A/N: This chapter relates to the Hank and Al scenes from the 3-14-18 and 3-21-18 episodes of PD. I don't own any of the characters.

You Deserve Better

Normally Hank was looking forward to seeing Olivia but this time was going to be a lot harder. He loved her and Noah more than he ever thought possible, which is why this was going to be hard. On any other occasion, he would have stayed at Olivia's apartment but not this time. He had gotten a hotel room and then he went over to her apartment. He knocked on the door and she opened it.

"This is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you this weekend."

"This isn't one of my usual visits. We need to talk."

"Sure. Come on in."

Hank walked in to her apartment as he had many times before and sat down on the sofa. He didn't want to do this but he had to. It was better for her and it would be better for Noah as well.

"Is Noah here?"

"No. He's sleeping over at Amanda's with Jesse."

"Good."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks. I won't be here long. Olivia, I love you more than I ever thought possible but you deserve better than me."

"I don't understand."

"The shit is about to hit the fan. Denny Woods knows I killed Kevin Bingham for killing Justin but he just hasn't been able to prove it yet."

"I thought Commander Crowley couldn't find the body."

"Erin had something to do with that and Al admitted that he helped her. The place where they moved it ended up being a construction site and while they were excavating the site, they found the body and it was positively identified as Kevin Bingham's. Woods has been blackmailing Ruzek to try to get him to give him information about me and now he's making threats to Al. Al hired a lawyer and asked me for financial help to pay for the lawyer but I told him that my "rainy day" money was put in a trust fund for Daniel but I actually did one for Noah too."

"Hank, are you saying you could go back to prison?"

"That's what I'm saying. I told Al that I'm about ready to turn myself in. I can't put you and Noah through this. I just can't. I love you too much. I could lose everything including my job and my pension. I don't want to lose you too but I have no other choice. I don't want to make things any harder than they already are. You deserve a man that can give you everything and can be there for Noah."

"Hank, I don't want just anyone. I want you. Let me help you though this."

"I can't let you help me. I've never been good enough for you."

"Don't tell me that. I love you, Hank. You are the only man that has truly made me happy. You supported me through Noah being kidnapped, so please let me help you though this."

"I don't want you to lose everything you have worked so hard for."

"After Noah was kidnapped, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life. I think I'm ready to leave New York. I want to be married to you and I want to be by your side. I can't lose you, Hank."

"You might have to. I could be going away for a long time. That's why I need to end things between us."

"Hank, you're not doing this. You don't get to decide what's best for me. I do."

"I'm better off without you in my life. I don't want to hurt anyone else I care about. Goodbye, Olivia."

"Hank, don't go! Please. I need you and Noah needs you too."

"You'll be fine. Just remember I love you."

Hank got up and walked out without kissing Olivia goodbye. He knew this was for the best but why did he feel so bad. He went downstairs and went out to the car. Olivia was left stunned and numb. What had just happened? She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and covered herself with it as she cried. Hank drove away but stopped around the corner and broke down as well. Was this really what he wanted? Olivia grabbed her phone and texted Erin. She asked her if she could come over as soon as possible. Hank had also texted Erin and asked if she could come to his hotel because they had to talk. Once Erin had read both texts, she went to see Hank first because she was closer to where he was. She arrived at the hotel and went up to his room. She knocked on the door and he got up to answer it. Hank looked awful. She had seen him this way before after both Camille and Justin had passed. She immediately wrapped her arms around her father figure and held him after they sat down on the bed.

"What happened?"

"Kevin Bingham's body was found while the site was being excavated."

"I know."

"Olinsky?"

"Who else? I'll take the blame for it. Tell Woods killed him and had the body moved. Justin was more of a brother to me than Teddy ever was. I could have taken the gun out of your hand and shot Bingham myself."

"I can't let you do that, Erin. You have your whole life ahead of you. I'm turning myself in."

"Don't do it, Hank! You're finally getting your life back in track after Camille's death. You have an amazing woman who loves you and Noah is pretty great too."

"I broke up with Olivia."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"She deserves better than me. Her life would be so much better without me in it and she needs someone that can take care of both her and Noah."

"Don't ever talk like that again. My life would not be what it is now if it hadn't been for you. You saved me, Hank. Like I told you that night when you showed up at my apartment, I'd be dead right now if it hadn't been for you. Olivia knows about the first time you were in prison, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did it change her opinion of you?"

"No."

"Then don't make the decision for her. She should make the decision to support you or turn her back on you. Do you really want to end things with her?"

"No but I'm going to lose everything anyway. I don't want her and Noah to be disappointed in me and then have to deal with me spending many years in prison."

"Hank, you are so damn stubborn. You know that? If she loves you'll she'll support you no matter what."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Don't screw this up, Hank!"

"What choice do I have?"

"I know she loves you and if you love her and Noah at all, you'll fight Woods until you bring him down and he's the one spending time in prison."

"I love them but I can't do this anymore. I can't let other people take the fall for things that I do. I can't let Woods bring Olinsky down and risk having him lose everything. He barely has Meredith as it is. His life was turned completely upside down when Lexi died."

"Yeah, I know. He told me that after all the support you gave him after Lexi's death, he owes you. He even said he'd take the fall."

"I can't let him do that. He asked me for money to pay for his lawyer and I told him I put the money in a trust fund for Daniel. I did for Noah too. I screwed up and I have to pay for it."

"Do you really want Daniel to grow up without you?'"

"He and Olive are better off without me too. The less they know the better."

"Olive knows more than you think she does. She knows the truth and she said they don't want to lose you either."

"Did you tell her?"

"I didn't have to. She knew that you would have done anything to get back at the person that took Justin away from his family. Olivia, Noah, Olive, Daniel and I are your family and Platt and Olinsky care about you too. We are all in your corner no matter what."

"Why would Olivia be in my corner?"

"Give it up, Hank!"

There was a knock at the door.

"I got that."

Erin got up and went to answer the door.

"Hey, Liv."

"Hey. I thought I might find you here when I hadn't heard from you."

Olivia walked in and sat down next to Hank.

"Don't you ever run off on me like that again, Henry Voight! I'm glad you told me what happened with Bingham when we first started seeing each other and like I told you then, if someone killed my son, I'd probably want them dead too."

"You'd never kill anyone because they killed your kid."

"Don't be so sure of that. It's not like I have never killed anyone before. I told you I killed that retired Sergeant that had a gun pointed at Carisi's head. I thought I had killed William Lewis when he was holding me hostage and I wanted him dead more than I had ever wanted anyone dead. If I had ended his life, things would have been different for me. Sure I could have lost everything but at that point I didn't have anyone but my squad. You have me, Hank. I won't ever turn my back on you. I don't care what you did."

"You should care."

"I know I'm a cop and like things done the right way but you are so important to me and you're important to Noah too."

"I'm not even the type of person who should be around Noah."

"Hank, just stop it right now! I want to fight this battle with you. I want to be by your side while you're going through this. I love you so damn much and you know what, I can't imagine my life without you in it. Just let me be here for you like you were here for me after Sheila took Noah. You took time off of work and just held me. Please don't tell me that I deserve better. I know what I deserve and that's you. I meant what I said before. I am ready to give up my life here to be with you in Chicago for the rest of my life. I want to be your wife and I want you to be the father my son never had."

They both had tears running down their cheeks. Olivia grabbed Hank's face and kissed him. They wrapped their arms around each other as they both cried.

"I really don't deserve you."

"Stop it right now!"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They kissed again and then Erin left, so they could be alone. She even put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door on her way out. Olivia took her coat off and then she started unbuttoning Hank's shirt. They undressed each other and then they made love. Afterwards Olivia had fallen asleep in Hank's arms and he kissed the top of her head.

"Olivia, I love you so much and I need you more now than ever."

As Hank watched Olivia sleep, he really didn't know what he had planned to do concerning the Kevin Bingham thing but he did know that he wasn't going to fight this alone. Having the love of a woman like Olivia was enough to help him get through anything.

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