Lexi knew exactly what she would be walking into.
Just like every other day, Suze was sitting on the couch, chilled rose' in one hand, remote in the other. Her foot would slowly be rocking Harvey's carseat and her focus would be half on the baby and half on whatever trash reality show she was watching.
Her entrance was usually followed by a similar warning from her mother.
"Your sister is sleeping, don't make too much noise."
And Lexi knew before even hearing those words that, if she walked into her bedroom, she would find Cassie sleeping away in her old bed while their mother looked after her baby.
She could barely contain the knee-jerk reaction of rolling her eyes as Suze spoke.
Sure, the first few days of having Cassie and Harvey over had been cute, fun even.
She would come home to a good dose of baby cuddles, she could spend some time with her sister, they would laugh at their mom trying to make Harvey laugh. She would play her Aaron Neville vinyl in the living room and Cassie would try to rock Harvey to sleep while Suze sang off key in the kitchen. There was a restored sense of family that had long been missed in the Howard home. It united them. It made Lexi's heart swell and beat and feel warm. It was a special feeling.
But then this rare occurrence became a daily routine and, while Cassie slept peacefully, drooling on her silk pillowcase, Lexi and Suze were saddled with caring for Cassie's baby.
"Don't be hard on your sister." Suze would chastise her whenever she let a little comment slip, or as her eyes rolled at the mention of Cassie resting all afternoon. "She's exhausted, this kid's got her up at all hours of the night."
Lexi tried to be empathetic towards Cassie, she really did. Babies were hard work, sure. Lexi had no idea about motherhood, sure. But as her sister lounged around their house in her oversized t-shirt, hogging the TV, barely lifting a finger and leaving crumbs all over their bedroom floor, Lexi could really feel her annoyance grow.
And, in typical sisterly fashion, her response to this was to be as obnoxious as Cassie.
She would switch on the bedroom lights while Cassie napped, or would change the channel to whatever she wanted to watch, or push Cassie's feet off the coffee table- which would always start a round of arguing between the two sisters.
And then Suze would yell at them to stop.
And then Harvey would make their ears bleed by crying.
While Lexi could acknowledge that her response to Cassie's return could have been more mature, Cassie's attitude had her extremely vexed. It seemed so typical of her sister to make serious life altering decisions and then dump the responsibility of said decisions on them.
They were suddenly her babysitters, her maids, her chauffeurs.
Yes, to make matters worse, Cassie was also car-less.
She had been from the day she moved in with Nate and left the old piece of crap they shared with Lexi. But back then, she would be reliant on Nate to drive her to school every morning and Marsha to chauffeur her around- and her reality outside of the Jacobs home was non-existent.
But she was a mother now- shouldn't she have unrestricted access to a vehicle?
Lexi's questioning of Cassie's lack of a car was often met by excuses surrounding household expenses and, that despite all the money Nate and his family seemed to have, buying a car for his wife was not a priority investment at this stage.
In reality, Lexi knew exactly why Nate was reluctant to purchase Cassie a car.
It was for the same reason he had gone out of his way to alienate her from as many people as possible, or move her in a house without any of her support system around, or expecting her to notify him of her every move while he could disappear for hours at a time.
To give Cassie her own freedom, Nate would have to relinquish his control over her.
Indirectly- Nate dictated what she wore, where she went, who she spoke to, what she ate.
Lexi found Cassie to be just as rotten as him though.
It was almost as though Cassie knew that her complete reliance on him was her most attractive trait in his eyes. So rather than fight for agency, she folded over into his demands and expectations. She almost emphasised her constant need for his assistance- his money, his car, his approval - to complete daily tasks. The epitome of a damsel in distress.
Cassie was reluctant to admit to Nate she had been spending every day at her family home. Their family life had improved dramatically since Suze and Lexi had been helping her out. She felt rested and refreshed and less resentful of Nate. But she didn't want him to know the only way she had been able to achieve this was by others helping her. She didn't want him to see her as a failure.
So, most days, Lexi would find herself racing against time and traffic to make sure Cassie arrived home before Nate returned from school. She would rush in through the door, set up whatever elaborate meal she had cooked back at her mother's house and moved a bit of furniture to make it look like she had been there all day. That way Nate could walk in after a long day and marvel at what an amazing wife and mother she was.
On the days where Cassie would tell Nate she was at her mother's, the lead up to his arrival from picking her up was filled with her sister frantically running around to make herself look perfect. Gone was the messy bun and ratty top covered in spit up. Her locks would be brushed and curled, her dark circles well hidden and her outfit stylish. She was picture perfect, every little bit of Nate's trophy wife, waiting like a little porcelain doll resting on a mantlepiece for him to come and collect her.
Lexi found it all very nauseating.
Her truce with Nate was short lived and ended when Lexi came over one morning to find her sister distraught, after struggling all night with a crying baby that wouldn't latch properly, and Nate sleeping soundly by grace of eye mask, ear plugs and sleeping tablets.
Any maturity and care Nate had fooled them into believing that night at the hospital was lost once the new family returned home and reality settled in. Nate had been quick to dump all baby responsibilities on Cassie under the ruse that he was too busy taking care of everything else. He played the part well, the one of the caring father and partner, realistically though Lexi was certain she herself had changed more of Harvey's shitty diapers than Nate ever had or ever would.
It also did not help that Suze had turned into Nate Jacob's number one fan overnight. She had moved from wanting to beat him with a broomstick to eagerly handing him a beer the moment he arrived at their home and wanting to know all about his busy day.
This meant that any criticism Lexi tried to voice to her mother about Nate's lack of support was met with a myriad of excuses from Suze.
"He's studying. He's working. That kid is up at 5am every day to support his family. He wants to give your sister and nephew a good life. He's a good kid trying to do right by them."
Suze's speech would sound a lot like Cassie's did anytime Lexi enquired about Nate's responsibilities as a father. And perhaps her mother and sister were more alike than she had ever realised before. Both so willing to justify and accept the shortcomings of the men in their life. Cassie had been the same when it came to their father, willing to forgive his reckless behaviour and ready to welcome him back no matter how long he had gone without contacting them.
Lexi could never understand this blind love they had for undeserving individuals.
Sure, Nate was financially supporting Cassie and their baby. And most likely, once his studies were over, he would be moving her sister into a grandiose home where she would live a very comfortable life as the wife of a successful property developer, pushing out kids every other year and driving a luxury minivan. Cassie had done well in securing herself a financially stable and prosperous future at the age of 18.
But what about the emotional support Cassie would need?
In some way, Cassie had made her own pact with the devil in marrying Nate. She had signed up for the outdated storybook fantasy and, in return, she needed to be every bit of what Nate wanted her to be. Her look and personality moulded to fit his own dreams, her own aspirations tailored to Nate's bigger vision.
Lexi would observe their routine most afternoons from the sidelines:
Cassie throwing her arms around his neck to lift herself up high enough to reach Nate's lips.
Nate holding his son in his arms while Cassie sat by him on the armrest.
The three of them sitting together like a happy family.
If you took a picture of them in those moments, if you captured the tenderness shared in those brief instances, it would be hard to believe the underlying toxicity of this pairing.
She imagined this being their calm before the storm, a couple of happy kisses and sweet hugs before the facade would crumble and the tears and shouting would start.
Nate, who was a stranger in their home until not long before, now felt so comfortable and at ease. He would make his way around the Howard home like it was his own, sitting back in their father's old armchair by the TV, beer in hand and feet up on the table as the new man of the house.
Suze and Cassie would usually fret over Nate, offering him food and drinks and making sure his every need was met.
And Lexi would stand by the kitchen doorway, arms crossed and scowl imprinted on her young face.
And Nate would give her the most infuriating smug smile, taking a swig of his ice cold beer.
"How's school, little Howard?"
And Lexi wondered if she would ever hate someone as much as she hated Nate.
Baby, you're no good.
I'm gonna say it again, you're no good.