A/N: So, for the time being, I am not watching SVU due to the fact that I am not happy with the direction they appear to be going with Liv romantically and that SVU appears to be focusing too much on Stabler. This chapter is based on the promo I saw on Facebook for next Thursday's episodes. I don't own any of the characters.

I Can't Do This

Olivia had gotten Noah to bed a few hours ago. They had tried Skyping with Hank but he never answered. She had tried texting a few times since but he had yet to respond. She knew he could be busy with a case but they always checked in with each other several times throughout the day and she hadn't heard from him since early afternoon. She was starting to get worried. She called him and texted him again and then decided to head to bed. Her foot was bothering her and she really wanted to put it up. She was about ready to head to her bedroom when someone started pounding on the door. She went over to the door and looked to see who it was. It was Elliot. He was really the last person she wanted to deal with right now.

"What?"

"Hi."

"It's getting late, my foot hurts and I'm tired. What do you want?"

"We need to talk about the letter."

"I have nothing to say."

"Then I'll talk and you can listen."

"Make it fast."

Elliot came in, while Olivia shut the door. When she turned around, they were standing inches apart.

"I need you."

"You need me for what?"

"I need to be with you. I want us to make love and I need it to happen tonight. Right now."

"Do you ever take anyone else's feelings into consideration or just your own? You come into my apartment and tell me that you want to go to bed with me. Did you once even consider my feelings about this?"

"I just assumed you wanted this as much as I did."

"Well, you were wrong! You come back into my life after 10 years and then you make assumptions like that."

"Shhhhhhhhhhh."

Elliot started caressing Olivia's cheek and then he leaned in to kiss her. All Olivia could do was pull away.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Something I should have done years ago."

"Elliot, I can't do this."

"You can't do this now?"

"No. I can't do this ever."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago or even when we worked together. You have no idea how hurt I was when you just up and left."

"I told you that if I had heard your voice, I never would have left. Let me make it up to you."

"No. You leaving turned out to be the best thing for me. I respected the fact that you were married and had a family. Now you need to do that for me."

"You're not married."

"Actually, I am."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Because it's none of your business."

"I thought we were friends."

"Don't start."

"So, where is he?"

"Chicago."

"How can you call that a marriage?"

"Because we figured out a way to make it work."

"That's not a marriage, Liv. You need someone who will be here for you."

"He's here as often as he can."

"Where was he after your accident?"

"He came out here as soon as he could. He's retiring at the end of the month to be here with Noah and me permanently."

"What does he do?"

"He runs the Intelligence Unit of the Chicago Police Department. He's a Sergent."

"Oh. I'm just so confused about what I'm doing with everything lately. I guess I deserved to have you push me away."

"I care about you, I really do but our relationship never would have been anything more than friends/partners. It breaks my heart that you lost Kathy the way you did but you need to work on getting your life back on track with your kids. I will support you in any way I can but I have my responsibilities are to my husband, our family and my squad. My family comes first."

"Fin had mentioned a guy when he and I first talked."

"He told me about that. There have actually been a few since you left but Hank was one of the main ones. The other one who became a big part of my life, you may want to sit down for."

Elliot sat down in the chair, while Olivia sat down on the sofa and put her foot up.

"So, who?"

"Ed Tucker."

"You didn't?"

"I did. He was very supportive of the situation when I was adopting Noah, since that actually involved a case of ours. I had been held hostage and called Ed in to be the Hostage Negotiator. After that, it just sort of happened. I was also fighting my real feelings for Hank. Ed was being investigated for covering up a sex scandal in the Catholic Church, which involved his cousin. Our ADA found out about us and I got transferred out of SVU until the case was over. We never disclosed our relationship. He later told me that he was transferring out of IAB to HNT. He then took Noah and me to Paris. Ed and I were together about a year and maybe 6 months after we broke up, Hank and I got together. Hank was there for me when Noah's biological grandmother came into the picture and kidnapped him. Hank was the one that kept me sane through that. I hadn't heard much from Ed for maybe 3 years. One of the reasons we broke up was because we wanted different things. He was thinking about retiring and wanted me to consider it as well. I told him I needed more time for Noah and 3 years later, I was invited to his retirement party. At that point, I was with Hank but he said he wasn't surprised. He knew Hank was another reason we broke up but in the meantime, he had gotten married. Anyway, his former partner was being investigated for the rape of a former cop, who committed suicide, so we needed to talk to Ed. He and I met for coffee and he asked me to talk with him. He stopped in front of a cancer center. He later told me that he had cancer and it was 9/11 related. He said they had found it on his lungs just before we started seeing each other but it had spread to his brain. He told me there was nothing that could be done. He helped us nail the guy. We had talked again and then later, I got a call saying that he took his own life. He didn't want his wife to have to take care of a dying man."

"Damn! I had heard Tucker retired but I didn't know he committed suicide. I was never a fan of the guy but no one deserves that."

"Yeah, I know. Fin or Rollins called Hank and he got out here as quickly as he could. It was hard trying to explain things to Noah. That night, all I wanted was to be in Hank's arms and that's exactly where I stayed. He stayed with me until he knew I'd be ok enough for him to go home. Noah stayed with Rollins and her girls, while I went to Chicago for Valentine's Day. That's when Hank proposed and we got married exactly a year later. You come back into my life and complicated things even more. I still miss Ed every day. I know where you're coming from when you lost Kathy though. Hank is the one that got me through it all. He loves my son unconditionally. He lost his son 5 years ago, so Noah has helped fill that void. He also sees his grandson as much as he can."

"I just have no idea how to start putting my life back together."

"It takes time. You and Kathy were together a long time."

"We were."

"Lean on your kids. Like I said, I'll do what I can but there is never going to be an us."

"I shouldn't have assumed that. I'm sorry."

"It's ok but I am going to have to tell Hank about what happened. He and I have no secrets from each other."

There was a knock on the door, so Olivia got up and went to see who it was. This time it was Hank.

"You're here."

"I am."

Olivia wrapped her arm around Hank and kissed him.

"How's my girl?"

"I'm better now that you're here. I missed you."

"I missed you too. I decided to make today my last day. My stuff was picked up this morning and I told Halstead the unit was his to run. After your accident, I realized I needed to be here, so I talked with the squad and with Deputy Superintendent Miller and made the decision to push my retirement date up. I know I probably should have let you know what I was planning to do."

"I'm glad you're here for good. Noah will be happy to have his daddy around all the time too. Where's your key?"

"I have it but I didn't want to have a gun pointed at me when I unlocked the door."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I'm glad to hear that. I see you have company."

"I do."

Hank came in and put his stuff down. He and Olivia then went over to the sofa, sat down and laced their fingers together.

"Hank, this is my former partner, Elliot Stabler. Elliot, this is my husband, Hank Voight."

"Nice to meet you. I was sorry to hear about your wife."

"You too and thanks."

"You're welcome."

"If you ever need to talk to someone who's been through it, let me know."

"How long ago did your wife die?"

"11 years ago. She had ovarian cancer."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Thanks. I never wanted to go through being that close to someone again but then Olivia came into my life 4 years later."

"This is actually the second time around for us. We had a friends with benefits thing going on but neither of us wanted anything serious at that point. We still talked even when I was with Ed. That was when I realized that I did want a more serious relationship with Hank."

"We both had to work to make our relationship what it is especially because we were long distance. We made it work. I probably did the most traveling but she and Noah would come to Chicago whenever Noah had off from school."

"What made you decide to move here?"

"We knew one of us was going to have to relocate and after she was promoted to Captain a couple years ago, I had a feeling it was going to be me. I just had to decide whether or not I wanted to transfer out here or retire. I chose to retire. I just wanted to be sure that the Detective that was going to be running the unit when I retired was ready to run it and he is. I'm ready to be a full-time husband and dad. I always worry about her when we aren't together and I'm very protective of the people I care about."

"That is what I love about you."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

Olivia kissed Hank and Elliot rolled his eyes.

"I should go."

Elliot got up and left. Olivia locked up again and then she told Hank everything that had happened.

"Nothing happened?"

"No."

"You really didn't have to tell me."

"Yes, I did. I want no secrets between us. You're the only man I want."

"And you're the only woman I want."

"Take me to bed?"

"You don't even have to ask."

Hank picked up Olivia and carried her to the bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his foot and set her down on the bed. They undressed each other, started kissing and made love. Afterwards Hank had his arms wrapped around her and she had her head on his chest.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm glad I can now fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up in them every morning."

"Like I said, after your accident, I knew I had a decision to make. I could have lost you."

"Elliot was not too happy when he found out I was married."

"He's probably jealous because he wants something he can't have."

"No doubt. Even if we weren't married or together, he still wouldn't have me. I'm not that person anymore. I know there are better men out there than Elliot Stabler. A part of me isn't even sure I can completely forgive him for how he left things between us but he can show up at my apartment and try to get me into bed because he "needs" me. He just wants me to help him through losing his wife. He's nowhere near being ready for another relationship. A part of me wishes he had never come back into my life. It was fine the way things were. He needs to work on getting his life back on track with his kids. I had to make it perfectly clear that I respected the fact that he was married and had a family, so he needed to do the same for me. I said if he needs a friend, I will be there for him but there will never be anything more than that between us. I said my family came first, which it does. You, Noah, Erin, Olive and Daniel are the most important people in my life and then of course my squad."

Olivia got no response from Hank. She looked up and he had fallen asleep. She got up and went into the bathroom. She then went back into the bedroom, removed her boot and got into bed with Hank. She kissed his cheek and curled up next to him before she fell asleep.

The next morning, Hank got up, went to get his suitcase and then got into the shower. Olivia woke up and joined him.

"Morning."

"Hey. I guess I must have been tired."

"That's ok. May I join you?"

"You don't even have to ask."

Olivia got into the shower with Hank. When Hank was done, he got out and let Olivia finish up. He went to get Noah up.

"Time to get up, kiddo."

"Ok."

Hank went to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. Noah got up and went into the bathroom. He took a quick shower and by the time he was done, Olivia was just about ready and breakfast was ready too.

"So, Noah, guess what?"

"What?"

"Daddy is here with us for good."

"That is awesome! I am so happy."

"I'm happy too. After your mom's accident, I knew I needed to be here with both of you."

"What are you up to today?"

"I'll probably pack some stuff here and start taking it over to the new place. Jay said if we need help moving to let them know and they'll come out."

"Fin, Rollins and Carisi said they'd help and even Trevor said he'd help out if we needed it."

"I left Erin and message when I got here last night to tell her I was here and for good. I'm sure she'll help if we need it."

"Good."

There was a knock at the door, so Hank went to get it. It was Fin.

"Hey, Voight."

"Hey. Come on in."

"Thanks."

Fin came in.

"Mornin', Liv."

"Morning, Fin. I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Take your time. You countin' the days until you retire?"

"I made yesterday my last day, so I'm here for good."

"Good."

Olivia finished her breakfast and went to brush her teeth, while Hank filled her travel mug with coffee. He then made Noah's lunch.

"Thanks, Honey."

"You're welcome. Lunch?"

"Of course."

Olivia went to kiss Noah on top of his head.

"Have a good day, Sweetie."

"You too. Love you."

"I love you too.

Olivia then kissed Hank.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Olivia left with Fin and then Hank and Noah both went to get dressed.

"Did you know he was comin'?"

"No but I glad he showed up when he did. Elliot showed up last night. He told me he "needed" me. He actually told me he wanted to go to bed with me and tried kissing me. I told him that there would never be anything between us and he needed to work on getting his life back on track with the kids. I told him if he needs a friend, I'll be there for him but that's it. Although I wish he hadn't come back into my life. I wasn't planning to tell him that that I was married but he left me no other choice. I told him I respected that he was married and had a family, so he now needed to do the same for me."

"He's a dumb ass and always has been."

"I told him about me and Ed too. He handled that better than I expected. I part of me can't completely forgive him for leaving the way he did and I don't want him ruining things for me and Hank."

"Does Voight know?"

"I told him. He said if nothing happened, I didn't have to but I said I don't want any secrets between us."

"I got your back and I always will."

"Thanks. I'm glad Hank will be around now."

"What made him decide to retire sooner?"

"My accident played the biggest part in it. It's been a lot harder for us to be apart now that we're married."

"I bet. Would you go for Stabler if you weren't with Voight?"

"No. Like I told him, I'm not the same person I once was. He was holding me back and there was way too much drama for me. I don't need that from him when I have had enough of my own."

"I hear ya. Phoebe wasn't all that impressed by him."

"Neither were Rollins and Carisi. Once Hank, Noah and I get moved and settled into our new place, we will have to have you and Phoebe, Rollins and the girls, Carisi and some others like Trevor, Melinda, Don and Munch over for dinner. If Rafael is around, him too."

"Sounds like a plan."

Fin arrived at the Precinct. Hank had taken Noah to school and went back to Olivia's apartment to pack some stuff. Erin had called Hank to tell him she was off, so she said she'd come over to help. When she got there, Hank told her what happened before he got there the night before. Erin reassured him that he had Olivia's heart and always would. She would never betray him. He said he knew that. They worked for a while and then took some of it over to the new place before they met Olivia for lunch. After lunch, they took more stuff over to the new place and by the time they got back to the apartment, Lucy had picked Noah up from school and had him doing his homework.

During the next couple weeks, Olivia was planning to take time off to move. Hank wanted her to do as little as possible. Hank had decided against hiring a moving company, so he called Jay and he got as many people as he could to go help them move, including Will, Trudy and the group from 51. Hank's things had already been moved into the new place once it arrived in New York. With their family and friends helping at both places, they were done in no time, which Olivia was grateful for. Once mostly everything was put away, Hank and Olivia treated everyone to pizza at their new place. A new chapter in her and Hank's life had started and she was glad that these were the people that were going to be a part of that even if most of them lived in Chicago. They were all family and always would be.

Reviews and suggestions are appreciated.