Ironically, Nate's day had started out pretty well.
He didn't have to be in the office until later as his dad had an appointment in the morning so, for the first time in a long time, he got to enjoy a slow summer morning.
He had lazy morning sex with Cassie, which was always a good way to start the day. Sex had definitely changed as her pregnancy progressed and their relationship matured. The rough, fast, fucking of the first months had been replaced with more slow and sensual love making. A little because if made him a little anxious to be rough when she was pregnant, and a little because sex for both had become less performative and more intuitive. It was less a replica of porn and more of a medley of personal pleasure.
Still, there were times they felt like dirty steamy sex. But this morning was a morning of leisure, and so was the sex. Slow, lazy, spooning and delicate fluttery kisses along her face and shoulder.
He managed to fit in a workout and a nice breakfast and a quick dip in the pool before making his way to his dad's office.
So far, so good.
Working with his dad had definitely proven to be difficult. There was this constant feeling of tension between the two Jacobs, and sometimes it felt like they were wild animals circling around each other waiting to attack. Nate felt like nothing he ever did was right, each answer was wrong and any suggestion was shut down.
And what Nate thought would be a summer of business meetings and closing deals, was looking a lot more like being his dad's coffee fetcher.
It was pretty fucking shit.
Cal was definitely making it known he was still the boss, that even though his son didn't respect him as a father he needed to respect him as his boss.
Especially in front of the crew.
There were a couple of old dinosaurs working for Cal, older family men that had been with RJ construction for decades. They mainly treated Nate like some dumb rich kid not worth their time.
The younger ones though could sense that Nate's introduction to the business probably meant he would soon take a more active role in the business. So they were pretty good to him.
And Nate liked people who made him feel good about himself.
The boys also liked to party, pretty fucking hard. Drinks would start after a day of work all together and then some men would go home to their families and some would make their way to the bar.
Sure, he had been used to partying in high school, but this was on a whole other level. It wasn't just drinks, it wasn't just house parties. This was late nights at clubs with bottle service, lap dances at the strip club, and endless lines of coke to give everyone the energy to party.
For someone who had spent most of his teenage years playing sports, drugs were not something he had really dabbled in before. He had occasionally smoked pot during summer and taken molly a couple of times, but that was about it.
So when his new friend Tim looked at him in the toilets and asked "Want a bump?", Nate hesitated for a second. Drugs meant losing control, and Nate was one who liked to be in control. "Trust me, this shit is fucking good."
So he did his first line.
He did his first line and everything changed.
It was hard to describe what cocaine made him feel like. It was like suddenly everything around him was clear, like he grew 10 feet taller, like he could achieve anything. He felt strong and powerful and confident. He could shed himself of that intense character he always carried around and allow himself to be this cool guy people wanted to be around because they enjoyed his company rather than fear his evil.
It was a feeling of euphoria.
From then, it was just an inherent part of his social outings. He knew Cassie was suspicious of his Monday blues and snappy hangovers, he also knew she was not happy with how frequently he was going out or all the times he had to, reluctantly, wake her to come pick him up.
But he also knew how to play Cassie, how to manipulate her insecurities and fears to his advantage, so any mention of her dissatisfaction was shut down by guilt tripping her.
"For fuck's sake, Cass. I'm out working all fucking day to support us and I'm not even allowed to go for a fucking drink?" He would groan in the morning when she would question him about going out.
He was a jerk, he knew that, but the feeling he had when he was out partying was too good to jeopardise. Still, he was in control of his new vice. It wasn't an addiction, he kept telling himself, it was just a bit of fun.
He actually hadn't planned to go out that evening after work. His morning love making followed by Cassie's apology for upsetting him made Nate feel a little guilty for the little time he had put into his relationship all summer.
However, when he arrived at the office, he saw his father speaking to a man outside. He was of medium build, olive skinned, well dressed. They seemed to be laughing over something and their conversation appeared to be pleasant. Nate didn't miss the way Cal's hand lingered on the other man's arm as they spoke.
So when Cal finally joined him, Nate couldn't help the snarky "New friend?" he asked his father.
Cal had taken a deep breath before sitting at his desk to look at his son. "About that, I actually wanted to talk to you." His blue looked up to Nate's. "His name is Raphael, he is…uhm, very important to me and we are living together. I would love for you and Aaron to meet him."
Nate had remained in a stunned silence for a few seconds taking in what his father had just told him. It was a hard pill to swallow, that his father was finding peace and tranquillity in love, when Nate only wanted him to anguish for eternity.
"Wow, does he know you like to fuck kids and record it?" He asked Cal, with a terrifying little smile on his face. This was what Nate did best after all, stomp on other's happiness until they felt as miserable as he did.
"Nate, please." He begged his son.
"No, this is just great, look at you Dad. Getting everything you want, living your life happily. Who knew? All you needed was to get the fuck away from all of us." Nate responded, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lucky bastard."
"I'm sorry I hurt our family, Nate. I really am. But I'm trying to be better and do what's right by me and everyone around me, I wish you could see that." Cal stared at his angry son for a second before adding. "You carry so much anger in you and I know a lot of it is my fault, but I wish you could see how this is holding you back. If not for me, for your son."
The mention of his unborn child was a trigger point for Nate. It infuriated him how his father could with a straight face give him any advice on how to approach fatherhood. He knew he would be a better father than his dad and his grandad before him.
So he politely told Cal to get fucked before storming out of the office.
A quick conversation with the boys had him making plans to head to a college party this evening. Tim was hooking up with some sorority chick that had invited him and his friends in hopes they would provide them with some booze.
The party is a busy affair, with people doing keg stands and scantily clothed girls doing body shots. A couple of cute girls come up to him throughout the night with fluttery eyes and low cut tops. It's a nice ego stroke, and he knows he could sleep with them if he wanted to. But he doesn't, so he's not that friendly back.
Still, he listens disinterested to Becca's high pitched voice as she tells him all about how cool it is to live on campus and how she would love to be in a sorority.
He doesn't even see McKay approaching until he sat next to him and threw an arm around Nate.
"Nate Jacobs, my man." He slurs, tightening his grip on Nate. "What are you doing here? Isn't your girlfriend about to pop, man? He's having a baby…with my ex." He adds looking at the leggy brunette sitting next to Nate, who takes it as a sign to get up and leave the two guys alone.
Nate also tries to walk off, mumbling a good to see you, man under his breath. But McKay's hand plants firmly against Nate's chest.
"No, no, hey, explain this to me, huh? Why is it that when I liked Cassie you said she was just a whore and now she's good enough for Nate Jacobs? Huh?" McKay's eyes look wild as he finally confronts his friend.
"Bro, you do not want to get into this with me tonight." Nate responds dismissively, taking a sip of his beer.
Except, McKay did.
He had spent months trying to understand how it all came about, he replayed little moments in his head to pinpoint where these feelings came from. He always had a feeling Nate's strong opinion of Cassie was a ruse to mask some interest towards the girl. But he never expected this.
It made sense that Nate would seek out someone like Cassie. Someone who would go to any length to love you, someone docile and caring and soft. Nate, who was so insecure and desperate for people's respect that rather than earn it by being a respectable man, he used violence and fear.
Still, he knew Nate's views on women. He heard him berate Cassie for her escapades, he listened to the awful names he used. So when did it all change?
McKay truly had liked Cassie at first, she was sweet and a good girlfriend and drop dead gorgeous. But he had never been able to truly shake Nate's comments about her, the way he shared those videos with their friends and his little brothers. He could never let go of how anytime he walked into a room with her, most guys would have seen those same videos.
And it got to him. He let it take hold of his relationship, he judged her sexuality, he was embarrassed to be her partner, he made her feel wrong. He felt the ridicule and shame, he felt like his relationship could never amount to anything significant because of it.
All because of Nate, who had since turned her into his Barbie doll fantasy girl. Nate, who had poisoned feelings towards Cassie only to swoop in to take her for himself.
"Nah, bro, admit it. You were trying to fuck my shit up because you wanted her instead." McKay responds to Nate in a teasing voice. "Y'know, she would've still been with me had I not been a fool like you."
"Whatever, bro." Nate by now has heard more than enough from McKay and scans the room to find his friends and make a quick exit.
McKay shuffles closer to Nate, their faces only centimetres apart now. "Didn't she tell you? She was pregnant with my baby last year."
The last sentence seems to draw Nate's attention back to the conversation, his eyes finding McKay's, before shaking his head with a grin. "No way."
"Yeah man, full fucking begging me to keep it. But I wasn't going to throw my life away for some white trash fantasy." McKay laughs, playfully shoving Nate's shoulder, before turning serious again. "How does it feel though? To have my sloppy-"
And before McKay gets to finish his sentence, Nate's fist connects with his face and again and again.
He was kid, then he grew to a person
He had to get rid of the snakes and the serpents
He had to fuck all the bitches that curved him
He cut 'em off, 'cause they didn't deserve him