Mariana POV
August 18th
It was an early morning, when my phone buzzed loudly on the nightstand signaling me that I have received a message. Groaning, because I was woken up, I rolled on my right side, so I could reach for my phone that was on the nightstand, all while cursing whoever was texting me this early. Summer was the time, when I could sleep in. There are only few days left in this summer, before I have to return back to university and start to attend the morning classes. Right now, whoever was texting me was ruining my today plan – sleep till at least 10 AM.
Unlocking my phone I saw that I had received a text from Callie – I need to talk to you!
I rolled on my back, holding the phone up above my head I typed her a message back – Can't it wait? It's too damn early…I want to sleep in!
While I waited for her reply, I put the phone down on my chest, clenched my hands on my stomach and closed my eyes, hoping to fall back asleep. But Callie's reply came almost instantly - No, it can't wait! It's important. Please, Mari!
Ugh...fine – I replied her as I yawned.
Once again, her reply was fast – Our usual spot? Coffee shop on River street?
I put the phone on the side of the bed, while I rubbed my eyes trying to fully wake up. All of a sudden a pillow hit my face, which stunned me for a second "I'm trying to sleep here!" Frankie barked at me half-asleep in angry tone from her bed. She lowered her head back at the pillow, when I glanced to her.
"Then sleep!" I threw the pillow back at her. The pillow hit her side. Frankie grabbed the pillow and put it back in the corner, where it stood before.
"Stop texting!" she muttered angrily and turned on her other side, putting her head on the pillow that she had just put back down.
"Just go back to sleep, Frankie!" I replied now sat up in the bed. Quickly I typed back to Callie - Okay. But you are buying, for dragging me out of my bed this early in Summer!
I set the phone down on the nightstand and started to make my bed. I was fluffing up the pillow, when my phone vibrated loudly on the nightstand. When I reached for my phone, once again pillow hit me in my face. It fell down to the floor. I turned to Frankie to give her an unimpressed look. Frankie was pressed up on her right hand and was glaring at me.
"It's not my fault people text me!" I reasoned back as I bent down and picked up the pillow that was thrown at my face
"It's your phone!" Frankie replied as I set Frankie's pillow on my bed and finished making my bed "At least turn the volume and vibration off!" she muttered as she laid her head back down and pulled her blanket to her chin
"Go back to sleep," I decided not to argue with my little sister and reached for the phone to read Callie's message - Of course. 30 min?
See you there – I returned a message and walked over to the dresser to get some clothes. As quietly as I could, not to disturb Frankie, I got dressed and then went to bathroom.
Few minutes later I was dressed up and walked into the kitchen, to look for the keys to the car. Moms were both sitting at the kitchen table, drinking their morning coffee, eating breakfast and chatting about their plans for the day. Mom was dressed in her uniform as she had job today, because her vacation was over. Mama wakes up with her every morning to send her off and to make sure she has company at breakfast.
"Morning moms!" I greeted them as I was walked in
"Whoa, good morning Miss Thing," mom greeted me cheerfully and somewhat surprised "You are up early,"
"Morning, baby," Mama lowered her coffee cup down "You do know that it isn't even 9, right?"
"Yeah, I know," I said walking over to the kitchen table and taking the last of the apple slice that was on moms plate "Callie texted me. She wants to meet up,"
"Is she coming over or are you going over to her place?" Lena asked while mom was watching me, how I ate the stolen slice of apple
"Neither," I shook my head "We are going to meet up at a coffee shop," I took another bite of the apple slice "Have you see the car keys?"
"What's the rush? Why does she need to speak to you this early?" mama asked curiously while mom narrowed her eyes to glare at me
"No idea," I shrug my shoulders and briefly glanced to mom, whose eyes I still felt on me. Shortly after I returned my gaze back to mama, ignoring moms staring "She didn't say," I tossed the last of the apple in my mouth
"I think I saw the keys in the bowl," mama pointed to the island table answering my previous question
"That was my apple," Mom stated finally expressing the reason why she had been glaring at me for the past minute "You ate my apple," mom then glanced to mama and pointed to me "Mari ate my apple!"
"I will cut you another one," mama said placing a gentle hand over moms palm. I smirked at moms, before I walked over to the island table to look for the car keys. I found the keys where mama said they were.
"Bye moms!" I took the keys out from the bowl and waved at them
"Bye, baby. Drive safe. Say hi to Callie from us," moms spoke over each other
"I will," I said leaving the kitchen "Love you!" I called from the hallway. Of course, I received "Love you too!" back from both of my moms
~o~o~o~
I was not surprised that, when I arrived at the coffee shop, Callie was already sitting at the small table with two cups in front of her. Callie looked exhausted and deep in her thoughts. She had dark circles under her eyes. Right now, Callie was nursing one of the cups in both of her hands. I could tell she was nervous, because she was ripping the label of the cup in her hands. Small pieces of paper surrounded the cup.
"Hey!" I greeted, when I walked up to the table
Callie quickly snapped out of her thought and jumped up to give me a quick hug as a greeting back "Thanks for coming," she said as we both sat down at the table
"This is yours," Callie pushed one of the cup closer to me "I ordered the way you like it," she smiled at me
"Thanks. Smells good!" I felt the coffee aroma in the air. I started to drink coffee after I started university. Now, I can't start my day without one cup in the morning. During exam time, I drink more, but only during exam time, when I need to stay up and study.
I sipped the coffee before I spoke up "So...what was so important that it couldn't wait till later?"
"I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you," Callie said in a hushed voice as she leaned a bit closer to me
"If it's some juicy gossip, you know I can't promise anything," I said jokingly and lifted the cup again to my lips
"Mariana!"
"Okay, okay. I promise!" I said it so Callie would leave it alone
"I'm serious! You can't tell anything to your moms, siblings, friends and especially my family, my mom! No one else can know! This has to stay between us!" Callie insisted in a very serious tone. She looked like she had no jokes on her mind. Actually, now that I observed her closer, it seemed like she was truly desperate.
"I promise!" I repeated this time more serious and actually meaning it "Callie, you are scaring me a little. What's going on?"
Callie turned and reached into her bag, that was hanged on the chair. She dug through it, looking for something. When she found it, Callie held the object down to her lap, for now hiding it from me. The way she was looking down to me, made me fear the worse and it made my heart beat faster in my chest.
"Callie?" I encouraged her "What's going on?"
She looked up to me scared. Slowly she raised her hand up and placed a small paper on the table, white side up and slid it closer to me. I reached for it, briefly looking down to it, but then gazed back at the scared Callie, who sat opposite side of the table.
"Remember, you promised," She reminded before I turned the paper around
As I turned the paper around, my eyes widened seeing an ultrasound picture of a baby. In the corner I saw Callie's name written. My eyes darted up to Callie, who now looked petrified about my reaction
"You are pregnant!" I said out excited
Callie didn't sound excited at all "Yeah," she dragged out. I got the feeling that Callie might not be happy at all about this little human being growing inside her, so I tried to contain the excitement.
I averted my eyes back at the ultrasound as Callie started to explain "I found out yesterday. I'm about 5 weeks in. No one else beside you knows," Callie leaned closer to me and reminded me "And you can't tell anyone!"
"Don't worry. The secret is safe with me," I promised her. Callie looked grateful for that. She looked even relieved.
"Why don't you want anyone to know?" I asked a moment later not fully understanding her reason, still keeping the image between my fingers
"Because..." She leaned back and ran both of her hands over her face, once her hands fell down to her lap she finished "I'm still not 100% sure know how I feel about it! Everyone would have questions, but I wouldn't know what to tell them! It would just give me an anxiety attack!" Callie now looked like an emotional mess. I have never seen Callie looking so confused and so scared at the same time. It seemed like she was still in shock herself.
She leaned back to the table, pressed her elbows to it and put her face in her palms.
"Is Gavin the father?" I asked looking up to her
"Of course!" She replied in slightly raised voice, sounding a bit offended by my question "You know I haven't seen or gone out with anyone else since me and Gavin broke up!"
"I'm sorry...I just wanted to be completely sure..."
Callie leaning back to her chair once again all while running her hands though her hair. I set the ultrasound picture down and slid it back to her. She took it and now held in her own hands, looking down it as she sightly shook her head, like still not believing this was happening.
"Have you told him?"
"No," She answered without raising her eyes up "I haven't. I'm not sure if I should...we aren't together anymore. It's no longer his business, it's not his problem..." she trailed off and repeated quietly "We aren't together anymore,"
"But he's the baby father. Shouldn't he have the right know?"
"I don't know," Callie replied weakly and it looked like she truly didn't know. This is the first time I have seen Callie looking so lost and confused as to what to do.
"I needed to tell someone," She admitted keeping her eyes on the baby ultrasound "I couldn't tell my mom,"
"Why not?" I asked softly curious about it. Callie and Amy had amazing relationship. To me it always seemed like they could tell each other everything.
"How could I?" Callie looked up to me with tears in her eyes "Her son died. Her husband died. She had an early miscarriage few years ago..." It was news to me about Amy miscarrying, but I screwed up my face at confusion not because the news of Amy's miscarriage, but because I didn't understand, how that mattered
"What does it have to do with anything?"
"She lost her family and there was nothing she could do about it. She had no choice. None. Mom was so heartbroken…so hurt," a tear rolled down her cheek, but she never did take her eyes off me "I have a choice. I can decide this babies faith. But how can I tell her about this baby, when I'm thinking about...aborting it,"
"What?" my mouth parted at those last words
"She would never look at me the same way. I will be a monster in her eyes!"
"She won't!" I said trying to reassure her, but in my mind I was still shocked about Callie's choice on my own "She loves you!"
"She won't once I tell her," Callie wiped the tears away from her cheeks and set the ultrasound on the table. For a moment Callie stared down to the picture.
I looked at it from across the table as well. I hadn't noticed Callie looking up, but a moment later I heard Callie say "You see me as a monster as well,"
My eyes snapped up to her "No…no, I don't!"
"Yes you do," new set of tears rolled down her cheeks "I see it in your eyes. You're thinking how can I possibly be thinking about killing..." she chocked up on her words "...about killing my own baby,"
"Callie!" I reached over the table and gripped her left hand in mine "I don't see you a monster. I'm simply surprised. That's all. It's a lot to process, you know," I smiled sadly at her "I love you and nothing will ever change that. I'm here for you and I'm going to support you, no matter what you choose!"
"You mean it?" Callie asked weakly, sounding so unsure and scared
"Yes, I mean it!" Callie managed a small smile back. She looked relieved that I still got her back
"Are you completely sure, you want to do abortion?" I asked, but then quickly added "I ask because I want to hear your thoughts, not to judge or to talk you out of it!"
"I thought about it ever since I found out. Didn't close my eye for a minute because of it last night," Callie started to open up "I know it will sound bad, but...I don't want a baby. Not right now. I'm not saying that I won't want one later, but right now...I really don't want a kid! I'm not ready to be a parent!"
"That's understandable," I agreed "You're only 20. Your whole life is ahead of you,"
Callie nodded her head back "Right?" she agreed "Not to mention, that I couldn't even support the baby financially on my own. I haven't even started my job yet. It may sound a bit selfish, but I want to think about me, first. I can't wait to start my new job and build my career. If I decide to keep this baby, I won't be able to. It will put my life on hold. I'm still living at home, with my mom. Gavin and I are no longer together, which would mean, the baby would grow up in broken home, but I don't want that for a kid,"
"You don't know how Gavin will react," I pointed out carefully
"Parents got together, because the mother was knocked up," Callie stated "It would be forced...It's not right! I want my kid to have a family, not live with mother and once or twice a week see his father."
"Have you thought about giving the baby up to adoption?" I threw the idea out there just to make sure, she has thought about that option as well
"You and me both know what it's like being a foster kid and what it's like to be in the system. To wonder why your parents didn't love you enough to keep you and take care of you. I don't want that for my kid," Callie replied and I couldn't agree with her more. Sometimes I still have the abandonment issues I got because of Ana. Jesus, Jude, Callie, me and even Brandon - we all have some sort of issues, because of our birth parents. I wouldn't want my kid to suffer like that as well.
"I'm sure mom and Cooper would help you raise the baby, if you decide to keep it!"
"I don't doubt it for a second, but…it wouldn't be right to make them raise the baby, while I'm away at work and trying to build my life. I want to raise my own kid. I want my mom to be the grandmother, who spoils the kid like crazy, not the grandmother, who raises the kids!"
"Seems like you truly have thought this through," I said "Have you made an appointment yet?
"Not yet," Callie answered "I'm still…thinking it over, because I don't want to make wrong choice. But, right now, abortion seems the way to go..." We sat in silence for a little while, just thinking about all that we had disscussed
"Mari?" Callie asked, breaking the silence between us, looking right to my eyes "If I decide to go through with the abortion...would you come with me? I don't want to be alone," She asked warily, looking scared once again
I gripped her hand tighter "Of course I will!" I assured her "You are going to get through this,"
AN: So, I'm well aware of how sensitive this subject is. Generally, people are either strictly against it or support woman's choice. I know, some are probably angry with me about writing such story line, but keep in mind that it's only a story and it's only a fictional character (It's not your mom, sister, daughter, friend etc) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but ,please, keep it civil.
There are two main reasons why I decided to go this way:
1)Like always - diversity. As far as I know, there have only been stories about Callie keeping her baby, raising it with the help of her family. I want to explore how abortion affects a persons life. In my opinion, abortion is not the easy way out as some may think. As the chapter title says - there is no easy way out. No matter what a woman decides to chose - it affects her life.
2)At this moment, Callie is neither financially, nor emotional ready to raise a kid. She's barely an adult, she hasn't started her job, she's no longer in a relationship with the baby's father, she still lives at home. To conclude, she's simply not ready to be responsible for another small human being that needs a lot of attention, care and time! Because of her bad experience in foster care, she doesn't want to put her child in the system. I think, for Callie, right now, abortion makes the most sense.
Wishing you all a good day and hoping you don't hate me,
meyouthem123