Callie POV

"I would like us to return to a topic that we paused a while back," My psychiatrist, Lisa Owens, said as she placed her palms over her notebook after she finished scribbling something down on it. She looked to be around the same age as Amy. Lisa was tall, slim. Pencil skirt, blouse and heels were here go to look and she always looked very good, very professional. Her blond hair was pulled into a bun, but her reading glasses were put on top of her head.

I had been seeing her for over a year now. Started to see her after I got out of the rehab, after my search for adrenaline. Cooper was the one who suggested her as some of his patients had been seeing her and she not only had feedback from his clients, but also online. Her specially was substance use, just what I needed.

"Okay," I said, not really sure how I should feel about it. I had said so many thing to her, discussed so many topics, fears, worries. She could bring up anything.

"How do you feel about your scars?"

At her question, my fingers touched the scarred skin on my arm and traced it back and forth. I still don't like the feel of it, but at least I had gotten used to it.

"Do you still feel ugly?" Lisa was not calling me ugly, it was the word that I had used when we had spoken about it. She had asked me how I would describe the scars and I had simply replied with a single word - ugly.

"No," I shook my head without looking up from my scar "Now I just hate that I stand out. Like someone could call out to me - you, with the scars - and even if I would be standing with another 20 people, everyone would know who is being called or who is being pointed at."

"Has that happened?"

I nodded my head "A few times. Sometimes I hear some kids I walk by ask their mom, why my skin looks like that or why do I have scars like that. And I guess that's not exactly what bothers me, because kids are curious. They are often times very blunt, because they don't know any better. They just say things the way they are. But when grown ass men make comments like that it just...I don't know...like how stupid are you? Obviously I got hurt. Obviously these are burn scars, so fire. Like just... leave me alone."

Dr. Owens raised her head a little and I already got the hint.

"I was in the store, checking out this one summer dress, when a group of guys walked by and made a stupid comment like that. It doesn't matter. They were probably already tipsy and in group they usually act even more stupider than they are."

"It seems like the words stuck with you,"

I nodded back "I guess they did. I don't want them to, but I can't do anything about it. I brushed it off then. I kept telling myself that they don't matter. That their words don't matter. They were just walking by, I will never see them in my life ever again. That I shouldn't be bothered by their words, because I'm-" I stopped abruptly not being able to say it out loud. The word just caught up in my throat. It got stuck to my tongue. It was like I didn't know how to say it, how to pronounce it. It felt foreign. Still. And it has been months.

My mom tells me every day.

Cooper tells me every day.

Stef and Lena reminds me every time I see them.

Beth reminds me every time we go out and she finds me doubting myself.

Issac tells me every time we meet up.

You are beautiful - but still I don't feel it.

"You are beautiful, Callie. Scars and everything," Dr. Owens said from across the room

I rubbed the back of my neck, tilted my head back and took a deep breath in and out. This one thought lingered in my mind and I couldn't bring it to stop. The more I tried to forget about it, the more I started to think about it.

"What are you thinking?" Dr. Owens of course picked up on it. She was very keen on these things, when I had something I wanted to say, but I was too scared to say it out loud. It was as if a little light had turned on by my side that I could not see, but she could.

I looked out the window and pondered for a few seconds "I was raped when I was 14," I said nonchalant as I looked back at my therapist.

Her lips parted in shock, but other than that she did not display any other reaction. Slowly she took her pen and scribbled in her notes without taking her eyes off me as I had continued to speak.

"After I was rapped I didn't feel...that...as well," I gestured with my hand when I reference the word "It feels the same way. I feel broken. Like a vase you drop down and it shatters and then some glues it back together, but you still see the seems. The places it shattered. No one wants that vase. People want new vases, not the damaged ones. The ones that look shiny and new, undamaged."

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and read the text. Usually its strictly no phones during sessions, but I had informed Dr. Owens that there was a big fire spreading and there is a possibility that its going to turn into all hands on deck situation to contain it. Meaning everyone available needs to come in and help.

"The fire at the chemical factory just got upgraded to five alarm," I informed her as I was getting "I have to go."

Dr. Owens stood up as I walked away "I will see you in a week. Same time."

"Sure," I replied walking out

~0~0~

8 hours later the fire was out. We had to make multiple trips to hospitals, carrying mostly firefighters that had gotten hurt while trying to contain the fire. Thankfully, none was from our firehouse and in the end there were no casualties.

After a hot shower at the firehouse to wash up the dust, sweat, blood and must, I found myself in Issac's bed. This time I had been the one that had texted for a hook up.

At this point, I was no longer convinced that Issac and I were just friends with benefits. The casual hooking up has gone on for few months now. I had not counted the specific amount, but on average we hooked up at least 2 or 3 times a week. More often we met at his place than mine. As far as I knew, Issac was not seeing anyone else. Neither was I. After the casual sex, we always stayed for a while. Sometimes ordered in food, other times one of cooked something. It was never just do the deed and be gone. It always turned into something bigger.

"The food is gonna be here any minute. We should get some clothes on," Issac said as he ran his finger gently over my spine. The blanket only covered me up to my middle.

"I'm good," I said turning my head to face him. He was laid down on his right side, head propped up on his palm.

"As much as I like the idea of us staying naked in the bed, tacos is not the best food to eat in bed,"

"I hate how rational you are," I buried my head in the pillow. The doorbell rang. Issac kissed my shoulder before getting out of bed and putting his sweatpants on. I watched how he grabbed his shirt from the ground as he walked out. Sighting, I sat on the bed side and started to get dressed myself.

I heard Issac talk. The delivery guy must be real chatty. Probably was fishing for bigger tip.

I grabbed my wallet from my backpack and walked out of the bedroom, checking how much I could offer as a tip "I have like 10 dollars and few cents I can spare for the tip," I had switched to cards and barely carried any cash on me.

I stopped in my tracks and looked up at Issac saying my name.

Dr. Owens stood in the hallway next to Issac. Her palm resting on his upper arm. It seemed casual. Normal. Both parties seemed comfortable with it. I, however, was not. I frowned not sure what was happening. How was she here? All kinds of questions ran through my mind as I stared at them, stared at Dr. Owens.

Dr. Owens looked at me and I saw in her eyes surprise as well, she turned to Issac before she took her hand away from his arm.

"Dr. Owens?" I stuttered out, taking a tiny step back

Dr. Owens looked back to me, still looking just as surprised as I was "Callie?"

"You know each other?" Issac looked between us

"W-W-What are-?" I was having trouble forming words, finally lowering my wallet and the money I was holding

"Callie, meet my mom Lisa. Mom, this is Callie, the woman I told you about."

"Mom? Dr. Owens is your mother? But your surname-"

"I did not change my surname, when I married Issac father," Dr. Owens simply explained

"Oh God," I muttered quietly to myself as I closed my eyes "This can't be happening."

"How do you know each other?" Issac asked as I was having a tiny panic moment, trying to wrap around my head that I was fucking my therapists son. But that was nothing, compared to the fact that Issac's mother new things about me that I hadn't shared with anyone and other very private and sensitive information about me. Just this morning I told her I was raped, its a fact that Issac, the guy I was sleeping with, didn't even know. I've cried my eyes out in her office as I talked about my addiction and the bombing and what I put my mom through. All of a sudden I like I was under a magnifying glass. I wanted to crawl under a bed or run away and never look back.

"Callie is my client," Dr. Owens told her son. Her answer was discreet, but it still felt like it was too much. She gave away too much. I would rather her not answer him at all.

But with that logic, Issac would be left alone to guess. And he is not a stupid guy. He would most likely figure it out and would still ask either me or his mom for conformation, which I assume, his mother would give him.

"Oh," Issac breathed out and turned to look at me. I blinked back at him, my lips apart just slightly, as if I was going to tell him something. Only I wasn't. I didn't know what to do, what to say. Were my secrets safe with her? Did I need to find a new therapist or new guy to casually hook up with?

Now, as they both of their eyes were on me, in addition to everything I felt before, I also also started to feel as if I standing in front of them completely naked and exposed. I hadn't felt this vulnerable in a long time. One touch, a wind breeze, one feather added to my weight and I will break.

"Callie-" Dr. Owens spoke up, shattering me. It was all it took. No idea what she wanted to say to me, but I knew for sure, that I do not want to hear it. Whatever it is, I don't care.

"I have to go," I said in a panic and ran to the room to grab the rest of my stuff

"What? But we ordered food-" Issac followed me

"I can't-" I tossed the wallet in my bag, put on my shoes and grabbed my sweater from the floor "Your mom-" I gestured to the other room, then tossed the bag over my shoulder "She knows things. About me. And I...I can't-"

"Callie, can you stop for a moment," Issac said as I barged pass him "Can we talk?" I don't even look at Dr. Owens, I walk quickly with my head down. My goal was very simple, get as far away from here as soon as possible.

"I would rather not be here, when you two discuss me," I pull open the front doors and almost run into someone, when I take a step to get out - the delivery guy. The guy looked surprised that the doors had opened without even him ringing the bell. But he was quick to get his composure back.

"Taco delivery," He said with a bright smile and raised up the brown paper bag that had Issac's name written on top. I ran by him without saying anything.

"Callie, wait!" Issac called after me as I ran down the hallway

Issac called me 3 times before I turned off my phone completely. I did not want to talk about. I did not want to be reached right now. I had just gotten off additional shift so I knew no one from work will try to find me as well.

About an hour later, I had finally reached my destination. The one place Issac didn't know about yet, where he couldn't find me. The house. I eyed the grey Audi parked on the street by the house. Did not recognize the car. But just because the car was parked near the house, didn't mean the people were inside our house. I heard Duke barking from the house, when I approached the house.

When I opened the front doors, Duke started to whimper and jump around from happiness to see me. His tail was wiggling so hard. I dropped down to my keens and rubbed his belly, petted him and scratched behind his ears for a solid 5 minutes. I hadn't seen Duke in a few days and I really missed him. If I had a bigger place and Duke wasn't such a big, fluffy boy and my schedules wasn't so crazy I would have loved to have him live with me. But I knew, Duke was better off in the house. Where Cooper and mom both looked after him, could take him for walks regularly and where he had more room to be. I hated the idea of him being all cooped in my my apartment, alone for most of the time.

"Okay, enough...enough for now. We will go for a walk later on, okay?" I talked to him as I slowly got up to my feet. As I listed, I heard some talking and footsteps coming from upstairs. When I walked to the kitchen to wash my hands, I noticed there was something preparing in the oven and it smelled so good, my mouth watered. By my attention was grabbed by the pile of documents on the kitchen table and 3 cups.

I stopped by the kitchen table, curious about the papers. They were in maps and folders and I couldn't see what they were about. For a moment I thought about moving the files to see what it was about, but then I saw a figure walk pass window. So I moved to the kitchen sink, opened the tap and started to wash my hands as the figures now were by the back doors. I recognized Coopers voice as one of them, the other I had not heard before.

"-it might have been an overkill, but I like it. I was wanting to upgrade it for a long time. And this new grill is amazing, I really recommend it." Cooper said as the back doors opened and they walked through the door

"I will be sure to check it out. It does look very good, The unknown man replied to Cooper

"Callie! Hey," Cooper saw me and walked over to me to give me a quick, small peck to my temple "Amy didn't tell me you would come over today."

"Mom doesn't know as well. It was a spare of the moment thing," I said drying my hands

Cooper then remembered about his guest, who had walked over to the kitchen table and sat down by the pile of documents "Oh, Ervin, this is our daughter Callie." Cooper introduced us. I walked a step closer and reached over the table to shake his hand "Callie, this is Ervin - he's from CPS."

"CPS stands for-"

"Child Protective Services," I say it before he could "I know."

It's been years and I am out of the system for years, but the feeling of CPS or Social workers or whatever state worker in the house always makes me wary. The trauma of being taken away from homes only to be put into worse homes, still lingers in the back of my head. I doubt that it will every fully leave me.

Ervin looked surprised "Not a lot of young people know that."

"Callie's adopted," Cooper replied, then turned to me "Ervin took over for Bill. There was some kind of situation with one of the other kids."

"Arrested, hospitalized, run away or died?"

"Umm..." Ervin dragged out

"I know, I know - you can't disclose that information. Sorry, I asked. So...is it finally happening?" I addressed the question to Cooper

Coopers grinned back "Amy is showing her her room as we speak."

"You're going to be an amazing foster father," I beamed back and gave him a hug

"How do you know that?" Cooper wrapped one arm around me

"Because you're amazing dad," I said as I moved out of the hug. I might not thought of him like that at first, but over the years he has done nothing but prove to me what an amazing father figure he is. He's been by my side, by moms side through it all, even when he had no obligation to be. He helps, he cares. Always one call away. He's everything a father should be.

"That means a lot, Callie," I saw him getting teary eyed for a second there

I recognized moms footsteps as she came down the stairs. Heard doors being shut close upstairs - it sounded like bathroom.

"Look who's here!" Cooper gestured to me, when mom hadn't even stepped a foot in the kitchen.

"Oh, hi! I wasn't expecting to see you today," mom came over and gave me a quick hug. When she leaned out, she looked me up and down. She rested her palm softly on my cheek as she studied me "We will talk later, okay?" I hadn't even said anything, but I didn't have to. She read me like an open book.

"So!" Amy turned to Ervin, while I leaned back at the counter to watch them

"I need both of your signatures here, here and here," Ervin pointed with a pen to the 3 places. Cooper and mom both went to it.

A minute or two later Ervin gathered his files and stood up "And that's it! We're done here for now. First check up is in 3 months-" A chuckle had accidentally slipped out from me, but Ervin continued, mom gave me a look, Cooper looked confused at why I had laughed. Ervin finished his final monologue and they both walked him out, leaving behind a file, that I was now sure, contained all of the girls history in foster care system, personal information and medical records.

While they walked him out, I started to set the table for 4 people. Moved the file to a drawer, away from everyone's eyes. The girl does not need to see how thick her file was. The food might not be ready in 5 minutes, but the table needs to be set nevertheless. If I was here, I might as well help as much as I can.

I was pouring orange juice in my cup, when Cooper and Amy walked back, talking "- to get her a full physical check as soon as possible. I will call our family doctor, see if she can squeeze her in tomorrow."

"Is that really the top priority? To get her to a doctor tomorrow?" Cooper did not sound convinced it was the right thing to do, it was close to 8pm.

"Callie, do you mind telling Cooper what happened on the first night you stayed here?" Mom asked as she looked up from her phone

"Pneumothorax. I fainted in the shower, ended up in the hospital with a chest tube," I said and raised the glass up to take a sip of the orange juice

"What?" Cooper rested his hands on the back of the kitchen chair "Really?"

"The juvie and CPS didn't think we need to know that she got beaten up few hours before being released," Mom explained not taking her eyes off the phone "Or they didn't think it was important enough information to share. So yes, we need to get her to a doctor to do a full check up. I'm not making the same mistake I did with Callie."

"It wasn't your mistake!" I called after mom as she walked out with a phone up to her ear, making the call "I put her file in there for now," I informed Cooper before I forget, in case he wanted to look at her file.

"You got beaten up in Juvie the day on your release? Why? How?" Cooper didn't seem that interested in the file, for now at least.

"It's actually quite common. The other kids get jealous that you are leaving."

"She doesn't have any bruises that I could see..."

"Barely anyone ever does. And I am not just talking about the Juvie. Abusers knows where to hit you. All mom saw, when she picked me up, was a small bruise on my cheek and a split lip."

"Oh god," Cooper lover his head to his forearms as he exhaled, it looked as if I had sucked punched all air out of him "Don't do this to me Callie."

"Sorry,"

"No, no, no," Cooper stood up straight and ran his hands over his face "Don't apologize. I'm just...I just trying to wrap my head around all of this. This is all...so new to me. You and Amy, you both know the ins and outs of...this...thing. You know the system. How it operates. What to look out for. What questions to ask. And I just feel like...I feel..."

"Like a probie?"

"Yeah," Cooper nodded his head

"That's okay. Soon you will hate the system just as much as we do," I smirked at him

Cooper chuckled "I know how these thing happen, but when I look at you and I look at her-" Cooper gestured towards the stairs "I still can't wrap my head around how anyone would ever want to hurt you. You were just a kid. She's just a kid! She's barely 14. But her eyes...Callie. Her eyes..."

"They have seen it all," Amy said surprising us both. She was leaning at the wall by the entrance. She wiggles the phone "Tomorrow morning, she can squeeze us in at 9:30."

"Doesn't the clinic open at 10?" Cooper asked

"It does. I explained the situation and she was kind enough to open the clinic a bit sooner just for us."

Mom walked to the table and sat down, she placed the phone down "So?" she looked at me, while Cooper went to check the food in the oven

"It's a long story. It can wait."

"Give me the short version then," Mom said and pushed the chair next to me with her feet further away from the kitchen table, telling me to sit down

I slumped down the in the chair, trying to thing how to explain the situation to her "Dr. Owens is the mother of the guy that I am...hookup up with casually."

"The Issac guy?" Mom asked "The 911 dispatcher?"

"Yes."

"Well...that's something new," It was rare that mom could be left so shocked

"Yep,"

The conversation was cut short as light, slow footsteps were coming down the stairs. I heard the girl quietly talking to Duke. The rhythmic thud sound against the floor suggested that Duke was wiggling his tail, the girl must have stopped at Duke to pet him.

Mom leaned back in the chair and looked down the hallway. I watched how mom smiled at the girl as she slowly made her way towards the kitchen. She had been given one of my old shirts and leggings. The shirt was a bit too big for her, her hands were hidden behind the sleeves. Her hair was still wet, it had left wet patches on the shoulder area of the shirt. Bare feet.

I recognized her even though her hair was much shorter than the last time I saw her. I will never forget those green eyes as he had looked at me, while walking away.

Was mom and Cooper aware of it? Was it in her file or was it kept quiet? And the million dollar question is, do I tell them if they don't?

Mom got up from the chair and walked up to her side. I saw the mental struggle mom went through just now by wanting to touch the girls shoulder, but stopping herself before she did "Kim, this is our daughter Callie. Callie, meet Kim. Callie doesn't live in the house anymore, but you will probably see her stop by quite often."

I wasn't going to say anything right now, because this wasn't the time or place. Neither does it look like she recognized me. So I just raised my hand up, giving a small wave to her "Hi. It's nice to meet you." I said, but once the introduction was made, mom walked out. Kim remained standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, looking around, unsure where she should go next or do next.

I pointed to her glass "What do you want to drink?" I asked getting up from my chair ready to fetch her the desired drink "Orange juice, milk, sparking or still water, tea, hot cocoa?"

"Orange juice," Kim sat down at the table, keeping her palms pressed between her knees

I poured her a glass and set it in front of her. Cooper meanwhile was taking out whatever he had been making in the oven.

Mom walked back in with a towel, sock and slippers "Here, honey. Put these on, the floor can be very cold sometimes," Amy handed Kim the socks and slippers, who took them without any protest. Once her feet were warm, Amy asked "Can I put this towel around your shoulders? Your hair is still wet..."

I smiled at the interaction, at moms nurturing way. In a strange way, it felt like I was watching a rewind with myself. I recognized myself in Kim. In her mannerism. In the pain that was hidden behind her eyes. In the way how she was looking around, trying to get a feel for the new place, her new home. And I wondered, which house this was for her? I wanted to tell her - spoiler alert, this will probably be the last foster home for you. But this was her life, she needed to experience it in her own way. I can't speed it up for her.

For the first time, I am on the other side. This is certainly going to be interesting as I only ever know the role of foster kid.