She was scared to see his family.
Did they hate her?
Did they think she was a slut?
Did they blame her for his arrest?
Nate's hand reached out to squeeze her reassuringly as they walked up the front door steps. It seemed weird that up until last week this had become her home, and now she almost felt a bit shy walking up to the house.
There was a sweet smell in the air as they walked through the house, and Cassie looked around to see if anything had changed in the last few days since she had been there. The photos on the wall stayed the same, the fresh hydrangeas on the hallway console, the vintage mirror she had taken so many photos in.
It was all still the same, but felt so different.
"Why don't you go pack some of your clothes first?" Nate had suggested, hearing the sound of his mother rustling through the kitchen.
Leaving Nate downstairs, she made her way up the stairs and into the bedroom she had been sleeping in for months. Her fingers traced the hole in the wall with a small shudder, but she willed herself to not go back to that night.
To that Nate.
"Hey." A soft voice broke her out of her reverie. It was Gemma.
She stood in the doorway in an oversized t-shirt, most likely Aaron's, her tanned legs and arms adorned by random tattoos. Her ankle had a stack of colourful anklets, some beaded, some a bit ratty. Her nails had specks of paint stuck under them, her dark hair in a messy bun held together by a paint brush, her nose ring catching the afternoon soon.
In the weeks she had gotten to know her, Cassie had come to realise Gemma was always unapologetically herself. Sure, she stood out like a sore thumb in the clean cut Jacobs household. And Nate had described her style as caravan hipster and Bev had baulked at her tattoos.
But Cassie envied the way she seemed to know exactly who she was.
Next to one another, they were like chalk and cheese. Complete opposites in features, Gemma with her long legs and olive skin, Cassie with her petite form and rosy pink skin. Complete opposites in style, Gemma with her denim cut offs and band t-shirts, Cassie with her short dresses and platform heels.
She reminded her of Maddy.
Not in looks or style, but in the way she presented herself with confidence, in the way she could command the attention of a whole room without saying much, in the way she stood up for herself, in the way she would never conform to what others wanted of her.
"How are you doing?" She asked her, stepping into the room and sitting down next to Cassie.
For the first few weeks of knowing each other, Cassie was to Gemma nothing more than the sad girl in the bedroom upstairs. She observed her spend time alone moping around the house, waiting for this boyfriend that never showed up. She watched from afar her belly grow each week, she took note of the fact that she never had any friends to go meet, she reflected on the fact that she was a high schooler living with her boyfriend's family.
To Gemma, she seemed painfully boring yet fascinating at the same time.
"Does she always just sit by the pool?" She had asked Aaron one afternoon, watching Cassie tanning from the kitchen window.
"Pretty much, she's got nothing to do until Nate comes home." He had responded with a shrug. And Gemma thought that was pretty sad.
Aaron had shared some little gossip and stories. He told her how Nate's ex was her best friend who called their mom a cunt at town fair. He told her how Cassie's sister had put on a play humiliating both her and Nate. He told her how he ended up outing his own father to his grandparents after one too many edibles. He told her how Cassie had been living with them for most of the school year after a fight with her family over Nate.
Those tidbits of information had her suddenly paying more attention to Cassie. She was friendly, sweet even and very different to any of Gemma's friends. She was a very pretty girl, Gemma was certain she must have been a cheerleader and that her and Nate would have made the perfect Prom King and Queen couple.
Ahh, Nate.
Gemma had rarely interacted with Aaron's younger brother. Her boyfriend had simply explained that his brother was an asshole, and from the little she saw of him she found that sentiment valid. He seemed to have that typical rich kid in a small town attitude about him, he drove his nice car, partied all weekend and had his shiny trophy girlfriend at his beck and call. She had met many Nate Jacobs over the years.
Then, one night, her and Aaron were getting baked in his garage. It was pretty late and almost time to go to bed. The garage was cool in the summer heat and Gemma loved looking through all the random items the family kept there, perfectly organised in floral labelled boxes. Since his mom had told him off for the smell of weed in his room, they were discretely blazing up on some old camping chairs when they heard the door open.
"Ouch, don't bite me." They heard along with the rustling of keys. It was Cassie, in a pair of silky pyjamas with a grey hoodie, holding that fluffy thing she called a dog tightly in her arms. "Oh hey, sorry I didn't know you guys were in here." She exclaimed, surprised, once seeing the couple.
Where was Sad Girl going this time of night? Gemma wondered to herself.
"Where are you going in the middle of the night?" Aaron asked in a teasing voice, taking the words out of Gemma's mouth. "Are you running away?"
"No, Nate just…he has some car troubles, so I'm going to get him." She responded, her feet shuffling a little. Even stoned she could tell Sad Girl was a bad liar and car trouble was code for shit faced.
"We'll go with you." Gemma told her, eliciting a small head shake and a few excuses. "It's late and you're pregnant, you shouldn't be out driving. We can take my car."
"No offence, but you guys are pretty stoned, so I don't think you should drive." And neither could disagree as they piled into Marsha's BMW.
The car ride was fun for the couple, the windows all the way down letting in that night time air, Aaron blasting random 90s tunes he knew all the lyrics to, Gemma's legs hanging outside the car freely. Cassie felt a little awkward driving with them, she envied their carefree attitude, and tried to recall the last time her and Nate had just been a little young and a little silly.
"By the way, maybe let's not tell Marsha about this?" She had asked with a little uncertainty at the traffic lights, a small look of relief on her face once the two had sworn their silence. From Nate's voice and slurred words, she was apprehensive of his state.
When they arrived at the address, Cassie lunged out of the car to help a staggering Nate down the driveway. Gemma and Aaron watched his huge form dwarfing her as she struggled to lure him to the vehicle, whisper-shouting at him to get in while he joked around. Nate falling flat on his ass, dragging Cassie almost to the ground with him, had finally prompted the couple to get out of the car and help them.
"Why the fuck is he here?" He asked Cassie angrily, pushing away his brother's hand. His drunken playful mood was gone and replaced by a sour expression. "Fuck off, don't touch me." Ignoring his tirade of swear words, Aaron and Gemma helped him up and all but threw him in the front seat of the car.
The mood in the car had definitely been sobered by Nate's reaction to his brother being there. It was to be expected after all, they weren't close and Nate expected Cassie to do exactly as he asked. No questions, no deviations.
"I asked you to come get me, not invite the whole family." He sneered at Cassie once she had gotten behind the wheel. And Gemma really wanted to punch him for being such an asshole to her.
"Yo, can you like not be a prick?" Aaron had intervened from the back. "It's the middle of the night, we offered to help, so just say thank you or shut the fuck up!" Nate's response was to flip his brother the middle finger before playing with the radio.
They rode in awkward silence until Gemma found herself overcome with the munchies and had asked them to stop at McDonald's for some grub. She figured a nice greasy burger would do Nate well. The radio had finally settled on Travis Scott's Sicko Mode, eliciting an excited woo from Nate who put the volume up really loud.
Nate's rapping abilities were scarce to say the least, but Gemma noticed the way his demeanour had changed from brooding asshole to drunk teenager sticking his body out the window. It was a quick switch in persona that had everyone in the car more relaxed.
As they all joined at different parts of the riff, mouths half full of french fries and chicken nuggets, the tension in the car had been replaced with light hearted fun.
And Gemma may not have known this, but it was the most fun Cassie had that whole summer.
The music stayed loud the whole ride home, until they approached the silent homes on their street. Tip toeing in the house, making a silent pact to not disclose Nate's state to their mom on what would be the first of many 2am car rides to pick him up all over town.
That night had changed Gemma's perspective on Cassie and made her wonder how much more she was hiding for Nate's sake. From then on, she had made a conscious effort to look after the younger girl, to spend time with her, to be a friend. A much needed confidant.
And as a friend, she wanted Cassie as far away from Nate as possible.
So Cassie's excited tone as she told Gemma her and Nate had officially moved into their own place had her on edge. Nate had successfully alienated her from her family and friends and would now isolate her in their home.
But years of therapy had taught her that nothing she could say would change Cassie's mind, it would only push her away. And for Cassie to be safe, she needed to trust Gemma.
So she smiled in return and made sure to find out the exact address and make plans to visit often.
Downstairs, however, Aaron Jacobs had voiced exactly what they had all been thinking.
"Are you fucking crazy?" He shouted at his brother at the news of his new residence. "Two days ago you almost punched her and now you're moving out?"
"I punched the wall, it's different." He shouted back. "And fuck off, it's none of your business."
"Nate, do you think of what you may have done if we didn't stop you? You need help man, you're not right in the head." Aaron's arms flailed around as he tried to talk some sense into his unreasonable younger brother.
And as Nate inched closer to his brother, proving his last statement, Marsha intervened between the two boys placating them.
"Sweetie, we're just worried." Marsha had explained. "You are going to be so busy with school and work, and Cassie will have the baby so soon, maybe you should stay here a little longer? I can help with the baby, at least for the first few weeks while you settle into a routine."
"We'll be fine, Mom."
"Why don't you talk about it with Cassie? I know I would have loved some help when you boys came along." She pressed further, hoping to convince Nate to stay home a little longer, a part of her concerned at how the mounting responsibilities would affect the couple and possibly trigger Nate.
Adapting to a baby was difficult for most couples, even the more stable and mature. Marsha imagined for a couple as fragile as Nate and Cassie the added stress of a newborn, work commitments, college, a new home, could be too much to handle. And the mere thought of the repercussions made Marsha feel sick with worry.
But Nate wouldn't hear of it, he had made his decision.
What could she do? He had a house, he was earning his own money, they were both 18.
"Call me if you need anything." Marsha had whispered, squeezing the blonde tightly on her way out. "Anything at all."
Cassie had looked back before getting in Nate's car, a big smile and small wave.
Marsha waved back, her heart tight.
Hopefully everything will be okay.
'Cause I've been dreaming that you love me in the morning, love me when the morning comes.
I've been dreaming that you love me when the fighting, love me when the fighting's done.
Oh, my love. Don't cry, love. I believe in us.