Callie POV
Music was blasting loud through my apartment. Wearing just my socks, underwear and an oversize t-shirt – I slid across the hallway floor singing at the top of my lungs the chorus of the song that I was dancing to for the last two minutes "-you shook me all night long-"
As I jumped into the kitchen, I did the air guitar and then sung out the next line, as I set my eyes on what I came to kitchen for. The fridge.
With a little bounce to my step and still muttering the lyrics to the song to myself, I opened the fridge and took out the ingredients I needed to make myself a sandwich.
I knew it wasn't too healthy to have just a cold sandwich as dinner, but I assured myself by saying that this was just one time thing. And it was. It really was. Usually, I prepared a hot meal for myself or heated up leftovers from previous day. On rare occasions I liked to order in pizza or sushi or any other fast food. But just as it was going to be with the sandwich I was about to make, I made sure to only allow myself to be this lazy just once in a week.
I leaned down to check what I had in my fridge that I could use on top of a sandwich when the doorbell rang.
Closing the fridge, I stood back up and looked down the hallway to the front doors. It was late, like 8pm-ish late. I certainly wasn't excepting anyone.
I walked up to the doors and leaned in to see through the peep hole, who it was and most importantly, if I needed to put on pants and possibly even my bra back on to talk to the person.
Cooper was standing on the other side of the door. At first, looking down to the floor, then up and to the staircase as he waited for me to answer the doors. He was wearing what I recognized as his home shirt. I had never seen him wear the shirt out of the house before. But he did have his jeans on. Must be an unplanned visit from his part as well.
Quickly, I reached for the bolt and unlocked the doors "Hey- " I grabbed him by his tricep and pulled him into the apartment, before he could even greet me back
"Sorry, I don't have pants on," I explained myself for the strange behavior as I locked the doors behind him
"Hi," Cooper stuttered a little after that small encounter. He shook his head, snapping out of it "What are you up to?" he asked, as he followed me back into the kitchen. I was eager to get that sandwich done. Hadn't had anything to eat since dinner, which today happened to be around 12.
"Nothing much, just making dinner," I shrugged going back to the fridge and taking out cheese, ham and butter that I had set my eyes on before he had showed up
I looked over my shoulder and saw him leaning at the doorway with his arms crossed on his chest "That's your dinner?" he questioned, some worry laced in his voice. Even saw the famous right eyebrow raise. I had seen that eyebrow raise quite often during my recovery, when I was trying to skip a set or cheat on reps. He always caught me as he always counted it himself to make sure I get the full workout.
"This is a judge free zone," I gestured around the kitchen giving him a look "I didn't really feel like making anything tonight. Feel kind of tired."
"So, AC/DC is your – this will help me wind down and put me to bed – kind of music?" Cooper pointed over his shoulder to the living room, where my laptop that played the music stood. The song I was singing out and dancing to had ended, but the next song in the album had picked up.
I squinted my eyes at him, trying to think of any sassy or quirky remark, but all I came up with was a simple and quick "Shut up," as I turned around and opened the drawer to find a knife
Didn't hear him approach, but as I reached out for a knife, Cooper placed his hand over mine "How about I heat up our leftovers at the house?"
I patted his hand with my other hand and then lifted his hand up "Don't worry. This is not what I usually eat for dinner, okay? I'm just too tired tonight to make anything different. Had a long day at work. This was one time thing, I promise. You can tell mom I'm eating 3 times a day."
I got the knife out and reached for the bread.
"It's not that-" Cooper said leaning against the counter, partially blocking the surface I was about to cut on
"What is it, then?" I asked, then remembered I had forgotten to ask him "Wait? Why are you here?"
Cooper tilted his head down. His behavior was like nothing I had ever seen before from him. He certainly looked concerned. Worry started to grow inside of me.
"It's your mom," he paused and looked up to me "I think she needs you."
"Is she okay?" I questioned setting the knife down and forgetting completely about the sandwich I planning on making a second ago. My growling stomach will have to wait a little bit longer
"Yeah," Cooper replied instantly and nodded "No, she's good. She's not hurt or anything like that. She's just...she had a rough day."
"On the job?" I asked, already knowing the answer to that question. Cooper nodded his head.
"What happened?"
"She didn't go into any details, but uh, she had to arrest a kid and I guess," Cooper took a breath in and sighed as he scratched the back of head "From what she told me...it just got to her. I asked her about it, but she wasn't ready to talk about it in detail, so I didn't push. I just made her a bath, put one of those bath-ball...salt-things in. Poured her a glass of wine and put on some relaxing music, before I came to see you."
"Why didn't she call me? Or text me?" I wondered out loud
"She didn't want to worry you or bother you," Cooper answered as if he had already asked Amy the same question and got the answer "I know how that sounds-trust me. I gave her the same look you are giving me right now."
"Well, guess who sounds like 14 year old foster kid now," I muttered back, upset that she didn't reach out to me. It was like our roles had reversed all of a sudden. Now, for some reason, she doesn't want to bother or worry me. That used to be my go-to line. I didn't understand why she was using it now instead.
If I had learned one thing from growing up with Amy is that I was never a bother and I should reach out to her, whenever I needed. No matter how big or small the issue at hand was. Day or night. She was my mom and she was always going to be there for me. No matter what. Now the time has come for me to be there for her. It's not that I felt obligated to be there for her, as if she has earned it somehow and now was time to pay her back. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to help her with whatever was weighting down on her.
"Okay, let's go," I said quickly putting away everything I took out of the fridge "You can heat the leftovers for me."
I went straight to hallway to put on my shoes, when Cooper said from the kitchen "Pants, Callie. Put on some pants, please."
~0~0~0~
"I'm going to give you two some space," Cooper said, when I had put my foot on the first step "I'll be downstairs if you need me."
I looked over my shoulder to Cooper. Duke had walked up to him, pressed to his right leg. He was petting the dog, slightly leaned down to reach his side, while still keeping his eyes on me.
To think I once feared that this man was going to take away my mom from me. He has always known, when to take a step and give us some time. Mom was lucky to have him. I was lucky to have him, because he understood how important mom and I were to each other.
I lifted my foot down and turned back to him "Thank you, for coming to get me."
Cooper briefly looked down to Duke, then back up to me. He smiled at me, nodded upstairs and simply said "Your mom needs you."
I smiled back and walked upstairs.
The bathroom doors were open. Amy was not in it. It did smell nice in there. Like some sort of flower, but I couldn't place it. It was sweet, but not overwhelmingly sickening. And fresh, like the smell of spring. An empty wine glass stood on the side of the sink. The wet towel hung up. The mirror was fogged up, but I saw that mom had ran her hand one time over it to clear it so she could see herself in the reflection.
I checked their bedroom, but she wasn't there as well. As I was standing in the middle of moms bedroom, I heard a sound coming from the other side of the wall. I turned my head to look at it – the wall that connected to Markus room.
Walking back out to the hallway, I noticed that the doors to Markus room were just slightly open and there was light shining through that open door. I hadn't really looked at the room before, when I walked upstairs. Amy enters the room so rarely. Usually only the day of the accident. But it was still a few weeks out.
"Mom?" I pushed the doors open lightly, not wanting to startle her. I was also worried in what state of mind she was in. Some times, she's in this mood, where she doesn't want to talk or even see anyone. Let alone allow someone else in the room.
"Callie?" Mom looked over her shoulder. She was kneeled down by Markus desk. There was carton box next to her and Markus desk drawers were pulled out. Looked like she was cleaning his desk. It was a strange time to do it. Wondered what brought it on as she had never spoken about cleaning Markus room out ever before. This seemed very much out of the blue.
She wiped at her face and turned to face me, still kneeling on the floor "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, but…"
"Cooper came by. Said you had a rough day at work," I said as I approached her and sat down on the floor in front of her
"Oh, it's nothing-" Amy brushed it off and looked down
"Don't do that. Please," I said softly and reached out to take her hand. A small smile appeared on her lips, but just as quickly as it appeared, it also disappeared.
"Cooper mentioned that you had to arrest a kid," I probed the subject gently, not wanting to be too harsh
Mom raised her head and stared to my eyes. I could see she was trying to decide what to do. Share or not. What happened was clearly weighting heavy on her, but it was also obvious, like Cooper had said, she didn't want to bother me about it. Yet, here she was, by the looks of it, actually wanting to talk about it.
Her mouth opened and closed a few times. She was looking for words, ways how to start. I was patient, giving her the time that she needs.
She turned her head sideways to look away from, pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. When she opened them and look back at me, she said "She reminded me...of you,"
"Oh," I breathed out quietly "Was she a-"
"Foster kid?" Mom finished the thought in my place. I nodded my head.
"Yes, yes she was. She was-" Mom licked her lower lip and looked to me "acting all tough, even thought she was all scared underneath that thick skin of hers."
It was obvious to me, we both were thinking about the same thing. The time when mom and I met. There were definitely some parallels that could be drawn from her meeting me and this kid, she was telling me about. I could see how the kid had reminded me of her. The one main thing, however, is that there was no Mark, instead her partner is Stef. Which in my eyes, made the whole situation a little better. Stef, just like mom, had a big heart. I can say this, even thought I have only talked to mom about it, they both saw through that tough skin the girl was showing. They both saw, that underneath it, there was a kid, who just needed some love. Someone to care about them. Gives them a chance. The girl wasn't a lost cause or broken or damaged or whatever other people might say. She simply needed some guidance, some parental figure in her life. I had no idea, how long she had been alone in the foster care – but it was long enough for her to think that she was alone and on her own and needed to act all tough. While in truth, it was just a facade to protect yourself.
"What did she do?" I asked curious as to what had the kid done. Not only that, but it would further explain why the kid had reminded her of me
"Stole a sandwich from the store. Ate it on the spot, right in front of the shopkeeper and then ran, when Stef and I arrived," mom said the last part slowly. That just made the situation even more worse. The choice of the stolen object was clearly odd to say the least. Not really something worth stealing to begin with. The fact that she ate it right in front of the shopkeeper seemed bold. As if she had wanted to get caught, wanted for the shopkeeper to call the police. But then running, once the police actually arrived – it was like she was trying to add more stuff to the charges. Resisting an arrest will clearly do that.
The memory of the first time going to buy groceries with Amy popped back into my mind. It had been just some month into me living with the Scott's. Amy had picked me up after school. It was the one time when Aaron had gone on a small two day business trip to San Francisco. Markus was at a football practice, that's why I remember that it was Thursday.
I sat in the passenger side, gripping my backpack in my lap and chewing my lip, as I had realized, this was not the road to the Scott residence. I peaked a look over my shoulder to the backseat to see if there was my blue duffle bag, waiting for me. My first thought was that she was going to drop me off at the Juvenile Detention facility or a group home. It certainly would not surprise me with how much we have been butting heads and I have been challenging her.
It hadn't taken Amy long to notice, how I had reacted to her not taking me straight home after school
"Don't worry. We just need to go buy some groceries," she explained very casually as she checked the side mirror before making a maneuver
5 minutes later we had been walking through the grocery store. Amy had pulled a list out of her pocket. It was quite a long one, actually. She had to unfold the paper two times to see the complete list. Amy was pushing the car herself, I was just walking next to her. Time by time she had asked me to grab something from a shelf by my right. And I did. Took it and neatly put it down in the cart, just like she had asked.
"Markus wanted cookies-" Amy mumbled to herself as she turned to the shelf trying to locate the brand her son had asked for. While she was busy looking for them, I had turned to face the shelf on the other side of the isle.
It was the candy and sweet shelf. The packages all colorful, they certainly caught my eyes. Can't actually remember when was the last time I ate a sweet, like gummy bears or candy corn or even just a plain and simple milk chocolate. Just by looking at the big milk chocolate with hazel nuts wrapping, my mouth watered. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Amy was still busy with the cookies.
I looked both ways to see if there were other people in the isle. Just an old lady at the far side, she probably doesn't even see this far.
I took a small step closer to the chocolate bars. My fingers itched. I started to fidget. Wanted to taste the chocolate so badly. But I knew, I was no where near the place, where I could just go ahead and ask my foster mother for stuff. Chocolate was an extra. It was something everyone could live without. I could already hear her say "We don't need this." There was only one way for me to get it. I had to take it myself.
Nervously, looked over my shoulder to my foster mom again. She was still trying to decide which cookies to take. Looking down at the list, then back up at the shelf.
"Don't be greedy," I told myself as I moved my eyes from the big chocolate bar to the small one, next to it. It would also be much easier to lift and pocket. Might be even simpler to get it out unnoticed. I could just say I bought it at school cafeteria.
Looked to my left, there was no one there. On my right, the old lady was slowly starting to move closer. If I was about to do it, I had to do it now. My heart was racing.
Quickly, I grabbed the small chocolate bar and slid it into my pocket. As I turned to my left, I flinched back seeing that Amy was standing right next to me. Looking at me. The look in her eyes, told me that she was it all. I was about to receive the beating of my lifetime, when we get back to the house.
She extended her arm out. Her fingers moved a little, suggesting I should give it over to her.
I reached in the pocket and took the small chocolate bar out and handed it over to her. In shame I tilted my head down. My shoulders went up a bit as I pulled my head into them, trying to be as small as possible and also to try and protect myself from the beating.
"Look at me," Amy said sternly
It took me a few seconds till I finally found the courage to do just that "We do not steal! Stealing is bad."
"I'm sorry," I stuttered out
"If you want something, you can just ask for it. Okay?" I was taken aback by her statement "The chances are, if its something like food, clothes, books, some small gadget or whatever, Aaron or I will buy it for you. You do not steal. Not from here, not from us, not from anyone else. Understood?"
I nodded my head actively, trying to get her to see that I understood.
"I asked-" she started, but as soon as she did, I understood my mistake. For the Scott's – communication was important. It wasn't enough that I nod my head, I needed to voice it.
"I understood. I'm sorry. It won't happen again,"
"Good," Amy said satisfied with my answer "So?" she waved the chocolate in the air a little bit
I glanced towards it, then back to her, not sure what she was excepting me from me.
"Do you want some chocolate?" Amy asked a moment later
Truth be told, I did not feel very comfortable about asking stuff from her. Especially now, right after I had just been caught red handed trying to steel it.
"Um…" I licked my licks and swallowed
"Simple yes or no will do, honey. Don't overthink it,"
"Yes," I said in a small voice
"Do you want this one?" She glanced towards the one in her hand that she was still holding out and then nodded towards the shelf "Or some other flavor?"
I peaked a quickly at the ones on the shelf, but didn't dare to truly spend the time to see what other choices there were. I had taken the one that I remember liking from my days before foster care. I remember melting the chocolate in my mouth long enough for only the hazel nut to remain. It was like two treats in one.
"I like this one," I admitted gingerly "With hazel-nuts."
Amy set the small chocolate bar back in the shelf. Of course, I kicked myself mentally. By saying I liked it, she will now probably look for one that I do not like. To punish me. I should have known it.
I watched as Amy picked up the big chocolate bar. She waved it a bit in the air and smiled at me, before setting the chocolate bar in the cart "Remember, honey, you can ask for stuff if you want something. You don't have to steal."
That was the very first time and till recently, when I did that stupid thing under the drugs, also the last time, I had tried to steal something. I was proud of my foster kid times, because I never did try to steal anything else after that time Amy had caught me.
Still, comparing my story with the girls mom was telling me about, it felt a lot different. I had tried to steal it, because I wanted it, the girl, in my mind, did it because she had to. As if she had no other choice.
"We had to chase her down," Mom continued to explain what hat happened earlier today "Turned out it wasn't her first offense. She had had previous run ins with the law. Small offenses, nothing too serious. Just, that...she was on the radar. In different precincts."
Translation – she has moved around a lot. Probably not her choice. She was probably going from one foster home to other. Same as I had. Her trouble with the law, was most likely her acting out from the neglect at the foster homes, lack of parental figures in her life and guidance.
"Anyway, tomorrow she's going to face a judge and possibly be put in juvie," Mom said
Now that she said that, it definitely felt like a plan to me. That would be one way to get taken out of a house. To get a much needed distance from people who abuse you. Even though she would be locked up, she would be safe. That's how I had felt, when mom had arrested me. I didn't really care that I will have to spend a few months locked up. All I cared about was to get away from Liam. Away from that house. The horrible memories and people who I did not trust. The small cell was a lot safer than the Olmstead's house had ever felt.
"It sounds to me, she desperately wanted to get out of the current foster home,"
"Just like you did," Mom said staring into my eyes, in a scary realization manner. It didn't necessary mean that the girl was being sexually abused there. But it definitely seemed that the living situation was bad enough that she wanted out. And was willing to give up her freedom to do it. That spoke volume. Louder than any words.
"Yeah," I said in a slow manner
Silence fell upon us as we both thought about the conclusion we had both come to just now.
"What does this mean for you?" I asked
"What do you mean?" Mom asked perplexed by my question
"Well," I reached for the carton box next to mom and pulled it a bit closer to me so that I could see inside of it. I looked over my shoulder and saw that some of Markus old clothes were put in piles on the bed. The bed that had been finally made. The sheets had been taken off and they were on the pile by the bed itself.
"It looks to me, that you are...packing Markus stuff. Clearing the room, maybe?"
Mom surveyed the room, but didn't say anything for a while. She looked around the room for quite a few seconds. Seemed as if she had done that, without even realizing it herself why she did it. Until now that is. When I had made her to face the truth.
"The house feels empty without you," She met my gaze "I'm happy for you. That you're living independently. Very happy for you. Proud of the life you have built yourself, of what you have achieved," she said and looked down to the box of Markus stuff by her side
"But the house feels empty without you," mom repeated after a long pause "It feels like something is missing."
She was quiet again for a long time, her gaze set somewhere in the distance, over my shoulder. I think I noticed tears whelm up in her eyes a little bit. But she blinked a few times and then they were gone.
"I have to talk to Cooper about the girl, don't I?"
"I think you do."