AN: Warning - this chapter contains scenes of medical abortion! Please read with caution!

Callie POV

I was sitting on the front porch stairs strumming my guitar. My fingers moved over the strings effortlessly as I played the first song that I wrote for Amy. I wasn't singing the words out loud, but my lips did move as I thought about the lyrics as I played. The light breeze of wind, lightly moved my hair, but the Sun kept me warm as it shined right on me, on my bare feet. I was wearing my light grey sweatpants and a simple, dark red t-shirt on top. Knowing what I was going to go through with today, I needed to feel comfortable and free in my outfit.

I felt strangely calm. Not sure how long will that last, but for the while, I was embracing it.

Mom and Cooper were in the kitchen, eating breakfast like usually in the workday morning. Mom had taken today off to be with me, but she still sat with Cooper at breakfast to keep him company and to send him off to work. There was bacon and coffee smell in the air, but strangely I didn't crave any.

Once I heard the front doors opening, I stopped playing and looked over my shoulder. Cooper appeared in the doorway. He had a gym bag in his left.

"I'm off to work," He said closing the doors behind him

"Have a good day," I replied looking up to him

"You too!" He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, his right hand briefly resting on the back of my head

I doubt this day will classify as good – I thought to myself as I watched how he walked over to his car and got in. As he was pulling out of the driveway, Cooper waved at me. I gave a small wave back, before he drove down the street.

The second his car was out of my sight, I set my hands back on the guitar and continued to play, occupying my mind till the time comes. If Cooper left for work, it meant that it was few minute over 8 in the morning. Which meant that it was still at least 3 hours till I have to take the second round of pill to complete the medical abortion I started out yesterday.

Some minutes after Cooper left, mom came out of the house and sat down next to me on the steps. She had a cup of coffee in her hands. Mom sipped her coffee while I continued to play the guitar. We didn't speak for a while, but the silence between us was comfortable.

"Cooper will go out with his friends after work. He will stay with his co-worker tonight," Mom informed me as she looked down to her cup "It will be just the two of us," she tilted the cup a little bit, trying to see if any more drink was left. It appears there wasn't anything left, because she set the cup down next on the last porch step.

I briefly stopped playing and questioned "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No," Mom shook her head "He doesn't know."

"Good," I said as I resumed playing. The less people know, the better. This is private. I didn't want everyone to ask how I was doing, how did it went, what was it like, do I regret it etc.

"I'm not making that mistake again," Mom said quietly to herself as she looked down to her hands

"What time is it?" I asked, placing my hand over the string to silence the music

"Um," Mom looked at the watch on her left wrist "8:42. 2 hours and roughly 30 minutes till you have to take the second round of pills. What do you want to do till then?"

"Don't really feel like doing anything," I replied watching the house across the street "I want this day to be over, to be honest," I admitted as I glanced to mom, then tilted my head down to look at the floor "Would love to just fast forward through it."

Mom put her hand on my back and rubbed it soothingly "How about we watch some movie. It could take your mind of thing," she paused a little "I was thinking about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We have only seen that movie once," she suggested with a smirk

Usually 3 hours don't seem that much. But, when you are waiting for something or someone, the 3 hours can feel like a very long time. Especially the last minutes. While I don't feel anxious or nervous right now, I knew, when the times comes closer, my anxiety will grow. My fingertips were starting to hurt a little from all the playing, so I know, I won't be able to keep my mind occupied with this pastime for long. Movie and moms company will probably help pass the time till the time to take the pills comes.

"That's sounds good," I smiled at mom after I reconsidered

~o~o~o~

About 20 minutes in the second movie we watched - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith-, mom left the room to go get me the ibuprofen and anti-nausea medication.

30 minutes after the pain and anti-nausea medication was taken, mom left the room again to go get the second round of pills I had to take. While mom went to get the pills, I headed upstairs to put a pad in and then came back downstairs. Mom was sitting on the couch, waiting for me to got back down. She was holding the pills in her hands.

I walked up to the couch and sat right next to mom. My eyes on the four small pills in her palm

"Here you go," Mom said and averted her eyes down to her palm "Between your gums and teeth for 30 minutes," she reminded me as she moved her palm closer to me

"I remember," I answered as I reached for the first pill

Holding the pill between my index and thumb, I examined it. I knew there was no going back (not that I wanted to) for I have already taken the first pill yesterday. Now I just needed to follow through. I was halfway there. Even though, this was what I singed up for, I was nervous. The fact that I didn't know how my body would handle this pills and the actual abortion process of passing the embryo scared me.

Yesterday, after coming home from the appointment, I read a lot about other woman experiences about medical abortion. Each and every woman had had different experience. Some experienced mild pain, some severe, some had diarrhea or vomiting. One woman had written about, how she had an allergic reaction to the pills. I also found out one article in which a woman had written that the pills hadn't worked and she had to undergo the D&C procedure to terminate the pregnancy.

It wasn't the pain or the different side effects that scared me. It was the fact that I had no idea which side effects will affect me or how severe it will be. The unknown is scaring me. I know for sure that I will be spotting and having light bleeding for few weeks after, but other than that – nothing. If I knew what was coming, I could have prepared myself better. Now it's like going in blind in a room full of obstacles. I'm just trying to stay strong.

Mom put her free hand on my knee and rubbed it gently.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled, calming myself down, before I put the first pill behind my left cheek. After the first one was in, I added the rest. Two each side.

"30 minutes," mom looked at her watch to know the exact time I can swallow what is left of the pills "You okay?" she asked me, when I leaned back in the couch and pulled my feet up, trying to relax

"Mhmm," I hummed back gazing at the TV screen, at the paused movie, trying not to focus on the four pills that I have to let dissolve in my mouth

"Okay," Mom said softly as she patted my right hand. She reached for the remote quickly and pressed play. As she leaned back in the couch, she took my hand and brought it over to her lap, now holding it tightly and safely in both of her hands.

After a little while I started to get his chalky taste in my mouth from the pills. It wasn't disgusting, nor did it make me feel nauseous or sick, but it wasn't nothing nice either. In my experience, medicine or pills rarely has tasted good.

As the time to the 30 minutes mark came closer, mom kept looking at her watch more often. Just few short minutes before 30 minutes mark, my cheeks and tongue started to feel kind of numb. That's what happens, when you keep four pills between your teeth and cheeks.

"Swallow the rest," Mom told once the 30 minutes had passed. Thankfully, there weren't lot of the pills left. They had almost dissolved fully in my mouth, which I believe, was good sign.

"Did you put your pad in?" Mom asked in a worried tone some few minutes later as she was handing me a bottle of water. The movie was still playing in the background, but as of right now, neither mom, nor I were paying any attention to it.

I took the water bottle from her "Yes, before I put the pills in," I replied as I opened the water bottle

"Do you want to stay down here or head upstairs?" she questioned as sat down on the corner of the couch and ran her fingers through my hair around my right ear

I finished taking a sip of the water "Um..." I dragged not really knowing what I wanted. If I was upstairs, when it started I would be closer to the bathroom, which meant I wouldn't have to walk up the stairs. But I didn't feel anything, not yet at least.

"I'm fine right here for now," I said in small voice as I put the cap back on the bottle

"Does it hurt?" Mom asked her eyes darting up and down my body "Are you feeling nauseous?"

"No, I don't feel anything yet," I said hoping that maybe I will be one of the lucky ones and not have any sore of side effects from this

"If you need anything - ask!" Mom stated "Anything at all!" I nodded my head back, before averting my attention back on the movie

I was wrong.

It all started with a dull feeling in my lower abdomen about hour after I had swallowed, what was left of the pills. I could feel the pain slowly coming on. Some half an hour after the dull feeling in my abdomen appeared, came some light craps. They weren't as strong as my period cramps. But then again, I had already taken the ibuprofen, so it could be the pain was much more severe than I actually thought it was.

2 hours after I had taken the pills, I went to the bathroom the first time after taken the pills. I had this feeling that I had to pass something. By then the pain had increased and it was a bit stronger my usual period pain. On the bright side, I did not feel sick. There was some blood in my pad and as I sat on the toilet, I passed few clots. It was not the nice sight, which made me remember my doctors words about, how I am with blood. It was good that she warned me about it.

Mom knocked on the bathroom doors "Everything okay?" she sounded very concerned

I flushed the toilet and walked to the doors. When I pulled the doors open, I saw mom leaning at the wall. Her left hand was crossed over her chest, right hand was up to her face, she was biting her thumb nail.

"Anything?" she asked, her face slackened, brows lightly furrowed

"Some light bleeding and I started to pass clots," I explained, keeping her in the loop about what was happening. At the same time I was trying to ease her worry about me.

Mom leaned off the wall "I got the heating pad you asked for," she pointed to her bedroom

"Thanks," I smiled back at her weakly as I made my way to her room. Mom walked right behind me, with her hand on my shoulder blade. I laid down on my back, on moms side of the bed. It took me few seconds of moving my legs, turning my upper body to find the position in which I felt the most comfortable and in less pain. Mom climbed on the bed next to me once I had settled.

Amy placed the heating pad on my lower abdomen and kept her hand on it, to keep it still. Her eyes were filled with worry. I could tell, that all she wanted was to take the pain away from me. To make me feel better. I hate that I'm the one worrying her so much. It feels like I'm hurting her. But I can't do anything to stop her from worrying about me. It's what moms do.

"Did it hurt?" I asked, my voice small and quiet as I gazed at moms eyes. Moms eyes traveled to mine. She looked into my eyes for few seconds.

"For a short time, yes," Mom confirmed quietly, understanding that I asked her about her spontaneous abortion that she suffered few years back

She placed her palm on my forehead and gently moved her hand over my hair "This will soon be over. Just hold on, okay?" Just in the moment, I felt a moment of weakness. Tears appeared in my eyes and my chin quivered a bit. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself together. That's when I felt moms lips to my forehead.

"You will be all right, my baby!" Mom whispered to me. And I held on to those words, I believed her.

~o~o~o~

I continued to bleed lightly and pass clots for the next 3 hours. Each time I had a feeling that I had to pass a clot, I hurried to the bathroom. The pain remained the same throughout the process. If I should rate it, I would probably give it a 6. It didn't get any more severe, but it didn't dim down as well. For a short period, I did feel like I was about to get a diarrhea at one point, but the feeling passed. Thankfully. Mom supplied me with everything I needed – love and support.

I swung my legs over the bed side. Wincing in pain, I hugged my lower abdomen, when more sever and sharper pain hit me.

"Honey?" Mom instantly was by my side

"Hurts!" I got out through gritter teeth as I tried to fight the pain. I closed my eyes and tried to take some deeper breathes to ease the pain. I was slowly rocking back and forth as I sat. Mom started to rub my back. Sweat appeared on my forehead. I sat on the side of the bed for couple of minutes.

"I have to go!" I jumped up, when I felt that I had to pass something. With my left hand around my stomach, hugging myself, I hurried to the bathroom as fast as I could.

After giving a little push, I felt a lump coming out of me. It felt bigger than the clots. It felt different. I knew it was the embryo even before I looked at it. The sharp pain, that had come on 20 minutes ago, started to ease up as well.

I cleaned off a bit, pulled my pants up and looked down to the toilet.

Swallowing a lump in my throat I turned and looking down at the toilet. There was a red fleshy placenta with an amniotic sac. My eyes were glued to it for couple of seconds as I was trying to see the fetus. At six weeks is about an inch long.

"Mom!" I called, knowing that Amy was standing right outside the bathroom doors

"Yeah?" She called back instantly

"Mom!" I called again, this time in more persistent tone. She got my message. The doors opened slowly the next second and mom peaked her head in.

"I think it's over," I looked up to her, my right hand index pointing down to the toilet. Mom came up to me and looked down to check.

Her eyes were on the amniotic sac just for a second "It's over," she confirmed as she turned to me. I took a step closer and leaned into moms opened arms. I pressed my head to her chest and wrapped both of my arms tightly around mom, wanting to simply be held.

"The worst is over. Everything's all right, love!" mom sang softly as a small, soft sob escaped finally letting go of all of the emotions that I had felt during this whole process

I do not regret my decision, because I knew it was the right one for me.

I felt relieved, that I no longer was pregnant.