Speech = ``...´´
Thoughts = [...]
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It was cold…
It was a cold day….
The icy touch of the morning air slipping callously inside and reaching out with invisible fingers towards the only and sole occupant of the tent at the time. Her body covered as much as she could with what little she had to do so, yet the tattered pieces of cloth, worn down and chewed by time and insects had left the thing ridden with holes.
Making the woman underneath to tremble and shudder at the coldness that brought her up from her slumber.
A pair of wolf like ears slowly perking up at the not so distant sounds of the other clan members going in and about outside, or the wind howling with strenght. Thin, pale fingers gripped the blankets as she tried to tilt her head to the side, trying to find someone even if her glossy, pained eyes and her body tried to stop her.
Her ears folded once she realized that she was alone. That her little girl was not resting with her, her spot empty and cold...
Cold.
She felt cold…
It was...painfully cold.
She tried to tilt her head away, to grind her teeth, yet even then she could not shake the sheer grip it held over her.
No matter how hard she wrapped herself around with what little cloth remained of her blankets, how much she worked if only to keep the small flames lingering in the brazier to remain just a little longer.
She had not always been like this…
There had been a time when she had been able to run on the fields, to hunt and walk under the sunlight, to feel the air brush against her face be it day or night with a sensation of exhilaration coursing through her..
Until she no longer could..
Like the darkness that came after the last strayed streams of light left the fields and the darkness of the sunless sky brought, the malady struck her without warning…and without mercy.
What little was left behind…became fodder for the cold that refused to part away from her heart, waning what strength she had left.
Leaving her bed ridden…
Weak..
Useless.
Abandoned...
One by one, her scattered thoughts started to pile up one after the other.., pricking at her from the inside like cold needles yet bearing a weight that her body could not topple against.
The shame of it all….
Perhaps that was why she did not sense or hear a certain someone enter into her tent before they literally jumped into her line of sight in the form of a black blurr of black hair and purple bright eyes.
Small, thin arms wrapping around her back while a small body pressed against her form rather tightly. Her ears picking up the sound of a fluffy black tail wagging left and right in earnest, clearly happy to be there.
A harmless act born out of love...especially now that her nose finally picked up the scent of her daughter who was nudging her head against her chest, muttering an almost purring like sound in the process.
Sadly, like many other times before, the sheer glee of her little girl and her lack of control of her strength had literally left her without air in her lungs again when she collided with her.
However, she did not cried in pain…
She never did.
Not when it could mean to dis-spell whatever small joy her little one could still muster. Especially since it was already her fault they were living like this..
If only she had not fallen ill..
``Mama, mama….Sara is back, desu...´´
``Would it not be...I am back?´´
``Hmm? Sara is confused, Sara did just that, desu..?´´
She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of her body swing by, pushing her back onto the mattress, sweat sliding down her pale and glistened skin, her heart throbbing slowly inside her chest.
Of course she would not get it…
Sometimes things just did not get through her daughters little head, but it was fine.
She was special.
Her special little pup...
``N-nothing…, nothing dear. Just your mother saying nonsense. So, what were you…...doing so earl-´´
She started to say...only for her words to die out on her tongue when she finally managed to take a good look at the light of her life. The color of his skin already pale as it was, lost a few more shades of life when she did.
Dirty, covered in grime and scratches all over her body that bleed slowly, leaving scarlet trails to slid down her young face. Her face and arms, the spots that were not covered by her shirt were covered in bruises that looked too fresh for her little body.
But what she could not take her eyes away from where the way her dear smiled back at her, uncaring of the way her lips were torn and bleeding, or how one of her fangs had fallen out from her mouth, leaving a vacant space as blood continued to stain her teeth and mouth..
Sara looked horrible….
Her little girls body looking to have been mauled and battered and yet by the looks of it she was the happiest thing in the world.
Happy to be with her..
Happy to be here…
It pained her to see her like this...and yet, a part of her felt relief.
Sara…
Her Sara was especial….
The world no matter how cruel it was, how unrelenting and cold it was….it could not rob her Sara what made her especial.
Slowly...yet steadily, she semi rose from her position. Placing a scrawning hand slid past the blankets and warping it around her daughters back, bringing her closer…caressing her. Not caring at the way the blood started to smear on her while her other hand started to pat Saras head.
``You are a good girl…, you know that right?´´
``Uwuuwuu…..ha-ruff,! Sara is a good girl, always has, always will be…!´´
Her little girl answered with enthusiasm, her smile even more wider and brigh than before. She could not help but feel her heart melt a little bit by that.
``What did you…. do today?´´
``Sara went out, out on the field very very early... hunting big tasty boar...desu´´
``D-did that boar did this to you?´´
``Nop…´´
``No?´´
``Nop, the boar stood no chance. Stalked it and pounced on it right away, desu…..´´
``Oh dear, I am so proud of you. You are very strong..´´
``Hmmpf!´´
``If only I could have seen it…´´
``Hehe…, Sara knew that you would say that, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring prey back home...´´
``Y-you did?´´
``Ha-ruff! Sara wanted to show mama what she had done so she could see it...´´
As if to prove her point the young black haired Theariontrope started to rummage over something that she had left to her side before she caught the sight of a half eaten boar, and even then...it was twice the size of her daughter..
``What happened…. after?´´
``Affff-ttter?´´
``How...did you... got hurt?´´
``Ah..., it was those two..´´
``Those tw-you mean your brothers….?´´
A bad feeling started to brew in her heart, a part of her wanting to refuse those thoughts starting to plague her mind and heart...yet her dearest could do nothing but reaffirm her suspicions with a vigorous nod, not understanding or noticing the changes in her mothers expression.
``Yeap! They tried to steal Saras prey, so Sara bit their fingers of..´´
The way she spoke the fact that she had literally reaped the fingers of her brothers with her own teeth with such an easy going expression like it was no big deal, no.., with pride even should have been startling.
But that was how Sara was…
Not vicious or cruel...but just uncaring of anything that was not what mattered to her.
Hunting...or her.
She sighed again, this time having a little more trouble to breath while she brushed away some of the blood away from her little girls face.
``You did not need to bite them.., you should be nicer to your brothers..´´
She tried to say, for family was everything in their kins existence. However, that seemed to be the wrong thing to say as her daughter suddenly bristled with anger.
``Ergh...but they are bad..! Sara work hard for this prey, they can not have Saras prey auuurgh! Its not fair! Not fair, not fair, not fair..!´´
``No one is bad..´´
``But they are..!´´
``Sara...please´´
She tried to say, but neither her body nor her daughter would have it as she fell victim under a fit of coughing while her dear star almost slipped away from her grasp, her ears as tense as her tail as her mind was probably going back to all those moments that the clan may have done something bad to her.
The ridicule…
The starving..
The attacks…
The weak had no place in the Wolf-tribe, they were purged...for that was how life was meant to be. The strong live….while the weak perish.
That was how things worked...
That was how it would go on…
..
..
..
This was not place for a child to grow…
``Rrrrraaaaaaagh! Father is bad, the clan is bad, the brothers are bad…leaving mama alone, is not fair, is not fair desu.…!´´
Anger, pain and exasperation slipped through her dearest words...hurt and bothered by everything.
She wished she could tell her it would be ok, that it would soon be over... yet the only thing she could do was embrace her daughter with what little strength she had left, allowing her to cradle her head between her neck and shoulder, allowing her vent out her frustrations while she hold her.
``They say mean things…,´´
``I know..´´
`` They do mean things…´´
``I know…´´
``They are mean to Sara and mama…, all of them…!´´
They were.
She knew that they were…, there was no denying that, no need to forget about that.
And the worst part….? That it was all her fault.
Tears started to slid down her face, bitter and cold as they reached past her dried lips. Her grip of her embrace starting to wane and loosen around her daughter.
``I am sorry….so sorry that I am…. such a heavy burden to you... ´´
``Eh? A what, desu..?´´
``Ah, if only…..if only I could…. shake this sickness off...´´
Perhaps then things would go back as they were before.., perhaps her sons would return back instead of leaving her behind without a second thought. Perhaps then Sara could smile and live without the pain her stigma had draw her into. And perhaps then her bones would be freed from this cold touch that refused to give her up.
But she knew that such things would not happen. That they were not meant to be….
So why did those thoughts waver the longer she glared at her daugther? The more she witnessed her smile glimmer with life?
How someone like her had brought such a pure soul?
``Mama will get better, mama will get better, Sara will see to it desu..´´
There was no doubt in her mind, no dark thoughts pressing down on her. She truly believed those words.
..
..
She really was special, wasn't she?
``Oh my dear…., your smile... is my salvation´´
She said, yet as she did her arms fell limp to the sides...her body no longer able to hold her little pup, prompting her to slowly fall back into the mattress, her eyes felt….heavy.
``Mama..?´´
``Its…. Nothing.., mama...is just tired..´´
She muttered weakly as she closed her eyes, feeling the dizziness inside crawl up and spread everywhere, clearly the conversation having drained more than she thought it would.
The last thing she saw been the confused expression morphing in Saras face.
It was cold…
Why was it so cold..?
``But mama...you have to wake up to eat…´´
``I….I will….just….just let me close my eyes…. a little bit...ok sweaty?´´
``Mama?´´
``….´´
``Mama?´´
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
``M-mama?´´
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A/N
Here comes another chapter, this one a little shorter than usual, still... I hope you like it. Feel free to comment to give some feedback. Any commentary will be appreciated.
For those who may dont know Sara is the original name for Delta.