A/N: This takes place now but isn't one of my normal Benoight stories and it will be a 2-parter. Justin and Al are both still around. I don't own any of the characters except my own.

Trying to Move On

Hank and Olivia have known each other for over 4 years and slept with each other after the Yates trial, which resulted in their 3 year old daughter, Samantha, who Hank does see but for some reason, he doesn't want to commit to Olivia. Olivia started seeing Trevor Langan over a year ago and they have been trying to move forward but she is afraid to because she figures Hank would all of a sudden want to be with her.

Hank had had both Sami and Noah for a week and was returning them to Olivia. They arrived in New York and then they went to get the luggage. Hank got a cab and they headed to the Precinct. They had arranged to have him drop them off with her at work. When the cab arrived, he got them out, got their stuff and went inside. Fin and Carisi were out and Amanda was on bedrest, so Olivia was there by herself. As soon as Sami saw Olivia, she ran to her.

"Mommy!"

"Hey, you! Did you have a good time with Daddy?"

"Yes."

"Hey, Noah."

"Hi Mommy. Thanks for everything, Hank."

"You're welcome."

Noah hugged Hank and went to sit in the lounge.

"Sweetie, go sit with your brother for a minute. I need to talk to Daddy."

"Ok. Bye, Daddy. Thank you."

"Bye, Pumpkin and you're welcome."

Sami kissed Hank and then she went to join Noah in the lounge. Olivia took Hank into her office and shut the door.

"What's going on, Benson?"

"Cut the crap, Hank!"

"What bug flew up your ass now?"

"Why can't you ever give me a straight answer?"

"About what?"

"Us."

"There is no us. If you want to move on, then move the hell on. I don't care what you do as long as I get to see my daughter."

"So then you never cared about me?"

"I never said that. I'm not ready for another relationship."

"It's been 9 years since Camille died, Hank."

"I know how long it's been."

"You do know that once you make your decision, it's pretty much final. Trevor wants the 3 of us to move in with him."

"So then move in with him. Like I said, I don't care what you do. I just want to see my daughter."

"Why do you hate me?"

"I don't."

"I've told you multiple times that I have feelings for you and you ignore me."

"I'm not good enough for you and I have no intention of leaving Chicago."

"It's not good for her not to have us both in the same city."

"It works both ways and you'll never leave New York. It seems to be working and she's fine when she's with me."

"What makes you think you're not good enough for me?"

"You know why. I don't have time for this. I have to get back to the airport."

"You need to make time. This entire arrangement isn't working."

"What do you mean it's not working? I send you more than you ask for in child support for her every month and I see her as often as I can, which is pretty much every other weekend. I also take both of them for 6 weeks in the summer and Noah isn't even my problem. I always have to come here. You never come to Chicago. She said she wants to live with me all the time."

"I doubt she did. You don't have the time to take care of her."

"And you do?"

"I have a nanny."

"That's being a devoted mother. Benson, it never would have worked between us anyway because we are both too set in our ways and more times than not, you always have to have your way with everything."

"At least I don't get aggressive with people to get a confession out of them."

"I've been better about that. I'm trying to be a better person for Sami. I heard from Halstead that you elbowed that George guy, so don't give me that crap that you don't get aggressive with people."

"I did what I had to."

"I do the same thing."

"Uh huh."

"I do care about you. If I didn't, what happened between us never would have happened but I'm fine with the way things are. If you want to move in with Trevor, then move in with him. Marry him for all I care. All I ask is that I can see my daughter. I have a flight to catch."

"Thank you."

"Yep."

Sami came running out of the lounge and grabbed onto Hank.

"Daddy, I love you! Don't go!"

Hank picked her up and held her.

"I have to go, Baby. Daddy loves you so much."

Hank kissed Sami, handed her to Olivia and headed to the elevator.

"Daddy!"

As he got into the elevator, he could hear Samantha screaming. It really broke his heart to hear her scream like that but in his heart, he knew that things were better off this way. He got downstairs and got a cab to the airport. Not too long after Hank left, Olivia had finally gotten Sami to calm down. It broke her heart too. The 3 of them were in her office when Trevor came in.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"You ok?"

"I don't even know anymore."

"How was Chicago, you two?"

"Fun."

Trevor put his briefcase down, sat next to Olivia on the sofa and kissed her.

"I'm ready to call it a day."

"Ok."

Olivia got up and got her stuff. Trevor helped Sami with her coat and Noah put his on. Trevor then helped Olivia with her coat and then they left. They went to Olivia's and then they went upstairs. The kids went to their rooms.

"Babe, you've been pretty quiet. Did you and Hank get into it again?"

"Pretty much. I can't understand why he never wanted to be with me. I thought what we had shared was something special and not that it was intentional but Sami was conceived because of it. The one thing I have wanted more than anything was a baby of my own. As much as I love Noah, a part of me still felt that I was missing something. Even though I'm not with her daddy, I'm not sorry she was born."

"Some people just need time to heal."

"9 years?"

"They were married a long time. After my grandpa died, my grandma never wanted to marry again. We kept trying to tell her that it was ok if she wanted someone for companionship but she wasn't interested."

"Hank said Sami told him that she wanted to live with him."

"Maybe she does."

"She cried so hard after he left."

"He's been there for her this whole time considering the circumstances. He's a good father. Give him some credit."

"I'm not saying he's a bad father and I know he loves her. Justin loves her too and so does Erin."

"How do they feel about Noah?"

"I know Hank likes him but he said Noah really isn't his problem. I guess he's right. I don't know if Justin has ever really spent that much time with Noah. I told Hank that you want the 3 of us to move in with you and he didn't seem to have a problem with that. He said he doesn't really care what I do and if I want to marry you, I can marry you."

"I haven't asked yet."

"I know. I'm just telling you what he said."

"You're so tense."

Trevor started kissing Olivia and then he started kissing her neck.

"Right there. That's the spot."

"You like that?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Then there was a knock at the door.

"You get that and I will see what I can throw together for dinner."

"Ok."

Trevor kissed Olivia again and then he went to see what he could find for dinner, while Olivia went to answer the door.

"Justin."

"Hey, Olivia."

"Come on in."

"Thanks. Pop isn't here, is he?"

"No. He dropped Sami off and headed straight back to the airport. Sit."

"Thanks."

Justin sat down.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

"How's your family?"

"They're great. Olive and I are expecting again in March. I don't know if Pop told you."

"No, he didn't. Congratulations."

"Thanks. This one is a girl, so we're both excited about that. I'm here because I wanted to tell you how sorry I was that things didn't work out for you and Pop. He's a stubborn son of a bitch sometimes and he's just very set in his ways about a lot."

"Yeah, no kidding."

Sami came out of her room.

"Look who's here."

"Justin!"

"Hey, cutie!"

Sami ran over and gave Justin a big hug.

"Miss you."

"I miss you too. Sorry we couldn't come see you when you were with Dad this week but Olive will be having the baby in 10 weeks or so."

"Daddy said we go see you soon."

"I'm sure he'll bring you down to see us. You'll have to meet the new baby the next time you're there."

"Can't wait! Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Trevor is fixing dinner."

"Ok."

Then Noah came out of his room.

"Hi Justin."

"Hey, Noah. How's it goin'?"

"Good. How are you?"

"No too bad. How was your Christmas?"

"Good."

"Are you ready to go back to school?"

"Not really."

"I can't blame you for that. What did you do over your break?"

"I went to Chicago with Sami."

"Good. Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah but sometimes I get the feeling that Hank doesn't like me very much."

"That's not true."

"I know for a fact that he likes you."

"Sweetie, he doesn't have to take you to Chicago because he's not your dad but he does anyway, so you can be with Sami. He likes you."

"Why does Sami have a daddy and I don't?"

"As you know, you're adopted and I adopted you by myself. I don't even know what it is that I have with Hank but I ended up pregnant with Sami."

"Do you love him?"

"That's complicated. I did but I'm not so sure he ever loved me. I don't regret your sister being born but it just complicates things even more."

"Do you love Trevor or is that complicated too?"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, I love Trevor."

Trevor came out of the kitchen.

"Trev, this is Justin Voight, Hank's oldest son and Sami's big brother. Justin, this is Trevor Langan."

"It's nice to meet you, Justin. I've heard a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you too."

"Trevor."

"Yeah, Buddy."

"Do you love Mommy?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I just want a daddy."

"Noah, please stop worrying about it."

"Justin, can you stay for dinner? There's plenty of food."

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

"No problem."

Trevor headed back to the kitchen and tickled Sami's belly on his way, so she started giggling. Once dinner was ready, everyone sat down and ate. Justin and Trevor got to know each other better. Several hours later, Hank's flight was arriving in Chicago. As he waited for his luggage, he called Al to see if he wanted to meet for dinner or something. Al had checked with Meredith and they invited him over to their house for dinner. Once he got his luggage and went to the parking garage to get his SUV, he headed to the Olinsky's. When he arrived, he rang the doorbell. Al answered.

"Hey, Man."

"Hey."

"Come on in."

"Thanks."

Hank walked in and then Meredith came out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Hank."

"Hey. Thanks for the invite."

"You're welcome."

Hank kissed Meredith's cheek.

"You want a beer, Man?"

"Yeah."

Al went to get Hank a beer and then they went to sit at the table.

"I miss that kid so much. I just wish I could be with her all the time."

"You could marry her mother like you should have in the first place. You know you love her."

"I care about Olivia but we're too different. It would never last anyway."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"She still with that lawyer?"

"Yep. She told me he wants them to move in with him. I told her I didn't care what she did and she could do whatever the hell she wanted as long as I get to see my daughter."

"You're out of your damn mind if you can honestly say you don't love the mother of your daughter!"

"Fine, Al, you got me! Yes, I love her but I can't tell her that. She's in love with someone else."

"She's been waiting how long for you to tell her how you felt about her? She deserves to know the truth."

"I don't want to be responsible for breaking up her relationship with this guy. I've met the guy and Sami seems to like him."

"Yeah but he's not you. The best thing for her is to have you in her life. Hank, she's not going to be 3 forever."

"Oh, yeah, I know that. Sami knows I love her."

"I know she does. How do you really feel about Noah?"

"I love him too. He's a good kid."

"He really seems like it."

The 3 of them ate and talked for a while before Hank went home. Olivia had been doing a lot of thinking since everyone left and she got the kids to bed. Some of what Justin had said was really getting to her. Trevor wanted to stay over but Olivia told him she just wanted to be with her kids. She was confused about everything. She loved Trevor but deep down, she was still in love with Hank and pretty much had been since they had first met. What was she going to do?

To be continued…

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