"Hey, Satou, can you actually read this? Despite being a Crimson Demon genius, even my Demon's Eye is incapable of deciphering this language."
"I think I have come across characters like these a few times. Was this letter written by one of the adventurers in the capital with dark hair and dark eyes, who are known for being unusually strong? People who are from the same land where Elder Brother was born?"
Asked Komekko and Alice while they stared curiously at the letter I held in my hands.
Aqua, on the other hand―
"Who does this guy think he is? Calling me a moronic goddess?! Ooh! I can't wait to see the look on his stupid face when he eats a God's Blow sandwich!"
―Was shaking her fist in anger while her eyes scanned the lines one by one.
"Even Aqua can read it? Does my title as the Foremost Genius Little Sister of the Crimson Demons mean so little?" Komekko wasn't taking this well; her hands were pinned against the sides of her head.
"What does it say, Satou?" Alice prompted.
I lowered the parchment and clenched my teeth. "It's from one of the Demon King's generals. Inviting me to defect and join the Demon King's army," I said using level tones.
"From one of the Demon King's generals?!" x2
Komekko and Alice reacted in unison, eyes full of surprise.
I nodded grimly. "That's what it says. He's going to be here to escort me to the capital in one week."
"In one week?!" x3
The guild receptionist joined in, going so far as to cover her mouth and let out a slight gasp.
I nodded again. The letter had today's date on it, so we truly did still have a week before we could expect the general's arrival.
"One of the Demon King's generals is coming to Axel? Oh no, this is bad…" The receptionist looked especially worried by this news. "We have to warn the town, and issue a call for reinforcement knights and adventurers from the nearby towns and cities. If we are lucky, we might be able to get some help from some high-leveled adventurers from Alcanretia…" She turned on her heel and quickly dashed off.
Seeing her so disheveled caused me to finally realize the precarious situation we were now in. It hadn't really hit me at first, since we weren't talking about a big, scary, boss-type monster or anything. But even if they were just a Japanese reincarnate, they were still a general of the Demon King's army, and that meant they had to be strong.
Still, we already have Alice, right? I have it on good authority that she is much stronger than the highest ranked of the Demon King's generals, so we should be fine―
"Does this mean Elder Brother has finally taken an interest in me, enough to send one of his generals out to meet us? Perhaps there is a chance I can persuade this general to bring us to the castle, and I'll finally reunite with Elder Brother, and then, pant, pant, no, Elder Brother, we mustn't! We can't kiss until we are married! Oh, but maybe a kiss on the cheek would be alright…"
Alice was cupping her face and swaying her body while getting herself caught up in some sort of weird daydream. Damn it, this girl never breaks character, does she?
"Fufu, I can't say I'm surprised that the Demon King's generals are trying to recruit a powerful archmage like myself. After all, the rumors that the Crimson Demons and Axis Cultists are the only two groups the Demon King fears are not completely baseless. It makes sense that they would want my awesome power on their side."
Said Komekko while crossing her arms and wearing a self-satisfied look, despite the fact that the letter had said nothing about her whatsoever. Closing one eye, she struck a pose and jutted her thumb to herself. "I say we at least listen to what this general has to say before writing them off."
How can these two just invite themselves along so easily? Also, are there actually rumors like that? The Crimson Demons I could plausibly see being a threat to the Demon King, considering they are a village of extremely powerful mages. But Axis Cultists―I think that was the name of Aqua's religious followers, wasn't it?
I was prevented from inquiring as to why Aqua's believers were one of the only two groups the Demon King feared by the guild receptionist, who at that moment climbed up onto a chair and used a sort of low-tech megaphone to get the attention of all the adventurers currently inside the guild.
"Attention, everybody! We have just received word that one of the generals of the Demon King's army will be visiting Axel in one week!"
All the adventurers who had until then been relaxing and chatting throughout the dining hall suddenly tensed up and listened.
"To deal with this catastrophe, we are calling on all adventurers registered with the guild to help us defend our beloved town! I know many of you aided in the battle eight years ago when a unit of the Demon King's army attacked Axel, and we ask for your help once again in repelling this upcoming attack! Especially those of you with high levels!"
A heavy silence fell over the guild hall, as everyone shared nervous looks with their party members at this sudden news.
In the suddenly bleak atmosphere, one man stood up to take in the crowd. "Heh, guess my time in the limelight hasn't fully ended, has it? Alright, I defended this town once before from the Demon King's armies, and I'll do it again!"
The blond-haired delinquent, Dust, said as much.
"Huh? But Dust hardly did anything during the attack eight years ago. I remember seeing him run off every time a new wave of monsters appeared, and leaving all the hard work for the rest of us!" one adventurer said.
"Yeah! I seem to recall that when a huge squadron of kobolds broke through the front lines, he left us to handle them on our own! He didn't lift a finger during the attack!" spoke another.
"When some ogres broke into the guild, I remember Dust standing at the doorway, looking around, and then turning and running the other way!"
Dust's face flushed red as he rounded on those in the peanut gallery. "I'll have you know I was busy doing other important stuff behind the scenes! I worked harder to defend Axel than anyone here could possibly imagine!"
A wave of laughter swept through the guild.
"Dust? Worked hard? Aren't those two words contradictions?"
"He probably did work really hard trying to swindle money off the Demon King's soldiers using the old, 'it's me, it's me!' scam!"
"I heard during the ruckus the police were having a hard time dealing with a pervert who was running around town in his underwear swinging his sword around! I bet it was Dust!"
"You wanna go, punks? If you're spoilin' for a fight, let's take it outside right now!"
Veins were popping from Dust's temple as he shouted at the adventurers who were mocking him.
"Rather than Dust, where is our town's ace adventurer, Tsumugi-chan? Would she be able to help us?"
"Isn't she the one who defeated Ifrit, the Great Fire Spirit, single-handedly?"
"I don't see her here."
"I heard she and her party were recently driving off the Brutal Alligators from the lake."
"Let's ask for their help when they return. If Tsumugi is with us, even a general will think twice about picking a fight here!"
A cheer rang through the hall, and Dust moodily slumped back down in his seat. Sounds like some of the adventurers here had a plan in mind already. Although I don't know who this Tsumugi person is, I'm a little surprised that Alice isn't the first name to come to everyone's mind when discussing Axel's 'ace adventurer.' But then again, my party are the only ones in the guild who aren't bothered by letting a princess fight monsters.
However, the whole guild had now been drawn into this conversation that was based on a faulty premise from the start. Deciding it was past time, I belatedly raised my hand to speak. "Um, excuse me, the letter doesn't mention anything about an attack. I mean, I'm not saying he won't attack, but… Well, the general just wants me, apparently."
Everyone in the hall now had their eyes on me, making me feel self-conscious. "So, like, if I turned myself over, I think the town would be safe."
"No! Satou, you can't! Don't listen to this general guy!" Aqua fell to her knees and grabbed my shirt, her eyes and nose already beginning to leak moisture. "Please, don't leave me! I was just starting to have fun with this party, it's not fair to break it up now! I'll never forgive you if you go off to live a hedonistic lifestyle full of debauchery and lasciviousness!"
Aqua's unnecessary words brought Alice and Komekko out of their thoughts. "What do you mean, Aqua?" asked Komekko.
"Kazuma built a Red Lights District in the capital! I can't believe he actually went and did it! And this general someone-or-other is using that as a way to promote joining the Demon King's side!" explained Aqua. Apparently she couldn't remember this general even though she was the one who gave him a cheat and sent him to this world.
"A Red Lights District?" Alice asked, tilting her head.
"What does that mean?" Komekko further prompted.
"Brothels!" Alice's and Komekko's faces fell. "Oh, and it also mentions that they have opened up a succubus shop in the capital, too!" continued Aqua, as she scanned the contents of the letter again. "It all makes sense now! Why do you think so many of the adventurers who have flocked to the Demon King's side are male? Because Kazuma knows exactly how to appeal to the base and carnal natures that all men share!"
Alice and Komekko glanced my way suspiciously. Aqua climbed to her feet and puffed her cheeks out. "According to this letter, this general intends to bribe our Satou over to the Demon King's side using the tempting allure of resting in a prostitute's bosom!"
Dark looks crossed the faces of every woman in the guild as they stared at me.
Komekko took an advancing step toward me while cracking her knuckles. "Oi, Satou, can you explain to me precisely what you meant when you said you would turn yourself over?"
"H-hey, I never said I was interested in joining them just because of something like that!" I put my hands up defensively.
"Did you say the Demon King established brothels in the capital?" Dust eagerly interrupted. "How am I only just hearing of this?! Guys, did you know that?"
His companions shook their heads no.
"A branch of the succubus shop opened in the capital?" Keith was the only one who reacted. "Maybe we should defect over to the Demon King's city too!"
"Get your heads out of the gutter," Rin roared, gripping her magical staff menacingly. "If you two go to the capital and visit any brothels, don't bother coming back and expecting to have a spot in this party!"
As I looked around, I noticed similar types of conversations going on in other parties with mixed genders.
"Everyone, please, quiet down!" the receptionist tried to shout, but was ignored, for the guild had now exploded with noise from everyone talking.
"You better not be thinking of defecting to the Demon King's side either, Satou," Komekko growled my way.
Weren't you the one who was saying we should hear him out just a few minutes ago?
"If you throw away this party for the sake of visiting Kazuma's whorehouses, I'll definitely curse you with a nasty venereal disease," Aqua intoned threateningly.
Why am I being treated like the bad guy here? It wasn't like I was actually considering the general's proposal…
At least, not seriously, anyways…
Alice didn't say anything, instead meekly glancing sidelong at me occasionally while covering her mouth with her finger.
I know I never really had much of a shot with her in the first place, but now my hopes have really been dashed. Why are all three of these girls so quick to assume the worst of me?
Is it just because I have the same name as the Demon King?
Now I almost want to take the general up on it just to spite them. Shit. Could Aqua actually curse me with a venereal disease? Her personality aside, her identity and powers as a goddess are the real deal. I don't think I want to test it.
"Guys," I finally said, "I have no intention of joining the Demon King's side. I wish you would have a little more faith in me."
That softened their stinging looks in a hurry. Aqua loosened her cheeks and dropped her accusatory demeanor. "Hmpf! You might actually be even more spineless than Kazuma when it comes to crossing the line of adulthood!"
Huh? The Demon King built a Red Lights District in the capital and legalized prostitution. You're calling that spineless?
Komekko also assumed a gentler tone. "Sorry, Satou. I guess I did jump to conclusions a little there."
Alice nodded. "I also never doubted the nobility of your intentions."
I inwardly whewed. I noticed my armpits had begun to sweat during that exchange. "Good. I will accept your apologies this time. Now why don't we all get some rest and try to come up with a way to deal with this general in the morning?"
"Welcome, boy who stayed up all night pondering whether he should risk it all and go visit the Red Lights District without telling his companions!"
"Wh-wh-what are you talking about? I just got here! Who starts a conversation like that? Hey, girls, don't look at me like that! He's obviously making that all up, right? I mean, what is he, a mind-reader or something?!"
"Fwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Moi, Vanir, the All-Seeing Devil, doth declare that there is no lie in my words! Ah, there are the delicious emotions Moi knew thou wast capable of producing! Excellent! Truly, not only did thee give the matter serious thought, but thou also spent considerable time thinking that it might be possible to make thyself look heroic by turning yourself over! 'If I let the general take me, he will surely spare the rest of the town!' Thou very nearly convinced thyself that such a plan would work to cover up thy desires, and make all the adventurers in the guild believe in your good heart! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Having your true nature displayed before your comrades must be your greatest fear to produce such shameful emotions!"
And that was how all my hard work to salvage my reputation went down the drain the next morning.