Chapter summary:
C-c-c-c'mon, Jeremy, can't you see, we've got a date, so concentrate! We'll start with us, just me and you, some deja vu, and then ensue: your microchip plus our friendship-
Jeremy's mind was blissfully numb. Not an apocalyptic mind-wipe kind of numb. The normal kind where their eyes were unfocused, their head felt heavy, and they had Michael to lean against while not thinking about anything in particular. No code. No math. No nothing.
Sure, they could come up with something to worry about as soon as they had the inclination. But for now… eh. They rubbed unconscious circles into the denim over Michael's knee.
They were a perfect captive audience, actually, if Michael wanted to burn off some nervous energy by explaining a documentary or an obscure Marley story for twenty minutes or so. Sadly, Michael didn't seem to read their mind. He only matched Jeremy's cozy silence.
"Things are so quiet now," Jeremy murmured, eventually compelled to comment. Michael, Christine, and even more hazy half-memories like Jeremy's father and the bustle of classmates in the hall - they all seemed to have their volume turned down. Jeremy thought for sure that sounds used to be louder, colors used to be a little brighter before - enough to overwhelm them to the point of blocking stimuli out just to process. That concept felt far away. Maybe they needed to get rid of that Instagram-style filter on their eyes after all.
"You needed to focus," Michael answered, not moving his knee under Jeremy's touch. "So it's fine, right?"
"Yeah." Jeremy's eyes slid around the 7-11 parking lot. It wasn't winter yet, but there was frost from when the morning dew had given up on life. Jeremy hardly minded. "Hey, aren't you cold?"
"No," Michael answered quickly, then laughed. "Maybe I'm getting acclimated to your temperature, Mr. Cold-Hands." Something about that nagged at Jeremy. Hadn't they told Michael about their gender update? Maybe not. Maybe Michael forgot. Although Michael winced afterward, avoiding eye contact briefly, so it must have been a normal slip of the tongue.
"Huh." Jeremy stretched, popping their back. Sometimes their body still complained about their healthy posture regimen. "Now that I'm thinking about it, frozen drinks enjoyed outside in like, 4 point 4 repeating degrees Celsius? That's probably not optimal for human's processing like it is for mine. We should head back inside somewhere."
"Jeremy, if you're gonna use Celcius, don't just, like, Google the local forecast in Fahrenheit and convert it in your head to sound smart."
Weirdly, that was exactly what Jeremy had done. How did Michael know? "It's not to sound smart," they protested. Like a cat, after stretching, they were ready to snuggle back up again despite the cold. "It's more accurate!"
"Not if you do it like that, you dork." Michael poked their cheek. "You're gonna get so many rounding errors." He started to stand up.
Jeremy very reluctantly followed. "Since when do you know math?"
"Unlike someone, I used to study for my SATs," Michael said after a pause. "Anyway, come on. Get out of sleep mode. Or whatever," he added somewhat awkwardly.
"Hot cocoa?" Jeremy said hopefully. Their coding project was done and was out in the wild via Rich. They wanted to hibernate the mental exhaustion away. Barring that, spending their weekends napping with their face pressed up against Michael's shirt was a fine alternative.
"Nooo. Come on, Jeremy. You finished, like, the biggest project ever. Don't you think that's worth -" He waved his hand, trying to create some pep. "Energy! Celebrating! Let's do something today."
Admittedly, Jeremy perked up. It felt like forever since Michael had wanted to hang out without discussing the coding project - not since their last mall trip, anyway. "Like what?" A memory tickled their hippocampus. "You wanna finally figure out what weed does to my system?" Jeremy was fairly confident that marijuana, unlike alcohol, was safe. The SQUIP was able to block the cannabinoid-
"Let's go out," Michael protested. "I mean it, Jeremy. I've got some plans."
"You. Michael Mell. On a weekend. Have plans that don't involve getting stoned in your basement."
"Yeah, sure, I've turned over a new leaf. Shut up." Michael rolled his eyes, finally fully getting up and forcing Jeremy to follow. "You've given me enough time alone to think about it."
That wasn't fair. "Michael, I told you, I wanted to see you if it was about anything other than my coding-"
"No no no, shut up," Michael said, waving a hand that threatened to cover Jeremy's lips. "Let's not talk about that. It's over and you did it and we won, so stop thinking about it." At Jeremy's doubtful expression, he added, "Look, close your eyes and don't touch your prediction algorithms. I've got something awesome to show you. It's a surprise."
Jeremy frowned, not convinced. Something was up with Michael today. Maybe all week.
Michael added, "It's gonna be incredible," and gave Jeremy the most sly little grin that Jeremy's heart did a backflip from their chest right into their guts and back up again.
Oh.
Maybe that's what was up?
They cleared their throat, gesturing to the parking lot around them. "It's gonna be hard to beat this view." It sounded lame to their ears.
Michael shushed them and took them by the hand. "Trust me. Get ready, 'cause it's gonna be perfect."
"So… tell me I was right."
Jeremy sighed. "Okay. Okay. When you're right, you're right. You don't need to rub it in."
Michael made a self-satisfied hum, his smirk warming the skin of Jeremy's neck. They were sharing a bench in front of a beach shore. The water was deep and dark and turbulent and gray with the heavy scent of an oncoming storm. Jeremy didn't remember having heard when the seagulls cried, if there were any around here at all.
"You only have the memories from when Jeremy 1.0 and his SQUIP were both present, right?" Michael said. "I don't think they did a lot of sightseeing together."
"No," Jeremy said. "They didn't." They watched the waves crash against the shore, dragging shells up and down in a sluggish rhythm. A riptide was forming in between the peaks. "I haven't… I haven't been around for too long, have I, Michael?"
Michael shook his head, more of a gentle motion than an actual expression. "You're new. Weird. Beautiful." He kissed Jeremy's neck, but Jeremy didn't turn their head to return the favor. They stared out at the horizon.
"The world's pretty big," Jeremy said softly. "Isn't it?"
"Huge. Vast. More people and things than a single human could ever experience."
A lot of people to network with. A lot of people to fail. Jeremy rocked their body up so they could cross their arms on their knees. "Bigger than a SQUIP could, too," they said.
Michael made an odd noise. He leaned forward. "Are you brooding?"
Jeremy wanted to linger on that thought - the vastness of human experience, the strangeness of the mind, the bizarre and utterly human ways of processing the world that were so infinite as to elude any attempt at categorization, godlike or no - but a playful shove from Michael made them give into the teasing. "No!" they said defensively. "I'm just… thinking."
"Today isn't about thinking," Michael said. He stood up and pulled Jeremy into a kiss. It was probably supposed to be a quick gesture, but it turned into something warm and thick and slow. Like the tides. Like an oncoming storm.
Jeremy wasn't sure where this feeling of foreboding came from and they frankly didn't want to know. They wanted to ignore it. They turned their head to break the kiss and stare back into that horizon that they'd never crossed before, a reminder of a world that existed outside of the couple of miles between Michael and Jeremy's homes, the mall, and the school. A world Jeremy, this Jeremy, had never touched and possibly never would.
"We're having fun," Michael reminded them sternly. "Anyway, today is more of a crawl than a destination." His tone lightened. "Try and guess the next date. Win and you get a prize."
"What do I get?" Jeremy said, finally ripping their eyes away from the ocean to get lost in Michael's eyes instead.
Michael's eyes crinkled in the corners. "You know what."
"...You?"
Michael laughed.
Being inside now, blacklight highlighting the brights of their clothes, Jeremy could feel Michael warming up in their arms. Michael may have chosen the venue, but Jeremy was better at this. Whoever said couples skating wasn't a competition clearly had no idea how to roller skate.
…Granted, Jeremy didn't know they knew how to roller skate an hour ago either. Their body was all gangly limbs and skinny torso and poorly-trained muscles, so it was an unexpected delight to witness themselves gliding around effortlessly. And - just as importantly and hilariously - better than Michael, who seemed happy to keep up a steady pace beside them. Jeremy grinned, kicking a complicated step that flowed through their limbs and onto the roller rink smoothly. They laughed in delight. "Did Jeremy 1.0 know how to skate?" they asked Michael - unnecessarily, they knew, but they wanted to hear it anyway.
"Of course he did," Michael said, watching Jeremy with a sly smile. "Why else would we have a membership?"
"But I'm so much better than you," Jeremy insisted, skating backwards without even a byte of worry. "You think SQUIPs help with your balance, too? Because that's not in the user handbook."
Michael made a noncommittal noise, sliding beside Jeremy. He hip-checked them, and without Jeremy's conscious input, they both high-fived up, then down, and spun in a tight circle in a corner of the rink until their skates clunked together and they separated. It was their handshake, Jeremy recognized. And Michael had just done it in perfect harmony with Jeremy.
"You-" Jeremy gaped. Michael grabbed them by the hands and spun them in another circle, balanced and graceful and at least as light on his feet as Jeremy felt. Jeremy felt downright bamboozled.
"Me?" Michael said teasingly, hands behind his back as he skated backwards away from Jeremy.
"You are so gonna regret-" The lights dimmed and the current song faded out. An announcement started up. Jeremy straightened, still rolling toward Michael as they pointed a finger. "Michael Mell. You cheat. I challenge you to a game to the death!" they proclaimed a little too loudly to be socially acceptable.
Michael couldn't stifle a giggle. "A game to the death of-!"
Jeremy puffed out their chest, a little swagger in their skate. "That's right." As the announcer said it, Jeremy did too, along with half the rink and Michael, who was so distracted he plowed into and nearly fell over the low concrete wall. "The Hokey Pokey!"
"My ass is sore," Jeremy complained as they climbed out of the car. "Can't we go home yet?"
"Shoulda given up before the Chicken Dance," Michael said gravely. He unplugged the charger from the cigarette lighter adapter. Jeremy lifted their hand from the wireless charging pad.
"That Chicken Dance was rigged," they muttered.
"Oh, do an emotional reset and get over it," Michael said flippantly. "We're at Date Spot Number 3."
"Great," Jeremy said weakly. "They're numbered."
"You're all charged up, aren't you? You need it for this."
Jeremy gave him an odd look. "I don't think even a SQUIP can predict whatever you'd need me charged for."
Michael motioned for Jeremy to spin around, which they did with a sigh. But they did have more energy, like it or not. And… dammit, the giant yellow sign caught their attention. "Michael? Is Date Number 3 the one where we get banned from a Best Buy?"
"I dunno. Check the future for us, Geek Squad Commander." Michael pushed them forward, but Jeremy didn't need the encouragement. They weren't sure they had felt this many devices in the air ever before. Computers, tablets, gaming consoles, smart thermostats, boomboxes, robot vacuum cleaners…
"Honey, whatcha waiting for," Michael sang quietly. Jeremy thought he didn't even like musicals. "Step into my candy store…"
"Shush. I'm trying to make contact," Jeremy said, led forward into the fluorescent light as if on a leash. "Tech. Oh glorious tech. We welcome your healing presence in our midst."
"You wanna pray to the automatic doors on our way in, too? See if they bestow their generous opening powers unto their humble worshipers?"
"Michael," Jeremy said with a tsk. "Be nice. I'm socializing."
But as they wandered the displays, Jeremy mentally reaching out and changing desktop backgrounds and default settings for the sheer sense of power it gave them, a different kind of tune began to fill the air. It wasn't Marley, but from the volume or from the abrupt change in tracks, Jeremy had the oddly distinct impression that it was for them.
That sense was astronomically heightened when the lights in the store went out and a spotlight fell on Michael. Oh. Geez. The tune wasn't one of Michael's usual picks. If anything, this sounded like a Jake Dillinger chart-topper.
"You don't have to be beautiful-" Michael wasn't singing. It was the speakers. But at some point he had apparently decided to learn how to flawlessly lip-sync. What?
"To turn me on-"
What?
"I just need your body, baby-" Michael was hopping down from a platform and the light followed him. What the hell.
The excited feeling from before, the "to hell with what the world thinks because I'm with Michael and no one else matters" conviction, sucked itself right out of Jeremy's body and left them alone in a suddenly shared spotlight for a song they hadn't rehearsed.
This hadn't been what they did to Michael. Right? No. It hadn't. The Marley music experiment had been in a tiny store, Jeremy hadn't forced him, and Michael had liked it. This place was huge and populated and anything but anonymous.
"From dusk 'til dawn!" Maybe it was the artificial buzzing high of the wireless charger, but Jeremy was starting to feel the full implications of becoming an impromptu musical character and they were weighing the pros and cons of nervous-vomiting. Because it wasn't their imagination that had eyes plastered on them. There were spectators here, many of them clapping in perfect beat with the music and beginning to dance, and it was very weird and very real.
Michael had planned this. For how long? And why? Jeremy didn't know any of these people!
Michael was still "singing." "You just leave it all up to me! I'm gonna show you what it's all about."
Jeremy wasn't sure they even had the license for this song.
They had that baseline urge of wanting to please Michael and wanting to look good in front of strangers, but they were suddenly hyperaware of the bright lights and the loud noises and the fact that they were all in immediate, terrible, world-ending danger.
Oh! Right! System overload! This was that overwhelming sensory data they'd forgotten. Jeremy remembered just this second that they hated it.
Michael was gesturing at them now to hop on up a table and sing along, but Jeremy's wide-eyed terror changed his mind. To Jeremy's dismay, instead of at least continuing the act without Jeremy, the music immediately cut off. The lights went on. Before the chorus even began, the strangers in Best Buy dispersed like they had been dismissed.
Michael didn't seem bothered except the mild expression of concern. "What gives, Jere? Did - Did I start too soon? Do you want to start over? Oh geez, is it the song? I mean, I had been saying it's too cheesy-"
Jeremy shook their head and backed away. Michael hesitated. "...Jeremy?"
It was just him. Just Michael.
A flash mob. That was all it was. That was a weird moment, a bizarre and scary moment, but it was over and Jeremy could live the rest of their life never thinking about being abruptly summoned for a musical number if they could only get both of them out of this freaky store. "I don't like Date Number 3," Jeremy said, their eye only somewhat twitching.
Michael stared. The store was dead silent.
Then he laughed, glancing away. "Yeah, I… get that impression."
Jeremy didn't even have the wherewithal to feel guilty. "Is there another date or can I go home and just…" Maybe this was too much Michael all at once. Jeremy didn't think such a thing existed, but there was too much something in this situation.
Michael's eyes flickered to Jeremy and back around the store. "Yeah," he said, defeated. "One more after this. Did you want. Um. We - I got a, um, something for you for the end of the song."
Jeremy's superpower was ignoring guilt when it was inconvenient. "Can you give it to me in the car? And then go home after the next one?" At Michael's expression, they tried to explain. "SQUIPs… SQUIPs can predict based on quantum mechanics and they - so, alternate universes - like with Eminem -" They weren't sure what they were saying now. "I think we just accidentally crossed dimensions," they tried again weakly. "Into a nonconsensual musical timeline."
Michael was nonplussed. "You love musicals," he said. "And performing. And dating me."
"I do!" Jeremy wasn't sure why they were arguing. They smiled weakly. "I - okay. How about this. I loved it, and I love you, and I love you for doing it, but also let's leave the store before it eats us."
"Eats us?"
The Best Buy was a giant gaping maw of electronics that whirred silently, no longer enchanting, but menacing. Jeremy nodded.
Michael looked like he wanted to say something else, but nodded. "One more date. Last one. And I promise you're gonna like it."
Jeremy tried to smile at Michael. Usually they hid their relationship, but after this display, they felt comfortable slotting their sweaty hand into Michael's. No one stared. "Don't be sad," they sang under their breath, an olive branch. "'Cause two out of three ain't bad?"
At least they were pretty sure Michael smiled back.
This last date was quiet. Lovely and dark and silent with zero strangers. Jeremy approved.
"I figured you'd want to wrap up here," Michael admitted.
Jeremy murmured agreement, sinking backwards into the giant teddy bear Michael had given them as they exited Best Buy. Jeremy would have died of embarrassment if that had happened under a spotlight. "I think I liked the dates when we were alone," they said, unsure.
"I'll remember that."
The silence became a little more comfortable.
"How'd you get in here, anyway?" Jeremy said, glancing up at the dusty shelf of new releases.
"Urban exploration blog. They don't even bother to lock this place up anymore. It's not like there's anything worth stealing."
"Except vintage video cassettes," Jeremy said, eyeing him.
"Yeah," Michael said. "Except those."
The silence stretched. "So…" Jeremy said, turning their face back to Michael. "What did you want to do alone in h-"
Oh! They were kissing now. It was nice.
After a minute, Jeremy started to pull away to say something, but Michael kissed them again and again until they stopped trying. They clenched their nails into the well-worn carpeting of the abandoned Blockbuster, feeling a flicker of an ancient neon light at their back.
Some whisper-light touches brushed against Jeremy's side, their cheeks, their hair, their hips. That same hot feeling from before began to bubble up in their gut. And now Jeremy was kissing Michael with a feeling of excitement and triumph, twisting their bodies so that Michael was underneath them. Their arms propped them up on the floor above Michael's shoulders, practically caging him in. Jeremy surged to meet Michael's lips and the kiss became really nice.
Michael was the one to break it, panting and grinning. "Okay. Okay okay. Jeremy. If - we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this," he said as if convincing himself.
Jeremy didn't want to talk. If they just kept kissing, that would be fine. They finally felt good instead of just okay, and they realized how shitty these last few weeks without Michael had really been.
Jeremy lowered their head to kiss him again, but Michael propped himself up, still underneath Jeremy. Their mouths were only inches apart. "No. Not yet." Michael inhaled and Jeremy waited. "Jeremy. I love you. You know that?"
Jeremy nodded eagerly.
"I only wanna do what's best for you. You trust me?"
They nodded again. "Michael-"
"So you've gotta do this one thing for me first, okay? And then I'm all yours."
"All… mine?" Jeremy's face got hot. The heat in their gut was boiling away like a steam engine.
Michael nodded. "All yours. Forever. Okay?"
That seemed a bit long-term and abstract for Jeremy, who just wanted Michael right now. "Okay. Okay! Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Jeremy waited, but Michael said nothing, so they lowered themself a little and-
Friend request from Michael Mell.