1-4
Brief sighed as he picked up ever more trash. Yula and Tex had done a bang-up job cleaning up the place after the party but… it had been a big party. Trash and litter hung about, of course, pawprints of mud and dried booze and sticky surgery mixed drinks scattered hither thither. Used red solo cups, used paper plates, used napkins… used condoms.
People had fun last night, and no mistake.
Brief blushed as he picked up a pair of panties with some tongs and placed them in the garbage bag. He doubled back over the dining room, scanning about for any more litter and filth, finding none. He grabbed the mop and bucket and set about cleaning the floor. The warm sudsy water slopped about, purging the hardwood and tile of the mess. He thought back to the night before as he set about the busywork. To… her.
Loona was her name. She was tall, really tall, and sleek and lithe to complement her wolfish visage. Done up in a pretty red and black dress styled after a spider's web, the girl had style. The way that dress accentuated her figure, her long, strong-looking legs that trailed up into her wide, hourglass hips, the pert, rounded bump of her rump–
He flatly reminded himself that the 'girl' he was daydreaming about was a gigantic werewolf-looking creature literally from Hell itself. When she snarled or bared her teeth, she looked like something out of a crazy-high budget horror movie! Her fearsome stature and visage was suffused with a savage, predatory elegance that had enthralled humanity since time immemorial. He felt that wary admiration his primitive ancestors held for their fellow predators, for the wolf, as they sat about their campfires, conjuring stories that would become religions. In this sense, Brief would admit he found her oddly… beautiful.
'Oh cripes…' Brief thought to himself. 'Am I a furry now or something?'
Her long, flowing silver hair, her elegant snout, her big red eyes wet and shining with tears. Vulnerability flowed off her in waves, sadness and self-loathing he couldn't help but sympathize with. Behind her size and wolfish, dangerous appearance, Brief had found an insecure young woman. Someone who avoided hectic social situations, someone brimming with anxiety and self-doubt. Someone with an unhappy lovelife and a tense family situation. Someone… like him?
In her inebriation, she had clung to the basic decency he had shown her, spewing her garbled, semi-coherent hang-ups on him, her breath sour with booze and bile. Brief had consoled her, talked to her, withstood her fluctuating mood… and stomach. More times than he could count, he'd held her hair back as she punished the toilet, her stomach diligently refilled with water by a concerned Brief. After a while it seemed like all he was doing was filling a leaky tank, but with each evacuation she got more and more stable.
Kind of.
Brief never claimed to be an expert on human physiology, much less that of Hellhounds, but even his amateur understanding of the metabolic system told him that Loona's blood must have had the alcohol content of a fine scotch! How was she still alive?!
Her persisting inebriation notwithstanding, she was nice… most of the time. Sure, there was the odd snap and growled insult when she imagined she was being patronized, but these would always be followed by apologies and self-castigations.
This girl was tsundere on a level that needed to be seen to be believed.
As time went on she probed and prodded and asked after his story, which he obliged with some pointed omissions and creative retellings. She'd mistaken him for a Sinner, after all, and he was in no hurry to correct her. As he spoke he recalled feeling… lighter. Better. Of course, the state she was in, he may as well have been talking like an adult from Charlie Brown! Still, it felt good to (confess his sins) get it off his chest.
'The reason I was up on that roof was–'
Brief felt a cold surge of guilt, revulsion, self-loathing.
No. No, he wouldn't be thinking about that. Filling his head with that. He'd explode! He just had to think about something else.
His lamentably predictable teenaged-nerd mind offered a distraction.'You couldn't tell by looking at her, since she's so long and tall and fluffy they just sorta blend in. But on a human-sized girl? Ds, definitely.'
Brief's cheeks burned red as he thought back to that particular part of the night, when she had toppled over on top of him. They'd been so soft, but firm and pliable, and warm! Warm and fluffy and welcoming as they enveloped his face, the steady thud of her heart pulsing through them. How his hands had sunken into them as he pushed her off him, those little lumps between his fingers hardening as she responded to his touch. Her wide hips straddling his, an unmistakable heat growing on his lap as she–
Brief felt his body react and shook his head, pale face afire, pushing the memories out of his mind. What was this place doing to him?! Was it like the Warp or something? Slowly corrupting him the longer he stayed? He had to get out of here!
"Brief, honey!" Nebula called out from the other room, walking in. "How's the dining room coming?"
Dining room? Oh, right! Brief looked about, seeing the large sudsy puddle he'd spread about while lost in thought.
"Nebula, wait! I-I haven't–" He turned to move, feeling his feet fly out from under him on a soapy sheen. "WHOA!"
He braced for impact on the hardwood floor, his eyes squeezed shut. When no impact came, he opened his eyes to find himself dangling over the floor, his pant waist clutched in Nebula's melon-sized fist. She had sped over – how can someone so big move so fast?! – and was holding him out as though he were a spaghetti-string handbag, his 140-odd pounds apparently no more burden to her as a chihuahua.
"Honey," she said, warm amusement in her deep, feminine voice. "Dontcha know you gotta mop up an area before moving on?"
"Yes, sorry," he said, sheepishly. "I just sorta spaced out."
"Wherever you went, baby, they must have some good pictures," she said, chuckling, pointing at her face. "You're red as a imp's backside!"
Brief blushed deeper with embarrassment, trying to stammer out a response before she walked them over to a dry patch and set him down.
"Don't worry about it," she said, tousling his hair, winking. "I understand. She's very pretty."
"Can we not talk about this, please?" Brief grumbled.
"Alright." She said, pointing to the stairs. "I'll be upstairs picking up. When you're done down here, give the upstairs rooms and hall a swish and come on back down, I should have lunch ready by then."
"Okay, will do," he said, before belatedly adding. "Thanks for the catch. I've avoided bad things happening to my butt since I got here, I'd hate to ruin that streak."
She laughed aloud at this, patting his shoulder. "Anytime honey."
With that she set off, Brief watching her go. 'Like someone put jeans on one of those prize-winning pumpkins you see at a county fair–no! Stop! Bad thoughts! – Double Gs, easy – Shut up, Brief! Just… just clean the damn floor…'
The clean-up went on without issue and soon the house was polished to a mirror shine. He sat at the table opposite Nebula, a robustly crafted double-decker sandwich on the plate before him. He picked up the sandwich and took a bite. The crunchy lettuce and juicy tomato played well with the tangy sourdough, sharp cheddar, and tender, seasoned meat. What kind of meat, Brief couldn't say, but as a kid from a wealthy family his broad palate compared it favorably to smoked beef tongue. Whatever it was, it was delicious.
He polished off half the sandwich in short order, chasing it down with a sweet, bubbly 'Fizz Jizz Cola'. He grimaced at the name and the unsubtle toothy smile on the nightmarish clown mascot leering from the can. From the taste he was reasonably sure that the name was just that, a name. Fairly sure. Like, say, 60% sure.
He took another sip.
65%?
"Worked up an appetite, hun?" Nebula said from across the table.
"I guess so," said Brief, starting on the other half. "It's really good, thank you. You're some cook!"
She laughed and patted her belly. "You don't fill out like this by being a bad one! Besides, if you wanna learn how to make people wanna eat 'til they pop, you gotta go to Gluttony. The treats they have down there? Phwoo! Even a twig like you would fill out after a week!"
"That sounds like fun! I…" Brief was quiet for a moment. "Hm."
"What is it, hun?"
"Just…" Brief sighed, gesturing at everything around him. "This is Hell? This? I mean, there are monsters and stuff running around, but this place seems… normal? I mean, it just seems like a big weird city. Sure, there's garbage everywhere and rapists running about, but there's also places like this. People like you and Mr. Vortex. Nice people. Good people! I just… I dunno, I was expecting Hellraiser or the Warp, not Daten City during Anthrocon! Or LA during Halloween. Or Detroit."
"Oh, honey," said Nebula, shaking her head. "There's plenty bad out there. Me and Tex? We're lucky. Very lucky. We're strong enough to protect ourselves from most, and connected enough to defend against the rest. Down Here, only power and force is respected, either your own or that of someone who owes you. Vortex tells me that on Earth you have laws and protections and such, where people don't victimize one another just because they can. It sounds nice. Peaceful."
"I wouldn't exactly call Daten City 'peaceful'," grumbled Brief, before sighing. "I guess you're right, though. Thank you, Nebula, really. Without you and Mr. Vortex, I don't know what I'd do!"
"Die, probably," said Nebula, disconcertingly blase, the boy wincing at that. "And don't you fret, Brief, we'll keep you safe until we can get you home. My man works with Asmodeus, that means he can sniff up a way to the human world easy as that!" She had a wide smile on her face, big and welcoming much like the plump Hellhound. "You're welcome here for as long that takes."
Brief wanted to cry, felt like he should cry. But he couldn't. Something was stopping him, a cold, numb plug deep in his heart choking any attempt at release.
All this was so much. His life was hardly normal before, but this? He was in Hell. Hell itself. And yet only here, now, with these strangers, these Hellhounds, did he feel… wanted? Cared for. What did he have back on Earth? A contemptuous father. A perverted priest. A pair of chilly demon sisters.
…Her. The Angel who broke his heart.
Brief was jolted from his spiraling thoughts by a loud 'bang' as the door flew open. The sound of heavy footsteps and scrabbling claws underscoring a deep, booming voice.
"Nebula? Brief?" It was Vortex, his usually calm, even voice harried, urgency bordering on panic clear at the edges of his words. "You here? Babe?!"
"Vortex!" Nebula said, getting to her feet, worry clear on her face. "In the dining room! Baby, what's wrong? You sound–"
Vortex hurried into the dining room, his hackles raised and eyes wide. He took his girlfriend in a tight, protective hug. He looked over her shoulder at Brief, relief clear in his eyes. "We're leaving. Right now."
(X)
The garish lights of Gluttony's capital lit up the sky. Countless, endless parties and celebrations of bottomless indulgence formed the background noise of the realm. A tall, slender figure stepped out onto the wide, furnished balcony hanging off the side of an immense hive-like palace. She walked along the balcony towards the edge, walking over the shimmering air above a roiling pool of glowing lava. Queen Beelzebub sighed as she leaned over the railing, gazing out into her domain, a small smile on her face. Hedonism and indulgence electrified the air, suffusing her with a steady flood of delectable sin. Her people were thanking their Queen for her most recent and stunning victory.
She cast her gaze out at the city, grimacing slightly at the various scars and ruins caused by Gluttony's most recent and most certainly uninvited guest. The creature had been enormous, a skyscraper-sized bulbous mass of black and orange flesh, wrapped in glowing garments and festoon with tiny shining wings. Its body terminated in a rounded protrusion on which was what could charitably be called its 'face', two vacuous orange eyes that glowed from within and a massive serrated maw. It had opened its mouth and, with an immensely powerful, arcane vortex, began to devour every sweet, cake, and candy Gluttony had to offer. Even consumed confection was not safe from the magical maelstrom, hauling any citizen of Gluttony with a sweet in their belly screaming through the air, tumbling into the thing's gaping orange gullet. The beast was unlike anything Gluttony had ever known!
…Or rather, unlike anything its people had ever seen.
Bee smirked; she prided herself on being friendly and approachable to her subjects despite her phenomenal power and influence. Partially this was due to her naturally affable nature, but also the fact that only when comfortable, at ease, and complacent does one indulge in her art, her source, her Sin. It wouldn't do for her subjects to see her true form, a Queen of Hell truly unleashed, too often, lest the fact of their insignificance put a damper on their consumption.
Most other Sins would have allowed the beast to run rampant, content to let their underlings handle the situation however long that would take. It just wasn't proper for one of the Seven to handle things themselves, to dirty their hands with gruntwork. Hell, Satan probably would have grabbed the popcorn and watched the devastation unfold, and Belphegor couldn't be arsed. But She wasn't like the others, concerned with reputation and maintaining a 'decorous facade'. She wasn't putting up a front or playing her part, she simply didn't care from whence her Sin flowed, only that it flowed as much and as wantonly as possible. And this bitch was pinching the hose. No one wants to party in a ruined city! Or, she supposed, get eaten and die. Someone had to do something to punt this vibe-killing cooze to the curb!
So, she did.
Beelzebub never considered herself much of a fighter, that was Satan's thing, but one doesn't survive The Heavenly Boogaloo against Archangels by being a bitch. And a bitch that bitch was! As soon as the Regent of Gluttony slipped into a roomier, more comfortable form – inasmuch a 50-story tall insectoid-canine could be considered 'roomy' – that tiger-icecream-colored cow folded like origami! Bee had gotten tougher things stuck in her teeth at a barbecue! The threat dealt with and order restored, the Queen of Consumption had unleashed a triumphant howl, the sheer power of her gargantuan voice atomizing windows and eardrums for miles around.
Her command echoed in the souls of every being in the realm: "LET'S FUCKIN' PAAAAAAARTYYYY!"
And so they did, grateful to their Queen for her timely intervention, thanking her with ostentatious displays of consumption and indulgence. Delicious.
Still… her victory left a sour taste in her mouth that no deluge of excess could wash away. The Intruder, the Interloper was… different. Once she'd cooled off from her city-munching candy-bender, she'd reverted back to what was, apparently, her true form. A true form that alluded to something going down. Something bad. The bitch was stubborn though. Not even Old Testament Hell's most creative incentives could pry the deets from her. Bitch actually seemed to enjoy it! Gross! If one good thing came from Lucy's restructuring from OT Hell to his new 'ironic' Hell paradigm, it was that she didn't have to deal with tormenting the 'harder mommy!' types. Almost took the fun out of it! …Almost.
So now, Bee was exercising a different form of coercion, one she was sure would eventually break this uppity masochist. One cue, her watch buzzed: one hour had elapsed.
"Time to go check on our guest~" She sang, turning away from her capitol and skipping back indoors.
She took her time descending the expanse of her palace, sampling the various delectable treats her servants offered her on ornate platters as she passed. She took one of each, devouring the rest, the spared samples hovering in the air around her until she was trailing a veritable cloud of confectionery of every possible description, sucking her fingers clean as she did. Once in the bowels of her palace, Bee came to a stop outside a heavily plated door festoon with all the blessings and sigils available to one such as herself, which is to say 'pert near all of them'. With a gesture, the heavy door to the dungeon swung open, revealing a dark, dank cell. There, chained to the floor, illuminated by the light from the hall, was what looked to be a beautiful human woman.
Looked to be.
She lay on the hard floor, restrained by sigil-engraved Seraphim Steel chains, her shapely body wrapped in strips of glowing white Celestial silk, her two-toned navy-blue pink-inlined hair pooled about her on the rough-hewn stone. From her back sprouted a pair of shimmering ephemeral wings, feathers tattered and singed black from her Fall.
"Wakey-wakey, lil Angel~" Bee said, singsong, reaching up and grabbing a boba tea floating next to her. "It's time to chit-chat!"
She cast out the sweet, sticky drink, splashing the slumbering Angel across the face. She jumped awake with a gasp, her blue-ringed eyes widening as she tasted the liquid. With all the grace and poise of a starving pig she scooped at the sweet tea and tapioca pearls on the floor, slurping and sucking like a succubus after a dry-spell. Her pupils narrowed as she fully sampled her mouthful, her pale skin greening as she spat it back out, hacking.
"Aspartame! Blech!" She cried, disgust and outrage clear in her voice, her eyes locking a baleful glare on the demon queen. She launched herself at her, hands clasping, clawing air as the chains went taut. "You fucking bitch! I'll skin you alive for that! I'll bite your tits off and drink the real deal from your fucking skull, you–!"
Bee silenced her by plucking one of the many treats, a tiny red cupcake with white frosting, and eating it. The Queen of Excess allowed a mask of exquisite pleasure to wash over her face, squealing in delight as she chewed. The Angel could only stare with palpable longing.
"Fuck, that's good…" She said after swallowing. "Y'know, one of the benefits of being, well, me, is that aaalll those lovely confectioners out there wanna impress me. Whipping up the most decadent, delicious treats for me to enjoy~ Red velvet cupcake with full-fat cream-cheese icing. Sounds basic, I know, but sometimes it's the simple things, right?"
The Angel's eyes darted back and forth to all the myriad scrumptious treats hovering about the demon royal.
"Oh? What's this?" Beelzebub grabbed another, a small tart with pale yellow filling. "I'm gonna say… saffron custard."
The Angel watched with wide, hungry eyes as the Deadly Sin popped the morsel into her mouth and chewed, a thin line of drool trailing down her chin.
"Oh! Oh, wow! I was so wrong in the best way!" Bee exclaimed, closing her eyes and placing her hands to her cheeks in delight. "Key lime pie filling! Ahn~ Creamy, sweet goodness cut by the sharp, citrus –zap!– of lime juice! So cheeky!" She set her index finger on her cheek and twisted it. "That's what I call it when a thing makes that little tingle right here. Cheeky! It's cheeky! Anyway, let's see, what's next…"
"Please, not this…" The Angel moaned, her eyes spellbound on the galaxy of delights floating around her. "I'll do anything…"
Bee prepared to pop a Ferrier Roche into her mouth before stopping, her eyes glowing as a malicious smile crawled across her wolfish face. "An~y~thing~?"
The Angel blinked, jogged from her stupor, that familiar stubbornness returning in force. She turned away. "Pig out all you like, you fly-infested cumdumpster. I'm not talking."
"Not even for…?" Bee crooned as a dozen tiny brown ovoids hovered in front of the bound Angel.
"RAISINETS!" The Angel bellowed, her hands moving too fast to see as she grabbed them out of the air. "HA! Too fast for ya, bitch!"
Beelzebub watch with wry amusement as the sugar-addict stuffed them into her mouth and chewed before stopping, her face going pale before she ejected the half-chewed brown wad from her mouth, spitting and hacking. "I was gonna say sugar-free carob-covered espresso beans, but good guess."
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you." The Angel growled, literally, ringed eyes glowing black and blue as her wings flared red. "When I get free I'm gonna cut you up, dip you in chocolate, and fucking eat you!"
"Sounds like a blast, babe," said Bee, airily, popping a handful of genuine Raisinets into her mouth. "Anytime you feel like another tango, hit me up. I'll bring the tunes, you bring the heat. I might even let you hit me this time out of pity."
The Angel's fury deflated somewhat, bubbling somewhere south of 'absolute abhorrence'. "What do you want from me?"
"I just wanna talk, fatty," said Bee, shrugging. "Specifically, I wanna talk about how, exactly, an Angel wound up in my neck of the woods, and unless you want to go on a Keto cleanse with nothing but a bucket and rag for support, you'll tell me."
The Angel glared at her, saying nothing.
Bee sighed and rolled her eyes, juggling candies with her second set of arms. "Can you at least gimme your name? Or would you prefer 'Fatty McHighlights'?"
"…Stocking," she said, gritting her teeth as though she'd just slammed her thumb in a car door.
A Raisinet streaked over and popped into her mouth, a few chews later and her face was a mask of pure bliss, the relief of an addict indulged.
"There?" Bee said, leaning forward. "Was that so hard?"
Stocking scoffed and crossed her arms, turning away from her captor. "Go choke on a hornet's cock and die, flywhore."
"Sure. I'll go do that and be right back. I've got all the time in the world." Beelzebub smirked, reclining as she hovered above the ground, plucking a cube of tiramisu from the air. She took a bite out of it, leering down at the Angel, her friendly smile curdling like cream in summer sun. "So here's the score, cunt: you fucked over my ring, my people, for your little sugar-bender. By proxy, you fucked with me." She pressed her foot against Stocking's face and kicked hard as the angel hurtled back, snapped down to the ground by the chains. "I'm going to get you to talk, but first I'll chew on you a bit. For flavor."
"Think stepping on me… and sweets will make me beg? Piss off, furfag," Stocking huffed as she sneered back. "I wanna do… whatever the FUCK I want!"
"Oh boy, you're a tough one, ain't ya? Well…" Beelezebub licked her lips and bared her fangs. "You think you're hot shit as a Fallen Angel? Bitch, I'm one of the OGs." Her anja opened and flared as she glared into the defiant Angel's blue and black-ringed eyes. "And when I'm done with you, you're going to BEG for me for candy…"
"Bring it, bitch."
"Sweet sweet sweet~"
(X)
"What do you mean Asmodeus is hunting for Brief!?" Nebula asked as she was up in shotgun, Brief sitting in the back under a blanket as he leaned against the seat and stared into space. Vortex was going fast, driving on the freeway as he focused on the road.
Brief saw the look in his eyes: he was spooked. Definitely. The strong and chill Vortex was gripping that steering wheel as if the devil was at his heels. And if he was reading the room right, he very well could be.
"I meant what I said. Not just that, but he's using the Vees to help him find him," Vortex said. "He knows Corset is on the hunt, worse, he knows where Brief landed."
"Then why the FUCK are we going to Imp City?!" Yula hissed.
"Because Brief's ticket home is there!" Vortex grimaced. "Look, I'd pry Loona away from her work, but her boss may still be around. That's where you come in. Gotta distract them so me and Brief can, ya know." He shrugged, eyes wide. "Get Loona to use that book to get him home!"
"And you think a big ole lummox like you is gonna sneak by three well-armed Imps, waltz to a business whose entire modus operandi is, I remind you, Vortex Johnson…" Nebula growled, Vortex just focusing on the road to not meet his girlfriend's glare as he flinched at her calling him by his full name. "…KILLING HUMANS!"
"On contract," Vortex muttered.
"And you even told me that for that imp to even have a Goetia Grimoire he has to have connections! He's connected to a fucking Goetia, Tex!" She rubbed her snout, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Did you like, even think this through!? Like, at all?!"
"Babe, I am incredibly nervous right now."
"So… you're panicking?" Brief asked, Yula looking back and the orange haired boy can see the dark furred found give him a glance in the rearview mirror as he began to pass by various trucks.
"Nope! No. Nonononono, hehe, trust me kid. You'll know when I'm panicking. I'm just… super focused. Anxious. Nervous. Ya knooooow…" Vortex offered an awkward goofy smile, one which Yula and Brief aren't buying. "Not panicking at all in the slightest."
"That sounds like the textbook definition of panic." Brief murmured.
"Look! The point is," Vortex sighed, letting out a deep breath to calm himself down. "We got your ticket home. And if Loona's boss is gone, well, all the better. It'll just be us."
"Okay, then how do we get Brief inside the building without anyone noticing?" Nebula asked. "And like, couldn't you just call Loona or something?" She spotted Vortex' phone and reached for it, only for the muscular Hound to take it and place it between his legs. "The fuck?"
"Nope, nu-uh." Vortex said. "Yula, the VEES." He urged, and Yula blinked, and then paled.
"Shhhhhhhhit." She breathed, setting a hand to her face.
"Ummm, who are the Vees?" Brief asked.
"Three very influential, very powerful Overlords," Vortex replied. "They cornered the market on plenty of things in regards to the media. TV, phones, the porn industry. You name it."
"TV and phones? So, like, they can just wiretap in or, what, come crawling out like that girl from the Ring or something?" Brief mused, only for the Hounds up front to be looking at him with hollow looks in their eyes.
…
"They can, can't they," Brief groaned, feeling all the more nervous.
"Vox is known as the TV Demon, and he's able to see whatever happens through all TVs distributed in Hell. He eliminated any competition in the Lower Rings thanks to his cheap prices and mass distribution. He's able to glean whatever information he so chooses from whatever TV screen he can scry," Vortex explained. "Then there's Velvette, the Smartphone Demon. Her deal is with Smartphones, social media, etc…"
Brief felt a shiver of fear lace through his core as he remembered how he looked at Vortex's phone the other day. "She can look through that too."
"And see texts and record phone calls, too." Vortex clicked his tongue. "Yeah… And Valentino is the worst of them all. He's essentially a crime lord/pimp."
"And they're gonna have people in Imp City?"
"Likely, but if we can keep your head down, we should be ok. They don't seem to want to find you for themselves, since Ozzie's on the table and the last thing anyone would do is cross an Embodiment." Vortex took more deep breaths as Nebula remained quiet and perturbed. "See those clothes beside ya?" Brief glanced over, seeing the beanie and big hoodie. He even noticed a kind of mask too to cover his nose and mouth. "You'll be wearing those, and make fake coughing noises." Brief held the hoodie up, seeing some strands of fur on them. "I rolled around in them. Get my scent on you to throw off other Hounds."
"Well, you may have lost your damn mind, but at least you're not an idiot." Yula mused.
"When I get nervous I tend to wing it with high degrees of success." Vortex replied.
"That sounds dubious, babe."
"It was my only option Yula, and-Oh FUCKS SAKE!" Vortex did a swerve, and Brief hung on as Vortex cut over to an exit ramp, and Brief noticed it as they rode up the ramp. A massive pile up down the freeway. "Okay. Babe. Be my navigator."
"Right." Yula was groaning as she almost hit the window as she pulled her phone out of her cleavage, Brief blinking as he did his best to ignore being on a wacky ride as Vortex was at a stoplight. More cars were behind him, clearly seeing the same deal in wanting to get off.
"Okay… got it." She inputted the directions and placed it in the charger for Vortex to see on the dash popping up before Vortex slapped it out.
"Not. The Dash!" He hissed, and Yula blanched. Oh yeah. Velvette. Dash System+Phone App? One big scrying camera for her to see through.
Brief began to put on that hoodie and beanie, putting them on like a nuclear factory worker going into the depths of a reactor. As in, Olympic record speed time.
"Okay, okay, lemme just hold it. Go to… your boss' studio." Nebula said as she input the directions on the phone's map. "Okay babe just go down Turpentine Avenue and then-"
She rattled off plenty of directions as Vortex continued to drive and Brief put on the beanie and then the mask over his mouth. He sighed through it, looking out the glass window. They were going to take side roads to Imp City in all likelihood, and it allowed him to see this twisted red-tinged world go by.
Imps with their families. Hellhounds with their own packs or acting as security. And the misshapen and twisted form of a former human. A Sinner as they strolled about without a care in the world, brushing aside any who would bump into them. They looked nightmarish. Monstrous.
And he's stuck down here with them. He took a deep breath to calm himself.
Vortex said Loona was at her business, a business that specializes in killing humans on behalf of vengeful and twisted Sinners. With her bumbling but well-meaning dad and her two co-workers who were obnoxiously in love with each other, and one of them was obese, apparently.
Calm down… he'll be home soon. Back in his bed in his big manor.
His big empty manor.
A manor that had sterile servants, who served a father who barely regarded him with so much as a passing glance.
Brief hugged himself, trying to keep himself warm. It seemed like no matter where in life he turned… something bad was always bound to happen.
(X)
Loona kept on pacing around the office, anxiously. Ever since her hangover passed, she had a food delivery guy bring up a burger and fries from a nearby McDahmers, something to fill her up after she barfed this morning. Then came the waiting for the time as it began to pass by. Normally spending time on her phone, taking selfies and posting to Sinstigram would help pass the time but knowing that Vortex was coming spawned in her a gnawing, roiling anxiety.
Not because of Tex himself, but because of Rock.
So she tried to make herself busy. She began to clean up around the office, using those cleaning supplies for the first time as she swept up the floor. Scrubbed the windows and the desk to eliminate dust bunnies. Cleaned up both toilets using the cleaning solution. It helped pass the time.
Until the IMP Office was as clean as ever. Cleaner than even when Blitzo got the space on lease.
And then the waiting, and trawling on Tex and, subsequently, Yula's social media pages, tormenting herself with the timeline of their happy relationship. Honestly, the fact she didn't think of checking his page sooner made the silver furred hound want to punch herself. Then again, Tex didn't post much. Nothing work related with his time with Verosika, but more with the occasional date photo with Yula and Loona felt the bitter taste of envy and desire hit her.
She shook her head, moving away as she picked up a magazine to read. Verosika and her upcoming tours. Channel 666's newest upcoming show that'll be a flop. An ad for a hotel for rehabilitating sinners.
Loona scoffed, tossing it in the trash by the door as she went back to her phone and played "Hatesplosion". The app where you make your desired JPG die and explode in various creative ways. Naturally, she was tormenting an electronic Moxxie.
It brought her some level of distraction before she went through the hundred ways to ravage that fatty's face as she sighed, looking up at the ceiling.
Blitzo and the duo were clearly having the time of their life killing it up in Paris, a glance at the computer spreadsheet Blitzo updated in real-time via HellDrive complete with photo/video attachments of the kills. Loona clicked on one…
"Okay Moxxie, recording?" Blitzo whispered, his face appearing in the video.
"Yeah sir, clearly." The burnscared Imp grinned.
"Okay, this kill is for Charlotte De La Linguine for…" He pulled out the reference card. "Hmmm, 'being a cheating fucker and giving me 'gonoreeya' and being a…a… Macaroni voter?'"
"I believe it's pronounced 'Macron' sir," said Moxxie, snobbishly adopting a French accent. "He's a political official who-"
"At-tah-tah! Shutter that yap, Mox! IMP is strictly apolitical. Naw, we just kill who we're hired to!" He sniggered, swatting at Moxxie. "And did take this contract, sooo… Millie-Dillie~" He chimed, and the video went to a schlubby looking apartment. Millie grinned, hefting up twin pairs of daggers and Moxxie zoomed in. "Moxxie if you are zooming in on your wife's ass I'm going to stuff your head in the can when we get back."
Moxxie hurriedly zoomed out and Loona sniggered.
"Aaaaaand sick'em!"
Millie leapt through the air like a bat out of hell, crashing through the window and assaulting the target as Loona can hear the screams and blood splattered on the inside of the glass.
"Oooooh man! Wish I could be in the splashzone, but hey, STDs and all." Blitzo narrated. "Oh Millieeee~!"
"What's up Boss man!" The girl poked her head out, her serrated daggers covered in blood and gore.
"Be sure to clean that shit up, wouldn't wanna lose my two employees to do 'gonzorhea'."
"Sir, why would you-"
"Because you're going to be pegged into the wall when this is all over and done with, Moxx, I can so tell." Blitzo cackled, turning the camera to his grinning face. "Sooo, that's your kill Charlotte! IMP gets the job done no matter what! Hope you enjoyed it byeeee~!"
And so the video ended. Loona sighed and shook her head, leaning back and looking at the ceiling.
Time passed.
She began to inspect it more thoroughly.
'There's a lot of bumps on the ceiling.' She thought, idly. 'Why can't they make it perfectly flat? That shit's so ugly, and it makes a mess when you touch it. What is that shit, anyway?'
They're having a blast in Paris, and she's held up here…
Work was boring as shit. But, then again, boredom was better than a minor panic attack! She almost leapt out of her chair when a knock came at the door.
"Loona?" The voice from the other side said.
Loona perked up, looking at the time. 5:30. She got up to her feet, trotting over and opening the door.
"Tex, you made it," Loona said, smiling as she saw the tall black furred hound smile. By his side was the plump and curvy Nebula. "Yula, hey."
"Hey Loona," Nebula waved. "Sorry we came under, well, odd circumstances…" She sniffed the air. "Mmmngh, smells of blood, pine tree and chalk." She took a deeper sniff. "And… eels?"
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. And yeah, we used to have an eel cage a while back." Loona said as she backed off to let the duo inside. "So, traffic got in the way?"
"Yeah, pileup on the freeway leading from the Ville to Imp City. Had to take some side streets," Vortex replied as he walked on in, Nebula right behind him and a small, slim individual in a hoodie, half his face covered with a mouth-mask and a beanie over his head, his eyes obscured by a curtain curly orange bangs.
…
She sniffed the air and silence reigned as Nebula closed the door.
"Rock?" She asked aloud. "That you?"
The hooded individual nodded as he took off the hood, then his mouth-mask, followed by his beanie as he shook out his bright fluffy orange hair. That beige skin with freckles on his cheeks.
"H-Hey Loona." He said. "You, uh, look like you're feeling better."
"So, you don't have three heads, do you?" Loona surmised as dread filled her at her core.
"No…?" Rock said, tapping the side of his head as Loona took a deep breath and paced away, her hands on her wide hips as she practically towered over him. "Should I?"
"So, uhh, you guys have any trouble bringing him here?" She asked, turning to Vortex. "Anyone see you come in?"
"Met a couple in the elevator. We just said he's our son." Nebula spoke, and Vortex blushed. As did Rock for that matter. "By adoption. Thankfully they bought it and went on to do some tech stuff…"
"Yeah, we have a call center on the lower floors." Loona replied as she took a deep breath, leaning against the window and looking at Rock. "So… you're human."
"Yeah. I am," Rock said, looking around the place, awkwardly trying to change the subject. "Gotta say, compared to the rest of the building, this place looks spotless! Pretty sure I saw a slime-mold eating a rat on the way up…"
"Well, I needed something to do and while-Fuck Don't change the subject!." She breathed in, centering herself. "Tex, explain." She crossed her arms over her chest. "What's a human doing in Hell?"
"Do you really wanna know?" Vortex said, worry written all over his face.
And Loona gulped, remembering his words earlier. Of someone 'watching' their very text messages. She recalled Moxxie's words to Millie, after that Corset asshole's departure.
"The Vees are sniffing around, aren't they?" She said after a pause. "Tapping our phones. And some fucker named Corset's in on it too, yeah?
"You know Corset?!" Rock exclaimed in fear.
"He came by around noon today." She elaborated. "Wanted to hire IMP to hunt a 'human looking sinner'. Old school incubus, real fancy, yeah?" Rock couldn't respond, he only gulped and nodded. She continued: "So if that fancy perv after you, and Vees are watching, and there's an actual fucking human in Hell… that means Asmodeus is behind this."
"Wow, Loona!" Yula whistled, impressed. "Never had you figured for a sleuth."
She shrugged. "You learn to figure shit out for yourself in the Kennels."
"Okay… so, Corset wants to surprise his boss. Or get back in his good graces, I reckon." Vortex mused as Rock looked despondent. "Asmodeus wants to play along, seeing if his subordinate can follow through, but he's using outside channels to track him and to try and find Brief. He's covering his bases."
"Brief?" Loona asked, turning to the human.
"Oh, that's my name, actually," he said, smiling somewhat as he walked up to her. "The name's Brief. Briefers Rock."
"That's… a unique name." Loona mused and the boy shrugged. "What? Was your mom named Girdle?
"Never mind that! We came here for a reason." Nebula sighed. "Loona, IMP has the means to get to the human world, right?"
"Yeah, we do." Loona walked over to the desk. "Okay it's down in there…" she muttered as she bent over and began rummaging through the pile of stuff she'd cleared off her desk in her cleaning spree.
Brief craned his neck over to see this apparently important Grimoire. Demon tomes and ancient arcane artifacts were kinda his thing. As though by magnet, his monkey-brained teenaged boy wiring pulled his eyes to her long, shapely legs as though by magnet. Lithe, muscular, but plush and thick, growing more so as his eyes trailed up, and up, until those legs up and made an ass of themselves. That nice, wide, toned rump filled out her dark, low-cut skirt like they were made to, topped with a long, fluffy tail–
He was jolted out of his 'research' when Loona reared back up and slammed an arcane-looking book on the desk. "There it is."
"Whoa… so that's a book used by one of Solomon's demons…" Brief said, tentatively touching the jewel encrusted book, the symbology on the front composed of shimmering gold leaf. "Oh yeah, look! This is the insignia of Grand Prince Stolas! Wow, that's a big ruby on the spine! Aand oh, the stars here represent upside down crosses… nice touch…"
"You know Stolas' symbol?" Loona asked as Brief looked up.
"Well, I did tell you that I am a big fan of the Occult. I know my way around Solomon's order of demons and that's just the tip of the iceberg, hehe!" He said, looking bashful as he smiled.
"Wait, told me? When-Oh, yeah. The party." Loona then paled. She was knock-out drunk. "…Right."
She glanced at him, eyes narrowing. "What else did you do, perv?"
Brief jolted up right, babbling half-formed refutations as sweat beaded on his pale face. Loona sighed, she may not remember much of that night, but even she knew this little dork wasn't the handsy type. Still, for him to have seen her in such a state should have been mortifying, but… it wasn't. For some reason she couldn't quite place, she felt as though Brief could be trusted with seeing that side of her, trusted to not talk behind her back or spill the beans to anyone.
Still, it was fun to see the little guy squirm.
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" He exclaimed.
Nebula rolled her eyes, but stepped up and placed her hand affectionately on his shoulder. "I can attest to that. Swear on my mother. Brief here is a good boy!"
"Yeah, whatever…" Loona sighed. "Well… in that case, you need me to send him home, right?"
"We do. The sooner Brief returns to the human world, the sooner this can be put behind us and everyone can be safe and sound." Vortex said. "Asmodues would think he's still down here in Hell, and Corset and him would end up on an eternal goose chase." He said with a smile.
"That's it then… I'm… going home." Brief said as Loona lifted up the book, looking in some form of relief. "I'll be out of Hell…"
"Yeah…" Loona murmured, rubbing the back of her head. "Like, Brief… even I know you don't belong here." She said as she gazed back at him. "I don't know how you got here, but it has something to do that Corset guy, right?" He nodded as she turned the pages. "Okay then, dude. I'll get you home."
Brief looked up, and he smiled softly. "T-Thanks Loona. Means a lot…"
"Don't mention it." Loona found the portal spell she needed. "Alright, where ya from and which spot?"
"Well, I'm from Daten City. Rock Manor."
Loona quirked an eyebrow. "Daten City? That in America or something?"
"Yep." He replied.
"Weird, which sta-Oh, there it is." Loona perked up, and with her glowing hand, a big circular portal appeared. It shimmered and came to life, and on the otherside of the portal was a big and elaborate manor. Going by the shade, the portal seemed to be under a tree of sorts. The manor was towering, imposing as Loona's eyes rose up and she poked her head out to check the massive gothic looking structure.
"You… live there? Holy Shit this looks like a One Percenter's Evil Castle or something." Loona asked as Brief nodded, but his smile wasn't on his visage as he looked up at that place with… a look Loona felt nostalgic of. It was the same kind of look she had whenever Blitzo took side streets and they passed by a Hound Pound.
Not her's specifically, but any Hound Pound was bound to make her feel wanting to get as far away as possible.
"Yep. I do." Brief said, and even Nebula poked her head in.
"Wow… Brief you live like a Prince or something!" Nebula said, Brief being silent again as Vortex sighed.
"Well, this is goodbye then." He said, hands on his hips as Brief turned. "Brief, meeting ya was quite the adventure. But you'll be safe here. And hey, if you hear of a Veronica Maydey Concert in the real world." He smiled, gesturing to himself. "I'll be around. Come on down, I'll get ya front row seats."
"Thanks. Mr. Vortex." He said, his hand up to shake his larger paw. And then Brief was scooped up by Yula, and he was buried by her immense bosom as Loona and Vortex's eyes went wide.
"Ohhhh Briefyyyy~! I'm gonna miss youuuu~" She wailed, hugging the orange haired human as she peppered his crown with kisses. Vortex had a grimacing grin on his features and Loona felt the tiniest bit of jealousy ramp up as Brief was muffled by her breasts.
"Mmmph…T-thank you Miss Nebula…" He said, before finally being let go and set back on the floor. He turned towards Loona, and Loona can see it. Behind those orange bangs, blue eyes that were shimmering.
"And Loona, it was good meeting you. You're a good person." Brief smiled at her. "And you're very kind too, for doing this."
…
Loona didn't know how to feel about that, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. "R-Right, yeah, whatever. Like, you should get going Rock. My dad and the others could call back any time now so…" She blabbered, shooing him. "The sooner you're there, the sooner you're safe from Asmodeus or whatever so… Off ya go."
Brief said nothing, blushing in shame at her brusqueness.
'Satan dammit…'
She took a deep breath. "Hey, Brief?" The boy perked up. "Thanks for…well. Not being some creep when I was, like, super drunk the other night."
"Don't worry about it. You'd do the same for me." He said with a smile. Yula rolled her eyes off to the side.
Loona felt guilt within her since… no, she wouldn't go far for other people. Maybe Blitzo of course, but he's her father or something.
"Well… alright." Loona said, taking a deep breath as Brief did the same. She stepped back, ready to close the portal the moment the boy was on the other side.
"Alright… Goodbye everyone." Brief said softly, looking back at the trio of Hellhounds as he began to walk towards the portal… He took a step towards it-
"Oof!" Brief stumbled backwards, nose smarting as though he'd walked right into a wall. "Huh?"
He placed his hands against the portal, and tried to push through, but a shimmering white light met his hands as he pushed and strained to get through.
"Uhhh…" Nebula looked at Loona. "Is there something wrong with that book of yours?"
Loona looked down, eyes wide. "N-no, it's the same portal spell I always use!" She exclaimed, looking up at the human. "Brief?"
"I'm trying to get through, here… it won't let me!" The boy cried out. "It's like pushing into a wall!"
"Hold on." Vortex trotted up, and put his arm through the portal, and his arm came out the other side. He knelt down, and plucked a tuft of grass and brought it to hell, soil and dirt falling between his fingers as he looked down at Brief, and then to Nebula and Brief as Loona felt a cold pit growing in her stomach. "Uh…?"
Silence reigned over the group. Loona could see the expressions on Vortex and Nebula's face change from confusion to pure, bottomless dread. Brief's shoulder slumped as he stumbled backward, sitting on a chair near the wastebasket.
"He can't go back. For whatever reason he can't go back to the human world…" Nebula muttered, turning to Loona. "Why?! Is it your book? Did you do something wrong?!"
"No! It's the same spell I've always used!" Loona cried out, the larger hound glaring at her. "We even had a human here once, so we can bring humans over!"
"Then why the FUCK isn't it working for him!" Nebula barked, pointing at Brief who was looking to the ground, his expression slack.
Loona felt guilt swell within her. Why wasn't this working?! "I don't know! All I do is read the spells, I didn't write the fucking thing!"
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Vortex uttered, beginning to pace. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."
"Now look! You got Tex panicking!" Nebula exclaimed.
"Well, I am too! For whatever fucking reason, we're in the crosshairs of a literal fallen angel!" Loona tried to defend herself, also succumbing to rambling panic. "Oh, fuck… oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!"
"Try a different spell! Any spell at all!"
"That's the only one I know!" Loona pointed to the Grimoire. "I only learned that one spell for work!"
"You didn't think that learning other spells from a Goetia Grimoire could be useful! Like, at ANY Fucking point!"
"Shit shit shit shit shit." Vortex had his hands to his head, and Loona walked away.
"What do you want me to do!" She closed the portal, then conjured it again. And like clockwork, even transformed into a human. She marched over, going onto the lawn of the Rock Manor and back over. "See! I can come in, and out!"
Brief perked up, seeing her shorter human form for a minute before he turned back to looking at the floor. Loona winced, her transforming back to normal as Nebula had her hands in her hair.
"Fuckmothering… we're demons! Of course a book created by the Goetia can only work that way!" Nebula groaned loudly.
"It worked when we brought a human in a while back!"
"Who? A target?" Yula growled.
"Who else!" It wasn't a lie, technically. That little snot nose bully was the target after all.
Brief looked to the bin, and rummaged through it as he looked at a magazine.
"Of fucking course I-" She paused, and fell to a chair. "Fuck, what are we gonna do…?" Nebula breathed, collecting herself as she looked back to Brief who was looking at the magazine, reading its pages. Then at a stricken Vortex. "Tex… Tex, baby."
"We are so dead. So so so so fucking DEAD!" Vortex moaned.
"Tex."
"What do we do what we do what do we-"
SLAP
"Vortex Johnson you listen here." Nebula held him by the arms, the taller hound still stunned by the smack upside his face. "We… we're going to make it through this… Okay? Let's just… be calm."
"Ummm, guys?"
"We have someone in Lucifer's ZIPCODE whose going to literally FUCK US TO DEATH!" Vortex hissed. "How can I be calm?!"
"Mr. Vortex? Ms. Yula?" Brief piped up again.
"I mean… I could ask Blitzo's kinda-sorta-on-again-off-again boyfriend." Loona suggested.
"He's a Goetia. Guess who Asmodeus is the King of." Vortex barked out through clenched teeth, and Loona deflated in defeat.
"Fuck..."
"Guys I-"
"WHAT?!" Vortex barked loud, fear in his eyes as Brief held up a Magazine. The one Loona threw away prior as Vortex blinked, as did Nebula. Loona came up close, seeing the page he was on.
THE HAPPY HOTEL!
WHERE SINNERS CHECK IN AND REDEEMED CHECK OUT! A ONE-WAY TICKET TO HEAVEN GUARANTEED!
COME BY PENTAGRAM CITY FOR YOUR FREE TRIAL!
The words were bracketed by sickeningly cute rainbows, puppies, and flowers.
"Maybe… if we go here, this… Charlie Mange could help?" Brief suggested. "Like, if she can guarantee a trip to Heaven, maybe that'll work! I know some people upstairs, too."
"Brief, look," Tex sighed, shaking his head. "I know things are grim right now, but that's probably the worst thing we could possibly do."
"Yeah!" Nebula broke in. "Even if she's serious about trying to redeem people, that's Princess Charlotte!"
"I'd rather take my chances with Ozzie!" Vortex scoffed. "It'd be like hiding in a lion's den to avoid a coyote!"
"Exactly! I mean, even King Asmodeus wouldn't dare to…" Nebula said, trailing off as her eyes went wide. "…mess with her."
Vortex nodded, gesturing at the smiling Demon Princess on the page. "Right? If there's one rock even a Deadly Sin won't overturn it's… that one."
Nebula and Vortex locked eyes, both looking at the advert and then at Brief, cautious smiles spreading across their faces.
"So…" Brief mumbled. "That's a no-go, huh?"
"Brief…" Vortex muttered, walking toward him. "YOU'RE A GENIUS!"
He loosed a hearty chuckle, picking the boy up as he twirled him around in the air, Brief was happy to see Tex snapped out of his panic. "I am?"
"Yes!" Nebula cried. "There's only one place in all of Hell that'd be safe from Ozzie, and it's that ridiculous place! No way he'd barge into Princess Charlotte's pet project and haul away her client! Brilliant!"
"Wait, hang on, going to the Happy Hotel? Are you like, sure this is a good idea?" Loona asked.
"Yeah! My boss mentions how 'nauseatingly' nice Princess Charlotte is!" Vortex declared. "She seems to be on the level about this Hotel of hers and, well, at the very least Brief will be safe until we can figure out a way for him to get home."
"It'll give us some breathing room, at least," said Nebula, sighing in relief before turning to the boy. "What was that about 'friends upstairs', honey?"
"Yeah, I…" Brief's face fell a bit. "Know an Angel. If I could get in touch, maybe she can help? Or she can relay it to a priest I know who gets regular messages from Heaven, but…" He rubbed his arm. "Maybe it's worth a shot?"
An Angel. Brief knows an angel. Loona had the faintest recollection of that. At the time she'd assumed he was just being a romantic schnook, but if his blase attitude about her was any indication, this 'Panty' was the real deal.
'Brief'? 'Panty'? Who named these assholes?!
His face looked pained admitting suggesting it, though. That night when they were talking and she was super drunk but she remembered the tenor of his voice; he sounded a lot worse. Bitter. Resentful. Sad.
Angry.
"Okay." Vortex took a deep breath. "Deep breaths… in and out…" He leaned against the wall, looking exhausted.
"Yeah ummm… so uhhh, do you guys… need anything?" Loona asked.
"Nah, we… should get going." Vortex patted his cheeks and rose. "It might not have gone as planned, but thanks for trying to help at least, Loona," he said, offering his hand.
"No problem, Tex I… sorry I couldn't have helped more." Loona said, shaking his hand but feeling distinctly useless.
"Don't worry about it." Nebula added, walking up. "And… sorry for the blow-up, honey. I get a bit testy when things go sideways, ya know?"
"No, no, I get it, it's cool," Loona said, looking at the Grimoire.
She knew the Portal Spell from the Grimoire by heart, but could there be other spells she could learn. But how? Ask Blitzo to ask Prince Stolas? She'd need a pretty good excuse for the Demon Prince to not immediately shut her down. Maybe… if she buttered Blitzo up enough – calling him 'dad' a few times ought to do the trick – he could find a way to (shudder) 'convince' Stolas to oblige? It's worth a shot.
"Well, we better get going to the Pentagram then. Sinner central." Vortex took a deep breath. "Brief, ya better cover up."
"R-Right." Brief said as he began to put on the beanie and hoodie again. "And Loona, thanks again for everything. I'm sorry I didn't agree with your fancy book, but I know you tried your best."
"Ummm, sure. Don't mention it." She said, blushing slightly, rubbing her arm as she looked to the side. "Tex, you'll keep me in the loop on this, right?"
"Yeah sure. I mean, you're practically knee deep in it with us, so… Yeah, I'll keep ya as clued in best I can. Speaking all code-like."
Loona nodded. "Yeah, makes sense… maybe we can try email via computers? I have my work unit." She gestured to her desktop. "Orrrr Velvette could just backdoor her way in if possible."
"Via the phones…" Nebula murmured.
"If she decides to go that route." Brief suggested. "Maybe make some dummy emails just for PC units? And not have it synced to your phones at all?" He placed on the mouth mask again. "I mean, they probably don't suspect that we know they're looking, so they wouldn't be sifting through all their options. It'd have to be groundline connection, though. Ethernet cables and such. No wifi, public or otherwise."
"Brilliant!" Nebula snapped her fingers. "Brief you are on smart lil cookie." She giggled, beaming at him.
"T-Thanks," He said, blushing under the praise as Nebula led him to the door, hand in hand.
"Okay, so lemme know what your dummy email is. I'll swing by whenever Verosikka is in this studio here to get it." Vortex suggested. "I'll make mine ASAP."
"You got it. And Brief?" Brief turned, and Loona nodded. "Best of luck getting home dude." The boy smiled back, and she can see those green eyes of his behind his bangs.
"Thanks Loona," he said, as he walked through the door with Nebula.
"Peace." Vortex winked, and followed out as the door closed.
Loona took a deep breath, and collapsed on her desk chair and sighed, exhausted. What a rollercoaster! She heard a ping at her desktop as she perked up. Another video uploaded from Blitzo.
"Alrighty! Moxxie, you're up! This time it's a rapist Biker Gang! On the ready…" Blitzo urged as Loona smirked.
Well, she at least got to watch the team's good work. On the screen there was an approaching V-formation of gruff, hairy bikers. Moxxie stood with his back to them, a high-powered rifle perched over his shoulder and a pocket mirror in his outstretched hand. After a second of reckoning, he pulled the trigger, the heavy bullet slamming into the handlebar of the lead chopper, causing it to instantly jackknife at over 100kph. The lead bike slammed into the chopper to the left, causing both to vanish in a tumbling mass of metal and limbs, carving a hole of destruction clear through the formation, bisecting it.
"I'm your Huckleberry," Moxxie drawled, discarding the rifle and stepping out into the middle of the road as the two groups of motorcycles bore down on him, his hands clasping in the air over his pistols. "I got two pistols, one for each of ya."
He drew two black and red Colt M1911s as the bikers sped past, crossing his arms and fired both twice, felling the lead bikers on either side. He angled his arms out in degrees with the rigid speed and precision of a clock as the bikers sped towards him, firing four shots and with each shift in posture. The whole thing took less than five seconds. Of the two-dozen bikers only two remained, fleeing down the highway as fast as their wheels could take them.
Moxxie spun the pistols, ejecting the spent magazines and sheathing new ones from his belt in a single fluid motion. He held his arms out like Christ on the cross and fired four times, headshotting the surviving gang-members attempting to free themselves from the wreck of the initial crash. The others detonated the rear tires of the fleeing choppers, causing them to spin out and tumble at almost 200kph, their riders ground to paste on the blacktop.
Moxxie turned to the camera and smirked, spinning his pistols in opposite directions before sheathing them. "Ain't that a daisy?"
"Mmmmngh Moxxie I love it when you're a COWBOY~" Millie growled from the off the side.
Loona rolled her eyes at his posturing but… Fatty was alright with a gun, she could admit that, at least.
(X)
"Okay… Out of the frying pan, into the inferno," Vortex mused as they rolled onto the highway.
Before long, they had left the boundaries of Imp City and merged onto a major freeway. That was when Brief saw it. The darkest red skies. A mountain(?) looming far away on the flat horizon, a glowing moon-like structure emitting shimmering white light hung high overhead. The mountain seemed to have clouds skirting it, but skylights and circuit-like roads blazing through it. Not a mountain at all, but an immense stepped city rising high into the sky, building up and up upon itself.
"So, that's Pentagram City, home of the Sinners huh?" Brief wondered aloud.
"Yeah… nasty place for Hellborn like us." Nebula said, quietly. "It also has the most opportunities for them too, sadly. Sinners create a lot of jobs there, jobs most lower Hellborn can't get in the other rings, and they pay better overall. Given it's the largest circle city in the largest ring, Hellborn from all over flock there for a chance to make it big."
"More opportunities, but more danger," said Vortex, grimly. "In other rings, higher-caste Hellborn and Royals wouldn't piss on the likes of us if we were on fire. Sinners, though, they'd be more than happy to grab a jerry-can."
"Are you sure I'll be safe at this hotel?" He asked, nervously.
"If Princess Charlotte isn't taking Hell for a ride with this 'redemption' bullshit, there's no safer place in all of Hell," Vortex replied. "But if she's more like her Pops than she lets on… then we'll find another avenue." He took a deep breath, focusing on the road. "We're getting you out of here Brief. One way, or another."
"Yeah," Nebula turned back and set a hand on his knee, the warmest smile he'd ever seen in his life on her face. "Don't you worry about a thing, honey."
Brief wanted to cry, but he couldn't dredge it up, that stubborn numb plug in his chest prevented so much as a sob. So he smiled back under his mask, hoping she could feel it.
"Thanks, you two…" He meant it with every fiber of his being. "For everything."
She nodded, saying nothing as she leaned back an planted a soft kiss on his forehead, caressing the back of his neck(and giving him front row seat to her cleavage). He leaned back, wrapped the blanket over himself and stared out the window, letting Vortex and Nebula play driver and navigator.
Glimpses through his hair and the blanket showed the sky becoming a dark blood-red and them passing the massive walls. They had entered the Pentagram, and unlike Imp City or Houndsville, which were comparable to his own home, this place looked like a twisted macabre nightmare of towering arcane structures. Glowing eyes shifted and blinked from the bleak walls and twisted vicious-looking demonic forms blended into the architecture. Various complexes and districts passed by as he peered out at this new, horrible world.
"So, this is where humans go when they choose Maverick over Paragon?" Brief mused aloud, seeing the zeppelins in the air, showcasing advertisements like McDahmers, Channel 666 news, Big Al's Radio Show, and others. "I could name a few people who just might like this nightmare."
As they sped down the freeway, he could see various Sinners in their vehicles, some mundane yet somehow sinister, others twisted and demented like Mad Max meets Hellraiser. Deformed and monstrous, reminding him of the variety of Ghosts he had faced and purified during his time on Earth. First with the Anarchy Sisters, then again with the Daemon Sisters and Garterbelt.
The few good memories he had were very few. And even some of those were now tainted, spoiled by his new knowledge. Compared to this place, compared to the forces he'd apparently rallied against him, his grand adventures hunting ghosts and stopping Corset all seemed grimly quaint. Like playing JRPG and discovering the vaunted final boss was a mere lackey of an impossibly powerful and ancient being. If it were possible to feel any smaller than he did now, he feared he'd slip into the Quantum Realm.
He saw a giant passenger bus and turned away, trying to ignore the howling and hollering of bloodthirsty Sinners scrabbling inside. He remained frozen, tuning out the half-heard roars and curses of the Damned as Vortex sped along, bobbing and weaving the chaos on the streets like the expert driver he was. He looked up at the passenger side mirror, seeing Nebula and the apprehension on her visage. He couldn't blame her. Vortex remained stone-faced and focused, his claws gripping on the wheel as Nebula gave directions.
Soon they swerved onto a different freeway, no longer heading towards the center of Pentagram City where the mountainous hivecity lay, but veering right of it. East, west, north or south, he couldn't begin to guess.
"Okay… it's this way… Thank Satan traffic is clearing up," Nebula said as they veered off the carpool and into the main lanes.
Many other cars swerved past as Vortex did his best to navigate the fast and tumultuous freeway.
"Hang on," Vortex urged, and Brief's hands dug into the siderest for dear life. They were able to make it over to an offramp, and the boy sighed in relief.
They turned, and Brief can see the various Sinners milling about, doing their business whatever that was. He turned away. Better to not make eye contact, even from a speeding truck.
He flinched when the truck jolted, something bounced off the reinforced grill, the vehicle jumping about as the wheels rolled over it, not slowing down a whit.
"Fresh Faller. Fucking wonderful," Vortex groaned. "Either I'll be up all night with a toothbrush, or I can swing by the Hellevator on our way back. That'll clear away any Sinner gunk in my grill."
"That reminds me, Brief," Nebula said. "If you were in Verosika's car when ya went to the Lust Ring, how come you didn't, like, burn away or something?"
"Ummm…" He had a faint idea, and his thighs rubbed together as he felt his loins tighten up. "N-Not sure. M-maybe because I'm still alive?"
"That's what I figured," said Tex, turning to Yula. "I doubt whoever magicked up that barrier had living humans in mind."
Brief sighed when Nebula seemed to accept this. Honestly, it was a preferable alternative to what he knew in his heart was more likely: the Hell's Monkey.
Telling the only truly decent people he'd ever met 'My dick can open the gates of Hell and that's probably why you're all in danger' was near the bottom of his to-do list. "Maybe Princess Charlotte knows? But, you call her a Princess. Who would her father be again…?"
"Well, she goes by 'Charlie Mange' in public to, I guess, distance her project from her father…" said Vortex, now looking distinctly apprehensive. "…King Lucifer Morningstar."
"…"
Brief leaned back, eyes closed. "So, my only hope to not get vored or whatever, to maybe get home… Is the daughter of the DEVIL HIMSELF?!" He shouted, gesturing at the city outside, to Hell itself. "The guy who rules all of… this?!"
"I know what you're thinking but here's the thing: Lucifer doesn't support this project of hers," Vortex said in assurance. "Like, she made a fool of herself a while back trying to promote her hotel on the news. Got into a whole brawl with Katie Killjoy."
"Pfft, fucking skinny ass bitch deserved that." Nebula chortled.
"Yeah, and it's been slow goings from what I hear. Well, at least from Verosikka's side of things. She even considered making a diss track of her, too," Vortex said. "But, if Lucifer isn't supporting it, that means it's the best place for you to be. Moreover, daddy problems or not, she is Lucifer's daughter. That opens doors. Or, rather, closes them for any of the goons after you. No one, not even Asmodeus himself, is going to cross the Li'l Appleseed, not if it means pissing off Lucifer."
"Are you sure this will work?" Brief asked.
"Let's give it a try. At the very least, well, you're back to living with us. In hiding…" Vortex sighed, glancing back at him. "Just keep an open mind."
Brief sighed, and looked out to the black red sky, doing just that. Open mind. Have an open mind. Every time he did that, whether pining after a certain Angel, or coming up with ways to help them, or even saving all of Creation, it had a way of always backfiring, somehow.
Soon they made a turn, and Brief can see it. A structure that stood out like no other.
It was a tall, baroquely styled hotel with arched stained glass windows bearing slit-pupiled eyes. It towered several stories over the surrounding buildings with multiple floors and balconies sprouting from its structure. Many additions seemed haphazard, absurd, with a protruding tower bearing a radio antenna sprouting from the top. More eccentric was the addition of what appeared to be a carousel jutting from the far side, and a single, warped line of train track complete with locomotive girdling the third floor. Compared to some of the buildings he'd seen in the city, these eccentricities were relatively subdued. Atop the garish building was a glowing neon sign that read 'Happy Hotel', with 'happy' being noticeably dim, flickering. Looming over the sign was another neon word that flickered with an inexplicably malignant light: 'Hazbin'.
"We're here." Vortex said as they parked in a lot outside the front gate. He got out with Nebula, and Brief followed suit. And he felt the oppressive air all around him. Goosebumps rising all over his body like the icy footsteps of a million insects as he followed the two towards the Hotel.
The eyes built into the structure were glassy, literally, just architecture, but he couldn't shake the notion that he was being watched. The massive radio-tower protruding from the Hotel flashed like in old-timey newsreels.
He felt something creep behind him, the air souring, causing him to spin about.
Nothing, just the walkway out to the car and the massive expanse of Pentagram City.
Brief gulped, turning around, unaware of the demonic horned shadow stretched along the ground behind him as though it were his own. It gazed up at him with predatory curiosity and intrigue, its serrated mouth pulled into a gaping grin.
The hound duo got to the door, and the shadow slithered away unnoticed.
Brief took a deep breath as he heard them ring the doorbell. Not one second later the doors blew open.
And triumphant music seemed to be blaring, fireworks and streamers going off.
"Hello hello helloooooo there!" Cheered a sweet, chirruping voice, a red figure twirling and like a ballerina as she jumped through the front entrance, the air around her glowing with magical sparkles, phantasmic unicorns, and shimmering rainbows. "Welcome to the Happy Hotel, where Sinners check in and Redeemed check out! My name is Charlie Mange, and I will be your humble host for as long as you stay! How may I–oh?"
She was tall for a woman by human standards, a little north of six feet by his reckoning. She was dressed in a red three-piece suit, her hair pale blonde with pink highlights. Her flawless skin was alabaster white, her cheeks flush with a red dot on each, giving Brief the impression of a raggedy-Anne doll or a porcelain ballerina. Standing there, surrounded by glowing, phantasmal wing-dings and sparkles, she was quite possibly the most beautiful thing Brief had ever seen.
"You don't look like Sinners? Oh!" She smacked her palm into her open fist, grinning. "Are you here for employment opportunities? Oh, I'd love to have some extra hands on, er, hand!"
"Ummm, no, your Highness," Vortex said, recovering from the barrage of sparkling phantoms and sheer, palpable enthusiasm. Nebula blinked, caught off guard just as her boyfriend was. "We're here-"
"It's alright. Call me Charlie, please," she said, grinning and offering her hand to shake.
Vortex shook it, looking equal parts stunned and charmed.
"Okay, Ms. Charlie. We're here for a friend, actually," Vortex said, his voice low as Charlie blinked.
He stepped aside, and Brief stepped forward, his eyes meeting hers. Her bright eager smile that lit up the entire front porch began to fall, shifting into an expression of utter gobsmacked shock.
"Uhh… h-hello Ms. Charlie," Brief said.
"You're not supposed to be here," she said, her voice low, a far cry from her previous chirping tone. "What… how did you get here?"
For a moment Brief was concerned that his disguise hadn't been as effective as they'd thought, dreading that he'd already been sighted by other, less friendly agents. But, then, he surmised that the fucking Daughter of The Devil probably had a trick or two most demons lacked. Or, he hoped she did. "It's a long story. Please, Ms. Charlie, I… I'm scared."
Charlie reached out and set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He looked up at her and felt as safe as he'd ever felt, gazing into her eyes.
"I'll bet," she said, softly, casting her arm around his shoulders, gesturing to Vortex and Nebula to follow. "Come on in, Mr…?"
"Brief," he said, only now realizing how tired he sounded. "My name is Brief. Briefers Rock."
The blonde in red smiled warmly, and she took his hand, bringing him inside with the two hounds. Without them noticing, she shot a narrow-eyed glare over her shoulder to a mass of shadows writing under their trio's vehicle, red eyes flared in the dark above a leering, mocking grin.
And the light wine and whir of a radio.
She turned back an instant later, smiling brightly as ever. "Well, Brief! Nothing like some cookies and hot cocoa to go with a long story! Make yourself at home, all of you. Don't worry, you're safe here." She held his hand, it was warm and comforting, her eyes starring into his own.
"I promise." Brief had his reservations about people but, when looking into Charlie's eyes.
He believed her. And he smiled softly back.
And the boy who fell from earth, took the first step into the hotel in hell.
And there you have it. Brief checking in with the cast from Hazbin Hotel. Primarily using their TV show designs too and not the Pilot. But yeah, things not looking good for Brief but hey, puppies and rainbow should always help right? Right? How will our boy get along with the other Hotel residents I wonder?
And Some introspection from Loona too. And her being checked out by Brief too. 'tis nice to let the hair down for me on this one I do confess.
Oh, and a check in on Stocking and getting her out of the way. Admitterly it's more a reaction to Episode 8 in S1. Again, Nebula and this story was written before that was released. Refer to the informational in that way.
Anwyays, a big thanks to Wr1teAn0n for his help on this one. He did the first half, I did the latter half. I'll likely do the next chapter again before handing it off to him for a full chapter.
Hope you all enjoyed!