I don't own Merlin
AN: I made a few changes to those who haven't read this story recently so any changes you see in this chapter is because of that. Also, like Merlin's name amongst the druids is Emrys, Meilani's is Alanna. All will be explained soon.
"You will not be able to harm each other in this room so there is no point in trying or I will have you restrained for the remainder of the viewing, whether I have to make you mute for those who have magic, or physically retrain you for those who do not. I shall let you keep your weapons only because I have not restrained anyone's magic, but like them, the weapons cannot be used to harm. There will be a lot of breaks in between so I'm sure having some drills fighting with one another will provide you with some much-needed stress relief," the voice said. "Oh and an extra precaution if becoming mute is not enough, I will have your magic restrained instead so do control your tempers would you?"
Everyone nodded at that, some annoyed, others pissed off and others accepting their current situation, before they either took a seat at the round table, which had more chairs than before, or they stood up instead. Morgana and Mordred stood farther away from everyone, Merlin stood with Meilani leaning against a wall, Arthur stood with Gwen who was standing next to Elyan refusing to be far from him, Gwaine and Lancelot stood near Merlin and Meilani, Percival stood somewhat away from the others but close to Lancelot, Sir Leon stood near Arthur and Hunith and Gaius sat down in the round table seats.
"There's no need to worry about the battle now. Time has been put on pause. The surrounding place of where you all currently reside is empty of anyone so during breaks you may go outside for a breather if you wish but be careful of time when you do for whenever you venture outside of this cavern, time will continue as normal,"the voice said and then suddenly, a moment laterthe wall in front of them shimmered before it shone showing Ealdor leaving the others shocked, some reaching for their swords at the obvious magic.
"How is this possible?" Gwen asked surprised.
"Magic," was all the voice said.
It showed Merlin standing outside a door inside of his home.
"Merlin? We're watching something about Merlin? You can't be serious?" Arthur said in disbelief.
"And what's so wrong with thatYour Highness?"Meilani asked with a raised eyebrow.
Gwaine couldn't help but laugh before he said, "You sound just like Merlin when he's mocking his title. I can see now why you're related to him beautiful."
"No flirting with my sister Gwaine. She is off limits," Merlin said protectively.
"As you wish Merlin," Gwaine said with his hands up but there was a smirk on his face.
"Good," Merlin said as Meilani rolled her eyes at his protectiveness but she wouldn't say anything knowing what he was feeling. He hadn't had the chance to act like a brother since then, so he wanted the chance to now and how could she take that away from him she thought as she moved closer to him. He put his arm around her securely and she smiled, she had honestly missed this and from the kiss he pressed to her head, so had he.
The door opened and they saw his mother coming out with tears in her eyes as she squeezed his shoulder.
Arthur realised which door that was. He recognised it from when he'd been to Ealdor that time to help save the village. He hadn't exactly wanted to sleep on the floor so when he'd opened a door to a spare room, he'd believed it to be Merlin's and had said something he couldn't quite remember. Merlin had looked confused when he turned before he'd stiffened and practically shoved Arthur out the door with a look of pain on his face. He'd been angry and confused but Merlin would not budge from that door or answer any questions. Hunith had come around and had seen what had happened and when he saw the identical looks of pain on their faces when he'd asked her about the door he'd left it. He had to admit that at the time he hadn't cared enough to know but now he was curious as to why that door clearly meant something to the both of them.
"I just realised how young you look. When was this?" Gwen asked curiously, her eyes moving to Merlin but catching Lancelot's instead and they stared at each other only a moment before they immediately turned away from each other. Her words actually brought everyone up short as they saw the clear difference between young Merlin and the one sitting with them. He looked much more carefree despite the clear worry clouding his visage compared to the one with them, who looked much older than he should be despite maintaining his youthful features.
"It was before I came to Camelot," Merlin answered.
"You weren't born in Camelot?" Percival asked surprised.
"No, I'm from Ealdor, a village on the outskirts of Cenred's kingdom," Merlin explained.
"You're a country boy?" Percival asked with a smile and Merlin just shrugged in agreement with a forced smile on his face, the memory he knew they were watching dampening his mood.
They watched as the two exchanged a long look and after a small shake of Hunith's head, Merlin's face crumpled.
"What's wrong Merlin?" Gwaine asked concerned wondering what had happened for his best friend to look so sad, but Merlin didn't answer swallowing roughly as he remembered that day as the others gave him concerned looks.
"No. No. No, no, no," Merlin said breathing heavily as he moved back and nearly collapsed against a wall.
"What is going on?" Arthur asked actually worried as he saw the state of his best friend but again there was no answer.
"Merls," a voice called from inside the room and it seemed that the suddenness of it calmed Merlin down enough to prevent the panic attack he looked like he was about to have. "Come here," the voice said softly and Merlin wiped his tears as he walked through the door on shaky legs.
They all watched as Merlin walked towards the bed at the side of the room where they saw his sister propped up on the bed as she held her daughter in her arms.
The others looked between the girl on the bed and the one standing next to Merlin and saw the difference. The one on the bed was sickly pale, weak, and frail but the one with Merlin looked as healthy as one could be, but still somehow she still looked beautiful either way.
Arthur winced as he realised that the room belonged to Merlin's sister. Now he understood why Merlin and Hunith had reacted the way they did, since at the time, Merlin's sister had obviously been dead and of course, Merlin wouldn't want anyone in that room.
Merlin went and sat by her bedside looking away from her. "Merls," she said.
"You knew this would happen didn't you?" he asked trying to control his emotions but his voice said it all.
"I did," Meilani said nodding her head. "I knew there would be complications, but it was all worth it." She said this whilst looking down at her daughter with a loving teary smile on her face.
"How did you know?" Merlin asked as he swallowed.
She sighed and looked to her brother knowing she owed him an explanation, "Uther's men had slaughtered the druid camp I'd been staying with around a year ago. Everyone was sleeping, they came in the dead of night and we didn't stand a chance. It was a massacre. One of the men helped me escape since I was injured and too weak to do so on my own. I was busy trying to help the others, and I hadn't seen the arrow heading for me until it lodged in my stomach. The man who helped me, Enzo, healed it as much as he could but healing wasn't his strong point nor was it mine. We took refuge in another camp, he and I fell in love, one thing lead to another and the next thing you know, I was pregnant. Their healer told me the bad news though, that the arrow wound had already caused irreparable damage and whilst I would still be able to carry the baby, there would be multiple complications during birth or during the pregnancy. Miscarriage and high risk of severe blood loss being two of them, the latter of which has now gotten me here. They said they could remove the baby from inside me and I would be fine but I could not. She was my everything, she's the only thing I have left from him, so how could I just let her go, so I chose to keep her, even if it meant my death and I don't regret a thing," Meilani said as she looked down at her baby with a soft motherly smile before she leaned more into the pillows, the talk actually exhausting her.
"That's why you hate my father," Arthur said remembering her words before and he then recalled her saying that he was no different from him and that did not make him feel any better. Did his father really send his men to slaughter the druids in the night, whilst they weresleeping?Who was he kidding? Of course he did.
"That, and the fact that a few months into my pregnancy, another gang of knights raided the camp I'd been staying in, and I watched Enzo die right in front of me. He was trying to protect me and the babe," Meilani said her face twisted in both hatred and grief, and they winced at that.
"I'm sorry," Arthur said sincerely.
"You really mean that don't you?" Meilani asked her brows furrowed before shaking her head. She admitted that whilst she'd been watching over her brother, she had kept a hardened heart towards Arthur, no matter how much Merlin seemed to care for him, because every single time she saw any glimpse of goodness in him, the memories came forth and she was suddenly back in those camps he raided watching him slaughtering the druids all over again without remorse, just following his father's orders without question so she couldn't bring herself to see any good in him after what she'd seen of him. She hadn't seen everything though since her attention was diverted between Merlin, Anna, her mother, Uncle Gaius and Mordred. What she didn't see of Merlin, Lance relayed to her.
"I do. Did...did my father's men really try to kill a pregnant woman?" Arthur asked hesitantly. He needed to know but at the same time, he didn't want to.
"Of course he did. It wasn't only his men who did so, it was himself as well. If he could drown children as young as 3, if he could burn them without remorse, then do you really think he would be merciful enough to spare a magic user just because of the baby? In his eyes, the baby was going to grow up to become the same anyway," Meilani said her eyes cold with hatred as she talked about the blasted man, who'd taken so much from her.
"3?" Arthur asked his eyes wide and horrified.
"Yes. Have you not read the recordsmade during the purge, stating the name, age, and method of execution?" Meilani answered.
"No," Arthur said having never known they existed.
"You have no idea about them, do you? Well, after this you can read them and confirm what I just said," Meilani said with a shrug before turning back to the screen leaving him to his troubled thoughts. Yes, like his father, he hated magic, but 3? Really? What could a 3-year-old have done to warrant drowning or being burnt at the pyre?
"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin asked.
"I just...couldn't. I didn't want you to spend these months thinking about that," Meilani said with a sigh. It was silent for a while until Merlin let out a sob and Meilani immediately pulled him into a hug, and then the waterworks started as Merlin cried like a newborn babe, Meilani holding him to her, tears in her own eyes.
"This is so hard to watch," Gwen whispered wiping a tear from her eye and the others were in agreement.
Arthur honestly hated watching this. He'd only seen Merlin cry that one time and it wasn't as bad as this and he found that he never wanted to hear it again. The knights were busy thinking the exact same thing though for them, it was the first time they'd heard him cry.
"Please don't leave me," Merlin sobbed.
"I don't have a choice Merls," Meilani said softly.
The knights were all trying to keep their emotions in control at this, they were soldiers, not emotional girls they thought annoyed as they swallowed lumps in their throats, but it wasMerlin,and him hurting just didn't sit right with them at all. In the time they'd known him, he'd become a little brother to them all.
"Please...I can't lose you. I can't do this without you. You can't leave me Lani," Merlin said holding her tight, but still being gentle about it.
"I'm sorry Merls. I'm so sorry," Melissa said softly before she scooted to the side and Merlin got in bed beside her just holding her as Melissa held her brother and her daughter to her tightly occasionally pressing kisses to both their foreheads. Everyone watched as time passed outside as the two didn't move from their positions. They saw Hunith come in the room and tend to Meilani for a while before she left to get some water for her.
"Merls," Meilani said even weaker than before.
"Lani," he said sitting up alarmed when he heard how weak her voice was.
"Promise me something," Meilani said.
"Anything," Merlin said readily.
"Keep Anna safe," Meilani said.
"Anna?" Merlin asked confused.
"It's her name. Anna," Meilani said smiling softly at her baby.
"It's a pretty name," Merlin said blinking back tears.
"Protect her...keep her safe...please," Meilani said.
"I will, I promise.. I'll protect her with my life," Merlin said nodding his head immediately.
"Thanks Merls," Meilani said kissing his cheek in gratitude.
"You don't need to thank me," Merlin said shaking his head.
"I do. For everything," Meilani said earnestly and Merlin just pressed a kiss to her forehead as the others watched with smiles on their lips and sympathy in their eyes.
"You'll be okay...You all will," Meilani said as she lifted a shaky hand to her brother's cheek.
"Not without you," Merlin said shaking his head as he held her wrist stroking the back of her hand with tears in his eyes. Hunith came back into the room and was immediately at her side when she saw how pale her face was as she set the water to the side when Meilani shook her head.
"You're the best brother one could ask for Merls. Despite everything that happened, you always found a way to make me smile. Always there for me, no matter what. I love you...so much," Meilani said to him softly.
"I love you too," Merlin said his face showing his fear and grief as Meilani seemed to get weaker as the minutes passed.
"I can't watch this," Merlin said shaking his head with tears in his eyes. "Not again."
"It's alright Merls. I'm here right now aren't I? I'm fine, just think on that," Meilani said holding him tighter.
"I'll try," He said his voice muffled as he buried his head in her hair.
"Mother...I want to say thank you...for everything you've done for me. We...We may not be...related by blood...but you both still loved me...like your own...and you've no idea how grateful I am for that. I love you...I'll always love you...all three of you. Always and Forever," Meilani said with a small sad smile.
"You're not blood-related?" Arthur asked.
"No. Mother took me in when I was 11," Melissa answered. She could see the question he wanted to ask but was probably stopping himself for propriety's sake. "I was an orphan. The druids found me when I was young but after a raid, I was again left alone until I came across Ealdor. Merlin had been a newborn babe when she took me in." Hunith remembered when she'd came across them and had to swallow at the memory.
"We love you too honey. Always," Hunith said tears running down her face.
"And forever," Merlin said softly and she smiled at them both before her eyes took on a slightly glazed look and Merlin quickly shook her gently. "Lani," he said with a panicked voice.
The glaze faded as some coherency came back to her eyes and she said, "Be safe...both of you...Look after Anna...please...and look after mother for me, would you Merls?"
"Of course. Anything for you," Merlin said pressing a kiss to her forehead before Will rushed into the room and hurriedly came to their side.
Arthur flinched just slightly when he saw the familiar face and he looked to Merlin and watched in concern as his face crumpled in grief at the sight of his best friend. Gwen also looked over at him in worry remembering what had happened and only a few of the other knights noticed and registered Merlin's face with worry, he looked like he'd been punched in the gut.
"Who is he?" Gwaine asked curiously when he saw the expression on Merlin's face.
"He was my best friend," Merlin said and they all caught the past tense and Gwaine immediately felt guilty for asking as the others looked at him concerned and in sympathy. He'd lost his sister and his best friend and none of them knew about it except those that had been there. What other things did they not know they thought.
"Merls," Meilani said softly as she squeezed his hand in comfort. Will had given his life willingly so like Lance and her, he was up there with us as well, choosing to watch over his mother and Merlin. Merlin's father had also been there wanting to watch over his child and his love. She'd bonded with the man. He reminded her of her own father and he treated her like one too. She'd tell Merlin about that later knowing he'd want to hear anything he could about his father.
"I'm fine," Merlin said but they both knew that it was a lie so Melissa said softly in an attempt to comfort him, "Will was with Lance and me, up there. Having given his life willingly, he made the same choice we did, to look out for our loved ones. He watched everything and he's beyond proud of you Merls."
"Thanks Lani," Merlin said pressing a grateful kiss to her head as he fought back his tears of grief as he's always done.
"Anytime," she grinned at him and he smiled back.
"I'm so sorry. I tried to come earlier but..." Will said anxiously.
"It's alright Will...It's fine," Melilani said reassuringly as Will crouched by the bedside.
"She's adorable," Will said as he looked from the baby to the woman who had become like an elder sister to him.
"She is, isn't she?" Meilani said smiling softly before she looked at Will and sighed. "Will...I'm not...I don't...I don't have long."
"What? What do you mean? " Will asked confused.
"I lost too much blood...I won't last the night," Meilani said squeezing her eyes shut when she saw his face before sighing as she opened them again.
"No. No. You're not...You're not going to die. You can't. You can't leave me...us...I can't lose you too," Will said shaking his head, refusing to believe it.
"Will...please...I don't have time...I want you to know..." Meilani began.
"No. You're not saying goodbye," Will's voice cracked at this.
"This is not goodbye. This is until we meet again," Meilani said with a tired smile as she moved Anna to the other arm, Merlin helping her hold her as she used her now free one to ruffle Will's hair before it fell limp to the mattress, too weak to hold up. "I love you...like I love Merls...You've become like a little brother to me."
"I love you too...You're like a sister to me," Will said tears in his eyes as he looked at her before looking at the other two who were around the bed tears in their own eyes, and when he saw the grief in them, it suddenly became a whole lot more real and his heart broke at the thought.
"Take care of yourself...Take care of each other...You'll be okay," Meilani said to them all and they all shook their heads at that. How could they be when the person they all loved was dying right in front of them whilst they could do nothing? "Mother," she said after a moment.
"I'm here honey. I'm right here," Hunith said as Will moved out of the way for her as she kneeled by the bed, and stroked her hair away from her face. Meilani lifted a hand to her cheek to wipe the tears and Hunith held it there for her.
"Don't cry for me mother...I'll be fine," Meilani said her eyes straining to be kept open. "I love you...all of you."
"We love you too honey," Hunith said as she pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead as tears ran down her face before pulling away.
Meilani walked forwards and wrapped her hands around her mother's slightly shaking shoulders as she tried to hold in her cries at seeing her daughter die in front of her again.
"I love you," Hunith said softly as Meilani wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I love you too. Always and Forever," Meilani said with a small gentle smile before she pressed a kiss to her mother's forehead. Merlin and Hunith swallowed at that, those words meant the world to them, it was just their thing, but ever since her death, it'd been impossible to get those words out, but now, having her say what they'd desperately wanted to hear all these years without her, put a teary smile to their faces. She sat next to her mother then as Merlin came forward and leant against the back of her chair just needing to be close to her. Meilani knew that and reached back to squeeze his hand as he squeezed back sending a smile to each other as the others gave the family some privacy.
Meilani felt herself getting weaker and turned to Anna as she said, "I love you. I'll always love you...I'm sorry I won't...have the chance to be a mother for you baby...I'm sorry you won't have a father either...but I'm sure your...Uncle Merls...will give you all the love in the world...and let's not even mention Uncle Will...and your grandmother...They're going to spoil you rotten I bet...so you'll be fine...You'll be just fine...I'm happy...leaving this world...knowing I've brought you into it. I love you...so much...so so much."
There was not a dry eye in the room at this point. No matter how much they tried to control it, seeing the love she held for her child as she laid out her heart for her in her dying breaths was a bit too emotional for even the most battle-hardened soldier to deal with.
She pressed a kiss to her forehead softly stroking her face before she kissed her nose then her cheeks and then her temple and then she sobbed clutching onto her baby as the others huddled around her wanting to provide as much comfort as possible and needing the comfort as well.
Gwen wiped her teary eyes when she heard her sobs, it was painfully clear how much she didn't want to leave her daughter and it must have been so heartbreaking for her to have to say goodbye only a while after giving birth.
The knights were swallowing roughly as they heard her, it was honestly the most heartbreaking thing they'd seen, even more so because it was Merlin's sister.
It was after a few moments that Merlin stiffened when he felt her hand fall limp from the baby and he shot up in a panic and everything seemed to pause when he stared into her unseeing eyes. It was then that the baby began crying as if she realised what had just happened to her mother.
They felt stupid when they gasped as if they hadn't known it would happen but they couldn't help it. Staring into those lifeless eyes made it all the more real and they frowned in sadness for Merlin, her daughter, her mother and everyone else who'd lost her. They felt sad for Merlin's sister as well, she didn't deserve to dieso young just because of the prejudice of a single man.
"No! No, no, no, no, no," Merlin sobbed as he clutched onto her shaking her desperately but nothing happened her eyes stared vacantly above, no sign of life from the one person that had always seemed so full of it. All of their faces crumpled as they grasped onto her crying their eyes out before the scene shifted in front of them.
"God that was the single most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. I'm so sorry for the both of you. You didn't deserve that," Gwen said sadly as she wiped her eyes and Meilani gave her a nod of gratitude. The woman was sweet and she was grateful to her, for being a friend to Merlin all these years.
"Why did you never tell me?" Arthur asked hurt. Something so tragic at such a young age, this was before he'd come to Camelot, and all these years, he'd never once told him anything. It actually gave him a pause, because what did he really know about his manserv...no, his friend? He knew the facts, where he was born, his mother's name but other things, like what they'd just watched, he didn't know any of that.
"It isn't exactly the best topic of conversation sire," Merlin said with a shrug and Arthur frowned at both his words and the use of his title. He was confused for a second before he remembered their fight before they'd come here and sighed guiltily. Whenever Merlin was mad at him, he always used titles knowing it annoyed the hell out of him. He also used it when he was proud of him and he preferred that over him being mad, which he was. He hated when Merlin was mad, because unlike others, he wouldn't blast a lid off it, he would instead only speak to you when really necessary and when he did, he was annoyingly formal, and that was so much worse.
It now showed Merlin leaning against his house, looking exhausted with red-rimmed eyes before Hunith emerged from the house holding the newborn baby in her arms.
"I don't think I can do this mother," Merlin said in a choked-up voice.
"I know Merlin, but..." Hunith said, exhaustion etched across her face and a scratchy voice that gave away the tell-tale signs of crying.
"I have to. I know...I just...why did she have to go?" Merlin asked absolute anguish twisting his features as he basically sobbed out the line. His face crumpled and he collapsed against the wall as he sat on the ground, his knees bent in front of him and his arms crossed on top of them. He buried his face in his arms as he began crying in earnest.
The others had to swallow at that, they had never seen Merlin so heartbroken before. They had never seen him cry so heart-wrenchingly and it got to all of them. Gwen was actually fighting back tears of her own as she looked at her friend on screen, and the others were looking at him concernedly too, especially Arthur, Lancelot and Gwaine.
"Merlin..." Arthur began concernedly but Merlin just shook his head, and he sighed as he looked away from the screen trying not to let the cries get to him but damn it, it did. It just wasn't right to see his happy-go-lucky manservant in such a state. Despite whatever happened, he was always so cheerful. He didn't know there was this pain behind all of that.
"Oh Merlin," Hunith said tears falling from her own eyes as she kneeled next to him.
"It hurts," Merlin said his breath hitching in his throat as sobs escaped his mouth out of his control.
Meilani got up and immediately hugged Merlin to her running a hand through his hair as he clung to her. He may not be 16 anymore, it may have been 8 years, but it hurt all the same. He was on the verge of tears right now and he was trying so hard to control it. It just wasn't the best time to have a break down and he had a habit of holding it in until he was alone. The others watched them with sorrow in their eyes, it was admittedly hard to watch.
"I know Merlin. I know," Hunith said before she put a gentle hand on his shoulder making him turn his head to look at her with the most grief-stricken expression on his face. She looked at the child in her arms and gently moved her into Merlin's arms who moved back to hold her to him.
Merlin looked down at the child with the most tender expression on his face as he caressed her head before the kid smiled a familiar goofy smile, made even more adorable by the lack of teeth, and wrapped her little hand around Merlin's finger.
"She has Lani's eyes," Merlin said tears in his eyes and trailing down his cheeks.
The others watched the scene in silence. It was such a tender and loving scene that they couldn't even muster up any words to express how beautifully sad the moment was.
Meilani's eyes never moved away from her child as she smiled softly now back in her seat as Merlin rested a hand on his shoulder. Despite the years without her, he could read her easily.
"You have all the time now to give her all the love in the world. The years apart won't make her love you any less. She understands, as much as an 8-year-old can, and she'd never hold it against you," Merlin said reassuringly.
"Thanks Merls. You always know just what to say," Meilani said as she squeezed his hand gratefully. The others smiled at that, it was true. Whenver it came down to it, you could always count on Merlin to lift up your spirits by saying exactly what you needed to hear.
"And the nose is the same as well, the rest though I reckon she got from her dad," Hunith said. She'd never seen him before but Meilani had talked about him enough for her to know.
"I was going to ask that but where is her dad?" Arthur asked confused as some of the others gave him looks as if he were daft.
"I told you before. Enzo. He was the father. He was killed trying to protect me," Meilani said swallowing squeezed her hand at that whilst Hunith did the same to her other in an attempt to offer her some form of comfort.
"Oh. Sorry," Arthur said with a wince, his father had been the cause of her lover's death and basically her own as well, she would never have had that arrow wound and she would have raised her daughter herself and Merlin would not have lost his sister. How many families had his father torn apart he thought before pushing the thought away. His father had done what he thought was right for his kingdom and he refused to tarnish his memory by thinking ill of his decisions during his reign.
"Hunith. It's time," a voice called them and the two looked up to see Matthew standing there looking at the two sympathetically.
Arthur winced when he remembered the man's death and his fiance grieving over him.
Hunith took the child from Merlin's arms after the two got up before she squeezed Mrelin's hand with her free one giving him a small reassuring look, not being able to muster up a smile herself. The two then walked, their hearts heavy in their chests to the burial and the scene shifted to then show Merlin holding the stick lit with fire with trembling hands, tears streaming down his face. "I can't..." he said his voice a whisper and just as he said that two people stepped on either side of him and he looked to see his mother empty-handed since she'd given Anna to one of the woman to hold, and his best friend Will.
They both reached out their hands and held the stick over Merlin's trembling hand and helped to steady him before the three of them lit the pyre together tears of grief in all their eyes.
"God Arthur, this is so sad," Gwen said softly to Arthur.
"I know," Arthur said resting a calming hand on her back.
"How old were you?" Gwen asked Meilani, her brows furrowed in sympathy and sadness.
"I was 27 when I died. I should be around 35 now but I'm still in my 27-year-old body," Meilani answered with a shrug and they frowned at that. It was too young, she had been too young to die, the same age as their king they realised.
The scene closed into Merlin's grief-stricken eyes before the scene shifted once again.