Cooper POV
"What did you just call us?" I heard Stef ask in a manner that said - thread carefully
Looking over my shoulder to Stef, I saw how Lena placed her hand on her wife's forearm and held her back, stopping her from marching over to the guy. I was standing between Jerry and the three woman, who all looked incredibly insulted by what the man said. By the looks, his words hurt Stef and Lena more than Amy.
I kept turning my head back and forth to keep all of them in my sight. When looking towards the three woman, I saw that in the background at the camp, the kids gathered together to observe what was going on from distance. They were talking to each other, but I was too far from them to hear anything.
"Sister wives," Jerry repeated without any problem, not bothered by the tone Stef had asked that "Is that not what you are called?" He looked from Stef to Amy, back to Stef and then over to Lena as he pointed his finger between the three of them "I just thought that's the name you all go by...you know, like they say on TV as well!"
"Let me get this straight," Stef spoke slowly "The moment you see three woman together with one man, you automatically assume that all the woman must be married to the guy?" Now I finally understood what sister wives meant and why it had offended Stef and Lena so much. Both of them being lesbians and most of all – feminists. I could now clearly see what set them off so much.
"What else am I suppose to assume?" Jerry chuckled back, infuriating Stef even more. I was surprised as to how calm Lena was right now. But then again, she was probably so calm to keep Stef in her place.
"That families are having vacation together!" Stef stated back raising her arms up a little and looking over her shoulder to the camp and the kids
"Families?" Jerry questioned Stef's choice of words "I don't see any more men at the camp," he looked around the campsite "I only see Cooper!" he nodded his head towards me
When he returned his gaze back to Stef, Lena and Amy he continued "And you all look so friendly, like I would assume, all sister wives are," Jerry smiled at the three woman
"Babe, he's not worth it!" I heard Lena whisper to Stef, who had looked back at her wife with an irritated look "Let it go, babe,"
Jerry rested his hand on my shoulder blade "Cooper, my man, you are one lucky guy!"
"Stop touching me, man!" I tried to get his hand off me as quickly as possible. Just to make sure, he won't touch me again, I stepped backwards a little increasing the distance between us.
"Which one of you did he marry first?" Jerry asked curiously, when he looked back at the woman "Wait..no, don't tell me! I wanna guess!" He rubbed his hands together and put on his thinking face "Judging by the kids in the background…I would say, you - " He gestured to Lena "are his third wife, based on that little girl in the back," When he turned and pointed towards Amy "You must be the first, right? Which leaves, the spicy blonde your second wife!"
This feeling started to grown in my pit of my stomach. I started to feel the urge to punch some sense into this guy. Every time he opened his mouth, the feeling grew. The feeling must be 10 times worse for the three woman.
"Listen, you sexist dinosaur-" Stef pointed to him taking another step closer to him. I saw how Lena reached out to Stef, grabbed her hand and pulled her back a bit. Stef looked back at Lena upset that she had stopped her from tell the guy exactly what she thought of him.
"We are not married to Cooper!" Lena finally decided to try and clear the air herself as she had interrupted Stef. She slid her hand in Stef's and they interlocked their fingers. Stef glanced down to their hands and they smiled at each other.
"You don't have to lie! I see the rings, ladies!" He raised his hand up and pointed to his own ring. Stef and Lena roll their eyes and shake their heads lightly.
"I understand! I don't judge your life choices," Jerry continued "I know you are married to this man right here! Hell, I would be happy to be in his place right now," Jerry added and once again patted my shoulder
"Dude!" I shoved his hand off me "If you won't stop touching me, I'm going to punch you!" I took another step backwards
"They are married!" Amy tried to explain it to him next "To each other!" she pointed between Stef and Lena
"Well, duh...as sister wives!" Jerry said in complete ignorance, making Amy face palm. Lena and Stef shared another look, now looking amused by his ignorance.
Stef let go of her wives hand "Stef!" Lena tried to stop her wife
"Don't worry. I will be gentle," Stef assured her wife before she turned back to Jerry
She took another step closer to him, bent her arms up and clenched her hands together "I'm gonna put it very simply, because obviously you are not intelligent enough to understand it any other way,"
"You don't have to be mean," Jerry mumbled back quietly
Stef cleared her throat "Heterosexuals!" Stef stated and un-clenched her hands, but kept them raised up
For a moment I was curious as to what Stef's plan was. But then it all all got clear to me, when she showed the universal sign known for having sex with her hands. Stef had extend her right index finger and made a circle with my left hand index and thumb finger. She moved her index finger towards her other hand suggesting the action of man penetrating a woman.
"Now here comes the hard part," she mocked the guy after she stopped the hand motion
"Homosexuals or in this particular case…" Stef leaned a bit closer to him and whispered "Lesbians!" She made piece signs with both of her hands and then moved them together, till her hands were colliding, suggesting a sex position known as scissoring.
As she continued to make the moves with her hand she explained to him "My fingers represent both of the woman's legs," and then added with a smug look on her face "This is one of my favorite position with my wife. Gives us both a lot of pleasure,"
His mouth dropped open at the realization. It took him few seconds till he could stutter out "Wife?" he looked shocked "You're married to...to" his gaze traveled over Stef's shoulder to Lena, who faked a smile at him "to...her?"
"Oh! There you go!" Stef patted his shoulder "You got it!" I was pretty sure he was picturing them kissing in his mind, if not doing the dirty deed
Stef walked back to Lena, slipped her hand in hers and they walked away heading towards the kids. Amy walked off without saying anything to the guy or even giving him one last look back.
I turned to Jerry "Really – sister wives?"
"They looked so friendly...and you're the only man in the group," Jerry replied trying to make excuses, he shrugged his shoulders a little "What else was I suppose to assume,"
"Next time, don't assume!" I gave him a piece of advice before I walked away as well
"His ignorance was amazing. It's like he wasn't listening...or chose to completely ignore it," Amy said astonished, when I walked up to the group, who were now all gathered around the campfire
"You would be surprised how many people like him we have encountered," Lena replied glancing over to her wife by her left side
"Mom?" Frankie spoke up and showed with her hands the exact same gesture, that Stef had shown to the Jerry guy minute ago "What does this mean?"
The older kids all looked to one another, amused. Amy sucked her lips in, trying to hide the smile. Frankie was still so innocent, it was too sweet.
"I'm gonna leave this to you," Lena said with a smirk as she looked to her wife, who had turned to her for help
"Well…ummm..." Stef dragged out, giving herself more time to come up with an answer and explanation to Frankie
"Yeah, Stef, what does it mean?" I teased Stef a bit more, much to her annoyance
Stef narrowed her eyes at me "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"No, not really," I grinned at her
"Mom, what does it mean? Mom!" Frankie repeated louder and continued to do the hand gestured "Mom!"
"Okay!" Stef put her hand over Frankie's stopping her from showing the motion "Let's go a take a walk, honey!" she said placing her hand on Frankie's shoulder and guided her over to the river for a quiet mother-daughter talk
"Never a dull moment with us," Jude said smiling
"Let's start breakfast. We have a big day today!" Lena announced getting everyone to move on and help around the camp
Lena POV
We were back on the water again. This time, I was in the same boat with Duke and Cooper. Duke was lying in between the two seats on the boats ground, breathing heavily and loudly, because of how hot it was. We were careful to always give him enough water to drink so he could cool off.
"Did you ever thought about it?" I inquired as I continued our conversation about his situation with his family's situation
"Of course I thought about it," Cooper replied in low and quiet tone as he continued to row the boat slowly
"And?" I coaxed softly wanting to hear his thoughts and how it all went down
"Well..." Cooper glanced pass me to the boats that were behind us "To me, it never felt like, she has been missing a father figure, you know," I nodded my head back as I listened to him. I did in fact agree with what he just told. To me, Callie never seemed to lack any parent guidance. Amy was covering it all.
"She has her mom and...Amy is more than capable of being her parent," Cooper averted his gaze back to me "I'm okay with the role of her step-father. Besides, we have never been that close. We have more of a friends relationship than a father-daughter one. I'm not saying that I don't love her, I do - I love that kid. But, honestly, I don't think Callie will ever see me as her father. She was almost 17, when I started dating her mother. She was 18, when I married Amy and by that time Amy had already raised her to be the young woman that she is! It doesn't feel like anything is missing, you know. We are comfortable and happy with the way things are now,"
"What does Amy think about all of this?" I asked shifting in my seat a little and stretching my legs out over Duke
"To put it shorty, she told me to figure out what I want. I think she had asked Callie the same thing. Amy didn't want to pressure either one of us to do something we didn't want," Cooper replied
"But Callie did add your surname," I said in a manner, that suggested I wanted to hear an answer or for him to explain the situation
"I think it was more important to match it with her mom's surname," Cooper answered after thinking about it for a short moment "She didn't want to be the one with the different name any more," The name change for Callie happened early this summer, after her studies were over. For a while I thought that she waited so long, because she didn't want to deal with all of the paperwork that would be required if she changed her name mid school year.
"That's understandable. I can relate to that," I nodded my head back "Having the same surname as your kids or as your parents can make a huge difference. Before I married Stef, our kids names were Foster. Mainly because of Brandon's name. We wanted our kids to have the same surname. If we had given them mine, that would have meant that I would have to adopt Brandon, which meant for Mike's parental rights to be taken away. And for a long time, I never told Stef this, but I hated that my name didn't match our kids name. Being questioned whether or not I was their parent..." I shook my head as I remember the one time, a nurse wasn't allowing me to see Mariana, who Stef had taken to hospital, with a very high fever.
"I felt like an outsider," I admitted quietly "Like I wasn't really their parent, but only Stef was,"
"That must have been rough," Cooper said softly, after a little moment he asked "Did I understand it right. You're only Brandon's step-mother?"
"Yes. I never adopted him, because of Mike. On paper, Brandon is my step-son," I explained
"I did not know that," Cooper admitted as he raised the paddles up on the boat and let the river stream control our speed "You are as much as a parent to him as Stef or Mike is!" Cooper assured me
I smile at him kindly "I know,"
Cooper grabbed the metal bowl, which stood somewhere between the bags behind him. He leaned over the boat's side and filled the bowl with the water.
"Here, boy, drink some," He put the bowl on the floor. Duke sat up, swaying and moving the boat in the process and started to drink the water.
"Hmm, I wonder..." Cooper said quietly to himself
"What?" I tilted my head a little to the right as I studied his features
"I put this fake, but very real looking spider in Mariana's bag in which she keeps her sunscreen," Cooper had a mischief look in his eyes "It has been some 3 hours since we took off, so she should be applying a new layer of sunscreen any minu-"
"Ahhh! Oh my god...get it away from me!" Came a loud high-pitched scream from Mariana from the boat behind us. I turned around and saw Mariana, crawling to the end of the boat, on the bags, trying to get as far away from the bag, that was now in Amy's hands. Brandon took the bag from Amy and peaked a look inside.
I turned back to Cooper and saw his smirk "Are you having fun on the behalf of my daughter, Cooper?"
"Yes, yes I am," Cooper grinned back, not denying it for one second
"You have pranked or spooked all of them," I stated and then recalled all the pranks "First day it was Jesus and the toothpaste between the Oreo cookies. The first night it was Brandon and the fake snake in his sleeping bag. Next night you draw fake mustache with a black marker on Jude's face. After that it was Frankie and the scary story and now Mariana and the spider,"
"You forgot I put shaving cream in Callie's hand while she slept and tickled her nose," Cooper reminded me. He was clearly having a blast parking all of the kids.
"Do you honestly think they won't retaliate?"
"Oh, I know they will!" Cooper replied nodding his head "But this is our last day and we are only some 5 hours away from reaching our final destination. I know all of the pranks that there are. I'm prepared. They won't ever get me!" Cooper said fully confident that the kids won't get him
"I would be cautious if I were you," I gave him a fair warning, knowing all too well what the kids were capable of, especially if they all worked together
~o~o~o~
"Hallelujah!" Jesus called out raising his hands up as he stepped out of the boat. He was the first one out. Everyone else was much slower in getting out of their boats to the land.
"You made it!" Cooper's friend Ben, who worked as a bus driver and owned a mini bus, called out as he leaned off the white mini bus and came our way. He was about Mike's height and weight, mid 40ties. Ben was cleaned shaved, he had very short hair – almost bald.
"Did you ever doubt it?" Cooper questioned him as he walked towards him and shook his hand "Good to see you, Ben!"
"Good to see you all in one piece," Ben smiled at us as he came over and helped us with the boats
Ben was the one who drove us to the point, where we started our boating trip. And now few days later, he was the one who was picking us up and also driving us back home to San Diego. With his help, we didn't have to drive in three cars and we could all be in one mini-bus and chat all the way. Neither one has to drive, which can exhausting. The bus was big enough for all 10 of us, Duke and our bags, tents and sleeping bag. Of course we had pitched in and handed him some gas money and something for his troubles as well.
We had eaten the last of our food at lunch 4 hours ago. The decision was unanimously – we are stopping and In-and-out Burger in Placerville on our way back. It took some while to pack every bag in the mini bus and to drive the boats to the drop off place, the same company that we rented them in the first place. After that, our first stop was the In-and-Out Burger place.
We had ordered our hamburgers to go. Once everyone had their food, we walked to the nearest park and sat down at the picnic table to have our supper. It was also a way to stretch our legs, because for the next couple of hours we are going to be driving back to San Diego, which was a long way to go. Ben was planning on making two pit stops along the way, he had no intention to stop driving during night. He was determined to get us to San Diego by the light of dawn.
"This is so good!" Jesus exclaimed with full mouth after his first bite out of his unhealthy, greasy hamburger. He reached for his cola drink and sucked some drink through the straw before taking another huge bite out of his hamburger.
"Please, chew with your mouth closed, Jesus. And don't talk with full mouth," I scolded him lightly before taking a bite out of my hamburger
"Sorry, mama!" Jesus replied after swallowing his food
"This is such a quiet place," Stef observed looking around the park we were in "I love this town!"
"You know what this park reminds me off..." Amy spoke up and then ran her napkin over her mouth and fingers
"No, what?" Stef asked, Cooper watched them both curious
"The time, the first vacation we took together. Remember the two guys that were following us and came up to as at the park," Shivers ran down my spine just remembering that event
"Oh, right!" Stef dragged quietly
"Wait! I don't know this story. What happened exactly?" Cooper asked and both Stef and Amy went into all the details of that day three years ago. Safe to say Coopers attention was on story that was being told.
Looking back at the kids, who were all standing together at the other side of the table, I couldn't help but to notice the mischief look in their eyes. Jude had tapped on Mariana's ear and whispered something to her. Mariana's eyes had grew bigger at the information. She had leaned to Brandon and whispered something to him ear. After a little while, I saw Brandon leaning to Jesus and whispered something, most likely the same thing Mariana whispered to him. The chain of information went through them all. All the kids were informed about whatever Jude had come up with.
Neither Cooper, nor Amy, nor Stef had noticed this interaction between the kids. But I was onto them. They were up to something. Most definitely. Cooper was going to get pranked. That much was clear.
We stayed in the park a little while longer after we all had eaten. The kids threw the flying disk around. Amy and Cooper, just like me and Stef went for a little walk around the park. The kids all stayed together, so I wasn't worried. They were old enough and responsible enough to say alone without adult supervision and watch Frankie. When we got back to the mini-bus, I saw how Mariana handed a little, white plastic bag to Frankie, who took it and walked around the mini-bus out of my sight.
"What are the kids up to?" Stef asked me quietly as we were walking up to the mini-bus
"We don't have to worry about it," I assured Stef "I think they are planning a prank on Cooper,"
"Oh!" Her eyes grew a little "Well, not that surprising actually," Stef replied in a whisper before she called out to them "Hey, guys! Had a good time? Is everyone here?"
"Yeah!" Brandon called back "You are the last ones to arrive!"
When we walked around the mini-bus, we saw that everyone was standing around. Chatting. Cooper was chatting away with Ben by the front of the mini-bus. I saw how Frankie jumped in the back, holding the plastic bag that was handed her by Mariana. That went unnoticed by Cooper.
"Everyone is here?" Ben asked, when he saw us walk up
"Yes, everyone's here!" Stef confirmed
"Okay. Then lets hit the road!" Ben clapped his hands and walked around the front of mini-bus to get to his drivers seat
Cooper had reached for the door handle on the passenger seat up front. Brandon had ran up to him and put hand on the opened doors "Hey, mind if I sit in the front for the first part of the way back?" He looked over to the other kids "Jesus is irritating the hell out of me,"
"I just asked you a question!" Jesus called back sounding a little bit offended
"Yeah...like 10 stupid questions!" Brandon shouted back at him
"It wasn't a stupid question! If a tree falls in the forest where no person is around, does it make sound!"
"Yes, it fucking makes sound!" Brandon snapped back "How many freaking times do I have to tell you!"
"Brandon! Language!" I scolded him. He mouthed back sorry to me.
"How do you know that? If no one is around to hear?" Jesus asked back gesturing with his hands
Brandon turned back to Cooper "Can I?"
"Sure!" Cooper patted Brandon's shoulder and like the rest of us climbed in the backseat
After 2 minutes everyone was settled down and found their spot. Everyone had their pillows and blankets with them for a more comfortable sleeping while on the road.
Brandon was sitting in passenger seat, next to Ben. Duke laid on the floor right in front of the first row. The first row was occupied by Callie and Jude. On the seat that was on the other side of the isle, sat Jesus. Mariana and Frankie, and Cooper sat on the second row. Amy was on the lone seat on our right, but Stef and I were in the double seat in the third row.
Everyone was calm and gotten very sleepy, because of the long day, exhaustion and the fact that we all had full stomachs. I was thankful that neither one of us had to drive and we could just relax. The drive home seemed fast. I dozed off some hour after we drove out. My head was resting on Stef's shoulder, the blanket was covering my left shoulder.
Some while later, felt like about hour or two, I woke up, because I heard giggles.
Glancing to my right, I saw that Stef and Amy were both asleep. Amy's head was pressed to the pillow that was up against window. Stef's head was leaned back to the seat, her mouth was a little bit parted. Looking out the window, I saw that it was slowly getting dark.
But things got more interesting when I looked up front over the second row seats.
While Mariana was sitting in her seat, she exchanged some object with Callie as she whispered to her "Here, try this one!"
Callie grabbed whatever Mariana was handing her, sucked in her lips to suppress the laugh and reached out to Cooper's face. Frankie was standing in the isle reached out to Coopers face, just like Callie had. Jesus was kneeled on his seat, facing the back of the mini-bus, just like Frankie and Callie, he was reaching out to Coopers face. Jude, however, was simply observing the process with a huge grin on his face.
Cooper snored out and shifted a little, making all the kids pull back and hold their breath. They all waited till Cooper settled down.
"Shh!" Jesus put his finger over his lips, before he resumed doing what he did before
"What are you kids doing?" I asked in a whisper, not to wake up others
All the kids turned their heads to me and stopped doing whatever they were doing. When I saw the eye shadow in Callie's hand, the bright red lipstick in Jesus hand, but the blush in Frankie's hand - everything was clear. They were playing a prank on Cooper, putting on make up.
Their eyes darted to one another, wondering who will say something. They all looked a little bit scared that I will ruin their prank.
"You know what, never mind. Carry on!" I smiled at them and sat back in my seat and put my head back on Stef's shoulder smiling to myself about the prank the kids played on Cooper. He had it coming, though.
I had a feeling Jude came up with the idea, Brandon made sure Cooper will be sitting in the back, by asking to take the front seat, Mariana had bought the make up, because I was certain, she hadn't taken any with her on the trip, Frankie sneaked it in the mini-bus and helped Jesus and Callie execute the prank. Together they made the perfect team.
Next time I woke up, it was our first bathroom break. Ben pulled the mini-bus in a gas station to fill up on gas. Everyone piled out of the bus. The kids all went inside gas station to use the bathroom, meanwhile the adults stayed outside for a while longer. The kids and I were all aware of Cooper's make up, but Amy and Stef weren't. So when they saw him, smiling at them, with bright red lipstick, that went a little over his lip, sparkly purple eyes shadow over his left eye, but sparkly green over his right and very overdone blush, they weren't sure what they could say.
Stef and Amy both stared at him for a while, just taking in his appearance. They both were speechless for a long time.
"What?" Cooper asked observing the two woman, who were staring at him
Stef crossed her left hand over her chest, her right went up to cover her mouth, she tilted her head down and averted her look on the ground as she tried to hide the laugh "Nothing,"
"Did a hair fairy visited me?" Cooper tried to smooth his hair down
Both of them shared a look, but when they looked back at Cooper Amy said with a straight face "No, Coop, your hair is fine. You look..." Amy suppressed her laughed "...great, babe!"
When all the kids walked out of the gas station, they came up to us. Cooper wanted to walk off to gas station to use the bathroom, but Callie quickly stopped him
"Hey, lets take a group picture!" Callie said cheerfully looking around
"Can't it wait till after I use the bathroom?" Cooper questioned her
"Ben will want us to leave then. Come on, it will only take a minute!" She replied and hurried to get her camera out of the bag. A minute later she returned with her camera.
"Ben!" I called out waving at him as he was walking out the gas station with his wallet in his hand "Can you come take a picture of us, please?"
"Sure thing!" He agreed without hesitation, Callie handed him the camera and gave him some quick directions
We all stood in front of the mini-bus in two rows, so everyone could be seen. Ben raised the camera up and looked through it. But when he noticed Cooper's face, he slowly lowered it down. I think the kids were all giving him sublet, silent signs to ignore it and just take the picture. Thankfully, Ben didn't comment on Cooper's face and raised the camera back up
"Everyone smile and don't blink!" Ben called. Next second I heard the camera multiple times immortalizing the kids prank on Cooper forever