A/N: This mentions parts of the episode of SVU that aired on 2-21-19. I don't own any of the characters.

Awareness

Olivia was still trying to get over what Brian had said at the trial. She still cared for him and probably always would even though she was completely devoted to and madly in love with Hank. She was so glad when Hank showed up after she got home. She loved their time together, even though the weekends were never long enough. They had already put Noah to bed and were snuggling on the sofa

"I've missed this."

"Me too."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They started kissing and then there was a knock at the door. Olivia got up and went to see who it was before opening it.

"Hey, Brian."

"Hey, Liv. I just wanted to say thanks. I feel a lot better about what happened now that I got it all out in the open."

"Come on in."

Brian came in.

"Hank, this is Brian Cassidy, my ex. Brian, this is Hank Voight, my boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too."

Brian sat down in the chair, while Olivia sat back down with Hank. Hank put his arm around her.

"How's the kid?"

"Noah is fine."

"Good."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No. I'm good. How long have you two been a thing?"

"Almost two years."

"You planning to get married?"

"The subject has come up but Hank lives in Chicago, so one of us has to relocate."

"What do you do?"

"I'm the Sergeant in the Intelligence Unit of the Chicago Police Department."

"Ok. You dated Tucker too, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell for?"

"I'm not really sure. I probably should have told Hank how I really felt about him instead of getting involved with Tucker. He and I are friends and he and Hank get along pretty well."

There was another knock at the door. This time Hank went to answer it. It was Ed and Peter.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They both came in.

"Hey, Olivia."

"Hey, guys."

"Cassidy."

"Tucker."

"Brian, thank you for your help with this case."

"Yeah, no problem."

"Peter, there is probably something you need to know. Brian and I used to be involved."

"I kind of figured that out. He seems to listen you and you're the one that got him to open up about what happened to him. Hank listens to you too."

"I listen to her too."

"Now you do."

"Tucker, since when have you ever listened? Everyone was always guilty until proven innocent with you. You were so sure Liv was guilty of beating the shit out of that Lewis guy. I still care a lot about her."

"I do too. She knows I was just doing my job when I investigated her and other members of SVU."

"Why she'd ever be involved with you is beyond me."

"I could say the same thing about you."

"I was the one that was there for her when she went through hell."

"Then where were you when he was holding her at the abandoned granary and killed himself in front of her?"

"If I know you, you probably tried blaming her for it. It's what you do best."

"Idiot!"

"Who you calling an idiot?"

"You. Who else?"

"You're the idiot. Not me."

"Dumbass."

"Same to you."

"Would you two please stop it? You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry, Liv."

"I'm sorry too."

Olivia put her head in her hands and had her elbows on her knees. Hank was rubbing her back to try to get her to relax.

"So, Hank, how are things in Chicago?"

"Same crap different day. Antonio sends his regards."

"Tell him the same from me."

"I will do that. How are things going here?"

"It sure doesn't seem like I have been here a year already. I have a great deal of respect for Olivia though and she is so passionate about what she does."

"That's a good place to start. She and I didn't start out on the right foot the first time we worked together but we grew to respect each other. Our relationship grew from there. She is very passionate about what she does. That's what I love about her. She can put me in my place and get away with it. I don't allow too many people to do that."

"I know you don't."

"Liv's a great woman."

"She sure is."

"If you weren't with him, who would you be with?"

"Honestly, I'd probably still be single if I wasn't with Hank."

"Come on, Liv. Seriously?"

"Yeah. I wanted marriage and a family but you never did. As much as grew to respect and care for Ed, I was struggling with my feelings for Hank the entire time Ed and I were together and Ed knew that. Hank and I met in the fall of 2014 while working on a case and my feelings for him started not too long after that. We had another case a few months later. The thing that was standing in our way was the distance and the fact that I had no idea how he felt about me. He told me after our perp from the second case we worked on together had escaped from prison that he felt something for me but at that time, I was already with Ed. I told him I wish he had told me sooner. I completely expected him to not want to have anything to do with me but we kept in touch and agreed to be friends. I deeply regret that I didn't go to Chicago after Hank's son died but my Sergeant had been killed and I was blaming myself for what had happened?"

"Did IAB do an investigation?"

"No. He said I did nothing wrong and he would have recused himself from the investigation had there been one."

"She didn't need that, especially from me. I transferred out of IAB and into Hostage Negotiation because of Liv and then I was in Conviction Integrity before I retired."

"There is definitely life after IAB."

"Yeah, there is."

"My biggest problem when I was involved with the two of you was that I never disclosed the relationships and then someone always found out. With you, Munch and Amaro found out when you were being accused of rape. With Ed, SVU had been investigating a case that Ed's cousin was involved with and then Ed was being investigated for supposedly knowing about it and possibly sweeping it under the rug. Barba and I were talking and he figured out that Ed and I were together. He went to 1PP about it. Ed was already on administrative leave and I was transferred out of SVU until the case was over. My relationship with Hank doesn't interfere with my job. The one thing with Ed though was when we were together for the first time, I really didn't have to explain what had happened to me, since I already knew about it and had already seen what I looked like. You know how long it took me to want to be with you again after what had happened with Lewis."

"Yeah, I know."

"I told Hank before we decided we wanted to go to that next step. I didn't want to scare him off because I'm still so self-conscious about how I look sometimes."

"You still seeing your therapist?"

"Sometimes. Have you thought about it?"

"Honestly, no."

"It might help."

"I doubt it. It did feel good to finally confront him about it and get it off my chest."

"I just wish you had said something to me sooner. I could have helped you get through it."

"You can't fix everyone, Liv."

Olivia ended up telling Peter what had happened with William Lewis and Brian told both Hank and Ed what he had been through.

"Damn!"

"My thoughts exactly."

"This case really hit me hard. Not only because someone I care about was one of the perp's victims but because my son plays baseball and I worry about something like this happening to him."

"Have you talked to him about situations like this?"

"No."

Noah had come out of his room.

"Hi."

"Did we wake you up, Sweetie?"

"No. I can't sleep."

"Come here."

Noah sat between Hank and Olivia.

"Noah, this is Brian. Brian, this is Noah. Brian is one of Mommy's ex-boyfriends."

"Like Ed?"

"Yes, like Ed. I need to talk to you about something serious."

"Was I bad?"

"Oh, Sweetie, of course not. You know, Brian played baseball when he was younger."

"Cool."

"I need you to be honest with me about something."

"Ok."

"Has an adult ever touched you in the wrong place?"

"You mean down there?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Would you tell me if they did even if they told you not to say anything?"

"Yes. You're scaring me."

"I'm so sorry."

Olivia had tears in her eyes as she looked at Brian and nodded. Brian got down on the floor, so he was at Noah's level and he told what happened to him in a way he thought Noah might understand. Hank had his arm around Olivia and Noah the entire time and Olivia was in tears. This was a hard subject to be discussing with her 6-year old but she wanted to make him aware of what people like Brian's former baseball coach did. After Brian was done, he and Noah bumped fists. Noah did the same thing with Peter and Ed. He kissed Hank and then Olivia took him back to bed.

"It's gotta be tough being a kid these days."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"She said he asked about his father not that long ago. She knows she's going to have to tell him eventually but how does she tell him what he did to all those young girls and that he was a terrible person?"

"She's been dreading that day all along but now that he's asking about it, it makes it even worse. That guy was somethin' else. I never had much use for Amaro but I'm glad he killed that son of a bitch."

"I really need to think about things. After hearing what Cassidy went through, I really don't want the same thing to happen to Noah. I may need to think about retiring, so I can be here with him when he goes to his practices."

"I am actually an assistant coach for Noah's team this coming season but they know it's if my schedule permits and I'm not in court. I contacted Noah's coach and said I've been working with him and he asked if I'd be interested in helping out."

"Maybe I'll check into doing that too. Noah is a good kid and maybe I can help prevent what I went through from happening to someone else. Might be good therapy for me."

"It might."

"I might still consider retiring, since I wasn't the greatest father to Justin, I feel like I was given a second chance with Noah."

"How old was your son?"

"He was 23 when he died. His son was just a year old when he lost his dad. It doesn't seem like he'll be 4 this year but his mom said he's growing like a weed."

"Where are they at?"

"Scottsdale."

"Too hot. I tried living in Florida but it sucked."

"Arizona is the best in the spring, especially for Spring Training."

Olivia came out of Noah's room.

"I finally got him back to sleep."

"I didn't scare him too much, did I?"

"No but he asked me a bunch of questions, which is what I had hoped for. I told him that if has any more questions, he can always ask any of us or Fin, Carisi and Rollins. Thanks for talking to him."

"No problem. Peter was telling us that he's becoming an assistant coach for Noah's team and I said maybe I'll do something like that too, since it might be good therapy for me."

"Sure, it might."

"I should get going."

Brian got up and put his coat on.

"Take care of yourself, Brian."

"Yeah, you too. Maybe I'll see you around."

"I'm sure you will."

"Nice meeting you."

"You too."

Brian hugged Olivia and shook everyone else's hands. Not too long after he left, Ed and Peter both left.

"I think I need to retire, so I can be here for Noah and for you."

"If that's what you want."

"Yeah, it's what I want."

Olivia kissed Hank and then the two of them went to bed. During the night, Noah got into bed in between Hank and Olivia. The next day, Olivia told Noah that she hoped that he wouldn't be afraid to tell her if something wasn't right but she also knew how scared victims could be. She told him that she and Hank would always be there for him to talk to about anything. They enjoyed the rest of their weekend and once Hank returned to Chicago, he talked to his squad and put in his paperwork to retire, so he could be with Olivia and Noah all the time.

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