When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were crusty from crying most of the night. I rubbed at my eyes, wincing as the crust pulled at the skin around my eyes as it was rubbed away. I didn't want to get out of bed, but I knew I had to since I had a therapy session right after breakfast. There was a shortened visitation period after lunch today, too, which part of me was dreading after last night. I was tempted to not go to the visitation, but I knew that Dimitri would likely bring Katya and Levi, and I needed to see them again.

Breakfast was already sitting on tables in the common room when I eventually pulled myself out of bed and came out of my room. I quietly took a seat at a table by myself. I managed to eat most of my breakfast before a nurse came to get me for my session.

I followed her to Dr. Hayes' office, dimly wondering if he already knew about last night. I froze in the doorway, though, when I walked in and saw that Dimitri was also sitting on the couch in Dr. Hayes' office.

Dr. Hayes looked up with a smile. "Good morning, Rose. I know we've talked about doing a joint session, so I hope it's okay that I invited Dimitri to join us this morning. If you're not comfortable participating in the joint session this morning, then we can push it to this afternoon to give you time to adjust to the idea.

I nodded numbly. "It's fine."

I walked across the room to sit in the armchair next to the couch rather than share it with Dimitri. I didn't miss the way his face fell as I avoided the couch, and a small surge of anger went through me. He didn't get to be hurt that I was not sitting next to him when I begged for him last night, and he didn't come. As I sat down, I could feel Dimitri studying me.

"You've been crying," he said softly.

"Wonder why," I muttered, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. I sighed. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

When I glanced at Dimitri, his brow was furrowed, and he stared at me in confusion. Dr. Hayes spoke before Dimitri could, though.

"The point of this session is to start developing healthy communication between you. I'm going to set some ground rules for healthy communication, and then we'll get started.

"First, I'd like you both to allow the other to finish speaking before sharing your perspective or your bit. I ask that you speak in "I" statements to express your thoughts and feelings. I won't restrict the language that you use, but I ask that neither of you resort to name-calling. Lastly, I ask that we keep our conversation volume to a civil level. If you feel that you need to step out during our conversation, please feel free to do so; I just ask that you return to the space when you're ready. Does that make sense?"

We both nodded.

"Rose, would you like to go first?" Dr. Hayes asked. "I heard you were asking for Dimitri last night."

I couldn't miss the way Dimitri's head snapped up. "You were?"

"Yes," I said, confused. "The nurses said they would call you."

Dr. Hayes frowned. "They told you that? That's not protocol."

"I asked to call Dimitri last night, and they initially told me no because phone hours were over for the night. I begged them to let me call him, and they told me they would call and that I could see Dimitri if he came up here," I whispered. I turned to face Dimitri, speaking to him directly, and added, "But you never came."

Dimitri turned to face me. "They didn't call me. I swear."

He held out his phone with the call log already pulled up. I didn't take it.

"I believe you."

Despite our faults, I knew Dimitri would never lie to me, especially not about this.

"Do you remember what time this happened?" Dr. Hayes asked. "It was notated in your chart this morning, but I'm not sure which nurses were at the desk last night."

"I don't know the exact time," I said. When I asked, though, one of the nurses mentioned that it was almost midnight.

Dr. Hayes wrote something down before looking back at me. "I'll follow up with the nursing team. I believe that they might have only said that to placate you since the note mentioned that you were a bit hysterical last night. It wasn't right for them to do that, though, regardless of what your reaction was."

I crossed my arms. "I was hysterical because I was having a panic attack."

"You don't need to explain or try to validate your emotions to me, Rose," Dr. Hayes said gently. "Your emotions are valid regardless of the reason or situation."

I nodded, thinking for a moment before I spoke. "Can I go get something from my room?"

"Sure," Dr. Hayes said. "Take your time; we'll wait here for you."

I slipped out of the office and quickly walked by toward my room. I grabbed the letter I wrote Dimitri last night after dinner. I wanted it with me as we talked. I hurried back to Dr. Hayes' office and slipped back into the room a moment later. I still chose to keep my distance, and I returned to sitting in the chair. I needed my space during this.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Hayes said.

I nodded. "Dimitri can go first."

The corners of Dimitri's lips turned up in a barely there smile, but he didn't say anything about me volunteering him. He shifted so that he was facing me.

"Roza, I love you," he said. "That hasn't changed. It will never change. I vowed that I would always love you and that I would keep coming out on top with you, no matter what, for as long as you'll have me. And I intend to uphold my vows no matter what.

"I do want to apologize for how this was handled, though. I'm sorry for hurting you. I only wanted to help you. I could have handled this differently, but I was so scared for you. You've been through so much, and I know you can handle yourself, but I have the urge to protect you. I failed at that before, and I refuse to fail again. You're everything to me, Roza. You, Katya, and Levi. I don't know what I would do without the three of you, and I don't want to find out what my life would be like if I lost you or them."

I could feel myself starting to tear up again, and I brushed away a few tears that slipped down my cheeks.

"Rose? Do you have anything you want to say?"

"I don't blame you. For Adrian," I said. "I never have. I've never seen it as you failing me. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I do blame you. I don't think there's anything you could have done to stop him that night. If anything, I should be apologizing."

I glanced down at my papers, shuffling them so they were in order.

"I was upset when I was brought here. I don't think I was unclear about my feelings on that. I said some things that I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. I've only been thinking about myself, forgetting that you went through this loss with me. I wasn't the only one affected, but I've been acting like it's been all about me, and I'm sorry I haven't been there to support you."

"Oh, Roza," Dimitri said. "I appreciate you saying that, but you have supported me by letting me support you. Not to say I wasn't affected, but I think the loss was harder for you, which isn't a bad thing. It's not easy to brush off."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You don't need to apologize for how you reacted," he said.

I shook my head. "Yes, I do. I equated us to what Adrian did. I said things I shouldn't have, and I shoved you away because I couldn't bear to see your disappointment and blame on top of my own. You are the best thing that's happened to me. I don't want to think about where I would be without you there to support me the way that you have since I was rescued."

"I don't blame you," he said softly. "I don't think you did anything to cause this, and I'm sorry if I didn't tell you that sooner. I've also said things I shouldn't have, and I'm so sorry for causing you more pain."

"Thank you both for sharing," Dr. Hayes said. "I think you both displayed the beginnings of healthy communication, and I'd like to challenge you to keep working on your communication."

"What changed?" Dimitri asked. "When I saw you on Sunday, we still weren't really talking, and we haven't been talking during the nightly phone time."

"We had a musical therapy session yesterday," I said. "It affected me more than I thought it would. I wrote all of my thoughts down and was going to talk about it during visitation today. Last night, I started overreacting and that turned into a panic attack. I kept thinking that I had pushed you away for the last time and that you were going to finally be done with me. I kept imagining you walking away from me and not coming back."

I looked away as more tears started to fall, but I looked back at the sound of my name. Dimitri hadn't moved much, but he was now sitting with his arms open, welcoming me into his embrace. I didn't hesitate, and I quickly crossed the room and fell into his arms, the tears flowing freely now and my body starting to shake.

Dimitri's arms wrapped around me, pulling me onto his lap. I buried my face in his chest, and he held me tight, letting me sob as he murmured to me in Russian.

When my sobs finally stopped, I pulled back a bit, still perched on Dimitri's lap, and noticed that Dr. Hayes had stepped out of the room to give us a bit of privacy. I was getting ready to find him when his office door opened, and he poked his head back in.

"How are you both feeling?"

"Good," I said, shifting to sit between Dimitri's open legs with my back to his chest. "Better."

I felt Dimitri nod. "I think this has been a good start and is something we can keep working towards."

"Is there anything else the either of you want to address?"

Dimitri gestured to where my letter was abandoned by my chair. "Are you comfortable sharing what else you wrote?"

I smiled. "One of the songs we listened to was "Come to Me," and during that one, I wrote down everything I love about you."

"Did you choose the song?"

I nodded. "I couldn't think of any other song to choose at the moment. Do you want to see the list?"

Dimitri nodded, and I grabbed it. I handed it over and sat back down next to Dimitri. I watched as he read the list, his mouth forming the words even though no sound escaped. I shifted how I was sitting so that I could read along with him.

I love how he treats Katerina and Levi like his own flesh and blood.

I love that he loves them.

I love that he calls me Roza.

I love that he talks to me in Russian to soothe me.

I love how he knows to hold me and not let go sometimes.

I love that he cares even when I push him away.

I love that he's continued to love me when I mess up.

I love that he loves me.

I love that I can trust him.

The list continued on until the end of the third sheet where I had just written "I love him" over and over.

Dimitri's eyes were glistening when he looked over at me when he reached the end.

"Oh, Roza," he murmured. "I love you."

He spoke in Russian, but I had heard him say it enough that I knew what he had said.

"Dimitri, thank you for coming today," Dr. Hayes said. "Rose and I have a few things to finish up before our time is up, though."

Dimitri nodded and turned to me. "I'll see you soon."

I smiled and leaned close to kiss him quickly. He only had a moment to kiss me back before I pulled away. Dimitri stood and left the office a moment later, leaving me alone with Dr. Hayes.

Dr. Hayes smiled. "Are you ready to go home, Rose?"