AU: The General constructs a narrative of John's purported future and decides to deliver it to him... personally.

Chapter 28: Parting Ways

Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 – Stargate Command – General Sam Carter

It was ready. I had read it countless times. Made changes. Re-read it. Deleted whole passages just to rewrite them again with almost the same wording. Rearranged other paragraphs then put them back in the original sequence when the story didn't seem to flow correctly. I imagined I felt just like an author writing a book only this was part of my life and still, I needed an untold number of proofreadings and triple-checks to make sure I hadn't missed a vital clue that would make it all fit together at the end.

I wanted to read it again, but I knew such a thing would be counterproductive because I would end up fretting over the parts that I wasn't 100% happy with which would start the rewriting and re-reading exercise all over again. In the end, I printed what turned out to be six double sided pages, folded them up and stuffed them into an envelope. I had planned on just putting it all on the encrypted USB also inside the envelope but decided against it because I was beyond worrying about others finding out what was on there. The world deserved to know how badly I screwed up and how much I failed Jack O'Neill. All of them.

There were so many ways to say sorry for everything I put him through. Only so many ways to beg for his forgiveness. Even after seven drafts consisting of over 6000 words, I wondered if my apology had conveyed everything. The knowledge that I had shared would hopefully go a little way towards making amends. I could hear his voice in my head even now telling me that there was nothing to be sorry for, but I felt differently. It wasn't just him I was apologising to. In a way, this letter was also for my Jack. The man who would never exist in this timeline again. A man most likely overwritten by the choices this Jack had made after I arrived. Just another way I failed my Jack. Having him erased from existence all because I could not handle seeing him in a past life and even though my Jack would never get to read this, I hoped that somehow, he would know.

Despite the fractured relationship between us, I missed the man that Jack would have become without my interference, even though I had rarely ever seen him once he went to Washington. Every time he visited the SGC or Area 51, he would have this look in his eyes that belayed the terseness of his conversations. A look that – at the time – I failed to understand or subconsciously chose to ignore. It was funny that it took me spending 50 years without him then travelling back 53 years to value the wisdom of hindsight. It was a look that said, 'just say the word Carter because I'm already yours'.

The encrypted USB contained an expanded account of my John's plight including a scanned copy of the classified orders sent via email after I ripped up the original given to me by Hammond and Kennedy, plus copies of the tattered letters sent to John. While my future was undeniably different to what this one would become, I could not shake the irrational fear that John would be forgotten, that he would end up being forced to do something against his will by unscrupulous people. And while several of them were dead after taking Grace, I knew that the organisation was a hydra, and Kinsey was but one head. There were more out there hidden, just waiting to strike.

I couldn't let anything happen to him regardless of our fight yesterday. He deserved to live his own life in his own way. And when I came home from this mission, I would make it my sole mission to ensure that his contract was renegotiated and if not, I'd help him disappear, assuming he even wanted or needed my help. Jack would understand. He had experienced the Ancient library and even though he didn't remember much, he still knew that it was a death sentence.

A soft knock on the door roused my attention and I looked up to find Daniel standing there, arms loosely folded over his chest. His eyes immediately found the thick unsealed envelope with Jack's name written across the front.

"Is that what I think it is?" He asked.

"Depends on what you think it is." I replied solemnly.

"Well, with all due respect, General. It was kind of hard not to hear yesterday's little…" He waved his hand in the air. "…confrontation. Have you seen him since?" I shook my head and swallowed down my emotion, not because of the cameras or not wanting to show how I felt about him. I was past caring about that. Rather, I knew that if I started down that path now, I might lose sight of why I was doing this. John meant the world to me, but so did Jack and without him, I knew I could not save John's life.

"I tried calling the house, but he's either not there or not answering. He won't pick up his cell phone and Harry hasn't seen him either." I answered Daniel's question and any others he may have tacked on the end of the first one. I already had a few ideas as to where I would find him, and while he was anything but predictable, he was a simple man with simple pleasures.

"Are you going to tell him?" Daniel asked the one question I had not thought to pre-emptively answer though should have at least expected that this would come up.

"No."

Daniel sighed, "Why not, Sam? Why do you always insist on keeping him behind doors?" He asked, pointing to his head meaning my metaphorical doors. His question – well questions – hurt more than I was willing to admit. I knew he was referring to both me and the Major. The truth was it had always been easier to keep the line drawn than to complicate things but letting 'feelings' get in the way.

"Because he will try and stop me from going. You saw how insistent he was when we went after Grace. This isn't some little road trip up to Kiowa." I explained, a firmness in my tone that was in no way reflecting the anxiety I felt inside.

"Yeah, a little out of the neighbourhood." He commented with a sideways smile and a hint of silliness on his tone.

"Just a little." I replied, holding my fingers half an inch apart.

"You know he will figure it out." Daniel commented on the bullshit meter John had inherited from Jack through the cloning. He wasn't stupid because Jack wasn't stupid, even with the pretence he maintained most of the time.

"I know." I responded drily, then looked up at him. "How were they? After he… you know." I asked about Jack and his Sam. Daniel smiled and sighed.

"Obvious, by trying not to be obvious." He said with a smile that signalled he was remembering something particularly funny. "Still professional when it counted, but a lot more at ease. You guys… well you always were in sync, but after… well you were more in sync. Almost like you were two halves of the same person." He said then smiled. "You were both at peace. No more awkward behaviour or angsty longing looks. Though I'm pretty sure I caught Jack undressing you with his eyes a few times."

I snorted a laugh at his comment, "Oh, he's been doing that for years. He just used to hide it." I replied remembering all those times I sat opposite him on an infirmary bed while waiting for Janet. There was one time his eyes found mine after they had finished roaming my BDU clad body. Rather than avert his eyes, he just shrugged and smiled.

"Hmm… well Teal'c and Jacob are preparing the Tel'tak. They said it will be ready to go in a few hours." Daniel informed me while I tapped the overfull envelope in my hand. I knew I could leave it here for Jack, but I was worried it would go missing. If that happened, Jack might never find out. I could leave it with one of the team but something in me decided that giving it to John would be the best option. That way if Jack didn't make it, John would know about the future that I didn't want for him and take his survival into his own hands. I owed him that much.

"Do you want to do that first, or Mark's thing?" Daniel asked after the order of my plans.

"I think this first, then I can change into my BDU." I replied, pulling at the collar and little blue tie that I hated. There were three places I knew that Jack liked to escape to when he couldn't go to Minnesota. "I figured he's camping at Pike's Peak."

"Maybe, though I'd try his fishing spot first." Daniel commented, "It's closer and the weather is perfect." He was right.

"Thank you, Daniel." I replied with a smile. He nodded and backed out of the room closing the door. As he retreated, I remembered the time he had come a Prior. While it had been a ruse, maybe if I gave them a heads up, the Ori would never be alerted to our presence. Instead of stumbling upon them by accident, if we went to their galaxy, we would be ready for them. But first, I needed to arrange a car after returning the Volvo to Samantha and transferring the Silverado to John. One of the perks of being a General.

Picking up the phone, I dialled up to the motor pool and had a brief conversation with the Sergeant on the other end before hanging up, taking a deep breath and steeled myself for reliving our struggles with an enemy that made the fractured in-fighting of the Goa'uld look petty and ridiculous.

Pulling up a blank document on my laptop, I began typing as much information as I could remember about the Ori. Their goal of complete and utter religious domination and how we stumbled upon them with those bracelets. Through the whole thing, I managed to avoid mentioning the profound impact Vala had in our lives other than that she was the mother of the Orici. After all, Daniel needed some excitement in his life even if nothing happened between them because Janet was alive.

For the last part, I included the principles behind the anti-Ori device and the major components they would need to construct one knowing that Samantha would certainly put the pieces together without too much hassle. While the device would only prevent them from using their technology, unfortunately I had no other information or ideas on how to stop them because the Odyssey voyage robbed me of the chance to find out if we won. I hoped we did. I hoped that Teal'c got the information to Landry in time so that they could avoid destruction, then it occurred to me that for Teal'c to have used the green crystal, my old future must have been erased slowly, that the effects of my time travel were not immediate.

Either that, or my old team were out there in yet another parallel universe where I had died, and they were all living their lives without me. The quantum theorists would have a field day if they knew any of this. It wasn't every day that a woman broke a time dilation field only to get flung back in time to unwittingly fracture her timeline into two mutually exclusive universes.

Either way, I hoped Teal'c passed on my apologies to Jack. I didn't know how long it would have taken for Jack's decision to take it out of the room to manifest into tangible differences in the future. With Major Sam dead and Samantha in this reality with Grace, things had to be different. Even though it took four weeks after I arrived for things to unfold, the future should have started changing the minute I was gone because as far as they were concerned, Sam was already dead, and Samantha was already here even if it had not happened for me. At length, I saved the document then added it to the encrypted USB before inserting it into the envelope and pressing down the exposed sticky backing.

"General." Colonel Dixon's voice startled me, and I looked up to find him at the door to the briefing room. "Sorry, Ma'am. Your car is ready." He announced. I had not even heard him knock or open the door. Then again, I had insisted that Colonel Dixon treat my door as always open since he was in charge of security.

"Thank you, Colonel." I replied tapping the edge of the envelope on my palm. Coming to my feet, I donned my dress blazer, tucked the envelope away and buttoned it up. Lastly, I retrieved my cover and perched it on my head. The Colonel nodded and stood back holding the door for me.

~ ~ J 💞 S ~ ~

Same day - South Cheyenne Creek – John O'Neill

Rolling my eyes for what must have been the umpteenth time when Ronny cast the fishing line onto the opposite bank of the stream followed by a foot stomp, then turned her head to peer over her shoulder with that sheepish look synonymous with teenage girls.

"I thought you said you could fish." I tutted playfully earning myself a giggling smile that was nothing like Carter but still good to hear regardless. Her shy smiles and laughter had been what drew me to her that first day of school before I met the infamous girlfriends, one of whom I was convinced would give a Goa'uld a run for their money in terms of narcissist tendencies.

"No, I said I used to fish with Dad. I didn't say I could fish." She replied with humour flashing in her eyes. From my spot a few steps up the bank, I slid stepped down two strides when the mud gave way a little reaching out to use her as an anchor. As my arms went around her middle, she burst out laughing and covered my hands with the one she was not using to hold the fishing rod.

"Let me show you." I offered while still clasping her waist.

"OK." She replied and looked over her shoulder with mischief in her eyes. Before I could stop myself, I leaned in an placed a kiss on her nose making her smile brightly. Funnily enough, things didn't feel weird with her anymore. I had spent so long trying to be my old self that I forgot that I was my own person and that I could make my own memories rather than try to hold onto those from a past life.

Sure, I was still an old guy in a kids body but somehow pushing all the idiosyncrasies of who I used to be into the back of my mind and letting the kid have free reign seemed to make things easier. The truth was, I spent too long fighting the inevitable. Hoping and dreaming of a life I couldn't ever have, that I lost sight of the big picture. I had my whole life ahead of me to do things I wanted to do instead of trying to be someone I wasn't.

"Right." I said, then slipped my hands down to hold the rod while still standing behind her. "First, let's reel it in." I instructed and showed her how even though I knew she knew how to do that much. "Casting is all in the wrist."

"Is that right?" She countered cheekily.

"Oh yeah. Now bring your arm back and hold it out to the side." I said, guiding her hand while my other hand moved to sit comfortably across her stomach.

"Like this?"

"Yep."

"OK."

"Flick the bale back, hold the line, arm back then…" The light scratch of her fingernails to the side of my jeans fly made my mind go blank just as I flicked the rod and… let go of the handle instead of just the line sending the whole ensemble into the stream.

"Somehow, I don't think that is how you fish John." Ronny said with a chuckle as she turned to face me wearing a massive smile, her arms wrapping around my neck. Oh yeah, mischief alright. Lots of mischief in those eyes.

"That's mean Veronica." I countered as my arms went around her waist and fingers pressed into her lower back making her sigh.

"Uh-huh, but fun. Though my choice would be more fun." She purred. She had gone from this innocent virgin girl to a sex fiend overnight. She was giving even my lack of refractory period a run for its money.

"Very much so, though I can think of something a little more suitable for public." I replied, then leaned down to kiss her. Her kisses now weren't like they used to be before last night. Previously, they would always be a show put on for other people whether they were her friends, or other boys at school. Now, she was kissing me because she wanted to, not because she felt like she had to for appearances sake. I had a strange feeling that Hudson would not be her date for the party next week, not that she had said anything except that now she was here fishing with me instead of meeting her friends and their boys for lunch.

"Can we go parking?" She asked when we came up for air.

"Huh?" I responded with the shortest word I knew and a raised set of eyebrows.

"Parking." She bit her lip. "Tonight. I'm sure you know places." My eyebrows raised a little higher and I coughed. "Well, you seem to know lots about doing it, I just figured…" I interrupted her with another kiss. Oh, I knew places alright. It was just that it had been a very long time since I had done anything like that and the prospect of being a reckless teenager was more appealing than it probably should have been.

The sound of a slamming car door had me pulling back and turning my head to find a white government car parked on the roadside just as Sam stepped out decked in the full splendour of her dress blues with hard eyes and the stance of a General. The airman who drove her stood at ease by the back door.

"Who is that?" Ronny asked as my hands slipped from her waist and reached up to unclasp her hands from behind my neck. Looking up at her as she waited, the dappled afternoon sun glinting through the trees and bouncing off her stars, I was unable to think of what to refer to her as. She had been my everything for so long, but now she was the person who withheld vital information concerning my future.

"My new CO." I replied to Ronny's question without looking at her.

"What is a CO?" She asked with confusion in her voice that had me looking away from the General. The confusion on her face reminded me that she had no affiliation with the military and that she would not know that anagram.

"Commanding Officer."

"Oh, you're still going to the Academy then?" She asked.

"Yeah. It's kind of a family thing." I explained as best I could since she had been told that my entire family was military or worked with the military.

"Oh, OK."

"Look, Ronny." I said to stop her line of questioning, "Stay here and umm…" I faltered because I honestly didn't know what to say. Surely the General would not discuss anything classified in such an open space. She looked at me with a tilt of her head. "Just stay here." I repeated, then released her hands and walked up the embankment.

"General." I said when I got there, forgoing the mandatory salute because screw that, not when they were forcing me into something I didn't want, and she knew about it. Besides, I was feeling particularly insubordinate today.

"John." She said, the rigid hardness in her voice seeping out as she looked at Veronica. "Who is she?" The General asked with a raise of a single eyebrow yet no reflection of any emotion in her features. Her sharp blue eyes and stony demeanour reminded me of my first CO before I met Harry. A woman stationed at Lackland who had no sense of humour and even less patience.

"Not that it's any of your business, but she is Veronica." I replied coldly while crossing my arms over my chest. The General eyed her, then me and then her again when a flash of recognition crossed her eyes.

"I hope you used protection." She ground out the phrase that had me blinking and my mouth gaping a little before I managed to get it under control. "Don't bother telling me you didn't do anything. I've been around long enough to recognise a girl freshly 'inducted' into the world of sex." She added with a tone of approval that infuriated me. It was as if she were simultaneously angry and happy that I had been with another woman, and Ronny was a woman albeit a young one.

"Again, not your business." I replied through gritted teeth.

"That is where you are wrong, Cadet. Everything to do with you is my business." She replied, "If you get her pregnant, it is my business because of your DNA."

"That is where you are wrong, General. And, for the record, I am not that stupid, Ma'am. Now if you don't mind, me and my DNA are going to go back to what we were doing." I turned her words around, then turned to walk away.

"John, please. I'm sorry. I came here for a reason." She said to my back in almost a pleading manner that I could not ignore. I turned back to find her a little closer.

"Let's keep this strictly professional, General. I'm sure you can remember how to do that. You've had years of experience." I replied, refusing to allow her to break through the walls I had spent the last 24-hours rebuilding from scratch, but only where she was concerned.

"Fine, if that's what you want." She said, standing a little taller and smoothing down her wrinkle free blazer.

"What do you want, Ma'am." I asked, perhaps a little more harshly than she deserved. She sighed and withdrew a thick envelope from her coat pocket, then ran the edge across her palm while looking at it. At length, she held it out towards me.

"More orders?" I queried as I retrieved the envelope from her outstretched hand.

"No. It's a letter. For your Uncle. When he returns." She offered just as I turned it over to find my full name written in her elegant cursive script that I knew so well.

"My U... What? Why are you giving it to me then?" I barked and tried to hand it back. She bristled, her facial features becoming stony and professional once again. Looking at her, I could no longer see the woman I had spent three months with at the cabin. She was gone, and in her place was the woman I found on the sofa in Cascade wrapped in a uniform rather than a moth-eaten blanket.

"So you can pass it on when he gets home."

"Why don't you do it?" I insistently asked as she stared back with grey blue eyes.

"Because I'm ordering you to do it, Cadet." She stated in a no-nonsense tone before executing a sharp turn and walked back to her car, the door already open and waiting. She stopped at the door and looked back at me as I held the envelope aloft in my hand.

"As you were, airman." She said by the way of dismissal, then climbed in the car. The door closed with an echoing finality, then the driver – whom I didn't recognise – ensconced himself into the driver's seat and the vehicle pulled away. As they passed, I could just see her looking in my direction through the tinted windows leaving me with a sick sense that I had missed something vital. That perhaps this was a goodbye of some kind. The very thought filled me with a strange feeling of discontent that I didn't know how to identify.

"John." Ronny called out. "What's going on?" She asked. Turning my eyes from the retreating car to Ronny who was still standing at the bottom of the embankment, I tapped the letter in my hand feeling the heaviness that could only be several pages of paper and something else.

"Just another hoop." I murmured succinctly as I tucked the letter into my jacket pocket, vowing not to think about it until tomorrow then trudged back down the slope towards my – dare I say it – girlfriend to resume our fishing expedition.