Reviews

Dragon Slayer Ajahn: Noted.

Zoye Zest: I'll consider it.

Now, on with the story!

Chapter 4: The Day Things Changed

Hiccup was walking back to his house when he heard someone call out, "Wolvie!"

Hiccup stopped in his tracks in confusion. He looks left and right. He didn't see anyone. "Right behind you, Bub." said the voice.

"Hey, no one calls me Bub." Hiccup said, turning around before coming face to face with a man dressed in a red suit with a matching mask and black patches and white eye slits. Two black swords were sheathed on his back. He had a red belt and holsters on his thighs.

"Bet you readers didn't see that coming, did you?" Deadpool said to the fourth wall and winked.

"Who in Helheim are you?" Hiccup asked bluntly, his brow furrowing. Why are his instincts telling him to unsheathe his claws on this random person he had never met?

"That's weird to say," Deadpool replied. "Helheim? What, are we in Asgard or something related to Thor." He looks around before turning to Hiccup. "You know, I saw a glimpse of Thor in my future. He was crying as he held me in his arms."

". . . I guess you have a heroic death in Ragnarok," Hiccup replied with a shrug.

"God, I hope it'd make the theaters cry more than what Robert and my ex did in Endgame," Deadpool replied, looking around at the village. "So where are we? It looks a little old fashioned. And on an island."

"This is Berk," Hiccup replied with a shrug. "It's twelve days north of Hoplessness and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian-"

"-Of Misery!" Deadpool finished, turning around with wide eyes and gasping dramatically, hands on his cheeks. "Oh my God of Marvel! I'm in a Dreamworks production related fanfic!"

"Uh, no, I'm pretty sure we're in Midgard," Hiccup said in confusion. What was this man talking about?

Deadpool ignores him and pulls the fourth wall away from Hiccup's face to focus on him. Good thing he is wearing his mask or this would be disturbing for younger audiences. "GojiraRWBYMarvelDC181920, thank you." he said. "I don't understand the name choice, but whatever. You officially helped me cross the threshold of another studio!"

He starts counting on his hand. "Fox, Marvel, Disney and now Dreamworks!" he said and looks to the fourth wall. "I was hoping it would be Sony, but I'm not too picky. Dreamworks has been succeeding where Disney has failed over the past half decade."

He ain't wrong.

Hiccup stared and stared, blinking his emerald eyes owlishly. What was this man talking about? Why was he holding his hands up like he was holding a book or something.

"It is not a book," Deadpool said, turning to Hiccup. "And it's not a wall. It's a big open window only I can see." He holds a thumbs up to the author. "Nice reference to Art Spear Entertainment."

Hiccup tilted his head like a confused pup before shaking his head. "We're getting off track, who are you?"

"I. . . am the Messiah of the MCU." Deadpool replied in a dramatic tone and put his hands on his hips. "I am. . . Marvel Jesus."

Hiccup narrowed his eyes and unsheathed his claws on instinct. Something triggered him on some instinct to attack the strange man in the mask.

"I wonder what would happen if I left Laura with you-? Oh. So you're still at that stage," Deadpool stated, looking a little disappointed at the sight of Hiccup's claws. "Not the Wolvie my world needs. Well, maybe I'll come back when you have some kind of metal on those twigs." He steps back as Hiccup charges to him at full speed.

"Sorry, I just can't take a teenage Wolverine seriously, even if he's charging at me with murderous intent," Deadpool began to laugh. "The claws just don't look intimidating without looking like stake knives even if your animation is pretty good for 2010 and you have the body of Spider-Oh my God!" Hiccup jumped and stabbed Deadpool in the chest with his claws, tackling him to the ground. Hiccup growled to his masked face. "Get off my island."

Then he lifted the man above his head and threw him down the hill where Deadpool began to roll. "Good luck on your HTTYD adventures," Deadpool called back to Hiccup as he rolled down the hill. "Since you're a Wolvie, I'm sure they're going to be very different compared to Dreamworks' pg-13 schtick!"

A portal opened up at the bottom of the hill and Deadpool rolled into it. "See ya later, The Soccerer's Apprentice!" With that he was gone.

Hiccup stared before looking at his claws. "Metal on these?" He muttered to himself before humming in thought, sheathed his claws and continued walking to his house.

. . . Why did he call me The Sorcerer's Apprentice?

It would be over 15000 years later when I would learn what that was.

What you may or may not know is that Vikings and the Roman Empire have met a couple of times before. And not really in peaceful situations either.

One situation was when me, Fishlegs and a couple of Viking tribe heirs were once kidnapped by the Romans when I was younger and after I grew claws.

Bottom line, in the words of one of the heirs, we became Rome's most wanted. I didn't think too much about that at the time.

I would learn that it was true, a few days later the following week after meeting that man in red.

And then I'd meet the biggest pain I have ever met. Moreso than Snotlout or the Thorston Twins.

"You know, I noticed the book had nothing on Night Furies," Hiccup called out to Gobber, the young Viking teen standing in a maze during Dragon Training. "Is there another book? Like a sequel? Maybe a little Night Fury pamphlet?"

Just then magnesium fueled dragon fire blasted at the wall next to him, causing him to duck. "Woah!" he exclaimed. He looks to see that his ax was destroyed. "Oh, come on."

"Focus, Hiccup!" Gobber called from wherever he was on the spectators' stands of the Kill Ring. "You're not even trying!"

"Not entirely true!" Hiccup said as he saw the dragon of the class in front of him. The Deadly Nadder of the Sharp Class Dragons.

"I see you!" the Nadder squawked at Hiccup from her perch before she jumped down and began to charge at the teen like an enraged yak. "Oh, I love being in the Maze! It's so much fun!"

Hiccup feinted going left before going right, avoiding the dragon's bird like jaws. "Today is all about attack!" Gobber reminds the class. The Nadder dragon jumped back on the walls.

From the sound of Fishlegs' yelp, the Nadder's screech of "I see you, you fat Viking hatchling! Think fast!" followed by Fishleg's scream and the noise of barbs being thrown, Hiccup deduced that the dragon stopped chasing him and found Fishlegs.

"I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods!" Fishlegs called from wherever he was.

"Bub, I've been questioning his teaching methods since I was seven years old." Hiccup remarked as he jogged. "And I would have thought you'd question them on the first day."

"I certainly am!" Ivar called from wherever he was in the maze.

"Look for its blind spot," Gobber said, sounding bored at all the performances he's been seeing. "Every dragon has one."

Hiccup ran past the Thorston Twins, who for some reason, thought it was a good idea to run down the path Hiccup had come from and came face to face with the Deadly Nadder. "Find it. Hide in it. And strike."

Hiccup heard the Twins argue and fight again, despite the fact the Sharp Class dragon was merely two feet from them. He sighed heavily as the dragon herself reminded the Thorstons that she was right there before trying to roast them alive.

"Blind spot, yes." Gobber said in regards to the Twins' performance. "Deaf spot? Not so much."

Hiccup paused while running and glanced up at him. "So, how would one sneak up on a Night Fury?"

"No one has ever met one and lived to tell the tale. Now, get in there!" Gobber snapped.

"Why don't you come down here and make me, ya Meatheaded Bub?" Hiccup retorted. "I'm just asking a hypothetical question to the teacher of Dragon Training about a dragon everyone seems to be scared shitless about, even your great-great-great grandfather was scared to even write about."

"Who ya callin' Meathead, Toothpick?" Gobber called back.

"A big fat old man that seems to be more belly than limbs and face," Hiccup snarked. "And he smells like five outhouses dumped in one."

"Hiccup!"

"What? It's true." Hiccup turned around and saw Astrid and Snotlout pressed against a wall. "Get down!" Astrid said urgently. Snotlout nods his head in agreement.

Hiccup sighs and walks to their side. He hears the Nadder dragon prowling around the corner that Astrid peaked at before ducking down.

As she peaked again, Hiccup leaned in behind her to look at the dragon. "Oh come on, she's not even looking in this direction," Hiccup said to her before walking across the pathway to the other side.

The two teens looked at him in surprise before Astrid rolled her eyes. She then cartwheels across the pathway. Hiccup rolls his eyes while muttering, "Show off."

Snotlout follows her example and looks at them with a smug expression. The Haddock and Hofferson rolled their eyes in exasperation and turned around.

Only for the Deadly Nadder to land in front of them with her wings spread. "You shall not pass!"

Both Hiccup and Astrid entered battle stances before Hiccup faltered and glanced at the shaft of his ax handle. What the Hel can he do with a stick like this?

Just then Snotlout shoved them both, though Hiccup was actually shoved to the wall. "Hey!" Astrid exclaimed indignantly.

"Relax, babe. I got this!" Snotlout said cockily before throwing his mace.

It soared right past the Sharp Class Dragon's head and hit the wooden maze wall behind her. The Nadder dragon stopped to glance at the mace before looking back at Snotlout and laughed, "LAMEST. THROW. EVER."

"You were saying, Bub?" Hiccup deadpanned to his mutton head of a cousin while Astrid glared at the Jorgenson teen.

"The Sun was in my eyes," he protested.

"Sun? What Sun?! It's been cloudy and foggy all the freaking day!" Hiccup snapped. Astrid glanced up and saw that the Viking heir had a point. It was cloudy and foggy all day.

"I-I-I, uh. . . shut up, Useless." Snotlout stuttered before the dragon reminded the three of them that she had not moved from her spot with, "I'm still standing here, you fools!" And then she blasted her magnesium fueld fire at them.

"Incoming!" Hiccup shouted, pulling Astrid out of the way while Snotlout dodged the fire stream.

Hiccup ran before seeing Gobber again. "How have people not DIED in your class?" he asked as he ran.

"He's got a point! I'm surprised anyone has trusted you to be a teacher!" Ivar shouted before he was knocked down by the Deadly Nadder.

"Hey!" Gobber shouted.

Hiccup then ran to the left, Astrid to the right. Based on her scream, the Nadder dragon decided to chase her. Hiccup ran back to Gobber.

"Night Furies, they take the day off like a bat, right?" Hiccup asked, ignoring the sounds of things falling down or the teens that ran past him. "Has anyone ever seen one napping?"

"Hiccup!" Gobber pointed behind him.

The young Haddock turned around and saw nothing but the wall in front of him. Before he saw that it was falling down towards him. Backing up, he saw Astrid climbing onto the top before she jumped off as it fell down to avoid the Nadder's jaws. "Hiccup!" she shouted.

"Ah yak shit," Hiccup muttered. He dropped his shield and thought to himself, This is going to hurt.

The two fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs and then Hiccup felt a sharp pain in his left arm. Pain that actually made him howl in agony.

"Hiccup!" Gobber shouted before he began to race to the front gates.

"Ooh! Love on the battle-Holy yak shit! He's bleeding!" Tuffnut began to tease Astrid and Hiccup upon seeing their position on the ground before he saw the former's ax blade wedged in the latter's left forearm.

Astrid glanced down and saw her ax in Hiccup's arm. She recoils. "Oh my gods! Hiccup!" she exclaimed.

"Huh? Are you okay?" Hiccup heard the Nadder dragon chirp from somewhere in the Kill Ring.

"Oh Thor! Oh Thor!" Fishlegs exclaimed in worry and concern.

Then Hiccup was picked up by Gobber. "Don't worry, Hiccup. You'll be fixed up in a jiffy." the blacksmith said as he ran to the gates. Ivar grabbed onto the ax's handle and pulled it out of Hiccup's forearm, he dropped it as they left the arena.

Gobber and Ivar ran across the village in under five minutes. I honestly had no idea Gobber could move that fast with a peg leg and a fat bod like his.

"Gobber, you can put me down," Hiccup said as they reached the walkway to Gothi's hut. The pain is gone now. Just a dull ache that was slowly subsiding. "Gobber, put me down."

"No! I'm not putting you down like a dog!" Gobber said as he ran. "I know you use your left hand for everything, but I'm sorry, we may have to amputate it."

"Wha-? No, I mean put me down on the ground," Hiccup said, wiggling out of Gobber's grip, which was easy given that he had one hand. He covered his left forearm with his hand and his fur vest.

"Wha-? . . . Hiccup, why aren't you screaming or passed out from the pain?" Gobber asked. His concern was now replaced by confusion. The boy should be screaming in pain if not passed out.

"I. . . " Hiccup trailed off before sighing. He shares a look with Ivar who looks just as confused before he drops his vest from his left arm.

"It doesn't hurt anymore, Uncle Gobber. Look." he said softly as he pulled his hand away from where Astrid's battle ax had been. The sleeve was soaked in blood, but there was no exposed flesh or bone that was split open. Hiccup's arm was intact as if nothing happened to it, saved for the stained tunic sleeve. "See? It doesn't hurt anymore."

Gobber's blue eyes widened and his jaw dropped in a shocked expression, his stone tooth fell out as well. He stared at Hiccup's arm, barely blinking. Ivar stared with his eyes widening as well. Well, that's new, he thought. I thought he just had claws like me.

"I-I know, I'm just as shocked." Hiccup admitted. And that was the honest truth. ". . . To be honest, I didn't even think that I could heal from something like this."

And that was also true. How could he know he would heal from something like that?

"Wait, what?" Gobber blinked rapidly. "What do you mean?"

Rolling up his sleeve, Hiccup silently grabbed his dagger and sliced it across his forearm, making himself grimace. An open wound was left behind by the action but it quickly sealed back up, not even a white scar line was left. It was if time reversed itself.

Ivar furrowed his brows and unsheathed his own claws, drawing Gobber's attention. The orphaned teen slashes across his forearm, leaving five gashes and like Hiccup, his skin heals back up as if nothing happened.

"By the Allfather," Gobber mutters in awe and shock, looking between Hiccup and Ivar.

"Ye-Yeah," Hiccup nodded. "It sure comes in handy, whether with accidents in the forge, a dragon manages to hit me with its fire or talons, or with Snotlout and the Twins when they really want to let out a lot of steam."

". . . Do you feel pain?" Gobber asked in concern.

"Oh yeah. Pain." Hiccu nodded his head. "Plenty of pain. Pain's just an old friend that reminds me that they exist." That's the truth. Even if he heals quicker than most, from about anything apparently, he would feel the pain. The pain from hot or razor metal, from the fire, sharp talons and from every punch and kick given by Snotlout and the Thorston Twins. He can feel it all.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Nope. No one, not even the Chief knows about this but you and Ivar." replied Hiccup, briefly he pondered to tell or rather show Gobber his claws. Before he could say anything, a scent hit his nostrils. It was faint in the wind, almost hardly noticeable to Hiccup's sense of smell.

He turned around and looked out to the sea. "Hiccup?" Gobber asked but the teen held a finger to him without looking away from the sea.

"What is it?" Ivar asked quietly.

Hiccup sniffed the air deeply. "Ships, but. . . " he trailed off. He could smell ships coming. He thought that meant that Stoick's voyage to Helheim's Gate was coming back, but he couldn't recognize the scent of the people on the ships. They weren't Berserkers, not Meatheads, nor Bog Burglars. Slowly, it dawned on Hiccup that he did recognize the scent.

Romans. They weren't the same people, sure, but they had the same distinct scent that they came from the same territory the Romans Hiccup had met in the past.

"Romans," Hiccup said out loud.

"Romans? This far north?" Gobber asked in confusion and disbelief.

"Gobber, sound the alarm." Hiccup said as he walked forward. "Get all the remaining warriors, including the teens."

"Hiccup, what are you thinking of doing?" Gobber asked.

Hiccup turned around and gave his mentor/uncle a smirk. A smirk he gave when he was scheming. If Gobber had to choose between a scheming Hiccup or a hungry dragon, he'd pick the dragon, even if it was a Night Fury and tell everyone else to do the same. "I'll try to slow them down."

With that, he jumped off the cliff and down towards the water.

Back in the Kill Ring, the other Viking teens hadn't really moved from their spot. Rephrase, they now stood outside of the Arena and Astrid just stared at her battle ax, its blade still stained with blood. Hiccup's blood.

". . . He wouldn't hate you, you know." Snotlout said to her quietly. "It's Hiccup. He'll bounce back with sarcasm and dry humor. That's what he always does."

"Except he's never had his arm removed," Astrid replied, bringing her hands to her head. "Gods, I-It was his left arm. . . That's his dominant arm." she mutters. "What if. . . what if he gets angry or resentful?"

Snotlout looks uncertain how to answer. But then Gobber's voice is heard faintly, shouting, "Invaders! Invaders to the south!"

"Dragons?" Fishlegs gasped. Astrid looked to the south and saw the ships.

"Nope, it's a different kind of invader," the blonde shieldmaiden replied. She turns to the others as the warning signal blows. "Get your weapons. Go!"

Hiccup broke through the surface of the water with a gasp before he swam towards the back of one of the Roman ships. The Viking runt unsheathed his claws and stabbed them through the hull of the ship in three different spots. He then jumped onto the ship and quickly killed the helmsman via stabbing him in the stomach and then stabbing him in the throat before throwing him overboard.

"Oh man, that actually happened." Hiccup said to himself. "I actually did it."

Something primal within Hiccup was deeply satisfied with this. Perhaps it's the Viking within him that was glad to finally shed the blood of his enemy. Or something else.

He looked in front of himself and saw Roman soldiers had noticed his presence. He grins like a wolf seeing his next meal.

"You want to fight a Viking?!" he shouts, unsheathing his claws. "FIGHT ME!" He then jumped as high as he could and swung his claws at the closest Roman.

The remaining warriors of Berk were not a lot, adding in the teenagers didn't do anything to change that. But then a snow storm hit the Viking village without warning. Not even Bucket's well, bucket predicted the sudden change in weather.

"SNOW DAY!"

The person responsible? He's a fourteen year old boy with snow white hair and blue eyes with a frost covered blue cloak over his shoulders and a red tunic and dark red pants with boots. A large wooden staff was strapped to his back, two swords and four daggers on his belt with a quiver of arrows with a bow.

"If you're happy and you know it, stab a random person!" Jack Frost sang as he stabbed a sword through a random Viking. Actually, it wasn't a random Viking at all. "If you're happy and you know it's because you've been cast as the Merc with a Mouth in this fanfic, Spartan kick a random dude off a cliff." Jack does exactly that. It wasn't like King Leonidas, but impressive nonetheless.

"Thank you, Mr. G!" Jack said to the Author before looking to the fourth wall. "Oh hello there, Readers. I bet you're surprised that I, Jack Frost, was cast as this world's Merc with a Mouth. It must be ironic, me whose actor worked with the actor who acted as Wolverine in a different Dreamworks movie. Right? I bet you're also confused why I don't look like a tumor covered avocado. Well, that's because-" he paused in mid sentence. ". . . Actually, I can't tell you why other than I'm a spirit and yet at the same time, I'm not. Any complaints? If so, nobody cares! Now let's get this show on the road!"

. . . Jack, that wasn't a random Viking you killed.

"Oh really? He looked pretty extra to me," Jack paused and turned around.

It was Mildew.

". . . Eh." Jack shrugs after a moment. "Not like he's so important to the fandom."

I mean, you're not wrong, but he wasn't supposed to die here. I had a plan for him to die later on.

"Really? Let me see the script," Jack reached into the fourth wall and pulled a large packet of paper. He puts on a pair of reading glasses over his eyes as he reads through the script. "Gift of the Night Fury. . . Book of Dragons. . . Riders of Berk, aha! Here it is. . . Uh-huh." he says to himself, flipping through the pages. "Uh-huh. . . Well, it was a pretty good story arc there. Sounds pretty inspired by another fanfic."

Thanks. And yes, it was inspired by another fanfic. But now he's dead. What am I supposed to do?

"Call the TVA when this chapter's over." Jack shrugged.

. . . That might work.

"Cool," Jack nodded his head before he looked over to the battling Romans and Vikings. He turns to the now very dead Mildew before looking back at the fourth wall. "There are 206 bones in the human body." he said like a science teacher would. "207 when I watch Gossip Girl."

. . . (Sighs.) I know where this is going. Just remember not to kill the important characters

"Which isn't much," Jack replied as he looked at the Vikings. Bucket and Mulch were fighting the Romans with Gobber and Ivar with Gustave was somewhere in the village, then there was Astrid and the other teens. Everyone else was fair game. He looks back at Mildew's corpse. "Well, Mildew, looks like you're still going to be useful for the plot after all." He picks up the lanky dead Viking elder by the arm. "Maximum effort." he added before looking at the fourth wall. "Muscians, hit it."

A group of slugs that were nearby began to sing "Bye-Bye-Bye" from NSYNC and vocalize perfect imitations of the music of the song.

Hey, hey!

Bye-Bye-Bye! Bye-Bye-Bye!

Bye-Bye!

With that he jumped into the air and landed closer to the battling Romans and Vikings. "Wait!" he shouted, getting everyone else's attention with a hand up. "I bet you're wondering why I am wearing red. Well, that's so bad guys don't see me bleed." He points to Fishlegs. "Chubby's got the right idea. He brought the brown shirt and pants."

I'm doing this tonight! You're probably going to start a fight! I know this can't be right!

"My mom just says I'm husky," Fishlegs said in an offended tone.

Hey, Baby! Come on! I loved you endlessly when you weren't there for me! So now it's time to leave and make it alone!

"Potato, you say. I say patoto." Jack said dismissively. "Now, I'm only going to be using only one weapon against you guys." he holds up Mildew's body. "And don't worry, he's very dead so he won't be complaining."

I know that I can't take no more! It ain't no lie! I want to see you out that door!

". . . I'd be celebrating right now, if I didn't know the lad just said he's goin' to use Mildew as a weapon," Gobber said to the teens. "It's bad enough I got to look at his ugly mug, now it's going to be used as a club."

Baby, Bye-Bye!

Jack looked at Mildew's pale face. He almost recoiled at how hideous the old man's face looked like up close. "Be thankful that you're going to be more useful in death than you were in life." he said bluntly before swinging the old man's lanky body as a club and swung it at the face of the closest Viking with the force of a war hammer.

Hiccup held back the dagger of a man as he was pinned against the mast of the boat. He grits his teeth as the man tries to push the dagger closer to Hiccup's throat, a sword already lodged in his chest.

I don't want to be a fool for you! Just another player in your game for two!

SHRRKT! SHRRKT! SHRRKT!

SHRRKT! SHRRKT! SHRRKT!

You may hate me but it ain't no lie! Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye!

Bye-Bye!

Hiccup's claws unsheathed in front of the man's face, surprising him. Growling, Hiccup planted both feet on the man's chest before kicking him away from him. With a primal yell, Hiccup charged forward and stabbed the Roman soldier in the chest and stomach.

I don't really want to make it tough! I just want to tell you that I've had enough! It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie!

Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye!

As the man slumped down, dead, Hiccup pulled the sword out of his chest and then he looked at the dead soldiers that littered the deck. He looked at himself and his damaged tunic and vest and sighed. Great. He looked out to see the other ships that had reached Berk's docks.

"Fuck," Hiccup whispered before jumping off the ship and swimming for shore.

You just hit me with the truth! Now girl, you're more than welcome to! So give me one good reason!

Baby, come on!

Jack cut Mildew's bony fingers off his right hand and then threw them at the Vikings in front of him like throwing knives. Next, he took one of his swords and sliced Mildew's legs off and used them both as nunchuks against Ruffnut and Tuffnut.

I've lived for you and me! And now I come to see that life would be much better once you're gone!

At one point, the boots came flying off when Ruffnut was kicked in the face. "Ew! Ew! I can smell why he's called Mildew!" Jack gagged in disgust. "Oh God, I think I'm going to hurl. Ugh, fuck, that shit is disgusting."

Jack, you're in the Viking Age, remember?

"Oh right." Jack said and replayed the act. "Oh gods, I think I'm going to hurl. Ugh, fuck, that yak dung is disgusting." He looks to the Fourth Wall. "And given that Gobber is forced to take a bath once a year, that is saying something."

I know that I can't take no more! It ain't no lie! I want to see you out that door! Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye!

He then took Mildew's head and spine and used it as a ball chain and whacked it across Snotlout's face, breaking the Jorgenson boy's nose.

I don't want to be a fool for you! Just another player in your game for two! You may hate me but it ain't no lie! Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye! Bye-Bye!

Jack then begins to dance to the song he only he can hear much like Fox-MCU Deadpool. Astrid, Fishlegs and Gobber look at him with utter confusion as he picks up Mildew's staff and begins to dance with it.

"Dance off, America," Jack said to Astrid. "Me and you."

I don't really want to make it tough! I just want to tell you that I've had enough! Might sound crazy but it ain't no lie! Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye!

Astrid stared at Jack, blinking owlishly before Gobber held a hand out to her. "Don't worry, Lass. I'll handle the lunatic." the blacksmith said. "He will pay for what he's done to Mildew."

Jack turned to the Fourth Wall. "He doesn't really mean that." he said. "Mildew is hated by everyone. There's some reason other than the smell why he's called the Unpleasant. How he had three wives in the past is beyond my understanding."

The same for all of us.

I'm giving up, I know for sure! I don't want to be the reason for your love no more!

Bye-Bye!

I'm checking out, I'm signing off. I don't want to be the loser, and I've had enough!

Meanwhile Hiccup was running up the pathway from the docks and shoved a Roman off the walkway as he reached the top. Seeing another in front of him about to kill a Viking, he unsheathed his claws and stabbed the enemy soldier in his feet before stabbing him in the knees. As the man screamed in pain and leaned down, Hiccup then stabbed him in the neck and chest.

I don't want to be your fool in this game for two! So I'm leaving you behind!

(Bye-Bye-Bye!)

He looked down to the Viking the Roman was about to kill, Dogsbreath. "You alright, Bub?" Hiccup asked him bluntly.

I don't want to make it tough! (Make it tough!) But I've had enough and it ain't no lie!

The young Viking teen stared at Hiccup and slowly nodded his head. Hiccup nodded back to him. "Good." With nothing else to say, Hiccup went back to running like Tom Cruise.

Jack took Gobber's hook hand and peg leg and used them as blunt weapons to knock out Mulch.

I don't want to be a fool for you! Just another player in your game for two!

"I am so sorry about this," Jack said, whacking Bucket on his bucket with Gobber's hook. "I'm supposed to be fighting the extras, but most of them are fighting the Romans and there isn't much for me to fight."

"Oh, it's okay." Bucket said innocently before he was hit in the face and he falls down, unconscious.

I don't want to be your fool! But it ain't no lie!

"Now, where's America?" Jack asked Fishlegs Ingerman. "Where is she?"

"I-I-I don't know who you're talking about." Fishlegs stuttered a response.

Baby, Bye-Bye-Bye!

Bye-Bye!

"Oh yeah, that's right." Jack said in realization. "I'm sorry, Bonecrusher. You can go about your day." Then he headbutts Fishlegs before tossing him aside. He then begins to quote Troy. "Is there no one left?! Is there anyone left to challenge me!"

Astrid was battling a Roman soldier that forced her to the cliff behind her. And she was getting closer and closer being pushed off.

"You look thirsty, Viking," the Roman said to Astrid. "Go take a drink!" Then she was shoved off the cliff.

Astrid's eyes widened in fear before someone grabbed her hand before she fell out of reach of the cliff. She looked down at the river and up to the person who had just saved her.

"You're not thirsty to try and drink the entire ocean dry, right?" Hiccup remarked.

Astrid stared up at him in shock as a part of her realizes that she was held by his left arm, the one her ax had severed. Or was it should have severed. But then she sees the Roman soldier behind him. "Hiccup! Look out!"

I don't really want to make it tough! I just want to tell you that I've had enough!

The soldier plunged his spear through Hiccup's torso and into the ground. Hiccup cried out in pain. He squeezes Astrid's wrist instead of letting go however.

"Swing your ax," he growled. Astrid looks up at him in confusion. "What?"

"Swing your ax!" Hiccup shouted before pulling her back up and throwing her at the Roman soldier and she quickly realizes what Hiccup was saying and swung her ax and decapitated the man.

She pants heavily as the Roman falls down, dead. She slowly turns around, hesitant and expecting to see Hiccup's now dead body, instead she sees the Haddock pulling himself off the spear's shaft and the stab wound that should be fatal for the boy heals up, leaving no trace that it happened.

"H-Hiccup, w-what?" Astrid stammered in disbelief.

It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie!

"I'll explain later, come on!" Hiccup said urgently, his claws unsheath and he runs over to Jack who is kicking Mildew's head up in the air like a soccer ball with his knees.

"Madonna outside the box!" Jack cries out as he kicks Mildew's head off into the distance. "GOAL!"

Bye-Bye!

And then six claws stab through his chest. "Ow! You backstabbing son of a bitch!" he shouted as Hiccup lifted him off the ground. Jack somersaulted behind him, took out his staff and pulled Hiccup to the ground.

"Pin cushion!" Jack said as he pulled out six arrows from his quiver and stabbed them into Hiccup's chest and stomach one by one. "A gift from Green Arrow! Hawkeye! Katniss Snow! Neytiri! Artemis! And Merida!"

Hiccup cried out in pain. "Are you dead?" Jack asked like a certain cat from the movies about The Smurfs.

Hiccup slammed the back of his head against Jack's face before he got back on his feet, grabbed Jack by his legs and spun around and threw him across the Plaza and his back slammed against the rockwall next to the stairs that led to the Great Hall. Some rocks fell away to reveal a cave painting of three mammoths, two opposums, a sloth and a sabertooth cat.

"Ugh, Rest in pieces, Ice Age, you should have stopped at three." Jack said upon seeing the cave painting as he rose to his feet. "And RIP Blue Sky Studio."

He looks ahead and sees Hiccup standing less than twenty feet from him. The Romans and Vikings all stopped fighting and watched in surprise and shock as five arrows were forced out of Hiccup's chest and stomach and dropped at his feet. Ivar walks up to stand next to Hiccup. "You alright?"

"Never better," Hiccup retorted.

The slugs look between the two with nervous expressions before they begin to sing and vocalize again. This time they were covering the song "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes.

Jack tilted his head in thought. "I don't want to fight you, kids." he called out. "I need your help!"

Hiccup pulled an arrow out of his shoulder with his teeth. "I don't fucking care." he said, his teeth holding the arrow shaft before spitting the arrow out and crouching down with a glare. He shares a look with Ivar who crouched down beside him. They both nod at one another.

"Was I hallucinating or did that just happen?" Snotlout asked, holding his broken nose.

"Hiccup is still living from having six arrows in his chest and stomach?" Ruffnut asked.

"Or that he still has his left arm?" Fishlegs asked.

"Nah, we saw it too," Tuffnut replied.

I'm gonna fight them off! A seven nation army couldn't hold me back!

"Oohh sshhiiitt." said Jack as he watches nervously as both Ivar Hiccup's claws unsheath, now in daylight, the Haddock's claws don't look like they are made of bone. They almost appear to be made of metal. Like another Viking Wolverine!

Astrid glanced to the side and saw the group of slugs that were singing. A few of them looked up at her and smiled smugly.

They're going to rip it off! Taking the time right behind my back! And I'm talking to myself at night! Because I can't forget!

"Okay, you know what?" Jack asked, reaching out to grab his bow. "Fuck it. Let's give the readers what they want!"

Back and forth through my mind, behind a cigarette!

Hiccup grins ferally like a wolf that was eager to kill his prey. "Let's fucking go."

Ivar smiles, two canines extending into fangs. "Let's fucking go."

And the message coming from my eyes says "Leave it alone."

Jack turns to the fourth wall. "Get your special sock out nerds. It's going to get good."

The Winter Merc with a Mouth then pulls out three arrows and notches them in his bow. "Cinder Fall sends her regards!" he shouted before firing at Hiccup.

Don't wanna hear about it! Every single one's got a story to tell! Everyone knows about it! From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell.

Two arrows hit their mark on Hiccup shoulder, the third grazes his arm. Hiccup growls before sheathing his claws, the arrows falling out of his shoulder, and then both him and Ivar are now running to Jack on all fours, dodging the next arrows fired at him before Hiccup jumps at Jack with a lunge and unsheaths his claws and sliced the bow in half with his right claws and the bowstring with his left claws as he flies past Jack. Ivar slides past him and then slashes his claws across Jack's ribs.

And if I catch it coming my way, I'm gonna serve it to you! And that ain't what you want to hear but that's what I'll do!

"Oh man!" Jack said, looking at the useless bow in his hands before tossing it aside as Hiccup lunges at him. He pulls out his staff and spins in his hands like Darth Maul.

"Bring it on, Tropic Thunder and Kingpin," Jack said tauntingly.

And the feeling in my bones says "Find a home."

Growling, Hiccup swings his claws at Jack who blocks and deflects each strike with his staff. Hiccup then interlocks his claws with the staff. Jack grins though and spins his staff, forcing Hiccup's arms to entangle themselves because his claws. His right hand pointed downwards and his left arm twisted around it and pointed upwards. Like what Randall had done to Mike Wazoski.

I'm going to Witchita! Far from this opera forevermore!

Hiccup cried out in pain before sheathing his claws and then punched Jack in the face before unsheathing his left claws and stabbing Jack in the chest. Ivar then stabbed Jack in the back with his claws. He lifts the Winter Merc With A Mouth above his head and then slams him headfirst into the ground.

Jack backflipped away and pulled out one of his swords and deflects Hiccup's claws before spinning around and sending his second sword flying off his back. With no glitch in the animation like in the last MCU film, Jack catches the sword in his hand while in slow motion before he spends back around to deflect and parry Hiccup and Ivar's claws while walking backwards.

I'm gonna work the straw!

Hiccup jumps in the air, spinning with his claws out at Jack who blocks each slash before Hiccup lands back on the ground.

Make the sweat drip out of every pore!

Jack then makes an 'X' with his swords to interlock with Hiccup's claws. He moves the swords around, twisting Hiccup's left hand counterclockwise and making the Viking teen cry out in pain before he sheaths his claws and then punched Jack in the face twice before unsheathing his claws and stabbing the Winter Merc in the chest and then he repeatedly stabs Jack in the chest with his right hand claws.

Jack cries out in pain before slicing across Hiccup's chest and then stabbing him through his throat. Hiccup grits his teeth in pain as he grabs the blade stabbing in his throat before blocking the other sword with his right hand.

Jack then dodges Ivar's claws before stabbing the older teen in the chest. He then plunged his other sword in Hiccup's chest. Growling, Hiccup stabbed Jack in the ribs with his claws while Ivar grabbed onto Jack's throat with one hand and then grabbed the base of his spine with the other.

"Damn, we are quite the threesome here, aren't we?" Jack asked Hiccup in a teasing manner, looking back and forth between the Haddock and Walker teens.

Both Hiccup and Jack glare before the Viking kicks the mercenary away, along with pulling his sword out of his chest. Jack cartwheels to the side when Hiccup slashes his claws at his achillees tendon, kicking Hiccup in the face twice before his foot heals back up. He then slashed his swords at Hiccup's eyes. And does the same with Ivar.

And I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding!

Hiccup stumbles back and turns around. He's blind! Then his back is slashed before his eyes heal up and then a sword is stabbed through his back and out his chest. Ivar rubs his eyes before realizing that they were growing back.

Right before the Lord!

"Ew!" Jack said while laughing.

Growling, Hiccup turns around to slash at Jack who ducks down and stabs Hiccup in the chest and out his back. Hiccup cries out in pain and swung his claws at Jack who got in real close to Hiccup.

All the words are gonna bleed from me! And I will think no more!

"Baby knife!" Jack said as he takes out one of his daggers and then stabs the blade in Hiccup's shoulder.

And the stains coming from my blood tell me

Ignoring the pain, Hiccup raised an eyebrow at Jack. "That's not a baby knife, Bub. This is." He pulls out his dagger from his belt and stabs Jack in the stomach before stabbing him again in the chest with his claws.

"Gah! Fuck, you're right! That is a baby knife!" Jack cried out in pain.

"Go back home!"

He raises his left hand claws up. "Let's see if you can grow your head back." He snarled.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jack said, waving his hands at Hiccup frantically. "I need your help!"

"Help with what?" Hiccup said.

"Free my tribe!" Jack said. "We're Vikings, like you and your people and they're enslaved by the Romans down in the south."

Hiccup paused and looked at Jack. "You're a Viking?" Ivar asked in a skeptic tone.

"Yeah," Jack grunted as he pulled himself off of Hiccup's claws. "I couldn't fight the Romans alone, but you, Ivar the Boneless 2.0 and me, we can drive them off for good and free my tribe."

Hiccup stared down at him before slowly sheathing his claws and nods at Jack and Ivar. Ivar stares at him before slowly nodding his head. The two of them then turn to the Romans. "Who's next?" Hiccup asked.

He got his answer with a wooden stake thrown at him and it hit him in the shoulder. Hiccup stumbled back before he pulled it out and looked where it came from.

A Roman soldier that seemed to grow wooden stakes or spikes out of his palm and throw them like knives.

"It's the Roman version of Spike!" Jack declared.

"I'll take him," Hiccup said, unsheathing his claws and stepping forward.

"Wait! Wait! Time!" Jack shouted, making a T gesture with his hands. He turns back to Hiccup. "You look ridiculous!" He pulls the sword in Hiccup's chest out and he grunts in pain at the action. "This fight only happened once in the movies before the timeline was reset. It's not going to be easy because now we're in the Viking Age." He pulls the second sword out of his back before grabbing his dagger. "Baby knife!" he said before giving Hiccup advice. "Shoot the double. Take him down. Take charge, side control, full mount like the wolf that you are." he says in excitement. "You ground and pound, until he makes no sound because he's dead! And then use his own spikes on him and-"

"Shut the Helheim up!" Hiccup snapped at Jack angrily.

"Oh my Odin!" Jack said, scooting back. "Okay, we're ready!" He said to the crowd and the fourth wall. He looks back at Hiccup. "Good luck, I'm a bit of a huge fan." He slaps Hiccup on the back.

Hiccup looked back at Jack in annoyance before looking back ahead to Spike. He unsheaths his claws again before running forward.

"Go get him, Tiger!" Jack cheered.

Spike throws more of his spikes at Hiccup who deflects and bats away the spikes with his claws before the Roman soldier holds a spike in each hand like knives and charged at Hiccup full speed while the Viking teen lunged forward and stabbed him in the chest with his claws while being stabbed in the stomach.

The Viking teen and the Roman soldier drop to the ground after the collision.

". . . Hiccup?" Gobber asked after a moment, hesitantly.

". . . I'm alive," Hiccup replied as he stood up, pulling the spikes out of his stomach. He looks down at the Roman soldier and kicks his feet. No reaction. "He's not."

Jack turns to the Readers. "Honestly, what were you expecting? Different from the third movie?" he asked.

Looking at the remaining Romans, Hiccup could tell they were now nervous. One of their 'special' soldiers was now dead and the other was turning on them and teaming up with two others that seemed to be unkillable.

"Well, 'Iccup," Gobber spoke up, turning to the enemies. "What should we do with the rest of them?"

Hiccup was surprised that the blacksmith was leaving that decision to himself but quickly got over it. "Leave one alive and let him leave. Send him back to where he came from so he can send a message. A message to his emperor. His Caesar. Tell them that his empire is not welcomed here. Tell him that the Barbaric Archipelago belongs to the Vikings!"

"Well, you heard the lad, lads and lasses," Gobber said to the remaining warriors next to him.

Jack stood next to Hiccup. "Mind if I join the party."

"Be my guest," Hiccup growled, unsheathing his claws again.

"The more the merrier," Ivar said, unsheathing his own claws on Hiccup's left

Jack grinned. He pulls out his staff, standing on Hiccup's right. "Maximum effort."

The Romans still outnumbered us five to three, but it was still a victory for the Vikings that day. After that, I suddenly grew nervous of how the Tribe would react to me with my claws and my healing. Or ivar's for that matter. He didn't have anyone to speak up for him other than myself and Gobber.

Luckily, the Council let Gothi decide our fate and we were not exiled nor imprisoned.

"Hiccup the Wolf of Berk!" Snotlout, that's right, Snotlout of all people, suddenly shouted as Hiccup stood before the Council of Berk after Gothi made the decision to let Hiccup stay.

"Hiccup the Wolf!" Gobber, Ivar and Astrid shouted. Fishlegs and the Twins repeated what they had said. "Hiccup the Wolf! Hiccup the Wolf! Hiccup the Wolf!"

Bucket and Mulch followed their example, raising a fist to the air. "Hiccup the Wolf!"

Jack shrugged from where he stood. "It does have its own ring to it." he muttered.

I knew right then and there that things have changed for me, for better or worse.

So what do you think? Enjoy it?

Did I do both Deadpool's justice? And yes, Jack Frost from the Dreamworks film "Rise Of The Guardians" is this world's Deadpool, the Winter Spirit Merc With A Mouth. It has to be ironic considering that his VA Chris Pine worked with Hugh Jackman who was the VA for the Easter Bunny in ROTG.

The Sorcer's Apprentice and Tropic Thunder are movies that Hiccup's VA featured in. I looked him up for Deadpool to make references. And Astrid's VA is America hence why Jack Frost called her that.

The fight between Hiccup and Ivar against Jack was a bit inspired by X-Men Origins Wolverine and Deadpool and Wolverine.

The joke about Ice Age and Blue Sky Studio, I thought was funny. It was to me, anyway. (And it's just my personal opinion. Ice Age should have stopped at three. Four has some enjoyable moments for me, but 1-3 are my favorite.) And Blue Sky Studio is shut down from what I know. I thought of having Jack say "Rest in pieces, Fox," but that joke was already made in DP & W.

And I forgot to clarify that Hiccup's claws are not made of metal but they look like they are similiar to the Viking Wolverine variant in the fan film "Logan the Wolf," and this is when Hiccup is now called the Wolf of Berk.

And Snotlout of all people is the one to call him that.

Oh and yeah, everyone now knows about Hiccup's healing and claws along with Ivar's now that they've seen them in action. Thankfully, Gothi decided to let them stay.

Now next time, Hiccup and the remaining warriors of Berk will help Jack liberate his village from the Romans and then we will see a forbidden friendship bloom different from Cannon.

Until then, I'm going to contact the TVA for a Mildew replacement.