Chapter 3: Effy and Cook in the Nurse's Office
As Effy and Elaine made their way to their class, Pandora had soon caught up to them and immediately began to ramble. The pair had many people eyeballing them in the corridors, mainly for their lack of clothing and the fact Effy is literally only wearing a top over her underwear, at least Elaine put on shorts despite the fact they were short shorts.
"It's bloody annoying they put us in different forms. I mean, okay, I'm totally useless and Mum says I have to do Hair & Beauty, but I'm good at Philosophy. I can't understand why I can't do Hair and Philosophy. You can't cos it turns out Hair and Beauty is one subject, not two. Blooming Nora, how mad is that?" Pandora asked.
"It's inexplicable, Pandora." Elaine said with a flat tone.
"Yeah. Inexplicable. What does inexplicable mean, guys?" Pandora asked.
"Can't explain." Effy said.
Elaine, Effy, and Pandora walked and watched the twins.
"All right! Suit yourself, then." Pandora grumbled.
As they turned, Elaine noticed the Fitch twins and tilted her head as she saw Emily. A guy named Bruno walked up, attempting to speak to Effy but both Katie and Pandora stopped him until he turned away.
"Outside their tutor room were two red headed twins, Elaine could tell the two were extremely different. As they arrived at the door, a boy who looked a little older walked up and looked over Effy, Elaine, and one of the twins. "Whoa!"
Pandora looks at a boy speaking with a smirk to Katie.
"Hi, I'm Kaite." Twin one introduced with a smile.
"I'm Bruno and what do you know?" Bruno said and turned to Effy and Elaine. "Hello, who's your friend?"
"Pandora. Wow! you're a corker." Pandora jumped forward.
"Thanks, um… It's nice to… I got to go." Bruno said, as he quickly ended up walking away.
"Strewth! Do you think he'd do surf and turf with me, Eff?" Pandora asked.
"I'll ask." Effy said.
"Gotta go. Lesson one, practical skills. Filing our nails, handy! I'm Pandora. I'm useless." Pandora introduced herself to the Fitch twins as she walked away.
"Cute. I'm Katie, that's my sister." The redhead gave Effy and Elaine a fake smile as she pointed back at her sister who was about a foot away from them. "Aren't you two Effy and Elaine Stonem? Haven't you got a really cool brother?"
"Yeah, he's cool." Elaine said, rolling her eyes as she was visibly done with this conversation.
"All my friends fancied him. I wasn't so fussed. Didn't he go mental? Anyway, I've got a boyfriend. He plays for Bristol Rover reserves." Katie went on, bragging about her boyfriend no once give a shit about.
"Impressive." Effy bluntly said.
"Yeah, he's well lush. Let's sit together and we can chat because, you know, we're the best looking three here. Sorry but we are, we should hang out. Definitely." The two brunette twins turned around once Katie began to speak about the girl known as Naomi. "Oh no, here it comes. Total lezzer bitch."
Naomi approached, stopping beside us in silence before she got annoyed and spoke up. "Excuse me."
Katie let her past and then looked at Effy. "Yeah, don't talk to her. She tried to snog my sister in middle school. Pervy, don't you think El?" She questioned, turning her attention to Elaine who gave her a fake smile.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll try to snog her too." Elaine said, evidently annoyed.
"Watch out Katie, I might get confused and fuck you with my great big strap-on by mistake." Naomi flatly said.
"Muff munching bitch…she totally just jumped on you didn't she Ems?" Elaine couldn't help but smile at Naomi's comment, finding it funny.
Katie turned around to her sister.
"Leave it, Katie." Emily pleaded.
"Whatever. Come on. We'll get the best seats, yeah?" Katie asked Effy as the two of them walked into the class, leaving Emily and Elaine alone outside. Just as Emily was going to walk to the classroom, Elaine took a step forward.
"So, you the doormat, then? She treats you like shit." Elaine said.
"Sort of." Emily shyly replied.
"Interesting, that you just put up with that." The brunette twin said, walking into the classroom before Emily.
"Yeah." Emily said.
Elaine walked in, sitting in the back and placing her bag down.
The teacher was looking through a book muttering to himself.
"Right. Um... Now we've gotta... Christ. fuck it. Um... Okay. Whatever... We've gotta stand up, say our names and a unique fact about ourselves." The teacher said.
He watched Effy, Elaine, Cook, Freddie, JJ, Katie, Emily, Naomi, and all the students were sitting in chairs and Pandora without his classmate.
"Right. I'll start. Christ. I'm Kieran and I hate being a fucking teacher. You." Kieran pointed at JJ, wanting him to go first as the man sat down.
Elaine glanced over at Freddie, smiling sweetly at him before she turned her attention back to the front of the class. She had her eyes on him. Freddie seemed like a nice guy and she hoped maybe they could get to know each other, shag or not.
"Top shag, mate." Cook whispered, pointing at Elaine.
"What?" Freddie whispered back, confused on what his mate meant.
"Elaine. You think she'll shag me?" Cook asked.
"No, Elaine doesn't look like she'll shag wankers." Freddie said.
"Um… I'm JJ and with regard to mathematical aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication, interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles." JJ explained, getting interrupted by Kieran.
"Yeah. You've stopped me in my fucking tracks there, yeah. You." Kieran pointed, causing Katie to stand up.
"I'm Katie. I've never not had a boyfriend since I was seven." Katie said.
"Congratulations. You." Kieran said.
Emily stands up, looking down and takes a few seconds to get her words out.
"I'm Emily. I've never had a boyfriend." Emily said.
"Shit happens. You." Kieran points at Naomi.
Elaine liked to think she and Naomi would become good friends.
"I'm Naomi. I hate injustice. People tell lies about me." Naomi said.
"You at the back." Kieran pointed at the boy.
"I'm Kumir. I'm gay." Kumir said.
"Yup. Good. You." Kieran pointed at the other boy.
"I'm Max, and both my parents are artists." Max said.
Elaine sighed, rolling her eyes. How long would this take? She desperately needed a spliff.
"Great. I'm very very happy for you. What about you? With the bling." Kieran pointing at Effy.
Effy stands up which catches Elaine's attention. What would she say?
"I'm Effy. And I think my mom is having an affair." Effy said.
Elaine looked up at Effy with a look of mischief as she smiled. Effy sat down, catching on to Cook staring at her.
"Good one. Show enterprise." Kieran reptiles, showing that he's getting tired of this or that was just Elaine's guess.
"You. With the Smokey eyes." Kieran said.
Elaine stands up, taking a minute to gather what she wanted to say.
"I'm Elaine. And I have bipolar disorder." Elaine said.
Elaine decides to air out her dirty laundry since Effy did too. She sat down, catching on to Freddie staring at her.
"Good one. I guess. What about you, big man?" Kieran asked.
Freddie stands up, scratching his head.
"Erm. I'm Freddie. I met a girl I like today. She's like... Beautiful. That's it. And I think she doesn't like to abuse teachers. That's it." Freddie said.
Elaine looked down at her desk, picking at the skin beside her nails.
"That's it? That's your unique fact? That's just great. Fascinating, Freddie, thank you for that. What about you?" Kieran asked.
"I'm Katie and I had Frosties for breakfast." Katie said.
"Frosties, that's product placement in my opinion. You there at the back beside the wee gay man?" Kieran asked.
"My name's Nathan and seven members of my immediate family have been on Crimewatch." Nathan said.
"Brilliant, what a year this is gonna be." Kieran said.
Effy and Elaine looked down at the piece of paper to do eight lists. Smoking. Alcohol. Arson. Porn. Teacher abuse and Glue were finished and the two missing of Drugs and Sex in School. Effy focussed on the paper in front of her knowing that if she looked at Elaine, she would start laughing. Scanning over the paper, Effy decided to look at the boys, Cook sat sniffing a pritt stick, looked over at her with a strange look and a strange smile and before sending Effy a terrifying smile.
"Your turn." Elaine whispered to Effy.
"Kieran." Effy raised her hand, Elaine glanced at her confused until she noticed the list in her hand. The wankers actually did it?
"Yes?" Kieran asked.
"I'm feeling rather shit. I think I need to go to the nurse's office." Effy said.
"Oh yeah? Okay. Go on then." Kieran said.
Effy off, she quickly sent Cook a smirk before making her way and stood up, walking out of the classroom. Elaine folded up the piece of paper and nodded at Cook.
"Right. Where were we? Oh, stuff it. Let's just watch a DVD about... Oh, Christ. "How To Be Inclusive". Holy Mother of divine shit, who makes up this shit?"
"Actually, Kieran, I'm not feeling too well either. My balls are aching. I might have to go and see that nurse." Cook said.
"Right! Bugger off then." Kieran said.
"Cheers, Kieran." Cook told their form tutor who just sent him on his way.
Elaine smirked to herself and held the flooded piece of paper behind her nodding at Cook grabbing it as he walked past her.
And with that, James was gone to shag Effy. Elaine glanced over to Freddie before she took her bag and moved to the seat next to him.
"Hello." Elaine said, her voice sounding more shy.
"Hi." Freddie said, his brows furrowed with confusion.
"Do you always look that confused?" Elaine asked.
"What?" Freddie asked.
"I mean…you're always looking confused. Or that's just what I've seen you like." Elaine said, looking down at her fingers so she wouldn't have to awkwardly look at him. Unlike her sister, Elaine was more of an awkward flirt instead of a straight shag type of person.
"Well you're in my mates spot." Freddie said, placing his arms on the table they shared.
"Well your mate is gone. My sister is gone. So we both know that they're going to be gone for a while. Why not have company while your friend is gone, yeah?" Elaine quickly asked, giving him a soft smile as she tried to make an excuse as to why she sat in James' spot.
Freddie nods.
"Hey." Pandora said walking in. "Can I be in this class? I don't like mine."
"Pandora." Elaine said, her rolling eyes.
"Why not? Make up the numbers. You doing some A levels?" Kieran asked, still trying to put it on DVD.
"One, please. Philosophy." Pandora cheerily replied.
"Okay, sit down. When you've worked out the point of living, come and fucking tell me." Kieran said.
Once Pandora sat down, she looked over at Elaine with a confused look on her face and looked around Effy gone. "Where's Effy?"
Elaine looked at Pandora, giving her a soft smile and a wave.
"Hi Elaine. Nice to see you Elaine." Pandora flatly said. "She's surf n' turfing."
"Too." Elaine said with a happy smile.
"Whizzer." Pandora said with a happy smile. "Now, where's Effy?"
"She is in the nurse's office." Elaine said.
"Oh yeah." Pandora nodded.
Cook enters into the nurse's office, Effy is standing in the room leaning on a table, she smirks to herself and tilts her head from her joint out as spoken. She had switched the label to occupied and was sitting on the desk.
"My sister told me. They don't have a nurse." Effy tilted her head from her joint out as spoke.
"I just gotta get drug." Cook showed her the piece of paper, kicking the door shut behind him. "And sex."
Effy smiled and grabbed drugs to smoke.
Cook was surprised and smiled. Cook gets a closed door in the nurse's office, Effy gets drugs with Cook, Effy was smoking and blowing the smoke into Cook's face before passing him the drug and blowing.
Effy letting it drop on the floor to smoke. Cook smiled. Very soon they start kissing and undressing. Cook puts Effy on the table and lies over her. Effy taking a puff of her spliff before standing up and pulling Cook closer to her by his belt loop. She then looked down at his lips. He took a hit before letting it drop on the floor, stomping on it as he stepped towards Effy.
She met him in the middle, their lips connecting for the first time. Effy broke away from him for a second to pull his jumper off, Cook pulling her mini-gray dress over her head leaving her in just wearing a black bra, blue panties, and purple fishnet stockings. Effy's mini-gray dress was dropped, Cook's underwear and pants, Effy's lingerie and underwear, Effy and Cook kissed, the two couples had sex in school. Sеxual internet with the two students. The two barely left each other alone for a second, in a constant frame of making out with one another.
Cook pushed everything off the desk and practically threw Effy onto the cold surface, him climbing on top of her while trailing rough kisses down her neck and chest. Effy had one hand in his hair while the other dripped onto the desk, both of them feverously grinding against each other for any type of friction.
Effy let out a quiet whimper and that seemed to flick the switch for Cook, he pulled his trousers and boxers down and then pulled off Effy's underwear, tossing it to the ground. Despite being in a place where someone could easily walk in and see them, the two fucked each other.
Effy raised her hips to meet his on every one of his thrusts, her head thrown back in pleasure and he nipped at the skin on her neck. Cook let out grunts and groans every time she tugged at his hair on gripped on his back.
Their bodies reacting perfectly with each other, like they already knew exactly what to do and say to make the other feel nothing less than satisfied.
However, all good things must come to an end and as they were coming down from their highs, a very loud scream made them jump out of their skin before falling into a fit of laughter as they pulled their clothes back on.
One thing was for certain, that definitely wouldn't be the last time they would be shagging. Effy's left leg up and groaning by Cook.
"Grab my ball. Grab my ball. Grab my ball." Cook said.
Effy and Cook were groaning and kissed on the desk and still had sex and in the nurse's office.
The bell starts ringing a couple minutes later. Elaine and Freddie walked.
"Your sister and my mate are staying at the nurse's office?" Freddie asked.
"Yeah. Don't tell our friends. Don't tell my parents. Don't tell all the teachers." Elaine said.
"Okay, you're right. Fine." Freddie said.
"Good." Elaine said.
Elaine takes a pen in one hand and Freddie's hand in the other.
"Call me if you really think." Elaine said, as she wrote her number on his hand, then put a pen down and got up from her seat next to Freddie.
"Aren't we going to wait for Eff?" Pandora asked when we would stop by her locker so Elaine could get her rollerblades out.
"Nope." Elaine said, as she closed her locker. "Let's go home. You talk and I'll pretend she actually understand what you're talking about. How does that sound?" She grab into Pandora's arm and walks out of college.
"Whizzer." Pandora said.
"My sister is still in the nurse's office." Elaine said.
"You're right." Pandora said.
Effy and Cook were naked on the desk and both moaned out loud and kept going in the nurse's office.
"I love you, Effy." Cook said.
"I love you too, Cook." Effy said.
Effy and Cook smiled and kissed and were still naked in the nurse's office.