This world had a Demon King named Kazuma Satou. He was the hero who slew the previous Demon King, but instead of bringing peace to the land, he launched it into a civil war and overthrew the capital.
That was the story I had been told.
And the cause of said civil war? A princess had been―or, should I say, had kidnapped the hero because she was in love with him. I don't really know the details, but maybe that made sense. I'm not so sure now that I think about it, but whatever. It's a given that girls will do strange things for the sake of romance.
"Your―dear elder brother?" I repeated.
"Yes!" Alice tilted her head and smiled. "I―suppose I should be more specific. We are not blood-related. Elder Brother is simply my kind and dashing Elder Brother."
This girl who I was just looking up to so much a moment ago was now giving me the crazy eyes.
All my hopes and dreams of the past couple minutes were quietly shattering to bits.
I stood up from my cabbage dish and placed my hand on Chris' shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Without waiting for an answer, I gently but firmly took her wrist and steered her and her surprised countenance a short distance away.
"Hey, Satou-kun, what's this about all of a sudden?"
I kept my voice low as a whisper. "Talk."
"Eh? Um, I am not sure I understand, talk about what?"
"The princess who was in love with the hero who turned into the Demon King. Is that who she is?" I pointed with my chin at Alice.
Chris scratched her blemished cheek with a sheepish grin. "Heh, you figured that one out pretty quick. All right, yeah, she is the former princess of Belzerg, Iris Stylish-Sword."
I knew it. Alice, no, Iris, already has her eyes set on another man―my alter ego of sorts, who has the same name as me but couldn't be more different!
What a sick joke fate has played on me.
Chris must have noticed the dark look that had crossed my face. "Satou-kun, are you okay?"
"I―hereby vow to never fall for a girl so quickly ever again."
"Eh? Are you―is this some kind of weird confession? Gee, I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I have to turn you down. You and Komekko already look so close, and I wouldn't want to get in the way of that…"
"No! It's not like that! And Komekko and I aren't―! Ugh, nevermind!"
I turned on my heel and retreated to my seat, trying not to think about the fact that I just got rejected twice in as many days. And I wasn't even trying to confess on the second one.
"So, Satou, when will our party be going on our first adventure?" Alice asked the moment I returned.
I didn't want to think about it. All prospects for any romantic developments with an attractive female party member had just flown out the window.
"I wanna go on a quest that will earn us lots of money," Aqua quickly proffered, "so I can afford to buy myself some expensive bubbly and get hammered!"
"In that case, I want to go hunt lots of tasty monsters so we can bring back lots of meat for the guild to cook us!" Komekko immediately followed.
"No, we should find strong monsters to dispatch so that Elder Brother will notice us! And then he'll have no choice but to leave the safety of the Demon King's castle to investigate, and once he sees how much I have grown, he'll finally recognize my charms as a woman, and then we will at last―"
Alice stopped when she noticed the stares everyone else at the table was giving her. Her face had been the epitome of a maiden in love as she spoke, without her realizing it.
"Sorry, did I say something strange just now?"
Knowing I didn't have a chance with her couldn't stop me from thinking how cute she looked. Even so, my instincts have finally caught up to my wildly pounding heart. And right now, they're telling me I have yet another problem child on my hands.
I wish there was something I could do to deter them, but we have already agreed to form a party. The die has been cast.
"How about that, Satou? Three out of the four of us have advanced classes!" Aqua smugly said. "We are turning into quite the party! Let's find a good quest to take first thing in the morning!"
"That's what you said yesterday. And need I remind you, you didn't show up until this afternoon."
"―That was just because my bed in heaven was so comfy I forgot! But I'll be sure to set my alarm this time!"
Meanwhile I have to sleep in the stables.
I heaved a heavy sigh. "Alright. We'll take our first quest as an official party tomorrow morning. Does that sound good to everyone?"
"Yeah!" x3
So these will be my companions through many journeys and trials going forward. Going on adventures, seeing the world, raising our levels, and ultimately confronting the Demon King himself… If you had told me yesterday I would be partying up with three pretty girls on a quest to save the world, I would have called the police. Sounds like a deal too good to be true, but now that I'm here, it's nothing like the typical isekai adventure that normally comes to mind.
A goddess-archpriest combo with sky-high stats in everything but intelligence.
A powerful mage who has to keep constantly fed or else her magic will dry up.
A princess warrior who is stronger than any of the Demon King's generals but has a crush on the dark lord himself.
And then there's me, who just turned level four yesterday.
Actually, do I fit in with this party at all?
I certainly don't see much chance of getting closer with any of them, not in the way I was hoping, at least.
"I better start raising my level up if I ever hope to take on the Demon King," I muttered.
"Fufufu! You plan to take on the Demon King? Well get in line, Satou, because I will take out the Demon King first to avenge him dumping big sis!" Komekko said.
"Actually, would you mind if you let me talk to him first? There is still good in him. Even though he is the Demon King now, Elder Brother will surely see the error of his ways once I get through to him!" Alice followed up.
Sounds like everyone is getting fired up.
I felt a slight tug on my sleeve. "Hey, Satou," Aqua murmured, "now that I think about it, the Demon King is actually really dangerous, right? I'm not so sure I wanna go through with this anymore."
"I thought taking him out was your idea in the first place? You're getting cold feet now?"
"I mean, would it be so bad if we just waited for him to die of natural causes? Knowing him, Kazuma will probably step on a rake on accident and die from the handle whacking him."
Is the Demon King a world-ending threat or a pushover? Pick one!
"Shouldn't you want to face him more than anyone here? Chris told me that he was the cause of your old party disbanding! You told me yourself he kidnapped you from heaven! Aren't you still angry at him for what he did?"
"Oh, Kazuma and I, we had our fights, but I'm not angry at him anymore. No, actually, I am still a little mad that he killed Emperor Zell when he and Princess Iris were on the run from the royal knights during their honeymoon game, but I got him back really good for that, so I think that makes us even."
Honeymoon game? Did this have something to do with the time the princess supposedly kidnapped the hero?
Eight years ago
Shortly after the death of the Demon King
It had been a couple days since Kazuma had kidnapped Princess Iris. The whole kingdom was in an uproar searching for them. This manhunt was even bigger than the one that failed to capture the silver-haired thieving band.
That dumbass loli-NEET. If he had just been a little patient, he would have been married to her in a few more days. If he was just after her body, he didn't have to go through all the trouble of kidnapping her.
That's Kazuma for you. A pervert lolicon who can't control the sword in his pants now that Chunchunmaru is lost at the bottom of a collapsed dungeon somewhere. For someone who thinks he's so smart, he sure is dumb.
If he were really smart like me, he would have stayed here in the castle, sleeping in and eating all this delicious food and drinking all the fine wine day in and day out.
Megumin and Darkness are also too high-strung. Talking about things like going and looking for them, and believing that Kazuma wouldn't go that far with Princess Iris. Darkness herself said that she and Kazuma had never crossed that line despite the number of chances they had. She seems to think he is too weak-willed or whatever to actually go through with it. Doesn't she realize it was only because I keep such a close eye over everything that goes on in the mansion, that I am the reason why Kazuma doesn't actually cross the line?
I have known Kazuma the longest so I know him the best. And if I know one thing, it's that the moment he's out of my sight, he goes and takes the first chance he gets to do something perverted. And Iris is unfortunately the perfect victim, due to her brother-complex for him.
It's obvious to me what he has done, but Megumin and Darkness won't accept it. Megumin in particular says she has a really good reason to believe in Kazuma. Beh. She's the type of woman who will forgive her man too easily no matter how many times he cheats on her. Her woman's intuition isn't reliable.
So while everyone else is out looking for Kazuma and Iris, I've been enjoying the castle and all its amenities by myself.
Until the night when the prince came to my room.
"Lady Aqua, I have something to tell you."
It was in the evening, and I was enjoying a nice glass of some exceptional red Romanee-Continue, when a knock at my door interrupted the peace.
The room tilted a little as I got up and lumbered to the door. "What is it? Did you finally find Kazuma?"
I opened the door, and Iris' older brother, Prince Jatice, was standing there, looking somber.
"I'm sorry, Lady Aqua, but we were too late. I am told by my men this was your pet―d-dragon. Ahem. Anyway, Kazuma appeared in his mansion in Axel, like we anticipated. The guards I had stationed there fought bravely, but, well…"
He held out a white ball of fluff in his arms.
My heart shattered as I took Emperor Zell's lifeless form into my hands and dropped to my knees.
"Resurrection," I cried, as my tears dropped onto Zell's pure, white plumage.
But there was no response. My precious child, my growing baby dragon, had already chosen to be reincarnated elsewhere. His soul could not be returned to this vessel henceforth.
I cried. I wailed and wailed and wailed until dawn.
The prince just patted my shoulder a few times before leaving me alone with Emperor Zell.
Hehe, the archpriest really is as dumb as my intel claimed. In her grief, she never once looked up at my face. I honestly almost lost my composure when she actually called it a dragon! And when she tried resurrecting it? Hah! As if even the world's strongest archpriest could resurrect a chicken! Who does she think she is, a goddess on par with Eris? Luckily though, she has no idea she will be my pawn to get rid of the so-called "hero."