AN: I do apologize for the long break. For those who did not read the info in my profile page, I was on a vacation. Wanted to post it before I left, but I did not have enough time to finish it. So I am posting it now that I have finally had the time to finish and edit it a little.

This was a hard chapter to write. Had different scenarios written, how it would go. In the end, decided to stick with the original idea.

Shorter than previous chapters, but I hope the content of it makes up for it.

Hope you enjoy :)

Amy POV

As I sat in the chair, waiting for Callie to return home, I stared at the little box containing the pills. The little pills, they were taunting me. Making me imagine all of the ways, how they can ruin Callie's life. By doing that, also shattering my life to pieces. It would be one of the cruelest twist of my life. I witnessed her getting caught in a bomb blast. I sat by her bedside in hospital for weeks. I have been by her side all through recovering and rehabilitation. Just the thought, that after all of what we have been through these past 2 and half months, I could lose her to these stupid pills….is unacceptable to me. For the life of me, I could comprehend, how I had allowed it to come to this.

So I vowed to myself, that I will fix it. Not sure how exactly, but I will. I had to. Callie getting addicted, overdosing and dying was not an acceptable option. I will do whatever is necessary to not come to that outcome. Even if it damages our relationship. I rather have Callie being alive and hating me, than finding her dead.

I had been so buried in my thoughts, I had missed them arriving home and only jolted up from the armchair, when I heard a voice from the hallway "Amy?"

She stood alone in the hallway, holding the three large pizza boxes in front of her. No Callie in sight. Just Beth. Looking to me as worried as she was in the hospital waiting room those 2 and a half months back.

"Hey," I said, still trying to wrap my head around how I had spaced out for so long

There was a breeze, Beth must have left the doors open, which probably meant that Callie's was right behind her. Only, I heard no footsteps. No one followed Beth inside the house.

"Where...where's Callie?" I asked, looking expectantly to Beth's left, hoping to see my daughter appear next to her

"She's in my car, out front," Beth said and glanced to the front doors

"Is she planning on coming in anytime soon?" I asked with a chuckle even though, deep down I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, that something had happened "Preferably today, because those pizzas smell so good." My mouth had watered, when the scent of pizzas had hit my noise.

"Something happened while we were at the pizza place."

The smile on my face dropped and I felt something twist in my stomach. Worry instantly consumed me. I shifted nervously in my place, before I walking over to Beth "W-what happened? Is she okay?" I stuttered at first, fearing and preparing to hear the worst

Beth stuttered "I don't know what happened. We were talking about...nothing, really...favorite places to to order take out. When she just..." she trailed off, not finishing her thought. While balancing the pizza boxes on her right, she raised her left and gestured towards the front door, to where Callie was.

"She what?" I pressed on needing to know as much as possible, before I take off running to the car, to Callie

Beth's right hand fell down to her side "I-I don't know. She wasn't making a lot of sense...to me. Muttered something about previous times..."

"Previous times?" I frowned as I could not think of anything Callie might have said that about

"Of you sending her out to buy pizza, just to get her out of the house for a while. She mentioned something about Stefanie, you and Jude" Beth said warily, clearly not wanting to upset me, not knowing the connection that was hidden underneath

"Ah, crap," I sighed and dropped my head down. Yes, I might have used this ruse to get her out of the house for a while few times before. I don't believe what I did was wrong or bad. It was only the fact that Callie caught up on it as well. This time of all the times. Great timing.

I squeezed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger as I tried to suppress the pressure I felt building in my head, behind my eyes. Headache, maybe. Or just the stress of it all.

"Callie thinks you know something," Beth added. I took my hand down, opened my eyes and looked over to Beth. She must have seen in my eyes or something, as she quickly elaborated, before I could ask her about it "Don't ask me what. I have no idea. She cried the whole way back, but once I parked...dead silence and she just won't budge from the seat."

Taking a deep breath in, I took in all of the information "Thank you, for telling me," I said, turning to look at Beth

"Of course."

I placed my hand on her upper arm "You're a good friend."

Beth smiled in return. It didn't quite reach her eyes, but I don't blame her. The poor girl was confused and didn't know what was happening, why Callie had acted the way. It was seen in her eyes, she wanted to help. Didn't know how to, but still wanted it. Little did she know, that she already helped. I gave her arm a little squeeze, trying to pass the message that everything is going to be alright without saying anything, before I walked out.

Callie POV

The driver side doors opened and the little light on the ceiling turned on. I kept looking straight ahead, to the street. No need for me to look as I knew who it was.

Mom huffed as she sat in. She did slam the doors shut just a little bit too hard. I felt the whole car vibrate as she closed the doors. Took it as a sign...no, a confirmation that she knew.

When I was at the pizzeria with Beth, I had realized that this was not the first time mom had sent me out to buy pizza, while we had guests. It was her ruse to get me out of the house, while she could do her own thing. Like, back when she used it on me, when I was still looking for Jude. Stef had come over, mom had been acting weird. She sent me out to buy pizza, so they could talk. This, today, felt like the same kind of ruse. Only instead of the topic being Jude, it was probably my drug abuse thing.

I had a feeling that she knew. Only, I had no idea how much she knew. And that was what makes this so hard on me. I had no idea what to expect of her. If I say too little, she can and will call me out on my lie. Most likely with facts. If I say too much, then I dig a whole for myself that I cannot craw out, all while I drop a huge ass bomb on mom. Making her life even harder than it already was. Letting her down and disappointing her. Again. Giving her another reason to give up on me.

The light in the car went out, but the silence between us remained.

There is the comfortable silence between us. One that I'm perfectly okay with. When things are good between us. There are no secrets, nothing left unsaid between us. There is no nagging feeling, that I need to say something. No stressing out and no worrying about what the other person thinks if we don't converse. Even the air around feels different. Somehow it feels lighter. My body is relaxed, there is no tension anywhere. And I can actually enjoy the quiet, I find it peaceful.

And then there is this eerie, uncomfortable silence. The one were there are secrets and things left unsaid. It often feels like there is a ticking time bomb that is about to go off next to us. The bomb being the truth, the elephant in the room that no one really wants to talk about, but we both know we have to. And this silence, it takes so much strength out of me. It feels like it's draining life out of me. The longer it goes on, the harder it gets. There is always tension in my neck and shoulders and I often feel like I need to pull my hands in fist, as if I need to be ready for a fight. One wrong look, word or movement can set the bomb off.

I listened to moms breathing as I watched how the wind moved the leaves in the trees by the street. Didn't have the courage to look her in the eye. Felt like I failed her. Knew that I disappointed her. I was certain, she was angry, but she was not showing it. Kind of wish she would just yell at me, read an hour long lecture, get it all out of her system. I deserve it.

I can take the yelling, the anger. It's harder with the disappointed looks, they hurt more, but I can get through them.

The silence treatment, not so much. It made me feel ten times more guilty than I already was. Each moment that passed by of her not saying anything, was excruciating. Felt like jab right into my heart, that made it harder and harder to breath each moment.

Right now, I was trying to keep a brave face on. I thought I had cried all my tears on my way home, but I was wrong. They threatened to spill once again. Felt them burning behind my eyes. I bit my lip and tried to keep strong. After all, I shouldn't be crying as I did this to myself. This was my mess. I got myself into it.

On top of all of that, I started to feel the craving to get another pill. It had been hours, since I took the last one. Too long.

When I felt moms hand on my left knee, I realized my leg had been bouncing non-stop. Slowly, I stopped bouncing my leg. Too little, too late. I had given mom another sign that I was not okay.

I looked down to moms hand on my knee, before I tentatively glanced to mom. More than anything, I wanted to look away in shame. But her piercing yet soft look, didn't allow me to. It was like I got glued to her. She won't let me look away until I admit it, say what needed to be said. The truth.

My lower lip quivered "I think...I have a problem."

It took all that I have to utter those words. Once I said it, I felt like the bolder had been finally removed from my chest and I could breath again. First step is admitting you have a problem. And it's the most fucking hardest thing ever. For the first time in weeks, I felt proud of myself.

Mom said nothing for whet felt like too long.

"Yes, you do," she sighed, confirming my theory that she had found out today. Probably in the last hour or so.

"I found the pills you stole from Stef and the pills you "dropped" down the drain," Mom said in a quiet and calm voice. The verbal response came at a cost, because the next thing she did, was remove her hand from my leg, to scratch her brown with the her thumb nail. Almost as if she no longer could keep doing it – giving me comfort through touch and talking to me simultaneously. Watching her pull away, was as excruciating as when she had thrown my blue duffle bag at me, telling me to pack. If I hadn't been sitting down, I would feel the ground beneath my feet shake and my knees get weak. her action still felt like someone sucked all the air out of the car and it got harder to breath.

It was the loss of moms touch, that made the first tear fall from my left eye, followed by the right.

I looked over to mom, desperate for her attention. For her touch, that somehow grounded me and had given me the strength I needed to confess in the first place. In her eyes, I saw that I wasn't the only one hurting from all of this. I recognized the look in her eyes, that told me something I had completely forgotten about. Mom was blaming herself for my addiction to my pain medication. As my parent, she felt responsible. Probably for not realizing it sooner. For not noticing the change in me. For allowing it to happen. For not doing anything till now.

This was the lowest point in my life. I had hit the rock bottom. And I had two choices. I could either throw my life away completely or I could try and find a way out. Get better. Fight this, while I still can.

If I wanted to do the latter, I will need help. While this was all my doing, my fault, I knew that I won't be able to fix it alone. I will need someone to be strong for me, while I was at my weakest.

"I need help, mom," My voice cracked in the middle

"I'm here," Mom gripped my hand instantly, without any hesitation, and squeezed it tightly. New, fresh and hot tears spilled down as I took in a ragged breath in at the realization that mom is not going to leave me and will be there by my side. Once again making me think to myself that I don't deserve her, but I was so damn happy that I had her in my life.

After a beat, Amy added "I'm proud of you."

"For what?" I scoffed, genuinely surprised by her last statement

"For taking the first step by yourself," Amy reached over and placed her free hand on my cheek. Her thumb traced back and forth over my cheek in the all too familiar soothing motion.

"Admitting that you have a problem," mom explained as she gazed into my eyes "That you can't do this alone and need help. For telling me. I know it must have been hard."

I nodded my head, not able to really form words as this was all just too much for me at the moment.

"7 years ago this conversation would have gone a lot more different, don't you think?" Mom said in a hushed voice

"Yeah," I puffed, agreeing I and our relationship have changed a lot over these last few years

"Come here, love!" Mom said before pulling me into an awkward, but much needed hug over the gearbox and handbrake. Neither one of us let go for a long time. We had returned back to the comfortable silence, while embracing one another. I cried the remaining tears out, while mom consoled me, even though I had heard her sniff a couple of times as well.

"What do we do now?" I asked, while still in the hug

"Now, we get back back to house, because Beth is there with 3 large pizzas-"

"Mom!" I pulled out of the hug, to look at her in all seriousness. At this point in my life, I no longer trust myself, no longer trusted my judgment. But I did trust mom, so I needed her to guide me through this dark period in my life. She's going to put me back together. Piece by piece, just like she did, when I first got here.

Amy cleared her throat and shifted a little in her seat "We take it day at a time," Mom answered, placing her hand on my neck again, thumb resting on my cheek "You have a doctors visit on Wednesday. Till then, no more overusing and all pills stay with me! We will get through this."

We

Alone, it would be incredibly hard, almost impossible, but with help, I can achieve anything.

"It won't be easy, but we will," Mom leaned closer to place a kiss on my cheek