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Chapter 21: A Hotel Raid For This Pervert!

Part 1

With the Tranquility Girl dealt with, we advanced through the third floor.

It didn't take too long until we encountered the female orcs Mitsurugi warned us about.

"Sniff… Sniff… That's strange, I thought I smelled a man… But it's just a group of worthless females…"

The Orcs glanced at us, sniffed the air a few times, then went away.

"I can't believe this thing worked."

Megumin said, touching the wig I had on.

When Mitsurugi told me about those orcs, I went to a costume store and bought a cosplay outfit for 2,000 Yen.

I also borrowed a perfume from Darkness and emptied the bottle by spraying myself in it.

"...That was expensive perfume, you know."

Darkness grumbled, looking pitifully at the empty bottle.

"This privileged ojou-sama shouldn't complain."

Aqua smirked as she took her phone out and took pictures.

"Oi, no pictures."

I said, trying to cover my face as Aqua kept snapping pics.

"Pffft! You're pretty cute as a girl, Kazuma! You're probably cuter as a girl than as a guy!"

"Maybe because of his effeminate features."

Megumin joined Aqua in the teasing.

I held my hands out to them.

"[Steal]."

A pair of panties appeared in my hands.

"...?! Give those back…!"

Megumin blushed and asked for them back.

Aqua just laughed at me and kept taking pictures.

"Oh, is it laundry day, Kazuko-chan? Gonna give your panties a wash?"

Somehow, Aqua found a way to make me give the panties back to them.

"...I feel left out."

Darkness said, looking enviously at the other girls.

"Geez, Kazuma… You should learn to take a joke."

Megumin said, as she slid her panties up her legs.

"That's easy to say when you're not on the receiving end!"

I said, wanting to take my disguise off, but I didn't know if the Female Orcs would appear again.

"Kazuma's one of those types who doesn't bat an eye when he's mocking others, but he will cry and whine when others make fun of him."

Aqua said, putting her panties back on as well. I regretted giving them back so easily.

"He's the ideal man."

Darkness said, nodding approvingly at Aqua's evaluations of me.

"You shouldn't accept that kind of insult, Kazuma-san."

Aqua snickered, elbowing me repeatedly.

"B-But I was praising him…"

"Exactly."

You learned the [Disguise] skill!

[Disguise] Skill Rank: 1, Passive Skill

You change your appearance using props and clothing to fool others. Effectiveness of the disguise is determined by your 'Cunning' (80) against the target's 'Perception'.

I got a skill just from crossdressing.

We continued on in the dungeon, setting up kills for Megumin.

The enemies were stronger than in the second floor, but the party composition we had was actually pretty useful in taking on these monsters.

That was until…

"[God Blow]!"

…Aqua decided to break formation.

"What are you doing, useless goddess?"

"How dare you call me useless! I beat up that big snake thingy, didn't I?"

"You're supposed to support us from the rear! What if you get caught out of position?! Then we won't have any buffs and healing! Besides, this is supposed to help Megumin level up, so why are you taking the kills?!"

"Isn't it unfair that I'm the only one not getting any EXP?! Kazuma gets the occasional kill and even Darkness gets lucky and hits something! Meanwhile, Megumin gets a free ride from all my efforts! I'm the only one sacrificing here!"

"Can't you be selfless for once in your life?! Just take the backseat for now!"

Megumin sighed and said,

"Aqua has a point. If I was in her position, I would have casted explosion out of boredom by now."

"See, see? Megumin is agreeing with me!"

I wanted to argue with them, but I knew that Aqua would just go rogue again if we didn't let her have her way, at least for now.

"Fine, we'll support Aqua this time."

"That's more like it! Now, just follow my… Wahhh…!"

She couldn't even take a full step forward before something appeared from the shadows, latched onto her ankle and pulled her up.

"What's this?! Oi, Kazuma, how come you didn't warn me! I know you have [Enemy Detection]!"

"...That thing must have surpassed my perception. It doesn't work all the time."

"Useless! You're always calling me useless, but you're the one who's useless, Kazuma! Now get me down from here!"

I used [Enemy Reading] and [Lore Reading] to get information about this enemy. Apparently, it was called a 'Roper', a tentacle monster that had a liking for assaulting women.

…First there were the Female Orcs that assaulted men, then these tentacle monsters that assaulted women. What was wrong with this floor?

"Don't worry, Aqua! I'm coming to save you!"

Darkness leapt towards the tentacle monster.

"[Bind]!"

I threw a rope and subdued her before the tentacles could latch onto her.

"Kazuma! Why do you deny me my pleasures?!"

"I'll give you whatever 'pleasures' you want another time! Just be useful for once in your depraved existence and use [Taunt]!"

Darkness wept a bit at my hurtful words, piercing through even her masochistic tendencies. She used the [Taunt] skill to attract the tentacles.

"[Create Water]! [Freeze]!"

I created a slippery surface in the hallway, then kicked the tied up Darkness along it.

"Thank you very muuuuch~!"

Darkness's voice trailed off as she slid down the icy floor.

The Roper tried to chase after Darkness, squirming along the roof. I grabbed Aqua's torso and pulled her down.

"Kazuma-saaaan! I wuuuv youuuu!"

She attempted to kiss me, but I held her back.

"Oi! There's still a fight going on! Focus or Darkness is gonna…"

"Kyaaaa!"

It was too late.

"I-I'm tied up by Kazuma's [Bind] and this tentacle monster is… I-I'm so blessed!"

Darkness had a grateful look on her face as she enjoyed the double play.

Just as I was thinking about what I should do, Megumin took out something from her inventory. I took one look at it and recognized it as a grenade.

"...Oi. Megumin, where'd you get that? I promise not to tell the police, so…"

"My father is a lunatic who makes hobby military weapons."

"I hate to tell you this, but weapons from our world don't work in the dungeon."

"It's fine, because I had him replace the shrapnel inside with the ghoul claw caltrops you gave me last time."

So that was what she used those leftovers for.

"That will be really useful now… Wait, why did you describe your father as a lunatic?"

"Because his creations don't work half the time."

"Don't use that, then."

Despite my warning, Megumin threw the grenade.

I couldn't use [Steal] on it, since it'd just explode in my hands. I had no other option but to watch it fly in the air.

"Fuehehe… I'm gonna enjoy this blonde beauty~! She's even tied up already~! Gahhh! What is this…?!"

With [Monster Talk, I understood what the Roper was saying.

The ghoul claw shrapnel paralyzed the Roper and it fell down from the ceiling.

Megumin and I finished it off.

Part 2

"I'm surprised my father's grenade worked."

Megumin said, as I untied the bound Darkness.

"I'm more surprised that you used something that might not have actually worked."

"Wahhh! I hate this dungeon! I wanna go home!"

Even though Aqua was the one who wanted to be in the frontline, she was already crying about wanting to go home.

"Well, I leveled up a fair bit, so I'm fine with going home."

Megumin said, checking her app to look over her stats. When she started rapidly tapping on the screen, I had no doubt that she was putting all her points on explosion magic.

I also gained a fair bit of EXP, gaining 50 from the kills I got while trying to set up for Megumin.

"...We should party up more often."

Darkness said, with a suspicious blush on her face.

"Yeah, we're pretty effective as a group, huh?"

Megumin smiled at her, even though Darkness's intentions were far from innocent.

That masochist was probably thinking that our group attracted all sorts of trouble. She probably didn't run into as many issues when she was dungeon crawling with Chris.

Before I could reject the offer, Aqua said,

"Let's form an official party, then!"

She broke out of her foul mood pretty quickly.

I couldn't say anything anymore once they all got invested in the idea.

Still, I couldn't deny that it was probably a good idea to party up as we went down the lower floors.

…

…

"So, why am I here with you?"

I asked Megumin, when she asked me to follow her. She led me to the junkyard again.

"To help carry me after I use explosion, of course!"

I should have seen that coming.

As long as she was willing to pay the groping tax, I was fine with it.

And that was exactly what I did after she unleashed a big explosion that rocked the entire junkard.

"Kazuma… You've gotten more bold compared to last time."

She said, as I didn't even try to hide the way I was groping her bum now, as I was carrying her on my back.

"The intensity of my groping reflects how good your explosion's score was."

"...! Kazuma is groping me a lot now, so my score must have really been good!"

"Exactly."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

She didn't fall for it at all.

"Let this be a lesson, Megumin. Nothing comes free in this world."

"Don't try to twist this into some life lesson. You just want to touch my butt, perv."

I was too used to Aqua. Megumin was a lot sharper.

"Still, I suppose I can overlook this… Kazuma's done a lot for me, after all."

She started giggling and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"..."

"What's the matter, Kazuma? You suddenly stopped."

How could I keep groping her when she says something sweet like that?

"Ohh… I get it. Kazuma is the type who acts like a big, bad pervert, but when it comes down to it, you're just a kind softie, aren't you?"

"You sure are assuming a lot about me."

"But that's the truth, isn't it? Otherwise, you'd be going crazy right now with my body while I can't move."

"What kind of criminal do you view me as?!"

"The kind who'd grope Darkness's butt in the dungeon?"

"She told you about that?!"

She seemed embarrassed about it as well, so I didn't think Darkness would gossip about that moment.

Rather, I didn't know they kept in touch outside of our dungeon expeditions.

"Do you have some kind of fascination with butts, Kazuma?"

"...Not really."

"Even though you've been groping everyone's butts?"

"Who said I'm groping everyone?! With Darkness, it was because of her stupid quest! And for you, well… What else is there to grope with Megumin?"

"Excuse me? What do you mean by that?"

I felt an intimidating presence behind me.

Remembering that she had more than one of those grenades, I said,

"Because I'm carrying Megumin on my back, I can only really reach your butt… That's what I meant."

"Nice save."

That really was a close one.

"By the way, what are you gonna do now for money now that the Kobolds are gone?"

I asked, knowing that Megumin relied on the spears the Kobolds made to help provide for her family.

"The loot we get from the dungeon helps, so I hope we go to the dungeon as a party a lot from now on."

"Hah… It's gonna end with that, huh?"

"Kazuma acts like it, but you like to spend time with us, don't you?"

"Not really."

"Well, I enjoy spending time with Kazuma."

She giggled when I didn't answer.

Megumin (Explosion Mage), Bond Rank: 5

At Rank 5, Megumin sees you as a pervert with a heart of gold. You're a reliable friend and party member who will always come through for his friends, even if he doesn't act like it. She's developing a crush on you now… But you'll have to prove yourself! Can you become Megumin's hero? Do your best!

Bond Reward: Magic Skill Rank-Up

Part 3

After getting the charisma lessons from Kazuto, learning a bunch of sleazy pick-up lines from him, I headed to my room to use the bond reward I got from Megumin.

I thought that I could level up [Drain Touch] or [Heal] but…

It turned out that they had their separate classification of magic such as Undead magic and Holy magic and didn't qualify for the increase.

Which meant the only skill I could rank up was [Ice Magic Increase].

[Ice Magic Increase] Skill Rank: 2, Passive Skill

Increases the power of Ice Magic by 2.

Considering the only ice magic I knew was [Freeze, I didn't know how this damage increase could help me, since elementary ice magic didn't have much offensive capabilities.

I decided to go down to the garden again to practice my magic and find ways to make use of this.

I set up some cans for a target and tried using [Freeze] on them.

Instead of just freezing the fans, I noticed that some sharp crystals were forming around the cans, puncturing them. This must be the result of the [Ice Magic Increase].

When I tried my usual combo of [Create Water] and [Freeze, I had an idea while studying the shapeless water floating above my hand.

…Would water count as an 'item' that [Smithing] could be applied to?

Seeing as I was just experimenting, I tried using the [Smithing] skill to form the water into the shape of an icicle.

To my surprise, it worked.

"[Freeze]..."

The water solidified into a proper icicle in my hands.

That was when I remembered that the maxed out [Improvised Weapon] also counted newly created items as an improvised weapon…

I threw the icicle at the can.

The can burst into shreds as the icicle tore through it.

Not only that, but the icicle even pierced through the tree behind the can.

"..."

I might be onto something.

This time, I tried to shape the water into an actual weapon.

The [Smithing] skill relied on my creativity, so it created the image of a sword I had in my mind.

Then I froze it, forming an ice blade.

I used it to cut the rest of the cans. It worked like a proper sword.

Still, it did less damage than Chunchunmaru, since Chunchunmaru's base stats were stronger than the buffs I got from [Improvised Weapon] and [Ice Magic Increase].

…There was another method I could try, though.

Rather than recreate a weapon, this time, I created ammunition.

I created an ice arrow.

In practice, the bow would apply damage as usual. Then, the buffs of [Improvised Weapon] and [Ice Magic Increase] would combine with the [Signature Weapon] buff applied to the elven bow.

I aimed at the tree.

"[Snipe]!"

The ice arrow cleanly pierced through the tree.

With all the buffs included, it did a total of 20 damage.

…Could it be that I just discovered something completely ridiculous?

"...Um, Kazuma-san? Why am I getting a notification that you just discovered a new skill? Is this a glitch?"

"Hah? Shouldn't you be the one telling me that? You're the super AI!"

"It seems like it's not a glitch… Congratulations, Kazuma-san! You're the first app-user to create your own skill!"

[Magic Archery] Skill Rank: 1, Passive Skill

You create arrows using magic. These arrows count as magical attacks and will have 1 Armor Penetration against physical armor. Magical Resistance still applies.

Your 'Creativity' has increased by 5 after creating a new skill! Your 'Magic Power' and 'Mana Capacity' have increased by 2!

I just kept getting more boons from this experimental session…

Just to try it out…

"[Tinder]..."

I formed a flame in my hand, then expanded it out into an arrow.

However, since the spell was limited to a bolt, I couldn't form a proper arrow with the power available to the spell.

It only worked on water since it was a more malleable element.

I guess that there were some limits on this new method I found.

Still…

Having my damage output nearly double was a big improvement, to say the least.

…

…

That night, I decided to try out my newly acquired skill from Rorisa. That is the [Bedroom Skill].

At first, Aqua thought that we'd have a normal lovemaking session, but…

"Eh…? Mnnn! Kazuma, something's different…! Ahnn…!"

I held her hips as I expertly ate her out, my tongue sliding in and out of her womanhood.

"Mn? What's the matter, Aqua?"

I acted dumb and looked up at her as I lapped her insides up, feeling like I had a map of her delicate walls in my mind thanks to the skill.

"It's… Mnn! It feels so good…!"

Her hands went to my head, urging me to lean closer.

"Eh? I'm just doing it like normal, though…"

I gently licked her clit, making her gasp and arch her back.

"Oh? Did you cum already?"

I asked, still keeping up my clueless facade while subtly teasing her.

"There's definitely something different! How did you get so good…?! Did you change to the 'Pervert' class, or something?!"

Instead of answering, I came up and flipped her over, thrusting inside her from behind.

"Ahhh! Kazuma…!"

She screamed my name out with lust and passion in her voice as I skillfully thrusted inside her, bouncing against her ass in a controlled rhythm.

Before, I just thrusted as hard as I could without a thought in mind.

Now, with the skill guiding me, I could tell just how fast I should go, just where I should grind against to drive Aqua wild.

I found her weak spot and targeted it.

"This is too much…! Hnnngh!"

That night, I made her cum over and over, before reaching my own climax.

While we were cuddling, Aqua said,

"Kazuma… I know I said I'm fine if you're with other girls but… Isn't this too much?"

She thought that I was sleeping with a bunch of girls behind her back.

In the end, I had to explain to her that I got a skill that improved my performance in the bedroom.

How I acquired the skill remained a secret.

Your 'Charisma' and 'Attractiveness' increased by 1!

Part 4

I didn't go to my part-time job last time since I was busy with the Kobolds, so I went this time and completed my shift without hassle.

You earned 3,000 Yen and 1 'Willpower' and 1 'Bravery'!

After work, I went back to the dungeon again.

That was because those girls were serious about forming a party.

Lots of app-users were going to the dungeon.

Thankfully, most of them were in the deeper floors, using their cheat items to quickly gain levels.

Yunyun was also getting pretty powerful as she spent her time training with Mitsurugi.

"...That Yunyun is getting a big head."

Megumin said, as she took her frustrations out on a poor goblin, smashing its skull with her staff.

Aqua smirked and said,

"Getting jealous that Yunyun is gaining levels and spending time with a handsome boy, huh? Meanwhile we're stuck with Kazuma…"

"Oh, really, Aqua? Is that why you were begging me for more last night?"

"...?! A-Ah, yeah, I was begging for seconds during dinner, right?"

Aqua shot me a warning look as she glanced nervously at the others.

So even Aqua had some shame.

She pulled me aside and said,

"Oi, Kazuma… Do you just wanna show off about your sex life? Is that it?"

"Hm? If you're gonna do the same 'Kazuma is such a loser bit', then maybe you shouldn't cry out in ecstasy when I'm deep inside you every night?"

"Fine, fine! I'll lay off the jokes! Just stop exposing our relationship in front of our friends!"

"To think that Aqua has a modest side…"

"Do you picture me as some kind of immodest skank who flaunts off what I do with my lover every night? Is that it?"

"No comment."

"...You're not getting any tonight."

"I'm just kidding, my beautiful Aqua-sama."

"Hah? Do you think you can flirt your way out of this?!"

While we were arguing, Megumin came in and said,

"Can we get going? I don't want Yunyun to get even more of a lead on me."

"She will always have a lead on you as long as you stick to using only explosion magic."

"Oh? Should I demonstrate why exactly I'm sticking to only explosion magic?"

I decided not to press the issue.

Darkness squirmed around and said,

"Um, can we go to the Roper area again?"

I was about to reject her obvious attempt to get off, but…

Those things were actually worth a fair bit of EXP and were pretty easy to kill once they focused on a target.

"Fine. Darkness, act like the meatbag you are and throw yourself at those tentacle monsters."

"Kuh! Right away, master!"

Aqua and Megumin gave me blank stares over my treatment of Darkness.

"...What? She asked for it. I'm just granting her wish."

"You always say yes to things you shouldn't say yes to, and say no to things that you need to accept."

Aqua said, as she watched Darkness running off to the Ropers.

"Well, I'm getting EXP for this, so I'm not complaining."

Megumin just ended up shrugging.

It didn't take long for Darkness to get caught by the Roper.

"I-It's getting through my armor… Hmm!"

She was already moaning as the tentacles slithered all over her body.

How sensitive was she?

With the ropers occupied with violating her, I decided to try out my new combo.

I formed an arrow made out of ice, notched it in the bow and fired.

The arrow pierced through the Roper's main body. It went limp in a matter of seconds.

"Eh? It's over already?"

Darkness said, as if she was getting off a disappointing amusement park ride.

"Kazuma… What was that?! That was so cool!"

Megumin was looking at me in admiration as I put my bow away.

"It's a new skill I invented…"

The attack got even more powerful with Aqua's buffs.

"That's impressive and all, but how are we gonna get EXP if you're one-shotting everything?"

Aqua said, pointing at the defeated Roper.

From then on, I was forced to form the ice into a spear, meaning it would deal less damage.
Still, it gave me a reach advantage compared to just using Chunchunmaru, meaning I could set up kills for the others while keeping myself safe.

It also made Megumin compliment me again. I guess the idea of weapons created with ice magic was very cool in her eyes.

While I was fighting, I also came up with another use of the technique.

At the moment an armored goblin attacked with a halberd, I formed the water into a shield and froze it.

I blocked the attack and finished off the goblin with the ice spear.

It could even be used defensively.

"Kazuma, you're way too cool right now!"

"You don't feel jealous anymore that Yunyun is with Mitsurugi, huh?"

"...Who's Katsuragi?"

She even forgot his name.

With how we were progressing, we made it through the third floor pretty easily. I had to admit, once we figured out our tactics, our party felt invincible.

…Well, maybe the fact that Aqua actually listened to me now and Megumin had no choice but to stop herself from using explosion magic in the dungeon helped.

Darkness was still a lost cause, but she made for a good diversion. She was also able to get some kills after I completely bound the target, used [Drain Touch] on it to sap away all its stamina, and froze it in place.

And sometimes, she'd somehow still miss.

We reached the third floor boss area, but we didn't want to head in yet. It was a desert area, with the stone halls transitioning to hot sand.

It was probably best to see if these girls could handle the Rookie Killer first before heading to the third floor boss area.

"Ah, Kazuma-sama, welcome back!"

The Tranquility Girl greeted us when we walked by her area.

"I hope you've been behaving?"

"Y-Yes, of course!"

Aside from leaving the other app-users alone, the Tranquility Girl has also been helping me track the movements of the Female Orcs, so I wouldn't encounter them.

"Tranquility Girl, you know the general layout of this floor, right?"

"Yup! What do you want to know?"

She sure became obedient. I guess the threat of death does that to anyone.

"Do you know any hidden treasure rooms around here?"

"Ah, yeah. There's actually one behind me."

"...Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Um, you never asked… Besides, there's no way to open it unless you have a key from a higher floor."

It was one of those pain in the ass backtrack mechanics that were always in dungeon crawling games.

That was when I remembered that I got the scroll with the [Unlock] spell from Vanir.

I guess he did give me a useful prophecy.

Using [Scroll Adept], I used the spell to open the door behind the Tranquility Girl.

"Ohhh…! A secret treasure area! This is a must for dungeon adventures!"

Megumin got excited, but I held her back before she could enter.

First, I used [Trap Detection]. When I felt it was safe, I gestured for the others to come in.

There was a chest in the middle of the room. Normally, I'd be wary of that, but there didn't seem to be any traps.

When we opened it, we saw a full set of plate armor.

[Lore Reading] told me it was adamantine armor, an incredibly powerful type of armor.

"Oho… This is bound to sell for a lot."

"Hold on?! Isn't it natural to give that armor to me?"

Darkness said, as the rest of us were already splitting the armor parts among ourselves.

Megumin raised a brow at her.

"Hah? Why should the ojou-sama get to keep the treasure for herself?"

"Because I'm the frontliner and I'm the only one who can make use of that armor?"

"...Even though I have a family to feed."

"F-Fine, I get it! I'll pay you all, so please don't sell that armor!"

We each got 20,000 Yen from Darkness.

Part 5

The next day, after soccer practice, I headed over to Wiz's store.

I wanted to check up on the demon.

"P-Please don't hurt me?!"

"Hah? Even though you're a demon, you're saying that?"

Only to find Aqua got there first. She was currently tormenting the demon, while Wiz was cowering in fear.

"A-Ah! Kazuma-san, please save us!"

"Begging for help won't save you!"

Which one was the Lich and the demon and which one was the goddess in this scenario?

Aqua seemed way more evil than them.

"Aqua… I thought I told you not to harass Wiz."

"Hm? I'm not harassing Wiz, am I? I'm dealing with this demon instead!"

"He's an employee of her store now, so harassing him counts as harassing her."

"Che… Who do I harass, then?!"

Why did she even need to harass anyone?

Considering that she had a stress-free lifestyle where her food expenses were paid for and she didn't have to pay rent. Not to mention that all her sexual needs were met thanks to me, I didn't really see why she'd have to take out her stress by harassing people.

Unless she was just naturally a rotten goddess.

"Hm, you're here, boy… And so is that mad dog of a goddess you sleep with."

"Ah, it's a good thing the putrid masked devil is here so I can wipe you all out in one place!"

"Oh? Is this the right time to debut my Vanir-Style Beam…?"

I stepped in before those two could go at each other.

"You two are making poor Wiz scared. Look how pale she is."

"...She's always that pale, though."

Vanir ignored Aqua for now and turned to me.

"Boy, I have a business proposal for you."

"Not interested."

"You didn't even listen to my ideas."

"Knowing Vanir, this is some kind of scheme that will make people filled with despair. Then you will cackle like some lunatic as you explain that it was all some plan to absorb 'nutrients' from us foolish humans…"

"...That does sound like something I say, but I assure you that's not the endgame this time."

Aqua smirked and wagged a finger at Vanir.

"No, you should trust your instincts, Kazuma. There's no point in trusting a devil! The only devil you can trust is a devil that admits that it's untrustworthy!"

"So you're saying that all devils can't be trusted… Even though it was my advice that saved your little boyfriend here many times."

"Hah? Kazuma has me! He doesn't need your stupid advice when he has his beautiful goddess lover supporting him!"

"The fact that he's alive in spite of you being a constant deadweight is thanks to me!"

"...Kazuma, are you gonna let him say that to me?!"

Aqua turned to me with watery eyes. So Vanir's taunts were getting to her.

"Hah… Vanir, just tell me your plan already so I can reject it."

"...Don't reject it before you even hear it. I assure you this will be beneficial for all involved, even that goddess lover of yours!"

"Fine, let's hear it."

Vanir took out devices that looked like pagers, except they had the form of his black and white mask.

"Behold! These are the Vanir Mask Pagers! Their function is to alert the user when there is a sighting of the Demon King army in this realm!"

"Oh! That's actually pretty useful!"

"They rely on me sensing the Demon King army with my precognitive powers and sending a signal!"

So they were just ordinary pagers.

"I guess Vanir is planning on selling these to the app users while pretending that they're magic items that can sense the Demon King army?"

"As expected of a scumbag, you're spot on."

He was calling me a scumbag, despite coming up with this scam.

Well, it wasn't really a scam, since these devices served a proper function.

I imagined that Vanir would sell these for way more than the normal amount of a normal pager, though.

"I admit it's a good business idea, if you just want to make a lot of money at once, but how am I involved in this?"

"Well, thanks to a certain decrepit store owner, this store doesn't have a good reputation among app-users. Rather, they actively avoid this store now."

Wiz started tearing up and glanced away, embarrassed.

"E-Even though I have such interesting items!"

The problem was that they were too 'interesting'.

"And so, we need a fellow app-user who can convince others to buy this product… And the hero who beat the dullahan Beldia is sure to get a lot of trust from your peers. Not to mention, you are friends with that other famous app-user who has a lot of connections…"

He was even taking into account Mitsurugi's popularity.

"This is a good plan, Vanir."

Those guys needed this pager for when the Demon King army arrives next week.

And they were rich from all their dungeon crawling, anyway. It wasn't like they lacked the funds.

"Oi, I'm not gonna let you take advantage of my precious app-users! They're working hard to fight the Demon King army and you're planning on scamming them?!"

Aqua surprisingly took exception to the plan instead of being greedy.

"...You oppose this plan even though these pagers will save many lives?"

"Then just give them away for free! It's for a good cause, anyway!"

Vanir laughed at that and rubbed his hand through his hair.

"Nothing in life is free! I am providing a necessary service, and there is no competition in the market! I can charge however I want!"

"Then there's no reason for us to agree, then!"

"By the way, I'm charging 100,000 Yen each for this pager and I will give your lover here a 50% cut…"

"Accept the deal, Kazuma."

Aqua didn't even hesitate this time.

Not like I could judge her.

The deal was too good for me to pass up.

I shook hands with Vanir.

Part 6

"Really?! This pager will alert us when the Demon King army arrives?!"

Mitsurugi said, when I showed him the pager the next day at school.

"Yes, it's a magic item that costs 100,000 Yen…"

"That's pretty cheap for such a useful magic item! Do you accept digital pay?"

This guy didn't even bat an eye before parting with 100,000 Yen.

I was starting to feel bad, but I didn't anymore.

"Ah, make sure to tell your friends as well."

"Sure thing!"

While I gave Mitsurugi his pager, I noticed Rin approaching us.

Mitsurugi made a swift getaway to give us space.

"Morning, senpai! What are you up to?"

I held out the pager for her.

"Rin… Apparently there's a pervert on the loose right now."

"Eh?! Really?!"

"Yeah… Here, take this pager. The police will alert you whenever the pervert has been spotted. You should hide somewhere safe whenever this pager rings…"

"Wow… Thanks for looking out for me, senpai!"

I came up with that lie to keep Rin safe in case the Demon King army showed up.

Your 'Cunning' has increased by 2!

I got a reward for fooling both of them.

There was another soccer game after school. This time, it was a pretty big deal because we qualified for the nationals.

Rather than having the game in the school, we took a bus to Tokyo and went to a proper stadium.

On the bus, the coach was crying again.

"You all made it this far… I'm so proud of all of you…!"

I put on my earbuds since he was too noisy.

When we got to the stadium, I was surprised by how many people there actually were.

"...Do these people not have any lives? It's a work day."

Mitsurugi gave me a look of disbelief.

"Oi… These people came here to watch us play. You should be thinking about how to put on a good show for them."

We went through the opening ceremony, where the captain from each team swore a pledge to sportsmanship.

It was a good thing I wasn't the captain, or any pledge I made would have been broken right away.

We were in the group that would play on the first day. We got matched up against a school famous for its soccer program.

"Hmph… So this is the midfielder I heard so much about, huh?"

When we went to the field to greet the opponents, a guy wearing glasses said this to me.

He didn't seem like a soccer player, more like some otaku.

I held up a hand.

"Sorry, I can't take pictures right now."

"I'm not a fan! I'm your opponent!"

That didn't make me care more. In fact, I care even less now.

"We have been studying footage of you and your striker… You two are app-users, right?"

"...!"

It was bound to happen eventually, but we found other app-users on the opposing team.

"Fufu… So I was right. I knew that a lot of your movements seemed unnatural."

"So what are you gonna do? Tell me not to use skills?"

"No. On the contrary, let's have a match between app-users! My striker is also an app-user… Let's see which one is better!"

"Sure, I guess."

"You don't seem too enthused."

I went back to Mitsurugi after talking to that guy and told him what I learned.

"I see… Other app-users, huh? This will be quite the tough match up…"

"I just hope they don't make it too obvious. If they start summoning fire tornados and stuff on the field, we'd have a lot of trouble…"

"I-I'm sure they won't go that far."

"The guy looks more like an otaku than a jock. He's probably an app-user who's going on a power trip right now. I don't think he'll hold back even if it's just a highschool soccer match."

"So he's like you, huh?"

I thought that Mitsurugi was supposed to be the polite type, but he started insulting me out of nowhere.

After a few more minutes, it was time for kick off.

"[Dash]!"

The glasses guy used a skill similar to [Escape] and made a full-speed blitz as soon as he touched the ball.

He was a Winger, making full use of his speed to quickly travel down the field.

Their Striker, who was the other app-user, was a more traditional-looking soccer player with an athletic build and tall frame. He competed with Mitsurugi for a heading position as he waited for a cross.

"Hehe… You're pretty strong. I'm guessing you're some kind of frontliner class?"

Mitsurugi nodded as he struggled to push the guy away.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"I'm guessing it's not a proper tank class, because you can't even budge me. [Fortitude]!"

The guy became even more impossible for Mitsurugi to move.

Then, the cross came from the glasses guy.

I came in between the pass trajectory and jumped.

"Haha! Don't even try, there's no way you can reach this…"

"[Steal], [Wind Breath]."

I used [Steal] to snatch the ball from midair, but to avoid having it land in my hands, I used [Wind Breath] to push it down to my feet.

"...Eh?"

I was already running before they could react.

Mitsurugi reacted to my play and ran along with me.

"D-Don't think you can outrun me! [Dash]!"

I stopped in place and watched the glasses guy run past me.

Since it was a skill that gave him superhuman speed, I expected that it was hard for him to immediately stop.

"I won't let you pass! [Fortitude]!"

"Ow…"

"Eh?"

I bounced off the jock who hardened his body.

Since the referees had no clue about the skill, they assumed that he committed a foul.

"...That's not fair?!"

It was clear from the way they played that they weren't actually good at soccer.

At least I practiced and learned the rules.

These guys were just completely relying on their skills.

We used the free kick to get a header for Mitsurugi.

From there, we proceeded to rack up the goals against the inexperienced app-users.

Our first victory of the tournament was an easy one.

Part 7

The tournament would actually make us skip classes as we had to stay near the stadium, in a hotel.

The hotel was full of other players.

"...There are a lot of app abusers here, huh?"

That was what we learned by asking around.

"Unbelievable… To think everyone here is like Satou."

Mitsurugi sighed as he ate a piece of his tempura.

We were having dinner with the team in a big dining hall, along with other schools.

"So they're smart like me."

"Is that how you're framing it? The integrity of this whole tournament is ruined!"

"I think you're the only one who cares."

We took a bath afterwards then went to our room. The other guys were rowdy for a while playing games, but they were tired from the game and soon fell asleep.

I was about to fall asleep as well, but…

I heard the window opening.

Keeping my eyes partly open, I watched a figure sneaking in.

It was a silver-haired female figure wearing a skintight outfit.

…How erotic.

I'd usually be deep inside Aqua by now, so I was a bit horny.

It's tough to go without any action once you get used to it.

Boy, would my old self hate my new self.

And so, I watched this female thief with deep interest.

"Let's see… Mitsurugi-kun… His phone should be here…"

She was targeting Mitsurugi, huh?

And from the looks of it, she knew he was an app user.

Without making a sound to alert the others…

"[Bind]..."

"Hmph…?!"

I tied the thief's body with a rope, also tying her mouth with it.

Then, I quickly picked up the thief like a sack of potatoes and dragged her to a closet.

"Hmm… Mnn…! Mnnph!"

"Quiet, you thief! I gotta make sure you don't have any weapons…"

She's got quite a nice ass, I observed.

There's nothing wrong with this, of course.

I'm just apprehending an evil thief trying to attack my teammate.

My body searched continued up the thief's chest.

"...You're kinda small, but it feels nice to grope, still."

"Hmmphh!"

She started squirming around more, managing to bump away from me and turn around.

"..." x 2.

We both stared at each other.

Looking at her face, it was obvious that I knew this person.

"...Who is this mysterious thief?"

I said, while resuming to fondle her boobs.

"...Hmph."

She glared at me, unimpressed and unconvinced by my act.

I sighed, dropping the act and releasing her from the rope.

"I-I've been defiled…"

There were tears in her eyes as she held herself.

"It comes with the territory of being a female thief… Rather, you knew I was here and snuck in to have that kind of play with me, is that it?"

"You must be mistaking me for Darkness! No, I didn't come here for that!"

"Then what? You were going after Mitsurugi… Don't tell me he's your type."

"Wrong again! I'm after his cheat item!"

"Ah, right."

There was something like that.

Chris and Darkness were tasked by Eris-sama to retrieve the dangerous cheat items that Aqua irresponsibly gave out to app-users.

"It's in his inventory, though. How were you gonna steal it?"

"With the maxed out [Steal] skill, you can even steal from someone's inventory."

Wait, wasn't that kinda OP?

"I need to have direct contact with the phone, though."

There were some limits, at least.

"...I get that Eris-sama gave you that mission, and I do owe her a lot, but don't you think Mitsurugi is a responsible guy? I'm sure he won't misuse the cheat item."

"Well… From what I've seen of him, I suppose that's true… I only targeted him because you guys are on the lowest floor."

So it was only a matter of convenience.

"There's a bunch of other app-users in this hotel. Maybe you should target them first. We can talk about Mitsurugi later."

"Yeah, that's why I decided to raid this hotel."

A bunch of app-users in one place, this must be a paradise for the cheat-item hunting Chris.

"Next time, please help me, Kazuma-kun!"

"Huh? Why would I do that?"

"...I'll tell the girls what you did to me."

"I look forward to working with you."

They already had a pretty nasty view of me. I didn't want to make it worse.

"A-And next time I sneak into the room, don't start molesting me! You'll know it's me next time, right?!"

"...What if it's an enemy next time?"

"I'm telling you it won't be! And why would you molest an enemy, anyway?!"

"I told you, it's the fate of female thieves…"

"You keep repeating that as if it means anything!"

It meant a lot.

To me, at least.