Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell belongs to J.K Rowling

Chapter 32: The Shrinking Pedestal

The atmosphere in the Sabre's living room couldn't be more different than what it was two hours ago. The adrenaline of the night had sobered up the boys better than any potion.

The four teenagers stood about the room in complete silence. James had just noticed that Padfoot's hand was still around Jude's wrists, and an odd feeling passed over him, one that he never felt towards his best friend.

He would very much like Sirius to stop holding his…Jude.

"What happened?"

James heart skipped ten beats, his eyes growing large… that was a feminine voice! He watched as Jude touched her lips, almost surprised at the sound itself. Wait…earlier on, he thought he had imagined it, just before she hugged him, he heard a girl scream his name…

"The therapy worked!" He exclaimed, excited, "Oh Godric, Jude!" He rushed forward, momentarily forgetting his stress at the absence of his parents and the Sabres, and pulling the girl into another embrace.

He caught a confused look from Remus, and an almost angry look from Sirius.

"I guess so - we thought it hadn't. I don't really know what happened." Her face took on a confused expression, as if not fully registering the voice as her own, "We left Normandy not making any progress, even though Gabrielle had been so hopeful. Alex had received a warning that something was happening at a place called Le Arc on our drive back. He said he was going to check on it after he dropped Dorea and I off, but then suddenly, I had this…" She grabbed her tummy, "Horrible feeling you were in danger."

This had not been the first time the two of them have had almost clairvoyant senses about each other. James had seen Jude get attacked with the gender changing potion earlier in the year, just as she had easily tracked him down during the fire at their manor over Christmas, despite not even being downstairs when it broke out.

"How did you know we were at the Arc?" They both turned, looking at Remus who spoke.

Jude shrugged, "I don't know. I just felt that I needed to be with you. And then I disapparated, and there I was." Her large dark eyes looked up at James, in much the same way James knew he looked at his dad, and his heart seemed to tear and swell, all at the same time.

Sirius had walked to the window, his back facing them, clearly angry.

"Do you remember anything? Anything at all about your past?" James asked, his eyes still on his best friend. He immediately regretted asking the question, as her face fell and she shook her head in the negative. "Hey." He fixed his attention on her, "This is still magnificent progress. Mum's going to be beside herself with happiness. And dad. And I am too." Her face lost its sadness, and he was glad for it. "Jude, do you mind giving us a few minutes."

She nodded quickly in compliance, glancing around the apartment, immediately wanting to give James want he wanted, "Actually, you wait in here. Warm up by the fire, we'll step outside for a few minutes. Please call me once they get back, okay?"

The girl nodded, her shiny brunette locks falling forward at the motion, and James noticed it looked fuller than they ever had before. Actually, her face looked fuller too, she looked much healthier, her skin almost glowed. Whatever Gabrielle Sabre had done clearly worked well.

He led the way outside, to the Sabre's large balcony terrace. He walked all the way to the end, not wanting to be overhead. Padfoot broodily walked behind, and Moony had a look more of concern than anything else.

James let out a sigh, his back to his friends, he had put off this conversation as long as he could. "My father found Jude in France, about four years ago. He had received a distress signal, and when he showed up, she was there, apparently unharmed, but with amnesia, and the inability to speak. They had the best healers probe into her mind, but they couldn't reclaim her memories."

"Four years ago?" Remus asked quietly, Padfoot had been staring off into the Parisian skyline.

"I only found out about her at the start of summer." James assured his friends, hopeful that 9 months of lying was more forgivable than almost four years of it. "She had been staying at a sort of institute that was helping with her health."

"I thought you said she was unharmed?"

"They initially thought that, but there seemed to be evidence that she was neglected. My dad said something about her potentially being held captive…they don't really have any proper leads. It's why they have kept it quiet, thought it better to have her in that institute in Switzerland, but she just wasn't making any progress, and then, they decided to officially adopt her. That's when they told me about her."

"Adopt her? So what, she's your sister?" Sirius' voice had an unfamiliar texture to it, and James took a deep breath. He knew Padfoot especially would take this badly, he took a lot of pride in the fact that they confided everything to each other…but Sirius was one of the main reasons this was difficult for James to speak about.

"Prongs?" Padfoot's scowl dropped and he rushed forward, and James just registered the wetness on his face, and he wiped his tears quickly away, embarrassed, glancing at the glass doors to the living room, ensuring Jude couldn't see him.

"I'm…I'm so sorry."

"I'm…I'm so sorry." James stilled on the staircase. He was sneaking back to his room, clad safely in his invisibility cloak. His mother had forbidden him from flying past ten, even though it was a lovely summer night.

"Charlus, my heart." James wouldn't usually eavesdrop on his parents, especially if they were using their pet names…but he was positive that he had heard his father crying?

Against his better judgement he moved closer to their bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, and he peeped in.

His mother sat at her vanity in her night dress, his father however was still in his work clothes…but he was kneeling on the floor in front of his mother's feet, his head in her lap. His mother ran comforting fingers through his father's hair, much like she would do to James when he was sick.

'It's been seventeen years, and I've long since forgiven you, it's time you forgive yourself. Anyway…if I recall correctly, that all must have done a world of good for us. It must have been that very night we reconciled that we made our James."

Reconciled? Made our James?

"Dorea, you've had my heart since I was a boy. It shouldn't matter what was said. I should never have done what I did." James couldn't make out his father's next words as they were muffled by his mother's lap.

"It matters not. Charlus, please, stop." His mother made his father look up at her, "It hurts me to see you punishing yourself like this. I've made my feelings on the matter as clear as veritaserum."

"I can't imagine how you'll be okay with it? She's her daughter. Her blood. I…we can keep her at the institute. I would never ask this of you, to take her in. To raise her as your own."

"And you've never asked it of me, Charlus. I want this. I want Jude, I want to raise her, be a mother to her, like her own cannot be. Not through any fault of her own."

Charlus let out a snarl, "Your empathy for that woman -"

"That woman happened to be one of my oldest and dearest friends."

Charlus rose to his feet, "After all her unkindness, her jealousy, her…I've told you, it was not I that went to her that night. Not that I am not owning up to my part in the infidelity, but-"

Infidelity!

"It matters not. Charlus, my heart, what do you want. Do you want us to send Jude back to Switzerland? Do you not want her in the house? James and her have been getting on so well."

"Of course I don't want to send her back…I just…she looks just like her. And…how could I let my wife, the woman that I love, how can I let you do this? Raise the child that wears the face of a woman-"

"I won't have anymore insults to my best friend, especially when she is no longer here to defend herself." Dorea said sharply, and James knew that was a voice not to be disobeyed. His mother was honey that could harden in a moment if she liked. "My heart." James watched as his father hung his head, his mother looking up at him, "I wanted a daughter for such a long time, and you brought me one. One who wears the face of a woman I loved very much. I don't care how she came to by mine now, I just know that she is. And I already love her like she is my own. You think me a saint for wanting Jude…far from it. I want her for the most selfish reasons, I do not do it for you, or for her or her mother, just for me. I wanted to bring that girl home with me since the moment I laid eyes on her."

"I did too." Charlus choked out, "I know I shouldn't have, it's wrong…I know."

"You wouldn't be my Charlus if you didn't. It is not wrong to want to know Jude."

"James." James stilled, did his father somehow notice him, "We ought to tell him."

Dorea shook her head, "I don't think it's necessary. He wouldn't understand."

"He should know what kind of man his father is." Charlus muttered, disappointed.

"And he does. A brave, strong, loving, kind, handsome, good kisser." His mother laughed as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed her husband and James quickly stepped back, knowing enough to know that he should leave his parents to their privacy now.

Padfoot wiped the tears off James' cheeks whilst Remus had a comforting hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to apologise James, this is family business. You don't need to tell us."

James looked at Moony, then Padfoot, "Of course I do. Because it's family business." He looked to his best friends, who were more brothers to him, and his words sunk in, and both boys held such emotion on their faces.

"Jude's my father's daughter. His love child." The boys didn't react, and James didn't know why he thought now was the right time to say it. "I thought it was just random, why he was sent the distress call all the way from France. But he lied, or omitted the fact, that it wasn't random. He knew her mother, well." James couldn't help the bitterness in his voice, even though he was concerned about his father right now, he had spent such a long time being furious at him.

James may look up to his father, but he adored his mother, and was fiercely protective of her. She was the kindest person he had ever met, and had the unique ability to bring comfort to almost perfect strangers with her compassion and warmth. It was beyond him how his father, who was meant to be noble and good, could ever be unfaithful to her.

"Are you sure?" Remus glanced to the doors, but they could see Jude from here, curled up on the sofa near the fireplace, a book in her hands.

"I overheard my parents talking a few weeks after they brought Jude home. My father admitted to his infidelity seventeen years ago, my mother said she had forgiven him, but he cheated on her. On mum." James looked at Padfoot, knowing that this would affect him almost as much as it did him. James loved how much his best friend adored his dad, was proud of it. And he knew telling Padfoot the truth would make it all painfully real.

His dad was just like every crappy pureblood husband, who lies to their wives, and cheats on them.

"There must be a reason." Sirius whispered, and James could see Charlus Potter's pedestal shrinking in his friend's eyes.

"It was with my mother's best friend Her best friend."

James knew this would make it worse, because it was worse. He couldn't imagine how painful it would be to not only be cheated on, but if it was with Padfoot, Prongs or Wormy.

Their betrayal would be worst than the infidelity itself.

"James, if your mother has forgiven your father, moved on. You should too." Remus coaxed, "Surely it does nobody any good to hold on to the past."

"It's not the past though, is it. Jude's very much here, in the present."

"But I saw the way your mother reacted to her earlier, she clearly loves her." Remus pushed, ever the voice of empathy and reason. "And, well, you do too? You're clearly close - why did you keep that a secret?"

"My father thinks that Jude is in danger, since we don't know about her past, and he thinks that she might have been kidnapped, or something. I think he knows more, and he isn't telling me because he doesn't want me to know about his relationship with this other woman. Either way, nobody can know she's staying with us for her safety. It's why I'm dating Carmichael, or at least pretending to date her."

"What?" Padfoot croaked.

"She saw me with Jude, before our match against Ravenclaw last term. I don't know what she thinks is going on between us, but she promised to not tell anybody about it if I said we're dating."

"She's sick." But Sirius smiled, "I knew you had better taste than that. I knew it!"

"As important our affirmation of James' superior taste in women is," Remus added, "What happens if people find out that you and Jude are related?"

"Well nobody knows we're related except my parents, but my dad said it's best to not drag attention to her so not even disclose that they've adopted her. He didn't even want her to come to Hogwarts, but my mum and Jude pushed for it. Maybe he thinks whoever had her before will realise where she is - come after her? They've already tried once before actually, Jude was at St Mungo's during Winter Break and someone had got into her room."

"And there's the start of the year when she was attacked with that potion, and then at the end of term by…by the Slytherins'." Sirius added, a guilty tone seeping into his words. "What does Mr Potter think about it?"

James looked down, ashamed, "I haven't told him, Jude doesn't want me to. She thinks it's just bullying, and she doesn't want my father to pull her out of school."

"Wait, so she's been speaking to you this whole time?" Padfoot asked, with a slightly wounded tone.

"Yeah, but just by text. We have an enchanted parchment we communicate with, but that's only since Christmas. Today's the first day I've ever heard her speak though, she's never spoken before." James thought back to how lovely it sounded to have her calling out to him, and how much it meant to him that she cared so much for him that knowing he was safe from danger had inspired her very first words. He glanced to the French doors, did it matter how she was his sister, surely it only mattered that she was his sister.

His sister.

Jude was his sister.

He finally admitted it to himself.

Padfoot had been observing James' expression, he looked like he wanted to say something, but was choosing not to.

"I know you're angry I kept this all a secret. I promise it doesn't have to do with trust. I just…I didn't want you guys to feel the way I do about my dad now."

"Prongs, your dad is still worth ten of my own. So, he fucked up. We fucked up today, snuck out, disobeyed his request to stay home. He still showed up, ran in a crumbling building to save our arses. I don't know about you, but the only thing I feel for Charlus Potter is…well, good things."

"Ah, well, I feel good things for you too Sirius." James snapped around, and there stood his dad.

James didn't comprehend crossing the terrace, but suddenly he was pulling his dad into a tight hug, all the anger at reliving his betrayal quickly forgotten at the relief that his father had made it home safely.

James may be very experienced with anxiously waiting around for his dad to get home, but he never got used to it. He watched over his father's shoulder as his mother tucked a blanket around Jude, who had fallen asleep on the couch.

James felt his father hold him, and then he felt a wetness at his neck, and then he recognised the deep breaths.

Charlus Potter was weeping in his son's arms.

James watched as his mother turned away from Jude, her soft brown eyes falling on them, tears staining her face.

He watched as Moony and Padfoot exchanged scared glances.

Suddenly he heard a sound like a wounded animal coming from upstairs, and James knew immediately what had happened.

One of the Sabres did not come home safely.

He clutched his father tighter if possible.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Hopefully it now makes sense why James was putting off telling his friends about Jude - he knew he could never tell them half-truths and needed to be honest with them, and it was difficult for him to face the facts that his father isn't this perfect human being. It also hopefully explains his earlier feelings towards Jude, at the time she just felt a constant reminder that his dad had done this horrible thing to their family.

Let me know what you think of this chapter, and the story so far !

Have a lovely day,

Kalina