Cass's body trembled as she finished her story. She sat there on those cold cliffs, her heart still hurting with grief that still felt raw and real. Her arms wrapped around her middle as Cass fought the urge to make herself feel small, as if that would save her from her feelings. She'd pulled away from Enzo during her story and now, she refused to look at him. She couldn't bear to see the look of judgment in his eyes. She killed her sister. There was no other way to word it. Andie was dead because she drove that car. One look at Enzo right now would be enough to shatter her into pieces she wasn't sure she could get back.
Enzo. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten the part he'd played that fateful night. Not a part that put him at fault—of course Cass didn't blame him for being a topic of conversation without even knowing it—but, in a way, he was there nevertheless. She couldn't believe it. Her sister—who knew her better than anyone else in the world—thought that she and Enzo would like each other. I think Berkshire would really like you... Don't let Berkshire hear that noise. He'll go wild over you... Cass almost smiled about it all.
Almost.
Andie thought that she and Enzo would be good for each and she was partially right. Cass didn't ever think she would be good enough for someone as kind and caring as Enzo, especially now that he knew her dark secret. He'd probably already left, unable to sit next to someone who killed her twin sister.
But when Cass risked sneaking a glance to her side, she was surprised. Enzo's face wasn't disgusted or disappointed. It was worried. Those light blue eyes weren't filled with any of the emotions she expected. They were still filled with love.
What? Didn't he hear me? I killed my sister. Cass was hardly able to stomach that fact. How could Enzo stand to look at her?
"I suppose you want to break up now," Cass said softly. "Now that you know."
Enzo's face scrunched as if the idea put him in pain. "What? No, Cass, I don't want that at all... well, if you want to, I won't stop you. You're your own person but the last thing I want to do is break up."
Now, Cass's face was the one scrunching. Her eyebrows knit together as she looked at the man in front of her. Merlin, he was so beautiful. The chiseled jawline, the full lips, the dimples on his cheeks. Eyes that looked like the sky on a sunny day framed by long black eyelashes. Brown hair that never seemed to sit in one place. A tall, toned body. Cass was certain he was the loveliest boy she could ever encounter. No one even compared to him—and that wasn't even including the person behind the appearance. He was kind, compassionate, loyal, considerate, funny, smart, charming. Everything that she could ever hope to find in a prince.
Yet, there he was, sitting in front of her after she'd finally told him the truth about the accident. How could he still look at her like that? How could he still want to be with her?
"But Enzo... you heard what happened. I killed her."
"You're right, I did hear what happened. I heard that there were unsafe road conditions, that it was dark and impossible to see the ice on the road, that the car spun out of your control. None of those things pointed to you. You were the one in the driver's seat, yeah, but it sounds like it would have happened no matter who was driving. I don't know much about muggle cars but from the films we've seen, they can be pretty dangerous even with professionals behind the wheel."
Cass frowned because that was true. She'd shown Enzo a few high-speed chase movies with lots of action, though he didn't seem to like them as much as she thought he would. Enzo insisted that his joy was directly tied to hers and so far, that still seemed true. If Cass put on a movie that wasn't her favorite, Enzo didn't seem to enjoy it. The thought made her heart stutter again.
Enzo. Her Enzo. Well, if he was still hers when the day was done. Cass still wasn't convinced he wouldn't run away from her the second he could.
"Sunshine," Enzo whispered, breaking Cass from her thoughts. Before she had a chance to process the adoring look in his eyes, he was wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her to his lap. His body was warm, his lap comfortable. Cass wondered if she closed her eyes, would all feel right in the world again? Would the pain and guilt eating at her for 365 days disappear, replaced only by the feeling of Enzo?
"Think about it this way. What would you do about that night if you knew the accident was destined to happen?"
The answer came to Cass easily. "I would beg for them to take me instead."
Enzo nodded like he'd been expecting this. "What if your sister would have said the same thing? What if that night was Andie giving herself up for you? Do you ever think there was a world where she wouldn't beg to be the one who died?"
"No," Cass said quickly. "Andie would have given herself up for me in a heartbeat. Maybe even less."
"So, maybe, can you consider that she is happy where she is now because you're here? The love you two shared is worth more than anything but we can't change what happened, sunshine. As terrible as that night was, I'm glad that you're here with me—whether you were the driver or not. Andie will always be with you, but you can't torture yourself over this. It's not fair to yourself. You deserve to move on and live your life happily."
Cass closed her eyes. What Enzo was saying made sense. If she was the one who died and Andie was the one who lived, Cass would have been in the afterlife completely happy. And though it helped to think that there was a chance her sister was happy in the beyond, it didn't change the feeling that her insides were completely twisted. Cass wasn't worthy of Enzo. She knew that. Why didn't he know that?
"Look at me," Enzo said. Cass complied easily because when he was talking to her like that, how could she not? "I see you, Cassiopeia Crane. I see everything. I see your scars. I see your pain. I see your sadness and your guilt and your grief. I see the way you want to be the sun for everyone even though your heart feels iced over. I see the love that you pour into everything because you know what it's like to have that love taken away. I see the way you push through every damn day when it must kill you to not see her anymore. I see it, Cass. I see it all. And you know what? I love it. I love you. I see every piece of you, sunshine, and I love every single one. All your broken, jagged pieces fit perfectly against every one of mine. So lay all your sadness on me, baby, because I'm more than happy to take it for you. I'm not running. I'm never running from you."
She hadn't even realized she was crying until his lips gently pressed to her cheeks, kissing away her salty tears. Enzo placed his forehead against hers. When he spoke, his whispers curled around her face and caressed her with their warmth. "I'm here, Cass. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
Cass's lower lip wobbled. "I don't want you to go anywhere. I really love you, Enz."
He breathed a sigh of relief. A smile lit up his face and it wasn't until that moment that Cass realized how worried Enzo had been, how upset he was because she was too. Enzo was the most empathetic person she'd ever met. Her pain was his pain. Her happiness was his happiness.
How did she get so lucky?
"I love you too, Cass. Nothing will change that."
"Nothing?"
He shook his head. "As long as the sun burns in the sky, I'll love you."
Cass let out a shaky breath. "That's a long time."
"Then I guess you're stuck with me for a while," Enzo whispered with a smile before closing the gap between them and placing his lips on hers. He tasted like mint and morning breath—like he was in such a rush to find her that he swigged some mouth wash during his run across Hogwarts' campus. There was the faint taste of salt from the tears he'd kissed; that only made her love him even more. He kissed away her tears after she bared her soul to him.
Nothing could compare to him.
Their lips moved together in a kiss that was tender and loving. Enzo poured every ounce of emotion into his soft kiss and Cass met all of them back. His arms around her waist held her tightly but Cass wanted to be even closer. Slowly, she moved her hands up to his face and cupped both of his cheeks. He was so warm despite the chill on the cliffside.
She let out a light moan when his tongue swiped across her lower lip. Cass didn't hesitate to give him entrance because she wanted him even closer. Something inside of her was brewing again but Cass wouldn't answer it today. Today was about remembering her sister and honoring her memory. Maybe she would give herself to him fully soon. The idea of waiting much longer had Cass kissing him a little more desperately.
After several moments clasped together, Enzo and Cass finally broke apart with heaving breaths. Enzo looked up at the sky with a wry smile. "Looks like the sun's still burning."
Cass giggled at the eager expression on his face. "Yup. Looks nice and hot to me."
In less than a second, Enzo's lips were back on hers.
It might not have been the best day. Cass wasn't sure her twin sister's death anniversary would ever truly be a good day. But there, sitting on Enzo's lap in front of the beautiful cliffside, it wasn't quite so bad.
They spent the day alternating between kissing and Cass sharing some of her favorite stories with Andie. He was always smiling and laughing as she told him about something ridiculous her sister had done. The sun seemed to shin a little brighter in those moments. In a way, it felt like Andie was reminding Cass from beyond. I told you so, Andie would have said. I told you he would have really liked you.
Cass smiled as Enzo apparated them some food, happily chomping on the sandwich while Cass told him another story about her and Andie sneaking into the Hogwarts kitchens. His hand rubbed up and down along her arm, though he didn't seem to register the contact. The sun scattered against his hair. Yeah, sissy, Cass wanted to say as she looked at the man she loved. You were right.
Aw, this chapter was so sweet. And ENZO'S LINE! Ahh, "I see you" kills me. The readers who've been here for a while know how much I love Tom but if I'm being honest, I would pick Enzo time and time again. I guess it's a good thing I married my Enzo, hehe.
What do you think is next? *rubs hands maniacally*
