Chapter 27: I need you.

Aiza had completely forgotten that she had just been in the hospital wing for an injury which she almost certainly exacerbated. She yelped in pain and clutched her stomach, lowering to the floor as Remus disappeared down the corridor.

Out of sight.

She had lost him.

"Aiza, are you okay? Are you okay?"

Remus had come back for her, perhaps hearing her yelp, and he hurried towards her, no trace of anger on his face, pure concern. He held her, taking her whole weight onto himself, and once his hands touched hers she felt lighter than she had in days.

He held her securely, lifting her up bridal style with such ease, his lips to her hair. Aiza didn't know how she had any energy to feel anything but crippling fear at what Garrick just told her, but her body flooded with warmth, and Aiza knew in this very moment, she would never meet anybody as good and kind as Remus Lupin.

A boy who had showed up to the hospital wing with his girlfriend's favourite flowers, only to find her in a secluded broom cupboard with her ex-boyfriend, and yet still had the kindness to put his justified anger aside and concentrate on this instead.

Their love.

Remus had stopped walking, and Aiza felt soft cushion at her back as he lay her down. He had conjured pillows for her comfort, and they were in an empty classroom.

"Should I take you back to the Wing?"

"No. No." Aiza shook her head, she knew that it was probably wise to do just that, but right now she didn't need wisdom. She needed him. "Sorry. I'm okay."

Remus didn't look convinced, but didn't push her on it.

"Sirius told me what happened." Aiza expected that, but she'd hoped he hadn't given too many details. Considering the fact he showed up with flowers, Sirius must have left out Garrick, though Aiza only just realised that Sirius showed up well after she entered the room with Garrick, so he didn't know that she was meeting him there…she had panicked for no good reason.

"Aiza, please can you tell me what is going on." She took in his eyes, dark in the dimly lit classroom. It just occurred to her that whilst Remus was good, he wasn't a saint, and he shouldn't have to be. She should give him an explanation.

He let out a breath, something she knew he did when he was trying to be patient, and her eyes found his lips at the action, and she had the mad urge to kiss him.

So she did.

He was startled at first, but quickly returned it with fervour. She didn't want to feel anything but him, she didn't want to think. The pain in her abdomen disappeared, and all she could feel was his lips rough at her own, his tongue, sweet and probing, his hands in her hair, gripping her to him desperately.

She slid her hand down from his chest to his trousers and he let out a gasp.

"Aiza!"

"I need you." She gasped out, they had never made love. He had worshipped her body from crown to calf but she had never felt him inside her. She was no virgin, and she knew that he was, and she knew that worried him, but it shouldn't. Godric it shouldn't because nobody loved her the way Remus did, he had licked wounds healed that he never created. He had caressed away her pain with trembling fingers. He had made her feel adored with probing glances that saw all of her.

He pulled away, only enough to break their kiss and look her in the eye. She couldn't speak, her lips trembled but her eyes seemed to say everything he needed to hear.

And in a way he had never done so before, he descended onto her again, tearing open her blouse almost animalistically, the buttons popping across the floor and she did the same, pulling his shirt from his trousers, lips and limbs breaking apart only to disrobe.

She didn't care that they were on a classroom floor, she only cared that she wanted him to have all of her, and she wanted to have all of him.

And so she did.

So much of their physical intimacy was languid and loving, but there was a desperation in her need for him now that he seemed to sense, and perhaps it was just that.

She was utterly desperate for him, and he met her stroke for stroke, his hands, usually cautiously seeking permission, were steady and stable and Aiza, usually soft moans that crept only into his ears, was releasing unheard sounds from the deepest parts of her soul, and she was positive if she hadn't kept her lips to his skin as if she needed it to live, the whole school would have heard her.

When he entered her she felt him throughout her body, in areas that she didn't think she could feel arousal. He was decisive in his movement and it was easy because she was so ready for him, but then he stayed very still, their breathing synchronous and loud, and he grasped her cheek so gently, and he looked deep into her eyes. And in that moment Aiza knew she would never feel like this again, nobody would ever make her feel this complete, this loved, this safe. She nodded, Remus not asking a word, but she knew, somehow, he was making sure that she was okay, that this was okay.

Aiza knew how hard that level of control must be, she had been with a virgin once before, and he had lasted not a minute, but Remus was selfless in love as he was selfless in life, and she felt his hands shake, his jaw clench, his muscles tense. She wanted to tell him it was okay, that it didn't have to be perfect, that in fact, just it being him was perfect enough. First times were meant to be fast and awkward and she didn't care.

She let out a surprised gasp, as he began to move, and she watched as his eyes narrowed and he bit his lip, taking her face in as he shifted atop her. He was noticing her pleasure, which she always wore easily on her face, and adjusting for it with his movements.

Neither of them lasted long, and Aiza wondered whether the emotional day had been an aphrodisiac, her hormones heightened, so close to the edge in everything. Or perhaps - this is just what it felt like to make love with somebody, rather than be claimed, or used.

A small smile crept on her lips as she thought that she may have had sex before, but this was her first time making love, and how perfect that it was with Remus.

Their breathing grew quieter but their hearts were still thunderous. Remus' head was in the crook of her neck, and she didn't want him to move, she wanted him to stay like this forever, as absurd as it sounded. She kissed his neck, enjoying the taste of him. She let her eyes roam down his naked back. She never understood why, but he would sometimes be very comfortable with his body, and other times be very shy. She had always found him ridiculously attractive. Everyone had eyes for Sirius and James, the former she thought too pretty and the latter she had a crush on before Hogwarts but that had little to do with his looks. Remus she liked right from the start, almost the way James fancied Lily, she just wasn't stupid about it like he was. She remembered the first day of fifth year, where he seemed to grow a foot over the holidays, his shoulders broadened to accommodate the height. She had spent all of the Welcoming Feast finding excuses to talk to him, and was actually jealous of Lily being made prefect when she and Remus were tasked with walking the first years to the common room. That night was the first time in her life that she had touched herself, fuelled by fantasies of him.

"What happened?" She gasped, jolting to the present as she just noticed a large scar across his back that the incoming lunar light just threw into clarity. It hadn't been there a few nights ago, before he had left to go see his mother. It seemed to be almost healed, and she touched the scar gently, frowning, where on earth would he get something like that from?

Remus crawled off her, his back now to the wall. Aiza glanced at the door, only just remembering their situation, but it was closed, and she trusted that he had locked it, and that he had cast the relevant charms for silence…they were not far from the entrance to the Headmaster's office afterall…it just occurred to her that there were some other charms they ought to have cast, but seeing as he took the care to ensure their privacy, she's sure that he would have done those as well.

An odd thought crept into her mind that surprised her - perhaps it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to have Remus' baby? Yes they were young, and Aiza never thought much about children, but Remus would be the best father in the world. How could she not want that?

"Aiza, I need to tell you something. I wanted to tell you this…before…before we…" She sat up, suddenly remembering the scar on his back and a dread flowed down her own.

"Are you okay?" She hastened to him, guilty that she had become distracted by unimportant thoughts as a pained look fell across his face, and she immediately kissed his cheek, "Oh Godric, is it your mother, Remus I didn't even ask -"

"No. No." He shook his head, "My mother is fine, she has always been fine."

Aiza looked at him confused, "What?"

"Aiza." When he said her name like that, it sounded like every pet name rolled into one. Remus never called her darling, or love, or anything generic - he just called her by her name, dripping in sweetness. She laid her head on his shoulder, wanting to be close to him. "I am a werewolf."

Aiza had heard what he said clearly, but her brain, which felt like mush right now, did not seem to work. Remus made to stand and she grabbed him, "No."

He turned to her, and his face was wet with tears, "Oh." She grabbed him, pulling him into a hug, wanting to make him stop crying, she truly hated seeing him in such pain. Where Garrick's tears made her uncomfortable, Remus' triggered a part deep inside her that wanted to console him in anyway possible.

Aiza was surprised that she really didn't care about his declaration. She didn't care that he lied to her, she didn't care that it had taken him months to share this with her, she didn't care that he turned into a wolf at the full moon.

An hour ago she had learned that the only thing stopping an evil Dark Lord from killing her was her psychotic ex-lover.

And just like that, Aiza remembered everything.

Things she was refusing to acknowledge, choosing to get lost in Remus, but suddenly this afternoon, the duel, Garrick in the broom cupboard.

Malfoy.

They all crashed into her.

Her arms fell away from his shoulders, and she suddenly couldn't breathe.

Remus turned to her, looking horror struck, and she didn't understand why he had jumped to his feet at the sight of her. She struggled to control her breathing, she felt as if she were having a heart attack and tears sprung to her eyes.

"It's just sunk in, hasn't it."

She clutched herself, suddenly very aware that she was stark naked and she was on the floor of a classroom, but her body didn't stop shaking, crying and refused to let air through.

She tried to say his name, but she couldn't. She didn't understand why he wasn't helping her calm down, she was lightheaded with panic.

"What was I thinking, what was I thinking." He began to dress and Aiza slowly got to her feet with a concerted effort.

She didn't understand what was going on.

"I…I…am so sorry. I am sorry. I should have said before. I should said before."

Aiza was barely keeping herself together, she didn't know how she could keep him together as well. She kept trying to say his name but her mouth was too busy trying to breathe. Suddenly she felt warmth, Remus had charmed her clothes back on.

"I am so sorry."

And then he ran, and she made to go after him but she couldn't. She'd taken a few shaky steps and then flashes of the afternoon breezed through her mind. She faltered, and then fell.

There was nobody to catch her this time.

A/N: Yeah I didn't love writing that. Let me know what you think!

Kalina