Notes: Slight trigger warning for mentions of drinking.

Chapter 9

Three Sheets To The Wind

Another day of work was over. Another day of boredom. Another day of monsters. Another day…she had lost count of how many.

Amber languidly walked home once again, if the space under a waterfall could be called home. It felt like night had fallen, but in a cave under a mountain there was no day or night. Still, the lights in the houses were starting to turn off, and the porch lights were starting to dim. It sure felt like nighttime, even if there was no reason why it should be.

She passed by the shop, which was now closed, and Snowed Inn, which was still open. As she approached Grillby's however, a familiar monster stood by the door and waved her over.

"Hey," Sans greeted her with a placid smile, "How's your first week on the job been?"

"Boring, mostly," Amber admitted, "But I'm grateful to have work to do, if it can be called work. I don't know how long it'll take to save up for a place to stay, but at least now I can start. What are you doing out here?"

"Eh, just watchin' the world go by," Sans replied casually, "Thinkin' about goin' inside for a bite. Wanna join me? I could use the company."

"Sure. Thanks," Amber replied, her smile unseen behind her sheet.

In truth Amber was quite hungry. She used a little bit of her money to buy some instant noodles, but eating a quarter packet of dried pasta at a time wasn't very satisfying. The thought of a hot meal in a warm building was too enticing to resist, and Sans was a comfortingly familiar presence in this place she was only starting to get used to.

Sans led Amber to the bar, which seemed to be his favorite spot to sit, and ordered two #4 combos. Amber didn't even know what that was, and felt it was a little presumptuous for Sans to order for her, but she didn't feel like she was in a position to complain.

"So, did you ever talk to Flowey?" Sans asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, he's a real psycho," Amber rolled her eyes, "He doesn't like me. Can't say I tried too hard to change his mind. I would try again, but the thing is, I think he's crazy."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Sans dismissed, "Just because Papyrus is iris-istably drawn to that flower doesn't mean you and him were going to be best buds."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out," Amber replied contritely, "I really did want to help you out with…whatever it was you wanted. I don't really know why you care so much about your brother's friends."

"Because siblings look out for each other," Sans told her, "I just want Papyrus to be safe and achieve his dreams."

"Like that royal guard stuff," Amber noted.

"Not only," Sans said, looking down at the bar to avoid looking at her, "Papyrus's real dream is to be popular. He wants to have lots of friends. He dreams of hosting parties for dozens of monsters, and everyone seeing just how cool he really is. I want that for him. He deserves all the friends in the world. He's a good brother, and he deserves to have his dreams come true."

Before Amber could reply, a bartender completely engulfed in fire showed up. Amber shirked back a little when she saw him, but was proud of herself for avoiding screaming this time. The bartender set down two platters, each containing a burger, an order of tater tots, and a bottle of something called "Adult Soda".

"Is this booze?" Amber asked immediately.

"Yep. The best in the underground," Sans declared as he flicked off the bottle cap with his bony thumb.

"I don't drink," Amber informed him.

"You do now," Sans smiled wider, "Come on, it's just one. It'll warm you up in this cold weather. Besides, I thought ghosts loved boos. Heh heh heh."

Amber bit her lip and turned back to her food. Was this a required cutscene from the game or something? She knew this wasn't her world, and therefore didn't come with the same dangers drinking back home would have, but she was still apprehensive. Her parents lost so much to their drinking habit, and she never touched liquor because she was so afraid of ending up just like them.

Still, this was just Undertale. It was a game for children. Nothing dangerous was going to happen here, right? Besides, Sans was her friend. If he wanted to hurt her, he wouldn't do it this way. Characters in this game used a battle system, one that Amber had already seen. No, she was safe here.

She turned away and grabbed the burger. She put it under her sheet so she could eat it. Yeah, she really needed to remember to cut out a hole for her mouth. Then she waited for Sans's attention to be diverted for a moment before she likewise grabbed the Adult Soda and held it under her sheet. As she twisted the cap, she realized it smelled like nothing. It also tasted like nothing. Maybe this wasn't alcohol after all. Maybe she really was overthinking this.

"Wow, you eat fast. I'm impressed," Sans said approvingly, "So, since we're friends now, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Knowing you, you're probably going to ask me to move furniture or lend you money," Amber groused.

"No, I was going to ask if you were going to eat those popato tots."

"Oh, sure you can have- Wait, did you say popato?" Amber suddenly asked.

Sans didn't reply, but just grabbed a handful of her tots and scarfed them down in a flash. Like her, it was hard to tell how he ate without opening his mouth. Amber just shook her head and took another swig of her soda. She was starting to feel really good, and her HP had maxed out a while ago. She was so glad to have friends in this crazy universe…even if one of them was subsequently super helpful and also a mooch.

IRL

Two weeks. Two weeks since Amber had disappeared.

James screenshotted the messages from the guy he dubbed in his mind "The Sans Killer". He tried showing them to the police, but they informed him that game footage wasn't evidence, given that he could've faked those messages himself. He feared becoming the main suspect in the case, so he backed off on the official front, but James wasn't willing to lie down and do nothing.

His next call was to Amber's best friend Vanessa. He didn't know her very well, but Amber did, and that was all that mattered. If anyone would know Amber's potential list of enemies and general creeps, it was her.

"What about an ex-boyfriend?" James asked when they were in his room together, "Is there someone who would want to see her dead?"

"Not really. Amber never really dated. She never had time," Vanessa informed him, "She just worked, came home, studied, and slept. Wasn't much of a life, to be honest. She and I used to hang out a lot more, but she really shut herself off from her social life once she got her own place."

"Yeah, I get why," James slumped, "This house sucks. I'd leave too if I could."

"You know James, judging from these cryptic messages you're showing me," Vanessa began cautiously, "I think…I think the killer is one of your enemies, rather than one of hers."

"Yeah, but I can't think of anyone that hates me that much," James replied morosely, "There are bullies in my school, mostly cyberbullies, but I'm not a special target. I don't have anyone that hates only me. I'm not interesting enough for anyone to hate me that much."

"What about outside of school?" Vanessa prodded.

"Online you mean? Well…no, not really," James shrugged, "I don't doxx anyone, and I don't troll too much. I guess I do curse out other players when I'm in voice chat, but it's something we all do. Nobody takes it personally."

"Maybe someone did," Vanessa theorized, "We are talking about a highly unstable individual who might think they're a video game character. Hm…well, if we can't get the psychology of the real person, then maybe we should look at what we do know. What can you tell me about this cartoon skeleton thing?"

"Sans?" James asked skeptically, "How is that going to help?"

"People will take on different personas based on things they lack in real life," Vanessa explained, "Like, someone might want to be Darth Vader because he's in control of his underlings, and the real person doesn't feel like they have control in their life. Or someone might pretend to be someone chaotic because they felt like they weren't allowed to express their true selves, like when John Wayne Gacy took on the Pogo The Clown persona. So, what kind of villain is Sans?"

"He's not the villain," James told her, "Sans in Undertale is probably the most popular overrated character in the game. Like, everybody who plays this game seems to love him. He's funny, lazy, and really freaking powerful. Like, this was a boss in the game I couldn't even beat! To be fair, I'm not good at precision games. I'm more of an open sandbox kinda guy."

"Popular and powerful, makes sense," Vanessa nodded, "The guy we're looking for is probably lonely and feels like society has rejected him. He's probably someone who can't get the attention of romantic partners, and feels like his life is sad and pathetic. Pretending to be someone beloved and powerful probably makes them feel good. As for why Amber is the target though, this might be a stalker situation."

"Then why are they going after me?" James questioned, "I'm not handsome, I'm not successful, and I…I'm not really in a position to reject anyone's friendship. This guy doesn't want to be my friend though, he wants me to kill myself. He kidnapped Amber and wants me to kill myself. Why would he do something like that? Why pretend to be Sans and make me kill myself?"

"For control," Vanessa succinctly replied.

"Control?" James flatly asked.

"Yeah. He's pretending to be someone powerful to get you to do something for his amusement. This guy might get off on the idea of making you do something rather than doing it himself."

"Geez, if his Undertale-sona was accurate, he would've pretended to be Flowey," James said half-jokingly, "Armchair psychology aside, how does this help me find Amber?"

"I don't know," Vanessa admitted, "But in order to track down the kidnapper, we have to know something about them. Knowing how they think, we might be able to track them down. We can't do it alone though. We have to go to the cops."

"But they think I'm just messing with them," James sulked.

"Hey, the squeaky wheel gets the oil," Vanessa said encouragingly, "If we want them to help us, then we can't let them forget her. Amber would do the same for either of us. We can't let them forget about Amber, and we have to keep collecting evidence too. She might still be alive, but that chance gets slimmer with every day that passes. We can't let up!"

James was grateful to have Vanessa in his corner. He didn't know her very well, but he appreciated that someone as driven as her was Amber's friend. He could see why they got along. Amber was also someone who wouldn't just sit back and drown in her own sorrow, at least not for long.

Whatever happened, they would honor his sister's spirit.

Grillby's

Amber spun around on her barstool, shouting "Wheeee!" and kicking her feet like a little kid.

"Heh, I see now why adult soda is also called spirits," Sans joked, swaying back and forth on his own barstool.

They had both managed to put away 5 adult sodas each, and while Sans wasn't exactly sober at this point, Amber was so drunk that it was surprising she was even still conscious.

"Wow, look, man…if you…if you…if you look up at the light just right…it looks like a ground star…" Amber slurred, dizzy and drunk simultaneously.

"Man, I am not looking forward to going home tonight," Sans rasped before taking another swig, "…Papyrus…he don't like it when I come home like this. He says drinking turns me into a bonehead."

"I think genetics turned you into a bonehead," Amber quipped, "Haha, hey, I managed to pake a mun!"

"Good one," Sans replied goodnaturedly, "Man…I am really not looking forward to going home. Say, do you have siblings that get on your case like this?"

"Nah, if anything I'm the re-responsiveble one," Amber mumbled, sagging further into her seat, "James is so…"

Amber didn't finish her thought, and Sans didn't push her. He tried to remember if he had ever heard the name "James". He hadn't. This could be useful information. He wanted to get Amber drunk enough to speak with him freely, and it seemed like his plan was working perfectly. While she gasped and leaned on the bar, Sans slyly took out his interdimensional notebook and wrote down the notes he felt he would need later.

"Hey Sans, can I ask you something…personal?" Amber asked as her glassy eyes turned to him, "Well, can I?"

"Oh, sure," Sans chuckled, "Ask away."

"Well, it's a hysterical question," Amber began, but then, "No, wait! That's the wrong word! It's, uh…a hypothetical? Yeah, that's the right word. That's the question I want to ask."

Then there was a pause between them that lasted for almost an entire minute.

"So?" Sans prodded.

"So what?" Amber asked obliviously.

"What was your hypothetical question?" Sans reminded her.

"Oh, right. I wanted to ask…" Amber took a few deep breaths, and then said, "Let's pretend that you got transported to an alien planet. Like, it's farther away than even the surface. Like, there's nothing there you recognize, and you're all alone…"

Sans perked up a little at that one. He wasn't sure how much Amber knew about him, but this scenario was depressingly familiar to him.

"My question is," Amber continued, "If you could never ever get back to your own planet ever ever again…if you were stuck on the alien planet forever ever…how would you…deal? Like, what would you do then?"

"Hypothetically?" Sans repeated, and Amber nodded, "Well, first of all, I would cover my tracks so that no one knew I didn't belong there. I would study the local culture and physical appearances of the natives. Make sure everything lined up with how I presented myself. Then, I would move to a small town, some place that doesn't have a lot of resources so that if anyone found out about me, they couldn't do much about it. It would be a big enough town to have amenne- amenities, but not big enough to be considered important by the aliens. Then I would make as many friends as I could so that the aliens would see me as nice and useful. Pretty good hypothetical plan, huh?"

"Wow…thanks, man," Amber's voice had a warm tone Sans wasn't used to hearing from the awkward ghost, "All this time I was…I was afraid I was stupid. Your plan sounds so much like mine. You…make me feel…not stupid. Whatever the word for not stupid is. Hahaha!"

Amber giggled and spun around on her barstool again, and Sans laughed despite nothing really being funny.

"Hey, Amber. You're pretty wasted," Sans observed, "You should probably sleep that off. Why don't I help you out?"

"Whaddya mean? I'm fine!" Amber whined, though beneath the sheet she was still smiling, "I love it here! Good food, good…soda. Hee hee hee! Soda! Hahaha!"

"Come on, Amber. I know a place where you can go," Sans said as he paid the tab and walked a couple steps ahead of her, "Just follow me, and everything will be just fine."

"Of course it will!" Amber squealed, "You're my best friend…"

Sans held the door while Amber stumbled through it. Papyrus said she was close to becoming corporeal, so he figured she might forget how to phase through walls…if that was actually what was going on.

As Amber came close to falling, she stumbled against Sans and held on. He held her up, but noticed something was off. There was a solid structure beneath the ethereal form of this ghost. He could feel…arms?

"Hey Amber, you're looking rather bootiful tonight. Heh heh," Sans joked as he held her up, "Say, I got an idea. Why don't you and your brother come over to my house together next time? I'd love to meet him, and I know Papyrus will look for any excuse to make a new friend. What do you say?"

"Oh…no. He can't come," Amber said, sounding a little sad, "Besides, I don't think you and James would like each other. You kept…you kept killing him. He might get a little salty. He's a sore loser…"

"Killing him?" Sans asked intently.

"Hey, where are we walking?" Amber asked, ignoring his question, "This isn't the way home. That's…Snowed Inn. Hey, are you trynna get me in bed?"

"It's just safer for you to sleep it off here than to walk all the way to…wherever you live," Sans replied nonchalantly, "I know you leave Snowdin to go home, but I've never checked to see where you actually live."

"Live is a strong term for what I do these days. Haha…" Amber said before yawning loudly, "…Sans? Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything," Sans assured her, "Well, you probably can't tell me the Grillby Burger secret formula, but you can tell me anything else. Heh heh."

"Well, I…I don't know if I can do this…" Amber whispered, making Sans lean in closer to hear her, "I miss my brother. I miss my friends. Heaven help me, I even miss my parents! How do you rebuild a life when everything around you feels…repetitive? Like, none of this matters? How do you do things, knowing the answer, knowing that it won't get you anywhere you actually want to go?"

"Heh, I've been trying to answer that question for a long time," Sans replied sincerely, "I guess…you just take what you're given. Find the things that give you joy, find the people that can give your life meaning, and just accept what you have. Leave the rest to forces bigger than you."

Sans then opened the door to Snowed Inn and shambled inside, Amber still clutching to his coat like a barnacle.

"Welcome to Snowed Inn," The bunny lady at the front desk greeted them, "A stay in one of our rooms and 80 gold."

Amber's weight was starting to feel dead, and Sans could faintly hear her breathing next to his head. He realized that she was falling asleep already.

"Uh, yeah, we'd like a room," Sans told her, "My friend here had one too many brews at Grillby's. Don't want her floating home in this condition."

"My my, that's surprisingly responsible of you, Sans," The receptionist commented, her friendly smile never wavering, "Is she a friend or, um, something more?"

"Just a friend, though I have a feeling she's very special," Sans winked.

The bunny lady giggled, handing Sans the key to the room.

"You two be careful now, and don't get into any trouble," The receptionist warned, "Remember, ghosts have feelings too."

Sans thanked her for the key and the advice, and then dragged Amber up the stairs. He was careful with her, beginning to figure out that there was a body under the sheet. He didn't know if Amber had fused with a body, or if she was never a ghost to begin with. Well, one way to find out…

Entering the room, Sans threw her on the bed and took a moment to catch his breath. He hadn't had to lift anything that heavy since Papyrus made him carry rocks to one of his puzzles. Whatever Amber had fused with, it wasn't light. He had a feeling there was more than a training dummy under there.

Approaching quietly, even though he knew she was passed out cold, Sans gently grasped at the sheet. He clutched at it for a moment that lasted way longer than it should have. He didn't know what he was afraid of. Even if this was the one he was looking for, she was asleep. She couldn't hurt him in this state.

Gathering his nerve, so to speak, Sans yanked the sheet away to reveal…

"The human," Sans whispered softly to himself, "So, this is the mysterious woman's so-called child."

Now, came a difficult decision. Sans had made two promises. He promised to return the anomaly's sister in exchange for the anomaly dying once and for all. He also promised the mysterious woman at the ruins to return her lost human child to her. Problem was, Sans was sure that Amber was both of these people.

Then there was the other issue…the flower.

Sans had been so sure that the flower was the anomaly. It wasn't a monster, and it wasn't a human. Logically, it made sense that the flower would be the being that manipulated space/time. Amber didn't like the flower, however. She didn't treat it like her brother, and the name she gave for her brother wasn't Flowey; it was James.

Sans had to know more. Before he could make a decision, he had to know if he had the right one. Was this the anomaly's kin? Well, he had a name now, and he could use that name to find out. In order to find out if the anomaly was James though, he needed to make sure he had the leverage, just in case.

He needed Amber.

Sighing, realizing he had no choice now, he lifted Amber off the bed. The receptionist would likely give him a refund for only staying a few minutes. She was a fair monster that way. Then, Sans would take Amber to the one place where he could deal with this situation in peace.