Amy POV
My uniform no longer fit me. Well, I could get in to it, button all of the buttons and all that, but it was no longer a good fit. It appeared that I had lost some weight over the last 3 months. Most likely from all of the stress. My eating habits were all over the place the first month or so. I barely ate anything for the first two weeks. So, when I had put on the uniform pants and shirt to go back to my job after the 3 months of break, I had realized, that the cloth were too big to me.
The first thing I did on my first day back was order some new uniforms. That was the most important thing I did on my first day back. I went to shooting range as well, tried to see if my skills are still there. The rest of the day, I was helping book criminals in the holding cell. Nothing too hard, just something to ease me back into the work routine.
Yesterday, was a slow day as well for me. No patrolling just yet. I took the statements of multiple people about theft, minor car accidents, complaints about loud, obnoxious neighbors, one possible stalking incident and similar small incidents civilians come to the police station for.
Today, I went on my first patrol. It felt good to be out there, out on the streets, helping people. I had forgotten how much I missed that part of the job. Stef and I returned from our patrol mere hour ago. Now, we were sat at our desks, doing the more boring part of our work. Paperwork. We both had a small pile of folders on our desks that needed to be done.
When we were out on the patrol, it kept my mind busy. My head was always in the game. Always focused on the task at our hands. Ready to act whenever needed. There was no time for my mind to wander, when I was chasing a thug through backyard alleys.
Now, on the other hand, when I was in the safety of my office building and I had to do a mundane job, that did not require as much focus and there was no threat for my or my partners life, my mind wandered. Oh, boy, it wandered a lot, making it hard for me to do my actual job.
Reaching out, I unlocked my phone to check the time – 3:11pm – and looked if by any chance I had missed a call or text. Seeing that I have no new messages, I locked the phone and continued my work.
Picked up my pen, tapped it against the pages in the folder few times before I wrote down the next sentence in my report. Once done, I reached out to my phone again, unlocked it and checked the time again- 3:12pm. No missed calls or messages as well. Turned on the Wi-Fi and checked the WhatsApp and Messanger apps. Nope, nothing. Before locking the phone, I made sure the volume was turned up at the maximum so I wouldn't miss it. I read over the statement I had written down. Seemed like an okay report. Not my finest, but it will do.
Grabbed the next folder from the pile, opened it and looked over the details. Before starting to write the report, I once again reached out to my phone, unlocked it, checked the time once more. 3:13pm. No new messages anywhere, no calls.
"Okay, what's with you?" Stef said from her desk, making me look up to her
"What?" I frowned at her not sure what she was talking about as I removed my hand from my phone and pretended to focus on the paperwork in front of me
"What's with the phone? You keep looking at the phone every damn minute. Like a teenager!"
"Nothing," I said dismissively, not wanting to get into it. Just as I said it, I heard the familiar notification sound. Quickly, I reached for my phone and unlocked it. No messages. I frowned at myself, I don't get it. But there had been the notification sound. I recognized the sound anywhere!
Looking up, I saw Stef wiggling her phone in the air "That was mine!"
I sighed and looked down to the folder in front of me. Tapping my pen at the folder, I started to think what I needed to write down. No clear ideas came to mind at the moment, mainly, because my thoughts traveled away from job and to my family. Once again, I reached for my phone to check it. Nothing.
"Seriously!" Stef said as she got up from her chair, walking around her desks and sat down on the corner of mine. She reached for the folder, closed it shut and took the pen out of my hand "What's going on?"
"Stef, I was working..." I whined out, kind of reaching for the pen that Stef had taken away from me, but at the same time, not really, because work honestly was the last thing on my mind
"Hardly!" Stef replied, putting the pen in her shirts pocket. She grabbed the arm rests and spun my chair so that I was fully facing her "Talk to me. You are obviously waiting for an important call or a message. What has gotten you so...unfocused?"
Hanging my head down, I sighed. I guess it was really that obvious.
"You have been off ever since we sat down."
"Really, have I?" My head snapped back up "Maybe you just can't remember what it was like working with me it has been so long."
"Yes, really! And I remember just fine!" Stef retorted "Did something happen to Callie? Are you worried that something might have happened?" she asked in a quieter voice, not wanting for the whole damn precinct to hear about my family issues. Stef was the only one at job that knew that Callie had gotten addicted to the pain medication she had been prescribed.
"It's been 7 days!" I whispered to her "Since, you know, she entered the detox clinic. She was suppose to sign out today. The doctors, staff there, said that they would contact me, when I need to go pick her up."
"They haven't contacted you yet?" Stef deducted
"No," I said glancing to my phone "I'm starting to get worried. What if she did something stupid?" and by stupid I meant that she had gotten her hands on some pills and used again. Thus, saying a big, fat "Fuck you" to the week long detox program she was in.
"I'm sure they will call, Amy!"
"What if they don't?"
"When was the last time you spoke to Callie?"
"Yesterday," I recalled "We had a family...group...session thing-y at the clinic. It's part of the rehabilitation program. The family comes and...anyway, not important!" I waved it off, not wanting to go into the details about how we all had basically bawled our eyes out at the therapy, talking about out everything that had happened, how it affected all of us, what it was like when Callie got addicted, how we all had felt about it and similar sensitive topics. That was a really intense and emotional one hour.
"And? How did she seem?"
"Good, considering the circumstances. The doctors said she was doing good. Participating in all of the events, group sessions, individual sessions, music therapy."
"Then why are you worried?"
"Because I'm me?" I answered rhetorically "I always worry." I explained as I sat up a bit straighter in the chair "I was worried about her even when I first met her! I haven't stopped worrying about her since! This-" I tapped my finger to temple multiple times "has not stopped turning!"
Stef leaned closer to me "Do you know what you need?"
"A bloody drink!" was my first answer, the rest followed close by without missing a beat "Callie to be okay. Duke to not howl at the moon at 3am because he misses Callie. My parents to finally leave, I love them, but...you know, they have been here for almost 3 months. New car, because the taillight once again is out. My pen back-" I started to list of things in a deadpan tone
"It was rhetorical questions!" Stef rolled her eyes and jumped down from the desk and tapped my shoulder "Come on. Lets go spar. You need to release all of that frustrated energy of yours! Because getting hit in the face will sure as hell knock some thoughts out of your mind!"
"You're the one who's about to get hit in the face," I scoffed before I pushed myself off of the chair and followed Stef towards the lockers to change. She was right, i needed a release. Some way to get all of those thoughts out of my mind. Activity was a good way for it. At least it has worked before.
Callie POV
It felt strange coming home after spending a week at the detox center. This past week, was the longest 7 days in my entire life. Even Juvie time passed faster.
I pushed open the doors to my bedroom. My room was spotless. Nothing was out of place, everything was neat. Curtains were open. Light shone right into it. The air in the room was fresh, as I just recently the windows had been closed. My bed was made neatly, pillowed fluffed up. My room was prepared for me, ready to welcome me back home.
Arms hugged me from behind and a kiss was placed on my cheek "It's good to have you back, sweetheart!" Grandma said to me
"It's good to be back," I replied with a smile as I placed my hand over Linda's forearm, embracing the hug behind
"It was so quiet without you here," Linda said letting go of me, she walked up to my side. I felt her eyes on me, studying me.
"It was not quiet there," I said with a chuckle before I walked into the room. Dropping the small duffle bag by the desk, walked to the end of my bed, turned on my heel. With my calves pressed against the bed frame, I fell backwards into my bed.
"Ahh, this feels so good!" I grinned loving the feel of my bed "Home sweet home! I love my bed!" I closed my eyes as I moved my arms over the covers, feeling the soft fabric underneath
I heard Linda came in the room chuckling. Her footsteps lead up to my bed and a moment later, sat on the side of the bed. There was a short moment of silence before "Never again, okay?" My eyes snapped open at Linda's stern tone
I pressed up on my elbows and looked straight into grandmas stern eyes "I promise!"
She studied me for a moment, she reached out to me and placed her palm on my cheek "Good! It would break my heart to lose another grandchild."
"I never meant for it to happen. It hurt, all I wanted was for the pain to stop."
"Does it still hurt?" Linda gently placed her palm over the burn scar on my arm
"No," I replied honestly. It had now been little over 3 months. The broken bones had healed, burns no longer pulsed with pain every time I twisted or turned, my head was clear, all thought the TBI still reminded itself every once in a while, but no longer as often as it had in the beginning. All that was left from the shard embed in my leg was a small limp, but with rehabilitation it will be gone soon enough. Scars were now only a reminder.
"Kid!" Cooper shouted from the downstairs
"Yeah!" I called back, making grandma cover her ear, as I sat up in the bed
"We have to go if we don't want to be late!"
"Coming!" I shouted back before turning over to grandmas "I have to go," I grinned at her, before planting a quick kiss to her cheek
"Go, go..." Linda waved me off
I hurried down the stairs. Quickly petted Duke for 5 seconds, who was sleeping by the landing of the stairs, then walked into the living room. Harold was sitting in the armchair, with his legs crossed, folder newspaper in his left and a pen in right.
After planting a quick kiss at the top of his head, I said "Heading out to see mom."
"Yep, I heard!" He answered with a smile on his lips, tilting his head back to see me looking down at him.
Harold pointed to a line "Any idea for the 6 across?"
"um..." I tilted my head a little as I thought about it "Jane Austin, I think!"
"Ah, yes, of course!" Harold exclaimed writing the surname down
He called out a thanks as I walked out of the house. Cooper was already sitting in the car, waiting for me. Climbing in the passenger seat, I closed the doors behind me and pulled the seat belt over me. I had a huge grin on my face, when I turned to Cooper, who had started the car.
"Aren't you excited?" Cooper grinned back at me
"So excited!"
At the moment, mom was the only one who didn't know I was out of the detox clinic. For all she knew, I was still at the clinic. She was still waiting a call from the staff informing her that I needed to be picked up.
I had asked the staff not to call mom. Instead, I asked them to call Cooper. The reason for that was quite simple – I wanted to surprise her.
Thankfully, Cooper had agreed and he could come and pick me up. Keeping it a secret from mom. He picked me up from the clinic about hours ago and drove home. Harold and Linda were the ones that had welcomed me home with open arms. And now it was time to go surprise mom at work. Her 3 months of vacation was over, she had started work 3 days ago.
From what I learned yesterday from the family therapy, mom was not doing great during my stay at the detox clinic. She had felt extremely guilty for leaving me there, feeling as if she had broken a promise to me.
At first, there was the idea of me trying to have detox at home. Mom had insisted on it first, saying that she can take care of me, give me the help required. But as the doctor, Cooper and Beth all had pointed out, opioid detox can be very dangerous. Quite often it may result in death. That scared her, scared me as well. Getting addicted was easy, getting clean was much, much harder and dangerous. It was safer to either have it in a detox clinic or even a hospital. In the end, the chose was made for me to go to a clinic. Where professionals would help be get through the detox, withdraws and all the side effects that came with it.
Mom had been the one to take me there. She had insisted on taking me alone. Before she left me there, we had the longest hug ever during which she told me she loved me and that we were doing this, to help me get better. At that time, I was angry and moody, and anxious and on edge. Wanting, no needing another dose. I hadn't returned the "I love you". With tears in her eyes, mom had left me at the clinic.
Even thought I was overusing for only about 3 weeks, the withdraws did not spare me. I had trouble falling asleep. Spent the first 2 days without closing an eye. Constantly feeling nauseous, vomited a couple of times. My musicales ached, head hurt and stomached cramped. To top it off, I had a fever during that time. During all that, I still had the craving for Oxycontin. After that, I felt completely drained of energy and slept for a day straight. Once I woke up, things had finally started to look up. It no longer felt like big, dark storm clouds were hanging over my head, following me around, threatening to rain down on me. They were starting to disperse with each day I spent at the clinic.
In the end, the time I spent there was good for me. The cravings were no longer there. I finally felt like my old self again.
"Thank you for doing this. I know you hate lying to mom," I said to Cooper, when we had been driving for a minute or so
"It's all for a good cause, right?" Cooper said back, raising an eyebrow at me as he briefly looked to me
"It is," I quickly confirmed
10 minutes later Cooper parked the car in front of the station "You do know that Stef is going to be there, right?"
"Yeah, I know," I rubbed my hands together nervously, trying not to think about that
Talking to Stef was on my to do list. Today, however, I was kind of hoping and praying I could avoid talking to her as I was still not exactly sure what to tell her, how to apologize to her. Because no matter what little speech I prepare in my mind, it does not make up for the fact that I stole from her, violated her trust like that.
I was convinced I was no longer welcomed at the Adams Fosters house. Stef and Lena probably no longer trusted me. At least not to the extent they all used to before. The other kids probably hated me just as much, for exploiting their kindness. Once the detox was over, I had finally realized what I had done and truth me told, I was ashamed of my actions. At least now I could admit it. I deeply regretted what I did. Facing the Adams Foster family was now my greatest fear for I had no idea how they would react to seeing me.
"Wish me luck," I said, watching the stations entrance.
"Good luck," I heard Cooper say as I climbed out of the car
I walked over to the station quite confidently, trying not to think about how I was going to avoid Stef, while trying to surprise mom.
As I entered the building, I saw that the front desk was quite busy. Officer Kate was talking to what looked like could be some detectives. The conversation sounded to be quite serious about some inmate transfer from what I could gather as I walked pass. I managed to slip pass without being noticed by Officer Kate.
Once I walked into the big hall, I stopped and scanned the room. It was loud in there. Lots of people talking, walking, tapping on keyboards, clicking on mouses, clicking pens, tapping foots and handcuff sounds. Moms desk was at the far end of the room. Looking over there, I did not see her. Her desk was empty. Stef wasn't there was well. The first thought I had – this will be a huge fail if she has already left for the day.
But then, even through all of the loud noises, I picked up on moms voice. It was distant and quiet, but it was definitely her. She was in the room somewhere. Scanning the room once again, I finally found her, leaned down by another officers desk. Stef stood on the other side of the officer, with her arms crossed, listening to what was being said. Mom was pointing to something at the other officers screen, then continued to explain something to him, using a lot of hand gestures. Stef spoke up briefly. The officer was looking between mom and Stef constantly. His head went from one side to other.
As mom stood up straight, she pointed up, towards the second floor of the building. Few more words were said between her and the other officer, before she turned around. Stef left the officers side as well and walked up towards mom. They were both ready to head where ever they needed to go to next, but mom looked up. She did a double take, when she looked my way.
We locked eyes with one another from across the room. Slowly, mom raised her arm and waved at me. The motion, the way she did it, how uncertain she seemed, made me believe that she wasn't quite believing what she was seeing. Surprise was written all over her face.
Raising my arm up, I gave her a little wave back. The corner of my lips slowly turned upwards.
Mom took off the next moment, heading towards my direction. Maneuvering pass the desks, searching for the shortcut to reach me, squeezing by people.
"Amy, do you have a minute?" some other officer called, when she walked pass his desk
"Not now!" Amy retorted, without stopping or taking her eyes of me, as if she was afraid I would disappear from her sight.
Once she was in the big aisle I was, I took off walking towards mom with my little limp and we met in the middle. After 3 months, we finally got to have the meeting we didn't get to finish in the park. Arms wrapping around each other, she picked me up and spun me around. I was almost certain my legs hit someone, who was trying to walk by.
Once she set me down, mom cupped my face in her hands "You're here! How? I was waiting for the call-"
"I called Cooper. I wanted to surprise you!" I beamed back
"You did. This is a nice surprise" Mom pulled my face closer and kissed my forehead, before she once again wrapped her arms around me tightly "I missed you so much! I'm so glad you are home!"
"Me too!"