The Saiyan girl's nose wrinkled. She was coaxed awake by a very promising aroma."...fffooooood..." she mumbled, rolling onto her back, and rising to a seated position on the mat. She yawned and stretched her arms out, clicking her tongue. Then something caught her attention. She spun her curious face to her right to see one of Wa Shi Tong's foxy knowledge seekers, sitting in front of her and staring back.
This gave her pause; she rubbed her green eyes for extra clarity, and opened them wider."A knowledge seeker? What do you want?" she asked. But then another thought caused her to hop to her feet." I know you're not here to steal my stuff!" she flung her finger outward."Get outta my house!"
The fox tilted its head in confusion. Not long after, she found herself observing her surroundings, realizing she was quite clearly not home, but somewhere else that was quite familiar to a chosen few, which happened to include her.
Her brow scrunched."No..." she glared at the canine." Did you kidnap me!? How on earth did you even drag me all the way to the Library without me noticing!?" she shouted, her fingers clawed in frustration.
The fox did not respond.
She paused, and let her arms dangle."I'm talking to vermin..." she deadpanned. But then her attention was taken by the familiar scent."What is that? It smells delicious." she walked away, the fox following her. As soon as she left the room, her suspicion was confirmed: she was not home but in Wa Shi Tong's Library. How she got there was still a mystery. Nevertheless, her stomach growled, and she was stimulated to pursue the smell, walking through the vast isles of useless and boring knowledge. It smelled like possum chicken, but everything kind of smelled like possum chicken. This was rather odd, as she did not know this library to have a kitchen or any kind of food storage. Nor was it normal for the owl spirit to be cooking/eating anything. She was attracted to the star charting dome, perhaps the most interesting part of this monolith of overwhelming boringness, which was most confusing of all, as who would be cooking in that room? But as she rounded the corner and gazed into it, the occupancy and content within would stay with her for the rest of eternity.
For the lack of protest, Goku's clan decided to use Wa Shi Tong's library as a place of residence for the time being. With little else to do, the three built a giant rotisserie spit with which to cook the plucked and cleaned body of the giant fowl they had discovered in the star charting dome.
Goku sat on the floor, crossing his arms childishly." Is the food done yet?" he pouted.
"Not yet," said Bardock, rolling the spit.
"Yes, it is!" snapped Raditz, as he rolled the other end of the spit."It's absolutely well-cooked, but you never notice until it's too late and you end up burning just like always!"
"Hey, I'M the one cookin' here; it's done when I say it's done!" Bardock retorted.
"I refuse to let you ruin a perfectly good owl!" replied Raditz.
The Saiyan woman's eye twitched."...did you say 'owl'...?"
The three froze and spun their heads to see her with widened eyes and tight lips.
Radtiz's eyes swerved back and forth between her and the supernatural poultry."...no...?"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" she shrieked, her fingers clawed, and her voice echoing through the interior of the library.
Goku frightfully zipped up into a fighting stance."Crap! She's awake!"
"Thanks for the heads up, Goku..." his brother rolled his eyes.
"Hey, don't look at us," Bardock said, "We just found 'em this way."
"Oh really!?" She clenched her fists, her voice a tad deep and raspy for her age."Do you actually expect me to believe someone else murdered Wa Shi Tong, He Who Knows Ten Thousand Things, skinned his body, and left it to roast over a damn bonfire, and then you just conveniently came across it!?"
"Technically, we did do most of those things," Raditz pointed his thumb to the pile of giant black feathers behind him.
"You barbarians!" she yelled angrily."He was a noble and wise spirit that..." but then she paused again; her bewildered eyes scanned the furry monkey tails that wrapped around the waist of at least two of the men. She gasped."OH, DEAR SPIRITS! SAIYANS!" she whaled in terror, swinging her fist up to rip a huge stone boulder out of the ground and punching it at Goku, who caught it with his hands, grunting as the momentum caused him to slide backward.
"Watch the food!" Bardock shouted.
The woman brought her fists in, gathering up a hail of rocks to cover her forearms and make a pair of stone gauntlets; with a yell, she powered up, creating a green but normal aura.
"Really? Again?" Goku sweatdropped before also yelling, bursting into Super Saiyan, and hurling the boulder back at her. As the rock made contact, it exploded into a cloud of dust which spun around her and condensed into a full set of earth armor.
"Cool!" Super Saiyan Goku beamed.
"Die, Saiyan!" she cried as she dashed forward; Goku once again met her fists with his palms.
"What're you talking about?" Goku, now being a Super Saiyan while she currently wasn't and so was not at all struggling with holding her back, raised his glowing eyebrow."You're Saiyan too, ya know?"
"What!?" she grunted, trying to push him back further but failing."No I'm not! I'm an earthbender! Now shut up and die!"
Goku lifted her off her feet and blasted off upward; Bardock and Radtiz followed, grabbing each of her arms respectively; all three Saiyans slammed her into the domed ceiling and pinned her there. She struggled fruitlessly.
"You should no better than to attack a Saiyan the same way twice!" Radtitz threatened.
"Zenkai boosts only work when the attack almost kills us," Bardock reminded,"And we're already dead, so no power scaling loopholes for us, dumbass."
"Do your worst, Saiyans!" she yelled aggressively in Goku's face."I have trained my entire life for the day that you'd come!"
Goku smiled bashfully."Aw, you didn't have to do all that."
"You think this is a joke!?" she growled."I will destroy you! You will never hurt my people again. You may think I'm some kind of weak little girl, but you're not dealing with the average Earth Kingdom warrior anymore!"
"THAT'S IT! TIME OUT!" Bardock exclaimed as he yanked both his sons away from the girl, leaving her to feel her bruised chest."You were making more sense to us back when you were a mindless killing machine! How about you explain who the hell you are, if you actually can."
"Gladly," she glared, pounding her chest."My name is Suki, daughter of Avatar Kyoshi!"
The Saiyans Three blinked."...Who-ki?" they all asked.
With a kick, the Water Tribe servant woman was sent into the icy wall, yelping in pain as she hit the ground. She wept to herself as the offender loomed over her.
"You call this thing a pillow!?" Sokka Khan clutched the cushion in his tightening fingers."I feel like I've been resting my head against a block of ice!"
"But, sire!" the woman pleaded, her hands raised."your pillow IS a block of ice!"
Sokka Khan blinked..."...That's stupid! You're stupid! Die for your stupid sins!" he roared as he aimed a ki blast at her terrified head. The destructive light consumed her while suppressing her last scream. The tyrant stared at the melting wall in annoyance."Damn these elemental-themed cultures! I haven't executed this many servent women so often in centuries!" he turned around, looking at the rest of the terrified concubines. King Vegeta felt his stolen chin in contemplation as he scanned them."...You there!" he pointed to a seemingly random woman."I here by grace thee with the glorious title of head wench," he announced flatly, tossing her the frozen pillow."Try your best to be more competent than your predecessors."
The undead king paced all the way outside to a balcony, wearing a sour expression on Sokka's face the whole journey. He rested his knuckles against the railing, overseeing his new kingdom."No Planet Saiya, no planet named after me, no trustworthy heirs, and no body!" he complained; he looked up at the moon with the vain hope he would transform into a mighty Oozaru and level his own city. He never would have dreamed that being depressed was worse than being in Hell. The only creature that understood his pain was a freakish amalgam of the strongest species in the universe, which had his own body. All this gloom forced him to ponder if his conspiracy with Cell was truly worth it. He sighed."What's a king to do..."
Just then, the familiar ass-kissing servant from before entered from behind the sulking warlord." Lord Sokka," he bowed respectfully."I hope that it pleases you to know that reinforcements arrived from the south."
At this, the imposter paused, "Reinforcements?" he spun around in confusion."What reinforcements?"
The servant remained bowed."If this news does not please you, I will happily order their immediate execution." he said, holding out a telescope." alternatively, you may use this to pick them off at a distance for your pleasure, as they have not left their ship at this moment."
"Give me that!" the fake Sokka grunted, snatching the telescope and looking through it as he aimed it over the city and toward the waterfront."Which ship dares to dock into my city without my permission?"
"That would be the Fire Nation vessel commandeered by a troop of poorly disguised Water Tribe warriors, Your Majesty."
After a second of scanning, his lense happened upon said vessel; it had been intercepted by one of Sokka Khan's ships, and his own soldiers had used a plank to crossover onto the enemy boat. He could see them on the main deck, and one, in particular, seemed to be arguing with the city guard, presumably over the lack of qualifications to land. King Vegeta then saw the particular warrior waving his arms in a ghostly manner, which seemed to be an attempt to use some kind of mind trick to hypnotize the guard, which, judging by the guard's confusion followed by an irritated reaction, failed. King Vegeta wondered if the warrior might now try the old 'reaching for his qualification in his back pocket before assaulting the misdirected guard with a surprise Gallick Gun' trick.
But then, as he got a good look at the warrior's face, something clicked in the king's, or rather, Sokka's brain."Wait a minute, why does this human look so familiar- "
But he was cut off as the real Sokka snapped back into control."DAD!"
Hakoda sighed."Listen, I fully understand that when a Fire Nation Ship lands into your dock, and men in Fire Nation clothes wielding Fire Nation weapons walk up to you and say they're not Fire Nation, that it's pretty hard to believe but-"
"INCOMING!" Bato exclaimed.
The leader was cut off by the impact of the airborne Sokka crashing right into him, tackling the shocked Hakoda in a fierce hug.
"DAD!" Sokka cried.
"Sokka?" Bato realized.
"SOKKA!?" Sokka's father yelled, having not recognized him until Bato said so.
"I missed you so much!" Sokka continued."I tried so hard to protect the tribe while you were gone! There's much that happened since you left!"
"Son," Hakoda smiled, returning his boy's hug, "It's okay, I know. This war has driven us apart for too long. But I met Katara again too."
"You saw Katara?" Sokka asked.
"You think you can let me stand up now?" Hakoda asked flatly.
Sokka blinked, noting all the funny looks the soldiers were giving him."Sorry, Dad," he said as he unclasped his progenitor and helped him off his feet.
"Anyway, yes, I saw Katara, and all your friends, not the least of which is the Avatar."
"How are they?" Sokka asked anxiously.
"They're amazing!" Hakoda praised."Your sister has gotten so much stronger; she's training the Avatar how to waterbend. And she's infiltrating the Fire Nation with him. We're gonna meet up at a secret location close to the Fire Nation capital. We heard you were here in the North Pole, so we came to get you."
"What a great idea!"
The new voice chilled Sokka to the bone, as he and the others whipped their heads to Sokka's right: at the side end of the deck comfortably rested Perfect Cell with his arms crossed."I can't wait to meet Aang again..." he smirked.
"Cell!" Sokka spun his whole body toward him, arching his back forward.
"I apologize, Your Majesty." Cell teased, bowing in fake respect."I didn't know your father was coming over. Shall I arrange a banquet?"
"Who's this guy?" Bato asked.
"You said you met the Avatar right?" Cell asked, walking closer."So, I assume you've met Vegeta as well? Well then, consider me his star pupil."
"That maniac trained you?" Hakoda asked.
"Of course!" Cell smiled." I know all Vegeta's techniques; why, I know him more than he knows himself."
Sokka marched over to Cell, flinging out his signature accusatory finger of Sokka skepticism." I see what you're doing..." he hissed.
"And what would that be, Sokka Khan?" Cell sneered.
"You're trying to lull my dad into a fall sense of safety before you eat him..." he grunted through gritted teeth.
"How dare you," Cell replied, feeling his chest while feigning offense." As if I would lay a finger on my King's family," he leaned into Sokka's face,"or did you already forget who's really in charge? The only reason I haven't done anything yet is because I'm just waiting for King Vegeta to murder your father with your own hands before you do something stupid. Hell, I'm shocked he hasn't taken control already; probably needs you to sell it to your dad so he doesn't get suspicious. So as far as he's concerned, we're best f$%#king friends." he finished, looming over Sokka's increasingly anxious face. Cell patted the helpless Sokka on the shoulder as he walked passed him, and over to the confused Hakoda with open arms."But enough about me; you guys must be exhausted after such a long journey. How about we get smashed?"
The Saiyan named Suki dropped to her knees, her face saturated with despair. When she woke up, she naturally assumed that just outside of Wa Shi Tong's library was a desert, just as it had always been. But now, it was the Spirit World that encompassed the horizon. As far as she knew, there were only two ways to enter the Spirit World: the first was to meditate until mind and body were separated, but the second way was...
"I'm..." Suki's cheek twitched."...dead...?" she exhaled weakly.
The three Saiyan men stood behind her, silently embracing the all-too-familiar realization along with her.
Her trembling fingers raised up; she stared at them. She watched her fingers clench into fist. She gritted her teeth, shutting her eyes in budding anger."How can this be!?" she finally lashed out, vaulting to her feet."I can't be dead! I'm the Avatar's daughter! I'm the strongest earthbender in the world! I can't just die!"
Goku sighed."Sorry you had to find out this way, Suki..." he walked over to her."Truth is, we're all dead too; me, my bro, and my father."
"I was skewered with a ki laser," Raditz recalled.
"Vaporized," Bardock added.
Suki looked up two Goku."How did you die?"
Goku folded his hands behind his head."Blown right up, but at least I saved my family."
"But how did I die!?" Suki demanded.
"What's the last thing you remember before you got here?" Bardock asked.
Suki looked at the ground."I was... in Ba Sing Se, fighting someone very powerful."
"Sound's like the typical Saiyan way to go," Bardock remarked.
Suki spun around."I'm not a Saiyan, dammit! I already told you!"
"You literally did the thing that only Saiyans are fabled to do!" Raditz shouted.
"What do you mean?" Suki raised a brow.
Goku smiled, and pointed to his head, before trasforming."Super Saiyan. You did it too."
Suki spun around to him in bewilderment."How'd you do that? That's MY power!"
"Yeah," Bardock nodded,"your Saiyan power."
"I AM NOT...!" she popped off again before closing her eyes and holding her head and shaking it."Enough distractions, what I asked was how I died!"
Goku scratched his head."Wasn't it when the Saiyans invaded your planet?"
Suki stared."...what is a 'planet'?
Raditz's head hung back as he groaned."When the Saiyans invaded 'the world'?"
"That was centuries before I was born," Suki replied.
"So you died of old age?" Goku asked.
"Saiyans don't age," Raditz reminded.
"Which is irrelevant concerning me," Suki glared, "who is not a Saiyan."
"Your incessant denial isn't helping, girl," Radtiz crossed his arms.
Suki dashed into Raditz's face, "I'm not a girl either, you porcupine-headed bastard!"
"Hey!" Bardock pushed them apart."Enough fighting, we have-" but he then paused in a moment of self-consciousness,"I can't believe I just said that..." he coughed," we have our own problem to solve, remember?"
"Like what?" Goku asked.
"Like getting the hell out of the Spirit World, you dumbass!" Raditz barked.
"You can't 'leave the Spirit World," Suki replied, "you're dead."
"Told ya!" beamed the mushroom spirit as it popped out of the ground.
Suki screamed like a bi-ahem, like a strong, competent, and entirely respectable woman, and reflexively jumped into Radit's arms."WHAT ARE YOU!?"
"Just the living confirmation that my father has a terrible sense of direction," Raditz rolled his eyes.
"That's me," the fungus smiled and bowed.
"What words of infinite wisdom do you have now, Shroom-Sama?" Goku bowed in respect.
"OK, so bad news first," the spirit began, "You still can't go to the plane of the living, buuuuuut..." he tilted his head (basically his entire body) in Suki's direction,"Thanks to this lady who died in the mortal world, you can leave this plane of the Spirit World!"
"But you just said we can't go back to the living world," said the still-carrying Suki Raditz.
At this, Suki groaned, "They're are other planes of existence besides this world and the living world."
"Care to explain?" Raditz asked.
"Care to put me down?" Suki retorted.
Raditz scoffed."You jumped into my hands!" he said before dropping her to the ground.
Suki pouted as she dusted herself off."As I was saying, Saiyan, the Spirit World has different levels; there's the one we're in now, and then there's the astral plane, which is adjacent to the living world. Within that plane, it can appear as though you're in the living world, and see and hear accordingly. But no living person can see you, and you can only interact with the living world indirectly, mostly through possession of physical objects both living and inanimate."
"Woah!" Goku said in wonder, "So what you mean is, we're gonna turn into...ghoooOOOooooOOOOOooooossst!" he whaled while waving his arms in a ghostly manner.
Suki watched the Saiyan with her arms crossed and her expression flat."Yes, essentially yes..."
"Yeah see, like I said," the mushroom continued, "This lady here died in the living world of the Avatar, which means that they're should be something in that world that connects to her, like her body, or a shrine, or something that has anything to do with her."
"And how are we supposed to find something that connects this woman who's definitely not a Saiyan...!" Raditz mocked, "to the living world when we're stuck here!?"
"Only she can tell you," the spirit replied, "It's her connection," he turned to Suki, "you have to look deep down into your spirit, and light up that connection so it can guide you out of this plane of reality."
Suki sighed."I see..." she nodded. She then lowered herself to the ground with her legs crossed. She closed her eyes."Something...that connects me to the physical world..." she repeated quietly.
Goku rested his fists on his hips."Welp', once find the connection, I could use the Instantaneous Transmission Technique to take us there."
Raditz shook his head."I find it hilarious that 'Instantaneous Transmission Technique' is the only big word you're capable of saying."
The younger brother chuckled."Jokes on you, that's three big words, stupid."
The older brother's lips and fist tightened in frustration."I knew that! You know what I meant!"
"Silence, stupid, I'm meditating," Suki interjected.
"I'll make your ass meditate!" Raditz growled.
"You really gotta stop talkin' about her butt, Raditz," Goku observed.
This instantly snapped Suki out of her concentration and glared back at Raditz.
Raditz noticed this."KAKAROT, WHAT THE HELL!?"
Goku hopped away, his hands raised defensively.
Sokka watched the men of his tribe and the soldiers of his kingdom partying as men should. They shared stories, laughed, arm-wrestled, played Pi Sho, gambled, and competed in drinking contests. But he could hear none of it, just the endless heartstopping ringing in his ears as he watched his long-lost father exchange war stories with the monster that ruined his life.
"So lemme get this straight..." Hakoda asked for confirmation as he took another sip of juice spiced with a hint of cactus juice."You're tellin' me the only reason Vegeta spared your life was because you said that you could hypothetically defeat him if he let you get stronger?"
"I shit you not," the charming monster slowly recited with a nod."He even stopped his own son from killing me."
"I knew the guy had an ego, but that's unbelievable!" Bato stared in astonishment."So then, what, he trained you so you could fight him fairly?"
"Oh yes, I could not have become the perfect warrior without Vegeta's help," Cell answered cryptically, making sure Sokka heard him,"every day for a year, he had me do so many pushups and sit-ups; and he made sure I also had plenty of juice - Why, I was sucking the weight of two human beings into my body," he continued to add double meanings that only Sokka would understand, "When finally, my training was complete: I became perfect. Now was the time to challenge Vegeta."
"And you won, right?" Bato asked.
Cell laughed like the drunk he was pretending to be."Did I win!? He couldn't even hurt me! I sent him flying with the clouds! I elbowed his spine in half! When I was done with him, you'd swore he was dead!"
Sokka was forced to watch his family laugh with Cell, entertained by what they thought was mere exaggeration.
"But that wasn't even the best part..." Cell continued.
"Better than that?" the buzzed Hakoda chuckled.
Cell tapped the counter."I challenged his entire tribe to fight me one at a time in a sort of tournament."
Bato snorted."A tournament with you as the only opponent. What'd you call it, the Cell Games!?"
"I DID!" Cell whaled in delight, pointing at Bato; further laughter ensued.
Sokka covered his face.
"My first challenger was some nobody I sent across the horizon in one swing. But the next one, now he was something else, Son Goku was his name. Our duel was the stuff of legend. We clashed faster than the eye could see! We countered each other's moves flawlessly! it was the greatest day of my life. Or, at least it was, until the unthinkable happened."
"Ya finally lost, huh?" Hakoda asked.
"Even worse than losing..." Cell shook his head."Goku surrenders."
The warriors were astounded.
"What!?" one warrior asked.
"Just like that!?" another said.
"What a coward!" a third mouthed off.
At this point, Sokka couldn't handle listening to this bastardization of true events, so he got up and made for the door while his tribe didn't notice.
"A coward indeed," Cell shrugged, "and just like that, I won."
This statement made Sokka stop short of the door.
"No one else challenged me," Cell claimed, "Not even Vegeta. With that single victory, my title as a perfect being was perfectly solidified for all to see," he said as he arose from his seat and spread his arms wide.
"That's not what Vegeta said..."
Cell and his new company were taken off guard by Sokka's flat denial; they stared at him awkwardly.
Sokka was leaning his elbow against the frame of the bar's entrance, his anxious look replaced by a skeptical one."Vegeta told me that there was one more opponent who challenged you..." he started walking, almost strutting back to Cell, as his soldiers and tribe watched silently in anticipation.
Cell glared."Yes, well, Vegeta says a lot of things to stroke his pride..."
"Now hold on..." Sokka raised his hand." Nobody said it was Vegeta." he shrugged, "Now, okay, sure, I wasn't there, I can only operate on what I was told about it, so correct me wherever I'm wrong, Cell; but, according to Vegeta, Goku didn't surrender because he lost the will to fight, he surrendered because he wanted to give his son a chance to fight you."
This news confused Hakoda. The reminder sent a jolt of anxiety through Cell's innards, causing him to visibly twitch.
The suddenly bold Sokka leaned a little further as he looked Cell dead in the eyes."Now, how old would you say Goku's son was at the time, Cell? Wasn't he, like, around Aang's age? Vegeta said he beat the shit out of you; he said you were left on your knees, calling the kid a monster and begging for mercy."
All of these words caused a long-repressed ire to bubble up from Cell's gut. At this point, Hakoda and the warriors could see his facial features slightly convulse, and his fingers curling into a fist. Hakoda was concerned he'd have to get in between them in case the man in green lost it.
"He even said that you were so badly beaten, Goku begged his son to finish you off...but no," he said, sucking every amount of satisfaction out of this moment, to the point where he tapped Cell's chest "...Gohan wanted you to suffer-"
Cell exploded with rage, his aura knocking the Water Tribe warriors off their seats. He swung a wild punch at Sokka, who, seeing this coming a planet away, spun while grabbing Cell's arm, using Cell's own momentum to fling him across the bar, with Cell crashing into the wall so hard his body was wedged into the cracked impression.
The occupancy of the bar, except for Sokka, was astounded; this even included Cell, who had a not-so-perfect look on his face as he realized he was upside down, all eyes on him.
"Speaking from observation, by which I mean Vegeta," Sokka added, "losing your temper will only make you look stupider."
Cell growled, and flung himself off the wall, landing on his feet. His grinding teeth threatened to shatter to pieces as he stomped toward the offender." You..." he hissed demonically, "You think you can make a joke out of me? ME!? If it weren't for this damn seal, I'd-!"
"Seal?" Sokka feigned ignorance, crossing his arms defiantly."Wherefore this seal of which ye speak? That sounds like some super important secret you should definitely be keeping to yourself right now - never know when there's someone even cooler than you who might be listening..."
This was enough to curb Cell's menacing advance. His eyes and cheeks relaxed, not out of relief, but self-consciousness. He had realized that Sokka was now exploiting his predicament not to fight Cell, but simply to make Cell look bad in public, just like any good politician knew how to. His rage was replaced with an entirely new feeling, the first of it he'd ever felt since his hatching. If he could see his own reflection at that moment, he would see his own red flushed cheeks - Perfect Cell was perfectly embarrassed.
Cell inhaled."F$%# YOU!" he finally let out, flinging his finger at Sokka."F%&$ Vegeta! F#$% King Vegeta! F&$# Prince Vegeta! F%#$ Planet Vegeta! F&$# ALL THE VEGETAS! I don't have to take your shit! I'm Perfect Cell!" he finished his rant as he rushed out of the building before he could lose his temper any further.
The humans waited a good while for Cell to walk well out of earshot...before bursting into laughter.
The hysterical Hakoda wrapped his arm over his son's shoulders."Damn, you got him good, son!" The drunk leader admitted.
" 'Perfect fighter,' my ass!" Bato followed up.
The victorious Sokka felt good beyond description; for a second there, he was living the dream of all the strong men of the village acknowledging him as a real man.
...and then it happened.
"Hail Sokka Khan!" one of Sokka's soldiers exclaimed. In mere seconds, all the northern tribe's soldiers cheered, "Hail Sokka Khan! Hail Sokka Khan!" in unison. The drunkest of Hakoda's warriors cheered the same, completely ignorant of its meaning. Hearing this, Sokka's confidence slowly died away, replaced with the former anxiety of his current condition. The worst part was the looks on Bato's Hakoda's faces, as they shot Sokka a confused look.
"Sokka Khan?" Hakoda vocalized.
Sokka was struck with shame that did not belong to him. Just how much of that was king Vegeta's intention?
"ooooohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." went the Saiyan Suki as she sat, laser-focused on her goal,"ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." she continued to entrance herself with her own voice," oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
Radtiz could not have been more bored. his hand clutched his face, threatening to rip it off."oh GOD! How long is this going to take!?"
The only thing more irritating than watching this sit there woman chant to herself was the fact that Goku and the mushroom were sitting beside her doing the exact same thing.
"ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Goku went.
"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." the shroom had to inhale," oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
Meanwhile, Bardock had used his ki to create hard light constructs of playing cards, sharpening his wit in a little game of Energy Solitaire."Crap, I lost."
"HOW CAN YOU LOSE TO YOURSELF!?" Raditz shrieked, completely beside himself.
"I was beaten by my greatest opponent," Bardock said," no shame in that.
Raditz scoffed, arms crossed."I thought Frieza was your greatest opponent?"
"At least I was killed by someone stronger than me..." the father replied.
Radtitz stiffened up." I was outnumbered!"
"I blazed through a whole army before I made it to Frieza," Bardock added,"while you were undone by a full nelson."
"I-!"
"I got something!" Suki announced, arresting the Saiyans' attention.
"Really!?" Radits said.
Suki bent her head forward, her eyes still closed."I think someone's trying to...talk to me?"
"Somebody's talking to you from the mortal plain!" the mushroom spirit realized.
"Hurry, Kakarot!" Bardock ordered
Bardock and Raditz grabbed Goku's shoulders, while Goku grabbed Suki's shoulder.
"Focus hard, Suki," Goku said, "try to feel their energy."
"I'm trying," Suki replied, scrunching her eyes."I think I feel someone's chi, but I've never felt this person before."
"Who cares!? As long as he's alive!"
At this, Suki raised an eyebrow."Oh, so you just assume before anything else that it's a man?"
"Don't start that shit with me!" Raditz barked.
"Don't distract her, dumbass, she'll lose him!" Bardock yelled.
"Oh, spirits, you just did it too!" grunted Suki.
"Don't worry! I can feel what is totally some Caucasian males's chi!" Goku assured them.
"I SWEAR TO HEI BAI-!"
The three Saiyans vanished, leaving a plume of dust drifting along the ground.
If the mushroom spirit had eyes, he'd be blinking at the awkward realization."...aw man, now I'm alone again..." he lamented... but smiled."Oh well! There's always the next show!"
"Oh, Great Glorious Vetega!" Aunt Wu, exclaimed, her hands in the air."Here our prayers tonight!"
The temple was full of privileged Earth Kingdom nobles, three of whom were Lao and Poppy Beifong, along with Master Yu. The Vegetarians had assembled for a night of reverence to their goddess.
Aunt Wu had no idea how in all of her long life she had not thought to cash in on the religious scene until recently. It was far more lucrative than conning fourteen-year-old girls into thinking they could see the future. Not to mention these particular saps worshipped a woman, giving this old woman an opportunity most cults wouldn't, and allowing her to prop herself up as a priestess who could converse with Vetega herself.
"Our land has been beset upon by vile Firebenders!" Aunt Wu slurred."Ba Sing Se is in ruins! Your servant, the Earth King, has been brutally murdered! I call upon you to give us a sign! Return to us so that you may slay the evils of this world! As it has been, as it is!
"AS IT IS!" the worshipers chanted.
"OH, I can feel her presence!" Aunt Wu shivered, feigning religious hysteria."She whispers to me!"
"What's she saying!?" Lao exclaimed.
"She says..." she pressed her fingers against her temples, simply recycling moves from her fortunetelling,"She says...!" she moaned."...to give me mooooore moneeeeeyyyy!" she shouted, her stage becoming showered with golden coins by the frenzied zealots.
"I didn't hear her say anything..." The ghostly and invisible Goku scratched his ghostly and invisible head.
"It's just some silly cult," Raditz dismissed."That hag is just saying whatever is going to augment her bank account."
"But what's this got to do with you?" Bardock asked Suki.
"How should I know?" The woman deflected, "We just got here."
"Well, these people must be connected to you somehow," Bardock reasoned,"You were drawn here for a reaso-Ohhhhh I see..." he realized, upon turning his head.
The other Saiyans turned to see the statute behind Aunt Wu; it was a solid gold idol (lined with jewels) in the near-perfect likeness of Suki herself.
Raditz gained a confused look." Wait, they're worshipping you!?" he glared at Suki.
Goku gasped dramatically."You didn't tell me you were a god!"
Suki blinked in confusion."Wha...I'm not a god! What is this!?" she yelled, looking over the room full of followers."This can't be Kyoshi Island; I don't recognize anyone here! Where is my mother!?"
"Yes!" Aunt Wu cheered."Your donation pleases the mighty Vetega!"
This name caused Suki to freeze."What did she just call me...?"
"I think she just called you Vegeta," Goku missheard.
"Praise Vetega!" Poppy Beifong yelled.
"no..." Suki's brow sunk, her face gaining anxiety.
"There is no god but Vetega!" another follower yelled.
"Vetega is with us!"
"Who can stand up to Vetega!?"
"Save us, Vetega!"
Each cry of the name rattled Suki's composure more and more. She covered her ears, but could hear their cries anyway."No no no, stop it, that is not my name!"
"What, Vetega?" Goku had to ask.
"SHUT UP!" Suki lashed out at Goku."That's not my name! I'm not a Saiyan!"
"Yeah?" Radtiz scoffed."Well it looks like you've been outvoted," he gestured to the humans."You're a Saiyan, and everyone knows it, Vetega."
"I'm not a Saiyan!" Suki persisted, clenching her eyes."I'M NOT A SAIYAN!"
Just then, the ground began to quake, frightening the worshippers. Lao held Poppy tightly.
The briefly shook Aunt Wu decided to roll with it."Er, Yes, you see! Vetega is with us! She's in this very room right now! Praise the daughter of Vegeta!"
This would have stopped the Saiyan men's hearts if they still had them.
"I KNEW IT!" Bardock gaped.
"SHUT UP! MY NAME IS SUKI! I'M NOT A SAIYAN!" the woman that called herself Suki yelled as loud as she could before she could take no more. She powered up to Super Saiyan, and yelled even louder.
Then, the statue of Vetega glowed the same color.
The enraged Suki blasted upward; the supposed ghost, blew a hole through the ceiling, frightening the whole congregation.
"SUKI, WAIT!" Goku called out to her, his hand raised; he then flew up after her. His brother and Daddy had to follow him without protest.
"What just happened!?" one follower exclaimed.
"Did Vetega just leave?" another inquired.
"OUR GOD HAS ABANDONED US!" cried a third hysterically.
As the people fled the temple altogether, Aunt Wu slapped her face."...Welp, I guess it's back to fortunetelling..."
What goes up must come down. Sokka should have anticipated the part where after he met his dad, he'd have to explain exactly how he became the defacto king of the Northern Water Tribe. At least as he sat on his extravagant steel throne in front of the speechless Hakoda and Bato, Cell wasn't there to make it worse. He tapped the armchair awkwardly."...So yeah, it's been a busy month for me..."
"No shit!" Bato exclaimed.
"Sokka..." Hakoda said, "I...I dunno what to say...you took over the whole tribe?"
"Both tribes technically," Sokka corrected.
"But why!?" Hakoda asked."What happened to the chief?"
"Dead," Sokka responded through tight lips.
"How?"
"Murdered."
"BY WHO!?"
Sokka really hoped that Cell wouldn't come in to answer that question."The guy who killed him is also dead."
Bato scoffed."Oh really? And how do we know he's not still alive and sitting right in front of us!?"
"Bato!" Hakoda rebuked.
"Well, what else do you make of it!?" Bato protested."Arnook dies, and Sokka's in charge? How did that work out, huh? Look at Sokka!" he threw his finger at the teen."He can't even look us in the eye! If he didn't do it, then at least he was part of it!"
"I had no control over what happened!" Said Sokka quite honestly."I don't have control over any of this! I'm just sitting here on a chair that I know doesn't belong to me, and I can't do anything about it!".
"Sokka, you're not making any sense," Hakoda spoke frankly.
Sokka got up, his hands raised."Look, I know you came to see me so I could join you and fight the Fire Nation alongside you and Katara and Aang, but I just can't," he said with a broken voice."It's best if you guys just leave, okay? Just leave and never come back..." he fell back onto the throne.
Hakoda blinked, and shook his head. He walked up the steps to Sokka's throne, and laid his hand on his son's shoulder."I've waited three years to see you again. If you're in danger, I won't rest until you're safe."
Tears fell from Sokka's shut eyes. He held his father's arm warmly."Dad..." his voice cracked from the grief "If I even try to tell you the truth...I'd kill you on the spot," he pushed his petrified father's hand off of him,"You and Katara. So if you really love me, then get the hell out of the North Pole while you still can."
The great warrior's face quivered. His defeated form turned and walked away. Bato threw Sokka a baleful scowl before following Hakoda out of the room.
Sokka's face scrunched." And tell Katara I love her!" he yelled, hoping they heard him.
Goku blazed across the sky; he did his best to catch up to the despondent Super Saiyan. Not even his own Super Saiyan form could close the gap."SUKI! SLOW DOWN, WILL YA!?"
"SHUT UP, SAIYAN, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" Suki cried out as she continued to fly away.
"But you died long before we even met, how could I-!" Goku shook the distracting thought out of his head. He then used Instantaneous Movement to warp into Suki's way. She crashed right into him, but Goku endured the collision and caught her in his arms. "CALM DOWN ALREADY!"
Suki could only reply with a yell and a barrage of wild punches that were easily parried by the more experienced Super Saiyan."I HATE YOU! WHY DID EVEN WAKE ME UP? WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE IN THE FOG OF LOST SOULS WHERE I COULD NEVER REMEMBER ANY OF THIS!? I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN! I DIDN'T ASK TO BE A DEMON'S CHILD!"
Goku grabbed both her wrists and lurched into her face."WELL NEITHER DID I, OKAY!?"
Suki was silenced by this seemingly random outburst.
Goku glared down at the woman with an uncharacteristically sour expression."I was just like you, Suki! I grew up on another planet, thinking I was one of them, when one day, Radtiz had to come in and tell me my real name and where I came from! I didn't wanna believe him! I thought that after he and I died, I'd go to Heaven with Granpa and I'd never have to deal with it ever again! But then more Saiyans came! And I had to come back and fight the prince of all Saiyans! YOUR BROTHER! It was the worst fight I ever went through! Vegeta broke my spine; he almost killed my son! I only ever met three Saiyans, and they were the worst people I ever met! I couldn't believe I was EVER one of them!"
By this point, Raditz and Bardock caught up, and were able to hear Goku's rant with moderate surprise.
Goku simmered down a little, his eyes still trembling."...but I wasn't one of them. I didn't have to be evil just cause they were; I became something that nobody, not even the Saiyans thought was possible."
"Tch," went Radtiz,"Yeah, a Super Saiyan, we know."
Goku shot his brother a glare so venomous, he was silenced immediately. He looked back to Suki."I became a good Saiyan. I took the poison inside me and made it my greatest strength. I train and get stronger, not because I wanna rule the world, it's cause back home, I have something worth fighting for. So do you." Goku gestured to the land below them."Fight for this. Your name's not Vetega - you're Suki, a Saiyan from Planet Avatar."
The female Super Saiyan was totally disarmed by the sincerity of who she thought was her sworn enemy. She couldn't throw another punch at him; instead, she hugged him fiercely, breaking down into a sob.
Bardock looked away. His mind drifted back to his final days alive, how his mind was haunted, taunted even, by the voice of his last victim, who laughed as he continuously bombarded his head with visions of his planet's own destruction. The psychic fish-man told him he would know how it felt to see his own world destroyed. He thought to himself...did Gine die because of him? If he still had a stomach, he'd probably throw up right now. He forced himself to *ahem* loudly, as he floated over to his son and apparent princess. "Yeah, well anyway, we made it outta the Spirit World. We got business to take care of."
"What are we supposed to do with her?" Raditz hissed in his father's ear.
"Maybe after we're done with Frieza, we can help her remember how she died," Bardock said,"I think we owe her that much."
Raditz shot his father a confused look."What the hell happened to you?"
Without even looking at him, Bardock pushed Raditz violently away."I died." He flew over to Goku and Suki." Alright, kids, enough with the drama. Nothing has changed; first, we gotta find your Earth friends; then, we find Frieza, and drag his sorry ass back to hell."
The northernmost region of the North Pole was lit up with explosions, along with an elongated scream that did not belong to Prince Vegeta.
Cell pelted the frozen landscape with volleys of stray ki blasts, not even trying to draw something. He flew across the land, shattering ice structures with punches and kicks. He even fired a Kamehameha at the ground for good measure, creating a massive explosion.
Cell dropped to the ground, panting in exhaustion and staring at the devastation that he created. It didn't even make him feel better, since he knew just how much damage he could really do under normal circumstances. He punched the ground, and blasted off.
Oh, what he would do when this self-inflicted purgatory was over: first, he'd obviously destroy this solar system, Cooler be damned. Then blow up Earth, with zero warning, and watch Son Gohan choke to death in the vacuum of space, assuming he'd survive that explosion. Then, roam the universe, feasting on the strongest beings he could find. Maybe he'd travel to the other universe, and find other strong opponents to fight and kill. Oh, and kill Azula, totally forgot about that loose end...
His wandering eyes caught sight of something a tad anomalous in a frozen wasteland: what that a forest?
Cell decided to kill some more time and investigate. He landed before the mysterious forest in the middle of the North Pole, feeling the nearest tree. It felt pretty warm.
"Huh..." Cell marveled."This is...actually really pleasant..." he said to himself, taking in the inviting warmth...
...
...Before charging another attack...
"Ka-Me-Ha-Me...!" he gathered the blue energy in his hands."HAAA!" he unleashed his attack into the woods, plowing through countless trees, and causing the forest to erupt in a massive flume of fire. He laughed maniacally, the hue of the flame exaggerating his evil presence."Take that, magical trees!"
But unfortunately, Vegeta was not here, for he would have, from past experience, told Cell never to mess with magical trees...
Out of nowhere, a mysterious force caused the air around him to become even colder, blowing into the woods and sucking the fires down into nothing, as if there were no fire at all.
Cell was left agape."What!?"
"Foul abomination..."
Cell was startled by the voice.
"How dare you attack this timeless sanctuary..." The collection of voices echoed and breezed around Cell's head like a living storm of pure malice.
"No way..." muttered Cell flatly."Don't tell me this forest is alive?"
Various lights spawned from the recesses of the forest. The lights formed into all kinds of shapes that vaguely looked like living creatures.
"We are the spirits of the north" the voices spoke "We will not tolerate your destruction. Leave, or be destroyed"
Cell's eyes shifted amongst the apparently angry spirits, donning an awkward expression. This just made him smirk."Hm, now see, your first mistake, my friends, was to challenge me to a fight..." he said before powering up.
The spirits lunged at him like raindrops going sideways; Cell met them in a violent clash that blasted the spirits away. Cell flew across the forest, either dodging or parrying the spirits's charges. Unexpectedly, a giant hulking spirit appears in front of Cell, and bashed its massive fist into his face, sending him crashing through many trees. As soon as Cell used his feet to break his momentum, the giant spirit was already coming for him. Cell flung up his hands to catch the downward swings of the spirit arms, facturing the ice under his feet. Cell gritted his teeth, slowly rising off the ground and lifting the spirit's arms higher, until Cell decided to use Piccolo's mouth blast to blast the spirit in the face, destroying the spirit's upper half.
Cell laughed giddily."Wow! So that's what that looks like!" he joked, before his neck was ensnared by another spirit's tentacle. Cell was dragged across the ground until he finally made it to the rest of the spirit that held him. Cell tried to cock his fist, but his punch was interrupted by another small spirit dashing into his face, followed by many others who pelted his body. The bigger spirit slammed Call against the icy ground and threw him away like a piece of garbage.
Cell stabilized himself in the air."Why you!" he said as he pulled his hand back for another ki blast, right before another spirit came from behind and bit onto Cell's neck, making him scream in pain at the spirit's astral teeth actually drew blood. More spirits follow suit, biting all over Cell, pinning him to the ground, and swarming him like piranhas. Cell screamed loudly, blasting them off of him as he flew into the sky; but a multitude of spirit tentacles wrapped around Cell's limbs, and against his own might, pulled him further down.
As he got closer to the ground, he saw that the number of spirits kept growing and growing, and were all converging at the spot Cell was being dragged to. Horror played on his face as he better understood the peril he was now in."N-No! This can't be happening to me! I'm the one that does the devouring! I can't die like this! You can't do this to m-!" his face was muffled by more tentacles, screaming as the ocean of spirits consumed him.