It's a Long Way to New Jerusalem

by Caduceus12

A man is given a ticket out of purgatory by his God, but his promises must be paid quickly, and his sins must be ironed out by helping others. His life will be one of servitude, but maybe, just maybe, he can find happiness in his troubles. Not really a Self-Insert, but every author puts a part of himself in his characters.

6. Bell-Beaker's Sublimation

"[…] we will see that the wolf which sneaks up on its prey, the silent killer, is as much a model for the koryos-warrior as the wolf which fights bravely in a pack in cooperation with its brothers.

But there is yet another side to the wolf, and it is purely negative. This is the wolf as outsider, the lone wolf, the wolf as vargr. The wolf belongs outside in terms of the village, and so does the novice warrior, but both are part of a pack. The lone wolf is the ultimate outsider, the pack animal outside the pack, and he becomes the metaphor for the man who has been cast out of human society."

The One-eyed God: Odin and the (Indo-)Germanic Männerbünde, Journal of Indo-European Studies Monograph No. 36, page 298. By Priscilla Kris Kershaw in 1997.

---

"Hey, how is everything going?" I sit at Nobuyuki's side, just on the lake's shore. He hands me over a fishing rod.

"I have not caught a single fish yet, but I already threaded that rod for you." The wolf-man's handsome face is more expressive than one would expect from a human perspective, he looks bored out of his mind, "You know how to fish, right?"

"Not at all." I'm truthful at heart.

"Well…here." He extends towards me a rusted can, I look inside, living worms.

"And what do I do?" I ask, because I honestly don't know.

"You're going to want to impale the bait through the hook, try to hide the metal but don't massacre the worm." He says, paying loose attention.

"…Right." Let me try.

I take my gloves off and try to grab a single worm, but multiple wiggle around, so I end up grabbing two, which does make it easier to let one fall. This little creature does not want to die, but shamefully I must inform it of its place in the cycle of life. I stab it on the bottom side, with care because it's not very large, and then slide it to the top, before stabbing it on the "head" -or rather the new bottom-.

I grab the hook with this thingy, and show it to the big, good wolf, "Does something like this work?"

He looks towards me, "Yeah, that's fine." Nice, "Let me reel in and show you how to cast a line." He contracts the thing, somehow.

Now, he stands up and puts his finger on the line, he lets the bait hang 20 or so centimeters low. Looking to the side to make sure I'm paying attention, he raises up and backwards the rod, throwing it forward as he lets his finger off the line. The bait falls into the water far away, even if not that far into the distance because of obvious reasons, and he sits down on the dirt again.

"Think you can do it?" He asks of me.

"Yeah." Stand up, let the line go just a bit.

Index finger on the trigger, raise, back.

Throw forwards, let go.

"Nice throw for a newbie." Nobuyuki congratulates me.

"Thanks."

…

"So, how's the family?" I ask, because we're going to end up waiting for a long time.

"They're…fine, we made a deal with a few friends where we take care of a cooperative farm." He sighs, "But our kid, the small one not the older one, is having problems learning anything with our homeschooling." He looks pretty worried, "We thought that it'd be fine since we already had children before, but that was decades ago, and we've sort of forgotten how to raise them. Sorry, you shouldn't worry about that."

"No, it's fine, I asked." Maybe…? "…Would you like for me to maybe try to negotiate with the teachers at the village? I think they might let a little kid in, even if they know he's a youkai, right?" I extend my offer, "I myself go there from sometimes in the mornings, just to learn a little bit." I was thinking about that fox that disguised itself as a child, in order to go to school, but then I realized that very child only was able of being there thanks to Kosuzu's kindness, I still have to give it a shot.

He flashes a wary smile, "That'd be great, thank you. If they ask, his name is Nobutada."

"No need to thank me, you're my friend, if I had to, I would die for you." He grimaces but doesn't comment. You wouldn't die for me, would you? That's fine, most people still believe that death lives, it is natural that you would fear it.

"…What about you?" He questions.

"Hm?" I inquire back.

"I don't mean regarding family, that would feel pretty insensitive of me." Yeah, I suppose, "How are things going, do you need anything?"

"…I made a friend yesterday, she's pretty funny, I like and respect her quite a lot." Other than that, "Would you help me regarding feelings?"

"What do you mean by that?" I have piqued his interest, I suppose.

"I've always had problems with identifying emotions, when I was smaller, they trained me to keep calm in stressful situations and I couldn't differentiate "fear" from "nervousness" or "happiness" to me they all felt the same." I explain, "When I met her, I felt…excited, I suppose, we fought a little bit, and I felt what I think was joy."

I wait for a second before I chasten myself, "Later on we were walking together and I egged on Kizumaru to fight for some reason I can't yet divine since he is always stalking me, I ended up heavily injured and she was screaming at me, I would say that it was out of concern but I don't even know if she was concerned, I don't even know if she sees me as a friend."

"At that very moment, when I saw my pale face reflected on her silver eyes, when I felt the warm wet blood on her sleeves, when she screamed and commanded." I hesitate once more, I suppose fearing his reaction, "I felt euphoric, much more than whenever I fight, I wanted to hold her close for eternity."

…He looks at me, his grimace returns, but he does not talk. He seems pensive in a way, trying to find a genuine answer to my strangeness. He cannot judge me like a villager or youkai, like a god or spirit, like an animal or a plant. But yet he tries.

"As a first, why did you fight Kizumaru?" He pokes around.

"…I'm telling you; I don't actually know." I think I just reacted to Moreya's call of me being weak, "Well, I suppose…she is reasonably strong you see; we were talking about my lacking strength, she was offering to show me how to use danmaku…I think that's why I told her I could handle myself with my scythe, but I don't understand why, since I could have just waited until I was able to spar with her using danmaku." I give myself a moment to think, "I was like… "Should I?", but my answer was more instinctual than well thought."

"So, you wanted to show off, but hid it behind a façade of proving your strength?" He tries to find a mold to fit my situation in.

"I suppose, I don't know." What am I supposed to say?

"What about the girl herself, why do you want to be friends with her?" Another one.

"I already knew of her before, found her honorable and respectable." I can't tell you everything, sorry.

"Where did you even meet her?" Do you need to know all about the situation to answer?

I don't want to lie, "I met her in a mountain, I know it seems like I see her as a potential lover, but I already had a girlfriend once on the outside, and I don't find this girl physically attractive in that manner."

"But doesn't this all seem like you are a teenager in love? Even that last part makes it look like you never loved her and just found her an object of lust." That…

Now I'm afraid the grimace lays on my face, "I cannot afford to fall in love with her, Doctor Nobuyuki, give me another diagnosis."

"Danmaku…a strong woman…by heaven, it was the Moriya Shrine, as you mentioned yesterday, wasn't it?" I look to the side, "By all the gods of heaven and earth, you have fallen in love with a goddess at first sight, haven't you? Even the shrine maiden is expected to find love." Stop rubbing it in, "What was her name?"

"…Her name is Moreya, but oftentimes she is called Suwako, Moriya Suwako." My face feels warm in shame.

"Not even the saleswoman? That elusive one?" Oh Lord, "I haven't read much about her, I don't like reading the Chronicle or the tengu newspaper, but isn't she the oldest and most mysterious of the three goddesses of the shrine? I heard they avoid even mentioning her, and that there is very little information on her."

"Lord, have mercy." He pats me in the back with his rough paw, "Christ, have mercy." He snickers.

"Honestly, this situation just screams "you", each time you share something of your private life it sounds like you are an eccentric court poet." I glare at him.

"I seriously can't do this Nobuyuki, how am I supposed to show myself to my God next time I pray?" He is enjoying this much more than I am, "This is not an old poem of knights having romances with princesses, if she finds out I might just wake up with a few hundred frogs inside my lungs, there is no courtly love with spirits dedicated to cursing people."

"You're like another one of my kids, I remember the first time the older one fell in love, it was with a human he met on the fields, he was horrified." He's really having fun with this, "Don't worry, maybe you'll find a nice girl in the village and settle down, or maybe you'll find out that something about her isn't all that attractive and those feelings will disappear."

I don't know what to say.

"Hey." I look at him, "Trust me, don't worry, it's not that big of a deal. You're just 18, I'm old enough to know."

"…I'll hold you to that." He's probably right, it's not like I've never hid strong feelings before. It makes sense, it's not like I was ever attached to that girl on the outside even as I broke up with her, it was that lack of interest that led us there. But can I judge this to be even close to that situation? It's not like I have ever found much love outside of God and my blood.

---

I've chosen to take his words as a warning; to not let myself go; I will not accept this so called showing of "love". Do I not only know her for a day? Did not even Judas' love falter in a single dinner? Did Paul's zeal not cease in a single revelation?

It is therefore a good way of keeping the self to maintain this sentiment under chains, lest it overreach, the dog, and backfire. The heart is perverse above all things, and unsearchable, who can know it? Shall I say that this is love based on a single sample?

"What are you looking at?" Lady Moreya says. We met together at the tram by chance, I was going up, but she was already there talking with the…receptionist? Anyways, that lady, she was sleeping when Moreya had to go back home but she was awake today, so the fact we knew each other surprised her -in fact, I would say that is an underestimation of her feelings, I hope she doesn't end up turning this into a gossip piece-.

"Something far beyond us." I answer, despite still looking at her.

"I came home to a very worried family to dissuade." Her bloodied sleeves are pinkish now, "I'd rather you don't go around acting mysterious today." Her face doesn't show any form of anger towards me at least.

"Very well, I was thinking about love, dogs, and beating things into submission." As you wanted, a lack of mystery.

"I shouldn't have asked." But you are now accursed.

Oh, by the way, "Have you eaten today?" I ask.

"No, I was thinking of asking you to get something in the village for me while we went to Satoko's." Good, you will enjoy some nice food. I slide an arm out of my backpack and open it, then pick up a wooden box I bought from Mystia.

"Here." I hand it over to her, and get Kizumaru's dagger from my belt, picking it up from the blade and putting it over the box.

"What is this?" She seems curious, looking it up and down in her hands.

"I told you about how I was going to go fishing with a friend this morning." I answer her while closing my backpack, "I caught a carp thanks to him and fried it before we met, seasoned it with a few herbs I picked up on the way, thought you might like it." Well, "Sorry for the blood, I could clean your stuff for you by the way, I don't know what made me think that was a good idea yesterday."

She looks happy about the carp, but conflicted about the blood, "It's fine, probably, I'll get new clothes soon and still have the old ones at homes, so it doesn't matter." She opens box, I push a rock with my leg over to her and sit on one myself. Since we're resting at my house for a bit, we should just sit down and take a breather, I let myself relax with my back to the wall, Moreya follows after me and sits down.

She skillfully uses the dagger as a knife, opening the carp from the parts I had already cut open, "You removed its bones?"

"And the organs too, I thought it was evident since I also removed its head and tail, did you want them for whatever reason?" I ask.

"No, I just didn't take you for a man who knows how to do that sort of thing." Fair, "Aren't you eating anything?"

"My mother taught me almost everything I needed to know about cooking, whatever I didn't know was filled in by my grandmother." I inform her, "I also ate just an hour ago or so, so don't worry."

"A family of fishermen?" She tries the most obvious assumption, probably as a way of getting her answer, knowing she might get it wrong.

"No, we were nobles, in a sense." I oblige, she takes a bite with a raised blonde eyebrow.

She swallows, "In a sense?"

"We owned almost an entire city, then one of our governments took some of those lands away while we had to sell others due to economic issues, and they also took our titles." I explain, "Our titles were restored later on even though our land was never returned, but by then we were closer to merchants and peasants, since we have all lived our childhoods on farms and business meetings." It was such a shame that our family was giving up the traditions so easily as soon as we moved to the cities, "As the heir to my line I had to be informed of everything I needed to know."

She finds that funny for some reason, "That makes your attitudes much more logical."

I ignore her probable barb, "Does it taste good?"

"It's good, a nice meaty carp, and the herbs fit." She picks up a piece with the dagger and chews on it, swallows, "I wish we had salt, would be much nicer."

"I really want some mayonnaise, but I don't know how expensive oil and eggs are here, I've mostly been eating at stands and gorging myself out on youkai." She raises both of her eyebrows, and rests her elbows on her legs, leaning forwards.

"Youkai? You've been eating youkai?" I nod, with arms crossed, "How are you alive? Why did you think that was a good idea?"

"…Well, the thought process went as follows: I'm hungry, some youkai are hungry, youkai eat humans sometimes, if I eat a youkai who wants to eat me I'll be not only showing my determination, but also consuming their ideals in a way." She almost did a spit take mid explanation and is now coughing while laughing, "Some sort of synthesis or something, we're not that different." I get up so I can go help her out as I talk, but she puts her hand up, instead I stop and sit down.

Letting out a few coughs more, she talks, "A-and you've never had any problems?"

"Not really, I figured youkai usually wouldn't be all that different from normal fleshy creatures, and probably not poisonous, so I've been eating youkai all month." I tell her, "It sometimes hits my digestion hard, but it also makes the villagers happy, that along with helping them on the fields has made me somewhat well liked, even if they don't like the fact that I hang out with youkai from time to time."

"That's normal considering how many youkai you must have eaten, but I still find the fact that you eat youkai to be crazy." She keeps downing that fish, looks like she's enjoying it just like I enjoy eating monsters, "How many do you hunt each month?"

"Well, I've only been here for a month, so the last one's count was around…22? I don't really remember." I take a moment to think, "I ended up hunting one the first day of this month, and another one after you left on the lift, 24 or so in total."

"That's actually really impressive." She seems…genuinely respectful? "I would have found it much better if you told me about this instead of running headfirst into danger, no matter who your enemy is."

"Yeah, sorry." I look to the side, and question myself, "I find it quite strange, that you didn't know about me that is."

"It's normal since I don't like to go out." She entertains me in turn.

"Why not? Isn't this land beautiful?" If I were her, I would spend my days as a wanderer.

"Though you view me as legitimate, you should remember that I truthfully do not govern this land, if I want to gaze at the views I can do so from the shrine or somewhere in the mountain." She asserts while signaling with her hands, it's a fair view of her situation if she doesn't care about the little things, "I do not have any sort of relation to the village or to the people of this land, after the Hakurei maiden beat me I thought that would change, that I might get some fun while fighting and partying like in the old days, but I've been disappointed by how tranquil everything is."

"So what? You don't find going out worth it since the "out" isn't interested in you?" It sounds quite sad.

"It's a good way to put it." She nods, softly.

I know I should not get close to her, but shouldn't friends care for each other?

"Are you alright?" I reach out vocally.

"Huh?" She's somewhat confused.

"Well…it's just…that sounds like quite the sad way of looking at things, like you've been forgotten by the world, are you alright?" I try to voice my concerns, as she keeps eating.

She snorts, "It's not like I'm not happy living with Sanae and Kanako, I have lots of fun with them, but it does get lonely at times." She takes another bite with the dagger, "I'm mostly kept out of affairs and my opinion matters little, I do get faith so I can't complain about that, but when important things happen, I'm sometimes kept in the dark, and I feel alone even when surrounded by many."

She sighs deeply, and for a moment she looks incredibly tired, "Back then I was pretty excited when I saw Reimu break into the inner sanctum, I told her we could do festivals together and that she could come to me if she had any problems with Kanako, but I have barely seen her other than in parties here and there, and at the opening of the tram." Moreya's small hands pierce one last piece of carp, she ate faster than I expected her to.

Then she gazes at me with her cold piercing eyes in that childish face, just like I was looking beyond her, now she looks beyond me. "I…suppose I have not been "alright" for a pretty long time, on the outside I had made peace with our eventual death, but now here am I, as dead as I am alive."

I grin in a well-mannered way, joking, "What are you looking at?"

"Something quite close to us, I hope." I manage to make her grin.

"Rules for me but not for thee? How tyrannical of you." I put a hand on my face in fake dismay.

"Well, my fair servant, I was thinking about happiness, frogs, and violent conquest." She lists off.

"I should have asked earlier; such matters are right up my alley." I tell her in monotone, gesturing towards her, she chuckles lightly at my antics. I sigh, though a little bit happy.

Moreya closes her eyes and rests her back on a wall, just like me.

I follow suit, and we relax together.

With eyes closed I comment once again, "Do you want to do anything? We still have hours until seven."

"Are you up for some danmaku training?" She says, her voice sounds as if it's much closer, I open my eyes, a rock has risen from the ground quite silently and Moreya sits on it just a meter away from me.

"I'm never prepared for anything, but that's fine, it'd make me happy if you taught me." I accept.

She brings her arm out, but quickly retracts it, "You might have some problems at first if we don't define how we're going to do this, so will you practice magic or fuel your danmaku with faith?"

"What is the difference?" I question, though I will most certainly choose faith.

"The catalysts for casting forms of energy, the elements of the bullets, the source of your power." She waves her hand around, "To put an example, my Sanae can use danmaku out of "belief" in Kanako and me, so a part of her power lays in her prayers to us but also the prayers villagers dedicate to her as a goddess, then another one in the inherent faith that permeates the land."

"If you do not get it." Moreya raises a finger, "This means your power will be somewhat dependent on others, but it will be easier to learn, and easier to control. Magic is much harder to learn, but your power usually "belongs" to you, you will also need to have a natural affinity to it of course."

"Well…I'm part of R1b1a1b's ancestry…mostly Celtic Iberian, Gallic and Italic…we have had a long line of branches with witches…and mage craft practitioners following a righteous path in accordance with the doctrines of faith enforced by the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, and some priests to administer…miracles." I try to explain badly, using almost more Latin and English than Japanese, "…I'll still choose to go through the "path" of the faithful."

She looks at me with narrowed eyes and a strained smile, "I'm glad, because I understood basically nothing of what you said." She holds out her arm again, "Now look at this."

A small fractal opens for a mere micro instant like a Mandelbrot or Julia set, cells within cells within cells within one stem, and dreadfully distinct. What better way to describe it than Pale Fire? It turns rapidly into a ball of light, dashing between green and blue.

"Did you see that?" I nod, "Well, we'll be practicing how to do this." Alright? "At first, you want to pray but also try to feel the presence of "faith" or your god." Very well?

I hold out my hand in imitation, but she stops me quickly, "First, I need you to be focused on everything, a good practice of how to manage this state is focusing on your internal workings." What? Wait, I think I've done something like this before.

"Like, the blood flow, digestion, that sort of thing?" I try to see if I already know how to do what she asks of me.

"Yes, exactly, Sanae had some problems at the start on that front but since she's highly talented that matter was quickly fixed, you might not have the same luck so we should start by that." Makes sense.

"I already know how to do that." I tell her.

"Everything?" She is skeptical.

"Yeah, my aunt is a more…unorthodox witch, she taught me how to avoid evil spirits and the like through permanent prayer centered around my core and the "via negativa"." I inform her poorly, "Not to mention how strong my heart is, since I've been training my body all my life, it is obvious that I should have noticed at least the flow in my carotid and subclavian arteries."

She sighs, scratching her hatless hair, "Well alright, then I want you to feel your blood and pray for success in manipulating the natural energies, do so calmly and humbly." She looks like she wants to say something more so I wait, "…I'd recommend you also do so vocally, in whatever language you want, it might help your brain associate that feeling with faith." I nod, truth be told I most likely also already know what that feeling of faith is.

I let myself fall into the depths of my body, my eyes glaze over and I let my vision go, slowly my legs lose feeling, but the veins inside throb. My forearms, my brain, my torso, they all demand oxygen lowly and are slowly administered what they ask. My mouth opens, I position my arm, and the warm air comes in as I inhale.

"Sennor eternamente presente, e todopoderoso Dio. Sancto Sancto Sancto, Dio de los huestes çelestiales. Aqueste he mi humilde ruego, de aqueste sirviente mas siempre fiel en fechos e a la tua eglesia de la que so disçiplo, que me aiudes en fazer batalla iunto la honradera sennora Moreya."

A jolt of soft ticklish sensations spreads from my brain to my shoulders, they turn into shivers under my skin, beyond my nerves.

"Padre nuestro, que estas en los cielos, santificado sea tu nombre

Vengase a nosotros tu Reino, hágase tu voluntad en la tierra así en la Tierra como en el Cielo.

El pan nuestro de cada día dánosle hoy, y perdónanos nuestras deudas, así como nosotros perdonamos a nuestros deudores.

Y no nos dejes caer en la tentación, más libranos del mal.

Amen."

Warmth over my hand wakes my touch, I let my vision concentrate, a white vortex within a white vortex spins eternally. It is smaller than I anticipated, but it most likely will grow as I train.

"Nice job." Moreya congratulates me, "You sure speak a lot of languages, huh?"

I grin, trying to maintain that vortex even as I talk, "Truthfully those two weren't such different languages, just the same language in different instances of time, the old version makes for good mysticism thanks to the lenga d'òc, it's the tongue that helped me the most when informing myself about magic." I look at that tangible piece of energy, "Is there a way to make it…bigger?"

"You did catch that feeling as I told you, right?" She makes sure.

"Yeah, what about it?" I confirm quickly.

"Try to find it and push that feeling to your fingertips, then into the bullet, but be careful not to push it beyond." Alright.

From my spine, slight trembles, I try to find the border of that shiver and then constantly search for the next border. From my shoulders to my elbows, from my elbows to my forearms, then onto my knuckles. The feeling on the tip of my fingers is almost insignificant, but I give it one small push and the vortex turns into an orb, growing larger faster while I push it further beyond.

"You've got a nice control, even if you will certainly need practice." She praises, but comments in a wistful tone, "You must really love your god."

"My God, who is called the anointed one, came from beyond the material third dimension, and became a human, just to sacrifice himself on an altar and pay for everyone's sins." I offer my piece advice towards her, "You pagan gods have always enjoyed terror too much…love goes a long way when paired with harsh and vengeful justice, some do believe such actions to still be inhumane or egocentric…but the imitation of the divine is certainly not human at all."

I look towards the rock door, we should go soon, "I honestly…cannot hope that you find more followers, it is forbidden for me, but I'll help in any way so that you may be loved too, because all who know that loving charity know God."

"I'm glad I chose a kind psychopath like you as my partner in crime after such a long time of loneliness!" She laughs at my expense I think, mocking me with conflicting words, "Wishing for both my salvation and my damnation, aren't you a treat?"

I take it, bowing with a somewhat sarcastic smile, "Why thank you for your gracious words, my lady, shall we go now?"

"Don't take my words badly, and have some patience, now…come here." She signals with her hand and a gentler smile to move forward, and I lean in, "Then, don't be scared and stand very still, alright?" I do not move or talk, looking into her eyes.

She puts her hand carefully on my bearded cheek, it is warm. Slowly out of her sleeve comes a serpent, white and red in appearance, but I trust her. The serpent slides behind my neck, and before my throat, constricting slightly, I fight the urge to grab the dagger in Moreya's hand and slaughter the thing.

Moreya seems satisfied with my actions, "Close your eyes." She commands again, and I do so. Soon enough I feel movement around me, and another hand pulls along my shirt's neck together with the serpent which slides inside, it is low enough to feel the air. The hand moves but the serpent stays, and when it returns it comes with a slimy feeling that makes me forget that scaly thing, her hand and that slime press just on my heart and that texture leaves instantly, both hands following soon after.

"You may open them now." I do so, she stands pleased with crossed arms, nothing of the strange ritual that just occurred remains.

"…What was that for?" I seriously need an answer.

"I wanted to make one last test, with that serpent so close to being able to kill you, I find your loyalty sufficient." She grins, "But I also granted for you a blessing, it will help you feel energies within your body to help you make prayers, those strange miracles of yours, and danmaku." Woah, "Try creating a bullet now."

I try again, and the feeling is less of a tremor, and more of a "line". It moves swiftly like a well-oiled mechanism, like a sharpened knife piercing flesh; it is much easier to direct, but now there are parts where I can clearly not move that energy. I push along the way, from my brain into my fingers and out. A white bullet sprouts and goes beyond, flying away and exploding on the stone ceiling, leaving a hole.

"…Well, it sure does work." Says Moreya with a wry smile, watching small pebbles fall over me and my shortish hair, before closing the roof with her powers.

I sigh, "Should we go now, then?"

"I don't know, why do you want to go already?" She says, making a rocking chair out of rock, Moreya then rocks herself gently. That is a lot of rocks, also, are you a grandma? Well…whatever.

"My youkai friend is having problems teaching his kid, I told him I'd ask the temple school and see if they could let the poor child attend classes." I answer her, she looks at me with a pretty neutral stare while swaying, "I could show you around and tell you my plans for the village, then we could check your outfit out and go eat dinner."

"…Ugh, sure." The rocker turns into a normal chair, she stands up and I follow suit, "Lead the way."

We step towards the door, and I slide the giant rock to the side, stepping out. From my "house" -I wouldn't call it a home knowing it is basically a tomb- to the road there is a small patch of foliage and dry mud, I make a jump and then a stride forward, Moreya simply takes a single jump and covers that distance.

And so, we sta-

"Hey, wait a moment." I look back towards her, she signals with her finger to come down, "Squat."

I would give her a disapproving look for wanting to get on my shoulders again, but whatever. I look forwards and bend my knees, though she surprises me by jumping on my neck, which isn't that big of a deal since she is quite light, but she is laughing while I try to not fall into the ground.

When I stabilize myself and stand up, I glare up at her and speak, "Lady Moreya, next time you try anything like that I'm throwing you like a sack of potatoes."

Her laughter turns awkward, "Oh, come on, it was just a joke!" Well, I'm not joking, "Don't look at me like that!" I grab her thighs from under and slightly push upwards, Moreya holds tight onto my head and tenses up, I let her down while snickering.

"The only reason I won't do it is because you can just fly." I justify.

"And because I'll make you clean the dirt from my clothes?" Yes, that too.

"Sure, sure." I hold her legs and start walking.

"I'll have my revenge." She pinches my cheeks and pulls.

"For shomshing you shtarted?" I question.

"Yep!" She lets go, finally.

Step by step, we get closer, the dirt crunches underfoot yet again. Day comes and night arrives, the earth grows older, and blows the wind even to the mountains.

The land looks peaceful, but I feel unsettled by that silence, by that peace. The day and night say "When will our time come?", the earth asks "When will my days be cut?", the wind and snow covered mountains all cry out "When will our whistling die?". I cannot answer them, shall these plains forever stay pristine? Shall these mountains remain well-kept? Shall the clouds in the sky and the starts of the night stay in good health?

I am most likely worrying about that which I should not worry about, but I can't help but ask myself, "Until when?"

"…Santiago, I want to know something first." Moreya interjects my thinking as I walk, we are almost there.

"What is it?" I inquire.

"What are your plans for the village?" It seems our wonderings did not wander away far from each other, nor did she let us walk far before inquiring.

"A sovereign order, probably." It's a good idea, contesting the power within the village and the very land, but without disparaging the balances. Neither the Buddhists nor the Confucians are shamed, so why would I be the exception?

"A what?" She's confused, apparently.

"A sovereign order…I'm basing the idea in a sort of fellowship we have for my…faith." It's hard to explain ecclesiastical terms in Japanese, "They used to call themselves the Order of Knights of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem…and were the men that created a tradition based on building places of healing through the old west for the poor and needy." I think I botched the name, but it should be understandable enough, "They later on held land as a country, and started naming themselves "Sovereign"; I want to try to follow their steps here, provide healing and the like for free, and offer food for free in certain days."

"And the sovereignty too." She does not let that go.

"Certainly, but I don't want the "order ruling over the government" part, it will just be a means to keep power." I explain my intent, "An army that doubles as a charitable group, if you will; I was thinking that you could be part of the "regnant" section of that administrative body, but it might cause conflict with Yasakatome, so I don't know what to say." I am certainly tentative in that part of the plan.

"Don't you think that you're dreaming too big?" She understandably finds my assurance strange.

"There is no such thing, I will dream, and I will fight, the only way my ways will cease to be active is through death." But I affirm, "Even then the village is clearly weak, and the villagers love being led around by new outsider fads, if I demonstrate this one idea to be more than a fad, I will have overcome all those who came before me."

"And what then? What will happen if you succeed?" She looks at me from up there.

"Then maybe we could push for donations, fund schools with what little money we'll have, maybe get farmland." Literacy and information should be one of the biggest concerns along with money, "Another order, another administrative arm, whatever." I list my ideas on starting such thing, "We build schools and compete against the temple school years in the future, maybe entice teachers to help us through higher pays." Then, "We could form a sort of nobility and get people to pay taxes, but also swear oaths of poverty to ward off overly ambitious people."

"It sounds like a good idea if it does work out…but why?" The question of the decade.

"Because I can neither fight for everyone, nor heal everyone, nor teach everyone." I say, "We'll need to train people to defend themselves, and create an alternative camp for farming, unlike the ones used these days." I swallow for a moment, and stay in silence as we step through the gate and into the village, "I want to find a way to serve others without ignoring others' suffering, you get that, right?"

"…If I wanted to be the monarch of the village, even if it might upset Kanako a little, would you support me?" She soon after follows, though in whispered voice now that we are inside, "No, of course you would support me, but how far?"

"To war and back if we need to." I answer.

"You know, you shouldn't joke about that." She warns, but it is futile.

"I am not joking, if we needed to go to war, I would follow you to the battlefield, are you defeated already? Even before we come to blows?" I goad her.

"…I'll keep that in mind." She does not take it.

This house…then the mansion…through this corner.

"Is that the school?" She points to the building.

"Yes, do you want to stay outside? It'll most likely be a pretty boring conversation." I give her the option, because I honestly don't think Keine will care all that much.

"I'd rather not be treated like a child when I'm thousands of years older than you." She takes offense to my words and denies it.

I sigh with a smile; I'm sighing a lot today too. Walking to the main door I open it and get in with care of not breaking Moreya's forehead, then remove my boots quickly, "Whatever you want."

Keine is at the front desk, "Focalor?" She narrows her eyes at Moreya.

I bow lightly, "Good afternoon, miss Keine, I had a few questions to ask." I walk up to her.

"…What is it?" Maybe she does care.

"I have a youkai friend, you see, and his kid is having trouble learning what they teach him at home." I narrate once more, gesturing with my hands, "We were wondering if he could…attend classes, you know? With the human kids." I appeal, "We can assure you that he will do no wrong, my friend's family is very well mannered and human-like, though they are fearsome they are also gentle, and have always aided me despite being a human."

Keine smiles a bittersweet smile, "I'm sorry…I don't think the school board or anyone on the village would see that as acceptable." Damn, "…But perhaps I could sneak a book or two for you? Come tomorrow morning and I'll see what I can do." God be praised; she does a shushing motion, "By the way, good afternoon miss Moriya, it's been a while, I didn't know you two knew each other."

"Thank you Keine!" I express my gratitude.

I was going to keep talking but the mountain spirit cuts in, "Yes, I met young Focalor here while he was prowling through my house like a thief on accident, but I have been enjoying his friendship since yesterday." Keine doesn't look very amused, "I tell you; he has been quite the gentleman, we even ate together today." Moreya's childish yet mature laugh softly echoes.

I laugh instead a fake laugh, Keine doesn't like her for some reason, "Lady Moreya, could you please not embarrass me in front of my friends?" So, I think we should leave quickly, "Anyways, thank you again, I'll come tomorrow as soon as I'm done with the fields." I go back and put my boots, neither too quickly nor too slowly, bow and get out.

Through this corner…to the mansion…the avenue.

"Do you know why Keine dislikes you so much?" I ask Moreya, glancing upwards, "Do you two have some sort of story together or something?"

"No, we've been cordial before, but isn't the reason for that displeasure quite clear?" It probably would be if I thought for a minute, but if you already know why would you ask me? "Also, already on a first name basis?"

"I'd rather just hear your thoughts first." Just tell me why.

"You see, Keine is the protector of the village, you included." I know that, "Not only that, you two also seem to be on good terms." She goes on, trying to draw me to a conclusion, "In turn I am a strange country bumpkin curse goddess, who's getting real close to you out of nowhere, she is just worried about you." Well, if you put it like that.

"If you think of it that way, she's even most likely wary because she has connections to the Hieda, they write the Chronicle and Keine probably has an unedited version." It would make sense, "She might think that she knows something that I don't." I scratch my chin, "I…I'll just explain to her that we met by chance, and that everything is fine."

"You should, even if her reaction was funny, I don't think it is a good idea to ignore it." She rests on my head, "I certainly don't care about her, but you apparently do."

In silence I take step after step, I don't walk quickly so that Moreya can check the streets as we walk, through alleyways and shortcuts.

---

I bring out my clock, V and LII, already evening.

"We should go check on Satoko, it's over five." I inform Moreya, she hasn't commented on the state of the village for a while, so we aren't being constructive or anything anymore anyways. Martha, Martha, merimnas.

"Yeah, that's fine, I already got the gist of why you want things fixed anyways after the 12th homeless man." Her voice is monotone, I don't know whether it is because of boredom or because of muted sorrow, I'd rather not ask.

We aren't that far, just around the corner, I made sure to end the route near enough so as to not end up wasting time. I watch walled houses and closed stores, dotted with rundown buildings in their midst, some houses dare stand, but it is clear that this village is no place to live in. So close to the outside world, yet so far.

"We're here." She points to the store before I identify it.

I assent, "Yes." We're here because we're here, at least it's not the battle of Somme or something. I open the door with an open mouth and a smile in my lips.

"Good evening, miss Satoko." I greet, Satoko is behind the counter, sitting on a stool with a book in front. It appears to be a crossword magazine. She looks up, and her creasing skin accentuates her features.

"Oh, good evening, welcome back." She smiles. I walk close and plant two kisses on her cheeks, she likes it for some reason, so I keep doing it, it is what I am accustomed to anyways when meeting people that aren't permanently present in my life.

"We're here to check on the clothing." Says Moreya, beating me to the punch.

Satoko observes the sleeves dotted with old blood but dismisses any questions, "Yes, yes, the clothing, please give me a moment." She nods in that characteristic way I've seen before and slowly gets up from the stool with a grunt, walking to the back.

"Hey, let me get down, since we're going to have to do this sooner or later." Sure, I nod and crouch while holding onto her thighs, when we're close enough to the ground I lift her a little and she jumps down. She turns back at me.

"Sooo~ Where are we going to eat?" She says playfully looking up with silver eyes, and resting her back on the counter, she's tall enough to see over it but not enough to sit on it. It looks like Satoko might take some time, so maybe it's a good time to talk about it.

"Do you want to go anywhere in specific that we might have seen?" I question instead.

"I don't know, you choose." She says in response, I don't care much about bringing her to a restaurant of her liking, but if she's going to make it this simple for me…

"Would a stall be alright? I know this girl who manages one on the side of the road, her food is great." Mystia will probably find it enjoyable even, since I'll be paying twice as much as I usually do, and maybe even more considering the fact that I make an effort to not waste money.

"Sure, as long as you're sure about the food being tasty." She shows a toothy smile. Simple standards and hopefully low expectations will make you believe Mystia deserves a Michelin star.

"It certainly will not disappoint, or so I think. I've eaten there once almost every day." I tell her, to reinforce my certainty.

"That talks more about your palate than it does about the cook." She smirks mischievously, "What's next? You're gonna talk about how nice youkai taste?"

"I'll make a nice meal one day and you'll eat it only to find later that it was a squirrel or something like that." I promise, "Mark my words." Someone opens the door behind the counter.

Moreya talks for a last moment, "What was it that you told me yesterday?" Her smirk grows as she walks closer to me, to look towards the counter, "I will take it without excuse." And so, comes in Satoko, with a pile of whiteish textiles of certainly cheap appearance, the little lady moves away, and the white cloth falls upon the light brown pristine wood.

She separates it with great care, placing each individual piece to the side, "This here…please take a look at it." She opens her arms presenting it.

The clothing is as a kannushi's -highly clerical in appearance-, though taking much inspiration from Moreya's current outfit in parts like the sleeves and the skirt, which are slightly longer -or in the case of the skirt much longer- in this new dress; it is also dotted with what looks like positions for many frog embroideries, and many "sketches" for decorative flowers of similar style.

"Do you have divider? I should try it on even if it's not finished, if you don't, I would appreciate it if you instead let me change in the back." Says Moreya, putting her arms on the counter and looking over as best as she can.

"Yes, miss Asoku, please come right here." Satoko signals behind the draperies by waving her hand, crouching slowly and bringing out a wooden divider of oriental character then setting it up, just as Moreya goes by the right side and opens the little door separating the counter from the rest of the store.

I decide to keep an eye on the door instead, sitting on the wood, and letting them do their things.

"Lemme strip first." Lady Moreya, have some decency.

Anyways, people don't usually come to this place, which is shameful since most clothing is almost as expensive in the markets. I still think I should look out in case someone comes in and doesn't know what's happening.

"This part goes first miss Asoku…"

The excuses often range around things like that, how expensive it is and how much money they'll waste. I find my wastage of money last month to be a waste since I don't use other clothing all that much, my work clothes were specifically made so that I didn't end up with my feet crushed under heavy machinery, nor with an amputated arm or leg, the clothes I keep on my backpack are pretty useless until my uniform gets dirty enough.

"…Can you help me with this knot? I think I can't reach it…"

It doesn't even get that dirty for what it is, a bright orange reflective jacket, and my pants are black other than in their very own reflective stripes, to bury the hatchet I plan on never cleaning my boots unless they end up covered in guts or something, so I don't have to buy shoes.

"…If you do this, you can shorten the sleeves and tie this part…"

I bite my finger.

So why is the market so stifled? Why is innovation and creativity so muffled and hidden behind unpopular roads? Is it because of progress, that may give humans the capacity to follow the same route they followed outside? Genuine economic problems and shortages that don't allow for investments? Are people told that such things are foolish and have therefore created a very primitivistic culture that never wanders from the concept of "village" by itself? I don't know, and I can't know, but it certainly eats me from the inside.

"Hey, Focalor." I look back to Moreya, "What do you think?"

She's wearing the robes, they are as said very similar to her normal ones, but they are certainly "formal". The biggest characteristic to denote that is how much skin they cover, and how much decorations they are going to hold, since one can see the seams.

"…I think it's too modern." My bite intensifies, that cloth does not have the "spirit". It is etymologically void, it lacks eteos, it is close but not enough, and not far away for it to be new. It is not bad, but I do not see it as fitting.

"What do you propose then?" She counters after a moment of observation.

"…Maybe something much older like the people of straw-rope pattern, do you know who I'm talking about? You've probably lived enough to have met them; I think they themselves lived around your land a few years before you lost it." The Jomon would fit her era as ancestors of her followers, but I still need to keep her age vague enough, "Then…maybe fit them as shimenawa, it would be much easier to decorate them with shide, also much more space to use iron in."

I release my clenching jaw, and remove a strap to bring out a wolf youkai skin from my backpack, "I was thinking of selling this one today or tomorrow as always, but maybe we could use this as decoration to fit the thematic?"

"Never mind the fact that you know of a people so old I thought everyone forgot about them, do you realize how close that would look to how Kanako dresses?" That's true…

But. "That…does not matter, you should still be given some manner of respect." I bite finger yet again, "We can put the wolf fur in every hole of this dress, on the sleeves and neck, and on the skirt." I inhale, though still letting my mind fly with ideas, "Then with the iron included in the details it would look far too different to be called a "copy", too close to your other outfit for it to be called "unfitting", too far away from your usual appearance for it to be called "unoriginal"."

Moreya seems slightly concerned about offending her friend at the shrine, but the idea also appears to appeal to her, "That…does sound pretty good, do you think you can do it, Satoko?"

The skilled woman has been paying close attention as always, she is quite perceptive but always says nothing of what she hears, "It would take me some time, but yes, I can do it."

"What about yesterday's cloth? Where does that fit?" I interject, "Also, whatever remains of the skin, you can keep it. My client doesn't take them if they aren't whole."

"It would be hard to implement it on the outside, but I could maybe use it for the inner parts of the vest and the torso…" She seems to open up to any disagreements but finds none.

"Then I think that's it right? Lady Asoku, where should the straw-ropes go?" I look back at her in confirmation.

"I think here one the waist." She traces a line, "And then on the shoulders here." She does a circle from shoulder and unto the armpit, entirely circling it, "Then on the sleeves, maybe it could function as a way to narrow them." Moreya grabs onto them with her hands and swings them around.

"If you would do them in the style of shimenawa, I will certainly pay extra, miss Satoko." I think that design would look great, it would still envision the rural and "antique" appearance we are trying to seek while showing a dignified appearance.

"Is that all?" Asks the seamstress.

"Yes, that is all." Confirms the lady, with firm voice.

"Well, then…you should change, and then come back in two weeks if you want to see how things are going." Says Satoko with a smile. Moreya goes behind the divider once again, so I turn back again likewise.

"How many months will it take?" I ask, I'll have until then to make more money and acquire power to pay for this, "Also, how much money do you think you'll need?"

"For time…because you have already provided some of the materials, maybe four months or so?" Damn, that's a pretty long time, "If any of you could come and leave this dress or some copy of it, it'll probably take much less, like one or two months." We'll definitely do that, "And for costs it's also a similar situation since I don't have to buy as many things, but we'll be looking at around 30000 to 50000 mon…"

I nod, with some hesitation, "I'll come as soon as I can then."

Moreya comes out dressed in her usual outfit and hands over the blank one, that was quick compared to how slowly she put it on, "No need, I will be here tomorrow by morning."

"Sure." I concede, if she wants to come herself better for me, "Will you need the money now?" I ask with my back turned but my head still looking at the counter.

"No, no, don't worry dear." She waves me off, "Take your time and get a note or two, put the money in different bags if you want, I know that's a lot of money."

Frog woman jumps over the counter, and starts walking towards the door, the tailor chuckles softly.

"Well, we're off." I wave, Satoko waves back. Lots of waving too lately but that's good, because unlike sighing, it means I'm making friends.

I stride and then walk behind Moreya, she opens the door as I push it over her, then when we're outside I close it with care.

"What hour is it?" She asks, looking towards me and walking backwards to the street, before standing to the side so she doesn't get run over by some pedestrian.

I walk to her side and bring out my clock, VI and XXXIV, "It's six, but by the time we arrive it'll be seven."

"Well, we better get going then." It looks like she's getting accustomed to the layout, since now she's walking before me.

Of course, I follow.

"Say, what is your favorite type of food? We've talked about some heavy subjects but not about simple ones." I ask her as we march.

"Hmm…sour food is kinda nice sometimes." Sour? "But I also like sweets and salty food, so it's not like I care that much about flavor."

"So, no actual preferences?" That's what it sounds to me.

"It's not like that either…I do like a nice soup." Soup is always nice, I need to see if I can make some broth from youkai bones and the like, "I usually just enjoy everything a little bit...I don't like Chinese food or food that's too spicy, but sometimes they do go hand in hand." I don't think I've ever had Chinese food, so I'll trust her impression, "I also don't like when people eat frogs, that's just so cruel." Frogs taste kind of good… "I'd say I like traditional homemade meals, or meals that "remind me of home" in short. What about you?"

"Hmmm…" Well, meals that remind me of home, "I suppose I also like homemade meals, but I'm not a big fan of sweets, they make me vomit." It was a good thing for me as a child, never had to go to the dentist, "I like spicy food though, and spicy food when combined with sweetness is great, but I quite doubt I've ever tasted Chinese food."

Well, I'm quite the picky eater now that I think about it, "I also don't like soup overall, but I do consume some from time to time, since it's such a simple thing to make." And about traditional food… "I haven't actually tried that much traditional Japanese food other than in small stalls and the like, what I've had here in restaurants was mostly just taken from Portuguese cuisine anyways, but I do love my national cuisine." We take a shortcut.

The people are tied to the land, and I will never forget La Mancha, "I'll make some baked rice for you one of these days, or maybe some gachas if I get the ingredients, I don't think there's a translation for that last one, but they are my favorite dishes."

She looks back while walking, this is one of the alleyways I showed her, "Then I'll have to brush up my cooking skills and make something too."

"Like what?" I poke and see if I can get some ideas on what to eat.

She grins a grin between mischievous and smug, "Maybe grasshoppers with sweet soy sauce for a snack, I'm sure that you'll like it, knowing your usual diet." Ew, "What's up with that grimace? I'll let you know that it's actually tasty, or maybe you'd like some roasted monkey for dinner? It was really popular during my rule." She snickers while looking at my reactions.

"Here I was trying to be nice and you hit me with a monkey and some grasshoppers for both entrant and dessert." I put on my most buried underfoot deadpan.

"Alright, you can skip the monkey, but I swear that the grasshoppers are actually good." She jumps with a spring in her step, "They didn't reach as much popularity as the monkey and some other weird meats, but I think you'll like them, they aren't all that sweet." The sweetness is not my main concern, but rather the akridophagia, "Is your food more on the snack side of things, or on the meal side?"

"They are both meals for big families, for peasants, we put them on the middle of the table, and you get a portion." I explain, "Baked rice is…well…baked rice, we do put meat and vegetables on it, but it is a rarish meal worth of its status as something that would be served during days of celebration…or whenever you want if you had the money back in the day." Otherwise, "Gachas are a sort of…porridge? No, that's wrong…well it's somewhat of a paste but it is also not incredibly dense…they are made of grass pea flour, olive oil…sometimes pig fat and a few more ingredients, you usually eat them with bread."

"That does sound like peasant food…" It appears that we are of the same opinion towards each other's cuisine.

"You also shouldn't eat too much of it; it causes permanent nerve issues." It's a shame, because I really like the flavor.

"Can you cook something that won't leave me brain dead?" It's her turn to grimace as I hail the guard, and we open the door at the same time.

I suppose I can spare her, "Well, I could always just make some roasted goat or sheep if I ever have the money to do so, I hope I don't get dog meat instead."

"…I'm not going to comment on that." You do well, Moreya, you do well.

I look to the heavens as we walk, the skies are clear and merry, but the blackened clouds glower angrily in the distance. This too shall pass, like we are passing by my house. I really need to get an actual home; I slept on the ground yesterday, and rock is not what I define as "the epitome of comfort".

If it rains, I might actually have to clean my boots later tomorrow too…

"Hey, do you think it'll rain?" I ask the frog, because frog.

She looks up as we get into the forest, "Yeah, at night maybe." Well, whatever.

"To the right." I say, waltzing into the youkai trail with Moreya following closely, "Could you make a stone path between my house and the road so that I don't end up covered in mud tomorrow?" I look at her at my side.

"Yeah, sure, after we eat." She's amused if an unladylike snort is to signal anything, but apparently relents to my request quite quickly. It's not like she has anything to lose by doing it, and I certainly have patience, "But tomorrow you'll run some errands for me in the evening." Sure, whatever.

"Alright. You see that red lantern? That's the stand." I point towards it in the distance, it's quite noticeable at night, when you aren't blind.

"You're taking me to a "red lantern"?" She shows clear signs of fake skepticism, I'm afraid it's terminal.

"You know what I meant." I tell her, but she holds a hand over her chest dramatically as if betrayed, "I'll eat the big scary youkai if you're that afraid, don't worry, the lamprey won't devour you."

"Lamprey looks so icky and weird though~" Jokingly intones the millenarian otherworldly creature in playful singsong.

"It's good, trust me." I reassure her and get on a seat when we're within reach, extending a hand towards her so she has some sort of support getting up, "Hey Mystia, how is business going?" Moreya sits at my side, making herself comfortable quite quickly.

She's sharpening a knife with a few cuts of meat laid on a cutting board to the side, softly humming but not singing yet, "Hey, today has actually…" She turns towards us, "A goddess and a southern barbarian walk into a youkai bar…what kind of bad joke is this?" Come on, keep talking about business, I like money.

"The good kind, so, business?" I forcefully reinsert my main interests.

"Business was pretty good today since a lot of people came to eat here, there was this dude from the village that wandered in blind, he didn't want eels because he had trauma related to them or something and knew that they were not going to fix his vision, but he did eat a sizeable amount of the wolf meat you gave me for some reason." She explains while going back to sharpening her knife, "So sorry if you came for that, but otherwise, are you going to order something or did you two come to talk?"

I look at Moreya, but she looks at me and signals for me to order with her head, "I'll have a plate of those chicken wings I liked last time, a little bit of rice with some tuna sashimi…and a small portion of that one seaweed salad you served me the other day, I forgot what it was called." She gives me a thumbs up, what I like the most about this Lorelei is how flexible she is when taking orders.

"I'm all out of tuna, is salmon alright?" I nod as she looks at me, and so Mystia follows after quickly while opening cabinets, "And the lady?"

"I'll have the same as him." I think I'm going to have to intervene.

"I know I usually tell you to make everything as spicy as possible, but forget the spice for today, please." I tell her, because I might have to eat a double order of spicy chicken if she doesn't, luckily for me she nods with a muted "sure".

"…Anything else?" We should probably have something else, just for fun.

"A plate of skewered lamprey, and two cups of sake." I finish up the order as she places everything on the grill and brings out two small bowls for the rice, with two cups swiftly being placed on a side counter, before making the skewers and putting them to cook at last. "Hey, since I'm a recurring customer I hope we can get some confidentiality here." She looks towards me in curious manner, with a raised eyebrow, but nods once again before serving our sake from a white bottle in one of her cupboards and placing it before us.

I pass one cup to Moreya, "Here, I'm not the biggest fan of eastern drinks, but this sake is alright."

She takes it in hand and raises it to take a sip, then swallows the rest at once, "Yeah, this one is nice and soft, tastes like flowers and apples." It just tastes like alcohol to me, but maybe I'm just uninitiated on the art of oriental snobbery.

"Sure, I just like western drinks more, I'd rather have cup of wine." I tell her, getting up and reaching for the sake bottle, bringing it to the wooden counter. I serve her another cup and then place the bottle to the side.

"You do know that we have wine here, right?" She confirms and counters at the same time, now taking much smaller sips.

"Yes, but we are not talking about the same type of wine, a good old Jerez de la Frontera has never failed me." I explain myself, "I doubt I'll ever taste it again though, so I have to make amends with the local stuff." Mystia places two bowls of steaming rice with chopsticks sticking out, two plates with sashimi and two with seaweed on the counter in quick succession, I distribute it evenly between us and Moreya mutters a faint thank you.

I'm glad I learned how to use chopsticks quickly, my mother wanted to teach me how to handle them as a kid, but there never was a chance to do so.

"So…faith." Nice going, Genghis.

"Faith." She repeats while placing a piece of salmon on the rice and eating it all together, good idea, I follow her lead.

"I told you some things about my God, but I want to know about how things were for you before, you know…" I sort of question.

"Before Kanako took over?" I nod, "Well, think of it like if someone you knew worshipped a king." I was already thinking of it like that, but I want some substance, "People went to pray to me physically, offerings were sort of like complementary taxes, and I didn't really need priests."

"You just walked around placing curses and blessing people?" I mean, that doesn't sound that bad for a daily life. I take a big gulp to start, then refill the cup.

"Yes, I wasn't interested in expanding beyond the lake of Suwa and the villages surrounding it, so I could just walk and do everything without exhausting myself." She rests her elbows on the counter, "If I didn't want to go somewhere or one of my followers was a merchant who wanted to go west, I could just send one of the local Mishaguji to do my bidding, since they are almost an extension of myself."

"No doctrine or anything?" She looks unsure of what I mean, "Like, did your followers have to follow certain rules in specific?"

"…No, not really, people did have to follow laws, but they weren't required to do anything outside of my rule." She takes some more rice, as do I.

Mystia puts the plate of skewers before us, which I lower and put between us, she then hands me over the two plates of chicken wings when after seeing that I've stood up to grab what has been left there.

I give Moreya a plate, "You should have something else before the lamprey, it has a strong taste." I take one myself and bite a meaty section off the skewer, it is fishy but slightly sweet because of the sauce Mystia put on them, these eels are very mushy and leave a strangely pleasing aftertaste -I find it pleasing at least-, they overall remind me of oily fishes.

The little lady observes me as I eat it while she eats a chicken wing herself, and then looks at the skewers, all this has got me wondering something.

"Have you never eaten eel?" There's no way, right?

"…I've eaten eel, just not on many occasions, and certainly not lamprey." She begrudgingly admits.

I take another sip of sake, "Well, go ahead, what are you waiting for?"

She takes a bite as big as her mouth allows, with somewhat a feral holy fervor. She passes some of it from one cheek to another and tastes it for a longer time than she should.

"It tastes a lot like mackerel, I like it." She rests her elbows once again and smiles at me.

"Told you." I revel in the food, I want to talk, but I really like the silent company we keep between bites. I eat some rice and salmon, and more sake.

"…What can you tell me about your faith?" Where is that coming from? "You said you told me some things, but they were really minimal, and at most were your musings." I suppose you're right, "I'm curious, you act like you can never be separated from your God or as if you will never see me as a goddess, but you also keep a very respectful tone." Well…

"I…just don't want to actively harm others who I find undeserving of punishment, so I usually don't talk much about it." She stays silent as I explain, watching intently and eating; I sigh. I get my backpack and put it on my lap, then open it and bring out my Bible, "This is our holy "book", in truth it is a collection of texts." She signals for me to continue, "We believe in one God, Deus Pater, and his only begotten son Iesus, who is called Christus, also God."

"I believe I might have heard of your people when talking to my Sanae, but it reminds me of something. Were you perhaps present here in these lands a few hundred years ago?" She questions…she probably has a really good memory, "There were some men and women who when praying often cried out to "Deus" back then."

"Yes, you probably heard the prayers of some converts during those days." I affirm, "Deus Pater means "God the Father", but essentially also means "Sky Father"," I explain, "we lack in essence an objective name for him outside of a few traditional ones."

"What do you mean by that?" She leans closer. I take another sip and then refill the cup yet again.

"Our God takes many names during his conquests, for the Canaanites El, for the Romans Deus, for the Greeks Theos." I number shortly, "I could go on and on, but they all tend to mean the same thing: "God"." I point out, "Sometimes He is also identified through names of local so-called gods, but other than that we can only point to the son for a name, "Jesus", and to some strange ways of referring to Him, such as "Jealous" or "He who is"."

The name of God is a difficult and complicated matter, wandering too close to tolerance leads to heresy, and walking the path of the Judaizers is a little bit of the same.

"Jealous?" Reasonable confusion.

"Adore not any strange god. The Lord his name is Jealous, he is a jealous God." I quote, "We may only find ourselves following one God."

"What about this son you were talking about, wouldn't that make two?" She points out.

"We believe in three persons within one God, the Father and the Son, and the Spirit. These were never created, and always existed together, they are separate, yet the same." I try to help her understand.

Her curious smile wavers, "I think I can get that if I really focus on it." She takes a bite out of a lamprey skewer, "But it sounds really complicated for no reason."

"Our God is supposed to be far beyond the human realm of wisdom, so we created ways of getting as close to "infinity" as possible in order to explain how he worked." I think that's part of why letting people interpret things as they want is such a big issue, as long as you pick carefully and mask your ego behind God, you can justify a lot of things. "Sorry, that's probably boring, and doesn't answer much."

She shakes her head softly, "No, it's fine, I miss the days when Kanako talked about the Buddha with love." I take another wing, then some sake, "She lost those passionate ways such a long time ago…" Mystia starts singing in the kitchen. I reach for the bottle once more.

"I just wish I could learn more about you too, it feels like I keep on talking without hearing anything." I lament, "Were your days truthfully that boring?"

She chuckles, apparently at my feeling of underperformance, "Don't worry, we have a human lifetime to talk, I'll tell you stories of my battles." Sounds fun, "You're really desperate, huh?"

"H-huh? What do you mean by that?" Seriously.

"As a ruler, I was always tasked with eternal vigilance, and as a woman I have lived for over 2000 years; of course, I cannot say that I can discern every single feeling and thought that goes through your soul," She points at me, "but I can clearly say that you have some sort of infatuation with me. Like a young lady with a handsome teacher, or a young man who has found his ideal hero." Biting into one of her wings, she taps my chest with her nimble finger, "Control yourself, we are not so different, you and I. We have days, months, and years; do not rush it, things will come as they must come."

She backs away from me and takes some seaweed with her chopsticks, munching on them, "And so, you must understand, that just like you are curious of me, so am I of you." Her expression is unreadable, "But women most often dislike a lack of confidence…we have only known each other for two days, therefore be a man and control yourself; your young self-assured zealotry attracted me, if you turn it into blind obsession or lukewarm belief, it will instead drive anyone away, not only me."

"…I will be better." Moreya is right, I've been jumping from plan to plan in order to get power, rushing as much as I can. In the end I am still a human, enchanted by foolish things; I am already beyond death, there is no such thing as second chances for me. "I…know that I present myself recklessly…but I will not give up, even if you lose interest…I have to fight and win, if not me, who?"

Her smile is almost predatory, it feels like it should be hidden, but she shows it without any form of shyness as if exposing one of the attributes of her soul, is this what Akyuu meant when saying that it's harder to know what she's thinking when compared to Kanako?

"Great, that's what I was hoping to hear." She pats me on the arm, it is somewhat similar to how Satoko acts. We take some last bites off a few skewers and put an end to the seaweeds. I feel embarrassed, my face is hot even if not only from the alcohol, but Moreya shows no signs of drunkenness.

"Gather courage, I noticed that desperate face of yours last night, even as you bled out." She takes a final sip of sake with a smirk, "I don't know what you attempt to hide, or why you follow me so blindly, but I expect you to be brave enough to tell me directly someday, instead of hiding your true ideas behind divine affairs." I nod numbly, looking to the side in slight shame.

"By the way, just in case you aren't involved in village matters, the Hakurei will be hosting a party to commemorate the end of the religious wars." She then tells me, which is interesting since I had no idea there were such things as casual "religious wars" in the middle of the village, though maybe she's talking about that one "incident" where people just were depressed for some time?

"Would you like to come with me? I will present you to everyone I know, maybe that'll help you to take things slowly, knowing how many different and interesting people there are in the world. Sanae also needs some friends, actual ones, she might relate to an outsider like you, since you seem to also be in your twenties." That's…

"I want to go." I take the proposition, "…I'm not in my twenties…I turned 18 last month." I need to either stop drinking or stop talking.

"Good, good." How is that good? Moreya smirks, "But it's no wonder why you act this way towards me, then, you're just a kid." Can we not?

---

I don't know how to feel about this chapter and I'm the guy who wrote it. On one hand I really enjoy writing Suwako for some reason, on the other I read over stuff after I write it, and I start cringing. Apologies for taking so long with a single chapter, I must admit that I could have posted around two days earlier if I had put in some extra work.

This chapter starts the purification of a greater ideal, the "assimilation of the shadow" within the plan, and the acceptance of the current situation from Focalor's perspective. Overall, Focalor has been too separated from humanity, but to help others he has to get closer. Suwako in turn is quite smart, and though Focalor is generally trained enough in diplomacy to follow courtly behavior, he is also young and inexperienced enough to forget such rules, which ended up with him expressing too much on multiple occasions.

Heroic traditions, interactions between lord and vassal, et cetera. Focalor is fond of Suwako in a way greater than those fitting within the classic monarchical structure, not romantically (though it may look like that to someone looking at the situation from the outside, like Focalor's dear wolf friend) or in friendly manner, but to a certain extent it would be closer to call it "subconscious" or storge.

I've introduced this because it is one of the ways I can see characters being "spiritualized", to Focalor the gods of the gentiles are demons, but if a "god-claimant" can affirm certain parts of the faith that would be impossible for a demon, it would prove for him that these are "lesser" spirits (that is, as a sort of vassalage under God, pairing them then together with the angels). This is in a certain sense, similar to the concept of Jinn in Islam, where even if they are mostly deceivers, some have demonstrated the capacity to follow God.

Other characters inserted in Gensokyo usually follow an atheistic or agnostic view of life, often apathetically accepting these things as part of their "reality", but to Focalor this is a great change within doctrine and theology, akin to a priest from the School of Salamanca being able to stand trial against slavery.

I doubt I'd be able to introduce this from now on recurrent "self-dialogue" if I didn't do it quickly, because then he'd be on a constant offensive of both trying to hide any feeling he may develop and showing great interest in the matter of comparative religion. I believe the way I'm setting up things will allow for a sort of syncretic partnership that will still be able to keep an immense degree of separation (even if I will be cringing for a few chapters until the situation is normalized).

Whether this infatuation will develop into actual romance is something I don't know, I'm tempted to make it so, but as Suwako herself said he still needs to meet people, so who knows what will happen. For all I know I'll roll a dice or two within six to eight chapters and choose based on chance, then I'll pair the poor guy with some random villager girl and be done with it; this is an exaggeration of course, but unless such pairing is explicitly well received, the relationship Suwako and Focalor hold is closer to that of friends from work who bond every weekend over alcohol.

I also am "modifying" the concepts of magic, faith and danmaku in Gensokyo based on western esoteric traditions, a slight amount of Chinese Taoist practices, and a few Discord conversations that gave me some ideas. I enjoy when fantasies deploy a certain amount of realism and stay true to the original material, but I genuinely don't think I can make mechanics in Touhou make sense. ZUN just makes everything up so you can't actually standardize most things. The problem is so goofy, you can't even count time correctly because some people in Gensokyo use the Chinese Earthly Branches to signal the hour, and it's not even correct in most manga panels, which will make me go insane if I try to conform to it.

Magic just works and danmaku is explained by saying "well, we wanted to live so we made up this stuff, where you can win by shooting beautiful patterns", and Akyuu literally just says that "Don't worry, everyone is able to fly even without wings." and passes it off as a normal thing, it works perfectly for an eternal Fairy Tale designed by one guy, but certainly not for me.

Magic in traditional circles usually relies on genetics and family lines to a certain amount, which is why Focalor was talking about genetic lines and ancestral Haplogroups, to put an example: (although it is usually frowned upon outside of vamacara/left-hand groups, and this is one of the most simple examples) with divination, people whose birth marks have some sort of star or constellation-like form and those with "star-shaped palates" are often considered to be talented in those types of witchery; the star-shaped palate has greater importance in gypsy groups, but is still generally pretty traditional. I still recommend that anyone who desires to come into contact with divination practices doesn't, as per Cornelius Agrippa's wishes.

While all the new age "spirituality" types, and wicca sorts often love to brag about spells or "miracles" they can conjure, only some new age movements have an actual spiritual base. Here in Spain these movements were much bigger decades ago with the boomer demographic, and back in those days there was a book that held a title which went along the lines of "A Guide to Creating Miracles", which explained that if you prayed in silence in a specific way at a specific hour while "emanating" specific feelings things would be materialized. It occurred to a friend of mine, who dated a girl who was into that stuff, that he followed the steps in the book, and what he asked for was materialized on his front door.

While I was not there to witness it (and therefore cannot ask that you believe me), my friend, who is a fervent atheist, has refrained from ever getting into contact with anything supernatural since that day onwards, so I am inclined to believe his story.

In short, most humans don't have aptitudes for magic in the first place, and those who think they do have them usually are more connected to demons than anything else.

Other than that, the prayer in old Spanish says the following if you didn't figure it out: "Lord eternally present, and omnipotent God. Holy Holy Holy, God of the heavenly hosts. This is my humble prayer, from this servant who has always been "faithful in deeds"(the "Fiel de fechos" is a person who substitutes a scribe, at least in the old kingdoms of Spain, and even to this day some places still use "Fiel de fechos") and to your church from which I am a disciple, that you help me do battle together with the honorable lady Moreya." This is mostly taken from old ecclesiastical documents and El Cantar de Mio Cid, but I somewhat based it on the Historia Karoli Magni also. What follows is the Pater Noster.

I think I've addressed everything that needed to be addressed, but man, I'll keep the next note simple, since this one has added over 1000 words. If I missed anything it is because I corrected this while deprived of oxygen and sleep, insult me if you want but bear with me if you can. As always, I'll look around after posting this chapter and I'll update any mistakes.

To Al. I hope you enjoyed the little Spanish insert; it will grow to be a more usual thing as Focalor gets powerful (but the old Spanish will remain a ceremonial thing). This chapter might look like it'll change interactions between these two, but it will only change on a deeper level, I'll preserve the silliness and whimsical behavior as much as I can. Marisa will make an appearance in a few chapters, so I'll see how I manage the ze then. And don't even mention danmaku and flying, Suwako will do it with some insisting, but that's going to be a nightmare to set up beyond "yeah, people fly".

To the mister Lurker. I'm glad you find this story of mine to be special enough to merit a review. I sometimes end a chapter and stare at it, correcting things and adding notes, I look at the characters and plot and often believe I'm doing something wrong (I assure you such feeling was highly present during the production of this one); it makes feel gladder than I can describe that at times my doubts are unfounded.

I believe not only Christianity, but all religions lack a certain point of importance that should be exalted in basically all forms of media these days, such grand repertoires of stories passed down through generations are thrown away as nothing more than antiquated scrap. I've called this form of modern low-quality intelligentsia "Epicurean" before.

Funnily enough, Focalor is slightly based on Kirei Kotomine regarding their essential attributes. Fate is a great work of art when you take away Grand Order, since they absolutely broke the neo scholasticism and general hermeticism within classic Type-Moon by making a horrendous gacha game.

To Maxis. I don't even understand my own writing in a sense, what I am and what I'm not, is blended into one. I would call my realism lacking, but perhaps that's my most inner perfectionism talking, even then I would firmly assert that my research is subpar, I do not know enough yet. I've been reading the Book of the New Sun (the four volumes and fifth coda, that is) which you had recommended now that I'm having some free time, and I do feel like Wolfe's ways are a good inspiration for what I'm doing. You're helping out Nomura, right? Thank you for that, it's always good to help each other.

To wellhaithar. Did I ever talk about Suwako before these two past chapters? Are you perhaps a satori? ESP? Anyways, thank you, I certainly appreciate it, even if it might not show.

To carrotsAREgoodFORyourEYES. I remember reading your username on an email, really memorable one, I must say. Even putting just that as a review is enough for me, the intention means a lot by itself.

The next chapter might have some combat, or might not, I'll flip a coin. Fortuna imperatrix mundi.

This chapter has around 15000 words, according to Word.

Much love, thank you for reading as always.

Dominus Vobiscum.