Chapter 10. Interaction

Content warning: contains mild sexual activity (foreplay) and sexual banter between characters.

It was another week before Bucky saw Hope again. He did hear from her Wednesday, two days after her mother, Joyce, started her chemotherapy. Calling later in the evening she told him how supportive Tom was being, having come from Boston to look after her mother.

"I could hear her during that first night, being sick in the bathroom, and he was so kind and patient with her. He made me breakfast the next morning and told me about taking care of his wife while she was dying of cancer." There was a pause while she took a breath. "I'm worried about her. She doesn't want me to call Bobby or Tara, but I feel like they should know."

"You know why she hasn't told them, don't you?"

"Yeah, and I get it, but I feel like she's not giving them a chance to help her through this. Then again, I haven't told them I'm here, either. As far as they know I'm still in Chicago."

"Why haven't you told them?" There was no sound for some time and for a moment Bucky wondered if the call had been dropped. "Hope? You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how to explain it, but it isn't something I wanted to say over the phone."

"Come over," he said. "I can come get you."

"I would but I have a staff meeting in the morning, 8 am, then I'm seeing my therapist." She sighed. "Talking about it now isn't the right time. Can I come over Friday morning, say 9:30?"

"Okay, Friday morning," he repeated. "I'll leave the door unlocked. Just knock and come in."

She agreed and they ended the call. He suspected it had something to do with how much she was like her mother in trying to deal with things on her own. On Thursday he attended his class, then picked up a couple of empty plant pots and some potting soil to repot the plants that needed it. After that he called Joyce by phone to ask how she was doing with her treatment, but she didn't answer. Tom called him back, having seen the call display on her phone. She was napping after that day's infusion.

"I'll tell her you called as soon as she wakes up," said Tom. He lowered his voice. "I know she wants to talk to you about Hope."

"I'm seeing her tomorrow morning," replied Bucky. "Is Joyce worried?"

"Well, let's just say she's emotional about her." Tom coughed. "I'm trying to be supportive for both of them."

"Do you need help with Joyce?"

"No, I've got that covered. She said this round isn't hitting her as hard as the last one. It's just the timing of Hope's issues, and Joyce wanting to be there for her. They'll get through it. Hope is working on a canvas right now. Her therapist suggested she pour her feelings into something creative."

The two men promised to keep in touch and ended the call. Deciding he might as well repot those two plants, Bucky got busy with that, finding it amusing that Alpine wanted to supervise. She jumped up onto the table where he had everything laid out on top of newspaper to make for easy cleanup after. At first, she seemed content to just watch, then she found a small clump of potting soil and batted that off the table, sitting at the edge and looking down at the floor where the small clump was now scattered.

"Merup?" she chirped, looking back at him.

"Alpine," he signed, using the motions for mountain since there was no equivalent, then shook his head. "No."

Her response was to find another clump and push that over the edge of the table, then look at the mess she made on the floor. With a sigh, Bucky picked her up and put her on her bed by the window, hoping she found something interesting to watch outside. She made it back to the table before he did, upping her game by batting at a dried leaf that came off one of the plants, until it also joined the debris on the floor.

"You're making a mess," he signed, while saying it out loud as he frowned, having read that it was possible cats could read lips as well as facial expressions.

Needing something to distract her, he went into his storage room and came out with a paper bag and a cardboard box. Opening the bag, he left it on the floor, a few feet away from the box. Then he tossed one of her toys on the floor while she was looking and waited to see if that interested her enough to lure her off the table. At first, she just sat there and licked herself, then suddenly jumped down to a chair and onto the floor, sauntering over to where her toy lay. She started playing with it and he returned his attention to the plant, wanting to get it done before Alpine lost interest in the new playthings. Within minutes the toy was deliberately pushed under the couch, and she sat there, meowing piteously, staring at him. Dusting his hands off, Bucky lifted the couch expecting her to take the toy. Instead, she sat underneath, looking up at the underside of the piece of furniture. Carefully, he repositioned himself, while still holding the couch up, so that he was on his knees.

"You can't stay here," he said, more for himself, while gesturing with his hand for her to come out.

His phone started ringing and he quickly grabbed the toy then her with one hand, lowering the couch and placing them both on top. Reaching for his phone, he noticed the call display said Joyce and answered it, then sat on the couch where Alpine still was. She played with his left hand while he spoke.

"Hi," he answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she replied, "but Tom's taking good care of me."

"So, I hear. You wanted to talk to me."

He could hear Joyce's breathing change, as well as the background noise as it went from quiet to the sound of muffled traffic and birdsong. She wasn't in the house.

"Sorry, I just went outside," she said. "Tom said you're seeing Hope tomorrow."

"Yeah, just to talk," he answered. "What's wrong?"

There was a long moment of silence. "Be gentle with her when you see her. I think she's going to tell you about a very traumatic time in her life. It happened after she got her master's degree." He started to talk but she interrupted him. "Before you ask what, it's not my place. I'm still angry about it, but not at her. She needs to tell you herself."

He heard Hope's voice in the background then Joyce quickly said goodbye and hung up. She didn't call back, and he didn't hear from Hope either, until late in the evening when he received a text.

Hope: can't sleep. You up?

Bucky: yeah, just watching a movie. Call me.

His phone rang a moment later.

"Hi," he answered. "Everything okay?"

"I know I wanted to wait until tomorrow morning, but can I come over now?" she asked. "I have to get this off my chest."

"Okay," he said. "I'll run over. You come out when you see me."

"You don't have to do that," she replied. "I can walk there on my own."

"Sweetheart, no. Let me do this, please."

"Okay, I'll see you shortly."

She hung up and Bucky pulled his boots on, lacing them up, then grabbed his jacket and door key. Less than 10 minutes later, he waited on the sidewalk in front of the brownstone, as the door opened, and Hope stepped out. She surprised him by hugging him tightly, but he returned it, then put his arm around her as they began the walk back to his place.

"Does your mom know you're with me?" he asked.

"No, but Tom was up, so he'll tell her." Her arm came up around his waist, then reached up under his shirt, connecting with his skin. "Don't mind me. I'm feeling a little touch starved."

He smiled, as he felt the same. Soon, they were at his place, and he unlocked the door, letting her go inside first. After toeing off his boots Bucky took two glasses out of his cupboard and pulled out a bottle of scotch, pouring them each some.

"I figured you might need this," he said.

"It doesn't hurt," she responded, taking the glass from him and sipping from it.

Sitting at one end of the couch, she pulled her legs up underneath her, while Bucky sat on the other end, facing her. Alpine soon came to greet her, curling up on Hope's lap.

"Where do I begin?" She took another sip before putting her glass on the coffee table. "I graduated from college in 2012, BFA in Visual Arts, painting major. It's a hard life to make money in and I ended up taking some night school classes in digital design. It was interesting enough to make me rethink my focus on painting, but I could only get contract jobs in the digital field. I was advised to get my master's degree in it to improve my chances of getting a better job. So, after a year of contract work, I started that process. In 2015, I got my master's in it and promptly got a job with a top advertising agency. I liked the work. It was creative, fast paced, and with that agency there was a good balance between the artistic and commercial vision that I felt good about what I was doing. Then, about a few months into that job, we got a new art director at the agency, Kane Phillips. He was in his early 30s, handsome, charming, very talented and supportive of what we were doing. He even encouraged all of us to spread our wings artistically, and be even more creative. He asked me out and I slept with him after that first date. I moved in with him two weeks later. He was passionate and definitely had a dominant personality, but he made it seem like we were equal partners in a once-in-a-lifetime relationship."

As she spoke more, Bucky noticed that Hope was starting to fidget, twisting her fingers together, clearing her throat, and shifting her posture.

"Do you want to take a break?" he asked.

A quick shake of her head was Hope's answer. She still fidgeted, so he waited.

"You have to understand, that even though I was 25, I was actually quite inexperienced," she said, frowning a little. "I only had that one serious relationship and a lot of first dates that went nowhere because of my issues with trust. Kane was so persuasive and debonair that I thought I was gaining life experience. Gradually, he began introducing some dominance play into our sex life and I went along with it." She shook her head, while she scrunched her face up. "I should have said no, but he said it would allow us to explore the depth of our relationship. I know now that it was more like grooming me for some intense stuff. I wasn't aware of how depraved his appetite really was. Gradually, he became more violent and abusive of me during sex then it spilled out into our daily lives, with him becoming more verbally abusive then physically abusive. Of course, at work, he was a perfect gentleman, and we were the perfect couple."

She drank more from her glass, then took Alpine off her lap, stood up and went to the window, looking out on the street, before turning around.

"Almost a year into the relationship, he asked me ... no, he told me that he wanted to see me be ... fucked by other men while he watched. I said no, and he hit me, just like that. Broke my nose. We went to the hospital, but I didn't tell them he did it. Said I got hit in the face by a baseball. He was all apologetic and begged me for forgiveness, making all sorts of excuses. I thought I loved him, so I did." Pausing again, she drank the rest of her drink and sat down once more. "It went from bad to worse. Every time I stood up to him, I paid for it, sometimes ending up at the hospital, most of the time hiding at home until my injuries healed. Then Mom got breast cancer, and Kane got angry that I was spending time supporting her. That's how possessive he was; I couldn't even spend time with my parents. He started hitting me so that I would have bruising that kept me in the house, and I could only talk to her by phone. Then Dad died and it got worse. She needed me to be there, but I was barely managing to deal with him. Kane was gaslighting me, making me believe that I deserved the abuse, and that my family didn't care."

Her lips trembled and Bucky put his hand on hers, making her smile sadly.

"How did you get away?"

"I finally called Bobby, my brother." Her lips trembled, while her eyes became glassy. "Kane pushed me down the stairs when I objected to him going out to a sex club. It was obvious I broke my arm, but he didn't care; told me to deal with it while he went out. While he was gone, I went to the hospital. A doctor there called the police because someone took the time to look up all my earlier visits there for injuries he inflicted. It was a crucial moment. Do I continue living with the abuse that I had hidden from my family? Or do I finally admit I fucked up and ask for help? Bobby brought Mom with him, and she just cried, felt like it was her fault that she hadn't noticed. As if she didn't have enough on her plate." Straightening up she breathed several times. "Mom brought me home from the hospital, Kane showed up to take me back after he made bail. She called the police on him, and he was arrested again. Bobby and his friends came with me to get my things. Kane showed up after making bail again and became verbally abusive to me. Bobby punched him and told him if he ever tried to contact me again that he would kill him. For a while, everything was good as everyone was so supportive, then Bobby and his family moved to Baltimore and the Snap happened. We didn't lose anyone, but Kane turned to dust before his trial. I was still a mess, and it took a toll on my relationship with Mom. He came around to her place when he reappeared, but I was in Chicago with Jack by then, so he was finally out of my life for good."

Lowering her eyes, Hope continued to fidget. Bucky shifted so that he was closer to her, then tugged gently on her hand.

"Come here," he said softly. He guided her to sit on his lap, then enclosed her in his arms, murmuring quietly to her. "No one deserves to go through what you did. I'm so sorry that you experienced that."

"It's nothing compared to what you went through," she began, but Bucky squeezed her lightly.

"Don't say that," he answered. "He had no right to treat you that way. Did he go to trial when he reappeared?"

"No, the charges were dropped because he was one of the decimated and it was past the statute of limitations." She breathed shakily. "I never got the chance to tell anyone what he was really like." She became quiet for a moment, trying to come up with the right words without crying. "I think my brother and sister see me as someone who needs rescuing from her own stupid decisions. I couldn't leave Kane even though he was hurting me. I got stuck in Mexico because of Adam, who I'll tell you about someday, and had to be wired money to get back home. Tara told me to grow up and stop choosing the wrong guy, as if I deliberately search them out. Then when Jack left me, I came crawling home again. I haven't told them I'm here because I don't want to hear them tell me how stupid I've been again."

She burrowed deeper into Bucky's embrace, resting her head against his shoulder. It was comforting to be held by him, even if he didn't say anything. The warmth of Bucky's body felt like being enclosed in a heated blanket, making her feel sleepy. The quiet acceptance and support made her feel loved. It was addictive in the best sense of the word, but she was afraid of having to depend on him to make her feel good.

"I should go."

"Stay," pleaded Bucky. "Just to sleep and cuddle. We've both missed each other physically. You're tired and I just want to be close to you."

"I don't have any pyjamas," she countered weakly.

"Wear some of my clothes. I have lots of T-shirts and you can wear a pair of my shorts or sweatpants. I have a spare toothbrush and other things that I bought for when you were going to stay over before. Please, stay with me tonight."

"We can't take it further. I want to but I can't do more than just sleep together."

She was twisting her fingers together again, her anxiety so clearly evident. Gently, he kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm not asking you to. I just want to comfort you, Hope. I promise we'll just sleep. Scout's honour."

She breathed out a short laugh. "Were you ever a Boy Scout?"

The rumble from his chuckle made her smile. "No, they were too goody two-shoes for my taste, or Steve's. We avoided them like the plague." He rubbed her arm. "You have my word."

"Okay," she breathed out. "I'll stay."

In the bedroom, Bucky pulled out several T-shirts for Hope, as well as shorts and sweatpants, letting her decide which she wanted. While she changed, he texted Tom that Hope was sleeping over. There was no answer, making him think that the man had gone to bed. Then he brushed his teeth and brought out the packaged toothbrush and other toiletries he had for Hope. When she came out of the bedroom wearing his clothes, he smiled and switched places with her. After changing into his own sleepwear, Bucky made sure the door was locked and turned off the lamps in the living room. He waited in the bed for her.

"Is that the side you usually sleep on?" she asked, when she entered. "I don't want to put you out of your routine."

"I'm still old school and sleep closest to the door," he explained, shrugging. "It's a 40s man thing, so, on your right." He looked at his arm. "I take this off at night." Pressing into the release mechanism he detached his arm, placing it on the nightstand, then watched as she slipped under the cover on the other side of the bed before he turned off the light. Hope turned away from him, as he laid down behind her.

"You can come closer," she murmured, "and put your arm around me, if you want." She scooted backwards towards him, while he shifted closer to her, then encircled her with his right arm and hand. "Thank you for listening, tonight. It wasn't easy to tell you that."

"You're welcome," he answered, resisting the urge to bury his face in her hair and inhale the different scents of her. "You can tell me anything, Hope. I'll listen."

Placing her hand on his, she squeezed it, then laid there in the dark, feeling better than she had since she left that night when they first made love. A little chirp came from the slightly open door, then a small presence jumped onto the bed. Hope looked down at the white kitten that was waiting for an invitation. She patted the small space of the bed in front of her then extended her hand. Alpine rubbed against it, then curled up in the space she had patted.

"Is this, okay?" she asked Bucky.

"Yeah, she likes to sleep with me." Hope yawned. "You sleep, I've got you."

It wasn't long before he knew for certain that she was asleep by the sounds of her breathing and the way her hand twitched slightly against his. He indulged his need to breathe in all of her, committing the complete essence of her to his memory. Then, just before he felt drowsy enough to close his own eyes Bucky lightly kissed Hope's shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered, so softly that it was barely audible even to himself.

His eyes closed and he allowed himself to drift off.

Neither of them woke up until they heard Hope's phone receive a text message. The sun was already up, as the diffused light from the living room brightened the darkness in the bedroom. Alpine wasn't on the bed. Pulling away slightly from him, she reached for her phone and read the message, quickly answering it.

"Was it Joyce?" asked Bucky.

"Yeah, just checking that I was okay before she went for her chemotherapy treatment." She snuggled back into him, bringing his arm back over her. "I slept really well; the best sleep I've had in weeks."

"Me too," he answered, noticing how she intertwined her fingers with his. "I don't think I've ever slept in this late. Thank you for staying."

She turned around so that she was facing him, then squirmed a little.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she smiled. "Don't go anywhere."

"I'll be here."

She was back quickly, getting under the covers as he lifted them up for her. Moments later, Alpine jumped on the bed, meowing in a different tone than the night before. Bucky huffed a little.

"She wants her food. Give me a minute."

He got out and stretched, then headed out to the kitchen. Hope listened as he spoke to the cat, finding it funny he still used his voice even knowing Alpine was deaf. Then she heard him go to the bathroom. He returned a few minutes later, grinning as she lifted the covers for him. Neither said anything as they gazed at each other from their pillows. Then Bucky swallowed and caressed her face, before running the ends of her hair through his fingertips. Hope took his hand in her own, kissing the palm seductively.

"I promised." He said it almost as a whisper.

"I know. I'm just tired of being afraid of what happened before."

"With good reason. I can wait for that. You're worth it to me."

Without his left arm he was unable to prop himself up on his elbow to kiss her, so he gently tugged her closer, until their legs tangled together, and their faces almost met. Gently, he kissed her on the forehead, then moved to her cheek and the edge of her mouth, before studying her face. Running his right hand down her back, he ran it back up under her T-shirt, splaying his hand between her shoulder blades and bringing her even closer.

"We could try something without going all the way," he whispered. "I just want to touch your skin in a way that makes us both feel good." Hope hesitated. "We won't take our clothes off, we'll just touch. Sit on my lap."

Nodding her head, she waited while he sat up against the headboard. At first, she kept his borrowed shorts on then found they got in the way, so she slipped them off while keeping her panties on. Positioned as she was on his lap, her face was up higher than his. There was something incredibly erotic about being above him. It made her feel like she was dominant in an enticing way.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked. "Do you like that?"

"Yes. You must like it too because you're already hard."

His lopsided grin gave no apologies for his body's reaction to her.

"Well, that's easy to explain when I have a beautiful woman wearing only a T-shirt and panties on my lap."

Teasingly, she pressed down into him, bringing out a groan of pleasure, then she tugged on his top.

"What if I want to see your chest?" asked Hope, with a shy smile. "Can I take your shirt off?"

"That's as far as it goes. I'm saving myself for the right girl." He squeezed her bottom, then slipped his hand inside her panties so that it made contact with her skin. "Oh, I think I found her."

Laughing at his comment, she lifted his T-shirt off over his head, tossing it aside. Smoothing one hand over his chest and running the other into his hair she kissed him, sweetly at first, then opening her mouth more as he kneaded the skin of her ass and pressing her onto his hardened length. The friction from the layers of clothing between them aroused her and she soon found herself grinding into him.

"Yeah, that's it," he murmured, as she ran her lips over his neck. "I like how that feels."

"Have you been doing research?" asked Hope. "You seem awfully good at this."

"Is it obvious?" He rubbed his face against her neck.

"Uh huh, but I like it," she replied, leaning into it. "I feel like a teenager, except I never got to do this when I was one."

"You missed out on so much," he murmured as he mouthed the area of her neck under her ear. He switched his hand to her front, rubbing his hand over her breast, until the nipple hardened, and Hope's breathing increased. "This was Heaven on Earth when I was a teenager; if a girl let you touch her like this."

"Seriously?" She looked at him. "I thought getting into her panties would be that."

"That was the Holy Grail, almost unattainable by mere boys," he grinned, still caressing her under the T-shirt. "I wasn't even Catholic, but I got there when I was 17. But enough about losing my virginity. This is about us, about feeling good without going all the way." He stopped for a moment, looking up at her. "You are feeling good, aren't you?"

Her face softened as she looked down at him. "Yeah, this is ... fun."

"Good."

They kissed again, letting themselves explore each other over and under their clothing. It was flirtatious and seductive, as they traded sexy banter throughout the heated make out session that didn't see either of them remove any more clothing completely. It was more than enough for both to come, although Hope surprised Bucky by giving him a hand job for his release.

"You didn't have to do that," he told her, after she came back from the bathroom with a wet cloth to clean him up. "I wasn't doing this for me."

"I know," she smiled, wiping his abdomen down as she perched on top of the bed clothes. "Two weeks ago, you gave me the best sex I'd ever had, and I freaked out after. What we did just now, was completely different but it ranks right up there as the most satisfying sex I've ever experienced. Bucky, you've been researching how to please a woman which is a hell of a lot more than most guys do."

"I just want it to be good for both of us," he answered. "Seeing you come makes me feel good."

She dropped the face cloth into his hamper and returned to the bed, sitting cross legged in front of him. "My panties are soaked, and I'm going to have to walk home commando, but I don't care because I have a boyfriend that knows how to please a woman, who made her feel sexy and desirable, and yet still didn't feel that he deserved a hand job as thanks."

"Well, when you put it that way." He took her hand in his. "Thank you. So, we can do that again until we're ready to go all the way?"

"We're still going to do that even after we re-engage in full frontal, naked, nasty sex," replied Hope. "Don't ever stop researching or trying to make it fun. I think it got us both out of our heads." She got up, picking up her clothes from where she left them folded on a chair. "I'm going to leave some clothes here, if that's okay. Right now, I'm going to have a quick shower then I want to go for some breakfast. I'm starving."

Smiling as she left, Bucky stretched out on the bed, feeling pretty relaxed. Alpine jumped up and climbed onto his chest. Idly stroking the kitten, he listened to the sound of the shower. Then he recalled what she said about him; calling him her boyfriend that knew how to please a woman. They were a couple and that made him happy. He deserved ... no, they deserved to be happy. They were definitely in this together.