Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm slowly adjusting to my life in this world. Everything here is great, and I have a party now. They are all girls around my age, so we get along well. But not too well, you hear? We're just comrades and adventuring companions, so don't get any funny ideas!

How are things back home? Is Su-chan still top of her class? Tell her for me that her big brother is becoming stronger and will soon bring peace to this land. Just yesterday, we had to protect the town from a swarm of monsters, and I unlocked my latent abilities. My growth here even surprises me. But it wouldn't be possible without my friends in my party who support me…

Yeah, right.

I think I would die of embarrassment if I had to tell my parents what my party is really like.

"Good morning, Satou! Are you ready to go on a quest today? I am so excited! Here, I already went ahead and picked something, what do you think of this one?"

Said Alice the moment I walked into the guild this morning, before handing me a paper from the bulletin board where all the quests are posted.

'Giants have recently been attacking the farmers of nearby villages and destroying their crops. Please either kill or drive away the giants. High leveled parties are requested.'

"Denied!" I said, thrusting the slip back into her hands. "I'm only level four! Pick something a little easier!"

After sending away Alice to go find a different quest, I located Komekko at one of the tables. Strangely, despite having no money, she was eating off a plate of food. Across from her was a tall, muscular adventurer who wore a bandana and carried a mace, however he had his face in his hands as if he were crying.

Sighing, I made my way over.

"I am very sorry for this girl's actions," I said, quickly bowing. "Komekko, give this man back his food. You shouldn't steal things that aren't yours."

I reached for the plate, when she slammed her hand down.

"What sort of person am I to you for that to be the first thing you think of?" she exclaimed. "I did no such thing! He treated me to a meal after I earned it properly!" She made a crude gesture with her hand.

I grimaced, and covered my face with my palm. "Sigh. Chris lectured you about this just yesterday, and all it took was one day for you to sell your body for food? Komekko, I'm disappointed."

"Wh-what are you imagining? All I did was beat him at arm wrestling!" She made the same gesture again, and I could suddenly see how it could be taken either way.

"Huh?"

I looked at the man, who wiped his cheeks with his sleeve.

"It's true," he sniveled. "She challenged me to an arm wrestling match. Whoever lost had to pay for the other's breakfast. That was what we agreed."

Komekko stuck her nose up in the air, vindicated. "See? Nom!"

Narrowing my eyes, I bent over to whisper in the man's ear so Komekko wouldn't hear. "Hey man, I appreciate you letting her win since she's still a kid, and everything, but believe me when I say she already gets pampered enough as it is."

"I didn't! I didn't let her win, she crushed me! Almost broke my arm, too!" He was holding his wrist gingerly as he held back the tears.

"C'mon, Daine, let's go find a priest to heal you," his companion said, and they got up to leave.

I blinked in disbelief. Was he serious? Where did Komekko get all that strength?

Well, at least she should be fully fueled and have plenty of mana today, so maybe I should just be grateful.

"What would you have done if you lost and had to pay for his meal?" I curiously asked. "You don't have any money either."

"Bring Satou with me to wash dishes for the guild, and settle the debt."

This girl! I want my gratitude back!

As I watched the loli eat, Alice returned with another quest. "Satou, here! What about this one?"

I glanced down to read. "A large, dark-skinned demon with wings has been sighted deep in the forest outside of town. It appears to be very high leveled. Although no attacks or incidents have been reported yet, we ask that this demon's whereabouts and behaviors be scouted so that its threat level can be more thoroughly assessed by the guild."

I rubbed my chin. This sounded even more dangerous than the last one. But before I could say anything―

"I would prefer we find a different quest," Komekko said. "That one is not to my liking."

"You too, Komekko?" Alice's face fell. "But if this demon were to attack, people passing through the forest could get hurt! As adventurers, it is our duty to make sure the forest is safe to travel through!"

Komekko put her fork down. "I do not believe this particular demon is dangerous. If he wanted to hurt anybody, he already would have, right? I say we just leave him be." She picked up her fork again and took a bite. "Besides, I prefer kill quests. They let me find tasty new monsters to try."

Alice hung her head. "Very well. I shall look for another quest." She took the leaf from me and walked back to the bulletin board.

I stood there, rubbing my chin some more. Maybe I'm overthinking things, but does Alice have a tendency of picking overly difficult quests?

"Satou, if you stare at me like that, I'll get pregnant," Komekko said flatly, covering her chest with her arms and pretending to act shy.

"I better not have to explain to you that that's not how it works," I responded to her fake-kuudere tone. "Anyways, we're once again still missing Aqua. That's two days in a row she's been late."

"Isn't that Aqua up there?" Komekko asked, indicating with her thumb to the second level of the tavern.

I looked, and saw someone jumping up on the banister and balancing perfectly on it like a ninja. "Nature's beauty!" she said, while striking a pose, and three spouts of water shot into the air.

"Ooh!" "Wow! Do that again!" "That was amazing!"

"Thank you, thank you! Please, sir, no donations, I'm not a professional performer!"

A crowd of people were gathered around Aqua, watching her as she did some sort of party trick by shooting streams of water from the tips of paper fans.

"Oh, there you are Satou! Check this out, it's my newest trick! Nature's beauty!"

It actually would have looked kind of cool if it wasn't so annoying that she couldn't be this coordinated in a real monster fight.

We finally settled on a quest to go hunt goblins that were hiding near the edge of the forest.

At last, a normal-sounding quest that one would expect to undertake in a fantasy setting like this one. And more importantly, something that even a beginner like me could handle.

My only worry was that I still had no gear. Just this cheap sword I've been borrowing from the guild.

I would feel better if I had some armor. Using a sword puts me on the front line, so it doesn't feel right to have no extra protection.

I'm still wearing my school uniform. I can barely afford to get by with cheap meals at the guild and soup kitchens, so there has been no way to buy a set of adventuring clothes, let alone any actual gear.

My plan to become an Archer and provide support from the rear has been set back ever since I learned what happened to my heaven-provided cheat. Now I'll need to buy my own quiver, bow, and arrows, which is depressing.

Who knew that finances would be so tight in an isekai? Coin is usually one of the most manageable resources in a typical fantasy game.

No wonder more people in this world don't choose to become adventurers. The personal risk is high, and the start-up cost isn't cheap, either.

This loaner sword got me through the giant toads, so it'll have to do until I can earn some more money.

We were well past the city gates by mid-morning, traveling the dusty road across the fields and plains surrounding the walls. The forest was only a couple kilometers away from town, so we would not have to walk too far.

Once we were a little ways out, I noticed a number of craters in the ground. That number seemed to increase the further down the road we went, making for unusual scenery.

I wonder if there was a battle here in the past or something?

Many of the craters looked like they had been filled with imported earth and used for agriculture. That meant they had to be at least a few years old. None of my companions seemed to pay any attention to them, so it must have only been me who thought it out of the ordinary.

We arrived at the outskirts of the forest without incident.

"This is close to where the goblins are expected to be hiding," Alice said, inspecting the surroundings.

"I'm getting hungry," Komekko predictably rattled.

Alice glanced at Komekko. "I packed some snacks so we could have lunch. Do you want some, Komekko?"

Komekko's eyes glowed. "Snacks?"

Alice turned to Aqua and me. "What about you two? Are you hungry?"

"Oo, I am!" Aqua shot her hand in the air. "Take notice, Satou, Alice is showing you the proper way to treat a goddess!" She scampered over as Alice set down her bag and started taking things out.

"Wait, Aqua, it would be rude to―"

I skipped breakfast today, and not by choice. Still, I didn't want to intrude on Alice so soon after she only joined our party yesterday. I mean, we haven't even started our quest yet, really. But―

Then I saw Alice lift four bentos out of her bag and start handing them out.

"Here you go, I hope you like it!"

Komekko and Aqua greedily snatched their lunch boxes and opened them right away. Alice then turned to give me one.

What a kind girl! To think she went ahead and packed a lunch for everyone on our first adventure together!

But wait, we're supposed to be hunting goblins, right? This feels more like going on a picnic.

Omurice!? What a kind girl! I feel like asking her out right here, right now! I would definitely get rejected, of course, but…

"Thank you very much, Alice!" I said, genuinely grateful.

"You're welcome! I hope everything is to your taste, Satou!"

Don't smile at me like that! You'll only make me pine for you harder!

I sat down and after giving thanks for the meal, took up the spoon and scooped myself a bite. As expected, it was delicious. I made sure and let Alice know.

"It's delicious―"

"Ah! Delicious! Do you have any more, Alice?"

Komekko had already finished her bento and cut me off.

"Of course! Here you are!" Alice pulled out an extra tray of sandwiches and passed it over. "Eat up!"

"Ehe! Thank you! I love you, big sis Alice!" Komekko looked like she was in seventh heaven.

Alice smiled warmly in return. "You are very welcome, Komekko!"

I wanted to lecture Komekko on being too gluttonous, but Alice looked so happy to be feeding her, I didn't have the heart to spoil the mood.

Does Alice enjoy playing the older sister type? I wonder if she has any siblings? Ah, but that would make them royalty too, huh? Would she have ever had the opportunity to spoil her younger siblings? Or would they have been waited on hand and foot since birth by a coterie of maids? I want to ask her so I can get to know her better…

No, don't think about things like that! We are just party members, that's all. Besides, if someone began developing feelings for another member of their party, it would probably cause problems for everyone else. I needed to find a different topic to think about.

"So, what is our plan for taking on the goblins?" I asked, trying to start a more natural-sounding conversation.

"Goblins are weakling mob monsters, right?" Aqua quickly brought up. "They hardly pose any threat to a powerful goddess such as myself."

"But even goblins can be dangerous if encountered in large numbers," Alice stated. "If that happens, I will protect everyone!" She placed a hand over her chest, looking determined.

"You can count on me with my magic, too, Satou!" Komekko added. "I'm feeling nice and energetic today, so things won't go like they did the other day with those toads!"

Famous last words, much? I hope we didn't just trip three flags.

Say, back in my home country, goblins, though fictional, are notorious for being the archenemies of a party of beautiful girls. This better not be like one of those stories.

This really had better not be like one of those.

Please, God, don't let this end up like one of those.

I somberly straightened my back. "Listen. I'll do what I can to protect you all, too, but I can't promise much. If things start looking really bad, we run away immediately, got it?"

Aqua curled her nose. "Are you thinking of something really vile and filthy right now, Satou?"

"I am not!"

"Alright, is everyone ready?"

After cleaning up from our brunch, it was finally time to start the quest. At my question, everyone nodded, and turned their full attention to the woods standing before us.

"Okay, let's do this!"

Alice took the lead, followed by me, then Komekko, with Aqua in the back. That was the formation we had decided on. Everyone stayed silent as we crept through the woods, keeping our eyes and ears alert to any sign of monsters.

We followed a narrow trail that could only be taken single file. Soon, the only noise was the soft rustle of our footsteps or the occasional birdcall.

After about ten minutes of following the trail, Alice stopped and bent down. I cautiously approached, and as I looked over her shoulder I confirmed her discovery: a footprint. It was about the size of a child's, but the toes were longer and made distinguishable claw marks in the ground.

Most likely, it was made by a goblin.

"We must be getting close," Alice whispered.

I turned and quietly relayed this find to Komekko and Aqua. "Tracks," I simply said in a quiet voice.

"Which way do they go?" Komekko softly asked.

"I couldn't say for sure," Alice responded. "I don't have the Tracking skill."

The Tracking skill? That rang a bell. I believe it was Wiz who mentioned Archers could learn it.

Now I knew what skill I wanted to learn first.

"What are you guys whispering about?"

Said Aqua, in a normal tone that might as well have been a shout.

"Shh!" We all shushed.

"Huh? What are you putting your fingers to your mouths for? Are you making hand shadow puppets? Oh, you're on! I'll show you my deadly poison slime hand shadow! Never before seen! I've been practicing, and I daresay it's even better than my Mobile Fortress Destroyer!"

"Aqua! Shut up! You'll give away our position!" I fired back, but the damage was already done.

A noise came from our left, and we all jumped to face that direction. Whatever it was, it was still hidden in the dense foliage.

Alice drew her sword and took a defensive stance. I did likewise. Komekko began chanting under her breath. And Aqua―

"Hello, is that a goblin? If you're a goblin, come out nice and slowly, and I'll send you to the afterlife as painlessly as possible," she said in a singsong voice, cracking her knuckles.

This idiot is on a roll today!

We waited with bated breath, expecting something to jump out and attack at any moment.

…

…

…

Nothing.

After standing there for almost a minute, I couldn't keep tense any longer, and I sensed the others start to relax too.

"Must have gotten scared and run away," Aqua muttered, shaking her head with a pleased look. "Makes sense, any monster with a brain would know that going up against a goddess is basically a death sentence."

Don't act as if you did anything remotely helpful.

And then―

Sniff-sniff. Sniff-sniff.

Komekko was sticking her nose up in the air. Sniff-sniff, sniff-sniff. "Do you guys smell that?"

I sniffed, as did Alice and Aqua. I couldn't smell anything strange, however. "Smell what?"

Komekko crept over to where the noise had come from, still sniffing. Then, a wicked grin crossed her face, and drool began to droop from her lips.

"I smell―mushrooms!" With that, Komekko dove into the dense foliage.

"Hey, Komekko, wait! Don't leave the path or you'll get lost!" I quickly called, but too late. "Grr! Komekko, get back here!"

I chased after her, abandoning the trail.

Alice and Aqua glanced at each other before quickly joining me.

"Komekko! Halt! Heel! Bad girl! No treats!" I called, but she wasn't listening. Chasing after her, I managed to keep close enough not to lose sight of her.

Before I knew it, we broke out into a clearing. Komekko had stopped and was stooping over. "Komekko, you idiot! You're gonna get us lost in the forest!"

Komekko looked up at me from where she was squatting on the ground, a huge white mushroom sticking halfway out of her mouth.

We had stumbled into a patch of mushrooms the size of dinner plates. The round bulbs grew up to a meter tall and had little gray and orange spots on them.

Komekko swallowed and grinned. "Yum! Mushrooms! You want one, Satou?" She grabbed a nearby stalk and ripped it up before handing it to me.

I knocked it out of her hands. "Dummy! Idiot! Eating wild mushrooms is just about the stupidest thing you could do! They're most likely poisonous!"

Alice and Aqua finally caught up. "Wow, look at these! I have never seen mushrooms this big before!" Alice said, looking around.

"Satou, let's forage them all, then take them all back to the guild and sell them! They might be worth a lot!"

If even Aqua was holding thoughts like that, it only convinced me more how bad an idea it was.

Komekko chewed voraciously. "Sho good!"

"Spit it out before you―ah, why do you always swallow the second I say to spit it out!? This girl is hopeless! You know what, forget it! Get sick and die for all I care! Serves you right for eating wild mushrooms, Glutmekko!"

When I tried to reach out to take away the mushroom, she gulped down the huge bite she had just taken without chewing. She really does have a screw loose. I turned my back to Komekko in disdain.

"Don't worry so much, Satou!" Komekko retorted. "Most of the time, whenever I eat mushrooms, I just get sick for a day or two, then I'm fine after. I've eaten so many at this point, I probably have built up a tolerance to poison. In fact, as a Crimson Demon, I naturally have a strong constitution, so eating a couple mushrooms shouldn't be a problem for me. Probably."

"In that case, as a goddess, I have a natural immunity to all poisons. So I guess I'll help myself!"

Aqua bent down and ripped up a mushroom, giving it a quick sniff before taking a delicate bite. "Mm! Not bad!"

Alice watched the two closely. "Mushrooms are… not really poisonous, are they? I used to be served―I mean, I have eaten mushrooms myself many times. I do not believe they were ever poisonous." She moved closer to better inspect the nearest stipe.

As a former princess, she was probably only ever fed the highest quality vegetables from around the world. Alice likely never learned about the dangers of picking wild mushrooms.

"I wouldn't risk it," I quickly said. "Wild grown mushrooms are nothing like the ones that are grown and harvested specifically for eating. They can't be trusted."

"I see. It seems I still have much to learn about these things…" She reluctantly withdrew her hand, although she did not lift her gaze.

"Satou, you're being too cautious," Aqua said as she munched away. "Unlike back in Japan, only a few varieties of mushrooms in this world are deadly. No, the real danger of picking mushrooms is the risk of angering a Mushroom Mutant, the monster who guards and nourishes patches of wild mushrooms. But as you can see, this patch does not have a caretaker, so we're safe."

"Oi. You just tripped a flag, didn't you, Aqua."

"I have no idea what you're talking―"

"Hey! Who said you could eat anything in my garden?!"

Right on cue, a huge monster shaped like a mushroom but with long, gangly arms and a red-brown skin tone noticed us from across the clearing and shouted. It was about three and a half meters tall, had a distinct face with angry looking eyes, and thick legs like tree trunks.

It took a couple steps to cross the distance between us. "Get off my property, you rotten, noisy kids!"

"It talks like an old man!" I exclaimed.

"Everyone, get behind me!" Alice reacted, drawing her sword. Aqua and I instantly retreated so that she was between us and the monster.

Komekko, on the other hand―

As first to enter the mushroom patch, she was already positioned closest. Perhaps it was that, or it was because she was still chewing on a mushroom, that the Mushroom Mutant focused its attention on her.

"Don't worry, everyone!" Komekko showed no fear as she swallowed her mouthful in the face of the approaching monster. "The way to scare away monsters is to show them your teeth, like this! Ksha!"

She put up her hands in what she apparently thought was a threatening display. However, due to the huge disparity in size, I did not see much chance of her tactic proving effective.

"Get off my lawn already!"

The Mushroom Mutant came to a halt about four meters away from Komekko and demanded such, pointing its spindly finger toward the way we came. "I've already warned you! I may be a monster, but I don't attack humans without just cause. If you don't vacate the premises of my garden immediately, don't get upset if I defend my territory!" It glared down at her, unblinking.

"See? It's working!" exclaimed Komekko as she continued to bare her canines.

"I don't think it is; the monster just has a decent set of values!" I shouted.

Wait, a monster that has its own sense of values? This world is so strange. The sad thing is, from what I've heard so far this talking mushroom has a better grasp of ethics than some of my own companions.

"We're sorry! We'll leave right away! C'mon, Komekko, you bow your head and say sorry, too! Let's take advantage of the Mushroom Mutant's kindness and get out of here while we can!"

Even Aqua was bowing as she said that! Should a goddess really be lowering her head to a fungus?

"Crimson Demons never back away from monsters!" Komekko said while flipping her cape, ignoring Aqua. "Fufufu, you look really tasty." She even started to drool a little.

"Your true intentions are showing," I flatly stated.

"What insolence! This is why I can't stand you humans! First you let yourselves in uninvited, then you take things that aren't yours, and now you're resorting to violence!"

The Mushroom Mutant had a point. I was starting to feel kinda bad for the guy.

"Stand back, Komekko! I'll give this monster a taste of my Exterion!"

Alice tried to position herself better, but Komekko was still standing in her line of sight.

The Mushroom Mutant assessed Alice for the first time. "Wait a second, are you actually beginner adventurers? I sense that that one's level is extremely high! Gah, your aura, it's making these old roots rattle and creak! What sort of a monster are you? If my only mission in life weren't to protect my domain, I…"

When the monster trailed off, Komekko raised her palm to take aim.

"Leave my party member out of this! The only monster here is you, and your opponent shall be me! I am Komekko, an archwizard and wielder of advanced magic! The demons of the underworld quake at the mere mention of my name! Prepare to become my next… meal… In…fer…"

At that moment, just as she was about to cast her advanced fire spell, Komekko keeled over and began foaming at the mouth.

"Blubububuh!"

"Komekko!" Alice cried out in concern. "Hang in there! I'll save you!"

"Satou, I think I'm, also―bluuuurrrghghgh!"

All of a sudden, Aqua too started puking up rainbows right beside me.

"I told you not to eat those damn mushrooms!" I angrily shouted.

"Ehu-hu-huu, wah!"

Aqua wiped at the tears flowing freely down her face, while I was relegated once again to carrying Komekko on my back.

The Mushroom Mutant managed to dish out several hard blows with its branch-like arms to Komekko, and had wrapped Aqua upside down in some vines before Alice took it out with a single strike. Despite having already casted healing magic and toxin purification spells on Komekko and herself, Aqua was still bawling like a child at the traumatic experience.

Even after being detoxed, Komekko still said she felt woozy, which was why I had to carry her. So much for all that crap Aqua said about mushrooms in this world rarely being poisonous.

"Let's head back into town," I said. "We can pick the trail of the goblins back up tomorrow."

"P-please do not give up on m-my account," Komekko mumbled. "I c-can, still, fire magic like this from Satou's back―hrgg!"

She hurriedly covered her mouth.

"Don't puke on me, or I will drop you here and leave you behind," I said.

"I'm―sorry," Komekko replied. "Please, d-don't, jostle so much as you w-walk, Satou."

"Are you really sorry? Let me remind you that we lost the path because you let your stomach do your thinking and decided to wander off on your own. If you haven't learned your lesson, I swear I'll put a muzzle on you next time so that you won't be able to eat anything all day until the quest is over!"

"No! Please, I really am sorry this time, so don't do that, Satou!"

Her voice cracked a little. It seems I may have found a good method to train her with.

"Then promise you won't run off on your own to eat something weird off the ground anymore."

Komekko nodded. "I promise. Just don't do something that cruel, or I will never forgive you."

I think she has reflected a little on her actions, so I decided to let it be.

Besides, if I really forced her to fast for a day, she would quickly run out of firepower and become dead weight. I shouldn't have to go that far. Hopefully.

Aqua, whose crying had petered out during our conversation, was looking at me with a disappointed look.

"What?" I asked.

"I was just thinking, coming up with a mean punishment on the spot like that is just the sort of thing Kazuma would do. You better not become one of his followers or I will be forced to give you divine retribution."

"Are you comparing me to the Demon King? I'm nothing like him!"

"Ah, are we talking about Elder Brother? Do you think slaying a Mushroom Mutant will be enough to make him focus his attention on us?"

"Sorry, Alice, I don't think the Demon Lord notices every single time some adventurers kill a random monster," I leveled with her.

"Darn, you are probably right." Alice seemed to fall into a deep thought at my answer. "If we took out one of his generals, though, then he would have to take us seriously!"

Dude, half of our party just got wiped out by a single monster. I don't think we are ready to take on one of his generals yet. Not for a long time.

"Anyways, we are getting off topic! Aqua, this is partly your fault, too!"

"Eh? How is this my fault?"

"Are you stupid? You were so loud you completely gave away our position! Something definitely almost found us before Komekko ran off to go pick mushrooms, and that's on you!"

"But―but―!" she whined, on the verge of tears.

"No buts about it! Learn to read the room and use your inside voice when we are out in the woods hunting monsters!"

"But―Satou is the one who is being the most noisy right now!" Aqua countered.

"―"

I bit my tongue when a small object darted past my head, making a whooshing noise.

Despite its high speed, my eyes barely made out what it was. I took a deep breath...

World Pause!

I quickly activated the ability I was given when I came to this world.

Although I may not be able to move, I could at least scan my surroundings. And in the bushes just ahead, I saw a pair of yellow eyes that were sitting about waist-high.

They were attached to a long, protruding green nose and a hairless head.

A goblin.

He had just fired the arrow that barely missed me.

"Hey, why did everyone stop?" Aqua said after nearly bumping into Alice's backside. "Hellooo, Alice? Satou? Where are you looking?"

Aqua was not affected by my ability. Not realizing what was going on, she was waving her hand in my face, trying to get a reaction.

Idiot! I'm trying to search for more! Stop blocking my view! I can't move, you know!

"Goblins! We're under attack!" I immediately shouted the second I released my hold on time, simultaneously crouching while trying to protect Komekko.

Alice reacted superhumanly fast. "Everyone, stay close to me!" Her sword was already flashing as she waved it in the air, ready to take action.

"Eh? Goblins? Where?" Aqua turned around stupidly, trying to locate the monsters.

"Right in front of us, you dumbass! I saw at least three or four before you started waving your hand in front of my face!"

"Oh, you went and did it now! Calling me a dumbass!? You were the one shouting so loudly the goblins found us! I demand that you apologize right now for saying it was me who was being too loud earlier!" Tears were creeping into the corners of her eyes.

"Aqua, be careful! We appear to be surrounded!" interrupted Alice, wearing a concerned look. That made Aqua focus her attention on the actual danger instead of me.

I looked around, and as she said that, a semicircle of goblins emerged from the foliage to cut off our path forward. Eight, nine, ten, then there were a dozen I counted that were approaching toward us from all directions. Some had arrows drawn, some had shoddy wooden spears, the rest carried clubs or various short swords.

"Aqua!" I hissed, "I'm gonna activate World Pause. I'll hold my breath for as long as I can, how many do you think you can take out?"

This was the best strategy I could come up with using the cards I was dealt. Since World Pause also prevents me from moving, Aqua is the only one who can fully take advantage of it.

"Why are you making me do all the work? Don't turn into a lazy, stupid NEET who won't even lift a finger!"

"Huh? You're the only one who isn't affected by it, so what do you expect me to do?"

Why was this idiot so opposed to my plan? Was she holding onto her grudge about me getting mad at her earlier, was that why she was refusing to go along with our only good option?

"Excuse me, Satou, I don't know what you two are arguing about, but can you let me down? That way I can cast invisibility magic on myself and escape."

Inserted Komekko, who was still clinging to my back.

Why are both of these girls so useless? First during the Mushroom Mutant attack, and now again, all they do is cause me problems! Alice is the only one in this party who carries her own weight.

I had been worried that she would end being up just like these two troublemakers, but Alice appeared to actually be the reliable and level-headed senpai I had initially taken her for―

"Look, Satou! The goblins are retreating!"

Huh?

Alice's observation broke my train of thought.

While Aqua and I had been busy arguing, Alice had stepped up to put herself between us and the goblin horde. And sure enough, despite having the numerical and tactical advantage, the goblins who had surrounded us were now backing off. No, they were literally running away.

Did I miss something?

"Huh, that's strange," Aqua commented, but quickly recovered her composure. "They must have noticed my holy aura and been scared away."

"Scared away is right." I agreed on that much, though I don't think Aqua had anything to do with it. "But doesn't this sort of thing usually only happen when a bigger, scarier monster is standing right behind us?"

Slowly, I turned around, afraid of what I might see…

There was nothing.

I mean, I was relieved, but―

"We must not let them escape! Everyone, leave this to me!"

Alice said, as if she had not heard our little conversation going on behind her, before bolting off into the forest after the goblins.

"Wait! Alice! I just finished lecturing Komekko about running off into the forest alone, don't you go doing it too!"

"Do not worry about me! In fact, if you must abandon me to fight all these monsters alone, I would not mind at all!"

Shouted Alice over her shoulder while she raced deeper into the woods.

What on earth was she talking about?

And here I had just thought about how she was the only one who hadn't caused any problems today.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Is there a girl to be found anywhere who isn't some kind of crazy?