AN: Long time no see.
Lots of changes in my life in the past months, it kept me busy. Hope there are still few of you with me.
Hope you enjoy :)
Callie POV
The evening walk with Duke turned out to be longer than usual as I had decided to take path I don't usually take and previously has always avoided it. It added around half an hour long detour. Duke didn't seem to mind. He only nudged my hand for one extra dog treat while we walked it. I enjoyed the long walk, the fresh air, the landscape, the quiet, the time and space to think and clear my head. Lately I have been enjoying these walks more than before. Could be because I no longer take these simple things for granted. Would have been nice if I had an extra water bottle with me, but it managed.
I released the leash from Duke's collar and let him run to the house freely. Patted his side as I opened the front doors for him. He ran straight to kitchen, to his bowl of water. I followed him after I took my shoes off and hung the leash by the doors, where it usually stood.
Gave Duke the last treat I had in my pocket before I went and got myself some water as well. After drinking the bottle dry, I went upstairs.
Doors to moms bedroom were open. Heard Cooper and mom in there, talking. Didn't pay too much attention to their conversation.
"I'm home!" I called as I took the last step up
"You were gone for a while," Mom appeared in the doorway a second later "Got worried for a moment."
"Took a different path, it added a mile or two," I said walking straight towards bathroom "Will take a quick shower." I pointed to the room. Saw mom nod her head, turn around and walk back into her bedroom before I closed the doors behind me.
Put all of my clothes in the laundry basket for a wash later and hopped in the show. The hot water I had first turned on, burned my skin a little at first. I hissed as I moved my right side out of the water as I adjusted the temperature.
Some minutes later, I wrapped my towel around me and made my way towards my bathroom, leaving few wet footprints on the wooden floor as I went.
I had just gotten my underwear on and started to dry my hair some more, when mom knocked on the doors "You decent?"
"Yeah, you can come in," I called back without stopping my current task and not bothered by the fact that I was barely dressed
Mom came in, smiled at me a little and went to sit on my bed. She did not sit for long though as she was back up to her feet and by my side a few seconds later.
Her fingers barely traced over the damaged skin and the area around it "Skin seems really red-"
I stopped drying my hair, lowered the town and looked down to my side "Water was a bit too hot at first. Think that irritated it more than usual."
"Did you put something on?"
"Not yet. On my to do list," I replied tossing the towel over to my bed and walking to my nightstand to get the said lotion
I had just started to apply the lotion, when I remembered that when mom had come inside, I senses she had wanted to speak to me about something or tell me something "Everything okay?" I briefly looked up to her
Mom snapped out of her thoughts as she had watched me and rubbing her hands together, she walked back to my bed and sat down "I wanted to talk to you about something."
"What?" I wondered, not really feeling or finding a reason in my head to be worried or nervous about it. I knew I hadn't done anything bad or wrong, there were no hiccups for my recovery. Last I knew all family was good, no one was sick or anything. Had spoken to Jude just yesterday.
Mom took the shorts and t-shirt I had chosen from my dresser and tossed on the bed before she had entered. She handed me the shorts, I put them on.
She handed me the t-shirt. I had just gotten my hands through it, when mom dropped the bomb "I think you should move back to your apartment."
The words hit me hard, they left me stunned. I stood there, partly dressed, looking down at her. My mouth parted a few times, until I finally managed to get out "What?"
"You are ready."
"You're kicking me out?"
"No!" Mom jumped up to her feet "No, that's not what-"
"Well, kind of feels like you are!" I put my shirt over my head angrily and glared down to her
"No!" Mom was up to me, when my head was through the shirt and she took my hands "I would never kick you out. This is your home. It will always be. I'm not kick you out!"
"I can start paying rent-"
"This not about rent, love!" She was quick to assure me
"Then what?" I asked and then it hit me
I pulled my hands out of her grip as if her hands had burned me "You and Cooper want to start a family...have a baby." I took a step back as I tried to come to terms with it.
Clearly I did not fit in that picture. They have been married for few years now. That's what people do. I know mom is not in her 20's, but women in 40's can still have babies. Lots of celebrities do. Cooper once did admit to me he would love to have a kid with mom, but said he would never pressure her into it. They would only try for one if both of them wanted to. It was not a make or break relationship for him. I figured they finally agreed to start their own little family.
Mom laughed, buy I frowned at her reaction. I couldn't believe she found it funny.
"Do you hear yourself Callie? How ridiculous you sound. That's..." she shook her head
"Then what?" I threw my arms up
"You are ready, love. To take the next step and move back out. To live independently, like you used to do before."
"No!" I quickly shook my head. Being on my own, sounded terrifying. There were so many things I could screw up. "No! No, I'm not ready."
"Yes you are," mom caressed my cheek "You don't need me anymore."
"That's not true! Mom, I need you...I have always needed you. Now more than ever!" I argued back not liking what I was hearing. How could she even begin to think that I don't need her? Without her, I don't know what would be of me.
Mom exhaled slowly "Honey, do you remember, when my parents and my brother were staying with us, after Aaron and Markus died?"
"Yeah, of course but what does it have to do with this?" I frowned not seeing how it was connected to what we were talking about
"Do you remember, the day my mom announced that they were going to fly back home? Leaving us, alone with each other."
"Sure-" I nodded my head back.
I remember it like it was yesterday. The day they left, marked the day, that my life changed completely. Starting that day, this special bond between us started to take shape. We were both broken, both desperately searching for something that would help us keep our heads above the water, while life, was relentlessly pulling us under the water. The waves of water kept hitting us, yet somehow, holding on to each other, we managed to get to the shore. We found strength in each other.
I had found it strange that they had announced it so suddenly. Things were going good, we had just found this sort of rhythm. I had grew accustomed to seeing them all, talking to them. Unlike any other extended foster family, I actually didn't mind them being around. But most importantly, Amy needed them. But then, the next day we were standing in an airport, saying goodbye to them.
"Do you know, why they flew back to Boston?"
"Um," I tried to recall what I was told "Andy said something about Nell needing to go to a business trip, his vacation days were ending and your parents needed to watch over Andy's daughters."
"There was no business trip for Nell, Andy is a freelancer so his vacation days can't technically end because he is his own boss. While, yes, of course my parents could technically watch the girls, as I said...Nell didn't have a business trip."
"So what? They lied to us? To get away...from you? Us?" I frowned and unknowingly to myself I had pulled my hand in a fist, staring to feel a sudden anger against her family for lying, at a time like that. That was not a nice thing to do. Family is suppose to be there for each other through the good and the bad. Yet now it seemed that they run away so they wouldn't have to deal with grieving Amy any longer.
"Callie they left, so that I would get back to my life. I was depending on them too much. They did everything for me, cooked, cleaned, payed the bills, drove you to school, did groceries, tried to parent you-" Mom licked her lips as she looked down "I needed a wake up call to remind me, that I still had you."
She raised her head back up and looked to my eyes "That my life hadn't stopped, just because they died. You were still my responsibility, even though Aaron was dead. You still needed me, despite...everything. They left, so that I could start to take control over my life again. Them being here, babying me, helping me around the house, with you, it was not helping me heal. They did help the first few days, but after that...I needed to get back to my own two feet."
Mom pressed her finger softly to my chest "You, my love, need to get back to your life, just like I did back then."
I took a breath to process what mom was saying. The way she explained it, I could draw parallels with me life. She was right, I no longer needed my mom to watch over me for 24/7, I didn't need assistance to go to bathroom or to take a shower, walk down the stairs, give me medicine, change bandages. Yesterday I made a big dinner all by myself for when Cooper and mom came back to work. Today I took 2 hour walk with my dog all by myself with no problems. My mind is clear and my brain, well, I was starting to seek ways how to keep it occupied, keep it working. I started to re-read my own medical books to make sure I'm not rusted for when I do finally get back to work. Even looked up information about the next certificate and exams I could take to get to the next step in my career.
There was just one thing.
"I'm scared," I whispered out, almost to afraid to admit it
"Of what?" mom tucked a stray of hair behind my ear
"What if I slip again? What if it's all too much again and I..." tears whelmed up in my eyes as I only remembered all the pain that I caused "I'm scared that I will screw things up again. Make wrong or bad choices. And honestly, I don't want to be alone...not now and not ever."
"I won't let that happen," she said with a level of certainty I had only ever heard her say few times before "I'm still going to be there for you, every step of the way. Just, you know, watching from the corner or whatever. But ready to jump in whenever you need me."
I chuckled a little. I knew how hard it was for mom to be out of my life the first time around. Not exactly sure things will change that quickly for the second time. The first week I moved out, she called me every evening, checking in with me, asking me about work, about what I ate, if I ate, reminding me to pay bills. After that, the calls became less frequent. In the end, it was just one call on Sunday, if we hadn't spoken to each other the whole week. If we had texted over Whats-app or seen each other over the week, then she didn't feel the need to call and check in. Yeah, the first week was rough on her. Me as well, as I had to get used to being on my own.
"Besides, it's not like you will be gone and all moved out in 2 hours. This is just the first step, baby. Right now, we're only starting a conversation about it. I want you to think about it, sleep on it for a day or two. Then we can talk about it some more. Talk about some more about your fears or concerns, about what to do next and..."
"I love you," I blurt out and leaped towards mom feeling the need to express how much this meant for me. Even thought she would love nothing more to keep me all to herself, she knew she needed to let go eventually. I knew she wanted me to succeed in life, she was my biggest supporter. Mom wanted nothing more for me to get back to the life I had before the accident put a stop to it.
Mom did seem a little taken aback by the unexpected hug, but she re-cooperated quickly "I love you two. And I just want the best for you. I hope you know that."
"I do," I tighten my grip on her a little bit and dug my face into the nook of her neck a bit deeper
~0~0~0
The front doors had banged softly at the door stopper. It felt really strange being back here. Last time I was here was over 6 months ago.
Moms hand touch my lower back softly as I stared at the hallway that led into my apartment. I glanced over my shoulder to mom, she gave me an encouraging smile and a nod. Cooper stood tall behind mom, his hand on her shoulder.
Looking back front, I took a breath and took the first step over the doorstep. Kind of thought I would feel something...more. Yet there was nothing. No nostalgic feeling. No memories came flashing back, maybe because I didn't actually get that far. I hadn't lived her for that long.
Mom and Cooper followed me in, one of them closed the doors behind.
Taking my time, I walked around the apartment. Stopping at every room, looking at the walls, furniture, decors and everything else. The last room I walked in was the living room, that's where I found mom and Cooper standing around and waiting for me.
"Well?" mom asked, looking around the room "How does it feel be back here?"
"Can we remodel?" I turned to Cooper, asking for his permission, because even thought this technically was my apartment, it was Cooper's first and I felt the need to ask him. He did put in a lot of money in this apartment. Still to this day I remember all the stories he told me how he repaired the apartment himself when he first bought it.
"You want to remodel?" Cooper was a bit surprised
"I want a fresh start," I said walking over to the couch. When I turned back to the two of them, I continued "Right now, it reminded me of the time before of the incident. But, uh, I kind of feel like that is the old me. What happened to me, changed me. I'm not the same person I was before. And this place, I want to change it with me. This is going to be a new chapter in my life, so to say, and I just want everything to be...fresh. If that makes any sense."
"It does. It does make a lot of sense," Amy agreed and looked over to Cooper
"Yeah, that...of course we can remodel," Cooper said back. I smiled at them and walked over to the window, to briefly look out of it
"And Callie," Cooper said, making me turn back to him "You don't have to ask for my permission."
"It used to be yours. You have bragged so many times how you put on the wallpaper and the floor yourself-"
"Was not bragging!" Cooper replied, clearly faking the hurt, as he walked over to me "It's your place, you are free to remodel and redecorate however you want, kid." He leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead and then stood by my side, wrapping his arm around my back. Mom walked up to my other side and did the same exact thing.
"Tell us your vision," Mom asked, moving her hand in the air as if by magic the place could be changed to whatever I please
~0~0~0~
At first, it was just me, mom and Cooper. Our day started early. Got here around 7. We disassembled some of the furniture, covered other with white sheets, cleared out as much space as possible for the remodeling. It took a good portion of our morning.
Around 11, one by one the Adams Foster clan stepped into the apartment. Mom had asked them if they wanted to help out with remodeling the apartment. It came as no surprise that they all agreed without even thinking about it twice.
Cooper put everyone to work, after he separated all of us into three groups. Bedroom, living room and bathroom team.
I was working on removing the old tiles in bathroom, when I heard that Mariana was whining and being her usual self while being on the removing the old wallpaper in living room.
"This is slavery!" A short pause and "Plus, there is so much dust. It's everywhere – my hair, mouth, nose..."
Stef next to me took of the next tile, set it down, then looked to her watch "One hour and 49 minutes. You owe me a back massage," she said and glanced to her wife
"I really thought she would last at least 2 hours," Lena hung her head down in defeat. I grinned at both of them for betting on their daughter.
"This is fun!" Frankie called from the living room "When else would moms allow to destroy a room!"
"I find it kind of relaxing to be honest," Cooper said in response to both of the girls "There is nothing more fun than smashing a wall."
"Will we get to do that!?" Frankie exclaimed
"Sadly no," Cooper replied "We need all of the walls."
"We need another trash bag!" Jude called from the bedroom"Where is it?"
"I think I left it in the hall somewhere," I shouted back and leaned out of the doorway, with my eyes searching for the bag that I had bought specifically for this occasion.
I located the bag with my eyes and pointed to Jude, who came out of the living room. His hair was full of dust from the old wallpaper.
"Got it! Thanks," Jude took one and went back inside the bedroom
Before I could get back to removing the old tiles, the doorbell rang. I looked over to Stef and Lena.
"Don't look at us, our whole family, minus B, is here!" Stef said raising her hands up
"Callie can you get it, please?" Mom called from bedroom
"Are we expecting someone else?" Jesus asked, stepping out in the doorway, when I walked out to hallway
"Not that I'm aware of," I wiped my hands to my pants before I reached for the door handle
"Beth!" I was not expecting to see her here today
"Hi!" she smiled brightly at me, she was dressed in her work clothes. Her radio was missing, but other than that, work clothes, hair taken up in a bun.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, completely forgetting about my manners as we remained standing in the open door
"Um, your mom said I should come by 12 to pick you up," Beth raised her wrist up and looked at her watch to see if she got the time right
"Oh, okay," I was not sure what to say "Pick me up for what?"
"Beth! Hi, thanks for coming by," Mom appeared next to me, she placed her hand around my shoulder. Though the touch was short lived as she reached in her pocket and handed Beth a note of some sort.
"I assume you know what's there. Your Captain said they will be expecting you there around 1pm," Mom told her as she watched how Beth read the address or whatever was written on the note.
It took a second but it looked like Beth did "Oh...OH, that's the...yeah." She smiled up to my mom
"Captain? Our Captain? Captain Jennings?" I babbled out, looking madly confused between mom and Beth "When did you speak to Captain Jennings?" my eyes stopped on mom, my forehead was all frowned up
"Okay, you two should head out," Mom gave me a little push out the doors
"Whaaat?" I turned around, now looking at mom from hallway
Mom reached for something that was behind the doors and handed me a bag "Change of shirt and pants and shoes."
"Beth, she's all yours. Watch over her, please," Mom said as I looked in the bag to find my work clothes there
"Don't worry, I got her," Beth beamed back and patted my back lightly
I had barely looked up from the bag, when mom said "See ya! Love you, Cal!" she blew a quick kiss my way
"Bye!" Beth managed to say, before mom closed the doors in my face
I didn't even get to say bye to her, not to mention ask any more questions There were so many question on my mind, but seeing how this interaction went, I doubt I would have gotten any answers out of her.
"What is happening," I muttered to myself utterly confused by the last minute
"In a way, this is your first day back, without being fully back yet," Beth spoke with mystery as she guided me down the hall
45 minutes later we walked in a tall building. Yet we didn't have to go up any floors. We remained on the first floor. Two hallways down, one security later and we entered the main center of 911. The main call operation center. This was the same dispatch center that calls us and tell us where to go next.
At a quick glance, I counted at least 20 big monitors. All the tables were placed by the walls. The middle of the room was empty. There were people on their phones, giving instruction to people in distress, informing police, fire and paramedics of new cases, telling them were to go next.
We were greeted by the main person in charge. He was an older guy, guessing half-Asain. Looked madly professional. He new our names, as mom said he was expecting us.
After a brief chat, it turned out, that Captain (suggested by Amy as I was told by Beth) had organized one half day for us to spend here, with the dispatch operators so that we would know a little bit more about their job. Learn how it is to really be the first operator. It was sort of a learning day. Over the course of the day we will meet the people behind the voices, hear their stories, learn about their days, about their jobs and get to know them better and get to know also this part of the job.
Phone rang and a woman, with long, dark red hair who had been laughing about something with a co-worker who sat right next to her, quickly answered in a serious manner "911-what's your emergency!"
And just like that, I felt that adrenaline rush through my body that I felt like I had been missing for months.