AN: I know some of you wont like this chapter too much.
I tried to write Callie + Adams Foster clan chapter, but everything i wrote seemed too cheesy and stupid and it did not work. So I dropped that, I wrote what came smoothly. On the bright side, while I wrote this chapter, I think I figured out the Callie + Adams Foster clan plot line.
I know there are big breaks between chapters, but its the best I can. With the show dead, with each passing day it becomes harder and harder to write. But I am trying my best to finish this. To give it an ending. It may take some time. But I hope at least one of you will still be there, when it happens.
To those few who still are reading - I hope you enjoy.
Callie POV
I slept in.
Not that I have to get up at a certain time in the morning, but for the past few days, I have been kind of an early bird. Getting up around 7, the same time Amy and Cooper usually got up for work. Eating breakfast with them, in a way sending them off to work. Only once they leave I get ready myself and get on with my day.
The house is quiet. For a brief moment, it was too quiet. Just for a fraction of second, the memory of days I spent in complete silence came back to me. Maybe that's why I was getting up so early, because I liked to wake up and hear them talking and walking around the house as they got ready.
The sound of a car driving by the house, pulls me back to reality. I heard Duke walking around downstairs, so I was not alone.
After making my bed and washing my face, I make my way downstairs. Duke greeted me by the stairs. I spent a good amount of time just playing with him, petting him, rubbing his belly and behind his ears. Not only did it make Duke happy, it brightened my mood as well. It was a great way start a day.
Duke followed me happily to the kitchen. His bowl was empty. Not knowing if mom had already fed him or not, I pour some more of his dry dog food in his bowl and refill the water bowl. But Duke doesn't seem interested in the food at all. He sits down by the end of the table and watches me, keeping me company while I start my day.
I walked up to the fridge, to find something to eat, but I stopped, when I saw a yellow sticky note attached to it at the level of my eyesight. Instantly, I recognized moms handwriting on it.
There is some sort of address written on it. Wanting to take a closer look at it, I pull it off the fridge and hold it up.
Go pick up my car ~ 3pm
Car shop address: Reed Ave 177
Love, mom
P.S. Money, your drivers license and the cars registration are on the table by the front doors
Now that I read the note, I vaguely recall mom mentioning something yesterday evening when were watching a movie in the living room. I had been half asleep, with my head in her lap, barely registering what she was saying and what was the plot of the movie.
It was two days ago, when I sat behind the wheel for the first time since the accident. Instead of mom driving me to my therapist, she had tossed the keys to me telling me to drive. I was reluctant at first, but mom had convinced to me, saying I needed to get back to it sometime. The car had jumped, engine fluttered and then subsided as I had not put the right pressure on the gas pedal and released the clutch in the right way. For me, that seemed enough of a sign, that I should quit and not get back behind the wheel for another few weeks. But mom was persistent and and told me to try again. In a way, it had reminded me of the time, when mom was teaching me to drive for the first time.
It wasn't only my legs that I no longer trusted to do the job correctly - releasing and adding pressure to the pedals in the right amount, right order. I was worried that I had forgotten the rules on the street, what each sign meant, how to merge into a big highway correctly or just simply park the car.
Mom had insisted that it would all come back to me. That I shouldn't give up on first failure. So I kept trying and trying, even thought with each failure I kept getting more and more frustrated and angry with myself.
After three more failed attempts to just take off , I had finally succeeded. And the rest was history. I did not have any issues with reading the signs, following the rules, keeping the right speed, using indicators and everything else that came with driving. There were no issues with me focusing on the road. It all came back to me once I had felt the car moving and took control of it.
I put the sticky note on the counter and opened the fridge. Time to start a breakfast. I had a lot to do till I have to pick the car. Need to have big breakfast as I did not know when I will eat lunch. Between the morning physical therapy and the group meeting I have today around noon, I need to have my energy.
"Scrambled eggs?" I asked, looking over my shoulder to Duke
He barked. I took that as a yes and took out the eggs.
~0~0~0~
At 3:15pm I walked up to the car repair shop and took off my sunglasses as I looked around the garage for someone who worked there. All the garage shop doors were open. In the first one, there was some old dark green sedan. Couldn't tell the mark or model, but design wise it looked old. Almost antique. The hood was raised and someone was doing something to the engine. There were tools lying down next to the front left corner of the ground and a light was shining onto the engine.
Walking forward, in the second one, there was a cabriolet. It was raised up and a guy in a dark blue jumpsuit was working underneath it. He must have opened a valve because the next moment he raised up a little can and caught all of the oil that was pouring out. I saw that the guy had earphones on. Even from standing all way out on the street, I could hear the beats. To me, it sounded like a rap or hip-hop song. The guy wouldn't hear me even if I was standing right behind him.
When I walked up to the third open garage doors, I recognized the vehicle as ours – moms light grey Volvo. The driver side doors were open and the trunk was popped open. Someone was sitting in the drivers seat, only his left leg outside of the car. The guy who was working on our car had the same kind of dark blue jumpsuit on and black boots.
Not wasting much more time, I walked up to the person working on moms Volvo. They had told mom that the car would be ready today at 3. It should have been all set by now. Though, seeing the guy still sitting in it, I was no longer so sure about it.
"Excuse me," I said once I was close enough for the guy to hear me. He didn't react, at least not at first. So I repeated again, this time a little louder after I had cleared my throat "Excuse me!"
He accidentally had pressed on the honk. The loud and sudden noise made me jump, but it made him curse and cover his ear briefly "Oh, shit...that was loud!"
But what surprised me even more than the loud noise, was seeing the face of the man who was working on moms Volvo as he stepped out. His messy hair hadn't changed a bit, his smile just as contagious and bright as I remember it. He seemed to have put on a little bit of weight, or maybe it was just pure muscle mass, because he looked more buff. His shoulders wider, chest and arms bigger. My eyes had stuck on his biceps when he had briefly flexed his muscles as he cleaned his hands in a cloth he had pulled out of his back pocket.
"Gavin," his name stumbled over my lips as I looked him in the eye
"Callie," at least Gavin looked just as surprised to see me
Even thought we had broken up (mutual) and had said we would still be friends, we hadn't kept in contact. There were no hurt feelings between us, neither one was angry or upset with each other. We had fallen out of love, it happens.
Sure, yes, I saw the post he made on facebook, but I didn't comment on anything. I had pressed thumbs up on one his new profile pic some few months ago, but that was about it. He was the same with my post. We hadn't talked, chatted online or messages each other since we broke up. I think, it was simply easier and it hurt a little less. Our friend groups didn't overlap, so it wasn't like we kept seeing each other at an outing, party or whatever.
"Wow," by some miracle I was the first one to get my voice back "You look-" I gestured to him, taking in his appearance "...did you start to go to gym?"
Gavin grinned and looked down to his right arm "Can you tell?" He looked proud that the change was noticeable
"Mhmm," I hummed nodding my head multiple times "Yeah, you look...good." That was not a lie, he was even more handsome than I remember. He looked more mature for some reason.
"Thanks," he muttered quietly as he looked down to himself quickly. Gavin never was good with taking compliments. Same as me. I never really know what to say or how to act.
"You look-" Gavin paused and tilted his head to side as his eyes studied me "...different," He sounded almost sad as he said it
After a beat he quickly added "That came out wrong. I didn't mean it in a bad way! You look very beautiful, like you always did. But there's...I don't know...I feel like something has changed- " he waved his hand in my general direction "Not sure what. Did you do something with your hair or-"
I touched my hair and moved it slightly more over the scar on my forehead, not wanting him to see it "No, not really. It's the same like it always has been."
"Something...else then," I heard him quietly say to himself
"Yeah, something else," I said to myself as I wondered if I really do look different
"So now that we established we both look good," Gavin joked as he put the cloth back in his pocket "What's it been? A year, year and a half?"
"Something like that. Since when do you work here? What happened to your uncles shop?" I asked taking a look around the garage
"I'm working a second job. Trying to save up some money," Gavin replied, but then turned back to moms Volvo and tapped on the roof of it "So your mom still drives this old beauty, huh?"
"Yeah, she refuses to sell it. Cooper keeps telling her she should, but..." I shrugged my shoulders "Me, personally, I love this Volvo. I don't want mom to ever sell it."
"I just patched it up. It should run another 5-8 years," Gavin said looking at the car, when he turned back to me he added "I know how your mom always took care of it. That's why it still is in such a good condition."
"Is it ready or-"
"Aha, all done," He said quickly and pointed in a direction "Go to the desk, they will sort out the paperwork."
5 minutes later, when all the papers were done, I walked back to the Volvo and Gavin.
"The keys are in the car," Gavin said nodding to the car
"What?"
"Key," Gavin repeated and pointed to the car "In the car," I just stared blankly at him, not sure what he was talking about.
I glanced to the car, then back to him and frowned "What's in the car?"
"Keys," Gavin said once more, but it still didn't spark anything in my mind. No image for this word came to mind, no idea, what these keys are suppose to do or what they are for.
"Ooooh," I forced myself to drag out pretending I knew what he was talking about, because I saw him giving me a strange, suspicious look "Yeah...of course," I nodded my head and faked a little laugh "Aha...keys. Yes. Right, silly me!"
It hadn't happened in weeks. This was not a good time to have one of my moments of stupid. I did not want him to know what's wrong with me. All I wanted right now, was to get out of here as fast as possible, before he would start to suspect anything. Don't want to embarrass myself any further. I can't keep the charades going. He's not stupid, he will notice something is wrong.
Gavin did a little chuckle himself, all while keeping his eyes on me. Not sure if he believed me or not.
"Where are the-" not knowing the word for it, I gestured with my hand a twisting motion "To start the car."
Gavin was now fixated on me and once again. I recognized sadness, worry and confusion in his eyes. Shit...he was on to me.
"You know-" I did the hand gesture multiple times "Should I have gotten them at the front desk or-?"
Gavin walked pass me, leaned into the car. Once he leaned out, he placed the object I was looking for in my palm "Here you go."
His hand cupped mine, I felt how warm it was. He was now close to me, so close, I felt his breath on me. Tilting my head up, I looked him in the eye.
He looked back at me. Really looked at me. His eyes traveled from my eyes, to my nose, my cheeks, my lips. Studying me. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. But Gavin raised his hand up to my face, his fingers gently traced over my forehead, they brushed the hair away "Callie-"
My scar.
I took a quick step back pulling away from him "Thank you...for the car!" I got in the Volvo and closed the doors quickly, so there would be something between us. A barrier of sorts, so he couldn't ask more questions.
I started the car quickly. Gavin took a step back to make sure there was some distance between him and the car as I put the gear in rear and drove out of the garage.
~0~0~0~
Duke alerted me first that mom and Cooper had returned from work. He started to bark happily and ran from window in the living room to the doors. Me, on the other hand – I just pulled the blanket I had hid underneath when I had returned home from the car shop, over my head. It was my safe cocoon. No one could find me here, I had told myself. I was safe here, from all of it. Judgment, embarrassment, hurt.
"Callie?" I head mom call out, when she came home together with Cooper. Heavier footsteps went up the stairs, lighter ones stopped at the doorway to living room.
I remained quiet and pressed my eyes close, not wanting to face or talk to anyone.
The couch beside me dipped and I felt the weight of a hand over the blanket on my shoulder.
"Callie," mom cooed softly
I remained silent for a while, but mom did not leave, so I asked politely from underneath the blanket I was hiding "How was your day?"
"Good. How was yours?" She replied back
"Not good," I said not moving from underneath the blanket
Mom lifted the corner of the blanket up to peak at me "What happened?"
I sighed "I saw Gavin at the car shop. He works there part time now."
"Oh!"
"You didn't know?"
"No, I had no idea. Sorry. I'll take the car elsewhere next time,"
"It's okay," I said finally crawling out from the blanket "You don't have to do that."
"I thought you two ended on a good terms," Mom said as I sat against the end of the couch, facing her
"We did. It was not that," I pulled the blanket over shoulders, still wanting and needing the warmth and comfort it brought to me. Mom scooted deeper to the couch, leaning against the back with her left side and placed her hand on my knee, while she waited for me to continue
"I had one of my...episodes," mom exhaled softly at my statement, clearly feeling for me "I forgot what keys are! And I think he picked up on it...that there's something wrong with me."
Mom let out a small sigh and rubbed my knee "I'm so sorry, honey." I leaned my head down to my knees. A moment later, felt my mom plant a soft kiss to my head before she leaned her head down next to mine
"That's not how I would chose to tell people, you know. Because they saw or notices that there is something wrong and then I need to explain myself. I would rather not tell anyone, because after all it's not their business, but if I have to, I would like more control of it. Start a normal conversation about it. If that makes any sense..."
"It does," Mom whispered back "You should probably talk to him. If he picked up on it, he's probably worried."
"I know. I have a feeling he'll come visit after his work ends."
~0~0~0~
It was after dinner, little over 8pm. The three of us were sitting in the living room, watching news, when there was a knock on the door. Duke raised his head up, quickly got up to his four and started to bark. We all looked towards the front doors.
"I'll go see who it is," Mom said tapping my knee lightly, which was rested over her lap. I lifted up my legs, allowing mom to get up. Cooper reached for the remote and turned the volume down a little.
I had a pretty damn good feeling who it was and I was already starting to mentally prepare myself.
"...please, wait outside for a moment," I heard mom say
Mom walked to the doorway and looked to me "It's Gavin. He wants to talk to you."
"Yeah, I figured as much," I said setting the blanket aside and getting up. Mom placed her hand on my shoulder as I passed, before she went to sit back down while I went to the front door.
I paused briefly with my hand on the door handle.
When I opened the doors, I saw how Gavin took his hands out of his pants pocket and turned to face me.
A quick, short lived smile flashed on his face, before he said "Hey!"
"Hey," I closed the door behind me
"I tried calling you. It went straight to voice mail-"
"My phone is broken."
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"You didn't. Was just watching the news," Briefly looked down and I licked my lips "Had a feeling you would come."
Gavin looked down. He seemed unsure, what to say. How to ask, what he came to ask. So instead of waiting for him to find the right words, I went over to him, took him by the hand and sat down on the porch steps, taking a lead on this.
As we were sat down, I let go of his hand and placed my arms over my knees. Took a deep breath in.
"Callie," he said warily "At the garage-"
"Let me talk, okay?" I asked, placing my hand briefly over his fidgeting hands
"Okay," Gavin nodded and looked to me
"At the garage, I had what I call...an episode," I explained as I turned to look across the street "They are rare now, once every other week. Used to be once every other day. I forget the words for objects...things. If you show it to me, I can tell you what it is used for, what it does. But I don't know the name for it. It passes, comes and goes in waves."
"The keys-" Gavin said quietly
Looking back to him, I stated "I have a TBI."
"TBI," Gavin muttered the letters quietly to himself "Traumatic brain...injury." I nodded as he processed the news "What...How did—When?" Words escaped his mouth
"I was working at the Fair, when the bombing took place. Was one of the people, who got injured."
Gavin stared at me in disbelief. The news took him by surprise and left him speechless.
"That's where I got the TBI," I turned my left side to him and raised the hair from my forehead, reveling the new scar on my head that he had taken notice off at the garage earlier today before I had bolted out of there.
He raised his hand up, wanting to touch it, but stopped midway. Maybe he got scared to hurt me.
I started to roll my right sleeve up "I have burns on my arm," Gavin's eyes quickly went from my head to my arm and sadness washed over him "On my torso and my leg. And countless of other injuries. Spend a month in hospital..." I let the sentence hang, saying that it was quite serious without having to actually say the words
Moments passed, but Gavin still hadn't said a word.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Um.." he looked lost "I'm not sure what to say...I just..uh.." Gavin stuttered "I remember watching the news coverage. I was at work, when it happened. Me and guys at the garage followed through it. Prayed that the causality count wouldn't grow, while we all knew deep down that it would. It always does..." Gavin started to ramble "First it was 10 found dead at the scene, then 3 more died on the way to hospital. More people were found injured on the scenes under the ruble...I remember the count of people injured and died kept growing and growing and growing..." he gestured with his hand as he stared blankly at the ground in front of him
He swallowed a lump in his throat and raised his head up to finally look me in the eye "I can't stop thinking about how one of those people were...you! You were one of the injured...one of the unnamed person fighting for their lives..."
Once again, I reached for his hand to gently wrap my fingers around his. As I made the contact, he looked down to the burn on my arm "Does it hurt?"
"Not anymore."
"Is there anything I can do? To help? Do you need anything?"
I let out a little chuckle and reached to caress his cheek "I'm okay, Gavin. You don't have to worry about me anymore. The worst is over now. I am not just saying that to make you feel better or to console you. Mom and Cooper got me the professional help I need to deal with all of this. I really am okay."
"I feel like I should...do something. To help. Make up for not being there. I was not there when it happened, but I want you to know I'm here now. We're suppose to be friends, remember? We promised each other we would be friends. And friends should be there for each other during times like that. But I was not there...I didn't even know. What kind of a friend am I? You definitely deserve a better friend. I want to be a better friend, Callie!" He had barely taken a breath between all of it
"Gavin," I looked deep into his eyes, stopping his rambling "You are still a good friend. That's the beauty of a real friendship. It lasts forever. No matter how much time passes. You don't need to make up for anything and I know you are here for me, because well..." I glanced to the house "You're here, after noticing something was off in that brief conversation we had. You are a good friend. Okay? Don't ever doubt that! "
He nodded a little and then let out a laugh "How are you consoling me?" I chuckled back
Gavin put his hands on the side of my head and placed a kiss on my forehead, then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him "I'm glad you are still here, Callie."