A crimson Pontiac thundered down the street, three other muscle cars hot on its trail.
Iroh, wearing a brown overcoat and a black undershirt peered out the window."Faster, Zuko! They're gaining on us!"
Zuko, his head adorned with an oversized afro and donned in a white unbuttoned shirt and a purple undershirt, gritted his teeth as he clenched the leather steering wheel."Man, whatchoo think I'm tryna do!?"
The pursuing muscle car in front rolled down its passenger window, revealing a man wearing a ski mask who pulled out a .45 pistol and began firing.
"Aw, hell-naw! Suckas' ain't scuffin' up dis ride!" Zuko cried furiously, spinning the steering wheel left and right rapidly, forcing the car to swerve through downtown traffic to evade their attackers.
Coming up onto a three-way intersection, Zuko jerked the wheel to the right as hard as he could, the car violently screeching aside, bashing clean through a random cabbage cart as its owner dove out of the way.
"Sweet easta'..." the merchant marveled as he sat there on the pavement.
The enemy car attempted the same stunt, but he wasn't fast enough, resulting the rear car slamming into its side both of them crashing through a jewelry store.
The third muscle car was still on their track; the upper window flipped open as another masked thug arose from the opening, aiming his AK-47 at the target and unleashing a round of bullets.
"Take da wheel, Mushi; dis fool be askin for it..." Zuko commanded as he opened the driver's door.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Nephew..." Iroh replied with concern, worming into the driver's seat.
Zuko climbed up on the top of his ride, standing upright and facing the gunmen; he leaped in the air with his left foot extended, allowing the man's nose to smack against the heel of Zuko's boot.
Zuko rolled onto the ground smoothly; the driver jerked the car around in a desperate attempt to run over the teen.
"Benda please," the scarred bounty hunter scoffed, whipping out his signature magnum pistol and fired a sure shot that nailed the man square in the head; the car swerved past Zuko and crashed into an ice cream truck: no one was hurt, except the ice cream truck.
Zuko shook his head."Brothas ain't knowin who deyz messin with; m, Agni ha mercy..."
Zuko shot up from his sleeping bag, shaking his head rapidly. This in turn awoke his uncle Iroh, whome stared at him with concern.
"You had that dream again, didn't you, Zuko? Iroh asked.
"Yes, Uncle, I had it again; this time you were there," the prince of the Fire Nation responded while rubbing his temples.
"Well, I am sorry, Zuko; it is likely a sign of deep anxiety." The other prince of the Fire Nation speculated.
"Likely? Likely!?" he spun to his uncle. "We've wandered the Earth Kingdom for a month just trying not to get caught or killed by anyone who recognizes us, all because of my own father want's us in chains! I can't believe this is my life!" he shouted as he plopped back to the ground.
"Well, Zuko," Iroh began, "look on the bright side-"
"Literally everyone on the planet wants. to. kill. us..." Zuko hissed.
Iroh shrugged."Well...they haven't yet..."
"And when they do?" Zuko grilled.
"Just pray it is an earthbender that will quickly and painlessly crush us with a giant boulder." Iroh responded."Or we get blown up. What more of a spectacular death could we ask for than to explode in an enormous ball of fire!" He beamed.
"That's easy for you to say, old man!" Zuko shouted."At least you've lived a nice long life with some semblance of honor; I'll have none of that. Someone else will capture the Avatar, my sister will take the throne, and nobody will remember me..." he vocalized in brutal detail.
"Which, my I remind you, Zuko, all depends upon whether or not someone will kill us. Do not give in to despair, Zuko; only then will you truly lose all hope." Iroh comforted.
"Well be sure to help me find what hope I have left to lose..." Zuko curled back into his bag."I can be sure of one thing, Uncle: no one else in the entire world is having it worse than me..."
"No one else in the entire universe could have it worse than me..." Vegeta mumbled, curled up in a sleeping bag.
Moving on to the plot, we transition to see Appa gliding casually over a broad swamp-based landscape.
"Okay, here's what I'm thinking..." The Avatar began, "We back go to the Northern Air Temple where Teo's dad helps build a new spaceship; then we travel to that planet with all the flying people; then we bring back all sorts of technology and revolutionary agricultural techniques and bring them before the Fire Lord, and he's so amazed that he decides to end the hundred-year War in order to establish a coalition between the two worlds," he explained.
Vegeta rolled his eyes."Child, if you honestly expect a more advanced race to come down and solve all your problems, you obviously haven't the slightest idea how colonization works," he dismissed.
Still recovering from the tragic loss of his Saiyan armor, the prince was forced to make a substitute: he decided to try on the clothing Sokka wore during the previous winter season (much to Sokka's disdain), clad in a dark blue tribal garment that enveloped his entire body (much to Katara's disappointment), as well as a pair of old but sturdy boots and beige torso armor that he "borrowed" from one of the Earth Kingdom rebels (no seriously, he asked permission and they lend it to him). He had long strips of white cloth tightly wrapped around his forearms, which also covered his palms and the back of his hands, making the strenuous compromise of leaving his fingers exposed (you know, like Rock Lee?). In stark contrast, their sunlight draining hostage, Mai, upon Vegeta discovering the multitude of blades and darts hidden beneath her baggy clothing, was prompted to strip the girl down to a pair of brown raggish undergarments (which Sokka took little issue with). But, parentheses aside...
"Still can you imagine how wonderful that would be?" the waterbender dreamed, "to actually go out there; out through the stars, exploring other planets and life and ethnicity...the passionate, undisturbed love we could mak-I mean, um, Bagels! Yes, heh, think of all the lovely bagels we could make! Yes, bagels are what I meant, heh heh...mmmm, bagels..." she breathed, resting her chin in her palm thoughtfully.
Indeed, the Saiyan was becoming weary of these children's ongoing fantasies about space traveling, much less the teenage waterbender's prevailing obsession towards the Saiyan's admittedly perfect body; and on a rather ironic note, the stubborn unbelief of the novice warrior wasn't growing in him either. not like building a ship was even an option; Vegeta doubted this world's top brains could even comprehend a lightbulb, never mind a space pod...
"But only after we stop by the planet where you reestablish your grip on reality!" Sokka squawked in a fit of frustration.
"And a twenty thousand pound buffalo that can fly just by flapping its tail is realistic?" queried the indecently dressed goth.
"Hey, I never said it was this planet..." the boy remarked.
And, if such a possibility a ship already was in the process of assembly, there certainly was zero chance of anyone accompanying him, let alone allow said craft to be big enough for more than one person. Vegeta gazed up beyond the clouds: how wonderful was the thought, soaring through the atmosphere, sailing back into the cosmos, escaping the insanity of this rock at last; perhaps his power would rush back to him at the very instant, and then he'd just blow up this cursed planet. No, no he would just leave, let these children continue their shamble of resistance, only to run broken and destroyed by their inevitable failure, and pay for their attempts to vanquish the Prince.
Alas, all this now appeared as likely as Kakarot coming back from the dead and earning a Ph. D. in quantum physics; his hopes of ever making it off this world were now more crushed than ever before...
It was at that moment that the turbulent winds that accompanied flight were starting to subside; the Saiyan leaned over the edge of the saddle; using the horizon as a measurement, he not only deduced that the bison was slowing down but also descending closer to the swamp.
Vegeta turned to the Avatar, who was peering down into the swamp mindlessly.
"Hey! Airbender! Mind the reigns!"
The bald child snapped out of his trance." Huh? Mind who's reigns?" he turned to Vegeta.
"Care to explain why we're losing altitude?" the Saiyan demanded.
The Avatar blinked."What? I didn't even notice..." he admitted.
"Are you noticing now?" Vegeta gestured outward, Sokka much distracted by Mai to make the comment himself.
Aang returned his attention to the swamp." I know this is gonna sound weird, but...I think the swamp is...calling to me..." he tried to explain.
"Is it telling you to give me my clothes back?" the goth asked.
The Saiyan snorted."Good luck with that road, sister..."
"No, I...I think it wants us to land there..." Aang lipped as if he didn't believe what he was saying.
Frankly, neither did Vegeta." And perhaps I want to annihilate the planet; we all have to compromise at some point..." he retorted.
"I don't know..." Aang struggled, "Bumi said to learn earthbending I would have to wait and listen; and now I'm actually hearing the earth..." he then smiled giddily to himself,"I also can't get that 'eighty-sixth jin-' joke outta my head..."
Vegeta rolled his eyes: he was still trying to."Look, boy, do you think you can resist your mud fetish long enough to managed your animal? I already have enough sensual tension radiating from your two friends, now pull back up and focus!" he commanded the boy.
The Avatar's smiled vanished."Okay, I guess since you feel so strongly about this...bye, swamp..." he whipped Appa's reins, "Yip-Yip!" he cried, compelling the beast to reascend and pick up some speed.
Vegeta glared."And would you kindly seize with the tornado? You're not making me feel guilty..."
"Tornado?" Sokka questioned; he then suddenly heard a loud swirling noise behind him; he turned to the opposite direction to see the source of the sound: an enormous spiraling behemoth, barreling straight for the bison at a terrifying speed, shredding up the swamp forestry as it went.
Sokka blinked."Oh, that tornado..." he said in a perfectly calm and casual tone; he then turned back around and returned to his sitting position as if he saw nothing, sitting there quietly...
...
...
...
...His expression perked up."...wait, OH NO-!", right before they were all devoured by the spinning giant. The monstrous winds immediately tore the five from the bison, sending them all screaming ( except Mai, who had her arms crossed) down into the swamp, kicking up dust clouds respectively.
Vegeta's head sprang out of the murky surface, inhaling loudly; the Saiyan arose to his feet out from the shallow water, surveying the environment. The Saiyan wiped off most of the mud from his makeshift armor, noting that, despite the violent ordeal, he bore no injury whatsoever. Naturally, this knowledge made him smirk.
"Hah! Is that all you got, Mr. Twister!? All the forces of nature can't compare to the godlike endurance of Super Vege-!" right before being flattened under Appa's grand blubber, the ten-ton bison having slammed right on top of him, the lemur quietly perching atop his horn.
A muffled grunt of agony muttered beneath the animal's belly.
Following the next three and a half hours, Vegeta was riding the Avatar's bison, Dappa (or was it Kappa? it definitely had an 'appa' in it; at this point, he might as well be calling him Nappa...) across the dirty river, doing his best to navigate out of the disgusting swamp; the warrior attempted utilizing the animal's flying ability to escape immediately, but he was soon prevented by the countless layers of vegetation (that did sound an awful lot like his name, didn't it? Stupid old man...). On the tenth try, he ended up tangling the whole bison in a multitude of vines, so much that they actually supported the beast's weight, leaving them suspended in the air. Vegeta was forced to use his ki to cut the vines, successfully freeing the beast, but not before the creature's orientation was somehow altered so that the bison was dropped back-first and that Vegeta ended up under the bison's back in mid-fall, resulting in the monster falling on top of him a second time; Vegeta soon decided to simply follow the river and not think about flying, though the utter stench of this deplorable biosphere alone was enough to tempt the eleventh try...
It wasn't necessarily his surroundings that unnerved the Saiyan - he'd been through even more repulsive environments; only in those cases, Vegeta still enjoyed the privilege of an advanced, element resistant space suit that shielded him from all the dirt, slime, and blood that tended to splash all over him, instead of his makeshift homage to that suit that actually absorbed every particle of filth it came into contact with and saturating his skin with mud and gunk and everything else under the sink (that is, besides all the cleaning chemicals...); on a side note, the prince was only in environments such as these long enough to wipe them from the face of the globe: another blessed luxury stolen from him, the perpetrators most likely being the Avatar and his tribal friends, who probably were coordinating all the events that have transpired so far, right down to Vegeta being trapped in this swamp without his armor; at this point, the only factor left to determine was what he will have for breakfast the morning after he carves the boy's spleen out with a moldy ice-cream scoop.
On the other hand, the prince didn't actually plan on searching for said conspirators, opting to abandon them and find his way out of this distasteful climate - Vegeta couldn't help but smile at the image of those inept children lost in the midst of the swamp, gradually slipping into madness and killing each other out of paranoia, perhaps kidnapped by some group of savages and sacrificed to their heathen gods, or even contracting some agonizingly fatal swamp disease or toxin; the scavengers would slowly consume their lifeless bodies, and soon there would be nothing left of them but another unpleasant memory, fading away into mere lore and myth, thus ridding the universe of one more minuscule piece of refuse, as if they never even existed to begin with...
Of course, Vegeta would have to get out of this swamp first if he were to fully entertain such a precious thought. Honestly, the Saiyan saw no need to complain at this point, now retaining an adequate substitute of transportation (the bison), a faithful companion/meal(the lemur), as well as he ki steadily returning (although it seemed a fair estimate that his powers probably would be recovering sooner were it not for that accursed gymnast and her chi blocking technique; he will one day uncover the mechanics behind that deadly but mysterious technique known as "tickling" as well...) And, as a bonus, it felt as though that gargantuan kidney stone was on the verge of passing.
Indeed, things were actually starting to revolve towards the Saiyan's favor; it seemed like smooth sailing from here on, just as long as the prince didn't run in to any-
"Hey, Tho! Look over yonder!" called a shrill voice.
"Well, I'll be...!" answered a gritty voice.
Vegeta mentally slapped his forehead."...natives..."
The Saiyan realized he had his eyes closed for the duration of the thought; when opened them, he saw a small river canoe drifting towards him, piloted by two greasy, half-naked (or perhaps even less than that...) men wearing large leaves on their hats; one was rather short, awfully fat, had five o'clock shadow and swollen lower lip; the other was significantly taller, with a mop of messy hair and disturbingly long armpit fuzz.
"Aw, rabbitdog-gawnit, Tho, I was hopin' we'd find a meal on this here trail..." the skinny one moped.
"Yeah, I was hopin' so too, Due; looks like this here spiky-haired fella' beat us to em'..." the fat one lamented. The two had an annoyingly distinct Southern accent, not unlike that of the inhabitants of Space-Mississippi.
"Oh well, at least we got ourselves a visitor!" the skinny one identified as "Doo" beamed regardless, "We don't get a lot o' those out here..."
" I simply cannot imagine why..." Vegeta remarked snidely, looking in another direction.
The bony swampmen shrugged."Well, it's probly' on account o' bein' a perilous wilderness full o' ferocious predators, disease-ridden insects, cannibals, an' more poisonous plants then there're hairs on the back o' every baboon mammoth on the face o' the earth; also, there's a gigantic plant demon that lives at the center of the swamp..." he rubbed his chin,"But aside o' that, I can't think o' nuthin' else..."
The shorter, stalkier swampmen rolled his eyes."Dagblasted, Due, he said that on purpose! Ain'tchya ever heard of a 'ironic statement'?" he reproached the taller male.
It then clearly just dawned on the skinny native."Oh, I gets it! Heh, you're perty funny there!" he chuckled."So, what brings a guy like you all the way ta' good ol' Foggy Swamp?"
"Would you believe a homicidal tornado?" Vegeta tried.
The fat one raised an eyebrow."A tornado that kills other tornadoes? Sounds perty crazy..."
The Saiyan snorted - compared to these last few days, it was actually very reasonable..." Indeed. Well, it was nice meeting you kind locals, but I really need to be leaving; would you mind to give the fastest route out of the swamp?" the prince asked as politely as possible.
"Well that there's an easy one!" 'Doo' smiled,"All ya gotsta' do is get as far away from the tree as ye can, an' ya'll o' be outta here in no time," he explained.
"Ah, I see..." Vegeta nodded...
...
...
...
...Vegeta looked around a little, then looked back to the two." I am sorry, which tree was that?"
The two swamp natives blinked.
"...The tree..." the skinny man lipped.
"Yes, yes, I know, but which tree?"
The fat one arched another eyebrow."Whaddya mean 'which tree'?"
"I mean which tree, in particular, do I avoid?" Vegeta explained.
"I just told ya' which tree..." Du responded confusedly.
Vegeta's eyes narrowed."No you didn't, you just said to avoid a tree," he reminded.
"Not a tree: the tree," Du replied.
Vegeta rolled his eyes."I know, but which tree exactly!?"
"Well, I think it's kinda' obvious which tree..." the fat one retorted.
Vegeta was getting annoyed." No it isn't - in case you haven't noticed, we're surrounded by trees," he said, trying to keep his cool.
The skinny one gained a quizzical expression." Wh-?-No we ain't! There's only one tree in this whole swamp!" he replied.
At this statement, time almost froze; both Vegeta and Momo stared awkwardly at the two natives; they exchanged bewildered glances at eachother, then looked back at the two...
The Saiyan twitched quite visibly...
"What's that over there?" Vegeta inquired as calmly as possible, pointing to a tree.
The fat one followed his finger."Well, I reckon that there's a branch."
"And what is that branch connected to?" Vegeta asked.
"The tree..." answered the skinny one matter-of-factly.
"This tree?" Vegeta queried for clarity.
"What tree?" asked the fat one.
"da one I'm pointing to..." Vegeta replied through gritted teeth.
"Well that ain't no tree; that there's a branch," explained the skinny one.
"YES! And it is connected to THIS TREE that I am pointing to, RIGHT!? Just like all of the other branches that are connected to all the other trees that we are SURROUNDED BY!" Vegeta cried. He took a deep breath..."...So I asked you two again: which one of these trees am I supposed to avoid...?"
The two fishermen stared at the Saiyan as if they knew he was an alien; they exchanged glances...
The fat one glared at the prince."Dang, man, if you can't understand directions that simple, then you're just about as dumb as you look." Tho concluded honestly.
Vegeta's kidney stone passed.
"There it is again," Toph complained as she sat at the tea-table.
"There's what again, honey?" Poppy inquired as she sipped her drink.
"That screaming: for the past few days, I keep hearing some guy screaming at the top of his lungs somewhere out in the distance; it's like somebody's being tortured relentlessly or something," the blind girl explained.
"I don't hear anything..." Lao said indifferently.
"Well I do, and it's getting on my nerves," Toph continued.
"Well, that simply doesn't make sense," Toph's mother questioned, "How is it that you can hear something that we can't? It's not as if you have some special sixth sense that amplifies your hearing; and if you did, we'd certainly know of it..."
"Your mother's right, Toph," Lao agreed stoically, "We're your parents, we know everything about you; now drink your tea and forget this nonsense," he finalized, taking another sip of Jasmine.
The third-time champion of the Earth Rumbler Tournament crossed her arms." I will find the source of that screaming; and when I do, somebody's gonna get buried..." she thought to herself, her blind eyes narrowed with determination.
The two natives unclenched their ears, staring at the warrior with bewilderment.
"Wuuuwee! That was louder than loudest screamin' owl I ever done heard!" Du marveled.
A white aura ignited around the Saiyan."AND IT'S THE LAST THING YOU INFERNAL REDNECKS WILL EVER...!" Though before the space-man could say "hear", a stange slimy sound gurgled behind him, along with a large shadow gradually eclipsing him and even the bison.
Realizing this, Vegeta wheeled around to blast anything that dared interrupt his speech, until he saw something that made his aura dissapate: a gigantic beast composed purely out of swamp vines, with only a small featureless wooden face to denote its head.
"Ooooh, you done did it now," Du announced, "Done gone and woke up the swamp demon..."
"Come on, Du, let's get outta here an' leave Hyu t'his bidness'!" Tho cried.
Way ahead o' ya, Tho!" Du agreed. With that, the natives turned around and used water bending to jet off the opposite direction.
The Saiyan was now left alone with the monster that dwarfed even the bison. The creature drooped its wooden head down toward him.
Vegeta was frozen-It was not in an elite Saiyan's nature to flee from danger, and yet...
"YIP YIP, NAPPA!" Vegeta commanded the bison, urging it to increase its speed as the humongous plant monster continued down the river after them.
Things were getting worse by the nanosecond; how was he to know that the creature was sensitive to loud noises!?
As the chase went on, Vegeta tried fending off the monster with a rapid dispersal of ki balls, but the demon absorbed the shots with its own plant body; random vines from every direction sprung out through the trees, trying to snatch the Saiyan clean off the bison; these only added to the targets of the prince's ki volley.
That tore it: there was no longer a doubt in Vegeta's mind that rotten bald child had it out for him - why else would he have started to descend into the swamp unless to drop Vegeta down here into the predicament which he was currently in? And what about that awfully convenient homicidal tornado (or wouldn't it have been heterocidal? Gah with the prefixes...!)? How ludicrous it was for anyone to think the great and wise Avatar had no knowledge of this beast's existence? The prince had been Gollum'd from the start!
About twenty feet into the bison's path, a horde of vines shot up from the river surface, prompting the Saiyan to yank the reigns with all his depowered might, which in turn prompted the bison to rear its bulk in the air at a forty-degree angle.
Vegeta realized that wasn't as smooth as it seemed, as now the bison was about to fly into a wall of leaves and other forestry. As (N)appa tore through the flora, Vegeta was smacked in the face by multiple branches, fruit, squirrels, and so many leaves as to blind his view entirely. By the time the bison blew out the shrubbery, Vegeta had to wipe the leaves off his face to see again. He noticed that a pair of half coconuts were stuck to his chest like a bra, his waist was lined with leaves like a skirt, and some of the juice from the splattered fruit was crudely smeared over his face like lipstick. There was also a small pudgy white bird perched on his right shoulder; Vegeta stared at the bird for a second or two before the bird let out an ear-piercing shriek right into his ear, causing the Saiyan to yell and wildly flail his arms all over the place until all his "make-over" slipped off of him. "IS THERE NO END TO THIS INSANITY!?"
As if to respond, a huge arm composed of vines swung at his head from the left that Vegeta just barely ducked under - the swamp demon was still perusing him.
"Alright, you asked for it, swamp-hole...!" the prince announced, steadily arising to his feet on (N)appa's back in the center of the saddle; he then raised a hand to the monster and shouted,"BIG BANG ATTACK!"...
...
...Again, nothing happened.
Vegeta stared at his fingers with even more bewilderment than three days ago."What!? Oh come on, I can do all the basic ki attacks, why not the advanced ones!?" he demanded to the heavens. The Saiyan then had an epiphany...
Vegeta then raised his hand once again toward the beast once again, this time shouting,"LITTLE BANG ATTACK!" Upon doing so, an intensely powerful ball of energy burst out of the Saiyan's hand, slamming into the monster's face with a big explosion that consumed it.
After briefly averting his eyes from the explosion, the prince laughed in triumph...which soon deflated as the creature lurched out of the smoke and resumed its persuit of the Saiyan, the attack having little more than slowed it down.
Vegeta let his arms dangle in disbelief: just how was he supposed to stop this relentless abomination!? All the prince could do was hope that this bison could eventually outlast-
...wwwwwwaitaminute...
That was it: in all the commotion, it somehow eluded Vegeta that the animal he was currently seated upon was not only a twenty thousand pound bison, but a twenty thousand pound flying bison whose skull is undoubtedly as thick as solid steel; of course, the bison clearly wasn't as large as the monster, but surely the mass of the bison combined with its current momentum would be more than enough to incapacitate this vile creature.
Yeah, yeah that's what he'll do: he'll just gather a little distance between them, yank this hairy sucker into a u-turn and wham! We'll see who's running from who...
Of course, this seemingly intuitive thought was interrupted by the screeching lemur as it rapidly tugging at Vegeta's (Sokka's) shirt, as if it was desperately wanting the Saiyan to look out behind him; this tugging naturally irritated the prince." Grrr, What is it, you stupid bat-thing!? Can't you see I'm in the middle..." he started as he turned around...only to see a huge log far too thick to go over or around, especially at the bison's present velocity.
"...oh..."
The bison slammed into the log with so much force as to cause the rest of the animal's body to fling upward, catapulting Vegeta straight through the trees and unnaturally soaring through the sky.
As Aang trekked through the woods, a blur of Vegeta could be seen passing overhead. Aang stopped at the sound of the feint scream, and looked in multiple directions, but saw no one.
A spiky-haired blue blur splashed into a shallow pond of muddy water, causing the area to be re-enveloped beneath an explosion of swamp goop.
Sonic the Hedgehog dizzily emerged from the pond covered in mud."Aw, man, I just got out of a swamp..." he grimaced.
Vegeta groggily arose from the surface next to him, feeling his head; the Saiyan paused, and swung his head toward Sonic, staring at him in bewilderment."YOU AGAIN!?" he bellowed.
The hedgehog balked in fear."Uh-oh! Wrong universe!" he cried, vanishing in a greenish light before Vegeta could tackle him, causing the prince to once again fall into the mud.
Vegeta again sprung out of the mud, whipping his head in every direction; seeing that he was alone.
The Saiyan mildly cursed on the inside: he thought he had obliterated that damn transforming hedgehog in a battle to the death years ago, though he did recall the rodent at first being black with red stripes and different shoes; he smacked his face with both hands: clearly, the stress was driving him insane.
Especially considering just how much Vegeta had to be stressed about - how he was stranded in the middle of a swamp with no transportation, sense of direction, or dinner; along with his(Sokka's) clothes so torn up and filthy he might as well continue his journey in his underwear (which, honestly would've provided the most protection either way...)
"No matter," thought the Saiyan, "I've persevered the wilderness without Nappa before, and I'll do it again..." Of course he was once again forced to remind himself that during those particular missions he had the power to destroy said wilderness on hand at all times, but those wildernesses were all home to creatures infinitely more terrible than the wildlife here, so the scenario was the same proportionally; right now he had to get a layout of his surroundings.
Vegeta waded out of the pond onto a reasonably dry patch of land, walking up to a green tree trunk that looked as if it reached up beyond the vines. It was no puzzle - all he needed to do was...well...do that thing that flightless animals did to reach higher elevations; what was it called? Clumbing? Cloombing? It just then occurred to the Saiyan that he had never performed an action even remotely similar to this, as he had always been able to simply fly over any vertical obstacle, and he meant always.
As a boy, he would listen to accounts of doctors and nurses of a new-born Saiyan infant firing out of his mother's-
Vegeta shook the memory away, there was no time for nostalgia; right now, the prince had to figure out how the mechanics of these actions: Vegeta likened it to crawling upon the ground, pulling one's body forward with his arms and push with legs; it sounded simple enough until the Saiyan realized had never crawled before either...
He smacked his forehead, frustrated by his dependence on ki-fueled self-propulsion. Nevertheless, he carried out his strategy. He walked up to the tree, and halfheartedly pressed both his hand against the trunk, and tried to haul himself upward by sliding his hands down against the tree, only succeeding in scraping them against the rough bark, immediately yelping in brief pain and jerking his hands away, tentatively rubbing his sensitive palms. Vegeta had forgotten the tragic loss of his armor (especially his gloves) during the battle in Omashu; he clenched his fists, "That princess will pay for exposing my Elite fingertips to this filth!"
Clearly, sliding them against the bark was not sufficient traction to lift him up the tree; perhaps if the Saiyan were to grab the tree, he would have the necessary traction needed. Vegeta latched his fingers around one side of the tree and the other set of fingers around the other side, and pulled hard; this only resulted in Vegeta slamming his face against the bark and toppling over to the ground, clutching his nose.
Vegeta angrily shot back up to his feet and punched the defiant cedar, forcing the warrior to balk away and clench his damaged knuckles, grunting all manner of alien profanity to himself. The mighty Prince of Saiyans was being bested by a tree! The prince took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around the giant plant, safely pushing his chest against the bark; with a decent amount of strength, he held his upper half in place as he slowly lifted his legs and dug his heel into the tree, successfully suspending his body off the ground.
Vegeta laughed in victory until he realized that was merely the first step, and then he could only think to himself: What does he do next?
He supposed he could just repeat the pattern over and over until he reached the top. The Saiyan carefully and nervously inched his left arm upwards, then his right arm, then he lifted his left leg and placed his heel in a higher spot, and then repositioned his right heel to a slightly greater elevation. Vegeta let out a breath of relief - he was making progress with this cloombing thing already, all he needed to do now was continue up the tree...
It was a long and grueling journey; the tree seemed to go on forever. Vegeta aggressively latched one hand after the other onto the pillar of wood, releasing a brutish grunt with each hand, beads of warm sweat dripping from his growling face, jerking his body ever higher and higher; when the Saiyan felt exhausted by the long ascension, he decided to remain at his current altitude and to recuperate. He looked down to check his progress...
...he was only six feet off the ground...
"WHAT!? YOU GOTTA BE $& #ING JOKING!" Vegeta whaled; he then lost his grip and fell right back to where he started. The prince angrily pounded the ground, splashing mud everywhere including on himself. The tired Saiyan groaned as he arose, kicking and thrashing his fists around like a spoiled child. He leaned against the tree trunk in anxiety; as he looked down, he saw something rather strange: this tree had no roots at its base, which perplexed the Saiyan, as every tree he had ever seen/obliterated quite clearly had roots to suck up water and soil; Vegeta assumed that these roots were buried beneath the swampage, until he recalled what those primitive said about there only being one tree in the whole swamp. Vegeta then speculated that said tree could be so large that its own roots extended through the swamp and that these "trees" were in fact extensions of one great plant, perhaps even composing the swamp itself. The Saiyan realized in hindsight he could've asked those swamp hill-billies (swamp-billies?) to point to that tree so Vegeta could move on in the direction opposite. The Saiyan considered wandering around the swamp until he found the tree and gain a sense of the layout of the environment...
The prince's thought was interrupted by a strange tingling sensation on his left hand, which was leaning against the tree trunk; Vegeta lifted his head to see the anomoly...
There was a little worm crawling along with his index finger...
"WORM!" Vegeta shouted in fear, tearing his hand from the tree and instinctively firing a ki blast at the tree itself, causing an explosion that rattled the tree, stirring hundreds of worms out of the bark.
Vegeta watched in horror as the tree trunk was gradually covered beneath a blanket of slimy, squishy, disgusting worms; the worms grew so great in number that a portion of them crawled down from the tree and on the ground, inching towards Vegeta.
"nn-n-nn-No! NO! STAY BACK, YOU MONSTERS!" the petrified Saiyan tried to warn them, shooting three more ki balls at the murky ground, creating more explosions which prompted countless more of the small demons to emerge from the mud itself, cutting off all exits from Vegeta.
The Saiyan whipped his head all over the place: they were everywhere, coming out from every opening, encircling Vegeta in an ocean of gooey evil, gradually shrinking the space between them and their alien prey. Vegeta desperately stomped and kicked the foul creatures, even picking up mud and throwing it at them, but he stop and screamed when he saw that the latest mudball he held was also full of worms, and rapidly shook the mud off his hand, only to see the minuscule abominations emerging out of his own clothing.
"NOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE EATING MEEEEEEEEEE!" The prince shrieked hysterically, so driven insane by fear that he rented every article of clothing from his body down to his black underwear, blindly sprinting through the jungle.
A troop of Fire Nation soldiers slowly made their way through the swamp, led by a wealthy, self-pronounced explorer by the name of Chun Tou, who was a passionate believer in the idea that there was still some wonder left in this world, and was determined to prove it by entering an unknown place known simply as the Foggy Swamp.
Most of his nation didn't believe that any civilization could thrive, let alone survive within this harsh and deadly environment, even the very men escorting him were skeptical, but his perseverance and outright charisma allowed him to convince the Fire Lord to grant him the authority of a small army, and embark on what was sure to be one of the greatest journeys in Fire Nation history.
The pioneer's thoughts of grandeur were silenced upon the sight of a screaming half-naked man leaping out of the vegetation and falling on the muddy ground before the explorer and his men, rolling back and forth while yelling and contorting his body in various poses.
"It's one of the swamp cannibals!" The front-most member of the personnel announced, readying his trusty sword.
"Hold on!" Chun Tou stopped him, grabbing the handle of the soldier's weapon, "Can't you see this native is under a tremendous deal of pain?" He explained. Chun Tou then turned to the screaming man, and took a good look at him; the explorer then discovered the source of his suffering: his body was covered in what appeared to be a fleet of poisonous Kaiju worms! Although Chun Tou could only assume they were indeed Kaiju worms, given that he had little knowledge of the swamp's wildlife - they could just easily be nonpoisonous worms that merely resembled the deadly Fire Nation worm. Still, Chun Tou's judgment has never failed him before, and this savage would not be behaving so radically if he didn't believe his life was not in danger. The ambitious adventurer could only assume the worst...
"Kaiju worms! The only way to get them off him is to burn them off!" Chun Tou announced to his army; he then turned and shot a blast of fire that hopefully was small enough not to injure the native further.
Unfortunately, the savage saw the fire and instinctively rolled out of its way.
"Hold still, man! This is the only way to remove those parasites!" Chun Tou tried to assure the native as he continued to shoot fireballs at him. Unlike most so-called 'colonists', Chun Tou did not trust in fear or violence to take a village, for how can the riches and glory of the Fire Nation be wrought through death and oppression? Rather, Chun Tou sook to build up a village, improving the lives of the people; giving them better clothing, tools, medical care, and education; while endeavoring to make certain that the people were not too dependent on them; he believed that if the Fire Lord wanted the whole world, the world needed to want him first. And at this very moment, this poor primitive desperately needed the aid of a firebender. If only he would hold still...!
"Quick, Men! Burn these leeches off of this native before it's too late!" the heroic figure commanded his possy; he and other firebenders kept on shooting fireballs at the savage, who persisted to avoid their shots. Finally, the primitive ran away from them, still screaming.
But Chun Tou ran after him - his soul simply would not rest until this poor man was rescued!
"Wait! We're trying to help you!" the explorer tried to convince the stranger as he and his whole enterprise pursued the screaming man, shooting volleys of fireballs at him.
The swamp echoed with his scream.
It was nighttime, the swamp was alive with dis-coordinate noises...
Huddled next to a campfire and shivering was the half-naked Vegeta, only he was not shivering out of wanting for warmth, but out of pure anger. The Saiyan could not believe he could be brought down so low by sheer bad luck. Of course, the real bad luck truly started when he left Ee-arth in the first place, kind of made the prince regret having that argument with Bulm- NO! He is NOT taking that back! There was not one thing in the whole multiverse that would EVER coerce him to reverse his resolution! Not the cave, not the loss of his armor, not that crazy king, nothing...
If that woman wants to go ahead and turn a Saiyan prince into a damn pencil-pusher, Vegeta will have no part of it! Tch, that planet was probably better off without the Saiyan anyhow, they do have their precious half-breed to look after them after all...
"Hmf, no use even thinking about it..." thought the prince, deciding to get some sleep; he had a feeling it was going to be a rough morning...
Strangely, that rough morning never came; his trek through the swamp was so far a favorably quiet one. Indeed, the Saiyan was currently aimlessly wandering around in a dense jungle wearing nothing but tight black spandex boxer shorts - which now kind of concentrated its tightness around his tender regions - but it was still a step up from the chaotic events of yesterday.
Vegeta had no intention of even trying to find the one tree (of course with his luck, he'll smack right into it); he simply resoluted to walk a straight path he made it out of the swamp, it wasn't as if it went on forever, right? Yes, just keep walking...
An hour later...
Just keep walking...
An hour and a half later...
Just keep walking...
An hour and forty-five minutes later...
Just keep on walkin'...
Two hours lat-
"Oh for the love of Freiza's farts, I HAVE BEEN WALKING IN THE SAME DIRECTION FOR OVER..." Vegeta counted..."SIX HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET OUT OF A SWAMP!?"
"Vegeta..."
"Not now, Nappa, can't you shut up fo-" Vegeta paused, "Nappa!?" he whipped his head in the direction of the voice...
...seeing nothing...
Could he have just imagined that? of-Of course he did; Nappa was dead-
'"Vegeta..."
He snapped his eyes all over the place, still seeing no one...
...that is until he decided to reveal himself...
A plume of mist gathered itself before the Saiyan, accumulating into a wall of fog, out of which emerged what looked like a zombiefied Nappa.
"Vegeta...why did you kill me...?" the ghostly Nappa moaned.
Vegeta blinked in shock."Wha-What do you mean why? You were paralyzed! You would've done the same thing to me!" Vegeta defended himself..
"Vegeta..." called another familiar voice from the fog.
Out emerged a zombified version of Raditz; this one had a gaping hole through his chest." Vegeta...why did you leave me to die...?" the lifeless Raditz moaned.
"Raditz!? I-! What was I supposed to do !? You were in an entirely different galaxy!" Vegeta responded.
"Vegeta..." yet a third voice called.
Out of the fog emerged his zombified father, the King of Saiyans, dried blood trickling from his mouth. "My son...why did you forsake your entire race...?" moaned the deceased King.
The prince couldn't speak."Father!? There-yo-Frieza-...it-it's not like could've done anything to stop him! What's going on here!?" Vegeta deman-
"Vegeta..."
"What, another one!?" Vegeta growled.
Out of the fog emerged a zombified Tarble."Brother...why didn't you stand up for me when I was exiled...?"
Vegeta stared at his younger brother incredulously."Are you serious!? It wasn't my fault your power level was so unforgivably tiny! Besides, if you have such a problem with Father's decision, go ahead and tell him! He's standing right next to you..."
"Vegeta..."
"Again with the voices!?" Vegeta grimaced.
Out emerged a zombified Turles."Vegeta...why wouldn't you elect me to your ranks...?"
Vegeta rolled his eyes."Look, I know you're pretty strong and all, but I just couldn't stand your endless chatter about mystical trees and...hang on a second-Tarble, are you even dead...!?"
"Vegeta..."
"Oh come on, who now!?" Vegeta yelled.
Out of the fog emerged the zombified form of Paragus."Why did you kill my son?"
"Well, excuse me for not wanting to be brutally killed! It was torture enough to share my energy with Kakarot! So what now, is your son going to ask me why I didn't let him destroy the galaxy? Look, if one more Saiyan ghost from my past pops out of nowhere, I'm going to-!"
"Father..."
The echo of that voice utterly neutralized Vegeta's irritation, as out of the fog came someone he'd never thought he'd see again.
"Father..." Trunks breathed,"...why didn't you save me?"
Vegeta's mouth hung open - this was not right."Trunks? You...why...why are you here? we...revived you already...y-you should be in the future killing those damn androids!"
"Vegeta..." echoed another voice, one more startling than his dead son.
"no..." Vegeta gaped, as out of the fog slowly limped...Bulma, broken and burned; she barely managed to lift her face, her dead eyes at Vegeta.
"...why...why did you leave? I...I lo...loved you..."
Vegeta, his eyes trembling, his open lips quaking found himself dashing for the dying woman before she collapsed into ash in his hands. He stared in horror as the very ashes in his hands faded into nothing.
"Vegeta..." came another voice that made his head snapped forward; it was Gohan.
"Vegeta..." then out came Piccolo.
"Vegeta..." then Krillin, then Yamcha, then Tien, then Chaotzu, Bumla's parents, Yajirobe, Korin, Master Roshi, 17 and 18 - everyone he met on earth came out of the fog, calling his name.
"What the hell is this!? None of these people are dead!"
"Vegeta..."
The people of Earth didn't stop there: out of the fog came Aang, Sokka, Katara, Mai, Ty Lee, Azula - all of the still-living people on this world.
The number kept growing, the voices grew louder, the gathering of ghosts of everyone he'd ever met, along with people he didn't even know, towering over him like a monolith of death, and atop that monolith emerged a shadow, a laughing figure with a voice he will never forget - the voice of the monster that killed Goku.
"Vegeta...You arrogant fool. Do you think you have nothing left to lose? I will take EVERYTHING FROM YOU!"
It hurled the fog of death at Vegeta. It swirled around him like a tornado. The countless screams forcing him to clutch his ears in mutual agony. He ran, he ran as fast as he could, no idea where but anywhere but here. But the fog did not stop, there was no end in sight, it began to consume him, taking him along with its victims. Vegeta yelled in desperation to escape the void, when suddenly...
He smacked right into Sokka, who smacked into Katara, who smacked into Aang, all four of them tumbling and splashing into a small murky pond.
"What do you guys think you're doing!?" Sokka arose angrily," I've been looking all over for you!"
Katara arose. "Well, I've been wandering around looking for you!"
"Yeah right. You were just looking for Vegeta!" Sokka presumed.
"WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL JUST HAPPENED!?" Vegeta shrieked as he exploded out of the water.
"Speak of the evil spirit, here he is..." Sokka pointed out.
The Saiyan prince wheezed hurricanes from his mouth, his bugged-out eyes darting everywhere; were it not for already being wet, he'd certainly be sweating bullets."You! Boy! Girl! You're alive!"
"What happened to you?" Aang asked.
The prince's breathing slowed down. He gulped."I..have no effing idea..."
Aang arose."Well, I was chasing some girl."
"What girl?" Katara asked.
"I don't know. I heard laughing and I saw some girl in a fancy dress." Aang explained.
"Well, there must be a tea party here and we just didn't get our invitations!" cracked Sokka.
Katara looked down for a moment, mournfully."I thought I saw Mom."
That got Sokka's attention. "...Look, we were all just scared and hungry and our minds were playing tricks on us. That's why we all saw things out here.
Katara perked up." You saw something too?"
"Oh thank Dende it wasn't just me..." Vegeta exhaled with relief.
Sokka turned his head away." I thought I saw Yue. But, that doesn't prove anything," he insisted, turning back to the others," Look, I think about her all the time, and you saw Mom, someone you miss a lot."
"What about me? I didn't know the girl I saw. And all our visions led us right here." Aang realized.
" Okay... so where's here? Katara asked," the middle of the swamp?"
"Yeah, the center..." Aang trailed off
The four soon realize that they are standing before the most gigantic tree they had ever laid eyes on.
"My god..." Vegeta stared in awe, "It's the Tree of Might! Turles was right all along!"
Sokka turned to Vegeta in confusion, "The what and who was right all along?"
"No, it's the heart of the swamp," Aang explained, beholding the magnificent plant," it's been calling us here...I knew it." He smiled.
Vegeta blinked." Hold on a moment, are you telling me that it was this thing that stranded us down here - stranded ME down here - and was filling my mind with that hellish nightmare all along!?"
Katara put her hand to her chin in thought."Huh, if that's the case, maybe it was the tree that took your power away..."
"THAT'S IT! THE TREE DIES!" Vegeta blared, holding his hand out for another Little Bang Attack before Aang zipped in front of the charging ki ball.
"Vegeta, wait! I don't think it took your bending away! I think it brought us here to tell us something!"
"To tell me what? That I'm a monster that destroys everything I love!? I've heard enough of that crap from all the people I've killed!"
"Well, in that case, maybe the tree has a point..." Sokka joked.
"Oh I'm sorry, smartass, would you like to join them?" Vegeta replied, directing the ki ball to the frightened Sokka."That's right, maggot, I'm the Prince of Saiyans! I do not answer the call of some hunk of wood! Now I suggest you run away as fast as you can before I blow this tree, this swamp, and every living thing in a hundred miles radius STRAIGHT TO-!"
"I'MBACK!" Hyu exclaimed as he exploded from the water, causing the four to scream in terror.
Later that day, the four were sitting around a campfire in the village of the Foggy Swamp Tribe, after a very big misunderstanding between them and the swamp's residents, whom it turned out were a community of waterbenders, including Hyu, who was merely bending the water in the plants to create a see-weed mobile suit to protect the giant tree. And Mai was there also, not that Vegeta cared.
"So, how you like that possum-chicken?" Due asked Sokka and Vegeta.
Sokka took another bite out of the meat."Tastes like arctic hen."
"I liken it more to space-poultry" Vegeta responded.
"So, where'd you say you were from?" Tho asked Vegeta.
"Vegeta," Vegeta responded.
"No, I know yer name, I was askin' about yer home."
"That is my home, or at least it was until Frieza annihilated it..." he explained,"Seriously, how did Nappa survive...How did RADITZ survive!?"
"Oh..." Tho muttered awkwardly."...How in the hell did a freezer destroy yer home?"
"Not 'freezer', swamp-billy, Frieza - He was the one who destroyed my home" Vegeta explained, though he then questioned why he did to this moron.
"Ooh, was he was he one o' them firebenders?" Tho asked.
"Keh, I wish..." Vegeta lamented.
"Sorry, guys, Vegeta isn't exactly from these parts..." Katara said.
"I'm still trying to figure out where he's from," Sokka followed up.
"So how'd ya end up out here?" Hyu asked.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Vegeta grunted,"I was traveling through the Dagobah System when suddenly I started to lose consciousness, and my ship just shut down," he explained crossing his arms, "The last thing I remember before passing out was a weird-looking comet..." he lamented.
This word caused Aang's eyes to grow in surprise."You saw a comet!?" Aang gasped.
"No, an omelet, what's it to you?" snapped Vegeta, surprised the primitive even knew what a comet was.
The Avatar rose to his feet."Because it sounds like you just described Sozin's Comet! It's a comet that flies around the world every hundred years; and when it does, it amplifies the power of every firebender, including the Fire Lord!"
"That's why we need to help Aang master all four elements and end the war; before the comet arrives by the end of the summer," Katara explained.
"So basically, it's like with Saiyans and a full moon?" Vegeta asked.
"You're people get stronger during a full moon? So do my people! See, we have something in common!" Katara beamed.
The prince snorted, now picturing the annoying teenager turning into an Oozaru and destroying this planet for him.
"Hang on a minute..." Aang thought, "what if it was Sozin's Comet that took your power away? I mean, you did pass out right after seeing it, right?"
"You just said it makes people stronger, so why the hell would it make me weaker?" countered Vegeta.
"Trust me, Vegeta, if you're any indication, stuff only gets weirder as long as you're with us..." Sokka concluded, laking another munch out of his giant bug.
"I'll take you up on that..." Vegeta agreed. Still, as he stared at the kids, he couldn't help being reminded of seeing them as floating corpses calling out his name, along with all those other idiots on earth. What kind of madness was that? They were all dead, along with everyone he knew that was actually dead. And at the crown of it all...him...
Vegeta shook his head. Whatever, he was definitely dead, down to the last particle, Vegeta made sure of that. And yet, he didn't understand what that had to do with all of the clearly living people he saw. He couldn't make sense of it.
Didn't matter though: the Avatar had his mission, and the Saiyan had his: to get his power back and get the hell off of this planet, with one question that stood in the way of both...
"How?" Vegeta vocalized.
"Actually, my name is Hyu." Hyu misunderstood.
"'Hyu' indeed..." Vegeta whispered, before taking another bite out of his possum chicken.