"Anyone want to explain this to me?" said Nabou Fujiyami, CEO of AGES, in Japanese.
He held up his iPhone for the rest of the board members to see. On the screen, a video was playing of news coverage of Shadow's theft. Nabou glanced around the room, awaiting a response.
"Yes, we are aware," said Mr. Hajiyama, Head of Marketing, "We are 90% sure that it was in fact Shadow, not Sonic, who stole from the Federal Reserve, sir."
"Do you take me for an idiot?" roared Fujiyami, as he threw his phone at Mr. Hajiyama's head, "Of course it was Shadow! I want to know why he did this!"
Mr. Hajiyama ducked just in time. The phone hit the wall and broke into a thousand pieces. The room was silent.
"Would you like me to buy you a new iPhone, sir?" said Mr. Hajiyama, bowing his head, a worried look on his face.
"That's okay," said Fujiyami, "I've been wanting to buy the latest model anyway and we don't pay you enough to be able to afford it… Where were we now? Oh, yes. Why the hell did Shadow steal from the Federal Reserve?"
"Well… it could be a number of different things," said Hata Hiroyuki, Vice President, clearing his throat, "He probably just wanted to feel like a badass. You know how he is."
"But I thought we taught him to have honor!" said Fujiyami, "And he goes and does this! Why, if the Americans find out…"
"The Americans are convinced it was Sonic, sir," said Mr. Hajiyami.
"Dumb Americans," said Fujiyami, "They'll believe whatever the media tells them… Now, that brings me to… what about the money?"
"What about the money?" said Hata Hiroyuki.
"What happened to it?" said Fujiyami.
"It's missing, sir," said Hata Hiroyuki.
"I know it's missing, but I mean, it's not like it just vanished into thin air!" said Fujiyami.
"Presumably Shadow has it, sir," said Wakako Hitsune, Head of Security, the only woman at the board meeting.
"Of course he has it!" screamed Fujiyami, making sure to send spit flying in her face with each of his words, "Why'd we even hire this woman in the first place? So Shadow thinks he can hide this money from us, huh? Well, he can't! This is what we're going to do. We're going to send him a talent agent. But this talent agent will actually be a secret agent. And when Shadow least expects it, this secret agent of ours will steal the money from him and head back to Japan to deliver it to us."
"Is that your plan?" said Hiroyuki.
"You got a problem with it?" said Fujiyami, staring down Hiroyuki.
"No, sir, it's just that…" said Hiroyuki.
"That's what I thought," said Fujiyami, cutting him off, "Now, as we all know, the budget is tight. We can't go hiring a secret agent, as much as I would like to. So that means one of you in this room will have to be our agent. Any volunteers?"
The board room was dead silent.
"Hmm, very well then," said Fujiyami, "I guess we'll have to resort to what we always do around here. Drawing straws."