6
Kirche!
A sulking Naruto strolled through the halls of the castle in the middle of the night. "Dammit, that shorty Louise… what's her problem?!"
The cold sweeping through the empty corridors made him shiver, leaving his jacket back in her room hadn't been his best idea. To make matters worse, he was now very hungry. With the toxins out of his body, his appetite returned with a vengeance.
What a shame that he had really made Louise upset this time.
"Heyyyyy, Louiseeeeeee, I'm really starving now!" Naruto whined as she came back to her suite. "I haven't eaten anything in two days before I came here, can we go to the Dinning Hall for some grub—"
Her hazel gaze was deadly in his eyes.
Naruto shuddered slightly at how angry she looked. It brought memories of the look (as he termed it) that Sakura would often adopt before retaliating in a very violent way when they were younger.
Then, pouting, she turned her head. "Impossible."
"Eh?" Naruto was at a loss. "Whaddya mean 'impossible'?"
"You deserve discipline for insulting your mistress, so I have cut your meals for today. You won't eat anything."
"Ah?!" Naruto blurted out. "That ain't fair! I haven't eaten anything in days already!"
"Should've thought twice before, calling me a washboard."
Naruto pouted, "I literally didn't. Think you're going deaf, mistress, yup."
"Not helping your case, Naruto…"
"Isn't the master's responsibility to take care of her familiar?" Naruto retorted. "C'mon, mistress! Please!"
She pushed him, "Gross! Keep your peasant germs to yourself!" then she sighed. "Fine! I'll make one exception for your performance in the duel with Guiche, but don't expect it to become a trend!"
"Really?" Naruto grinned broadly. "Thanks, Louise-sama!" He hugged her and lifted her tiny body effortlessly. "I owe you my life!"
"H-H-H-HEY!" she shrieked, her face burning red with embarrassment. "P-PUT ME DOWN, STUPID FAMILIAR! Y-YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!"
Naruto laid her down and scratched his head, blurting out, "Sorry! I got too excited."
"Hmph! Y-You always got too much energy for my liking!" Louise merely snorted as she turned around.
"I swear! I won't ever call you a flat washboard again, no matter how small you are, Louise!"
The girl's eyes flashed with anger again, as she snapped her head towards him. "Who did you just say…?" She growled lowly.
Naruto covered his mouth, "Shit!"
The girl stomped towards him.
"S-Sorry, that slipped out…"
"D-D-D-Did y-you just call your mistress a washboard so flat that even an A-cup bra would be pointless…?" Her eyes were shadowed again. "ARE YOU?!"
He reeled back, raising up his arms defensively,"Err… no, mistress I think you're exaggerating…" he said, scratching his head.
"Is that so?" she said.
Naruto looked at her, nervously, and gulped knowing what was coming.
"NO MEALS UNTIL I SAY SO, AND YOU WILL SLEEP OUTSIDE TONIGHT!"
"EHHHHH?!"
Naruto rubbed his sore, red nose.
"She didn't have to slam the door in my face so hard," he groused, then he tucked his hand back into his pocket. "I said I was going to stick around until I figured out a way to get back home and try to be her friend, but that runt is making it harder than it needs to be."
Naruto was just wandering around, pondering stuff, when he bumped into an older woman with green hair tied in a ponytail. Her notes from her clipboard fell out and scattered all over the place.
"Sorry, granny…" he said.
The woman seemed upset by the way he addressed her, with a vein throbbing on her forehead. "I'm twenty years old, boy. I'm not that old!"
As usual, Naruto just gave a little tooth-baring grin offhandedly scratching the back of his head.
"Hah, hah! Sorry! That's how I call Granny Tsunade and you sorta reminded me of her!"
"Honestly, you should—" The woman, Miss Longueville, fixed her glasses. The Gandálfr, huh?
Naruto peeked at the note briefly, curious and frowned. A huge humanoid figure was sketched there.
What is that? He thought.
Then Miss Longueville snatched it away from him.
"These documents are important and confidential, okay? Kids like you shouldn't be reading them!" she hissed, looking at a little bit tense, for whatever reason.
"Relax, will ya?" Naruto groused. "It's not like I understand what any of that stuff says."
"Oh, right, I forgot you're a peasant," Miss Longueville said.
Naruto made a face, "Hey, excuse me for never knowing all that Hocus-pocus crap."
"S-Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude." Longueville sighed, "I'm a mage, but I was stripped of my noble title, so in a way, I'm a peasant like you."
"Eh, they can just do that?" the boy looked at her, surprised.
Her face darkened as she nodded, "Nobles can be quite the selfish lot…"
The Uzumaki noticed the anger in her face, even if it was only for a moment, and it made him uncomfortable. It resembled the hatred he had seen in his best friend in the past.
"Hey, lady, you're alright?"
Miss Longueville seemed to realize this, and she immediately changed her expression, giving the boy a friendly smile.
"A-Anyway, there's a lot of work I have to do," she said. "I'm the school secretary, so I've got a lot of work to do tonight."
Naruto looked on, a bit confused, as the woman hurried down the hall.
"What's up with her? This place is full of weirdos…" He paused when his stomach growled again. "Man, I'm starving…"
"Naruto-san?"
He looked up in surprise, "Siesta?"
"What are you doing here at this hour? Shouldn't you be in Miss Vallière's bedroom?" the maid asked.
"Tsk!" Naruto snorted, with his hands in his pocket. "Spoiled brat got into a fit with me again and booted me out of her room. I don't even know why! I swear, I'll never get girls…"
"It's okay…" she looked at him, a bit concerned. "You seem rather sad, Naruto-san, is something wrong?"
"Oh! Well, yeah…" his stomach grumbled again, and he whined, "I'm starving. I haven't eaten since yesterday thanks to the poison and all that's been going on before coming here."
The maid paused, and then put on a serious expression. "Follow me."
"Eh?" he looked at her at a loss.
Naruto put his hands together in a pray sign, his mouth watering at the delicious smell of the meal before him. "Thank you for the meal!"
He wasn't used to eating with a wooden spoon—chopsticks were usually the only thing you'd eat with one. But the smell of the stew hung in the air, almost calling to him with its irresistible scent, so he wasn't worried about the difference.
With a smile, he took a bite and couldn't help but shiver at how delicious it was.
"Man! It's so good!" Naruto exclaimed. "It's just as good as Ichiraku's ramen!"
The stocky, bearded man in a chef's uniform grinned proudly. "Good to hear ya like it, Our Sword."
Naruto gave him a puzzled look.
"Our Sword?" he said, swallowing a scoop of stew.
The man nodded, "Yo're a peasant, just like us, but you didn't back down and showed some real guts fighting that stuck-up noble brat, and then you wiped the floor with him. You're the pride of us peasants, Our Sword!"
"I dunno…" Naruto frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"When I grabbed that sword," Naruto gave his left hand and the runes carved into it a strange look, "it was like my body was moving on his own accord. It's so weird…"
The man, however grinned, "Did ya hear that? A true master is like this, never boasting! This is where he's different from all those stupid nobles. I expected nothing less from him!"
"Nothing less!" repeated most of the kitchen staff.
"I can't believe they eat something so good all of this time!" Naruto pouted.
"Hmph!" the man snorted with pride, "When it comes to me, Marteau the head chef, anything will taste exquisite. It's in and of itself!"
"Hell yeah! I've never had a stew as tasty as this!" Naruto nodded.
"You're a good man!" Naruto almost threw up his food when the chef accidentally patted him on the back a little too hard.
Everyone was in good spirits, and Naruto was right along with them. The whole scene was so pleasant that it made him nostalgic for home.
Naruto looked up at the night sky, marveling at the countless stars.
Electricity was nonexistent in Halkeginia, leaving the night sky unspoiled by artificial light. Candles and torches, the only sources of illumination within the castle, pushed back against the dusk ever so slightly, but not enough to obscure the millions of tiny specks of light dancing across the vast, black velvet of darkness stretching out before them.
Of course, he had seen stars in the past, but never so distinctly. When he was younger, he hadn't given much thought to the little things in life. But as time passed, he came to appreciate them more. More so after he was brought to Tristain's Academy.
"Please, come again soon, they're all Naruto-san's fans now," Siesta said softly and Naruto chuckled awkwardly.
"This place isn't such a bad place, after all, I'd like to stay here for longer…" he said, smiling broadly.
"By the way, Naruto-san…"
Naruto looked at her, "Hm?"
"You have friends at home, don't you? You must miss them terribly," the girl said with an empathetic smile.
From his pants' pockets, Naruto retrieved a small photograph. There were four people in it, and she immediately picked out the blond kid with the orange and blue tracksuit and the irritated look, showing his teeth as a younger Naruto.
He was shooting a sideways glare at another kid, who was wearing blue and had jet-black hair framing both sides of his face. The kid was blatantly ignoring him, looking like he was rolling his eyes.
A silver-haired older man was holding the two of them by the heads, and in the middle was a pink-haired girl, smiling brightly at the camera.
"They're my team," Naruto said, then he pointed at himself in the photograph. "Look at that big ol' idiot right there," then he pointed at himself with his thumb, winking an eye, "He's turned into quite the lady-killer, huh? "
The girl's face flushed as red as a tomato. "A-Ah, w-well… y-you've… c-certainly…"
Naruto chuckled as he watched steam practically pour out of her ears. "Hah, hah! It's like I thought, you're just like her!"
Siesta blinked, her cheeks still flushed, "L-Like who?"
"One of my friends, Hinata," Naruto elaborated, looking at her. "She would get all fidgety like that anytime I talked to her."
His smile fell, "Man, I wonder how's everyone back at home…"
"Err…" Siesta tried to change the topic, in an attempt at trying to cheer him up. "So, what happened with the black-haired boy, he's your friend, right?"
Rather than cheering him up, Naruto frowned. "See, Sasuke… he's the main reason why I'm tryin' to get back home, it's important…"
Siesta looked at him, concerned. "Did something happen between you two?"
He lowered his gaze, thoughtfully.
"Yeah," Naruto said, at last. "Sorta." As he scratched his head, he groused, "It's… complicated… We did stupid things, said stupid things, and he ended up going a bit of a dark path." He tried his best to keep everything that had happened with Sasuke the other day under wraps, there was no need to worry her with that mess, anyway, "I'm just… I'm just tryin' to pick up the pieces and try to mend what's broken, but it's not an easy thing, you know?"
He smiled sadly.
"I'm not sure what may have happened," Siesta said, "But I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a way to patch things up with this Sasuke fellow."
Naruto looked at her, "You think?"
"Yes," she nodded. "You're a kind and strong person. If there's anyone who can do it, that's you."
He smiled at her, "Thanks for being so nice up until now, Siesta," he patted her in the shoulder "Honestly. I… kinda needed to hear that, after such a hard week. You're a good friend."
"Friend?" the girl blinked, taken aback.
"Yeah," he smirked. "We're friends, right?"
She smiled gently, her cheeks flushed again as she did so, "Yes, we're friends."
There was a red crocodile right in front of him, and it was spitting out little flames while making high-pitched growling noises. Naruto just stared back at its yellow eyes, his blue eyes showing mild surprise.
"A big red lizard?" he whispered.
He was pacing around the office after saying goodbye to Siesta, trying to find something to take his mind off things until morning. Then the lizard slithered right in front of him. The thing was way faster than he thought it'd be.
"Oh, right, you're that girl's… what did they call us… familiar?" Naruto recalled as he squatted down to get a closer look at it. "So I'm in the same level as this thing, huh? Whaddaya want, little guy?"
It made a noise before snatching Naruto's shirt with its jaws and yanking.
"Hey! Careful, you'll light my shirt on fire, and that's the only thing keeping me warm!" he said as he yanked the fabric back out of its jaw. "What'd you want to show me?"
It bobbed its head toward a half-open door. Naruto blinked in confusion.
The room was dark when he crept into it. "Hello?"
Naruto looked around, trying to see anything in the dim light, but all he saw was moonlight streaming through the window and the flickering fire coming from Flame's tail. He squeezed his eyes shut like he always did and made his way inside.
"What's goin' on?" he mussed.
"Close the door please," Kirche voice drifted through the darkness.
"Oh," Naruto did as she said. "It's dark as hell, here, you know?"
He surveyed his surroundings with astonishment. In the dim light, Kirche's suite was similar to Louise's, boasting some of the most luxurious decor he had ever seen, from what he could make out, anyway.
He heard a snap of fingers, and the candles around Kirche lit up like a light show on a street. "Over here, silly~"
"Huh?" Naruto glanced into the darkness and immediately turned red.
Kirche was perched on the bed, her legs outstretched and inviting, as she sat up. She was wearing a purple strapless nightgown that left little to the imagination.
Meanwhile, Naruto just stood a little ways off, watching her, too nervous to move.
She looked at him with a look of worry.
"What's the matter~? Don't just stand there… come to me~" she cooed.
Stupidly, Naruto pointed at himself, gulping hard.
"There's no one else in the room, right?"
He looked at the salamander, then back at her. "Well… he's here too, I guess?" Naruto said, offhandedly, pointing at it, as it croaked happily.
"You're such a goofball~!" Kirche giggled. "But I'm talking to you…"
She stood up. Naruto just realized she was taller by a head than him.
"Come here~" she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards her bed, making Naruto yelp. "Sit down."
"Huh?" he said. "Oh, right!"
She leaned her lovely face closer to his, her sweet lips curving up as she swept her lustrous red hair away from her other eye.
Her smooth brown skin shimmered alluringly in the dim light.
"I know it's something that shouldn't be…" she pressed an index finger to her lips, her expression too alluring to pass over. Naruto wondered if this was what those poor saps who fell for the Ninja Centerfold felt like. "But my by name is Ardent…" she got closer to him, and Naruto flinched as she pressed her cleavage against his own chest. "I tend to burn like a torch, you know?"
Naruto chuckled, a nervous wreck, blushing so hard he'd give Hinata a run for her money.
"U-Uh, I-I see! T-That's c-cool, Red!"
She pouted, "Jeez, still don't get it, dummy?"
"Get what?"
"I'm in love with you!"
"HUH?!" Naruto cried out.
"Love always comes so suddenly, wouldn't you agree?" She cupped her hands around her cheeks, looking a bit shy.
"A little too sudden, if I say, ya know!"
"You looked so brave and handsome when you took on Guiche!" she suddenly leaned in close to Naruto, hands firmly holding his. "The way you just kept getting up despite the amount of injuries you sustained, all to earn my respect—"
"Actually, it was everyone's acknowledgement…" Kirche didn't hear him.
"Seeing such a display of bravery from you, a mere peasant, Kirche the Ardent became Kirche the Passionate!"
"Pa…ssionate?" Naruto blinked, looking more confused than anything.
"That's right!" she held his hand higher, "I've been writing love songs since that day! Love songs! Just for you, Uzumaki Naruto! You appear in my dreams every night, so I told Flame to see how you're doing!"
Kirche took Naruto's silence as a sign and moved closer to him, closing her eyes and stretching her lips for a kiss. While Louise was cute, he had to admit Kirche had such a spicy, irresistible energy, from her drop-dead gorgeous body to her personality, that even the most strong-willed person would have had a hard time turning it down (though probably not Sasuke).
Unfortunately for her, Naruto's will was a bit too strong for her, more so than most students in fact, and he gently held her shoulders, stopping her from going any further.
"Why?" she looked at him, perplexed.
"Sorry, but I've already got a love confession from a friend that didn't quite work out," Naruto turned around, his hands falling on over his thighs as he hunched over, "I'd rather not have a repeat in less than a week. Besides," he looked at her, "I really dislike people who lie to themselves."
"Hmm?"
"We just met like a day ago, and as you said, you fall in love too easily, right?" Naruto asked.
"But you've been here for four days already!"
"And I spent three of those days out cold while healing," Naruto corrected. "We barely even talked at the dinning hall."
"Yeah…" she conceded, nodding. "Love is sudden and burns my body so quickly."
"That's not what I meant, ya know?" Naruto said, his eyes closed into thin lines.
"Kirche!"
Both peered at the window, where the voice came from.
It was a guy, at least a year older than Naruto, with a rugged
appearance and sideburns.
Also, he was flying. In literal terms. It was the only explanation
Naruto could come up with for him being able to be standing at the
window at that height.
He decided to just roll with it and not ask any further questions.
"Oh! Styx!" Kirche said nonchalantly.
"I came by because you didn't show up at our promised time," the guy sounded quite angry at her.
"Promised time?" Naruto interrogated Kirche, an eyebrow raised.
"Then change the appointment to two hours from now, I'm quite busy right now."
The guy, Styx, looked riled up by that, "That's not the deal we ha—"
Kirche waved her wand and a literal snake of fire shot from her wand. It pounced right into Styx's face and threw him out of the window as he choked a scream.
Naruto just stared, looking completely bewildered. Disregarding the weird Fire Style technique—he'd seen fire taking shapes like dragons or even small fire beads of the size of shuriken, but the snake was a new one—what the hell was that all about?
"What an annoying owl!" she spat.
There was a moment of silence.
"Sooo…" Naruto eyed Kirche. "You gonna tell me what was that?"
"Just a friend!" she replied.
"Uh-huh," he retorted with narrowed eyes. "What was it that you said? Love is too sudden?"
"B-but right now you are the one I love the most is—"
"Kirche!"
Again, both peered at the window.
There was another guy, this time with neck-length blonde hair.
He was also floating.
Naruto decided to keep his mouth shut.
"Who is that man?!" he snapped.
"Yo!" Naruto casually waved at him.
"Tonight, I wanted you to burn up with me—"
She did the same movements with her wand from a moment ago and the poor sap fell from the window in pretty much the exact same
fashion.
"Well, that makes two," Naruto said flatly, then he turned towards her. "Another friend?"
Kirche nodded, nervously. "Y-Yeah! Another friend!"
She chuckled. And there was a moment of awkward silence.
"Anyway, kiss?" she scrambled for words.
"Kirche!"
The two looked. Again.
This time there was a baffling total of three people wrestling with each other as they tried to peer into the room.
"What are you doing?!" they shouted at the same time. "You said you didn't have a boyfriend!"
"I'm not her—"
"Manica… Ajax… Gimly!" she trailed off at the scathing 'Are-you-Serious?' look Naruto gave her. "Well, then in six hours!"
"THAT'S MORNING ALREADY!"
She shrank back, looking around her room in silence for a moment, as if scanning for something. Then…
"Flame!" she turned towards the salamander.
On command, it leaned closer toward the three uninvited guests and opened its mouth. Like Sasuke's Dragon Flame Jutsu, it opened his mouth and a massive stream of fire blasted the three folks out of the window and into the courtyard.
"That takes care of that!" Kirche said satisfied.
Naruto blinked, somewhat terrified. He looked at her, then back at the window, then back at her again.
"They…" he trailed off for a second, visibly wincing for a moment. "They're still alive, right?"
"Eh, they'll live," Kirche shrugged. "Probably."
Then, Kirche saw her chance and took it. She jumped on top of Naruto, holding him by his hands while straddling his body and running a leg across his lap. Her lips curled into a playful smirk, giggling softly, as she ran a finger along his shirtfront.
"I don't even know them," she purred. "Right now, the only person I love it~is~you~"
"W-Wait…!" There was nothing he could do but watch her slowly move her lips closer to his.
That was, until someone knocked on the door open with a hard kick, startling the two.
At first, Naruto thought it had to be one of Kirche's so-called 'friends', but as he looked up from where he was laying, his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Louise standing at the illuminated doorway. Dressed in her usual nightgown, the light framed her petite body through the thin fabric, giving him a fierce look that made even the demonic Nine-Tailed Fox seem like an adorable cub.
"Oh, Vallière!" Kirche said nonchalantly, only exacerbating the girl's anger.
"Yo!" Naruto said happily, as if nothing was happening. "Louise!"
She moved closer, seeming to radiate murderous intent from her petite frame, her steps knocking over some lamps in her way towards the bed. Every footstep rang out on the wooden floorboard.
"Kirche!" Louise shrilled.
"Don't you see we're busy, Vallière?" Kirche groaned as she got up, keeping her legs straddling Naruto's body, and waved her hand at her in a rude way.
"That's my familiar you're touching!"
Kirche shrugged, smugly. "It can't be helped! Love and fire are the destinies of the von Zerbst family! I only wish to burn in flames of love."
Louise glared at Naruto, piercing right into his soul.
"As for you," she said in a whisper, the word carrying enough poison to finish off at least an army of well-trained ninjas, "Come here."
Just as he started to walk towards her, Kirche grabbed him by the hand. "Wait!" she exclaimed. "He may be your familiar, but he's a proper human too!"
"Hey, she's right!" Naruto nodded as he folded his arms across his chest. "Who I spend time with is my own damn business!"
Louise raised her voice, "Stupid familiar! Tomorrow you'll be run through by magic of at least ten nobles! Is that what you want?!"
"Really?" Naruto did some stretches. "That's fine by me! I could use some exercise and if some guys wanna fight, then I'll kick their asses in no time!"
"Your swordsmanship might be superb, but will you be able to fend off against fireballs and whirlwinds coming from the front?" she interrogated.
"Didn't I told you to stop underestimating me?! I can fend by myself, easily!" Naruto glared at her, but Louise fought back that stare.
"Go back to my room, we'll talk later," she said calmly, pointing at the hallway with her eyes closed.
He snorted, looking away from her, "Feh! You said I had to sleep outside tonight, remember, mistress?" Louise didn't like the caustic way in which he called her that. "What's up with the sudden pity?"
"Get back to my room, right now!" she said louder, her brows twitching again.
After a moment of silence, Naruto considered it, when Kirche grabbed one of his hands.
"Please, don't go!" she exclaimed, looking at him with the eyes twinkling beautifully, with genuine tears.
"That's her usual tactic!" Louise chided at him, "Now, go!"
But he didn't move. He just stared at her.
"GET BACK TO MY ROOM, RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S FINAL!" she roared.
Naruto didn't shudder at her sudden shout, but then sighed and turned around. "I'm only doing it because you wouldn't stop whining otherwise."
"What did you just—?" Louise snarled, her fists tightening. "Grr! That stupid, insolent familiar…!"
Kirche, meanwhile just puffed her cheeks, childishly. "I'm not giving up that easily!"
Louise learned from her mistakes, at least more often than not.
This mistake she had learned very well, so she locked the door and made sure the windows remained sealed tightly shut. Given that Naruto had proven on more than one occasion to be as scurrying as a terrified dog, she had to estimate and think like a dimwitted and volatile commoner herself.
This way she would guarantee that there would be no possible escape routes available.
Once she was done with the last lock, she stepped around to confront her familiar. Throughout the whole walk, Naruto never got a good look at her eyes because they were covered by her hairlocks, but when he finally could, he felt a dread on par with the kind he used to feel when Iruka-sensei would snap at him in the academy.
Which is to say a lot. Louise simply blew her top.
"YOU'RE JUST LIKE A DOG IN HEAT, ARE YOU?!" She roared, Naruto could swear her long, curly hair spiked and swayed like the tails of the Demon Fox held prisoner inside him.
Instinctively, Naruto shrank back. "Wait!" he shouted. "I can explain!"
But Louise was too angry to listen as she walked right past him, heading for her dresser with heavy footsteps. "I saw you as a person, as a friend even. I was even willing to overlook the awful things you said before, but looks like my older sister was right all along…"
She was scrambling for something in one of the drawers from her dresser, her movements frantic and angry. A vicious smile flashed on her lips as she found what she was looking for.
"What the hell is that?"
"This?" She held up something that Naruto was fairly certain was definitely not a wand.
It appeared made of leather and since it was her holding it the way Iruka-sensei would hold a ruler for a nice bit of punishment when he pulled a prank a little too extreme for his patience, his mind immediately told him it was not good news.
"It's just a crop that I use for horseback riding." She punctuated her words with a tap against her open palm. It made a cracking sound that caused Naruto to shudder only slightly. "In simpler terms, so a birdbrained peasant like yourself can understand: it's a whip."
"W-What are you gonna do with it?" Naruto stuttered.
"Isn't it obvious?" Louise growled. "Dogs ought to be treated like dogs. And when a dog misbehaves, he requires discipline. That's what my older sister once told me, but I was too soft with you because I thought you'd be better."
"But why a whip?!" Naruto asked, looking it over. It was obviously crafted with great attention to detail, and it must have been extremely unpleasant to be smacked around with it.
"Are you deaf? I told you I was trying to be charitable with you, and yet…" She stalked closer to him, her voice turning more shaky with every step. "You insulted me, waged your tail to Zerbst of all people, and then have the nerve to talk back to me, your mistress, when you should be obediently following my orders…"
"That doesn't sound too humanitarian, you know…"
"You said shinobi endure, right?" she smirked, murderously. "Then how about you show some of that endurance to your mistress, you stupid dog?"
"Hey, who you calling dog?!"
"YOU!" she roared. "YOU STUPID DOG!"
"Can we just talk this out?!
THWACK!
A lash passed dangerously close to his head—more closely than he would've been comfortable with—narrowly missing him by a hair's breadth since he'd tilted it just at the right moment.
"Guess not!" Naruto exclaimed.
She was a wild beast, swiping at him with her whip like whirlwind and moving faster than Naruto could've anticipated, her legs on overdrive.
"PERVERTED DOG! DOG IN HEAT! HENTAI DOOOOOOOOOG!"
"WOULD… YOU… JUST… LISTEN… TO ME… FOR A SECOND!" Despite his shinobi training and countless battles, he just moved back and forth to avoid the whip, barely managing to keep his face intact.
"TALKING BACK TO ME AGAIN, WILL YOU, PERVERTED DOG?!"
Naruto slipped up for a second, and sure enough, he paid dearly for it: as he was turning around, she did the same at the worst possible moment and cracked him in the face with a powerful whiplash.
He stumbled backwards, nearly falling to the floor, and huddled against the wall, where he rubbed his face like a scared dog, a huge red mark stretching across his nose.
Louise found the parallel perfect.
Ow, ow, owwww… that thing hurts more than any punch Sakura-chan swung at me… he thought, a big teardrop rolling down one of his eyelids.
"IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT!" she shrilled, pointing the whip at him. "IT'S BECAUSE YOU WAG YOUR TAIL AT EVERY GIRL YOU JUST STUMBLE WITH LIKE A BEAST IN HEAT!"
She lowered her voice, "Acting lecherously towards that wench Zerbst of all people…" her voice was trembling with anger again, as she looked away, and then she began to shudder with fury as she hunched down, her grip on her whip tightening even more, "I won't forgive you…"
That was when Naruto narrowed his eyes. She was open.
"YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOG!"
Louise blinked, surprised, as Naruto disappeared and then appeared before her, holding her arms and forcing her to stop.
"AHH! LET GO, YOU MORON!" she demanded.
"Not until you relax!" Naruto shouted back.
Her shoulders tensed up for a second, and Naruto's glare got more intense.
"Tch!" Then, with the clicking of her tongue, her shoulder finally loosened more, and Naruto's hands drifted down.
But then, she gave it one more shot, and that's when Naruto's hand sprang up.
"Huh?" Louise blinked, and the crop was gone.
"Looking for something?" He lifted his hand and the girl was shocked. Naruto had snipped the crop out of her hand faster than thoughts could comprehend.
"Now, listen to me…" he gave the dangerous tool a curious look, before tossing it on her bed, far from reach. Louise must've figured that however fast she tried to grab it, her familiar would outpace her, so there was no point in even trying. "Whatever you think I have with Red over there, is not what you think it is…"
"Oh, yeah?" she asked, folding her hands over her chest. "Well, what I saw when I went into that woman's room seemed obvious to me, you hentai dog!"
"She pinned me to her bed! I barely know the girl!" Naruto protested. "And, honestly, I'm not even sure I'd like to be with her after tonight, did ya see the amount of dudes she was dating with?"
Louise raised an eyebrow, "You aren't lying to me, are you?"
"Why are you so angry about, anyway?" Naruto thought about it for a moment, and then, hit his palm as if hit by a realization. "Oh! I know!"
"Know what?"
"You're jealous, right?" Naruto said with a big, goofy smile. "So, that's why you asked me to go back to your room! You like me and you miss me a lot, do ya?" he laughed.
Louise response was succinct: she slammed her knee right into his privates. Hard.
"OOOF!" Naruto slumped to the ground yelping lamely as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs, his body suddenly covered in cold sweat. "Not fair… low blow… no men can protect himself… against… that…"
She didn't care, instead she slammed her feet on his head. "Me? You?! WHAT?!" she growled.
"It… was a… joke…" Naruto wheezed.
"I don't care who you go with, but it has to be someone other than her!"
"Mind to elaborate?" Naruto asked, hoping to minimize the pain.
"Kirche is from a neighboring country, Germania." Louise hissed. "Just makes it going out with her unacceptable! I can't stand Germanians!"
"That's a dumb reason to hate someone…" Naruto commented. And then he evaporated into a cloud of smoke, and Louise cried out as she almost tripped.
She was stepping onto a piece of wood.
"You gonna have to be more specific," Louise glared at him, when he heard his voice coming from her side, and saw him sitting on her bed with a smug grin. "I'm not from here, remember?"
The mage glared at him, then at the log, then back at him as if demanding for an explanation.
"Art of substitution," Naruto elaborated. "Another basic technique. All I do is grab something nearby, like that log I found outside your room, and replace myself with it. Since my chakra is so large, I can pretty much cover large distances."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Louise asked.
Naruto shrugged, "You blew me up before I could explain further."
At that, Louise kicked the wood with all her strength, but all she got was an injured foot. Naruto laughed his ass off as she jumped up and down in pain.
"You'll pay for this, peasant!"
After a moment, when the pain finally went away, she began explaining.
"My house, La Vallière, has estates on Germania's borders…"
"Bah, show-off," Naruto commented.
"WANT AN EXPLANATION OR NOT?!" Louise cleared her throat and carried on, "… So whenever a war starts, we are the first ones on the field against them. To make matters worse, right in front of us on that border is Kirche's birthplace." She gritted her teeth, "In other words, they're our sworn enemy!"
"Really?" Naruto was taken aback. "You two hate one-another just because you guys were born in different countries?"
"Didn't you listen?!" Louise snapped. "Our countries are sworn enemies…"
Naruto lowered his eyes, as he pursed his lips. "Well… I know this guy, he's called Gaara, and he was born in Sunagakure, the Village Hidden in the Sand—they were our sworn enemies for decades, especially after they attacked our village, and there was a time when I hated him too, for the way he hurt one of my comrades of Konoha," then he smiled at her. "But, all of that's in the past, and Gaara and I are pretty nice buddies, now."
Louise blushed slightly at the grin Naruto gave her. Curses, why was it always so bright?
"W-Well…" she averted her gaze. "It's nice you two could make it work, but our thing is completely different…"
"Eh? How come?"
"Two hundred years ago, Zerbst's great-great-grandfather stole my great-great-grandfather's lover."
"But that's a long time! Why are you still holding grudges over something that happened in the past? You guys aren't your great-great-grandpas to keep this rivalry that bitter!"
"It isn't just that idiot!" she barked. "We're talking wars, do you know the amount of family members we've lost in them?! Do you expect us to get over that kind of thing that easily?!"
Naruto frowned and fell silent as his mind wandered to Nagato's words from not so long ago, uttered via Yahiko's corpse.
What about my family… my friends… my village?
Is it fair that you Konoha shinobi, who once did the same to me as I have done to you be allowed to spout all of this drivel about peace and justice?
Everyone feels the same pain when losing what is precious.
You strive for justice and I for mine—ordinary men, driven by vengeance in the name of justice. And if one calls vengeance justice, such justice will breed further vengeance… and a vicious cycle of hatred will be set in motion.
I do not see people as anything other than petty creatures that will never be able to understand one another.
"I won't be stolen, relax," Naruto said. "I'm not even in love with her or anything. I've got bigger things to worry about right now."
"I can't take my chances with her, and I'll just end up shaming my ancestors if I just give it up and try to befriend her," she poured a glass of water and downed it in one gulp. "That's why I forbid you from seeing her."
"I get that it's a matter of families, but holding grudges for too long will not fix a thing!"
She seemed outraged, "What do you know?!"
"More than you do, mistress!" Naruto fired back and Louise gritted her teeth at the way in which he said it. "I've seen firsthand what happens when you hold hatred for far too long, and it ain't pretty!"
"Listen!" she pointed at him. "You're my familiar! As long as you eat from the Vallière family, you're to follow my orders!"
"Well, that just makes matters easy for me, because last time I checked all you did is cut my meals!"
"You should be thankful to me!"
"For what?! Tryingto beat the crap outta me with a whip, not even Sakura-chan did that when pissed off at me!"
"If word comes out that Kirche has a lover, then you won't survive! What I'm doing is protecting my stupid, reckless familiar from killing himself!"
"Stop underestimating me, already!" Naruto hissed. "I hate that! Let more of those stupid nobles to come at me, I can take on it! I can take on anything this stupid-ass world throws at me now that I'm back at full health!"
"You can't," Naruto looked at her in outrage, "I can't let people know about the magic you use—"
"It's ninjutsu!"
"Whatever!" she took a deep breath. "I can't let anyone know that a peasant like you can use that. Do you even know the kind of uproar that would cause around the world if word of mouth spread? A peasant who can use magic-like abilities? I need you to keep a low-profile, so if you're gonna fighting in public, it better be with your hand-to-hand skills and your swordsmanship."
"I'm not a swordsman, Louise, I'm a shinobi," Naruto said, rolling his eyes.
"When you fought Guiche—"
"It was this thing…" Naruto showed her the runes. "I'm convinced. The moment I held that sword, it was like I became an instant expert. I have no idea how the hell that happened, but it is connected to this seal."
"Hmm…" Louise hummed thoughtfully. "I've heard that some familiars are granted special powers once they're contracted. And since you're the first human familiar that I'm aware of, it's not out of the realm of possibility that your power might be instant mastery of any weapon you have in your grasp."
"It's more than that…" Naruto looked at his hand. "It isn't just skill. I became so strong despite the poison and the injuries. It's not easy to cut through brass like that unless you've got some special chakra like Sasuke does, and I did it with my pure strength."
"If it is that incredible, we should go ask Tristain's Academia."
Naruto blinked, "Academia?"
"The Royal Court's magic research agency."
"What would they do to me for research?"
"Ah… many kinds of experiments. Like… autopsies."
Naruto paused, looking at her, horrified. "You know you've got a pretty fucked-up sense of humor, Louise."
"So, you better zip it regarding that and your ninja mumbo jumbo, got that?"
Naruto rolled his eyes, "Sure, whatever."
"In a few days it'll be Void-day, I'll take you shopping," Louise said, settling down in her bed, "You'll need a sword, so I'll get you one."
"Void-day?" Naruto repeated. "What the hell is that?"
"We have a break on Void-day," she explained.
"Oh, I see," Naruto nodded. "Sundays. Of course." He stopped for a second, wondering how the other days of the week must've been called here.
"Wait," Naruto turned around… "So, you'll buy me a sword? For real?" She seemed so stingy before.
"Yeah, unless you have other weapons like the ones you used against Guiche."
"Nah, I lost them during the fight, so I'd appreciate it. I just thought that you were kind of a cheapskate, so I guess I was wrong about you, sorry."
"You should be!" Louise said, pouting, adorably. "I just can't get my familiar get used to luxury lest he become spoiled! If it's absolutely necessary, I'll buy it for you!" she smiled with pride. "I'm not so stingy, as you can see!"
"You can read my thoughts now?" Naruto chuckled, "You know, you aren't such a bad person, mistress."
This time it sounded far more pleasant than before, so she just accepted it as a win,"Of course I am not!"
"Yeah, just…" Naruto looked at the crop next to her, where it had landed before. "Just try not to hit me with that dangerous thing again, 'kay, Louise?"
"I won't if you behave."
"Yeah, sure," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "You don't have to be jealous, you might not be as stacked as Red, but you're still my friend and stuff…"
Suddenly, Louise sprang back up, fuming. She gritted her teeth as she clutched the crop.
"What…" Naruto blinked, "What did I say?"
"STUPID DOOOOOOOOOOOG!"
Naruto spent the next twenty minutes avoiding lashes as Louise went on another rampage.
Had Jiraiya been alive to see it, he probably would've commented about how his pupil could be so innocently insensitive and spoke a little too much at times.
Not far from there, the suitors Kirche had kicked out of her room had all gathered on the castle's grounds.
All of them still sported the superficial burns caused by her spell, but their pride had taken the biggest damage. Their anger was naturally directed toward the peasant they believed was responsible for the whole affair.
"Can you believe Kirche just gave us the brush-off?" the boy with the long hair asked. "And for a peasant!"
"What do we do?" another asked.
The first man whom Kirche had attacked spoke up, "It's easy! We beat the peasant and show Kirche our love that way! He might have beaten Guiche, but that was by pure luck! We're more than him and older!"
"Yes…"
"Let's show him not to mess with nobles!"