Amy POV

Black smoke was raising up in the air from the cars exhaust pipe, while the engine was roaring and coughing as it struggled to work.

There was sheer panic written all over Callie's face, when I looked back at her. She was staring at the car across the street, her eyes wide. Her body rigid and tense, shoulders up. I feared the loud and sudden bang sound had triggered her judging by Callie's reaction.

"Callie," I tried to get her attention. My voice soft and quiet, but at the same time, loud enough for her to actually hear me.

She didn't reply.

Didn't move.

Made no sound.

Didn't acknowledge me as if she didn't hear me at all.

Her eyes were locked on the car on the other side of the street.

"Callie," I said louder, walking closer to her carefully. My hand outstretched as I wanted to reach her, but the last thing I wanted was to scare her. So I approached her slowly.

Another step and I could reach her.

When the car backfired a second time, Callie's whole body reacted to the sound. It was like the sound wave had hit her. She flinched so hard, her legs buckled and she dropped to the floor with a loud thud. I was too far away and it happened too fast for me to do anything prevent her from falling down. The fall itself, looked like it could have hurt, but Callie reaction suggested that the pain she felt from the fall was not her number 1 priority at the moment.

"Shit!" I ran towards and drop down to the ground next to her as fast as I can

Cupping her face, I looked into her eyes.

Callie was no longer with us. Her body was here, but mind had clearly flashed back to the ordeal in the park. Reliving it. Her eyes were distant, unfocused, pupils dilated. They looked right through me, just like they had that day. Not seeing me, only the destruction all around.

She turned her head, looking pass me, out to the street. Her body, mostly hands, trembling. Raising her arm up, she pointed across the street. Mouth fell open, wanting to say something, but not being able to put it in words.

I placed my hands on her neck and gazed into her eyes. Her pupils were dilated, too dilated almost, irises barely visible.

"Hey, look at me. Look at me, Callie!" Wasn't sure if sure she heard me or not. At least she showed no indication that she had

She tilted her head to the right and covered her ear with her hand. Noticing she wanted to cover her other ear as well, but couldn't quite do it, I took my hands off of her neck and covered both of her ears with my palms. Protecting her ears from whatever she was hearing, scaring her.

"Shh," I hummed softly to her "This will pass. You're okay. I'm here."

Her left hand eventually found my arm and she rested her palm over my forearms. The relief I saw in her eyes, suggested she was grateful for the help. Callie closed her eyes and let out a long, deep breath, her body starting to relax.

Now that I felt the worst part was over, took a relaxing deep breath myself and looked over my shoulder.

Most of the family stood on the porch, behind Stef, watching what I could only describe as horror in their eyes. Frankie was in Lena's arms, partly hidden her face in her mama's neck and hair, tears falling freely over her cheeks. Small hiccups and sniffs were heard. They were the first to disappear into the house. Mariana was hugging herself, her arms wrapped around her own waist. Jude looked like he didn't want to see Callie like this, but at the same time, couldn't bring himself to take his eyes away. Brandon was covering his mouth and noise with his palms. Jesus ran his hands through his hair and then turned to leave inside the house. Stef looked like she wanted to help, just didn't know how.

This just ruined the mood of the party for the moment. No doubt about it. But it's not like we did it on purpose. Callie couldn't control whatever this was. The trauma of the event can surface when you least expect it. I was worried this might happen, that's why I was reluctant about the idea of this BBQ, when Stef and Lena first suggested it few days ago. Too many variables that no one has any control over. They were right, when they said that life doesn't stop just because something bad happens to you. Callie needed to see that things can be the way they were before. That her life is not over. It's not just therapy and rehabilitation. She has a life she can look forward to, friends and family she can depend on and that will always be there for her no matter what.

Right now, it felt like we had taken one step forward, but two steps back.

I turned to look back at my daughter "It will pass," I whispered softly

Callie POV

The sound of a heart beating was the first thing I heard, when I woke up. Slow, steady rhythmical beat. Definitely, not mine. I found the sound of heartbeat very soothing.

A hand was placed over my other ear. It was silencing any other sound, but the heartbeat. The loud ringing in my ears had stopped even before we got the room, but mom still covered my ears, protected them from all unwanted noises. Not only that, her hand cradled and held me close to the persons warm chest.

I kept my eyes closed. Pressed them shut even tighter, because I knew, when I open them, I will see the master bedroom of the Adams Foster house. The room Stef was so kind to offer us, so I could hide out, calm down and take the moment after I created the scene on the front porch. The car backfiring had put me right back in the middle of the damn park. It all had come back in flashes. Violent, vivid flashes of the day that made me relive the moment again.

But I didn t have just PTSD to think about.

It's been a long time, since I have felt this horrible about something I had done. Poor Frankie didn't deserve the way I treated her. I lost my temper right in front of her. I could see it in her eyes, I had scared her. Back then, when I saw her run off crying, I didn't care. But now that I have replayed that moment over and over again in my mind, I don't know how I can ever show my face around her. The guilt I felt, was anything unlike ever before.

I didn't even care any more about the fact that mom didn't tell me about Jesus. Not just mom, anyone actually. Sure, it still hurt being left out, but I get it. I really do. She was only trying to protect me. Like she has from the very start. I had a lot on my plate as it was. There was no need to add the extra, especially, the bad stuff. After all, I once did the same thing. And my thing, actually, felt worse than what mom hid from me.

Harold and I were in the kitchen, trying to decide the place we wanted to order from. It was Sunday and no one really felt like cooking. Linda was still at the market. She wanted to get some fresh vegetables and fruit. Cooper was upstairs with mom, he was helping her with shower.

"So, Indian...maybe?" Harold turned my laptop towards me so I could see the laptop screen

"Won't it be too spicy?" I asked, looking up from my phone's screen where I had opened up the page to a local taco place

Harold turned the laptop back to himself and said in a very old way manner "When I was growing up, there was no option to deliver food home."

"Seriously?" I chuckled at the back-in-my-days/when-i-was-your-age sentence from him

Grandpa only gave me a pointed look, there was a hint of a smile on his lips, but he did his best to hide it "We had to make everything ourselves. Didn't want to make anything, then starve!"

"Okay, you are clearly overreacting, grandpa. I'm sure your mom wouldn't let the 8-year old you starve."

"That I don't know, because my mother died in my sisters childbirth. I was 4 at that time." He replied casually, as he continued to search through the web

"Oh...I'm...I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"Medicine was not that great back then. These things happened a lot more than they do now," Harold explained "How about hamburgers?" he switched back to food and once again turned the screen to me

I was about to reply, when we heard the front door open and close and Linda calling out "Harold?" she sounded different. More frantic. More on edge.

"In the kitchen, darling!"

Linda walked in the kitchen few seconds later, holding only her grocery bag in her hand. No purse. When she left the house, she had a purse.

"I was robbed!" she announced setting the bag on the table

"What!?" Harold jumped up to his feet and checked on his wife "Are you hurt? Did the hurt you?" he ran his hands over her, checking for any injury she might have

"I'm fine!" Linda breathed out "I'm fine, Harold!" she consoled her husband after seeing how distraught he was "Just...shaken up a bit."

"Here, sit down," I pulled a chair for her, when I saw that her hands were trembling a bit. It must be the shock and adrenaline wearing off.

"What happened? How did it happen? Where?" Harold crouched down to her and took her trembling hands in his

"I was driving home. Stopped at a red light, at that corner store...that is open 24/7 by the Arlington street," Linda looked to me "You know it, right?"

"Yeah, I know that place. Closet store to home. It s like 5 minute walked from home," I said, nodding my head as I knew the place she referencing

"Some...kid ran up to the car, pulled open the passenger side doors and grabbed my purse from the seat before I could do anything. Then he just...ran off."

"We need to go to the police!" Harold stated the moment Linda was done retelling her story

"I can drive you," I offered to help, not really giving them an option to decline as I was already standing up and getting down to business "Will go get my wallet and tell Cooper were we are going."

"Callie-" Linda called, when I was one foot out of the kitchen "Don't tell Amy! Please!"

"I wasn't planning to. Mom doesn't need the additional stress right now. She only needs to focus on herself right now. The four of us can handle this on our own, without involving mom." I said before I hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs

The shower was still running and I could hear mom and Cooper talking in the bathroom "Ow...Cooper, don't make me laugh...it hurts too much!" I heard mom say through the doors

I knocked on the doors "Cooper, can I talk to you for a second, please?"

"Sure. Give me a second," he called back "Your mom is splashing so much...the floor is all wet and slippery-"

"I do not," Mom argued back to Cooper quietly "I do not!" she called louder, obviously, to make sure I heard her "It was all Coopers fault!"

"What's up?" Cooper asked, when he stepped out of the bathroom. His shirt and shorts had wet patches on, but he didn't seem to mind it. In fact, he was grinning from one ear to other, like a kid, who just was in a water fight.

I took a hold of his elbow and pulled him a bit further away from the bathroom doors, so that mom couldn't overhear "Linda was just robbed, I whispered to him

"What?" he was confused at first, the smile still holding on his face. When I didn't say anything back, the smile quickly faded to a more serious look, when he finally processed what I told him and realized I was not joking "Is she alright? Was she hurt? Did she report it?"

"I'm going to drive her and Harold to the station," I explained quickly "You're going to stay here with mom. But don't tell her anything. Okay?"

"Callie-" Cooper was ready to argue

"No, she doesn't need to know this. It's not like she can do anything about it. Nothing good would come out of us telling her about it. She will just get upset and worry, and you know how mom gets when she's worried. Mom's having hard enough time as it is, no need to add this to her list. We will handle it. Without her.."

Cooper took a breath and thought about it for a moment "Okay, fine," he looked back at the bathroom "What do I tell her about dinner? About where the three of you went?"

"I don't know. Figure something out," I patted his upper arm and then ran to my room to grab my things. When I walked back out, Cooper was still standing in the hallway with a frown on his face.

"Just...keep the water fight going on and you should be okay. Will be back before you know it," I said, before patting his arm and walking down the stairs

Mom still doesn't know about it, till this day. Grandma's purse, along with her ID, cards and drivers licence, minus the 50 something dollars in cash she had at the moment, was found 3 days later. The kid who robbed her, was caught red handed, when he was trying to rob another car in the same exact place. Her stuff was found at his hide out, along with twenty or so other purses, wallets and bags.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Mom asked me in a hushed voice as she removed her palm that was covering my ear. The hand now moved up and down my upper arm in soothing motions.

I had stirred too much. After all, I was laying between moms legs, turned slightly on my left side, head pressed to her chest. My left arm left kind of numb, not sure was it because of the injury or because I slept on it for an hour. Could be both. Wiggling my fingers, caused the feeling of thousand needles poking my arm.

"I yelled at Frankie for no good reason," I said staring at a fixated point on Lena's night stand

"I'm sure she will forgive you, when you apologize. Besides, knowing Stef and Lena, they probably had a talk with her as well. Explained what happened."

"What could they possible have told Frankie so she would understand? Even I don't understand it."

"They're smart, they probably thought of something," Mom response was fast, it was as if she had no doubt about the fact that Stef and Lena handled things on other side

"I don't know what came over me," I said thinking back to it "It was not that big of a deal. Something inside me just boiled up and I just lost it on her...then you," my voice got quieter at the end. I tilted my head up just a bit, to try and see her face, her eyes "I'm sorry mom."

"Don't worry about it, love!" Mom assured me in a heartbeat "I am sorry, too, you know. For keeping you out of the loop."

The one thing I love about mom is that she's not afraid of admitting she was wrong. She owns her mistakes. Mom didn't make any excuses. Knowing how she handled it now, makes me regret never telling her about Linda, when she was injured. Too many years had passed, there was no longer need to dig up old graves. But still, I wish to be as brave as mom is.

Mom continued "I was just trying to-"

"-protect me," I finished the sentence for her "I know, mom. Thank you for that. But..." I sighed "It just made me feel so left out. Like I was no longer part of the family."

Mom chuckled and then said in the most serious tone ever "That is the stupidest thing you have said. Didn't you hear what Stef said during her toast? You are the one half of the reason this family exists. Together we make a family. This family is forever. That's never going to change. So, I want you to get that stupid thought out of your noggin!" Mom kissed the top of my head at the end "Is it out?"

"Not yet," I said, smiling to myself at the affection and love

Mom kissed my head a few more times "Now?"

"One more so that it sticks," I grinned, just wanting to soak up all the love from mom. In the end, I got more than I bargained for as mom gave me three more kisses instead of one. I was not complaining, not at all.

"Ready to head back down?" Mom asked

"How long have we have been up here?" I asked, looking around for a clock, but didn't find one

"I would say, give or take two hours," Mom said, but I could tell it was a rough assumption. There was no certainty heard in her voice. I saw her phone standing on Lena's night stand. We were pretty tangled up, there is no way, mom could have checked her phone to see the time, while I was sleeping, without waking me up.

"I guess I can't hide here forever, can I?"

"No, don't think you can," Mom said crawling out of the bed. She sat next to be on the bed side for a moment and patted my knee "The long you drag it out, the harder it will get."

I nodded and sighed as I already thought what I should say to Frankie. And the rest of the family. I sure as hell felt like I made a complete fool of myself and ruined the day for everyone.

"Do you want my help with your shoes?"

"Yes, please." I answered to mom, who then moved down from the bed, crouched down and helped me put on the shoes and tie them.

"I'm going to use the bathroom before we go," I pointed to the doors

"Sure," Mom said putting on her own shoes as I made my way to the master bathroom.

After I used the toilet, I found myself standing by one of the two sinks in the bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I was looking at the stuff on the shelves next to it. Tried to guess which sink section belonged to which woman. The left side, I guessed, was Stef's. I made that assumption based on the facts that there were a lot more lotions on the right side and I knew Lena used those a lot. And I saw a few prescription bottles on the left side with Stef's name. It was hidden behind some eye drops and bottle of ibumetin, few bottles of vitamins, some nail polish and some other small bottles.

I dried my hands in a towel and I picked up the prescription bottle that I had been drawn to. It had the same name of drugs written on as I was using at the moment. The date suggested that it might have been prescribed to her back when she had been shot. Stef's bottle was almost empty. I counted 7 pills, but I may be wrong by one or two.

I did a quick glance over my shoulder to the closed doors. When I heard no sound coming from the bedroom, I looked back at the small, orange bottle in my hands and , without thinking about it any longer, opened it. I poured out all of the pills in my palm and counted them again. There were 8 pills. My fingers itched to take one now, right this moment, but I knew I shouldn't. Instead, I decided to pick 5 out and put them in my pocket. The rest, I put back in the bottle and set the lid back on. As I reached to put it back down, the bottle slipped through my fingers and fell on top of the other bottles. In an effort to try and grab the bottle i dropped, I only caused noise and clatter, as the clumsy me only hit over some other bottles. One of the bottle rolled down the counter and hit the floor.

"Shit!" I hurried to pick up the bottle that fell on the floor

"What was that noise? Everything okay?" Mom called from the other room

"Yeah...yeah! Soap slipped through my fingers." I called back as I tried to organize all of the bottles as they were before.

I found mom standing by the window, looking out to the backyard, smiling. There was music playing, loud enough for it to be heard from the bedroom. It must have started to play sometime, when I was in bathroom, because there was none playing, when I had woken up.

Mom looked at me, took one last glance out the window, before she walked up to me and we both made our way downstairs.

The music only got louder the closer we got to the backyard.

I stopped, when we had reached the doors to backyard in the kitchen. In my mind I was already picturing the worst possible outcome. Frankie would not look at me, let alone speak. Stef and Lena would be incredibly angry with me about how I treated Frankie. Everyone would walk on eggshells around me, giving me looks, whispering behind me back. Hating me for ruining the BBQ, which was suppose to be fun and light and easy and happy day. No drama, no sad stories, no over complicating things.

"Callie!" I heard a cheerful Frankie call my name.

Turing to look over my shoulder, I saw the girl running up to me. She hugged my legs, maybe a little bit too tight as I winced at the contact, but said nothing. This was not exactly the reaction I was excepting from her. Quite the opposite actually. I don't mind it. Definitely won't complain about it. Thought I did glanced to mom, to express my shock, with my wide eyes.

"How was your nap?" Frankie asked when let go of my legs and looked up to me

"Good. I feel much better now. Thank you for asking." I said looking down to her

Mom gave me a look and then nodded to Frankie, telling me quietly that now is probably the time to do it.

"Frankie," I looked up and over Frankie, to the room around me, as I simply could not look the kid in the eye. That's how much I regretted yelling at her "I didn't mean to yell at you. I-"

"It's okay. I forgive you!"

"You do?" I asked, looking to her surprised

"Moms said you hit your head really hard. That's where our brain is. And our brain doesn't like to be shaken up. It takes a long time for it to settle back down. We can't put band-aid on it. And until your brain is feeling okay again, you can have a few set backs, like today on the porch." I believe Frankie retold part of what Lena and Stef had told her, word for word.

"That's...yeah. I did hit my head." I was taken aback by how well Lena and Stef had managed to explain it to Frankie

"Mom also said you can only play board and card games right now. Do you wanna play UNO with me? I already found the cards!" I could see the excitement in her eyes and in her whole body. It was like she wanted to jump up and down, but somehow contained the urge.

"Yeah, I would love to!" I said without any hesitation

"Cool!" Frankie cheer and grabbed a hold of my hand, already pulling me in the direction to living room "Amy come play with us. It's more fun when there are more people."

"How about, I go get the other kids?" mom said, reaching to open the doors "Meanwhile, you two deal the cards. Okay?"

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the middle of the sofa, surrounded by the other kids, playing UNO and laughing along with them. And for a while, everything was good. That was, until I had slipped my hand into my pocket as I waited for the cards to be dealt for the next round, and felt the 5 pills I had stolen from Stef. I felt the pills with my fingertips, feeling the surface. That alone made me crave to take it. If found myself thinking, that if I was fast enough, I could probably get the pill into my mouth, without anyone noticing it. It would be a risky move, but it would spare me the trip to bathroom or kitchen.

The worst part was that I didn't feel bad from steeling them from Stef. The worst part was how desperately I wanted to take one of them, right now.