[Scene: Detention. Umino watches Eleanor Heltry pound on her keyboard a couple of rows ahead of him]
Umino: So what are you in for?
[El ignores him as she continues typing. Umino sighs. He takes out his homework but he typically gets straight A's without needing to study so he's bored out of his mind. He creeps up behind El so he can watch what she's doing.]
[She's plotting out a circuit board on a CAD program. When she sees Umino's reflection on the screen she slams the laptop shut.]
El: DO YOU MIND?
Umino: Is that for your laser?
El: [stunned] What laser?
Umino: The laser you were working on in our computer class. I know a thing or two about optical physics, you know. In fact, I know a thing or two about everything.
El: Well, that's no surprise, you nosy little spaz. Why don't back to your seat and mind your own business for once?
Umino: [going back to his seat] Fine. But I was just going to point out that you can streamline your design by approximately 48% if you use a simple knife switch.
[El opens her laptop and does a doubletake.]
Umino: [starting on his homework] …never use an electronic solution for a mechanical problem, that's what I always say…
[When she's done she picks up her laptop, and goes to sit next to Umino.]
El: There, what do you think?
Umino: Yes, much better. And I see you've also optimized your wiring, which, nine times out of ten carries the greatest risk of failure.
El: [Holds out her hand to him] I'm Eleanor Heltry.
Umino: Yeah, I know.
[El smiles expectedly with her hand held out, which confuses Umino]
El: This is the part where you shake my hand, and tell me who you are.
Umino: [shakes her hand, baffled that an actual girl wants to touch him] I-I'mmm Gurio Umino, but everyone just calls me Umino.
El: So, Umino, what's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this.
Umino: [shamefaced] I accused a girl of cheating on a physics quiz.
El: Is that all?
Umino: She probably didn't cheat. I was just upset. I don't know what got into me. I think I might have a fever.
El: [puts her hand on his forehead] Yeah, you are a little warm.
[Umino becomes lightheaded at her touch]
El: And anyways, who cares? If they give out detention for things like that, I might as well pack my bags and move in this room since I do far worse things than that on a daily basis.
Umino: So what are you in for?
El: I punched a cheerleader in the face.
Umino: Why!
El: [grins] She called me "Cersei Lannister".
[Umino is not sure whether he should be amused or horrified so he just grimaces and says 'oh dear' to cover all his bases.]
El: [laughs fondly at the memory] You should seen her. I caught her totally off guard. One second she's in my face, and then next she's clutching her nose and screaming "is it broken, is it broken" [laughs louder] I got her pretty good.
[Umino discovers to his horror that this girl is a full-blown psycho…and he thinks that's pretty hot, actually.]
El: So. You know everything do you?
Umino: Just about.
El: Who is Cersei Lannister?
Umino: [gobsmacked] …you punched a cheerleader in the face… and you don't know who Cersei Lannister is?
El: Yeah, well, I know it has to mean something bad because she had this look on her face that said "please punch me".
Umino: So you punched her?
El: [shrugs] In the wartorn-third-world-hellhole where I grew up, you learn to attack first, and wonder if it was the right thing to do later on.
Umino: You're from ENGLAND.
El: That doesn't mean I was born there. We were adopted when we were six.
Umino: I thought your accent sounded a bit phony for someone from the Isle of Wight.
El: Thanks..So who is Cersei Lannister. Is she famous?
Umino: She's a character in "Game of Thrones"
El: Oh…What's that?
Umino: You've never heard of "Games of Thrones"?
El: I'm not from around here.
Umino: You're from ENGLAND!
El: So I take it Cersei Lannister is supposed to be English?
Umino: I'm not sure how to answer that.
El: I thought you knew everything.
Umino: She's a character in a series of fantasy novels written by an American writer which was made into a British TV show for an American network where she is played by a British actress who was born in Bermuda and now lives in both London and California.
El: Oh. [once her head stops spinning] What's she like?
Umino: She's evil.
El: Oh? Me too!
Umino: She's the mad queen who seduces men into killing her enemies for her.
El: Oh, that does sound cool. Maybe I shouldn't have punched that cheerleader after all. [smiling brightly] Is she pretty?
Umino: I think all girls are pretty.
El: Does she win?
Umino: Ah, well… The series hasn't ended yet but so far she's in the lead.
El: Oohh [claps] I shouldn't have hit the cheerleader. It sounds like she was paying me a compliment.
Umino: Yeaaaah, weeeeell, no. You see Cersei has a twin brother named Jamie-
El: Cool. I have a twin brother, too!
Umino: Yeaaaah. They're very close.
El: So are we!
Umino: I mean she's *really* close to her twin brother.
El: Oh, just like me and Dev.
Umino: Let's just say they are so close that there times where nothing could come between them.
El: [nods then her nodding slow and her smile vanishes] Wait. You're not talking about…?
Umino: Twincest.
El: Ew… [gets a self righteous look on her face] That's not like us at all. I'll have you know Dev and I have never gone past second base.
Umino: …
El: [giggles] That was a joke.
Umino: [chuckles nervously] Oh.
El: [giggles louder and then she becomes grave] Say, you want to go out?
Umino: You want me to leave the room? I don't think we're allowed to-
El: No dummy, I mean on a date.
Umino: [hyperventilating] A date…you mean like…with you?
El: Uh, yes.
Umino: [turning bright red] But…but…you're…a girl!
El: Don't get so excited. You're not getting past second base either.
[El laughs as Umino faints dead away]
[Hours later, Naru's apartment. Naru's painting her toenails when her phone rings]
Umino: Naru! Please! You have to help me!
Naru: Umino. What's wrong?
Umino: [a mile a minute] Nothing! I have a date! A real date! With a girl! Eleanor Heltry! She's so HOT! And SMART! I like her a lot so you have to teach me how not to scare her off the way I scared you off!
[Naru stops painting her toenails]
Umino: Uh…Naru? Are you still there?