Cassie had a habit of playing with fire.

Cal's increasing presence in their lives hadn't gone completely unnoticed by Nate, who had slowly started enquiring more often about his Dad.

"Why does Cal have our Christmas photo on his desk?" Nate had asked her one evening after returning from work, making Cassie stop in her tracks as she unstacked the dishwasher.

They had taken Harvey to get his first picture with Santa a couple of weeks back, and the photo of the young family had made its framed appearance around the family: on Marsha's photo wall, in Suze's good lounge room, on Bev's fridge and, apparently, in Cal's office.

"Oh, I gave it to him last week when he came to check on the repairs the guys did." She had replied casually, thinking of the repair Cal had organised with his tradesmen after Pumpkin had ended up in the neighbour's garden from the tiny hole in the back fence. "I thought you ordered one for him too, no?"

Nate had filled out the form for the photo prints himself, requesting 6 copies of the portrait to be issued. It had made Cassie smile because, as much as Nate tried to push away his desire for a relationship with his father, he was unable to fully shake off this need of approval from Cal. His subconscious still craved love and acceptance from his father, just like her conscious constantly sought her father's love and presence.

She also knew Nate well enough to know he would rather chop off his own hand than actually give his father the photo in question. Likewise, Cal would never ask Nate for it. They were both too proud and stubborn to meet in the middle.

So her meddling was needed if a mending of their relationship was ever going to happen.

Or at least that's what she kept telling herself.

Cassie had given Cal the photo during one of his unannounced visits and watched with a warm heart as Cal stared at the picture, his hand tracing over Harvey and Nate's faces.

"God, I remember taking these every year when the kids were little...the amount of times they would start crying right as the photographer started taking the photo. Marsha would spend so long getting them all ready and perfect and each photo would turn out like a murder scene."

"What was Nate like as a baby?" Cassie had asked, sliding a cup of coffee towards Cal.

"He was such a good baby, he barely cried, even when he was teething. He was an angel until 18 months and then became a nightmare of a toddler." He had responded with a small laugh, thinking of all the trouble Nate had caused once he could talk, walk and open cupboards. "You couldn't take your eyes off him that he would run off or pull apart the whole kitchen, he was a little terror!"

The thought of Nate as a cheeky toddler had made Cassie smile. She had seen a few photos of him growing up at Marsha's and had heard a few funny stories from his mom and grandmother, but the Nate she knew was always so serious and broody that it was strange to imagine him as a carefree child.

"I mean, I ordered a spare one just in case but I guess if you gave it to him that's fine…" Nate responded to her explanation with a fake disinterested shrug, which made Cassie wonder whether Nate actually wanted to give Cal the photo himself. "Why does he need to come check on the fence? Like I can't tell whether something has been fixed right or not. He does the same shit in the office, goes against everything I say."

Cassie felt herself sighing at Nate's words, his hostility towards his father was nothing new in their household.

"I don't know, he's just trying to help out." She responded, trying to change Nate's perspective on Cal's presence.

"No, Cass, it's his way of fucking controlling my life." Nate spat out, before storming out of the room and heading to the garage/gym to work off his rage for the next hour.

This was a common pattern for them, but where she once would have followed Nate from room to room, watching him unravel before her eyes, she had slowly learned to allow him space. It was his way of regulating before things escalated, before his rage took over.

At least she was glad he had taken to stomping around the house instead of storming out, as the sound of the door slamming and the tyres screeching would bring her straight back to being a little girl witnessing her father leave and wondering if he would ever come back.

Now there were less tears, less shouting, less broken chairs, less holes in the wall.

Still, his words ran through her head as she went about her evening tasks.

Perhaps the deep rooted anger he felt towards his father was something she could understand but never fully comprehend, because while Nate desired being completely freed of the burden his father's existence carried, Cassie still craved that reassuring figure in her life guiding her at every turn.

She found Cal's fatherly attention towards their wellbeing comforting and she envied his mentoring of Nate in business. Whether Nate agreed or not, Cal cared about him.

Sometimes, on the rare occasions she got to witness for herself the Jacobs men working as a team, Cal's hand redirecting Nate's attention to a missed detail reminded her of her own father's steadying hands as helped her on the ice for the first time.

To this day, she remembers being six and Lexi being five and their Mom being passed out on a Sunday morning. Gus, who had been trying to get them ready, had blindly picked out the dresses they had worn as flower girls the year prior at their Aunt's wedding. Lexi, who found the tulle itchy and with a faint stain of strawberry frosting on the sleeve, had kicked up a huge stink wanting to change into her favourite overalls instead.

"Sweetie, you look so pretty in your dress though." Gus had tried reasoning with her while fixing her hair, a snapping hair tie away from a nervous breakdown. "Can you please just wear it for a few hours to go to church with Nana?"

She still remembers how her dad would always spray their hair with way too much strawberry flavoured detangler and softly trying to get as many kinks out of their hair. He wouldn't get very far, stopping at every wince, before tying their hair up in a messy bun and calling it a day.

She remembers watching him furiously rub his hand over his face in frustration, the whispered curse words, the tugging of his own hair and the pink hairbrush flung across the room in a moment of frustration.

She remembers looking at herself in the mirror in her ivory dress with pink tulle as Lexi cried in the background. The dress was maybe a little too small for her to wear a year later, since she had proudly grown a few centimetres, her skirt still had a few marks from when she had sat on the grass while playing at the reception and Lexi was right, the tulle was a bit itchy.

She's not sure about what had clued her in already at that age about the larger problems her parents were facing, maybe it was the shouting and crying she could hear when they thought the girls were asleep, maybe it was the way her daddy would sometimes be sitting with them for breakfast and other times he would be missing for days, maybe it was because when he was there he would make the best banana pancakes whereas their mom would sleep through her alarm and give them a bag of stale cereal to eat in the car.

Whatever it was, Cassie remembers watching her dad sitting defeated on the bathroom floor and in that moment thinking she really wanted pancakes tomorrow morning before school.

Make it easy for him to love us, she would remind herself over and over as she witnessed her father grapple with the overwhelming reality of his life.

"I love my dress, daddy." She said with fake enthusiasm, running over to him and Lexi. "Do I look pretty?" She asked with a twirl.

"You look beautiful, princess. Thank you for wearing this for daddy." She can still feel the moisture of her dad's lips on her forehead, the tickle of his overgrown facial hair, the faint scent of coffee and cigarettes, the warmth of his arms pulling her close to him.

Cassie felt his love at that moment.

She had worn the dress with an unfaltering smile. For most of their lives, she had excelled at portraying everything was fine even when it wasn't. She would force a bright smile on her face while her parents shouted profanities next door. She would flash a smile while cleaning the mess their dad made of their kitchen in the midst of an oxy fuelled rage. She plastered a tentative smile as their father drove erratically.

Cassie tried to never complain in front of their dad- terrified that he may never return if the three of them made too much fuss. But that didn't work out all that well for her.

It was probably no surprise she had married a guy like Nate: he was possessive, overbearing and controlling. And to Cassie, dealing with the repercussions of an absentee father, those characteristics sounded as close to love as she could picture. His love was like a gilded cage, like the tallest tower in the biggest castle on the highest hill. It was isolating, but he made her feel so safe in his embrace, in his love.

Still, sometimes she found Nate's constant ungratefulness towards his parents exhausting.

Sure, Nate had been working hard to support their family business on top of his studies, but the lifestyle they kept went beyond what he would have been earning if his father didn't own the company. Had it not been for Cal's financial support, their lives would look a lot different right now. Their home, Nate's car, their furniture, their nice clothes, their organic fruit and vegetables, Nate's college tuition…all of it was possible because his father was helping them pay for it.

They had another Cal related argument a few days later, when Cassie had suggested organising breakfast on Christmas morning with Nate's father.

"Well, he won't be at your Mom's for lunch and I'm sure he would like to see Harvey." She had explained when Nate had questioned her suggestion, her eyes avoiding his harsh stare. "I mean it's Christmas, right? It's sad that he will be alone."

"I think being alone at Christmas is exactly what that asshole deserves. And since when are you so fucking worried about my Dad?" She could hear his voice raise and his heartbeat increase and his skin flush. And much like when she saw Harvey's lip scrunch before he started crying, Cassie could pick the telltale sign of Nate's own meltdown incoming.

To Cassie, the signs of Nate's impending rage were like the sudden sound of lightning before a massive downpour of rain- startling, only to be followed by his usual tirade of shouting and slamming and throwing.

Cassie wondered what made her think, or hope, that Nate's reaction would be anything other than this. She should have known better than to bring up his father. Why would she think for just one second that he could put his ego aside and not deprive their son of a relationship with his only grandfather?

So, after testing the waters unsuccessfully, Cassie had done what she did best when it came to their relationship: retract, apologise, atone.

Her apologies usually ran on loop, "I'm sorry, forget I said anything, you're right, that was stupid of me", she would keep going until Nate's nostrils had stopped flaring and he had slowly made his way back next to her, reluctantly accepting her affection.

A more mature Cassie would ask herself years later whether a part of her would provoke this side of Nate on purpose, whether she was addicted to the toxicity of begging for his love and forgiveness, whether her perception of love was so intertwined with violence and aggression that she was conditioned to put herself in unsettling situations to feel affection.

Like meeting Raphael, Cal's partner.

In all honesty, it had been by pure coincidence that Cassie had bumped into them at the mall as she wandered around for a last minute outfit to wear on New Years Eve.

She had begrudgingly agreed to go to a party with Nate. It would be the usual East Highland Crew, a bunch of people she would be more than happy to not interact with for the remainder of her life. It was funny how the life that seemed so normal to her last year had now become so foreign.

Still, if she had to put herself through the stares and finger pointing of her acquaintances, she wanted to at least look good. And as much as her body had bounced back from pregnancy, elements of her physique had changed. She was curvier, softer, and rounder. Her personal style had changed from teenager to housewife, so her partying wardrobe needed some updating as well.

Had she noticed Cal and Raphael before they had seen her she probably would have hidden from them.

But, as Cassie had come to learn quite well by now, life had other plans and Cal's booming voice grabbed her attention, leaving her awkwardly waving from the escalator.

Shortly after, Cassie found herself sitting down with them for lunch at a new cafe with overpriced Japanese inspired salad. Raphael's suggestion, as he was "dying for a wasabi niçoise".

From first impressions, Raphael was handsome, stylish and charming.

He had a dazzling smile and perfect hair. And while both Cassie and Cal seemed a little awkward at the situation, Raphael talked animatedly enough for all three of them. She found out everything about his life: his Argentinian mother, his French-American father, his love of antiques and dachshunds, his thoughts on Bravo shows.

He had an infectious energy which quickly put her at ease and pushed away thoughts of Nate's reaction to this impromptu get together.

He asks Cassie questions about her life, about her son, about her plans for the holidays and what she was planning to wear to her upcoming soiree. Just like with Gemma, Cassie felt as though the bronzed man sitting across from her- wearing an aura of Baccarat Rouge - was more of an old friend than a forbidden acquaintance.

Halfway through their lunch, Cal excused himself to attend to his ringing phone.

"I had never seen Cal hold a baby- wow, he looks good!" Raphael had joked, fanning himself. "Thank you, though."

"For what?" Cassie had asked surprised, turning her attention back to Raphael, after having rocked Harvey's pram a few times to ensure he stayed asleep for a little longer. She was surprised at how peaceful he had been during their lunch, sleeping away despite the movement and noise around him.

"Letting him have these moments, a little bit of his family. He was in such a dark place when we met, and in such a downwards spiral. Drinking, partying, just destroying his life more and more…I understand why his kids feel the way they do, I really do. Spending time with you and Harvey has helped him so much with his depression." Raphael had reached over to squeeze her hand and Cassie felt at a loss for words. She wondered how much Cal had told his new beau about the situation with Nate, if he knew about the tapes, about Jules, about everything.

However, before Cassie had a chance to pry about his knowledge, Cal had returned to their table with an apologetic look on his face, thus ending all conversation about him.

"I have to head off, apparently there's an issue with some permits so I need to rush back to the office." He looked between both of them spouting off construction jargon that meant very little to her. "How are you getting home, Cass? I can drop you off now, but not sure if you've gotten everything you need."

"Oh no, that's fine, I can catch an Uber-" Raphael had jumped in before she even finished her sentence.

"Nonsense, I can drop you off. Cal and I came separately anyway. Besides, we still need a hot outfit for your party!"

Raphael, ever the gentleman, would not accept no for an answer from her. He dutifully pushed Harvey's pram through the holiday season crowd of the mall, talking a mile a minute and listing off all the designers, colours and styles he thought would look perfect for her.

Hours and a little champagne later, what was meant to be a quick stop at Marais Boutique became a full fledged shopping spree including multiple pairs of shoes, a few dress options and lots of daring lingerie additions. Her fingers hesitated over the terminal as she punched in the pin to Nate's Amex, not used to spending so much money on herself and wondering what Nate's reaction may be. Her husband loved spoiling her and probably spent much more than she just had on clothes for her, but normally it was his taste that dictated the selection of clothes. It was more about what he wanted to see on her than just surprising her with a new outfit. She tried not to think too much about how he would take this newfound fashion independence, the mere concept of this being an issue sounding ridiculous to Cassie herself.

That afternoon, Cassie had laughed like she hadn't in months. Shopping with Raphael reminded her of shopping with Maddy and the fun they would have together, trying on ridiculous outfits and finding the right top that pushed their boobs up just perfectly.

She felt young, confident, carefree- all feelings that felt rarer and rarer to her nowadays.

She had been so caught up in her afternoon of fun that she hadn't even noticed her phone had died at some point during their shopping spree. A sense of unease suddenly clouded over her euphoria of the afternoon.

Gosh, she could just picture the flurry Nate would be in if he tried getting in touch with her without any success. And if he knew who she had spent the afternoon with.

"I should probably go home." She explained before Raphael helped her collect her many shopping bags. The entire car ride was spent with Cassie trying to act normal in front of her new friend, while pushing away the feeling of dread that had come over her. Raphael could feel the anxiety rolling off Cassie as she sat on the edge of her seat for the entire ride.

"Is everything okay?" He had asked multiple times throughout the short drive that felt suddenly endless.

Cassie's request to drop her off in front of their neighbours' home had sparked some red flags in Raphael, making him question whether her situation at home was safe.

"It's fine, you know, just Nate and his dad aren't on the best of terms so…" Cassie had trailed off, hoping Raphael would get the gist of her concerns without too much further explanation.

He did.

He dutifully left her around the corner, well hidden from Nate's imposing truck parked outside their home, before driving off.

Their front door swung open before Cassie's key even turned in the lock.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

There's no smoke without fire,

Baby, baby you're a liar