"How you feeling after yesterday, old man? Still ready to go out today?" Lara asked Rick with a little smile over breakfast.
"Hey, I did just fine yesterday. You were the hungover one. I thought we were gonna have to peel you off the floor at one point," Rick chuckled at her.
He wasn't wrong.
The day before had been the first rainy day. Every time that it rained, the first day of the rain, was a day off for everyone with the exception of kitchen duty and guard duty, but those shifts were cut down dramatically and shared out. Unless some of the group were out of the Pound anyway. During the rainy day the group played games, did competitions, ran races. Anything to make the kids, kids again, and to get the adults in high spirits. Usually Lara loved rainy days. That had been awful though.
She had got scooters on a run and had made a course for the scooters with obstacles and divided the group into teams so it was like a relay race. She had fallen off her scooter. Three times. It had caused much hilarity. For everyone except her. Though she felt better as Daryl basically swam through the mud outside as he couldn't keep his balance in his hungover state during the mud run.
She had promised herself that she was never drinking again after that.
Today though, she was sober and clear, ready for the run to the hardware store with Rick. It should be simple enough. They had a list, a van and it was only an hour out. The walkie talkies connected that far so if there was any trouble they could radio for help.
Lara was still on the fence about Rick, though during the rainy day he had really made an effort. She had appreciated that, but more importantly his son had lit up at his dad playing along. Carl had smiled his first proper smile that she had seen since being at the Pound.
She thought an hour was ample enough time for them to discuss things and then an hour back if they still weren't on similar pages. If not she was gonna have to think long and hard.
"You wouldn't be wrong. I felt like roadkill," Lara said with a self-deprecating smile. She had probably looked and smelt like it too. "We're leaving in ten if that's enough time for you?"
"I'll be ready," he said with a nod. He looked serious, he knew this wasn't just about the run.
Lara nodded back and then walked over to shove bags and a few supplies in the van they were taking.
"I don't like this," Candyman was waiting by the van.
"You don't have to," Lara replied with a raised eyebrow.
"You trained with Darylina constantly b'fore ya went with him as ya backup. Ya haven't trained once with Ranger Rick," he continued as if she hadn't spoken. As usual. He had a problem listening.
"Daryl was coming on what I knew was a dangerous and serious run. We don't need this stuff urgently, if I come back empty handed it won't be an issue. It's only an hour out and last time I checked it out there were no shitbrains. Which is why it's on the okay list, as ya know," Lara replied, tired of arguing with him about the same thing. She knew he was just concerned about her. She appreciated that. But it bugged the hell outta her.
"Yer a fuckin' idiot. Go on yer suicide run. Ya come back with any injury at all I'm gonna tan ya hide," Candyman growled at her before stomping away.
Lara shook her head, before hopping into the van and checking she had everything again. She did think this was an easy run, but anything could go wrong, she knew that. The outside was dangerous, no matter how many precautions you took, to forget that meant death. It was why she took training everyone as seriously as she did. She wanted everyone, even the kids to be able to handle themselves if they should be outside the walls.
After double checking everything, including her weapons and the CDs she had, Lara started getting impatient. Where the hell was Rick? Ten minutes meant ten minutes. She was an impatient person when waiting on others. And she had run out of cigarettes, which didn't help matters. The selfish prick Merle had hidden his. She had checked his room.
"Ready?" Rick asked as he opened the door to the van and jumped in.
"Yup," Lara said before leaning out of the window and raising her hand at Glenn who was opening the gates for them. She was determined to spend the last week getting some one on one time with all the new group before she formed any opinions about how the vote should go.
The first five minutes were spent in silence as they started the journey. Lara was waiting on Rick and she assumed he was waiting on her.
"I get the feeling that ya don't like me much," Lara said, unable to hold out any longer. Again her lack of patience coming forward.
"Now that's not true," Rick countered. "I just… I'm uneasy being in a group led by Merle and by someone… inexperienced."
At least he was kinda diplomatic.
"Before you came here am I right in saying that ya had one interaction with Merle. Which was while he was high in a stressful situation?" Lara asked, knowing the truth of the matter.
"Ya know ya are," Rick replied.
"The guy you met, I met. That guy I wouldn't trust with a hamster. The guy he is now, is a good guy. He's careful, strategic, antagonistic, he cares even if he pretends not to. He's a father figure for two girls and he looks out for the group, whether he cares about the individuals or not. He's still hot headed, he's still got a wicked temper but he's a good guy ya want on your side," Lara said. She meant every word. The Merle she had rescued at the side of the road was a mean son of a bitch who would rather watch you burn while he laughed than hand you a bucket of water. Merle now would consider whether you were worth saving at least.
"You make… a point," Rick conceded slowly. A thoughtful look on his face.
"And as for inexperienced, how do you mean?" Lara asked.
"You're a kid. And you're safe behind those walls. I don't think you know how to survive in the world now enough to lead," Rick said honestly. She appreciated that. Maybe she could get on with him. Maybe he could even be Eastwood again.
"I don't want to lead. I do not want to wake up every night in a cold sweat worrying about what comes next, worrying about every eventuality. I have never wanted to lead. It's not who I am or have ever been," Lara told Rick. She wasn't someone you would have put in charge of a goldfish before this. She was pretty sure that she still shouldn't have a pet of any kind.
"But you do," Rick said.
"Because they turn to me. I found every single one of the people there. Outside those walls. Which I lived outside of on my own until I came across Merle. We've had walls for four months, give or take. That's all. Whatever you think of me, know that I know what it's like. Running every minute, scared of what comes next, of where to find shelter, food, how to avoid other groups who mean ya harm, how to avoid herds of walkers you can't possibly escape. Of staying up all night except for an hour or two at daylight. And I work damn hard to make sure that every single person within those walls could survive if the walls fall," Lara said passionately. Her eyes glancing from the road to the man next to her who was listening to every word. "Also I'm twenty five, or six, not exactly ready for my social security check but I ain't a kid either."
"Who's the newest additions to your group?" Rick asked thoughtfully.
"Backer and Elmo, they've been with us coming up three weeks I think," Lara said. Time passed differently though now. It wasn't measured properly anymore. Some days passed in a blink and some stretched out for what felt like years, days where there was no rest, no break, no let up.
"I wouldn't have been able to guess," Rick replied with raised eyebrows.
"Once you're accepted, that's it. By the second week with us they felt like family already. It was a hard week and they were there for it. Bonds forged in war," Lara tried to explain as best she could. She hoped, after having a group himself, he knew what she meant.
Silence once more fell upon them as they traversed a town and small groups of walkers passed them by.
"I worry. I worry we'll get soft behind the walls. But I know we need this. I'm scared to give up control, because then… if something goes wrong, I'm holding someone else accountable. I'm doubting myself that maybe I could have done better," Rick said quietly, facing his window and not looking at her.
"That I do get," Lara sighed. She had never wanted to be a leader, but she had also worried about having others in charge. It was a double edged sword and she had worried she was gonna impale herself on it. The system so far seemed to be working though.
"We have the board, who make general decisions, I kind of oversee things. I don't particularly want to but it's how it happened. If things work out between our two groups, you would be on it. Maybe another of you as well. We'll see about that. Anyway, just because we make the decisions, doesn't mean we can't be questioned or challenged. Other people have good ideas, better ideas, safer ideas. That's important and it's important to listen, but it's also important to have people who can say no this is what is happening."
Rick nodded and carried on looking out of the window. His chin was cupped between two fingers.
"I have another question, actually two," Lara said, not too far from the hardware store.
"Go on," he prompted her.
"What do you think can be improved on what you've seen so far?" Lara asked. It was a question she asked everyone. They couldn't be better, be stronger without new ideas.
"You need to clear the whole prison. Make it safe. Find out if there's other things within your walls you can use," Rick said instantly. Lara nodded. It was what Candyman was working on for the next week or two. Something they already knew. But good nonetheless. "What's your other question?"
"Why d'ya hate me spending time with others of your group so much? If ya worried about me bein' a bad influence, well ya not wrong. And if we had met during our previous lives you very well may have been the one taking me to a prison not the other way round. Generally though, I like to think I'm no more dangerous or annoying than any other survivor," Lara said. She was genuinely curious. She had seen the looks he had sent her at meal times. When she had been training with Daryl and when she had been talking to Carol about Twink and the special care the little girl needed.
"Not sure what ya mean about that." Lara let it slide though she was disappointed that he had lied to her for the first time. The sheriff or whatever he had been, had a bad poker face. His voice paused just a beat too long when he was lying. She didn't think he knew or he would have made an effort to hide it. She wouldn't be the one to tell him though, she liked that he had a tell, made things easier.
The hardware store came into view then, the parking lot empty of shitbrains and the cars in the lot already picked clean. She knew because she had been the one to do it. She hadn't been inside the store though. Yet. They hadn't needed to before now.
"Okay, this is how we do it. You take the back, I take the front, we meet in the middle," Lara said, grabbing bags and putting them around herself before passing some to Rick.
"We shouldn't split up, we don't know what's in there," Rick countered with a frown.
"Well alright then," Lara nodded with a smirk.
"That was a test, wasn't it?" Rick looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"Got to have people who can call a bad decision," Lara shrugged unapologetically. She did it to everyone. Testing where and how she could rely on them. Everyone hated it. Especially those who didn't challenge her on bad calls. "We have the lists, let's get in and out, make this as quick as we can. No one gets eaten or killed."
"Well I like that plan better," Rick smirked before they both got out of the cab.
Together they made their way carefully through the lot. Watching around cars and keeping an eye out for crawlers. She hated ankle biters, for her they were the biggest danger. They came out of nowhere and took out your ankles. Fuckers.
Lara took point and she was impressed with the way Rick automatically looked over her back. He wasn't as light on his feet or as stealthy but she saw some of the same moves as Merle and Daryl in his style. Maybe because he and Daryl had been together so long now.
When they reached the doors Lara looked at Rick who nodded at her. She raised her hunting knife, which she never hunted with as she was useless at it, and knocked loudly three times at the door.
Four shitbrains ambled to the door, all wearing employee clothes. One was so badly damaged she couldn't tell if it had been a female or male while alive.
"You good with those odds?" Lara whispered. She knew she could take down four on her own, but she wouldn't risk someone who felt unhappy with it. Seeing as how he had helped her with a herd when they first met she doubted he would have a problem, however she had to check.
Rick raised his brows at her and smirked, giving her his answer.
Lara pulled out her throwing knives and put her hunting knife away. She counted down from three and as Rick opened the door she threw three of her knives one after the other. The fourth missed. She frowned, how did that happen? She never missed. Maybe that one had been from an old set and she hadn't realized. Maybe it wasn't balanced right. She'd check them all later. Rick took out the fourth shitbrain with a knife of his own.
"Good aim," Rick complimented.
"Eh, I missed one," Lara grumbled as she picked out her knives from the desiccated bodies, the smell of the decaying flesh strong in her nose and in the store.
"Right, let's do a sweep before we shop," Lara whispered, she didn't like the smell. It was too strong in the large open space for just four shitbrains.
Rick nodded, taking point this time, his knife in one hand, a huge ass gun in the other. What the hell? Was he compensating for something? They'd hear that thing for miles if he used it.
The store had ample windows lighting up the place but the aisles were gloomy, shadows casting places that could hide untold dangers.
Lara's heartbeat picked up as they slowly made their way down the first aisle. No matter how many times she did this shit it was always so fucking eerie. Accepting that the world had ended, that something could jump out at you and kill you at any moment, was something you surprisingly got used to. The silence wasn't though. The absence of any sound except for Rick's muffled footsteps sent a chill down her spine.
They had just passed a shadowy space, that Rick had side stepped instinctively when a shitbrain launched itself from one of the large shelves that was partially hidden. Without thinking Lara put a knife in its head before it could grab onto Rick who had turned a beat too late.
Rick nodded at her and they carried on.
At the end of the first aisle the smell of putrefaction got stronger. Lara pulled out a bandana and put it over her nose to help a little. She didn't need her eyes watering, obscuring her vision. Rick pulled his sweater up over his nose.
They both stopped at the end of the aisle. A set of double doors opposite them, a staff area or storage area she presumed, was blocked by a sturdy bit of wood. The wood had begun cracking at some point. Right now there was no danger but Lara didn't think the risk was worth it. They didn't know how many, if any, were behind there.
"Come back another day with a bigger group," Lara whispered, her eyes on the door.
"Yeah," Rick nodded.
Lara turned, following Rick back the way they had come. The shadows seemingly more sinister now.
She wasn't watching her feet, instead looking behind them to make sure their backs were covered. A spray can had been left or knocked onto the floor at some point. Lara's foot sent it rolling across the concrete floor. The sound seemed to echo in the silent building. A rattling, metallic, rolling noise that grated and made her heart spike.
Lara looked over her shoulder. Banging started coming from the doors that were still closed. Loud banging. Almost rhythmic.
Her eyes widened as the doors bowed and the wood holding them closed splintered further. Time for discretion had passed.
"Go!" Lara yelled at Rick as she sprinted down the aisle that seemed longer now. Rick in front of her was running full out.
She heard the door splinter as they reached the end, back the way they had come.
Rick was out of the door and running for the van. As he was closer she threw the keys at him. He caught them and had thrown himself inside before she reached the passenger door.
"Shit," Lara breathed out, her breath coming in pants as Rick started the van.
"Wait, I want to see how many there are," she said to him as he started driving away.
They didn't have to wait long for them to start coming out of the store. Lara did a quick headcount, noting that more would be inside the store and that she could miss some. Seventeen. More than they should take on alone. It was doable but not worth the risk. Not then.
"Alright. Thanks," Lara said, buckling up as they left, empty handed. Some of the ideas the board had come up with would have to wait until she had a better plan to tackle the hardware store. Or at least a bigger group.
"Well that was a shit show. Sorry," Lara said, more than a little pissed at herself. If she had scouted the building properly rather than just taken out the surrounding issues and knocking at the door… She had thought it would be simple. Thought they could handle it.
"Hey, it happens," Rick said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Not to me, not to my groups," she said bitterly. She had screwed up. She had almost cost a father his life.
"We're both alive. No harm, no foul," Rick tried again. She could really use a cigarette.
Ignoring his attempts at making her feel better Lara started going through the things in the van. This one was the one Red and Jane had taken. She hoped they hadn't been through it yet. Maybe she would find some smokes.
Lara actually found a half full packet of the things. At least something was going right.
She wound the window down and lit up. She knew she didn't deserve the small release the cigarette was providing but she couldn't deprive herself either. How had she screwed up so badly? Was she getting cocky? Was being behind the walls turning her soft?
"It really is okay, you know," Rick said in the silence.
"No. It's not. Would you have accepted a failure like that?" Lara asked with raised eyebrows as she took a deep drag and let the smoke burn her throat and lungs.
"It wasn't a failure, you got us out, made the safe call before we knew what was comin'," Rick countered.
"How would you feel if you were the one leading?" Lara replied.
"Not so great. But I wouldn't have scouted ahead. I wouldn't have safe houses nearby just in case. I didn't train kids to take care of themself and I don't trust others," Rick said softly.
"Trust has to be earnt, but we're stronger together than apart," Lara said, her tongue seeking out the groove in her lip. "I was maybe a few days off swallowing a bullet before I found Merle. On your own, with no real purpose other than to not die, shit gets to you. We need each other, to be strong we need others."
They lapsed back into silence as Rick drove. He wasn't a bad driver but he stuck to the speed limit which was a little redundant now. It wasn't like they were gonna get pulled after all.
Lara was lost in her thoughts. Thinking about what she would do differently, better next time. How she would make up for her mistake. Because of her, work was going to be delayed. She would make it up to the group. She had to.
They weren't too far away when her walkie talkie came to life.
"Princess we have a code red," the static wasn't loud enough to drown out the voice of Michonne, nor the panic that hit her so hard at the words that she felt faint.
"How many?" Lara asked sharply, not letting the panic take hold.
"Seven we can see. On motorbikes," Kill Bill replied quickly.
"Have Axel and Meridith take the kids, Lori, Carol and Beth. I want Bob ready to sound the alarm with Hershel in case we need medical. Where's Merle?" Lara rattled off.
"Out hunting with Daryl," Michonne reported.
"Take yourself, Abraham and Oscar to initiate first contact. Sharpshooters ready. Have Sasha take Glenn and Maggie with her team. The others on the inner gate. We are five minutes away. I'll be coming in behind. Have them watch for me. Sound the alarm for a beat of five. Do not attempt to make contact with Merle, we don't know if there's more hidden," Lara said clearly and calmly.
"On it. See you soon," Michonne replied.
"Be careful," Lara replied. "Radio silence from here." With that she turned off the walkie talkie and looked at Rick. "Punch it."
"What's a code red? What's happening?" Rick asked as he pushed the van as hard as it would go.
"It means shits bad," Lara said unnecessarily. She checked her weapons, discarding the bad throwing knife and adding the extra guns she always packed before putting some next to Rick. An icy cold feeling of dread and rage attacked her.
01010101010
Daryl drove his knife through the skull of a Walker who had once been a fat fucker and was now just a dead fat fucker with more force than was warrented. He needed to take his temper out on something though, otherwise he was likely to turn the knife on his brother.
Merle was an asshole. Merle had always been an asshole, but he had always been a smart asshole. Had a missing year really suddenly turned him into a stupid pussy? Because that's how he was fuckin' acting.
"I'm tellin' ya, that's just a cottontail, we need to head this way for bigger game," Merle carried on as though they hadn't just taken out six Walkers. "Are ya fuckin' stupid boy?"
"Are you?" Daryl asked, finally losing his temper. "You've been trackin' longer than me, do ya need glasses or some shit? Because Old Man that is not fuckin' rabbit tracks, it's hare, a few of them. Will keep things going for a week! Those tracks you're pointing out are at least three days old. Ain't gonna track that," Daryl snarled. He didn't talk back to his brother usually. Or he hadn't. Merle wasn't the only one who had changed over the past year. He wasn't his brother's errand boy or keeper anymore. He was his own man. "We are goin' this way."
"Good to see those balls. Was worried Officer Friendly carried them in his back pocket," Merle chuckled before hitting Daryl in the back with a meaty hand, that was only slightly too hard.
"The fuck?"
"The others wanted me ta test ya. Actually Princess did. She's a bitch about these things. Don't repeat that though she'll kick ya ass. Or try and get herself hurt," Merle snickered as he followed the hare tracks, his voice dropping to a whisper. His footsteps silent.
"A test? What for?" Daryl frowned at his brother's back.
"She's contemplating havin' two of your little pussy group on the board as there's so many of ya. But she didn't want you if ya couldn't stand up to me over a stupid decision," Merle said, more open then he'd been since childhood.
"Ya want me on your parole board?" Daryl asked, very confused. He wasn't a leader. That was Rick. He was just the asshole who hunted and looked out for the group. That was it. He wasn't a leader.
"Parole board, ha, that's actually funny little brother, who would have known you do actually have a sense o' humor? I do. So does Lara. The others will spend time with ya this week, so have fuckin' fun with that. To be honest, I reckon you and Kill Bill will have a ball just fuckin' gruntin' at each other," Merle let out a bark of laughter at his own wit. Daryl carried on scowling. He didn't want to have to spend time with other assholes. He was already surrounded by too many.
And what did he mean Lara wanted him on the board? Why? He'd followed her lead while they'd been on the run, hadn't shown any leadership at all. In fact because of his candyass she was almost… his hands clenched. Merle was probably bullshittin'. Daryl wasn't gonna give it another thought. Fuckin' Merle always thought he was being funny when he was being a dick.
Just as Daryl had predicted they came across a drove of hares. Seven of them. If they took five it would feed the now large group for a week if they were rationed. An' it left two ta keep the area populated.
Daryl raised his crossbow, the heavy feeling of it in his arms bringing him comfort as he took aim. A blaring alarm made the hares run though and had him swinging around, his heart pumping the blood faster through his veins.
"Wha' tha fuck is that?" Daryl asked, standing up from his crouched position.
Instead of answering Merle took off at a run. Without thought Daryl followed behind.
It was only five seconds before whatever the fuck made that noise stopped. Those five seconds though were enough. Groans echoed through the forest, the dead that may have stood still, in suspended animation, now fully awake and looking for food.
"Wha' is it?" Daryl asked, his breath only slightly laboured as he easily caught up with his brother.
"That was the panic button. Something's gone wrong at the prison. They ain't radioed us, meanin' we got some gatecrashers," Merle said, his breaths coming out in furious pants as his arms worked to push himself faster. They were maybe ten minutes out at this speed.
When they got closer to the prison, close enough to see the looming guard towers Merle put up his hand and started stalkin' through the woods instead of running. Daryl automatically crouched as well. He listened for anything but heard nothing except the faint groans of walkers. Far enough away not to worry 'em. Yet.
A twig snapped to Daryl's right and he brought his crossbow up ready to fire.
"It's just us!" Came Glenn's almost panicked whisper from behind a tree.
"What's going on?" Merle asked in a growl.
"Candyman," a voice to their left said. "Glenn and I am in position with snipers. The others are in position up front. We have seven knocking at the door. Kill Bill, Red and Grouch are takin' lead for now. Lara is en route. Kids are prepped and ready to go if needed."
"Daryl and me'll be back up for the idiot when she gets here," Merle said, his voice strained as he waved Daryl forward through the forest.
"Idiot?" Daryl whispered.
"Fuckin' Princess. Stupid bitch'll hop in with both feet, a plan already in that empty brain o' hers. One that'll protect tha rest of 'em but is likely to get 'er killed," Merle's voice was strained with anger. What brought Daryl up short though was the worry in his voice. It was still so odd knowin' that Merle cared about someone that wasn't himself or kin.
They got in position, able to see what was happening and hear it too.
There were five Harley's in front of the gate. Four men sat astride them. Two of the men had women ridin' bitch. A guy with a thick beard stood talking to Red, Kill Bill and Grouch. All of them were heavily armed and looked ready to fire at the three, vulnerable looking people at the gate. Even from the forest Daryl could feel the thick heavy tension pouring off everyone.
"Well hi there neighbourino's! Not our turn to host book club this week so we weren't expectin' y'all!"
Daryl closed his eyes for a moment. Merle was right she was stupid.
Six guns trained on Lara who didn't bat an eye and who remained unarmed. A smirk was across her plump lips, her gait strong and unaffected. Walking into the middle of the hostile group in dark jeans with a bright red top and her leather jacket, with weapons dripping off her, not a care in the world, she looked the definition of badass. She was also a fuckin' idiot that Daryl wanted to scream at.
She was gonna get herself killed.