Notes

this chapter mostly goes into more detail of the situation between Arthur and Gwen with also some cute moments between Merlin and Arthur.

Chapter nine: the secrets of non lovers

Arthur

Arthur couldn't hold in his laughter anymore as he heard Merlin's distance shout about him being a "clotpoll", faintly he just about heard Merlin laughing too and smiled even brighter to himself.

Then Arthur shook his head in an effort to make his thoughts focus on the task at hand, finding Gwen. The first place he had tried was her bedroom, incase she was working on paperwork at her desk, however when he didn't find her there he knew she would likely be in the great hall, preparing the arrangements for the feast designed to congratulate all successful knights.

That is exactly where she was and what she was doing. But now Arthur's found her, the next step is to do is find a way to communicate with her alone. The last thing he wants to do right now is spread chaos and rumours that their dead king is back as a ghost, especially on the day of the tournament.But Merlin was right that the queen of Camelot deserves to know that theirs a ghost of the king roaming her castle.

Arthur decided to sneak in through the backdoors and use the pillars over there to hide behind until Guinevere gets within earshot. As she's moving around the hall systematically, it doesn't take long for her to get near to Arthur.

"Gwen" he whispered but when he got no response he tried again much louder "Gwen"...still nothing. Huh. He decided to wait until Gwen was standing practically next to him before trying again, this time in a low voice rather than a whisper "Guinevere".

Giving up with trying to be subtle Arthur tried standing right in font of her, only to find she walked right through him completely un phased. As a result of this Arthur learned two things, one being for some reason no one else in this current room seems to be able to see him, which is strange as does that mean only Merlin can see him, or that people can only see him in certain rooms maybe? The second thing he learned was that having someone walk through you creates an extremely unusual tingling sensation - far worse than walking through objects and walls.

Since Arthur was now unable to complete his task of taking to Gwen he decided to find Merlin again.

Finding Merlin wasn't too hard as he hadn't gotten very far from where Arthur had left him, when Arthur had caught up to him he was just stepping into the armoury. Arthur had decided not to announce himself straight away and instead just watched his friend as he gathered a blunt sword and started shining it. He had thought that once again Merlin hadn't noticed him, until he noticed the smirk creeping onto the warlocks face.

"so let me get this straight, you died, came back as a ghost and now your just watching me work ? ... and sleep"

Arthur's own pure laugh made himself jump, how did Merlin make him so naturally happy?

"wow Merlin, thanks for making that sound creepy, I was actually mostly watching out the window while you slept, thank you very much." Merlin's little giggle at this only made Arthur's fond smile grow even wider.

"'Mostly?'" Merlin teased afterwards, giggling even more at Arthur's dramatic eye roll. But then adds " I actually think it's very sweet Arthur, I'm just not used to having someone properly watch over me like you've been doing. so thank you. How did it go with Gwen ?"

Arthur already knew that what Merlin had said was true, that's why he's decided to watch over Merlin as much as he has been (which is even more effective now Merlin can actually see him), but it still hurts a little to hear Merlin say it himself, like he knows Merlin knows he's loved by a lot of people, but although he's the first to take care of everyone else he's not so good at letting others take care of him, which makes sense when you think of how isolating the magic secret must have been for him.

"well I'm pretty sure the only reason you've let me so far is because you physically can't do or say anything to stop me. As for Gwen, she couldn't see me, I passed Leon in the hallway on the way back to you, and he couldn't see me either. So far it's only you." Although the first half of this was said with nothing but protectiveness, the second part was definitely said with some sadness- no matter how hard he tried to conceal it.

"oh, Arthur I'm so sorry, it must be hard to see the person you love grieving and yet not be able to help, not to mention I bet you miss talking to her too" Merlin's voice had become gentler now too.

"yes it was" Arthur said instinctively responding to the first part, remembering back to all those times he saw Merlin hurting and not being able to help, which reminds him, Merlin hasn't eaten today yet has he ? Arthur will be addressing that in just a moment, but first he felt like there was something else he should tell Merlin about now too. "Merlin, me and Gwen aren't together like that, we haven't been for a long time".

At this, Merlin was understandably very confused. "But you're Married?, you told me about how you 'think about her all the time' and 'care about her more than anyone', I'm sure if you had some sort of fight you could forgive each other, I'll find a way to let you talk to her, then I'm sure things will be ok between you again" hearing Merlin say this made Arthur's heart twist for multiple reasons. Because those two exact phrases Merlin happened to be referencing was actually Arthur talking about Merlin , not Gwen, he had just switched Gwen's name into it so he could rant to his friend without the risk of ruining things between them. And two because Merlin is trying so hard to help push Arthur and Gwen together which somehow simultaneously breaks his heart and makes him love him even more.

"thank you Merlin, but that won't fix things between me and Gwen as there was no fight, no argument to fix. I had feelings for her once, and did truly think I was in love with her, and she felt the same about me... but then we tried to date and found we worked better as close friends than actual lovers. As time went on we eventually figured out that what we had both mistaken for love was really a dear friendship. But our real true loves, we had mistaken for the strongest of friendships. However this we had sadly figured out to late, for Gwen's true love had passed away, and mine could never reciprocate my feelings. Therefore with Morgana proving to be a true threat, the kingdom needed a new safe air it could trust to keep it safe. So me and Gwen talked- as friends- and she agreed to 'marry me' to be able to take my place in protecting this kingdom, incase ... I , didn't make it. So although in the eyes of the people we were together, behind closed doors we were only friends- hence why she kept her own bedroom, and the night following the wedding I slept on the floor and she took the bed."

Merlin

Merlin sat there in silence for a while, trying to process this new chunk of information he's been given , there was, after-all a lot to take in there.

"why didn't you tell me? Before you became a ghost I mean..." Merlin knew he had no right to ask this, not after lying to Arthur about his magic for so long. But it was the thought he couldn't shake.

Arthur thought about this question for a little bit, and the truth is it has a few different answers to it, but only one he was willing to tell Merlin about right now. "As you know Secrets form a divide between you and everyone around you, I was lucky enough to have someone to share the secret with, just like you had Gaius (although not quite like you and Gaius as although you could talk to him, he didn't share having magic too, well not in the same way); where as for me Gwen did have the same secret to share and hide, but even then it was still a lot, still lonely knowing I was keeping something from everyone around, and I knew telling you would have only meant you had to as well . That didn't feel fair."

Merlin couldn't fault Arthur's logic there, having a secret is isolating, " I guess we both had our secrets then"

"yeah, I guess we did, and for now it looks like we're sharing another one together, or at least I assume you don't plan to go around telling everyone that you can see the previous king of Camelot and yet no one else can " Merlin could tell Arthur was trying to kinda lighten the mood between them again, without fully breaking the serious heartfelt moment they just shared between them. Honestly Merlin was all for lightening the room again.

"uh huh, and who exactly are you planning to be keeping this secret from, Arthur pendragon, is there some other ghost friends you've been talking to that I don't know about?" Merlin let his voice portray as much playful banter energy he could master.

"hmm maybe there is, maybe I have little ghost friends watching over you too, and they've told me you haven't eaten anything yet today... and your extremely slacking on polishing that armour and equipment there."

At this Merlin laughed again, not as big and pure as earlier, but still a happy sound nun the less.

"so by 'little ghost friends' your referring to yourself ?"

Arthur scrunched up his face at this, realising he did dig himself into that one, which gained even more, purer laughter from Merlin followed by a light laugh from Arthur too. "go get some food Merlin"

The mischievous look from earlier was back again as Merlin responded with " but Arthur your 'little friends' said I'm taking too long to do this" Merlin replied while doing his best impression of Arthur's voice and gesturing to the equipment.

"Firstly, I don't sound like that. Secondly go get some food Merlin the nobles will be here in 1 and a half hours and a fainting servant won't look good on Camelot." Arthur was trying to use his best 'stern king voice' again.

"fine" Merlin said with a smirk, then looked Arthur dead in the eyes while using his magic to quickly finish the armour and equipment that's behind him. His smirk only grew at Arthur's dumbfound expression. "there, now I'll eat"

While Merlin was mid way through reaching for the door Arthur, apparently finding some words, spoke again.

"your eyes ... glow " Merlin froze at this statement, Arthur knew sorcerer's eyes glowed when they did magic so he wasn't so sure why he was surprised Merlin's did too.

"I know it's normal for magic users, but It seems different when yours do it... kinda Angelic in a way, not to mention they leave a sparkle in your blue eyes making them stand out more too." As Arthur spoke his words were so genuine, there was no sign of teasing or sarcasm or banter, it didn't even really sound like Arthur had planned to say what he did, but Merlin could feel the truth coming from the words spoken.

That ... was certainly not what Merlin had been expecting Arthur to say. As quickly as he could get his thoughts together to do so, Merlin continued the motion of opening the door and leaving, ducking his head in hopes Arthur hadn't noticed the pink that Merlin could feel sprinkling in his cheeks.

(Arthur had certainly seen it)

Notes

hi, I hope your enjoying this story so far. The chapters are hopefully going to continue to be more fluffy and fun for a little bit, although even some fluffy chapters may have some hurt or seriousness in them. But I'm hoping to try and give it all a good balance between fluff, fun and serious things.

please let me know what you think, all feedback would be greatly appreciated.

also just as a warning this chapter was once again written late at night going into the AM's ( early morning)