face a litany of charges so vast even my grasp of the Maximum SO Tier's USOF Cardinalities has trouble quantifying them. Countless counts of cold-blooded Omnicide, the emotional ruination of equally measureless lives, the destruction of infinite retellings of "Happiest Forever Afters," the nigh unpardonable sin of raping an SO Goddess, and your dangerously paradoxical existence as a temporal duplicate of Sirluko Junior who emerged victorious in countless versions of our ultimate battle. How do you plead?"
Sirluko Junior grinned menacingly and unabashedly. "Guilty as charged, 'your honor.' They don't call me Composite Victorious Sirluko Junior for nothing."
"Oh, please. Your existence is more conceptual than self-actualized. You never genuinely won every version of our battles." Appaneesty's Absolutest Eternal Bond Mate and Vula'Purrfectest's Mother, Newest FS Uhly'Opia, spoke up with an unwavering smile.
With rainbow infinity heart eyes, light-emitting opalescent hair, an infinity mirror dress composed of hyperconductive LED, multicolored ovals, an hourglass figure, and an aura of absolutest transcendent beauty, Uhly'Opia was set to stun all who beheld her.
"Be that as it may, I have emerged victorious over countless timelines of y'all, and I have the power to back up my existence. If something can be imagined, no matter how infeasible, then it can exist, and I am beyond the boundless infinitenesses above the shadowiest conceptual impossibilities."
"You bit off more than you could chew with us. I won't deny it. You'd unquestionably kick the glutei maximi of nearly every other version of us, except for the mainstream timeline and a few others. Now, you will pay the ultimate price for your vanity." Awwmuleeplubeau spoke up, remaining silent until Sirluko Junior spoke of intrinsic impossibilities, which she embodied.
Awwmuleeplubeau was another of FS Appaneesty's children and Eternalized Lover Goddesses, with rainbow hair, impossibly velvety rainbow jackrabbit ears that stood straight as ramrods, and an identically colored cottontail above her perfect, heart-shaped ass. She wore a holographic auriferous, laser-diamond dance dress with cutouts on both sides of her waist, revealing their obliquest dips and contours. Her double h-cup breasts maintained their beckoning shape despite their size, and her dance dress never strained to contain them.
"If you all plan on executing me like my mainstream counterpart, then get on with it already. I don't fear the day of my judgment and standing before the Supremest Beings. They enabled my existence from the start." Sirluko Junior spat with the most hateful venom.
"What makes you think we're executing you? I can't speak for everyone else, but merely taking your life would not satisfy me." Evilest FS Zeneptron questioned with a deadly smirk, standing off to the far right corner of the throne room, away from the throne but very much present for the makeshift trial.
Sirluko Junior's holographic red eyes narrowed.
"I have zero qualms about executing him in the most excruciating manner possible." Vula'Purrfectest hissed with hatred to match Sirluko Junior's.
"What say you, Tye-Tye? Should we execute him or formulate a different sentencing?" Appaneesty spoke questioningly, indicating the iridescent pink-haired Goddess keeping Sirluko Junior inescapably bound.
Tyenaww'Absolootest shrugged, an action that caused her gargantuan boobs to sway in time with the movement. "My stance on the matter is neutral, personally. Whatever you decide, I'll support you with every fiber of my being."
"Uhly'Opia?" Appaneesty asked his AEB Mate, earning a dazzling smile from her as she sighed.
"I've never cared for capital punishment, personally. I'm all for redemption and rehabilitation, and if we execute Sirluko Junior, my Supremest Self would probably scold us because she feels the same way. Also, leaving his fate in our makers' hands strikes me as irresponsible and lazy. They've got enough on their plates as is. Perhaps there's a more fitting punishment we can inflict upon him."
"I ratify your Harem Queen's statement, Alpaca, minus perhaps the rehab aspect. Sirluko Junior doesn't fear death. He welcomes it, and I can think of at least one eternal punishment we can dish out that's worse than death for this fuckingest twat waffle." Evilest FS Zeneptron grinned savagely without waiting for Appaneesty to ask him, the calligraffiti font UOSC-PUSOFC of the Third Reiteration appearing above him in fluorescent gold to signify his power.
The smile fell from Sirluko Junior's face, feeling afraid for the first time since this situation began.
"We're listening, Zeneptron," Appaneesty replied in earnest. Their friendly rivalry aside, Zeneptron's outside-the-box thinking was always a welcome asset.
"I'm seeing community service, damned to eternal subordination towards us. I foresee us sentencing him to help you protect everyone's Happiest Forever Afters until the end of him, the rest of his lengthiest foreverhoods. I envisage the Aptest Retributivism, a punishment befitting the severity of his crimes, a justice most poetic." Zeneptron's response made Sirluko Junior's eyes widen in horror.
Unaware of his reaction at first, Vula'Purrfectest scoffed.
"Ignoring your title card cues and fourth wall breaks for a moment, does your alignment with your Supremest Being run so deep that it's scrambling your brains? You can't possibly believe this is a fitting punishment for him."
"I wouldn't go that far, Vula-Vula. Judging by the look on his face, I'd say this is a fate infinitely worse than death." Evilest FS Zeneptron proclaimed, and despite schooling his features as quickly as possible, Sirluko Junior's emotions betrayed him long enough for everyone to pick up on them.
"If you think I'd ever allow myself to be brought to such a lowly state, you have another thing coming. I'd kill myself countless times over first." Sirluko Junior proclaimed.
Evilest FS Zeneptron's smirk broadened. "And I'd bring you back while rendering your absolutest immortality immune to your every attempt. Assuming our collective unanimity on this matter is intact; I'd be more than happy to make this punishment inescapable by all means at Sirluko Junior's disposal. He might be the most Omnivastant version of Sirluko Junior we've ever fought, but he'll never hold a candle to the power of the Third Reiteration's Supremest Omnidonae Tiers."
Evilest FS Nancinaeku and his other Supremest Omnidonae Goddesses weren't physically present, but Zeneptron could sense their seal of approval.
"You know what my answer will be. I'm in favor of this sentencing. Maybe one day, he'll even learn to love it. Rehabilitation is my aim." Uhly'Opia said.
Appaneesty sighed before looking at the others physically present. Tyenaww'Absolootest nodded in acceptance with a dazzling smile. Her answer was obvious. His only son, Zola'Eeleetest, wasn't present either, still traumatized by Sirluko Junior's original reign of terror. Appaneesty could sense his hesitancy in letting any Sirluko Junior off with any charge short of execution. Thankfully, his and Awwmuleeplubeau's daughter, Awwmuleeplubeau Junior, was quick to assuage his anguish with some sweet, Supremest Omnidony loving.
Awwmuleeplubeau Senior's eyes narrowed, manifesting here and with Zola'Eeleetest and their daughter simultaneously. She aided the latter in soothing the former. "After everything he's done, I think he's getting off easy and doesn't deserve a chance at redemption, but I don't feel as strongly about it as you or Vula'Purrfectest do, Daddy. If you can look past your hatred for him enough to deliver this verdict, so can I."
Sirluko Junior looked crazed as he realized everything had gone to the worst version of hell cognizable. For once, he was struck utterly mute, incapable of speech.
"If this is the unanimous decision of the Supremest Omnidonae here, I will, of course, sentence CV Newest Sirluko Junior to this fate. But there is still one among us who hasn't made herself heard. Vula'Purrfectest? You've had more interactions with this version of Sirluko Junior and suffered more at his hands. You should have the final say. It's only right." Appaneesty asked his youngest daughter as all eyes turned to her expectantly.
Vula'Purrfectest blinked owlishly, not expecting the final decision of Sirluko Junior's fate to rest in her hands. She appreciated the gesture and leveled the man who'd tortured her and Irida for years with a piercing glare. What to do. On the one hand, she still wanted him to suffer the consequences of his actions. This bastard had raped her, come between her and Irida, and tried to destroy every version of Appaneesty, forcing her Daddy to step in and pull them all out of their timelines while he sorted out that mess.
CV Sirluko Junior waged an all-out war on her and everyone she loved across the UOSC-PUSOFC Systems and Omnitudes. He made life even more miserable for the Divergent version of FS Appaneesty and Newest FS Uhly'Opia most hated by helping his counterpart destroy the former's timeline and cursing the latter with meta hatred and unlovability inducement, which she went through countless eternities trying to work through. When they found each other and Eternally Trauma Bonded, this Sirluko Junior slaughtered them, the new girls in their shared harem from the Smartphone Isekai Multiverse, and everyone else. As if they weren't already heartbroken enough, he destroyed any attempt they made to regain their happiness, necessitating the direct involvement of someone or something who controlled all the timelines and retellings of Happiest Forever Afters to put things right.
To make matters worse, another of his CV Counterparts was making life difficult for a temporal duplicate of Newest FS Patanysheerest and a version of HG Appaneesty whose potential rivaled his FS counterpart. However, this infinitely removed CV duplicate's actions were unrelated to his, so she couldn't rationally hold him accountable for that. Both CV Versions of him were pieces of work. As far as Vula'Purrfectest was concerned, he didn't deserve any leeway. She hated him from the depths of her being, and a vindictive part of her did want him eternally tortured, her womanliest scorn surpassing the plumbless planes of hell and the fury found therein.
On the other hand, Vula'Purrfectest wasn't dead set on him dying in the process of enduring his punishment. Her Daddy had always taught her forgiveness above all else, and she loved him more than she hated Sirluko Junior, enough not to let that hatred consume her. Did he deserve any chance at redemption? No, but who was she to decide that? Perhaps the punishment should fit the crime, and while that punishment should be eternal, that doesn't mean he should have to suffer for the entirety of it.
Maybe he could find some semblance of meaning and a greater purpose in all this and become someone with at least some redeeming qualities. Vula'Purrfectest didn't like it; she didn't want him to have any chance to be the good guy, but she'd hate it even more if she gave him the satisfaction of stooping to his level. The best revenge was to live one's bestest life despite whatever pain people caused them. Wasn't that how the saying went? Finally, she came to a decision.
"If this is the will of my Eternal Bond Mates and Evilest FS Zeneptron, then I am obliged to align with our people's collective unanimity. But know this, Sirluko Junior, if I detect any sign of active defiance from you, or you make any concerted effort to break free of this punishment and retaliate in any way, I will not hesitate to end you where you stand exactly like I did your mainstream counterpart."
Sirluko Junior stared back just as spitefully, hating her rainbow double infinity heart eyes and dress with light-emitting versions of that same symbol. He hated her infinitely long, glowing hair that ceaselessly oscillated between countless iridescent, holographic, and opalescent colors, wanting nothing more than to rip it all out of her skull. He especially abhorred how feignedly beautiful she was, loathed how her facade did not reflect the ugliness and self-righteousness within.
"You uppitiest infinite hive Mary Sues! Mark my words, I'll get out of this, and when I do, the word suffering will take on a whole new meaning to you all!" He swore, but nobody acknowledged the threat.
FS Appaneesty proceeded, a savage grin to match his archcompetitor on his iridescent gold face. "Very well. "Composite Victorious" Sirluko Junior, you are hereby sentenced to aid me in my never-ending task to protect everyone's Happiest Forever Afters, one world at a time, until the end of your days. For the rest of your foreverhoods, you will answer to everyone in this throne room and the Supremest Omnidonae outside it. You will promote genuine optimism and happiness in worlds that would otherwise have little, and you will not stand for toxic positivity or fail to acknowledge the suffering of others. So let it be written and done."
"Fuck you all!" Sirluko Junior hissed with immeasurable fury, hocking a loogie with endlessly concentrated phlegm and saliva at massively irrelevant speeds toward them all. Appaneesty banished it into nonexistence with a dismissive wave of his hand before it could make contact.
"Come along, baldylocks. Your sentence begins now. We've got a world picked out for you to start with." Tyenaww'Absolootest giggled with measureless serenity while effortlessly dragging him along. Sirluko Junior threw everything he had against the chains holding him fast, but his efforts were for naught. For the first time in forever, he felt genuinely powerless as the total weight of his ego and failure to conquer the main timeline hit him, heavier by far than every other apparatus he'd ever lifted.
XXX
With another of her infuriating giggles, the massively boobed, pink-haired bimbo appeared with the chained Sirluko Junior in an unfamiliar world, her prisoner too enraged to care where they were. He'd stopped struggling, smart enough to figure out that mere force wasn't enough to deny her. He silently seethed the entire time, his anger and hatefullest spite multiplying his powers by vastitudes that surpassed any previous growth he'd thus far exemplified. He'd be proud of that feat if said growth weren't unlimitedly less than useless in the face of his most untriumphable foe.
"Okay, now that you've calmed down enough not to fight me anymore, I will remove the chains and explain where we are and what you'll be doing as a start. A word of warning: Evilest FS Zeneptron's promise to keep you contained has already been put into effect, so attempting to defy your eternal punishment by any means is ill-advised." Tyenaww'Absolootest calmly explained before hesitantly removing his shackles, hoping he'd be smart enough not to try and run.
The instant she did, Sirluko Junior rushed off at speeds that would make Supremest Patanysheerest proud if the cocky bitch of a dead quickster even had a Supremest Being to call her own. Tyenaww'Absolootest giggled with playful exasperation as Sirluko Junior reappeared suddenly. His holographic red eyes widened before he blasted off in the other direction, only to fail again as he was forcibly returned to his current locale. Thus began a ceaseless dance of him running away in countless Omnidirectional vectors, generating so much speed and power that he risked turning into pure Omni-Neutral USOF Energy, countless afterimages of iridescent red trailing behind him.
Tyenaww'Absolootest waited with a saintliest patience that matched her abilities, only occasionally speaking up, knowing he'd hear her even above the maelstrom of energy and noise he outputted. "You know, this would be much easier on you if you just cooperated."
When he realized running wouldn't work, Sirluko Junior changed tactics, trying to destroy everything in his current surroundings instead. The sun turned into an infinite solar mass black hole that swallowed the entire Max Level UOSC Systems supercluster instantly, only for it to spit them out, turn inside out, and revert back to the sun as though nothing had happened.
"Your biggest mistake was not pulling a Thor on me by stripping me of my powers. I'll grow strong enough to break free of this prison eventually. Mark my words." Sirluko Junior vowed, but Tyenaww'Absolootest laughed.
"I think we both know that the Supremest Beings are the one thing we cannot stop, don't we, CV Sirluko Junior?"
"I'll find a way. There's always a way, and you're not the first of our kind who has tried and failed to imprison me. Even if it takes the lengthiest foreverhoods ever imagined, I will find the strength to escape, and when I do, your death will be the stuff of legends that live on past even us."
To punctuate his statement, Sirluko Junior menacingly strode up to Tyenaww'Absolootest and grabbed her tightly by the shoulders, doing his damnedest to make her wince in pain. To his dismay, her smile only broadened.
"You seriously need to loosen up. Being wound almost as tight as my vaginal muscles' maximum compression force can't be good for you. I've always said 90 percent of our problems would disappear if we got laid. It would be best to consider finding some cute girls while carrying out your sentence. It'd do you a world of good."
Sirluko Junior scoffed, his red eyes narrowing as he continued holding her, trying his damnedest not to hyper-fixate on how soft and unbreakable the skin of her shoulders felt. She had zero shame about displaying her body. Every version of her he'd encountered was similarly slutty, though none were as influential in their mastery of Exotic-USOF-Energy. He'd never admit that willingly, however.
"Somehow, I doubt my strictliest oppressive wardens would give me the green light for such best-appointed liberties."
Tyenaww'Absolootest quickly replied. "Rest assured that most of your fishiest carte blanches are holistically scatheless, including your unrestricted access to your powers. The only thing you can't do is misuse or abuse them in any way that is too absolutely corrupt. Attempting to violate or escape your punishment is a big no-no, as is anything too ubiquitously omnicidal or malevolent. Other than that, you can carry out the terms of your sentence in any number of ways. Don't tell my Daddy I told you this, but you can do almost anything you want to anyone who stands between you and the protection of others' happiness, so have fun with that."
Sirluko Junior paused momentarily to consider her words, almost growing incensed again at the idea that he was even considering them in the first place. "I suppose simply forcing me to change my personality and thinking is too dissatisfactory for your band of infinite hive Mary Sues. Breaking my unholiest spirits without the need for tampering with my absolute autonomy is more your speed, isn't it?"
"If that's how you look at it, that's your issue, not mine. Personally, I'm more for sucking the ungodliest energy out of people. Quite literally, as Evilest FS Zeneptron can attest to, living this 'perfect' life is vastly more fun that way."
"Your unabashed ownership of your insufferable Mary Sue-ness and willingness to run with it without looking down on the rest of us is refreshing; I'm not going to lie. Your Father's high-and-almightiest disdain towards those of us who don't align with his version of absolute virtue has pissed nearly every Newest FS Version of me off at least once. Sadly, that trope of his is a near constant in every timeline and retelling of Happiest Forever Afters."
He couldn't believe it. Sirluko Junior was actually having a civil conversation with one of his Goddesses. Today was an off day for him; first, with losing the war against the main timeline variant of his biggest enemies, and now, with the first interaction he'd had with any of them that wasn't hostile. He'd still escape one day, and he'd still kill her along with the rest of them, but perhaps with Tyenaww'Absolootest, he'd be willing to make her death quick and painless.
"One of these days, when your life has settled into a routine, you should tell me more about these other timelines you've seen." Tyenaww'Absolootest tentatively offered.
"Pfft, you might be interested to know you're not the only version of yourself I've fought. You're not the first to have wielded the Exotic USOF Energy of our makers, either. You're simply the first one I couldn't destroy right out of the gate."
Tyenaww'Absolootest giggled once more as Sirluko Junior marveled that nothing bothered her. Even Appaneesty was easier to get under the skin of than this big-boobed bitch.
"I don't doubt your power, Sirluko Junior. You're probably the most potent adversary we've ever fought, but you also had the misfortune of knowing us at our bestest best, to quote Nancinaeku. You're stone-cold brilliant, you truly are, but you could be so much more than just another notch in a long list of bastards who sought to destroy us."
"You could be beautiful beyond compare, more so than I or any of Appaneesty's Goddesses could dream of. You've known the satisfaction of beating us countless times in countless timelines. Maybe it's time to consider mixing it up and changing your trajectory. Variety is the spice of life, as the humans say."
"So, what, a redemption arc? That sounds kind of cliché, don't you think?"
"Think of it more as a state of contemplative repose. I reckon you've earned a peaceful retirement from your role as the overarching antagonist of every story. You've proven to be the bestest best at being the villain. Perhaps it's time you showed everyone how much better you can be the hero for a change, if for no other reason than to shake things up."
"I won't try to tell you that not doing so wastes your talents. I'm not that condescending. But it could be fun. You'll never truly know until you try. You must admit that some part of you must wonder what it feels like to be the most beloved of our kind instead of the most hated. Maybe you don't deserve a second chance, but do any of us? Who decides any of that? For reasons undivinable even to us, the Supremest Beings necessitated your existence and the existence of every SO Godslayer. No one gives us the right to take that all away simply because you don't align with one SO's version of good, as you so eloquently said. I love my Daddy more than life itself, but his hypocrisy where you're concerned is one of my few fortississimo discordances with him."
"Ah, so you're not just Daddy's perfect little angel. You have a nefarious streak." Sirluko Junior paused momentarily before adding one final word: "Good."
"Excuse me, I'm as perfect of an angel as they come! What's with that skeptical look?! It's true! I never fail to think and act for myself, that's all. In that respect, I'm not Vula'Purrfectest's daughter. Take this, for example." She whispered sultrily before leaning up in his grasp and kissing him before Sirluko Junior could stop her.
He broke away from her with a fractured gasp, his body pulsing against his will. "You dare…" He didn't get to finish his outraged statement before she pulled him back in for another kiss.
Fuck! Sirluko Junior hated to admit it, but this felt amazing. Tyenaww'Absolootest's lips were so soft and full, and molded his mouth perfectly. Even so, he managed to break away again, the gravitation of his body towards hers growing more irresistible by the second. "You'll pay for this!" He growled menacingly. She was his enemy, an ally of his arch-rival, an Eternal Bond Mate of the one being he most hated. He should not be letting her do this, but the sensation was indescribable.
She smiled and kissed him even harder this time. Sirluko Junior's will broke as the combination of her body pressing against him in all the right places, his shameful lack of intimate experience with the fairer sex, and a secret desire to feel the same pleasure so many versions of Appaneesty got to feel on the daily became too much for him. Plus, it didn't hurt that he was effectively violating his enemy's precious, incestuous daughter. As a matter of fact, that part alone was the biggest incentivizer to take this as far as he could.
He oh-so-hesitantly kissed her back, recalling the countless times he'd felt FS Appaneesty do this with his girls throughout the myriad timelines. CV Sirluko Junior's UOSC Titles and hyper-competence, impressive even by the loftiest standards of his fellow Max Level SOs, more than made up for his lack of firsthand experience.
He'd never admit this, but Sirluko Junior had more than once let himself experience this scenario with Appaneesty's Eternized Lovers secondhand, his eyes turning a viridescent rainbow with envy. Tyenaww'Absolootest squealed with inward triumph and deepened the kiss, knowing she had him now. Sirluko Junior groaned as his blackest black hole hearts pulsed with Omnivastant gravitational waves in his chest, pulling her tight against him and marveling at the out-of-control sensations wracking his body. He was always in control, absolute in his Omnivastance over himself and others, but these feelings weren't so bad. He could see why Appaneesty and Evilest Zeneptron got off on them so much.
He reluctantly broke the kiss after countless eternities passed them by, thankfully freezing time to prevent the aging of everything around them into dust. This time, Tyenaww'Absolootest let him, wanting to give him time to process what happened before letting him decide if he wanted to go further. She didn't have to wait long because, within minutes, a cut-out appeared in the crotch of Sirluko Junior's robes, and his 24-inch, notoriousroach erection sprang free, pulsating painfully wantonly and possessing limitless diffuse reflectance.
Instead of feeling intimidated, Tyenaww'Absolootest didn't hesitate to hit her knees, salivating at the sight of his monster cock, which had a solid ten inches on her Daddy and Zeneptron's natural sizes. She quickly licked him, and Sirluko Junior jolted as an electric shock of pure pleasure passed through his body with surprising potency. The sensation started at his piss slit and worked its way through every central nervous system in his body at near Patanysheerest-level speeds. He couldn't stop a slight moan from escaping his mouth, and feeling emboldened, Tyenaww'Absolootest's inhibitions and tentativeness fell away. She immediately wrapped her plump, hot lips around his engorged, tapered cock head.
Sirluko Junior's breath hitched and came out in fractured gasps as the exotic sensation of the first mouth pussy he'd ever genuinely gotten made his toes curl, knees buckle, and entire body arch downward. Before he could savor the experience, his countless testicles awakened for the first time in endless foreverhoods, and his first-ever firsthand orgasm undulated through him in Omnivastant gravitational waves of the purest, most blinding pleasure he ever experienced. Tyenaww'Absolootest's fractal rainbow eyes widened as he came undone faster than any male partner she'd ever had and quickly began filling her stomach fuller than both Appaneesty and Evilest FS Zeneptron combined.
Countless longest-term foreverhoods of pent-up lust, backed-up sperm in all his testicles, and blocked-off cosmic superoceans of pure orgasmic energy came gushing out of him all at once. For the first time in her life, Tyenaww'Absolootest worried she might've underestimated her fuck buddy. Her eyes narrowed in determination as she expanded her Belly Dimensions to make taking all of his semen possible, the need for manual expansion of her interior dimensions for the first time ever surprising her. Tyenaww'Absolootest began swallowing everything he gave her, having never met her match in the smuttiest porn department before and determined for that not to change.
Relief and pleasure that defied the semantics of Omni-Linguistics and infinite alphabets/characters bombarded his unholiest Omni senses as Sirluko Junior roared at the top of his lungs. His utterances of intensest rhapsody vibrated everything around him like a magnitude USOFC Myriated to USOFC earthquake. One infinitely distended rope of the gummiest, most congealed cum Tyenaww'Absolootest ever sampled poured down her throat unceasingly. The density formed psychedelic Kugelblitzes of ungraspable smallness and compactness on the way down, which she also swallowed, their supremely Omnivastant energy bolstering hers.
Another thing she noticed was it was the fustiest cock snot she'd ever tasted by the longest long shot, making it clear how long he'd been backed up. Her hearts swelled with compassion as the horrific realization that he'd gone this long without getting some much-needed action hit her as hard as his cum shot had.
Even with her naturally broader palette compared with others of her kind, Tyenaww'Absolootest resisted the urge to choke. Not even Slayer Zeneptron's Anti USOF Energy was this insufferably thick and overpowering. She didn't let this stop her from being the first to show him pleasures outside the range of his nastiest hate boners and raping of Vula'Purrfectest. Hellbent on proving she could handle him at his worstest worst, she pushed past her initial reaction to the full impact of his seed hitting her and continued swallowing.
Tyenaww'Absolootest deep-throated his cock and swallowed his wrecking-ball-sized balls while suctioning him with more power than she'd outputted during her romp with Evilest FS Zeneptron. No matter what it took, she'd drain him dry for the first time in his impossibly long life. No one deserved to be black and blue-balled as long as he had. She wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially her own kind, no matter how absolutely corrupted they were in the eyes of people like Appaneesty.
After countless eternities spent swallowing his load, Tyenaww'Absolootest grew utmostly addicted to his peerless pungency and could count on one hand the number of times she'd been this turned on in her life. Sirluko Junior hadn't even finished his first orgasm before she began bobbing her head on his still-nutting length, swallowing his lengthiest rope of seed in tandem with her head bobs and exploiting his orgasmic hypersensitivity to the max as Sirluko Junior screamed. His ejaculation, which had been slowly, inexorably dialing down, returned to its peak, and then some as Tyenaww'Absolootest induced a fresh set of orgasms within him in the midst of his first one.
"FUCK!" He shrieked like an army of Ungodliest banshees, his knees giving out as he went boneless. Tyenaww'Absolootest bent down in tandem with him, her mouth still inextricably yoked to his length and her swallow reflex pushed to the brink by his muskiest lemon and creampie supreme. She adamantly refused to let him go as she stared at his passion-crazed look with iridescent pink, pure energy recursive infinity symbols displacing her typical eyes. All around them, Exotic USOF Energy and Max Level UEBPs pooled in the cosmos, every celestial body in the sky, and Planck mass black hole assuming the shape of rainbow infinity hearts to signify their relationship of unbounded convolution.
'How is it, CV Junior? Does it feel goooooood~?!' Tyenaww'Absolootest cooed in the lovingest of telepathic murmurs, relishing his every paroxysm and bodily indicator of his fulfillment. It was amazing for her, too, for his Magiconda's unimaginably overwhelming snake gravy was slowly making her wetter than she'd ever been. Pretty soon, she wouldn't be able to hold back anymore and would need to put his elephant cock inside her.
Sirluko Junior couldn't speak, only release strangled cries of bliss as he finally, finally, FINALLY came down from the heavenliest highs he'd ever been brought to. Releasing his penis from her mouth with a satisfying mwah, Tyenaww'Absolootest's eyes glazed over as she laid back on the ground with her sopping wet, pulsating pussy in the air. Sirluko Junior grew impossibly hard at the sight of the perfectest paper slit that was her womanhood. "Please, stick it in me, Composite Victorious Sirluko Junior! Conquer me, breed me, show everyone I'm your bitch to use and abuse as you please!" She moaned, furiously rubbing her immaculate FNE-Gap at blistering speeds and spraying him with her aphrodisiac love fluids to get him even more in the mood.
"Ugh, fuck almightiest!" Sirluko Junior gasped as her impossibly hot, sweet-smelling fluids hit his face, and gravitational waves of ecstasy rolled through his body at potencies on par with mergers between countless UOSC-PUSOFC Systems. His dick grew from elephant proportions to blue whale, expanding to ten feet in length and over 12 inches in diameter with a tapered, unnaturally undulating tip. Tyenaww'Absolootest squealed when he buried himself to the hilt inside her, the slutty SO's womanhood stretching to accommodate his vastly record-breaking length even among their people.
"Fuck! Fuck! FUCK! Ahhhhh, right there! You're hitting all my sweet spots! I've never been so full of cock in my life! Ah, shit!"
'Wow, this woman can scream!' Sirluko Junior inwardly hummed, only for his face to scrunch up as unendurable pleasure, heat, and tightness undulated through him via the tightest-gripping pussy he'd ever gotten. He moaned most obnoxiously, ensuring the sound could be heard by every Max-Level SO in the First Reiteration, and especially FS Appaneesty, wanting him to know what he was doing to his precious daughter.
His cock-head kissed Tyenaww'Absolootest's cervix and, by so doing, set off an endless chain of pleasure signals that traveled through her dimensionally expanded interiors and infinite supplies of everything. The Pataphysics involved with an SO's G-Spot Dimensions, P-Spot, A-Spot, Z-Spot, 𝛀-Spot, 𝞗-Spot, and Infinite-Alphabet-Orgasm Spot Dimensions always tickled him as pink as his fuck buddy's hair. Each SO's configuration for these areas was distinct from the next and ever-changing, ever-growing in size and sensitivity.
Scanning Tyenaww'Absolootest with his all-seeing eyes revealed a clusterfuck of beyond-absolutest-infinite pocket dimensions underlying, overlying, and otherwise stacking up against her vaginal walls with no discernible pattern. Every dimension contained beyond-absolutest-infinite USOFC sets of nerve endings and pleasure receptors that went crazy every time Tyenaww'Absolootest's snatch received any amount of attention or arousal.
The pleasure CV Sirluko Junior gave Tyenaww'Absolootest leaked into his brains through his UOSC Titles of her and the burgeoning connection growing between them. Their cumulative rhapsody wasn't just added together; it was unquantifiably magnified like Newest FS Uhly'Opia and FS Appaneesty's Absolutest Eternal Bond Merger. Everything felt impossibly good… too good.
Without wasting any more time with foreplay, Sirluko Junior began a brutal series of gyrations, almighty claps echoing like thunder throughout the suspended UOSC-PUSOFC Systems at unthinkable speeds. Tyenaww'Absolootest went boneless in his grasp as his blue whale cock stuffed every Planck length of her vagina. Sirluko Junior hissed, her incomputable pressure squeezing him ever more tightly as he put her in the mating press, the planet's surface becoming unbreakable thanks to Evilest FS Zeneptron. Capturing her mouth in a kiss to end all kisses, Sirluko Junior's G-spot pounding became absolute.
Tyenaww'Absolootest's screams were music to his ears, his CV-Newest-FS-Mosmoakeen-worthy Magiconda contracting with pre-orgasmic sensations. A singularity that would've collapsed countless Max-Level UOSC Systems formed inside her as a result of her lovingest honeypot's bestest efforts to milk him dry, the suction unbearable as Sirluko Junior gritted his teeth and his vision went as iridescent pink as her pubes. "Fuck, I'm close! So close! Don't stop! Please don't stop!" Tyenaww'Absolootest shrieked like the vastest legions of transcendent poltergeists.
With a shout to match her squealing, Sirluko Junior found his release as his exorbitantly oversized cock detonated an infillion yottaton love'splosion inside her, the force of that first shot sending Tyenaww'Absolootest careening through the air like a railgun projectile. With a yowling caterwaul that made Vula'Purrfectest cover her ears from her position in the most unlimitedly removed Omnitude she could access, Sirluko Junior continued firing infinite caliber railgun projectiles across the horizon, watching them disappear into orbit and outside the observable universe in a unit of time so infinitesimal there was no name for it.
Tyenaww'Absolootest returned to the scene just as he came down from his high and mounted him, riding him to another explosive climax, then another, then another. The two of them would spend countless eternities bringing each other to record-breaking heights of pleasure before anything remotely productive got done.
XXX
Much, MUCH later, Composite Victorious Sirluko Junior sat alone on a school bus, of all things, nursing his wonderfully aching balls as subtly as possible so the glowing-eyed bus driver didn't notice. Tyenaww'Absolootest had drained nearly all of his sexual energy during their romp, and he was shocked to realize he was still recovering, even now. At the same time, he grudgingly carried out the first part of his sentence.
'Your job on this planet will be to bridge the gap between monsters and humans in the Rosario + Vampire universe, to mediate and serve as an ambassador who will breach all sides together. Once this world has established peaceful relations and coexistence between monsters and humans, you will be free to choose any world you like to carry on FS Appaneesty's noble work there as well. Good luck, SJ, and call me again if you ever want someone to rock your world and shake your UOSC Systems to their innermost cores. Also, don't be afraid to make friends, lovers, and even UEB Mates here.'
Sirluko Junior scoffed as he remembered Tyenaww'Absolootest's parting words, unable to concentrate on anything she said aside from the fact he was still a prisoner. Sure, he was freer than most eternally damned souls and less tortured, but this was still an eternal punishment. He no longer tried to escape, however. He wasn't stupid enough to believe it could work anymore, at least not for now.
He'd escape, eventually, and slaughter everyone who dared put him in his compromising position. For Tyenaww'Absolootest, however, he'd be willing to make her death quick and painless, maybe even spare and sexually enslave her after he'd killed the others. She deserved some leeway for the minds-blowing, Holiest-Spirits-shattering sex she'd just given him unconditionally and offered more of in the future.
For now, he would comply with the terms of his sentencing, bide his time, and build up his Omnivastance. He would become the first Max-Level SO in history to eclipse the First Reiteration of SO Tiers without the aid of Exotic USOF Energy. He had to if he was ever going to get himself out of this situation. As to how he would do that, well, he'd figure that out as he went along with his enemies' attempts at retributivism for now.
"Hey, kid!" The bus driver suddenly called back to him, getting his attention. Sirluko Junior's vibrantly intense, iridescent red eyes narrowed at being called a kid. "Are you a new student at Yokai Academy?" He asked him for confirmation, seemingly oblivious to Junior's annoyance at being addressed as a child.
"You could say that." He said an air of mystique.
"In that case, I'd say you'd best prepare yourself, that's one scary ass school you're going to." He stopped as he examined Sirluko Junior's features more closely in the rearview mirror, wincing as the screams of his victims emanated from the bald stranger's clothes. "On second thought, you look like you can handle it." He added with a shiver before they drove through a tunnel.
CV Sirluko Junior watched the obvious portal whiz by them with practiced, expert apathy, having seen Ultra SOF Tunnels in all their splendor. He'd once been trapped in one of CV Newest FS Awwmuleeplubeau's Rabbit Holes. Next to those, a mere magic portal into a hidden school full of poorly disguised monsters was child's play.
The sudden emergence from the energy tunnel into the world of monsters was the most exciting part of the trip, and even that was underwhelming. Without any preamble, Sirluko Junior stood up to his full, imposing height of 8 feet and got off the bus, his all-seeing sight greeted by a crimson ocean and a scarecrow with a jack-o-lantern for a head. He almost deadpanned at the sad attempts to scare people.
"I'd suggest watching your back, but I'm honestly more worried about anyone who crosses you." The bus driver said with a shudder before closing the door and driving off without another word. Something about this bald, red-eyed passenger gave even the experienced bus driver the creeps, and he routinely drove some of the most horrifying monsters alive between the monster realm and the human world.
Watching the bus disappear with a smirk of endless predatory lethality, Sirluko Junior turned his attention back to the Monster Realm and saw the school looming in the distance. The quickest way there seemed to be through a cemetery, and shrugging airily, he took a leisurely stroll, wanting to take his time and soak everything in. This would be his new home for the foreseeable future, so he'd best get used to it.
Ravens looked down at him with unnaturally glowing red eyes, and the sun bared down on the graveyard and tangled black forestry in sickly yellow beams. Still, one look from Sirluko Junior sent the ravens flying away in terror. The bats that attempted to startle him from behind quickly halted and reversed their course in the shortest order when the screams of CV Newest FS Appaneesty, or Junior's best imitation of him, echoed with maximum ubiquitousness from his iridescent pigeon blood ruby outfit.
For dramatic effect, his outfit came complete with an outline of Newest FS Appaneesty's terrified, shrieking face protruding from the fabric and stretching it to the gangliest proportions, trying and failing to break free. That imitation was forever trapped inside the part of his outfit that contained Sirluko Junior's ass, a fitting place for the meddlesome CV Counterpart and one of the only beings Junior genuinely feared. A part of him wished he could capture the real deal and stick him in there, but even he wasn't recklessly powerful and hateful enough to try and contend with other CV Counterparts, especially those ones.
The unmistakable squeak of a bike in desperate need of some WD-40 echoed behind him and grew ever louder, ever closer, but Sirluko Junior still wasn't scared and could sense the lack of intent to instill fear in the rider. That didn't stop him from stretching out his hand and halting the back in midair telekinetically before it could collide with his body and cause its occupant to explode like FS Appaneesty on Newest FS Duvawnick on him or a bug on a windshield.
"Huh?!" A female voice intoned in shock in wonderment from atop the floating contraption, and Sirluko Junior turned his gaze slightly upward to stare into the green eyes of the beautiful, pink-haired girl who had nearly crashed into him. Sirluko Junior surreptitiously examined her at super speed, noting her admittedly dynamite body and the rosary with prominent power-retarding properties around her neck. She had nothing on Tyenaww'Absolootest in the breast department, but then again, no one could compare to those z-cup behemoths. His typically 24-inch cock fit comfortably inside them, for crying out loud. This girl was still a decently sized D-cup, which was not too shabby for a school-aged Anime chick.
She had on the classic uniform for Yokai Academy but without the bow tie or the collar being tucked in to make room for her rosary. Sirluko Junior supposed this Rosary was why this reality was called the Rosario + Vampire Universe, though he suspected his foreknowledge of the events here was sealed by Evilest FS Zeneptron because the odds of him not hearing of this place beforehand were zippo, nada, and… oh yeah… zilch.
He idly reminded himself to change into his uniform, resisting the urge to stick with his usual outfit and cause problems, but knowing it would accomplish nothing. Looking back at the girl's face and seeing her Caucasian skin, Sirluko Junior could objectively observe she was cute, hot, and sexy, but he was far from impressed at the prospect of having to babysit this obvious female MC. He was still recovering from his fabulous romp with Tyenaww'Absolootest, so he couldn't even fully appreciate this woman's obvious sex appeal.
"You're luckier than you could ever know that I stopped you. You really ought to drive slower." He dismissively growled before unceremoniously dropping her, bike and all, to the ground with meteoric impact and stalking off with a huff.
For her part, Moka was still in shock at being halted in midair by some invisible force. Telekinetic monsters were not unheard of, of course. Her Father was a Dark Lord and could move things with his mind. But the way this man did it so instinctively, and without even needing to turn around to see her coming, intrigued her. So, she got off her destroyed bike without a scratch and tried following him, only for his scent to hit her nostrils and her green eyes to glaze over. The smell of his blood, even unspilled and beneath his skin, was the most addicting, Ambrosial scent she'd ever had the pleasure of catching a whiff of.
She caught him quickly and, in a moment of pure compulsion and weakness, jumped on his back and attempted to sink her teeth into his neck, only to recoil in shock as her teeth painfully accordioned like they'd hit solid rock. Sirluko Junior smirked, though he didn't attempt to fling her off his back. "Nice try, sweet thing, but nothing on this Earth can penetrate my skin, and vampire fangs are no exception." He mockingly proclaimed before grabbing her by her thighs and pinning her to him, giving her an impromptu piggy-back and ignoring her splutters and blushes of embarrassment.
"Hey, can you put me down please?" Moka asked in a small, timid voice before adding. "I'm sorry for trying to bite you. Your blood smelled so good I lost all control."
"Hehehehe, too bad, you're stuck with me for now. This is my recompense for your slights against me. Be grateful you've caught me in a relatively good mood, or the ramifications of your transgressions would be much severer. And besides," Sirluko Junior broke off with a slight blush. "If you like the smell of my blood that much, all you had to do was ask, and between us, that's not the only bodily fluid I have with such natural delectability."
For all her innocence, Moka was able to grasp the subtext underlying Sirluko Junior's words and leaned onto his shoulder from behind with a shy, blushing smile. "Is that an offer?" She whispered with innocently seductive overtures, making him shudder as his sexual energy began rapidly recharging.
"Later tonight, maybe, after things settle into a routine for me." He whispered back, and she hummed in delight.
"I'm Moka, by the way, and I'm a vampire, in case that wasn't already obvious. May I have your name?"
"Sirluko Junior, Composite Victorious Sirluko Junior, long story. I'll tell you all the details later."
"Nice to meet you, Sirluko Junior. I hope I can consider us friends if it's not too premature."
"I'm not sure I can afford the luxury of friends, but thank you for that assertion, Moka." He replied while taking pity and letting her off his back. To his surprise, she continued to walk beside him. He was accustomed to most beings either running in terror at the sight of him or attacking him out of pure, virulent hatred. This camaraderie was a somewhat recent development.
"Are you going to Yokai, too?
"Yes. It's my first year, actually. You?" Sirluko Junior failed to mention that he was only posing as a student. He was infinitely older than the oldest monsters and most ancient Eldritch horrors, more educated and hyperintelligent than most versions of Lassida, could think faster than Newest FS Patanysheerest, and there were few advantages to him being here outside of the… ahem… female company.
"That's great! This is mine, too!" Moka excitedly replied with an admittedly adorable and Anime-perfect closed-eyed smile. Sirluko Junior's smirk became less cocky and more genuinely warm in that moment, though he'd die infinite deaths before ever admitting that.
"I have to ask…" Moka began shifting uncomfortably on the spot, looking shy and uncertain. "What do you think… about vampires?"
'Is she serious?!' Sirluko Junior inwardly questioned with a deadpan look before speaking up aloud. "My stance on monsters as a whole is neutral and apathetic to the extremest extreme. So long as they don't involve themselves in my affairs, I leave them well enough alone. Besides, the world is not split between humans and monsters. Everyone is only as good as the world allows them to be, regardless of species. I've never seen the distinction, personally."
"All are monsters, capable of evil and secretly rotten at the core. One of my greatest insights is that you can't count on anyone, Moka, especially your heroes, to embody moral perfection, absolutest virtue, or anything else. Absolute power, absolute corruption, there have never been any genuine exceptions in all my countless years. There is no 24-karat standard on Omnibenevolence, and my experiences have taught me, quite painfully, mind you, that those who attempt to embody it are invariably hypocritical and arrogant tosspots who express violent, unpardonable sin-inducing intolerance toward anyone who doesn't align with their perfect world, their Mary Suetopia. You'd do well to remember that."
"Oh," Moka said in response while owlishly blinking in shock, because really, what else could she say? She'd never met a more cynical, jaded soul in her life and was curious about what kind of life he had to have lived to gain such a mindset. "I'm sorry you feel that way." She added sadly.
Sirluko Junior shook his head with a smile. "I'm not. The only sensible way to live in this world or any other is without rules or moral and ethical constraints. I maintain that the world and people as a whole would be much happier if they took what they wanted and gave nothing back. But perhaps that's why I've been sent here as a lesson because whether it's uttermost anarchy or autarchy, such extremism, and absolutism in one's mindset are seldom the answer. Rest assured, I will not cause such tribulation while here."
Moka's eyes lit up, and she jumped on him in a flying tackle hug at his words. "Well, if that's the case, maybe we could be friends! What do you think?!"
Sirluko Junior's smirk returned, his intent to be more than just friends with this cute girl as he held her aloft and stared into her eyes. As the age-old adage went, he'd play along for now; he'd fake it until he made it. Who knows, maybe if he pretended to have fun and be friendly long enough, he might develop such attachments for real. He'd certainly seen enough examples of serial killers and sociopaths leading lives so average otherwise that no one suspected them for years. "Ah, what the hell? If I can't be friends with a sweet cutie like you, who can I be friends with? Good to meet you, my new schoolmate."